I'M ALSO EXCITED ABOUT TONIGHT'S
GUEST. I HAVE KNOWN HIM FOR A LONG TIME
BUT NEVER IN THIS ROLE. MY FIRST GUEST IS THE ONLY
PERSON TO HAVE PLAYED A U.S. SENATOR ON "SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE"
AND THEN BECOME ONE IN REAL LIFE. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) PLEASE WELCOME THE GENTLEMAN
FROM MINNESOTA, SENATOR AL FRANKEN! ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
♪ THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG MOVING MY HIPS LIKE YEAH
♪ GOT MY HANDS UP THEY'RE PLAYING MY SONG
♪ AND I KNOW I'M GOING TO BE OKAY<i>
( CHEERS )</i> >> THANK YOU THANK YOU. NICE WELCOME. >> Stephen: NICE TO SEE YOU
AGAIN. >> GREAT TO SEE YOU. >> Stephen: WE FIRST MET WHEN
YOU WERE A COMEDIAN. >> YES, YES. I USED TO DO KIND OF WHAT YOU DO
A LITTLE BIT. >> Stephen: COMEDY, VARIETY. >> YES. AND SATIRE. >> Stephen: YOU DID THE
ORIGINAL "INDECISIONS" AT COMEDY CENTRAL, '92 AND '96. >> WOW, IT'S IN THE BOOK. IT'S IN MY BOOK. <i>( APPLAUSE )
NOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING HERE IS SO</i> IMPORTANT AND NOW. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
>> Stephen: WELL, FOR MANY YEARS-- FOR MANY YEARS, I DID
WORK AT IMPORTANT CENTRAL. >> YEAH. ( LAUGHTER )
YOU KNOW, I JUST DON'T WANT YOU FOR A MOMENT, NOW THAT I'M A
SENATOR, I DON'T WANT YOU FOR A MOMENT TO THINK THAT WHAT YOU DO
HERE EVERY NIGHT IS ANY LESS IMPORTANT THAN WHAT I DO, EVEN
THOUGH IT IS LESS IMPORTANT. ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: BUT YOU DON'T WANT
ME TO THINK IT. YOU DON'T WANT ME TO THINK THAT. THAT'S VERY KIND. THAT'S SUPER GENEROUS OF YOU. THAT'S SO BIG OF YOU. NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU--
WHAT YOU GUYS DO OVER-- DO OR DON'T DO OVER AT THE SENATE. >> YEAH, THERE'S A LOT OF "DON'T
DOING." >> Stephen: THERE'S A LOT OF
"DON'T DO." >> AND SOMETIMES --
>> Stephen: YES. >> SOMETIMES THE DON'T DOING IS
GOOD. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: OKAY, LET'S TALK
ABOUT-- LET'S TALK ABOUT THE MOST RECENT DIDN'T DO THAT
DIDN'T GET DONE, WHICH WAS PASSING THE SKINNY REPEAL, WHICH
WAS THE LAST-DITCH EFFORT OF THE SENATE REPUBLICANS TO JUST
CREATE ANYTHING THAT THEY COULD GO INTO CONFERENCE COMMITTEE
WITH THE HOUSE TO HAMMER OUT A REPEAL FOR OBAMACARE. >> EXACTLY RIGHT. THEY HAD THEY, YOU KNOW, HAD
SEVEN-PLUS YEARS TO COME UP WITH A REPEAL-AND-REPLACE, AND
EVERYTHING THEY CAME UP WITH WAS TERRIBLE. ( LAUGHTER ). >> Stephen: DID THEY ACTUALLY
COME UP WITH ANYTHING OR WAS IT REALLY LIKE CRAMMING AT THE LAST
MINUTE. LIKE, "OH, (BLEEP). WE TOLD THEM WE HAD SOMETHING. EVERYBODY START TYPING." >> DO YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU SAID? ANYWAY, I'M A SENATOR AND I
CAN'T HEAR WORD LIKE THAT, LIKE WHAT YOU SAID. >> Stephen: STAY AWAY FROM
SCARAMUCCI. ( LAUGHTER )
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) SO, SO FLEETING. SO FLEETING THAT HE COMES, WHAT
A GIFT. HE'S LEAK A FLOWER THAT OPENS
AND THE FIRST RAY OF SUNSHINE JUST SHRIVELS ON THE VINE. >> YEAH, IT WAS-- IT WAS SAD. ( LAUGHTER )
>> Stephen: SO I'M SORRY. SO THERE WE ARE. >> NO, NO, NO, EVERYTHING THEY
CAME UP WITH, EVERY PIECE OF LEGISLATION WAS TERRIBLE. MILLIONS OF PEOPLE-- TENS OF
MILLIONS OF PEOPLE WOULD LOSE THEIR INSURANCE. AND INSURANCE WOULD BE MORE
EXPENSIVE. AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE-- THIS,
YOU KNOW, OBVIOUSLY SENATOR McCAIN, SENATOR COLLINS,
SENATOR MURKOWSKI WERE. ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
HEROES IN-- BUT THE CREDIT REALLY GOES TO THE AMERICAN
PEOPLE WHO SHOWED UP AT TOWN HALLS AND WHO MADE THEIR VOICES
HEARD. I-- I'M COCHAIR OF THE RURAL--
( APPLAUSE ) I'M COCHAIR OF THE RURAL HEALTH
CAUCUS. AND I GO TO RURAL HOSPITALS AND
CLINICS AND NURSING HOMES, AND PEOPLE IN RURAL MINNESOTA HATEDT
I HAD A WOMAN CRY AT A HOSPITAL IN PERN, MINNESOTA. THIS IS A ROUND TABLE, AND SHE
SAID THAT HER MOM GETS HER HOME HEALTH CARE THAT ALLOWS HER TO
STAY IN HER HOME FROM MEDICAID. SHE WOULD LOSE THAT, AND SHE AND
HER HUSBAND BOTH WORK, AND SHE WAS CRYING. AND ABOUT WHAT THE REPUBLICANS
WERE PROPOSING. SO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE STOOD UP
AND SO THEY DESERVE THIS VICTORY. AND WHAT I HOPE WE DO IS WORK IN
A BIPARTISAN WAY TO SHORE UP THE EXCHANGES AND THE WEAKNESSES AND
THE AFFORDABLE CARE ACT -- >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK
THAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN? >> I THINK IT WILL. >> Stephen: BIPARTISAN--
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST BIPARTISAN THING THAT'S HAPPENED? >> WELL, ME IN MY TIME IN THE
SENATE HAVE DONE MANY BIPARTISAN THINGS. >> Stephen: OKAY. >> ON EDUCATION AND OTHER
THINGS. AND I LIKE WORKING WITH MY
REPUBLICAN COLLEAGUES, AND I HOPE THAT WE GET TO THE HEP
COMMITTEE IT'S HEALTH, EDUCATION, AND PENSION
COMMITTEE-- AND THEY WORK WITH US TOGETHER, AND THEIR
COLLEAGUES ON THE OTHER SIDE WHO I THINK WILL JUMP AT WORKING IN
THE SHORT TERM GETTING THESE EXCHANGES. WE'VE ALSO GOT TO GET
PHARMACEUTICAL COSTS DOWN. I HAVE A VERY COMPREHENSIVE BILL
THAT CONTAINS THE IDEAS OF A LOT OF SENATORS TO BRING DOWN THE
COSTS OF PHARMACEUTICALS, AND WE NEED TO DO THAT
( APPLAUSE ) >> Stephen: CAN YOU EXPLAIN TO
US-- WE'VE SEEN SOME OF THE PICTURES AND SOME OF THE
FOOTAGE, SO IT'S HARD TO HEAR WHAT'S GOING-- WERE YOU THERE
WHEN McCAIN GAVE THE THUMBS DOWN? >> YES. >> Stephen: WHAT WAS THAT
MOMENT LIKE? DID EVERYONE KNOW THAT WAS GOING
TO HAPPEN. YOU HEARD AUDIBLE GASPS IN THE
ROOM. >> I SUSPECTED IT WOULD BUT I
DIDN'T KNOW FOR SURE. PENCE HAD LEFT THE ROOM--
( APPLAUSE ). >> Stephen: HE DIDN'T WANT TO
BE AT THE SCENE OF THE MURDER. >> THE LAST VOTE HE WAS THERE
FOR THE ENTIRE VOTE. AND HE HAD LEFT THE ROOM. SO THAT TOLD ME THAT-- THAT HE
WAS GOING TO VOTE NO. SO WHAT WAS INTERESTING THERE
WAS THERE WAS APPLAUSE, AND PARTLY FROM THE GALLERY. I WAS LOOKING AT SENATOR
McCAIN. AND I THINK PARTLY FROM STAFF. AND CHUCK SCHUMER JUST WENT... ( LAUGHTER )
AND EVERYONE STOPPED BECAUSE WE DIDN'T-- WE DIDN'T WANT TO
GLOAT. AND WE SHOULDN'T GLOAT. THIS IS SERIOUS, SERIOUS STUFF. >> Stephen: WELL, TALKING
ABOUT SERIOUS STUFF-- ( APPLAUSE )
YOU-- AS I SAID, WHEN I FIRST MET YOU, OH, I DON'T KNOW 15, 16
YEARS AGO, I WAS AT A ROAST, A CHEVY CHASE ROAST. >> OH, YEAH. >> Stephen: AND YOU WROTE--
>> YES. >> Stephen: YOU WRITE IN YOUR
BOOKS THE LIES AND THE LYING LIARS WHO TELL THEM. RUSH LIMBAUGH SAY BIG FAT IDIOT. STUFF LIKE THAT. YOU MADE A LOT OF FUNUE POKED A
LOT OF FUN AT POLITICIANS IN WASHINGTON, D.C. NOW THAT YOU'RE ONE OF THEM--
>> RIGHT. >> Stephen: DO YOU THINK THAT
YOU WERE BEING UNFAIR? >> NO. >> Stephen: TO THEM. >> NO. >> Stephen: NO. >> NO. >> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU WONDER
SOMETIMES-- PLAWZ YOU YOU DO THIS WORK EVERY DAY AND YOU GO,
"ARE THEY REAL AS VENAL AS THEY LOOK?"
>> I MAKE FUN-- IF YOU LOOK AT IT, GO BACK, I MAKE FUN OF THE
PEOPLE WHO DESERVED IT. NEWT GINGRICH. I MADE FUN OF RUSH LIMBAUGH,
BILL O'REILLY AT FOX, LYING LIARS --
>> Stephen: WHO IS THAT? >> HE USED TO BE AT FOX NEWS. >> Stephen: I HAVE NO MEMORY. ( LAUGHTER ). >> EXWAW, HE AND FOX SUED ME. AND IT WAS JUST A
MISUNDERSTANDING. >> Stephen: OKAY. >> BILL O'REILLY DIDN'T
UNDERSTAND THAT SATIRE IS PROTECTED SPEECH IN THE UNITED
STATES, EVEN IF THE OBJECT OF THE SATIRE DOESN'T GET IT. ( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE ) <i>( CHEERS )
>> Stephen: THANK GOD!</i> >> THERE WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING. >> Stephen: THANK GOD. GOOD TO KNOW. WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK
RIGHT HERE.
