Sean Lock Destroys A Heckler | BEST OF Purple Van Man | Universal Comedy

another thing right also i want to live in a world we're not allowed to advertise to children no advertising the kids it's not on people come into my home uninvited through the medium of television and they wave shiny in my kids faces right but it's not fair we can defend ourselves against advertising we can make judgments choices and decisions children can't do that they can't do that because they're idiots they're morons they're thick as pig have you put a picture of shrek on a bag of gravel they want it if all advertising was door-to-door if you could only advertise door-to-door you wouldn't tolerate it someone knocked on your door you have the doormat can i speak to your seven-year-old daughter please bring her out and he bends down ignores you and goes look it's a my pretty polly pocket mini vanity release set and that spins around that opens up and messages in there you click carrots and play with your friends after a while you go off sorry daddy said it again isn't he [Music] still you hear it at school soon enough or they will because you never think you're the source do you it'd be great if all advertising was done to all today i'd love that especially when celebrities did adverts could that be great wouldn't it be walking across your hallway the letterbox would flip open and you'd hear a voice going hello it's sir chris hoy here before i go cycling i like a bowl of brown flakes ah christmas hello it's a chris boy here for algo cycling i like a pool of brown flakes oh kill me now and he'd bump into other celebrities on the street oh hello kira hello chris hi it's kira knightley here from the films yes i didn't think i needed the money either anyway i'm wearing a really tight cat suit and when i walk away i'd like you to look at my ass and think about coco chanel yeah it's really subtle it's my arse and perfume oh who's this hello hello ray hello kira it's ray winstone here put a bet on you slag [Music] there's loads of markets in play now oh who's that coming along the street oh it's david beckham hello ray man of a thousand voices hello david beckham here um everything under the sun all of it hats flannels spanners trousers motorbikes just buy all right i've been touring for a while now shows have gone pretty well there's only one place i won't go back to that's guildford not going back to guildford that's a terrible blues song isn't it i'm not going back to guildford i don't know it isn't guilford i don't think they just they just don't like laughing they don't if you smile at someone in guilford they look at you like got mental health issues you go hello they go oh what's the matter with you basically they stared at me like they were looking out the windows of a bus replacement service you've never seen anyone smiling at the bus replacement service do you okay this is brilliant much better than the train because you visit so many different villages it looked like my dad looked when he found out what his pension was worth and to be fair to them it was the week that uh margaret thatcher died and they're quite fond of her in those parts and a couple of things that i said a couple of the comments that i made might not have gone down in the spirit they were intended all i said was all i said was well hey that was it that was all i said that was it i just went like i did have a party i didn't have a party well you wouldn't call it a party it was drinks nibbles a few friends you know police were called once that's not a party and i have to mention a fitting tribute to her was when they cremated her would be great if they ran out of coal that was all i believe i think there's a lack of banter in the home in the domestic environment you know sometimes i'll say to my wife something like how long do you think we could all live if we only eat toffee apples no just putting it out there and she'll roll her eyes and carry on doing something worthwhile was in the pub you get 20 minutes out of that it's a bloody good question sean you've got the vitamin you've got the fiber from the apple you've got the energy glucose and the toffee i wanted to stick pound up into a paste makes a carb we had a great one there today we were talking about what's the filthiest teaspoon you've ever seen oh what a night let's have a look in it was brilliant at what point does a lagertop become a shandy [Music] who would you rather share a sleeping bag with as we did the other day who would you you've got a choice you're right one night in this evening i got ronnie wood from the rolling stones or jeremy vine from bbc radio 2 ronnie wood for one or jeremy vine any takers on this one actually a lot better response than the one my wife had i asked her she turned her back to me walked over looked out of a window and her shoulders went and she muttered something about i suppose we've got kids and it's better actually the right answer people who said jeremy vine that's the correct answer you know a lot of people choose ronnie they think ronnie's a bit of a character they're all the anecdotes and the character of course what they're forgetting is just how bony ronnie is every part of ronnie has a sharp jaggedy pointy edge his ass is like a piece of flint naked ronnie looks like a box of kfc when you're throwing the bones back in he's held together a bit of chicken skin money would and he'll be shaking because he's giving up the pills and the booze yeah i've thought about this stuff yeah whereas jeremy vine tedious bastard dull boring pointless man like a warm column of pissy air but you get the feeling when he shuts his eyes eight hours straight through no bother people say to me why are you having a good jeremy vine i say because i hate him seems good reason enough i do i don't like jeremy if i tell you why because you know he does that radio 2 show and they have these they're these debates on radio 2. we're going to have a debates today and they're not debates they're just they're just ways to wind the country up make the country an unhappier angrier place don't they yeah what i think that was that sounded like 8th century norse it's jeremy vine i just realised it's jeremy vine he's dressed up as a drunken old mad cockney sneaking i've heard about this routine i'll have a couple of super tenants [Applause] i won't say anything he can pick up on because you know then you'll just disappear into the fog like jack the ripper [Music] um yeah you know the debate you have their debates on the show and they don't they just make the country an unhappier place but it just winds people up it tracks nutters to phone in like they have a debate they say today we're talking about sex education some people say it happens too soon other people say it doesn't happen soon enough are they right should we have sex education in nurseries play groups should teddy bears have genitals and there'd be someone having going what teddy bears with no they're gonna put gogs on the teddy bears and they pick weird subjects to have a debate about like they'll pick something like you know there was one there was this this burglar who'd objected and caught to being called a coward the prosecution called him a coward he said i'm not a coward so they started discussing it saying well is it is he right our burglar's brave should we admire them are they are they just entrepreneurs there's people going and sometimes they do this trick where they leave a detail out to make a little bomb go off in your head like um who's to blame for we're talking about the obesity crisis who's to blame is it the government is it the nhs is it the food industry and they know loads of people at home going he doesn't mention the fat people yeah today we're talking about binge drinking why do you do it are you sad lonely depressed do you have low self-esteem do you need alcohol to enjoy social situations and that's how i burp my ear [Applause] you

Channel: Universal Comedy

Views: 1,706,831

Keywords: Comedy, Universal Comedy, Universal, Stand Up, Stand Up Comedy, Comedian, Stand Up Comedian, sean lock stand up, sean lock best bits, sean lock carrot in a box, sean lock purple van man reddit, sean lock stand up purple van man, sean lock 8 out of 10 cats, sean lock 8 out of 10 cats does countdown best bits, sean lock 8 out of 10 cats does countdown, sean lock heckler, heckler, comedian destroys heckler

Id: 8Sv6afYIVUU

Length: 11min 21sec (681 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 20 2020