SCTV on CBC circa 1981

late night movie magic Fridays on theatre nine [Music] [Music] sorry [Music] with tonight's special musical guest ruff ray it's this [Music] [Music] 50th Anita's hits from remember [Music] on the same album [Music] yeah [Music] you'll also hear my nan guitar let's have a party at my rec room we put the pennies in my loafers and in the classroom [Music] the world song meet us guys it's Kate guys find me guys Lena's hip [Music] good evening ladies and gentleman I'm guy Caballero owner and president of the sctv Network well tonight's pledge night here at SC TV and we're hoping you'll pledge lots of money to our network now some of you at all might be saying to yourselves but I thought SCTV was a commercial network hey well it is but just because it's commercial doesn't mean we're making money now you people out there I'll be honest with you if you want to see good programming you're just gonna have to kick in and help pay for it you know these programs we watch here aren't cheap believe me so why don't you just do your duty and pledge money lots of money you'll help keep Vesey TV in the black and you'll continue to enjoy fine shows shows like this one coming up I'm Brenda Vaccaro now that just speak to you about something means a great deal to me mm-hmm protection feminine protection and I like that mm-hmm personally I need something that I can come that was terrific just one sec who's unsound can we do something about that breathing she sounds like a seal in heat built around ever something hmm okay let's take two dear Brenda Vaccaro take two [Music] am i doing George Herman please cut the breathing out she sounds like a moose with sinus problems okay Brenda honey try to get Thank You Brenda Vaccaro take three I'm Brenda Vaccaro I'd like to speak to you about something that means a great deal to me protection feminine protection and I like that personally I need to be happy for something that only a woman can appreciate something gentle that effective even when I'm swimming horseback riding playing tennis or hunting so if you're obsessed with feminine gentleness that only a feminine woman can know about what I'm talking about right now then you'll understand why I personally endorse friends gen FEM protect these bonds the product that only one we can know about [Music] Brens gem femme protectees pause hi folks guy kappa lee arrow again well so far this evening those phones have been remarkably silent well maybe you just don't care about us see TV maybe you don't care about fine quality programming alright then I'm going to give you a little taste of the kind of programs you'll be seeing on SCTV if we soon all start getting some pledge money in here come on boys roll that footage take a look at this when he counts on the ball no really is he here and everywhere in this game that's right soccer hours and hours of soccer is that what you want yeah I knew those phones that started ringing nothing more boring than watching Manchester versus lever poor poppy boat a bouncing balls off his head you collect money coming in and we can get you some good sport Jose Jose like NFL football we might even talk to Commissioner Pete Rozelle broadcast a Super Bowl this season that'd be great all you got to do is pledge the money and while you're doing that here to tell you about some of the premiums you'll be receiving with your donations is our public relations director Maureen Wallace thank you guy this week we're offering free with every donation at or the SVG's to do with me is mr. Ralph Gallo and it's lovely white Portland the gorgeous Graham sisters they've all contributed they're all coming on the tour so why don't you come along with us on the tour for a while and you'll get a chance to see what you may be seeing if you come up with the cash yeah we're about to take a tour through the SC TV studios what's the cause oh whatever you can contribute well here's a dollar store we'll take the road trip see how easy it is to become an empty TV subscriber let's get started on the tour now all right come this way this is supposed to be open you know they dance to me all the time I'm prepared this turns me back up [Music] Ronna barren as gene shallots Gaston critic special coming up on SCTV when the kids get ready to move out doors your best move is to Zellers we're outfitting the kids for spring is a breeze this week girls coats with nylon linings and Canadian myth coats are just 1997 these infants least walk sensor just 1097 for windy spring days grab them in wear dated hooded bomber jackets just 897 and warm lightweight jackets for boys and girls are just 997 so if your kids are moving outdoors get moving the sellers sellers only you'll know how little you paid come on along with Via Rail Canada on a mini holiday to your favorite Canadian City Dino shop around and see the sights go on your own or take one of these exciting getaway packages all of them price to give you a break call your travel agent [Music] got you in beauty in everything that we do [Music] we do [Music] welcome back this is pledge week at SCTV I'm Bobby Bittman and let me tell you what a thrill it is for me to be here down at the studios tonight with all these marvelous people and talking to you about this marvelous cars you know money that's what it's all about folks that's the name of the game that's the name of that dune money we need your play you know as an entertainer I'm very aware of what it takes to put on a TV show there's all sorts of production costs that you people at home you just don't know about there's there's a above the line and below the line I don't want to bore you with it salaries salaries have to be paid for performers like myself that's that eats up a lot so get on the phone pick up a Farha it's can't it's not hard you pick I'll show you it's so easy you pick up a half hello I'd like to make a pledge I'd like to pledge some money Oh about five dollars what what do I get for my money you say well you could get a copy of the total filmmaker by Bobby Beckman can which camera can we get a close-up on this camera to the total filmmaker Bob arts very good reading from what I hear this is goods hardcover 20 bucks made me a lot of money you get it for five bucks it's a good deal so pick up a phone it's so easy folks let's go back and see what's happening on the phones right now listen you know as an extra bonus for that five bucks you get to come down you get to participate in the actual production of a TV show yourself because you'll be on the phones like these people pick it up they're not gonna wait forever that phone rings you pick it up so you see it's gonna be a real treat for you to come down he'll be on the side of the camera wait a second who called him an animal who called him an animal well the Elephant Man came down here of his own time to help us out here at SCTV and I is a comic in all seriousness resent the kind of abuse that he has to take on the bar right he wasn't blessed before coming in here for I usually don't come on the camera but I have to to say hi to my buddy Bobby Pittman PACS burg ladies and gentlemen runs the cafeteria at sctv i don't know if you can tell any words don't do that don't do that we're gonna take it in here now come on down its place we give us a call come on down take it well there you have it folks that's so easy its money its money is this service but it's money folks that's all it is pick up a phone we need your pledge because if you want to see the fine programming that you're used to seeing here at SCTV it doesn't come free money makes the studio go around this duty of all it takes money so pick up a phone give us a call and and what we got is that and let's see another tours in here come on come on the tour get out phone and some money this Thursday at 9:00 gene Shalit America's critic at large in his first variety special [Music] beautiful day labor could you be mine Kajal the gene Shalit critic special with special guest critic Roger Ebert and Gene Siskel Jeepers Creepers [Music] well I think we find ourselves both agreeing and disagreeing right Roger so far I find the show to be pretty fast moving and very well paced well I have to disagree with you there I think the show moves at a snail's pace but one thing we both agree on is the lackluster performance of its star right Roger [Music] it almost makes the day begins [Music] special guest star the first lady of critiques miss Rona Barrett gee I can't tell you what a thrill it is to have you on my first movie special Jean there's a definite dichotomy of emotions coming into play here on the one hand I'm thrilled as a journalist to be able to perform but at the same time embarrassed to be performing with a critic who should never have gotten out from behind his smith-corona mr. president the Saudi ambassador will be here in an hour and the Israeli ambassador refuses to sit beside him well there he goes again double the oil in the salad dressing he'll get the message well there she goes again yes don't forget to watch me shower with Rona Barrett Roger Ebert and Jean it's America's best-loved critics after a survey been it's a great hour of prime access television Shalit joins as a mainstay of the job but by golly gets poultry support from a mediocre backup team of second-rate on chair critics whose music comedic talents ran the gamut from a to sweet sourdough bread Thanks [Music] don't miss the gene Shalit Critic special if you can't Panem cue einem [Applause] a gene Shalit pretty special Thursday night a sign on SCTV take this lovely pistol and kill myself short story Playhouse presents oh Henry later tonight on SCTV how does the past and into a thousand tomorrow's comes a car with the right stuff the new Toyota Celica aerodynamically designed for total performance this sweet wedge-shaped sheets the wind its rack and pinion steering conquers the road it's the new silicon the right stuff for the right time right now Selita hi my name is Lex makrand all and I'm president of the Rotary Club of Windsor this is Corey on Windsor's Timmy for the 1982 Easter Seals campaign as a Rotarian I've come to know quite a bit about Corey for instance I know that he really enjoys playing pool right Corey yes sir that's good so Corey I'd like to give you this it's a queue for Easter Seals who receives Easter Seals Corey everybody does that's right and we just want everybody in the Windsor area to please use them send in your donations so that disabled kids like Corey can make a better go at life both of us know that Windsor is the most giving city in the world and we know you'll give this cue your best shot say Corey who's a better player you are your dad I am you are please won't you contribute to one of our most cherished causes our disabled children thank you playoff bowling action continues this Sunday morning at 10:30 here on TV 9 last week Lloyd Clark when his quarterfinal match against Bob Kitely to advance to semifinals lay in this week's semi-final he'll meet number 2 seed and runner-up in last year's classic Wayne that dumb that's Sunday morning at 10:30 here on TV 9 for semi-final action in the Molson masters bowling class break just give us one second that was good ok welcome to the great white north I'm Bob McKenzie that's my brother Doug I already said my line I heard ok today's topic is difference between need Canadian football and American football ok cuz like we got lots of people sending letters asking us about the great white north football league okay first of all the main difference is like they don't play Monday night right cuz like you seen on TV like Monday Night Football that's that's American football Monday night okay to do with the weekend great white north football is always played on Sundays when there's fog okay the other difference is that there's like okay well some bacon my mother okay no it was an accident the other big difference is okay you know downs okay like you know how first and ten right second and five what I'm just checking to see if more stuff is shooting out though no okay in in Canadian football what there's still some okay go ahead sorry okay there's only three downs in cane football and five in America for four in Canadian and five for in Canadian and five in America okay we're at a time with low the whistle game over good day she is a real clever we must have stayed up all night no he just so I like to prepare a hot meal every day so people like some neat you know oh yes it is Elephant Man and it was used in Polynesian cafeteria in the Elephant Man over here we're to go to camp until you have something to eat come on this swing I'll tell you something off the cafeteria my favorite part is GTV and if you take a whip you'll know why that's fresh cookie vegetable soup simmer and all day long only 40 cents of all now if you look at this menu you'll see we got a whole assortment of sandwiches if you got a big appetite and I know the Elephant Man will back me up on this one give the crew special only two bucks a terrific assortment I am and lettuce tomato and cheese don't do that get your hand off of that I just hey man I don't want any trouble here that's a cafeteria not a boxing ring [Applause] watch it will you I got a shepherd's pie back there [Music] too much I can't do all this I gotta eat everything here give me your ball so the only things that you really want to pick up you I said carry her to the airport and fly and live happy is what I was hoping you it's a job Lola Henderson ladies and gentlemen doing a dramatic reading from Neil Simon's the out-of-towners oh boy that was scary tell me something Lola do you usually read the whole play like that well I find that I perform the final speech much better if I do the entire play to lead into it oh well that was blood-curdling I'll tell you boy I'll tell you something it took up three-quarters of the plain shuffle I guess the people out there are so scared they forgot to respond in their pledges cuz the phones are awfully quiet back there nothing's ringing no actually I've got a challenge a challenge the first male who calls ed be he any racer color if he makes a $5,000 donation I personally will bear his child that's a challenge to every red-blooded male in the company oh maybe this is something lucky guy is gonna get a chance to roll around in there thank you [Music] I love you you do so what are you look like let's go in everything I'm I'm sure you have a very nice personality [Music] [Music] hello my little trailer [Music] beautiful good afternoon welcome all of you to you and thank you all very much for your response to yesterday's show on bikini waxing we're gonna give you the phone number to Lina the best bikini waxer in town five months not a single hair grew back I was a poodle when I went in there done in Acapulco not a single hair anyway I'm repeating myself call Lina five five five five five five five call her she's a doll you won't be sorry anyway a couple of notes on next week's show next week all week nails and lashes Trina for Mary Nietzsche does me she's coming here she's great she's the best one there back they said to a Trina why don't you open your own place she said what for look at Mary Nietzsche she opened her own place had a kid now she won't do a nail Laura lash so what if I want to have a kid I said oh please please I got enough problems anyway enough of that today we have got a show for you dr. Saul Rubin psychiatrist is with us to talk about a problem that affects so many of us women today women's problems good afternoon dr. Rubin welcome all right let's get right to it oh how are you very good what in your mind today is the biggest problem that women face today well Libya as you know women face a wide range of problems and have right through time our mothers and our mothers mothers all suffered a wide variety of problems certainly indigenous to women but I think we're correct and focusing in on the woman's problem the woman in the 80s the woman who is saying hey I'm aware that I'm living in a man's world I am prepared to cope with it but I want to change it what about wait how does weight fit in weight as a woman's problem you see a lot of women who are fat well I have a lot of patients who are women and many of whom suffer similar patterns of compulsive behavior some are overweight and some are anorexic I would kill to be anorexic for one week can I tell you that anyway continue well I why can I not stop eating you're a doctor you should know if there were a role here I would have eaten it is that not sick well I understand your problem I think many people have similar problems but I believe you're a healthy woman I mean you burn a lot of energy through your career is that bad you don't think I'm too fat well I know I wouldn't really say I'm sorry continued women's problems well I was I was just going to talk about the fact that the feminist movement had somewhat caused a backlash and that men had actually keep doing what no that's kind of a just a nervous habit of mine I think oh I am sorry we are out of time dr. Rubin what can I say you are fantastic this has been so enlightening thank you so much dr. Rubin and thank you for watching next week nails and lashes please be here and remember you are so beautiful-beautiful to me [Music] stay tuned for Rough Trade on preteen world next on SCTV nose Canadian tires theme plays for torture cell for mechanics but it's also the place for door mature cell furs if you do it yourself Canadian Tire has all the parts you'll need if you don't eat yourself Canadian tires Auto Service Center has expert mechanic solder to nuts install brakes shocks and more so you have time for more important things it's Canadian Tire for those who do and those who don't there's a lot more to Canadian Tire then tires introducing the SJ 410 the surprise package from Suzuki it's full of surprises like powerful four-wheel drive maneuverability and surprisingly good fuel economy 33 miles per gallon combined highway and city and rugged good looks one of the nicest surprises is its hill flattening power it'll cry just about anything in just about any weather the best surprise is the price surprisingly low Suzuki SJ 410 the surprise package Wednesday on the nature of things the asteroid in the dinosaur great asteroid that extinguished the dinosaurs actually may have farmed and produced Iceland then Thursday night search for stars join Fred Davis Arlene Duncan Brian Makai and Maureen Duncan for the fifth annual search for stars an impressive hour of entertainment with six of Canada's newest faces the nature of things Wednesday and search for stars Thursday on CBC [Music] do [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hi welcome to preteen world I'm Alexis Shannon I'm Stefan Seeley today we have a really decent show with some really neat surprises as well as the usual stuff who's our special guest to fund as if you didn't know Alexis today on rock rap we're gonna talk to a Toronto band called Rough Trade they're gonna tell us all about music playing in bars and traveling all over the place without their parents accident now here's Glenn Millbury with some letters to preteen world Glenn thanks Alexis thanks Maddie here's a letter from Darren wait of Claire Butte he writes dear PT world your show is so neat even I watch it I was one I was I was wondering do you all have grandparents because my grandma is is moving in with us and I have to sleep in the rec room and and how do you guys get on TV cuz I could be - thanks Darren they edition over 500 kids for preteen world and we got picked so it isn't easy to get on peaty world like we did I don't know about the rest but my grandmother is it an agent in Los Angeles and I have my own room and everything [Music] hi welcome to rock rap we'd like to welcome our special guest Rough Trade can you please introduce yourself I'm Carole Pope I'm Terry Wogan i'm kevin staples i'm bucky burger I'm David McMorrow with Paul Rennie do you know blondie no question go ahead to the whole band my friend Paul and I are in a band now we're we hope to be professional musicians one day and we'd like to further our musical education and the question is do you prefer say a community college and what they have as opposed to like a university with with all they got is it which is good or good question I have a question my name is Matty Wallace and I have a question early for Bucky hi Colleen you like to stay up at night ooh that's a tough one usually as late as room service I have a question for David how do you think I am 15 okay I have a question in the underground it's two-parter by the way in the underground pop world which is better bondage or humiliation humiliation okay part two is do any of the people in the group have their red cross wing yeah just me I have a question Steve Applebaum I wondered you know how most groups have well like Moody Blues were Moody Blues but before that they were the Moody Blues for Rough Trade do you hate when people call you the Rough Trade no that's not for rock rap now rough trades going to do song for High School Confidential okay is if you don't already know here's rough trade with high school confidential [Applause] [Music] down [Music] [ __ ] [Music] ha [Music] [Applause] well our thanks to Rough Trade and that's all the time we've got for preteen world so until next week this is Stefan Seeley and genexus Shannon saying good night and this is f c-- TV but network with a bunch of the happy homeowner with michael c hammer if you've ever built a countertop and put plastic laminate on the top of it or maybe even built a serving tray and covered it with plastic laminate you know how difficult it is to cut it without getting any chipping along the edge there is a way first of all if you're using a portable electric saw one of those portable circular saws or an electric jig saw you know that they cut in an upward motion so turn the plastic laminate over and cut so that any chipping that takes place takes place on the back now if you're using a table saw or a radial arm saw put plastic laminate with a color side up because they cut downwards and again any chipping that takes place will take place on the back and you should have a nice clean smooth cut there is another way after you've marked off the plastic laminate to the desired dimension put a square on it then use either a very sharp scratch awl or a wallboard knife and make several passes across the surface of the plastic laminate now you may have to make four or five but once you've scratched that surface you simply turn it sideways and break it off and that does a nice neat job the happy homeowner is a community service presentation of tv9 how many of Jupiter's satellites are larger Linda Patil very far no I'll complete the question for you sandwich larger than the planet Mercury Kellan five no it is to what football team did Oh Jay Simpson play for him you're invited to join us Saturday at 7:00 when students from Tilbury district high school and the sandwich secondary school matched their knowledge and skills of instant recall on reach forth atop a tea is right [Music] [Applause] [Music] what's your line come on miss you're lying help me help me I'm a fly a fly that's your line what what pacing hey what are you method or one of those cheap oil or schooling school of actors what kind of actor are you we were expecting an actor rehearsal for 3d house two flies oh we mean hey I can't believe this obvious mistake and we're oh and we did this stuff over go with a 3d look on your eyes oh I got it I gotta tell somebody they must be after a friend wrong [Music] [Music] hello I'm you betcha and welcome to short story Playhouse tonight we're going to be presenting one of the most famous of all short story writers oh Henry yes Warren William Sydney Porter in 1862 oh Henry wrote hundreds of short stories over his lifetime and earned the reputation of a master storyteller and a master he was or you see his short stories had one distinctive characteristic the surprise ending yes mention the name oh Henry to most people and well after the usual wisecrack about the candy bar there'll undoubtedly say the surprise or twist ending now tonight we're going to be looking at one of our Henry's lesser-known short stories however it's not one without genius it's entitled the private booth why don't we take a look at it [Music] Alex key catch was a very successful man vide was also very lonely every night for the past three years he would dine by himself in a private booth at the same restaurant but tonight would be different for he no longer cared for fools out and he no longer cared for six toasts and so disguising his sadness with joviality he informed the young waiter that he would no longer be requiring his private booth after I finished this fine bottle of brandy take this lovely pistol and kill myself I'm sorry I fish I shocked you here allow me you know if you need one please please thank you sir there we go yes all the way you need it off I'll have one with you now so if I might make a suggestion yes go ahead I I wouldn't I wouldn't do that here I mean well I mean after all this is a private club yes yes and I will be private very private no that's a Gretchen you arrogant aristocratic bourgeois swine how dare you got so bloody much to be grateful about with all your experiences and all your breadth of knowledge and life and education and I I was raised in a family of miners eleven of us 11 of us digging in the dirt from the age of five on and we had nothing and this this is a wooden leg of the coffee and an axe I didn't mind feel it a wooden leg you want to kill yourself I serve either one to kill myself I've got so much to be sorry about you want to kill yourself go and do it do it Carly aren't ya well I'll do it you're not worth it yeah you're rich yeah dog [Music] do go Wellington [Music] Oh Oh all the stupid devices I can't believe that boy talk about our reach boy that certainly wasn't one of Oh Henry's better works I'll tell you that cheap device Ally and what why don't we find out a little bit more about that short story well here we are Oh Henry's life yes a lion walked into a booth I can't believe that certainly must have been oh here we are the private booth was one of our Henry's last published works why don't we find out more about this story let's take a trip back in time and find out about the story and the man [Music] great surprises the hell's wrong with Lyon it's a good good ending it's a surprise it's not like you remember where it says it oh it's not like my other work maybe I'm going through hey go change yes thank you I can no longer know I can write report I can write I haven't lost it a lion is a good ending a good ending it's a finish I'd better see your career it's not a finish maybe I could rewrite it you can't I mean I'm taking this where they'll be appreciated reading right here's the surprise a lion comes in and eats a young waiter alliance yes [Laughter] certainly was a surprise it's not my place but a line at the bloody worst ending of ever come on you can do better than that please at least you're not hard up for ending scenes where you know you old socks you know nothing hey man [Music] and so in comes the lion with this thing well what did you think I like it you like it I like it the lion the lion you like the large like the lion Oh mr. audience I got kitchen or Vale Vale you're such a writer look at this look at all these books you put object publishing on the map and now this I tried I knew you'd understand it mr. Nick always on time for a deadline always with the books and the things I try listen to me let me make a an idea to you that might help if I were to tell to you the idea suggestion right go ahead mr. Rhodey okay now your judge here bill page to the suicide you don't need it you've got the lion you've got the lion here it's beautiful furry and cuddly and legs it bring it a tiger and a monkey and a doggie running through a field of wheat Rose you're a ball mister agnia daddy what you missed the point Lestrade Nick the suicide the lion that was the surprise ending don't you get it it's a surprise ending Rison didn't it surprise you oh yeah missed the point you don't get anything told Nick you're a fool nobody calls on you come for my hat broke my head that publisher was a [ __ ] you know what surprise endings on the penitentiary they could appreciate a good surprise ending and a lion fine surprise ending not one of my greatest but good ending speaking anding I should do myself in [Music] well poor old O'Henry done in by a lion in real life well that just goes to show you that art and life or sometimes identical the only problem is no matter how identical they are that was still a stupid idea for an ending for a short story well I'll leave you with this message keep your short stories believable or you might end up being eaten by a lion until next week this is you bet you're saying good night [Music] it takes them four [Music] good Gina yeah that nice I got a good feeling well this is my section of the page well he's wrong with you people why don't you call are you mad are you so you think and her want to hurt me like that why okay this is what's going to happen I'll in a tank right now declare a curse upon people who do not hold and sending their money so that you will be so ugly there you will have to put a bag over your head please I don't think that's the way to get our viewers to subscribe to the network you'll have to excuse mr. tang ladies and gentlemen he gets a little overzealous when it comes to keeping SCTV on the air it's a matter with you putting a curse on our viewing audience I'm so sorry I mean misty please forgive me hello ladies and gentlemen he is right about one thing though and those phones haven't been ringing and something bad might just happen to you indeed all right what is that [Music] [Music] got on the cafeteria he bumped me and spilled my cool shut up how long man's a human being you just can't pull his mask off against as well I've always been a defender of human rights and if he doesn't want to take his mask off he doesn't have to you want to take it off there you happy that's that he doesn't take it off even though I seeing his face might boost the ratings here and put the CTV in the black I think he's right he's not gonna take his mask off if he did Lin take his mask off very well time to see your face my friend oh look how cute he is little toes they're really going down yeah thank you I just from billionaire Becky Hunt says happy endings and cute elephants are right up his alley he's donating $100,000 icgv is over the hump [Music] [Applause] [Music] ladies and gentlemen we got what we wanted you got another week of flying programming so good night and thanks for the vote of confidence good night everybody [Applause] guy well maybe this one oh yeah sticky fingers a new guy look you did a fine job dump him out of thousands of dollars yeah we did it work yeah it sure did no Alvin its bill needle a critic come on [Music]

Channel: Gary Flinn

Views: 99,857

Keywords: SCTV, comedy, classic tv

Id: ZcZwzVLsBsg

Length: 58min 56sec (3536 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 16 2017