Warning lights flash, and heavy boots stomp
down the sanitized hallways of Site-19. A Mobile Task Force has been dispatched, wielding
heavy weaponry and wearing tactical gear. But underneath their jet-black armor, these
Mobile Task Operatives are sweating. The SCP they’re after has a very particular
set of skills, skills that make them a nightmare to people like this team. Plainly put, anything that the Mobile Task
Force can do, the anomaly can do better - Because the anomaly that chose to breach containment
is SCP-056, codenamed A Beautiful Person. This shape-shifting being takes the form of
a superior version of whatever object or entity it encounters, though typically only by a
relatively slim margin. The Foundation has no real way of truly “containing”
SCP-056, because of the unique nature of its anomalous abilities. Instead, their tactic has long been playing
to the truly toxic ego of the creature - Designing the containment chamber more like a luxury
hotel room, perfectly suited to 056’s refined taste. However, as a sentient being with a mean streak,
keeping an entity like 056 permanently caged is rarely as simple as sprucing up said cage. Some days, like today, 056 will want a change
of scenery - And on those days, there’s almost nothing the Foundation can do to stop
it. As the Mobile Task Forces dispatched to Site-19
scan the halls and spool through security footage, desperately hoping to find some clue
as to the vain creature’s presence, 056 is actually long gone. Having assumed the form of a handsome, charming
scientist after an average-looking scientist with bad social skills walked past its containment
chamber, 056 had slipped out of the site undetected before anyone even realized that a breach
had occurred. Then, seeing a vulture fly overhead, 056 had
taken the form of a Bald Eagle and flown further, leaving the isolated Site-19 in the dust. 056 is ready and eager for a night on the
town, but when 056 decides it’s going to paint the town red, it doesn’t always mean
it in the metaphorical sense. 056 arrives in a small American town, like
many that pop up along lonely desert highways. Noticing a plain, unremarkable woman walking
past, it immediately transforms into an absolute stunner, with fine diamond jewelry and an
expensive-looking red dress. As she walks to a local diner, she turns heads
from everyone she passes, doing nothing to hide her conceited smirk. “I really should do this more often,”
she thinks. When she passes a self-conscious-looking woman
with a fake Gucci handbag, 056 suddenly manifests the real deal, brimming with stacks of cash
and even more jewelry. Everywhere she goes, her mere presence makes
people feel terrible about themselves, and she couldn’t be happier. She walks into a local diner, where a report
on the radio is detailing abandoned, wrecked cars found along the side of a local highway. There were bodies inside in horrific states
- So horrific that they couldn’t even share the details on the broadcast. But 056 doesn’t care about any of that. She simply orders some pancakes in the diner
and rudely asks the cashier if he can break a hundred-dollar bill. When she receives her pancakes, she takes
a single bite before throwing them at the wall and complaining about how terrible they
are, then leaving. She takes joy in knowing how awful this will
make people feel. On the way out, she decides to take a shortcut
down a dark alley - Where a woman in expensive clothes carrying an expensive purse brimming
with money is liable to attract the wrong kind of attention. Two muggers, one armed with a switchblade
and the other armed with a gun, emerge from the darkness, wearing malicious grins. “That purse looks a little heavy there,
lady,” one of the muggers says. “Yeah, how about you let us carry it for
you?” the other adds. 056 smiles and says, “Are you sure you have
the upper body strength?” They don’t take kindly to this. As the two muggers prepare to beat this strange
woman within an inch of her life and steal all her earthly belongings, she suddenly transforms
- Shapeshifting into a ripped Kung Fu master in white robes. Before either of the muggers can respond to
this baffling transformation, 056, in his Kung Fu master form, is beating the living
hell out of them and leaving the dastardly duo in a crumpled heap on the floor as he
walks away, whistling a merry tune. But making women feel inadequate, insulting
small businesses, and beating up petty criminals isn’t enough for SCP-056. This thoroughly unpleasant anomaly has the
need for speed, and the best way to achieve that need is to obtain a car - or perhaps,
even better, become one. Not long after the thought passed his mind,
056 arrives at a parking lot. He looks over the various parked cars, most
of which are unremarkable specimens. That is, until he comes across a parked Ferrari,
and feels his imagination begin to soar with possibilities. “A Ferrari? Oh, I can do better than that.” In the following moments, SCP-056 flawlessly
shapeshifts into a brand new, cherry red Bugatti sports car, and starts doing gleeful donuts
in the parking lot. 056 then put the pedal to the metal and sped
out onto the road, where it could pick up some real speed. Having no idea that, for once, it would attract
some attention it didn’t want. But 056 doesn’t care about that yet. It’s too focused on breaking its speedometer
with sheer, insane speed, tearing down the highway at over a hundred miles an hour, then
building, and building, and building. 056 is lucky that there are seemingly no other
cars on the road tonight - Well, except one that it notices far in the distance behind
itself. Is that... a beat-up old police cruiser? How embarrassing. 056 speeds up even more, hoping to leave the
police cruiser as little more than a distant memory. But it doesn’t work out that way. Instead, the beat-up police cruiser miles
behind 056’s sleek supercar begins to build in speed. Little by little, it seems to be doing the
impossible: Catching up. Being a thoroughly arrogant and unpleasant
anomaly, 056 doesn’t take the prospect of being humiliated lightly. It decides to take a sharp left turn off of
the highway onto a mostly dirty side road, slowing down slightly, as though to challenge
the police cruiser to carry on the chase. The police cruiser accepts the challenge,
and makes the turn after 056 with shocking speed. How is this busted-up old police cruiser keeping
pace with a brand-new anomalous Bugatti? 056 doesn’t understand, but it won’t give
in. It has to keep believing it’s the best,
no matter what. 056 tears off down the road until it reaches
some dense woods with only a single dirt road cutting through the middle. The Bugatti’s wheels kick up mud and dry
leaves, its roaring engine sending the animals of the forest scattering in every direction. And still, the police cruiser follows, its
high beams cutting through the murky gloom of the forest. Suddenly, it goes from eerie silence, save
for the roar of twin engines, to the flashes of red and blue lights and the shrill wail
of the police cruiser’s siren. 056 finds the whole arrangement laughable - It’s escaped
the SCP Foundation before, did some small-town cop really believe he could take 056 down? But what 056 doesn’t know is that it isn’t
being followed by just any small-town cop. It gets a clue to the true horrifying nature
of its pursuer when the Bugatti’s radio crackles into life, and a single phrase begins
endlessly repeating, in a warped, scratchy voice, suffused with static. “Run! Run! Run! Run! Run! Run!” 056 is at a loss. This doesn’t make sense. It shouldn’t be possible for any normal
police cruiser to have this effect. Unless... Before 056 can even finish the thought, the
police cruiser closes the distance in a single, freakish burst of speed. It smashes into the back of the Bugatti and
rams it into a brutal tailspin, sending it skidding off the dirt road and crashing into
the trees, where it flips twice, and comes to rest upside down. Totaled. Its radio still repeats that single warped,
ominous word. “Run! Run! Run! Run!” 056 is stunned as it lays, injured and in
car form, against the cold and unyielding trees of this dark, isolated forest. How was that even possible!? It doesn’t make sense! Is this police cruiser some kind of undercover
tactical vehicle in league with those worthless worms at the SCP Foundation? The police cruiser has ground to a halt on
the dirt road, idling, its lights still cutting through the gloom. The driver’s door, marked with the words
“Protect and Serve”, slides open, and a shadowy figure steps out. 056 can immediately sense an inhuman presence
in its midst. This may look like some doughy, middle-aged
cop with a handlebar mustache, but that’s just a disguise. And if anyone understands disguises, it’s
SCP-056. What 056 doesn’t know is that the entity
about to attack it is, in fact, known to the SCP Foundation, but isn’t aligned with them
in the slightest. They refer to it as SCP-973, codenamed Smokey,
an anomalous police cruiser that contains a terrifying occupant. It’s known as one of the more deadly, mysterious,
and sadistic creatures that the Foundation still hasn’t fully succeeded in containing. Any humans who fall prey to it have a terrifying
demise in store for them, but how would an anomaly fare? We’re about to find out. Smokey, the nightmarish anomalous police officer,
begins walking down the grassy bank towards the overturned Bugatti. His skin is paper-pale. His eyes glow a burning, brimstone red. He clenches his pale, veiny fists, excited
by the thought of the coming violence. This idiot in the sports car really thought
it could get away from him? No one gets away from Smokey. “Exit the vehicle, boy,” Smokey says,
in a crackling southern drawl. “Or I’m gonna rip you out of it.” But Smokey doesn’t wait for an answer. He charges forward and digs his fingers into
the metal of the car, displaying his terrifying superhuman strength. He begins tearing away parts of the car, peeling
back panels of metal like a normal person would peel an orange. He imagines the terror of the person within,
the sweet fruit under all these layers of obstruction. “Gonna get you, boy,” he repeats, voicing
almost shaking with excitement. “Gonna get you, gonna get you. Gonna make you scream. Gonna make you scream like a scared little
piggy...” Then suddenly, the car just vanishes. The chunks of metal he’s holding are gone. Smokey looks around, baffled. He’s done strange and terrible things on
these roads, but this is still a new one, even for him. He looks up and stares into the darkness of
the forest - The car is nowhere to be seen out there. “Where are you, boy?” Smokey rasps. “You think you can run from me?” Smokey hears a subdued scoff coming from behind
the tree in front of him, followed by a tall, dark stranger stepping out into the dim light
of the cruiser’s high beams. It’s SCP-056, but it isn’t taking the
form of a luxury sports car anymore. Now, it’s taking the form of a cinematic
legend: Dirty Harry, as played by Clint Eastwood. The ultimate “shoot first, ask questions
later” cop. “You think I’m running from you, punk?” Harry asked. “Truth is, I was sick of looking at that
ugly mug of yours. Figured I’d take five before I came back
and put a bullet through it.” Smokey growls, his jaw unhinging and extending
into a horrific black hole. “Not exactly disproving my point there,
slick,” Harry chided. Smokey isn’t one for trading barbs. He runs towards Harry with his hands extended,
claws growing out of the tips of his fingers. But Harry knows he’s dealing with a monster
now, and he’s ready to fight back. Quicker than Smokey can even notice, Harry
reaches into a holster in his coat and pulls out his trademark weapon: A 44 Magnum revolver,
one of the most powerful revolvers ever made, and he’s a dead shot with it. Harry draws a bead on Smokey and fires a high-powered
round through the monster’s forehead. Smokey is staggered for a moment, seemingly
almost stunned by the shot, but the effects wear off quickly. Smokey roars and swings for Harry, who dodges
in the nick of time. Smokey’s clawed hand tears through the bark
of a nearby tree. 056 buries a moment of quiet anxiety - It
thinks, “Even for me, this thing is powerful. I need to watch my step.” “You oughta show me some respect, boy,”
Smokey growls. “I’m a man of the law. You have no idea what you’re dealing with.” He swings again and again for Harry, forcing
him further back into the forest. 056 tries its best to maintain that unflappable
Eastwood calm. “Respect is earned, not given, punk,”
Harry says, leveling his Magnum. “You think you’re hot stuff cause you
torture and terrorize? Putting down scum like you is exactly what
I joined the force.” Harry unleashes, emptying the cylinder into
Smokey’s center mass. Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Smokey’s body does the bullet dance as Harry’s
Magnum rounds punch into him like hypersonic metal fists. Smokey digs his feet into the ground and steadies
himself. Harry reaches into his pocket for some spare
rounds, discharges the empty shells from the cylinder, and begins quickly reloading the
revolver. Smokey gives him no quarter. The demonic cop charges forward and grabs
Harry by the lapels of his suit jacket, lifting him off the ground and slamming his back into
a nearby tree. The revolver falls from his hand and clatters
to the forest floor. Smokey has the upper hand now. His grip is ironclad. It seems as though 056, even as Dirty Harry,
won’t be able to escape this one. Smokey presses him against the tree until
056 can feel the bark creaking and his bones beginning to buckle. “Not so talky now, are we, boy?” Smokey snickers. “I’m gonna kill you slow. You’re gonna beg for mercy.” “You’re a good fighter,” 056 said, beginning
to shift. “But I’m better.” Moments later, SCP-056 is no longer Dirty
Harry - Now, he’s John Wick, the movie super-assassin specialized in almost every form of combat. Smokey is briefly confused, and 056 takes
advantage of that. With a few expert strikes to Smokey’s face,
056 is able to wriggle out of his grip and kick Smokey in the chest, creating some distance
between them. “Let’s go. It’s been too long since I’ve had a decent
workout,” 056, as John Wick, says. Smokey reaches for John Wick, but John, drawing
upon his years of combat experience, blocks Smokey’s attack and returns a brutal flurry
of blows to Smokey’s face and chest. Every time Smokey swings with his supernatural
strength, 056 swipes at his arms and uses his momentum against him. While Smokey clearly has the strength advantage,
by the nature of SCP-056’s anomalous ability, this form clearly trounces Smokey in terms
of skill. Part of 056 is afraid, having rarely been
met with this level of resistance. Another part of 056 is exhilarated - Getting
to be better than an entity this formidable is a truly thrilling experience. “You’re really starting to get on my nerves,
boy,” Smokey says, pulling out a nightstick from his police belt. 056 drew a long, titanium combat knife out
of his coat. “Prove it,” he says, assuming a knife-fighting
stance. Smokey swings for 056 with his night stick,
who blocks it with the edge of his blade. What follows is almost a kind of sword fight,
where 056 and Smokey take turns striking and parrying with their respective weapons. 056 cracks his neck, giving a smarmy grin
that only irritated Smokey further. The demonic cop throws his night stick directly
at 056’s face. The arrogant anomaly is able to deflect the
well-aimed stick with his knife, only to realize it was just a distraction from the following
haymaker. Smokey’s fist collides with 056’s cheek
with the force of a runaway car. It knocks him off his feet, taking his legs
out from under him and throwing him to the ground with a mighty thud. And Smokey doesn’t let up. He crouches over the stunned 056 and strikes
him again and again, pounding his clenched fists into 056’s head. If the self-obsessed anomaly had any chance
to speak, it probably would have yelled, “Not the face, not the face!” Unlucky for 056, “mercy” is not a word
in Smokey’s vocabulary. 056 doesn’t have time to transform. With every punch, 056’s body is pounded
deeper into the dirt. He can feel himself losing consciousness under
the flurry of blows. For the first time, he’s truly terrified
about what will happen to him if he passes out. What terrible things will Smokey do to him? Suddenly, floodlights illuminate the forest
from every angle. The hum of helicopters sound from far above. Tactical vehicles surround the forest, manned
by highly trained, highly armed SCP Foundation Mobile Task Forces. Snipers line up their shots on Smokey, preparing
to fire with armor-piercing 50-caliber rounds. Ground troops, armed with assault rifles,
all pour in. As though a magic spell has been cast, Smokey,
along with his cursed cruiser, disappears. All that’s left is a bruised, bloody, and
disoriented SCP-056, still shaking in pain and terror on the ground. It doesn’t take long for 056 to be surrounded
by Foundation personnel, ready to take it back into containment. To even its own surprise, it’s tremendously
relieved. 056, whimpering, says, “I’d like to go
back to my room, please.” Check out the Dr. Bob Patreon and become a
junior researcher today! Now go and watch another entry from the files
of Dr. Bob, like SCP-056 - A Beautiful Person.
