- Does it feel so festive?
Well, it's almost Christmas! But, if that stresses
you out, don't worry. This episode is for you. (upbeat music) Well you guys, it is December
and I'm so excited about it because Christmas is
right around the corner. But there are so many times
that we totally miss out on all the joy and the
festivity of this season because we are stressed to the max. So this episode, I want
to help lower your stress. So I brought Woman's Day
on, and we're gonna show you some really cute gift wrapping options that won't break the bank. I have a couple coming on who used to go into debt for Christmas, and
this is the first Christmas they're doing a Christmas
budget, so we're gonna talk about that, and
Emily Ley is coming on and you are just going to love her. So those are some really
great options, you guys, for lowering stress,
but what I have learned over my 30 years of life
that helps me lower my stress is having boundaries.
Okay? And this season, there's too main areas
of your life I want you to have boundaries. Number one: with your
money. And number two: with your time. So when it comes to your
money, you have to understand a couple of things. You
cannot buy for everyone. And I'm guilty of this,
I'm like, "Oh, the mailman. All 700 people I work with
need something from me. All the cousins, all
the nieces and nephews," like I can just get out
of control so quickly, and a few years ago, Winston and I started talking about it and we're
like, "We're not gonna make everyone happy. Like, we
cannot buy for everyone." And so what that does
is, you figure out, "Okay, who am I gonna buy for?" Which
helps you create a budget. That's something else
we're gonna talk about is making sure you have a
budget. That you are being purposeful with not only
what you're gonna spend, but who you're gonna spend on. So making a list and saying,
"Hey, we're gonna spend this amount for this person," which feels like really weird putting
dollar amounts next to people, but it's what you gotta do to win, people. It's what you gotta
do. So it's really good because it's gonna give
you a limit and a boundary, and also, with your
boundary of your money, you're gonna have to get
creative, because you can't please everyone and
because you're gonna be on a budget, there's going
to be people that might be left out. So I learned to do
something a few years ago. I bake stuff now, like legitimately. I sound like Susie Homemaker
here, but it's true. I make cookies or do
something, and then I write like intentional notes for the people that I'm not gonna just
spend all this money on, because I've learned again
to have that boundary. And even . . . Something Winston
and I did a few years ago to kinda get creative is, we
don't buy each other gifts. And it's just nice 'cause
for me, it kinda just takes the pressure off—and for him— and it's less money to spend
'cause well, we love each other and we know about that. So, again, having boundaries
around your money, but also having boundaries
around your time. So remember, just like with your gifts that you can't give to
everyone, well with your time, you're not gonna be
able to please everyone, and it's really hard
'cause I have some friends and they have like 14 different families they try to go to on Christmas
day and it gets stressful, and you kind of again
lose all your perspective 'cause you're just trying
to make everyone happy. And you have to get to
a point in your life where you're like, "Okay, this is our life, this is our family, and
here's what we have to decide." And it's uncomfortable
if you're gonna make new rules around your
time around Christmas, 'cause some people, their
feelings might be hurt. But communicating that
and just being smart because again, this season,
you don't wanna miss out, and that's something else with your time. Don't be in a rush. Find some easy wins to do with your family. Like
Amelia loves Christmas lights. Like last year, she just became obsessed with Christmas lights.
It was, like, the thing. And so there's a way
we can get to our house where we can cut through
a church parking lot— don't tell anyone, but we do to get to our house faster.
It's like a shortcut versus going along this
long road wrapped around. But the long road has
this fence and they always hang Christmas lights
on the fence, and Amelia, almost every time we're
in the car last year, she was like, "Can we drive
by the Christmas lights?" And we're like, "Oh, four minutes. No, we're just going home."
And then finally one night, I was so glad. Winston was
like, "You know what? Yes, we'll go the long way
around." And I'm telling you, it's so funny, she
talked about it for like the next two weeks. She was like, "Remember when we
saw all those Christmas lights?" And I'm like, it just took four minutes. So that's the great thing
when you have a boundary and you're intentional with your time. You can make some leeway for the things that you really can enjoy, and again, it helps lower the stress.
And so something else that's a quick win that
I loved but it kinda stressed me out last
Christmas—Elf on the Shelf. (piano music) So one thing I am
obsessed with is Christmas and Santa Claus. I love Santa and I know some
of you like don't do Santa and all that, kinda makes
me sad, but it's okay. It's your prerogative,
whatever you wanna do. But in my heart, Santa is real. And so that's what I tell my kids. But I do, I love the magic of everything like Christmas and Santa
Claus. And P.S., we love Jesus and we talk about him too. All the time. Don't worry, guys. But
Santa, there's reindeer food and there's like, you make
cookies and you go see him at the mall, you make
a list, and the beauty of Santa is, he has a
friend from the North Pole that comes to your house and shows up every morning somewhere different. Oh yeah, you parents, you
know what I'm talking about, Elf on the Shelf. Oh, when Amelia was old enough
to actually understand it, I was like, "We are ordering
this and I cannot wait." And it was like this big
presentation, and she named her Sprinkles, and it was fantastic . . . for the first eight mornings. Mm-hmm. Yep, things started
going downhill quick with Sprinkles because this
non-creative over here, I'm like, "I don't know. Like
crap, Sprinkles hasn't moved yet." I'm like, "I don't know where to put her!" Like again, I had like
eight really great ideas. I didn't have like 25,
and so I found myself in the morning sometimes
or at night kinda like stressing and freaking out
because #comparisons, I would see my friends on social media and they like had theirs
like with a little pencil and a string and a
cheerio, and they're like sitting on the toilet,
and they're like fishing. All this like cute, weird, creative stuff. I'm like, "Man, Sprinkles
has been on the chandelier for like a week. She just
loves it there apparently," because I can't think of
anywhere else to put her. But that's the moment
where I realized okay, stop Rachel. It's okay. What
Pinterest and Instagram, all the stuff, you may not
have time for all of that, but you're still doing something fun, and it's something small,
and I had to tell myself, "Don't stress over
something so insignificant like Sprinkles." Even though . . . love her, but stressful. So you guys remember, don't let things that are supposed to be fun
be a point of stress for you. But a point of stress for a lot of people, including myself, can be gift wrapping. Yeah, it can be stressful, so I partnered with Woman's Day to show
you some really cute, easy gift wrapping options
that are inexpensive and really fun to make. So check it out. Guys, let's be real. Being a parent is hard work. Now that I have two daughters of my own, it feels like the to-do list never ends. And as every parent knows,
your priorities change and you have to make important decisions for your child's future. That's why term life insurance is a must for every parent. It's so easy to get, and it's affordable. What you're looking for is 10 to 12 times your annual income, to make sure everyone in your family is taken care of. Winston and I use Zander Insurance. They do all the work for
you to find the best prices and options, so go to
Zander.com to get started on a quote today, because that's who we trust to take care of our family. Well Christmas is this month, which is insane. So Sarah,
home editor of Woman's Day, is here to help us
- I am. - find some new ways and
unique ways to wrap gifts this year, which I'm so excited about. - We're really excited about this. You know, it's so easy
for things to add up around the holidays between traveling and entertaining and
the presents themselves, but wrapping your presents should not cost a fortune.
- Yes. - So we came up with a
really cute and clever way to wrap your presents with a single roll of brown craft wrapping paper. - Which I love, yes. - Which you can get for six bucks. - And like a huge one. - A huge roll.
- So great. - Huge, and all of these
toppings that we're gonna go through are things that are probably already in your house. - Which I love, and no
one else is gonna have this wrapping paper, which I love too.
- No, they aren't. - Okay, so the first gift idea is? - Stickers!
- Yes. - Who doesn't love stickers? And these are big, fat, glittery ones that you know . . . - They're super cute. - Maybe your kid just did
the science fair project and he has some leftover scrapbook letters that you got at the craft store. Don't let them go to waste. We here have spelled out Merry Christmas. You can even use it as a name tag and write a "to" and "from." - Thank you! - You're so welcome. Or you could spell out just some simple holiday letters, so here
we have "faith" and "cheer," and they're super easy. You
don't even have to glue, they just stick right on.
They're self-adhesive. - Super easy. - Peel and stick. It's cute, and then what's
really great about these is, if you're traveling for the holidays, whether you're getting on an airplane, packing in the suitcase, or
just driving to grandma's, these are great 'cause they stack and pack really easily. - Oh, you don't have a big bow on top. - No smushing, so it's very pack friendly which is awesome. - So fun, oh I love that, love that. Okay, number two? - Okay, number two. So at the craft store, you can pick up a roll of gorgeous ribbon and gasp at the price. It's so expensive and you can maybe get like three presents out of it. - And it's not a lot.
- No. - I did that last year, and it was like three presents, literally,
these beautiful bows and that was it. - And then you spend $50
on ribbon which is silly. - Yes, yes. - So we came up with a way to make some really gorgeous ribbon
out of a piece of fabric. This is a sample we got at a craft store, or you can take an old
tablecloth, you can take dad's old plaid shirt, you can take a tie, and all you have to do is just cut out one to one-and-a-half-inch strips. And the great thing about plaid is, because it has lines on it,
you don't have to measure or use a ruler. You just cut down the line, and I cut the ends to give
it that little ribbon feel. - So cute. - And then, you just tie it on, like a bow, and you can use these year after year if you are one of those
people who likes to save your-- my mom saves her bows. So here we go, saving ribbon, and it's super cute. - And it's so festive!
- Yeah. - And super soft. It's like warm and cozy feeling. - Yes, exactly.
- I love it. - Okay, this one's really fun. These sticker dots, you probably have them in the back of your
desk drawer. They're at the drugstore on the corner, and they make a really
great polka dot pattern just by sticking them on.
So we have them of course in festive colors, so green and red, and this is great to get the kids involved because there's no-- - I was gonna say, kids
will be obsessed with these. All of these are good for
kids but this one's fun too. - Exactly, so you just stick 'em on, no rhyme or reason, you
can let them have their fun and create their own little
pattern. And the great thing about this idea is that these
dots come in tons of colors-- neon pink, neon yellow--
so if you have a birthday coming up or a baby
shower, you can last-minute make it appropriate for that
and not just the holidays. - Yes, so even beyond Christmas. - Exactly. - Seriously, how cute it'd be for a little five-year-old birthday party, and you show up with pink polka dots. - The wrapping paper
might almost be as fun as the gifts. - Seriously, it's so great. Okay, this one I'm loving already. - So tinsel garland. You know, let's say you pack it away after
Christmas and you get it back out of the attic and it's
not in the best shape. Before you throw it out, it
can be a nice alternative to a bow for a fraction of the price. - I mean, that's adorable. - So all you have to do
is, from the big strand of garland, you're just gonna take and cut six to 10-inch strips,
and all you're gonna do is knot it, in a knot, it
doesn't have to be perfect. - So easy. - Yeah, and then you just stick
it right onto the present, we used glue dots, which are awesome, and not even double-stick tape, you just stick it right on, and voila, you have like a
fuzzy little caterpillar bow. - So cute and so easy. I'm like not a crafter you guys, and and all of these, it
is, it's like so simple. - It's sticking, it's cutting, it's tying. - So different and cute, yes, I love it. - Very cute. - Okay, and last but not least? - So this one is really going to impress the gift recipient. So these awesome toppers are
made out of cupcake liners. - So cute. - And it's the holidays, you're baking, and chances are you have
this already in your pantry, and what's great about the cupcake liners is they come in a million colors, and especially around
the holidays, they come in great green and red patterns. - And so many for so cheap. - So you could make
probably dozens of bows. - Oh, yeah. - And just the thought
of one bag of bows is, it can really add up.
- Yes, yes! - So you can get a lot of toppers out of a single sleeve of cupcake liners, so all you have to do
is just, you start with flattening them out. So take your biggest
one and that's gonna be your base, and then you're
gonna fold the smaller ones, just flatten them out. - They all come in
obviously different sizes. - Different sizes and you
can even cut them down so they'll fit, so you wanna layer them from largest to smallest,
and then to give it some texture, you can just
simply like fray the edges around, or you can keep it flat. It's really customizable, and then once you're done cutting it . . . - This is a creative's dream. Like all the patterns and all the forms, everything you can do. - Totally. Here let's get a
little sticky tape in there. - Perfect. - And then we're
gonna top with, this is just a thick piece of glittery card stock just to kind of add the little finishing, glittery touch.
- Just a little glam. - Just a little
glam, and then you can just stick it right on top of our ribbon. - You guys. - How cute? - I mean that's so easy. - And then you can even write-- - When I first saw this I was like ooh, that's intimidating, and it's not! - It looks like a professional crafter, but no, it's simple.
- So great. - And if you get a
non-glittery card stock, you can even write a little message or a "to" and "from" right onto the paper. - Yes, oh I love it. - These are all such
great ideas, seriously, and like the Cruze
household, it's gonna be so festive and merry
because of you, Sarah. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright, you guys, make sure to check out Woman's Day magazine on newsstands now for the December issue to get more budget-saving ideas around Christmas, and click the link
below to get more unique gift wrapping ideas just like these! Thanks again Sarah for being here, so fun. - Thanks for having us! (upbeat music) - Okay, how cute were those? I mean, guys, give me some cupcake liners and some scissors any day, I mean I can even do this stuff! Oh, so much fun. Okay, so that is a great way to save money on gift wrapping, but what about all the other expenses you
have during Christmas? Well if you've not done
your Christmas budget, it is not too late. You might be thinking, "Okay,
that's awesome Rachel, but where do I start?" Well, you're in luck. Thanks to my friends at SimpliSafe, I was
able to bring on a couple onto the show and show them how to do their very first Christmas budget. Now, they're in week seven
of Financial Peace University and they have vowed to stay
out of debt this Christmas. Now, if you've not taken
Financial Peace University, you need to. You guys, this is the
best thing you can do to get in control of
your money, so make sure to click the link below,
and I want you to take it because I want you to see
progress when it comes to your money. Now, they have never done Christmas without going into debt, so I am
so pumped to show them how it's done. Alright, so take a look at their story. - We were just swiping
four grand in a month, and we didn't even realize that. We didn't budget ever and we didn't plan, we just spent what we
needed to when we needed to, you just swipe it and you don't realize, and I wasn't looking at numbers. He was seeing them. - Yeah, I was seeing them. I was just feeling the stress of the debt. - We realized that we had to do something and so I thought, you know,
we need to get a plan. And he was always like kinda push back, you know like, "I don't want someone or something telling me
how to spend my money." - I was more worried
about like what I would be restricted in doing,
'cause I was a spender, she's a saver. - When we sat down together
and listed everything, I thought it was gonna be here, and it was here. And it took probably a couple years, maybe more, for him to
finally hit that wall this summer and go, "We need help." - I didn't want it to go out of control, 'cause I wanted to do
something before something really bad happened. - So we challenged
ourselves for that month to cut our spending
down, and in that month we cut it in half. In about six weeks,
seven weeks, we had paid just over $8,000. It was exciting, we
never thought that would be possible, so this
will be our first year-- - Doing Christmas budget. - Doing the Christmas budget, yeah. So Christmas won't follow us anymore. When we swipe our debit
card, it's gonna be done. - Well thank you guys so much for coming and chatting with me about
the Christmas budget! - Yes, you're welcome. - Okay, so I wanna know first and foremost like, what made you guys want to say, "Okay, this Christmas, we'reactually gonna do a budget and not go into debt for Christmas"? - That's one of the things
that we needed to do. We wanted to be you know, gazelle-focused on this kind of stuff. - 'Cause y'all are paying off debt? - Exactly. - And it's perfect timing,
too, because we just started to learn to budget and we're still in those ironing out stages. - Yes, okay, so I love that this is a part of your journey 'cause as you guys are working to pay off debt,
you just did your first budget, your first household budget,
about two months ago, right? - Yes.
- So how's that going? - It's going good. (laughs) - Well, it takes about
three months to kind of really get it going,
- Yeah. - So you're two months in. - We're telling ourselves that. - So I always tell people
when you do a budget for the first time you
feel like you got a raise. What would you say, true or false? - Yeah. - No, absolutely. - Yeah, it was definitely, you know, to see where we're telling it to go versus it's just flying out the window faster than you can even
keep track of it, really. - Absolutely, okay, I love it. You guys are like doing so well, the fact that you're even
budgeting and even getting out of debt is remarkable
because most people aren't, so this Christmas is gonna
be a little different, 'cause you guys are like
okay, we're not going into debt for this Christmas,
because in the past, you have, right?
- Yes. - In the past, you've gone into debt. So tell me about the past Christmases, what did that look like? - I stopped working a couple years ago, so before that we had double income, and so we just spent and
we never thought twice. - Credit card spent, or
you had the cash to do it? - No, this was all credit card spending. - Yeah, just swipe the credit card. - Yes. - And so you guys would swipe everything with credit cards, and then
when would you pay it off? What was kind of like? - I'd strive to pay it off in January but it ended up trickling
down to February sometimes. - Yeah, totally, so a few months after? - A few months. - And I feel like maybe
that's what made us feel like we were doing okay,
because it wasn't following us all year.
- Yep. - When in fact it
shouldn't follow us at all, like we're learning new habits. - Yes, yes. Okay, so Barry, you were
the one in charge of like paying off the bills and
all of that after Christmas. So what was that like?
Like when January came and you knew, "Okay, this probably is a year that we won't be able to make the bill," what did that feel like? - Well when I'd see the
balance, I'm like oof, that's a lot, and it's a lot
more than I was expecting, so I would just kind of, you
know, finagle my way through it, and if it didn't make it in January, I'd say, "Okay, fine, we'll
just push it to February and hope it doesn't go into March." - Yeah, so did you feel
like you were in control or was it a little
isolating knowing that she wasn't like a second brain helping? Do you know what I mean? - Yeah, it was very . . . I felt
like I was more reactive to things, it was definitely
not something that was like, oh, I had a—it's not like I had a plan and the plan failed. It wasn't like that at
all. It was more like okay, I'm just gonna take whatever comes and you know, just, I
didn't really talk about it with her all that time, all that much. I would just try to make
it work within myself. - Right. - So that way, she didn't
have to worry about it so much.
- I didn't know. - Right. - Like literally, we did the numbers and I was blown away.
You know, it was double what I thought it was. - The debt or expenses?
- The debt. - The debt? - The debt, yeah, and so
now that we've sat down, we know what it is, we've got a plan, we've got a budget, and
it will only get better. We got this. - And I do wanna point
out, it wasn't like you were intentionally hiding the debt. - Oh, no, no. - It was just that it was
completely not communicated. - Correct. - Like it was not talked about. So you kind of got budgeting a little bit under your belt, so I was
looking at last month's budget, 'cause you guys sent it to me, and as I was looking over it, I thought, really, you
guys for the most part, are very responsible with your spending. Like I looked at most of your categories and I was like okay, there's
not a ton that you have to cut because a lot of it is needs. - Right. - It's your insurance, it's your food, it's cars, it's all that kinda thing and so, I did see debts
in there and you guys are talking about working
your way out of that, which is huge. - We're starting our snowball. - Yes, because it's
about 25% of your income is going to debt, so you're
feeling those payments for sure, and so Christmas
this year may look a little different because you're not going in debt for it, and
you're being intentional so as I was looking through,
really the biggest things I saw was that you still had
about $250 left to budget in your EveryDollar
account, which was awesome. So again, giving every dollar a name and being purposeful is huge. So like, that's a great
place. You could literally add Christmas line item and just drop that money right in, $250. Now on average, the average American, how much do you think the
average American spends on Christmas? I'm putting you on the spot. - Oh.
- Um. - I'm gonna be judging some
of you watching this too. - I would imagine it would
be like $1,000 or more. - Yeah. - You know, because you feel like you need to buy for everybody. - Yes, so on average,
it's about $700 to $1,000. Different studies show different amounts. But I read that, I was
like, "That's a lot of money." - Yeah. - I mean that's a lot going
out, and so for you guys, my goal would be that
you're not average, right? That you're not normal.
- Right. - So I would even go
below that, so the $250 that you have extra can
totally go to Christmas, and then there were two
areas in your lifestyle that I think were October-specific. - Yes. - So a $20 one, a $40
one, and another $40, so that's some you can throw at there. So really on average, you're about $350 that you can budget for
Christmas, and you guys, I think that that's great,
because when you do it, you're gonna name out, "Okay,
here are all the people," you list 'em out, who
you're gonna buy for, and the dollar amounts next
to each of those names. So who, just off the
cuff, like who are people you would buy Christmas
gifts for normally? The two kids, obviously. - Yeah, the kids, we gift for my sister, and his brother.
- My brother. - My mom has requested a gift. Sorry mom. (laughs) So, and then my dad is usually, it's never anything crazy. - So that's encouraging for me to hear because I'm like you can do that for $350, you really could. 'Cause I would say, the spender, 'cause
I'm a spender like you, you said that earlier.
I am too, so part of me was like, you could still
probably keep that $350 into December as well
and that's $700 total. But I'm like no, you don't
need to, you really don't. And so I would so encourage
you guys if you can, challenge yourselves and
say okay, we're gonna just take this $350 that we're gonna get in November and that's gonna be it. - Yeah. - And it's kind of a hard pill to swallow, but where you guys are with the debt, I would say I would do
that. That's exactly the goal. I would make, and
you just write it down, it's so easy, and it's
not a lot of people. - No, not at all. - Which is awesome, six
people, and say, "Okay, this Christmas it's gonna
look a little different," and even prep the kids,
'cause you guys have two kids. - Yeah.
- Yes. - And their ages are? - Nine and five. - Nine and five, so
sweet, they're adorable, I met 'em earlier. Your daughter, I was like, "Give me a hug," and she did! - She ran right into your arms. - She's so sweet, so sweet. And so and I'm like kids,
that's still a great age that they're not like teenagers,
that their expectations are off the roof. - Yes, and even when I
was home with the kids, we decided to do instead, because they get so many gifts and we had
mentioned this earlier, is breaking it down into
the four—the need, want, read and wear.
- Yes, yes. - And so even though
that wasn't budgeting, to me it felt kinda budgeting. - Like there was a boundary,
there was kind of this limit. - There was a limit, yeah. - You know, it's just
a great season of life for you guys to kind of
edge this new habit in, and I think you can do it. Most family members, you know, are pretty encouraging with that. - We've been pretty vocal with everything. - That's awesome. - And like we're open with
our story on Facebook, and so I think at this point everyone is— - They know your journey.
- Pretty aware, yeah. - Well thank you guys so
much, again, for coming in and sharing your story. So huge. You guys, if you're
motivated to budget now, especially for Christmas,
make sure you download EveryDollar, it's a great budgeting app. But if you want a
Christmas-specific budget, click the link below. Oh, weren't they so great? Now if you've been working
on your Christmas budget, that means you have worked hard all year to give your family the
Christmas you want to. With so many packages being
left at your front porch and being kept in your home,
you need to keep them safe. My friends at SimpliSafe
can provide everything you need to keep an eye on your home when you aren't there, because we all need one less thing to worry
about during the holidays. You guys, this is it, right here. This is SimpliSafe. This is the base station.
Look how small it is! I mean it's so easy to use, and I love it because it's affordable
and there are no contracts or long-term commitments, and you can even customize it to your home to get exactly what you need for your
family, and it is so easy to set up. You will have it up
and running in no time. Winston and I even added
two additional cameras because we love monitoring
things on our phone. Now, I know I'm talking about Christmas, but you can look at this as an investment in keeping your family safe all year long. We all like to save money,
so having an alarm system can save you as much as 20%
on your homeowner's insurance in a year! Head to simplisafe.com/Rachel. Next up is my friend and
Simplicity expert Emily Ley. She's going to talk to us and show us how to lower our stress and have more fun over the holidays. (upbeat music) Hey guys, we are backstage at
the Business Boutique Event and I heard that Emily
Ley was gonna be here and I was like someone contact her, someone contact her to
see if we can get her on the show! - I'm so glad to be here! - Emily, thank you.
- Thank you. - Seriously, I know some of you are like freaking out right now that she's on because I know so many of you love her. But those of you that don't
know who she is, Emily, will you kind of just share a little bit about like who you are,
what you do, all the above? - Yes, I do all the things, I feel like. I'm a mom, first and foremost. I've been married for 10 years now, and I have a seven-year-old little boy and three-year-old twins, boy and a girl. - Twins, I can't believe it. - It is a circus but it's wonderful. - Yes, yes. - It's more than we ever
hoped and prayed for, and I'm also the creator
of the Simplified Planner and founder of the Simplified brand. So I have a team of amazing
women and we make products for women to help simplify
and organize their lives so that they can spend times on the things that matter most to them. - So good.
- Yeah. - You know, on this show we talk so much about budgeting money,
right? Like, 'cause that's one of the main focuses, and
you do just a brilliant job about your time, budgeting your time. - I try. - It's like yes, okay, so
like what are some things, you know, it's the holiday
season, and everyone's like being pulled in 18 different directions. So like, you're a mom,
like this is your life, so like what do you do when you feel like there's just like all
these things going on? - It's so stressful and I feel like I, I have times in the year
especially where I feel like I'm doing a really good
job having everything kind of you know, all the I's
dotted and all the T's crossed and everything's kind of going the way it's supposed to go, and times in the year where I feel like I'm being
terrible at everything and I'm disappointing
everyone and I'm stretched too thin, and I'm frazzled and frantic, and I am my absolute
worst when I'm like that. And so with the holidays,
I feel like I have to just decide early on what memories,
especially as a family, I try to always put that first and say, what memories do we wanna make? You know, if I look
back on New Year's Day, what will I look back
and say, "I'm really glad we did this," you know? It might not be that we went
to all the Christmas parties, or we went to all the
major productions in town, but maybe we went and drove around and saw the Christmas
lights, and that's something we do year after year.
Or maybe it's some other family tradition, but
starting ahead of time and planning it out and saying, "Okay, there's three things that
I wanna do," and making those happen just like you would
a dentist appointment or anything else. Having
those just already lined up and planned for. It helps you kind of work other things around it.
- Yes. - And make sure at the end of the day you're focusing on what
matters most to you. - So for you, as a working
mom 'cause there's a lot of working moms watching, I love to ask other working moms like number one, I know that life balance is not a true thing. - No. - Yeah, we're all out
of balance all the time, so how do you deal with
things like the mom guilt, and deal with . . . you have kids and you have this booming business and all the above. Like how do you do it all? - How long do we have? - I know, seriously. - Can I just put my feet up? (laughs) I know, it is so hard, and
I totally agree with you that balance is not a thing
that you just achieve. Like I think a lot of times we see people on social media, or we
see other entrepreneurs and we're like, "They're doing everything and why is it that they
have like six-inch heels and perfect hair and
dinner on the table at six and my life is a disaster?" - Yes, yes, yes. - My first book, Grace
Not Perfection, is about that very thing. I wanted to have this
perfect life where I had this beautiful balance
that existed all the time every day where my children
were perfectly behaved, and I was a wonderful cook. I'm a really bad cook,
that's a whole 'nother story. - Talking about that, I get it, I get it. - I'm really good at ordering to-go food, that's a whole 'nother story. And business was great,
and it isn't a real, it isn't a reality, and
so I just had to learn to give myself a lot of grace and know that every day was gonna
look different and I also had to say, "Okay, what is good enough?" Like what at the end of the
day, what will I regret? Will I regret not going to that conference, or will I regret not showing
up at the Halloween party at school, you know? And for me, it was . . . I
quit my full-time job— after two years of working
two jobs, I was able to leave my full-time job,
and I did it so I could be a mom with flexibility, and that's it. That's the only reason. I started a small Etsy
shop so that I could have a side income to bring into our family, and it grew much further
beyond that. But at the end of every day, even with a business like we have now, with
thousands of customers around the world, at the end of the day, I go to the Halloween party, you know? - Yep, yep. - And that has to be for me, what's good, what's good, you know? - Yes, yes, yes, totally. - And somebody said a quote,
and I'm gonna get it wrong, whoever it was, but it was,
"Don't sacrifice the good to chase the perfect."
- That's good. - So for me, what's
good? What's good enough? And then giving yourself
grace along the way. And one more thing about
balance, I heard this analogy once that balance is like riding a bike. You're never just fully there,
you have never just arrived. You're constantly shifting your weight from left to right to
keep from face planting. - Yes, that's so good. - And that's me on the bike every day, I just don't wanna fall on my face. Some days I have to
spend more time at work, some days I'm with my kids
more and then we just, you go back and forth. - That's right, that's right. And different seasons, different decisions are going to be made.
- Oh, definitely. - And you have three
great tips about this, simplifying your schedule,
so talk me through those. - Well, I think you have to start with taking inventory of where you are. So, what are you currently committed to? My husband laughs whenever I get out a big poster board and a
Sharpie. I have to have a big poster board and a
Sharpie, but when they come out, he's like, "Here we go." - It's about to happen.
- It's coming. - What do you do with it,
you write everything down? - I write everything down,
so what are we committed to? We're committed to church,
we're committed to school, we're committed to these volunteer things. - And is this like, what
are you committed to in life or is it like, or in the month? - In the month. So in life for us is like,
we have this church thing, this volunteer thing, this work thing, this kid thing, and we
have to write 'em all out and see like, where are
we? And then number two, what can we cut? And you just have to
unapologetically say no. It can't be part of this, even
though this volunteer project is good, or being classroom mom is good, I can't do it in this season. And so saying no, finding things that
you can cross off the list, and then manipulating things in a way where you have margin. I think a lot of times
with this time of year, we overschedule ourselves.
- Yes. - And maybe we have 20
memories we wanna make with our family so we have
back-to-back-to-back-to-back, and especially with little
children, that does not go well.
- Yeah, no. - At least with mine, and
so we have to build in days that are just down days and build in time that's just white space
and not feel so compelled to fill that white space
with stuff, you know? I think as a society we're
a little uncomfortable with being bored.
- We totally are. - Or like taking naps. - That's exactly what I was
thinking, yeah seriously though. The quiet freaks people out now, freaks people out and I'm probably guilty of this.
- Me too. - "Okay, well let's just look on my phone." You gotta be doing something all the time and that rest, truly,
just like doing nothing, it's so good. It's so good for you. You can actually hear your thoughts and think through things. - Right, that's crazy. - It's so good, oh my gosh. Well you are so brilliant
on so many levels. And I was like, I wanna ask
you like all these topics and all of that, so yeah,
I'm just so thankful that you're such a great
resource for so many women watching, and for moms like me. Just the encouragement
you give, and your advice is so, it's kind of like my money advice. It's so simple, it's
just hard to do at times. So change that behavior—
getting in the habit, you guys, of simplifying your time and
being so, so intentional, which is your message.
- Right. - It's gonna help you out
this holiday season for sure. So Emily, where can everyone find you? - On Instagram and Facebook @emilyley and also @simplified, and at emilyley.com. - And my favorite thing
you have are your pens. - Oh, I love the pens! - Actually, for all of you out there in the box we send out to people, I was like, could we get,
could we get Emily Ley pens? Because I love them.
- They're so cute. - So everyone, check
out everything she does. (upbeat music) Alright, the part of the show where we get to celebrate you guys, that's right. She Works Hard Saving Money. Rachel said—oh, Rachel, great name, Rach! Love it! "We wanted to tile our bedroom
with wood-looking tiles. We sold some old furniture
but everything was way over that budget until
we found a tile on sale for 52 cents each at Lowe's. The Lowe's in our town didn't
have the amount we needed so we drove 30 minutes to another Lowe's where we found it full price for $2.89. We spoke to the manager and
she honored the sale price. Under total discount on our receipt, it says $406.56, and we paid cash! #Sheworkshardsavingmoney." Rachel, that is amazing, so fun. Teresa said, "We have waited
five years to visit Scotland. Stationed in Germany, we
knew it would be expensive, physical, and hard, but we did it. Our 19-month-old loved
it and climbed through all of the castles and abbeys we visited. Our Scotland line item gave
us permission to spend." Amazing, Teresa, thank you guys so much for your service, I love it. Rilea said, "18 and
debt free in nine months! Paid off $7,000 between
my car and my phone and now to pay for my
MBA without student debt. So far, so good with community
college for two years. Have almost $3,000 of the $8,000 saved up to cover my first year of my
three-year university in 2020. Woohoo, no more payments ever." Amazing, Rilea. You guys, you're killing it, I love it! So, so good. Remember to post your
pictures and your videos with the hashtag #sheworkshardsavingmoney. Alright, well thank you so
much to all of our guests on for today's show,
Sarah from Woman's Day for the great gift wrapping
tips, and Amber and Barry for sharing their story, and
to Emily Ley for coming on. And you guys, thank you
so much for watching, and remember to take control of your money and create a life you love.
