Sam & Fred Their Story | Crashing Fan Compilation

stop being anal kate it's just a party please no yes no yes no it's my birthday we are not allowed parties we will get kicked out all right how is not wanting to be homeless anal just a small little covering you can invite jessica for my sack i don't want work people saying where i live thanks i think i'm a squatter look the whole point of living in a disused hospital is to get a girl on a slab no it's to save money for a deposit on an actual house oh yes if that's what we're all doing here come on kate i'll go down on you don't go down on my fiance baby the pigeons in the chair again no it's nice no he's looking after himself just throw it over him it's not moving and it's looking right at me i'll go oh my god i'm gonna have to say it he's going to say something terrible it's my first birthday since my dad died there said it what's this he wants a party no one should have to go around carrying this much grief and this much semen something bad is bound to happen you're unbelievable i'm an orphan you have a mom she'd have sound to the river compliment her again and she'll do it you've got really fair hair i'm gonna be late we're organizing a massive treasure hunt today for a shoe shop maybe we could do something like that oh you're an angel the pigeon pulls up when it's angry i know baby you are my hero melody when you want me i am all yours come on one poke melody what have i got to do really yeah drag me wow and then never tell me wow really yeah happy birthday dude stop stop i'm still bad [Music] there are clues on every floor of the hospital do not change your partner once you've been allocated one okay it's going to be ano super fun right panima and sam jessica and sam that unbelievably hot guy what who even is that who brought that kate may taking the squat it's not a squat melody and tom collin okay no don't speak to him i grew up with her she's red zone she's basically my sister you guys look really similar yeah i know i don't think so so i'm sam and i am amazing he's a pervert this is melody she's a hot frog she's a teacher i'm an artist and you've met kate she's really amy i am not angel you all live here we're not trans we just shallow floor what are you doing here oh i don't know i just gotta find somewhere to live and then i'm just gonna be completely on top of this one can i dump my stuff sure yeah i'll show you around the wards okay i'm just about to start the treasure hunt would just be a couple of secs [Applause] he lives with us you [ __ ] hi oh jesus josh [Music] okay baby your penis is a bit of a problem for me so we're just gonna have to forget about exist while we do this kabish kabish that's my girl swap partners no way you two are perfect for each other oh you're cheeky i like that red zone she really went for it wow boom big one lift me princess okay brilliant this is so much fun hey we have actually uh met before in the laundry room when you were um stealing that girl's out [ __ ] fit the envelopes on the ceiling all contain x-rays with the letters of the alphabet hidden in them find all the letters and they will make up the name of the room the prize is in she is so [ __ ] anal i love her let's go follow me vote me yes i will [Applause] [Music] they're making me laugh oh what the [ __ ] wow you two look cozy i was gonna [ __ ] you excuse me i was going to [ __ ] you oh [ __ ] oh oh gosh i'm sorry i guess in that case i should i should probably um [Music] okay stop trying to bum me excuse me [ __ ] bender that is not nice yeah i will need this being sexually assaulted by a surprise flatmate i don't think you're very happy mate don't say me you say babe yeah well i'm an estate agent i'm meant to sound like a [ __ ] what's your excuse [Laughter] [Music] what made you think i was gay you're so gay you don't know me at all i know when one jumps on my back it was so inappropriate and you told me to do that are you gay are you [Music] it was okay i heard about your dad i'm sorry yeah mine died too i was much younger but it hurt yeah [Music] yeah yeah [Music] all right come on trickle let's go let's win this thing [Music] wanking room how does she know about my wanking room waiting waiting room you are a genius i'm not anal you are not aiming don't think that i don't know that because i make all the fun i can't have any of the fun because i always know where the prize is i'm the fun one okay in here it's all crazy crazy in here look at me i am out of control sorry i'm dick it's okay i know it's because you're sad but we are here thank you for my party where's the prize [Applause] he's mine really [Music] happy birthday happy birthday i've had such a lovely night so nice to hang out if i drop in my bed i'm gonna sleep in yours okay okay i'm gonna be sick okay and then i am gonna be so i know with you [Music] [Music] your stupid face oh my god you were so sad what are you doing now uh i've got work actually wanna watch wrongcon what what now yeah maybe it's just the beginning this came from are you hurt no you've ruined our movie come on fred i really have to go to work now sorry sam sorry kid i hope everything but no you have to bunk with me i beat you really can't i'm sorry no no no no no but i know i need you are you okay yeah sharp go to work so it was like point number one treat your time as your most [ __ ] hey guys great work you especially fred i need to ask you to step outside your test results have just come back now fred they found a donor i am in professional mode is everything okay how good is that smoothie it's an amazing smoothie that is what the whole day could taste like baby you me and the big smoke what are you saying lots of jerks people can't just walk out of work you're not like people where will we go you're my hero mom i am rebellious there's a crazy thread in here serious yeah shot me i drew on my desk at school well you're wild boy i cut the tassels off my mom's special rug dirty i regularly steal pens from ryman's and i once killed a fox with a tennis racquet should we do something rebellious inside it's getting a bit chilly just 10 more minutes what are we doing shots that pretty mouse baby you're right you know it's good to take a day off occasionally oh by the way the whole fox thing was more complicated than i actually uh deep breath [Music] as he scattered breadcrumbs here throughout his life so we scatter his life here [Music] bye dad [ __ ] oh i am it was um it doesn't matter i didn't want it anyway [Music] hey you're right yeah why are you wearing a hat how how did he die duck attack oh my god was that the pond where it happened bowl cancer in the family apparently i'll check yours if you check mine [Laughter] thanks for today fred [Music] friend yeah this ain't never gonna happen [Music] okay okay [Music] [Music] oh please if you're about to say something like porn is killing sex we're gonna have a massive argument please don't worry it's killing sex bring it listen hot chops i've wanked over the entire internet computer screens used to give me faster bonus than a flash of a tit and that is not normal can we please stop talking about porn lulu you're supposed to be helping me you know the common side effect of excessive porn use is a relative dysfunction you're getting better bonus what do you think's holding this table kitchen now guys am i too much ladies and gentlemen this is my greatest achievement it looks so hot where's your date we need to get going i'll call him again stood uh he probably just got stuck on his penis train penis train he'll be here he's very reliable so go and pray tell us about the penis train oh yeah well um he's lovely yeah he's really um he's just so nice to me i i i don't um i just i mean it's um early days what's wrong with you it's broken oh it's broken don't mess me up okay i like him yeah sure i've never seen you look so sexy okay here we go [Music] okay tonight there will be he he meant her it's embarrassing oh she's still painting colin i bet she is lulu go get her because it makes you feel like you're around indian people no i didn't am i making you feel uncomfortable kate do you want him to leave i just feel there are certain connotations that come with mocking certain accents i think it's beautiful that you tried she let you down you held your end up good for you thank you sam are you trying to have sex with someone here no [ __ ] is really lucky [Music] hey guys sorry to interrupt a room you don't know where i can find a little fella called fred do you if i can do a song then you can about truth just [ __ ] do it not only if fred gives me the topic me i don't look oh i don't know i'm not feeling under pressure now how about [ __ ] sam how about penguins lovely excellent choice fred classic friends um [Music] go on with [Music] i wish that i could sing about those penguins but all that i have in my head is a tune a tune a tune about the most beautiful creature in the world so i guess i gotta sing so i guess i gotta sing [Music] [Applause] you can't beat that something that surprised myself with that one struck you in baby girl oh why am i the only ones drunk because you drank everyone's wine sam uh help me would you sam so little it's pretty full on yeah she's just trying to piss me off she doesn't actually want to have sex with you she does she doesn't she does she doesn't she does i don't have time to do this she doesn't she doesn't [Music] can you tell he doesn't so just to be clear you still wanna bang lulu no no okay cool so so she's not red zone anymore do what you want really no but yeah sure but no yeah yeah no cool [Music] you okay no oh how romantic are we nearly finished nope no one moved what melody fred hit me fred do it again i'm so sorry about this book don't make crazy fred come to town okay i've ruined the shirt where's my shirt i've ruined my shirt and crazy fret oh you're adorable stop touching me i'm not adorable i'm a man all right stop showing off your little squid i made you excuse me give me my shirt back what i don't think that's necessary is it now oh yours okay now i i'm just gonna gather up all of this negative energy and i'm just gonna pop it in here okay don't put it in there i've spent three days marinating oh first fight g'day i'm gonna go and get you a big pint of water tempting chuckles but i'm too full oh come on get your tits out we can't i'm sorry no no i'll let you call me fred that's a joke oh this is the sexiest property we have in our books two beds one kitchen bunch of walls big window and the shower has excellent pressure it's screaming by me what about the owners are they in ibiza oh prune jordan thing i'm good hey thanks for sneaking me on a weekend i'll really are you one friend of the little [ __ ] is a friend of mine guys hi hi hi hi hi i'm sorry this is a nice place is this a nice place hi hi hi smooth guys oh look at this place surfaces and skirting boards and cupboards and an oven can you believe people actually live like this hello it's super cute so lunch what's up poodle there can't stop it i've got energy [Music] guys so how long has this been on the market then i'd say about 28 years i mean there's minimal storage space and there's a couple of spendy corners but it's worth it for the little willy that comes with it what's on the menu it's just a little something i picked up on my travels he's a really good cook oh good yeah he also buys and sells small companies it makes them stronger and more commercially viable that's impressive make it sound like a work for a charity oh yeah he's a samaritan when he's got a spare time cool stop it really makes me sound like a knobber don't tell him about the paper fred oh yeah he also writes a column for a financial paper and andy bakes who doesn't have a homemade bun not big on carbs touching myself hey she did get my bag okay don't say anything inappropriate get your [ __ ] out what i heard that it was a test you passed just all right you muckers grabs up [Music] gonna put my friend uh i'll think about it sure have you got a second like now yeah yeah thanks man it's not called how you talk to fred calling him [ __ ] and pencil prick and freaky tits i'm not a gaping [ __ ] i know it's just for laughs but but that sort of language is actually pretty insidious i just think you should just dial it down a bit before it starts making a dent you're a smart guy you know what i mean yeah i'm sorry yeah of course i've never never thought of it like that thanks man i knew you'd get out sure everyone happy never happy a [ __ ] bum look home time okay [Music] your titty face what are you doing give me a massage i've got your special ice cream hey oh hey hey we're watching blue planet the whales are so extraordinary oh they're powerful creatures fred are you eating normal ice cream you should be eating normal ice cream i've got in the sugar-free variety got quite a few friends who are diabetic so i'm sure since i know where to get the uh the good stuff tell me try something no i know that stuff's just a little less creamy hey sam you want to join what was that that's not a danger screen it's a jovial scream you did not just do that hey i know you've been greeting your father and that can sometimes make you act a little bit [Music] you're a bit of a prick aren't you [Music] they like it nah not at all it's a shame because my little [ __ ] loves it don't push me sam just don't [Music] uh why the [ __ ] i'm not allowed to what a [ __ ] yeah okay i'm just gonna peep her sure i've heard things about you well i've heard things about you too i thought you can't poo unless you're completely naked you know i've heard that you thought germany was a continent [Music] uh i shouldn't have made you fart in bed [Music] i feel just fantastic isn't it just a fantastic day it's a marvelous day oh we'll come and do the fantastic marvellous day dance with me there okay oh i love this place [Music] would you ever let me bomb you [Laughter] no i like putting things in other things no i think you'd get into it it's good for angry men between you and will i cannot turn around without fearing for my sphincter i'm gonna have to buy a little shield for it will the man can't take his eyes off my hole i can feel them boring through my jeans every time i bend over you genuinely think everybody fancies you don't you they do [Music] park everyone's warning up get out oh [ __ ] what let's get out time baby cakes they're knocking us down you're the secret flower man so nothing wrong with brightening up the place a bit you want one thanks [Music] hey sam where are you going to move to oh i heard a rumor of her old fire station down south just thought it might slide in there okay nice i just thought maybe could i come with you just thought it'd be nice to stick together sure whatever really yeah let's do it you tell anyone that i'm in flower man that is going somewhere i ain't getting photosynthesized crossed my heart [Music] this is insane ricky fred hey pretty chops you ready oh uh will's give me a lift this morning i'm at samaritan's this morning so it's just around the corner samaritan's marines yeah people call up in distress and they're looking for a little bit i'll beat australian advice who were you having that delicious sound and sex with last night my vote's on the fourth floor yoga bunny uh wasn't having sex i was crying weren't you hanging late with lulu last night lulu sure i'd rather slam my dick in a door oh my god it was totally lulu this no it was so totally lulu was it guys yeah can we please just leave him and lulu alone it wasn't i was crying yeah right into lulu's vagina oh hey guys i just wanted to say i found a new pad oh you got your period love your naughty sense of humor no i fought a flat in angel what why didn't you say congrats man thank you i wanted to i wanted to ask hey mate will you let kate know that we're both in on the new building i wanted to ask fred if you'd like to move in with me oh oh wow skirting boards it's got an oven it's got a b day it's got everything and it's all yours it's ours if you want to what do you say oh boy um can i think about it sure can congrats me [Music] i mean samaritan's my ass obey's out there just spanking or grandpas but there's nothing about him being a samaritan online you could call them see if you get him colin 0207 946 they pick up really quickly good afternoon samaritans how can i help you today oh oh no you can take me out charity chops that's what you can do don't disrespect them good afternoon samaritan g'day you're through to the samaritans i'm guessing this means you've got lost along the way am i right hello hi my name's steve hi steven i'm will you doing okay buddy not really i've got a pain in my ass okay i can't actually give you any medical advice i'm sorry i've just done a poo in my hand that i'm about to go in for a meeting [Music] you're a bit of a joker eh all right you got me hands down oh hey i don't mean to pry stephen but what happens when the laughter stops me [Music] did you love your father my family would never close oh he's very goofy don't underestimate the importance of having a strong male role model in your life okay do you know any inspirational older men he sounds like a nightmare he's just always here being relentlessly cheery and he's stolen my friend oh god i sound like a child no you don't stephen you really don't but hey i'm gonna ask you something now are you ready yeah are you honest with everyone about how you feel about [Music] anyone in them yes well i think it's time you told me how you feel stevo he's not okay bubbles when is the occasion oh i'd rather wait until anthony gets back okay i need to there is an old people's home in zone three i've requested a viewing for you but i've done about now sam and sam can we talk for a second hi team hey i'm a samaritan really interesting day actually get many callers ah a little girl is getting bullied a hyperactive dinner lady and frustrated homosexual tragic actually really simple guy just desperate to be much more complicated than he actually is he's got a big heart on for his best friend and he's jealous of the new boyfriend yada yada anyway i think we really got somewhere with him i i'm gonna go and hit el banyo and then i want your final answer okay deal don't be long okay are you gonna remember them i think so yeah me and anthony too yay [Laughter] good yay g'day why do you think i'm gay you think you're so clever um i'm here to help you i want to help answer my question i'm coming in i think you're gay because you obsess about the men in your life well just because i care about my friends it makes me abandon you need to update your counsel brother give me a better reason because you're obsessed with me you think about me you flash your body of me you [ __ ] about me and then to top it off you put on a stupid voice and you call my work and waste the time of a poor old little dinner lady who really needed help maybe i need help you need a boyfriend to think yeah i do i really do i think you need to have sex with a man [ __ ] you hey um i get it i'm upbeat and australian and a lot of fun but i'm in love with your boyfriend i'm [ __ ] crazy about him and either you need to back off or you need to share him because i'm not going anywhere and you and i will just end up fighting till the sun takes his little hat off it'll be so much better for the both of us if you and i just get on [Music] please don't let him speak will someone tell me what happened not wearing the shoulders do not interrupt me and i was asking this douche about his day nice guy then he just opened my shower door leaned in all monkey chest and then he kissed me with his mouth fred sam pranked me today at work he hauled me did you kiss him with your mouth no liar i don't know what you're trying to do here at all well he kissed me oh boy okay i think um hey [Music] [ __ ] going down here and i'm just delighted it's not about us you're pregnant oh jesus why did you tell me because i'm not pregnant yeah guys not pregnant really no i hope not oh thank god thank god thank god don't have a party thank god i just sam what the hell okay anyone else got anything they'd like to announce to the room before i start self-harming okay well in that case we'll i think we sam's [ __ ] lulu mate i am so sorry she was really pushy i know but gray area mate serious what the [ __ ] you promised promised what you can't stop two sexy people yeah no i know i know i know just yeah what you just wanted them all to yourself what the [ __ ] do you care she's not your girlfriend i told you not to do that oh i'm sorry i broke your rules seems like you dealing other people's property in life as well as work sam are you puning i'm just saying stop [ __ ] everyone [Music] [Applause] i think i'm done you say that everybody loves me everybody wants me round i am fantastic i always win always i see what i want and i go and i bloody well get it and i want little fred to be my wife and if that means spending time in this skanky hospital surrounded by a bunch of insane and unattractive urban generals soviet but i will be disinfecting myself the minute i walk out of here because you all disgust me come little friend i think you need to leave the skanky hospital well [Music] you will never meet anyone like me ever again i'm fantastic i told you you can be trusting me [Music] it's just i'm so confusingly incredible we're both single fred isn't that exciting how do you feel i want to drink myself straight i'm fine i'm really happy oh my god does he have a massive penis i i'm not sure the relevant does he i bet i can close your eyes close your eyes what do you see black with some colorful shapes of life a dragon family you did the right thing fred fred where are you come on pick up please call me now be a dick fred fred it's me again i'm sorry i called you a dick but i didn't do anything wrong i'm sorry well i'm in the mood for a penis party and you're invited it's our time on putting froggy he is abhorrent melody this is your last chance your funny will never forgive you fine you are making a huge mistake frenchie yes excuse me we finished no stay i'll be back in a minute [Music] are they pajamas do it [ __ ] do it now really how you want to do me from behind from above yeah take your clothes off you want me to suck your dick yeah get your dick out then after you put it in my mouth you want to put it in my ass huh at my ass yeah oh you want me to [ __ ] on your face you want that chip yeah where there so you walk huh get your dick out this isn't quite [Music] it's okay call your mother so poor boy didn't [ __ ] sam so your boy didn't [ __ ] sam no but and your boy didn't [ __ ] the lanky receptionist chick no but it's more complicated than that you see because he defended her honor in my face so no one [ __ ] anyone at all simon lulu did oh thank god for them oh god am i crazy yes don't answer that he knows this is where i come when i don't want him to find me where is he [Music] you will have a great chemistry [Music] can i be naked what where is your farm colin oh my god i don't feel mario [Music] oh my god he jumped out the [ __ ] window brave [ __ ] i mean i knew he was down but what have i done call an ambulance colin naughty colleen colin what's it like what to only want one person i mean is it just lovely do not want everyone all the time it's not just about wanting someone they might not want you back in what way but you know what they say if you love someone don't let them go [Music] there she goes [Music] i am not running to him hi fred it's me um i i miss mary's hospital i'm just letting you know in case you need to know where i was i'm at the hospital hey pooch hi hi i i'm looking for my friend he he phoned me he's called sam and he's a bit obnoxious but essentially he's a nice person sam are you okay yeah mate why are you doing here why why did you tell me you were here why are you here i thought you were hurt one you came charging like a little tiny prince yes ask me why i did it i did it because i didn't want you to get hurt so i put myself out there as bait any good friend would do that now hit me or something i don't want to hit you i kissed your boyfriend you showed him for who he really is i kiss your boyfriend stop shouting at me please oh just tell me i'm ridiculously done with it no sam i'm not gonna end this by turning this into something that you did just because you're [ __ ] up you're not [ __ ] up sam you're a drama queen did you want to kiss will did you want to break us up did you want to hurt me or do you want me to ask if you did it because you're jealous because you're confused about how you feel about me because you're gay is that what you want me to ask [ __ ] off i'm not queen i'm not a drama queen i am neither queen what do you want from me you don't have anything i want honey [Music] okay goodnight then oh help my friend is nearly dead someone help me my best friend is dead okay he had a hypoglycemic attack diabetes that's right okay can you leave the room i feel like you're stressing him out rubbing his face in his own fear he's knows unconscious oh [ __ ] off i bet you haven't eaten anything today and all the stress oh god i've stressed you out and now i'm going to kill you i've killed you i just want to sleep okay i'm sorry i'm not guessing well i'm an [ __ ] [Music] my tiny prince [Music] [Music] can i have a sip of your coffee mate don't say meat okay babe we lost

Channel: R PM

Views: 588,092

Keywords: crashing, phoebe waller-bridge, phoebe wallerbridge, phoebe waller bridge, jonathan bailey, jonathan baily, sam, fred, fred patini, amit shah, killing eve, bridgerton, bridgerton season 2, romance, british tv, comedy

Id: bgh2j09QlEA

Length: 50min 8sec (3008 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 18 2022