I met dr. Joe a couple of weeks ago by coincidence and I found myself here. I didn't seek it. I didn't..(.Dr.Joe:) we fast-tracked them Yeah, I didn't seek it. I wasn't trying to come here or anything and I came here the first day don't know what to expect never meditated in my life (Dr.Joe) Wait, wait, let me let me just be a little backstory here. Okay, so we have a mutual friend we were I was in London and a my friend of mine raised a dinner and Salah's, is like there, came to the dinner and you know, it was kind of like a dinner in my honor so people are asking me questions at the end and he didn't know anything about what I did really... Everybody else there did he was just kind of but he was asking me really good questions (Salah)Actually, I was trying to avoid him I'm serious.(Dr. Joe) No at the end you were sitting right over there, over there asking me questions at the beginning you were running away from me I saw that , but at the end... (Salah)Like I'm I don't want anyone to tell me what to do and how to, I'm how to do .. So I said okay, you know like these guys are so I'm sitting next to this uh Don't still don't tell me what to do. I I'm sitting next to this amazing lady a Mexican lady very very strong very uh ... she's a Michelin chef. She has a couple of restaurants in Mexico City and she's super nice woman, and I'm asking her so why you're in London? She looks at me and she said.. for the dinner So I look at her and I said you came from Mexico City to have dinner with us? She said yeah, you don't know Dr. Joe? I said no, I don't know Dr. Joe She said I love the guy and he made so and she goes and tells me like a full story of how she attended the one-week retreats, the books, how she changed and I didn't take this lady like she was a super person that you can see so I took her very seriously. So while she's in the conversation said, okay, hold on a second. I took my chair up went next to dr. Joe put my chair down (Dr.Joe)Threw him to me (Salah)And I said, okay. Hi Dr. Joe, I'm Salah and we talked and I thought he was a great guy and and I'm here so anyways I came here the first day I had a plan. I want to go in and go out as fast as possible. I was leaving yesterday I had an event in Porto, 8 guys Great time This is where I want to be And I come and the first thing I see of course Kelly was amazing and all of these guys and my hugging friend over there And he comes and hugs me and hugs my wife. Ok, this tall blond guy young guy. Hey this is gonna be a shit show We're all gonna hug each other and like... I said I'm leaving on Friday going to Porto. I have my 8 best friends. I'm gonna hug them all the way I want (Dr. Joe) By the way his wife is all in now this week.(Salah)Yeah, yeah she is , she's And first day I go to the meditation. Ok, that's very nice The morning I didn't come I was so frustrated and upset like I said, ok, this is waste of my time and didn't come in the morning then went , came again went to the walking the walking meditation was amazing and then we went it was raining so we didn't go for the challenge kept postponing and okay, this is like whatever... Like I've seen this in corporate events, so I'll go back 26 years ago I'm 46 now at 20 years I'm a type of person like at 14 years old. I knew what I wanted to do Everything was planned out. The steps were planned up to 43 years. Was planned At 20 years, I was in a corporate retreat I was diving, came out of the boat walking on the jetty I started getting pain in my legs and I went into my room and I ended up in the hospital with big dosage of blood pressure medications and Xanax and Valium and all kinds of stuff and since that day..(Dr. Joe) wait, wait wait we back up. So his symptoms were he got out of the water and he was walking, he started feeling these sensations in his legs and then his heart started pumping and racing and you started feeling(Salah) like crazy like it was a (Dr.Joe)panic attack (Salah)Yeah, and I went and actually I was afraid I called my mom who's my anchor and I couldn't understand a word of what she was saying. So I felt, I know she's crazy so that is something's wrong. I can't understand I talked to another person, couldn't understand the word went out of the room found the first person I knew and I told him please take me to the hospital and he was holding me up because I couldn't walk and I all I can feel as my life is coming out of me very slowly like it was up to here.. And I went to the doctors and my blood pressure was like 180 over 140 or something like that and and they gave me the medications I went back gave me more medications and since that day 26 years ago, I've had a panic attack weekly almost not less than twice a week. Full onset of panic attack and by panic attack I don't mean like I'm upset. I mean like my heart is 180, my blood pressure is high I cannot move. I cannot talk. I'm in complete panic I'm dying now and I had that twice a week and at least twice a month I would be in the emergency room .At like 2:00 in the morning and so on(Dr.Joe) Almost but on the average four times a month (Salah)Regular (Dr.Joe) In the hospital (Salah)And if I don't have a panic attack, I have a full muscle spasm from the neck down, I cannot move, I'm in bed My wife protecting me and the children are away, taking shots of Valium and that was life, that was okay, that was for me. I did what I wanted to do with that. So this is the panic attack would finish I would be very tired but the next day I would go out and do what I have to do! Every day and I developed an agoraphobia in In in between which is basically, I love to travel that's my my thing, freedom is my thing actually and I wouldn't go I at that time I grew up in Egypt and we had to have lots of desert, we were diving all the time, camping all the time, desert safaris all the time And I wouldn't if I'm going to a camp I would have to make sure I have my medicine I would chart out what is the nearest hospital and If I don't have a hospital within five to 10 minutes from where I go, I don't go. And I stop being afraid to go out meet people go to a crowded places anything that would bring in a panic. And I would be in a meeting get a panic attack I would run out get in the car and go home to seclude I didn't want anyone to see me and I would throw up over myself driving in the car just to get myself to a safe place that I would close get a dark, not see anyone, not to talk to anyone and get on with life basically. So and three or four years ago, I think I... During all of that, I was really not wanting to take any medicine. I tried homeopathy I tried a lot of things, but I wanted to fight it out. I didn't want to take medication The only medication I took was the blood pressure medication and at intervals I of course went to psychologist, psychiatrist everything and they gave me like antidepressant,serotonin inhibitors and that kept me out of panic attacks and when I didn't have panic attacks I was in heaven Basically, it was an amazing life, but I still didn't want to take the medicine until four years ago. I was in a plane and I was sitting and started feeling the panic attack coming and then I went to the bathroom close to the door and I cried so much And I said I cannot take this anymore. This is too much like it's been over 20 years dealing with this It's just too much. I cannot handle it anymore. I'm giving up and I went back and my my cousin is a neuroscientist in John Hopkins, and he gave me this medicine called seprum and he said it's okay take it and you're good spent three or four years. No panic attacks with the medication So again, coming back here was no reason. I have no panic attacks. I'm nothing I'm super happy That I thought and then we went into the challenge I got up and coming up the stairs "this piece of cake" like I'm a pilot I fly I do maneuvers in fighter jets at 30,000 feet So this is for me is is okay And I go up and stand on the wood and start shaking and not feeling it and I take a step back and I don't know I don't remember who was .. But one of the amazing people that are with us sets a word so I said, okay, so I took a couple of steps and I said, okay it's two more steps, one step, one step more and I was there I said okay. I want to go down now So where's the ladders to go back down? And then I said, okay I have to turn and and I turn and then jump No I'm not gonna jump and lso, someone said something and I said, you know, what what the hell just jump what's gonna happen? And I jumped and I went down and I went down like you know when you bring a baby outside of the womb and he has no clue what's going on like like where am I like what's going on? And then guess who shows up? Robbie By the way, I want to go to the product store and I'm hoping to find a full-size Robbie (Dr.Joe)We rent him out. You know him.(Salah) I want to hug him every day in the morning when I wake up So I want to get a full-size Robbie,put him there and hug him every day And I was in still like I didn't know what to make of it. It's my emotions are pretty strong, but and Robbie comes and hugs me and I think it was like 45 or an hour later that I was able to stand I was shaking my legs. I had the same pain I had in when I got the first panic attack. I felt it coming. I knew it was coming. I felt it coming here. My legs were shaking I had pain a lot of thing and just very strong pain in the chest not in the heart but in the chest here But I wasn't scared My heart wasn't beating it wasn't beating fast and my actually my heart was saying It's good. It's okay !And my whole system was pushing working very hard, but there was no panic. And the only thing that kept coming to my mind Oh My God... The past 26 years did not have to happen It was as simple as that Why why did I have to go in the past 26 years of this panic, so just get out of it in two seconds? And so this is all in the past. That's my biggest takeaway wasn't that I'm happy with what happened with me in the past 26 years. I own it. I loved it It made me who I am. If I go back I would tune it down a little bit, but I wouldn't want to be a different person. I still want to have the same thing But what I've started to realize from that moment till now I was actually shutting my the rest of my life down because I didn't want to go back to the same person. I related my panic and my stress to my previous life and my previous resolve to achieve things that I said, you know what? I'm good I fold. at 46 I said I'm happy. I have everything I want I don't want anything more and I'm trying to figure out running away from the next I Don't know 10, 20 30 40 50 years And because and I thought I was doing it because of a logical reason that I didn't need to do it but actually I was doing it because I was afraid And I was afraid to go back to the same pain So what I'm realizing and this is through the walking exercise that I'm actually just starting I'm actually saying this is just a start. I'm going to be bigger and stronger and more than what I've been in the past 46 years and It's amazing And honestly, and I'm not saying it out of stupid ego but this is how I feel I'm scared ! if I was able to reach who.. what I reached with this, I'm scared of where I'm going to reach without it
