Ryan Mason: Why I Have No Regrets After Career Ending Head Clash

I see the ball coming to me I kind of flicked the ball and out of the area and then the impact here I went on responsive I could feel it was quite a serious thing very very painful and I feared a lot I went for the scan that Monday afternoon it was like the gaps in the skull they're just too big I think at that point the club naturally probably thought he's done I'm interested in when you stopped fighting though for your football career Antonio Conte comes in but he actually visited you in hospital didn't he what a guy didn't have to do it but he did John Terry came and Willian the humbleness to pay respect and just to say like I hope he's okay what were you secretly thinking I had phone calls with the docs you know what um thinking of coming back I think naturally you you start to get angry like why did that happen in that moment where I died the thing that I craved and wanted the most was if I can rewind the clock to that football pitch on that January day if I could stop you from going up for that header would you go for it absolutely I wouldn't change anything everything in the past is a shape meter to what I am and who I am today hey there it's Jake here listen I want to say a massive thank you to all of our new subscribers but you know most people that watch this content on YouTube don't subscribe I want to change that the more subscribers The more amazing we can make high performance and I've had a lovely message actually from Rob who says I only recently discovered the high performance Channel and I watched the full Eddie Howe and Tyson Fury interviews both some of the best content I've seen in the last five years on YouTube listen if you agree and you want to keep this amazing stuff coming for free then hit subscribe right now thank you so much well Ryan thank you very much for joining us thanks for having me on um there's so many places we could start this conversation you've done so much in your playing career now in your coaching career you know the youngest person to ever manage a Premier League football match do you mind if we start at the moment that I think is the reason you're sitting here now as a as a 31 year old coach in the Premier League rather than a player no absolutely that's um yeah let's talk so January 2017. yep you're on the pitch at Stamford Bridge playing for Hull what are your memories of of that match excited um we had a we had a new manager probably two or three weeks prior to that the whole feeling around the club had changed we felt confident going into it I always loved playing at those types of stadiums and obviously had that rivalry with being an ex-tottenham player as well so I was up for it I remember I was I was going Toe to Toe man for man with with kante at the time it was probably the best Central midfielder in in World football so I wanted that challenge and um obviously it was it was a Premier League game and yeah your senses are so heightened your energy is up the adrenaline's there and yeah obviously unfortunately for me that that incident happened quite early on in the game okay so it was a head clash with Gary Cahill do you remember the actual moment or yeah I remember everything do you um people were amazed I was conscious the whole time through the incident so tell us walk us through in your head then when you think back to it what do what do you see I see the ball um I see the ball coming somewhere I kind of took a couple of steps to clear the ball kind of flick the ball on out the danger zone out of the area and yeah then the impact impact here and then the body kind of what is amazing um the reaction the body I mean the adrenaline being pumped through must have been intense and pain was pretty unbearable I remember that I I could feel it was it was quite a serious thing I don't know why the body I guess was just telling me that and um yeah I heard voices I heard people speaking process of getting off the pitch putting a neck brace on getting to the ambulance going to the hospital it was it was painful I remember it was it was it was very very painful and yeah I'd be lying if if I wasn't scared and feared a lot that's for sure so what were the kind of conscious thoughts you were having in between this this saving pain what were the kind of comments you were making to yourself Ryan I think it was just about managing pain to be perfectly honest and then when I got in the ambulance I remember my daddy he said these words that were just that just were so powerful he said you're a strong boy and I remember in that moment it it almost like fueled me with with energy to sort of fight the pain I guess um but it was painful I can't lie and then then in the ambulance I get filled with drugs and painkillers and by the time I got to the hospital it was yeah I was I was out of it so when did you first become aware that this wasn't just a clash of heads that would have you on the sidelines for a couple of weeks say a day two days after when fully come round or was fully conscious I realized that I had the best part of 50 Staples in my head doctors were monitoring me every three or four hours and you can tell you can tell by the look on people's faces my parents were worried my my wife now was was at my bedside she was she was scared and I think you get a feeling you you can sense it um luckily for me I was I was out of it for the best part of 20 22 hours a day so the pain that I felt was was only physical when I was awake and I guess I was quite lucky in in that stage because I didn't get to see myself and I was just I was just recovering whereas my wife my family my friends my people close to me had to to come and see me in this state of sort of this vulnerability where there was just so much uncertainty at the time of where I was gonna sort of come come back around to and when you say that I'm reminded of an occasion years ago when I broke my nose quite badly and the worst bit that happened was when people came up and it was their reaction of like oh God and you because you can't see it it then panicks you even more because you're in pain did you have those moments of people coming and you processing the shock or the reaction on their faces absolutely I mean when when my uncle my auntie walks in the room or my sister walks in and just bursts out crying it's like oh what can you say that that I can't um so yeah that that was strange but at the time I really felt so strong mentally I really did that maybe if that would have happened two or three years earlier in my footballing career maybe I would have suffered a lot more um but the experience that I've sort of gathered at that point I feel like it really helped me in that moment let's talk about that then so you've gone from the fear on the stretcher being taken out of Stamford Bridge not knowing what was going on was there a moment where you kind of had to say to yourself right use what you know to be strong here or did it feel quite a natural process to have what you describe as you know a strong mental approach yeah initially it felt natural yeah um because the what is powerful um the body was telling me I needed to sleep and I was listening and just sleeping and then when I was conscious it was just a feeling of I need to get out of this hospital I need to I need to recover I need to get back playing football that was that was my initial thoughts which were crazy at the time but I just wanted to get better um so that's a that's a strange feeling in itself my my career you have injuries that's part of the game and um I think the more you have mentally you get better at dealing with it and understanding the the processes and the steps you need to take to to come back quicker to come back a better better player and um yeah it was just a challenge I guess to to come back but this is different though because this is a head injury right this isn't a broken leg that heals in a linear way you know head injuries are notoriously complex so let's go to the moment where you were first told like this is this is serious who who delivered that news to you yeah I I can't put a specific moment on it to be honest I've got a diary at home of everything I'm sure it'll be in there but everyone close to me protected me initially um I didn't know that I had a tube in my head that they had to drain the blood from when when the incident happened because I went unresponsive and I had to drain the blood from my brain as soon as possible so four days in a doctor comes in and says right we're we're taking the would it be a canister or I don't know that the cube yeah out of my head and I was like whoa I've got a tube in my head would you mean he was like yeah it's fine it won't hurt and the next thing I know is is pulling this out and stitching my skin to you I think that was three or four days after but when when did it go in oh when so I got to the hospital and just before I went into to get scanned I went unresponsive so obviously at that point it's sort of code redis is very serious so they they drilled through my skull to start draining the blood as soon as possible and that brought time to to then go to the operating theater and open me up and sort of see what was going on so I wasn't aware of that initially and like I say I had I think I had 48 Staples in my head but I didn't know that until they came around and said right we're going to take your Staples out so I'm sort of sitting there like what's actually what does this look like how bad is this um I didn't know to be honest Jake it took me a long time to to realize and understand the severity of it my my parents my my wife the doctors protected me I remember the surgeon come around maybe on day seven and just said oh yeah I'll be up and running soon he just had this blase approach about everything and I heard him say that and thought Oh okay this this isn't that serious um but obviously when when I started to try to walk and stand up and all of these things it kind of hit home that yeah this is this is quite a serious thing and this is going to take some time to to get better There's real parallels in your situation with another guess what we've had on a young racing driver called Billy Monger that was involved in a catastrophic accident and described to us waking up from a five-day induced coma and looking down and realizing that it had both his legs amputated above the knee and what we were intrigued about when talking to billion I'm interested in your answer to this is how do you make that mental adjustment because he talks about adversely thinking who do I blame who can uh direct my anger to or where does my bitterness go and then eventually it's as you how do I just get on with this and get my life back on track how did that happen for you yeah I think for me that's probably further down the line um because initially it was just this feeling and this desire to get better I need to recover I need to do whatever it takes to to get better to start walking again to start running to start playing football again so my only focus was on that um as time went on and I was at home and I started doing more being a bit more active I think naturally you you start to get angry like why did that happen um and you're constantly fighting with those demons I guess to am I going to allow myself to to get down and start thinking oh I should have done this I should have done that maybe if I would have headed the ball that way then this wouldn't have happened or maybe if all of these things go through your head but like I said a minute ago I felt so strong mentally in that moment that I was able just to brush them away and say no like I'm gonna come back I'm going to be better than what I was before but just talk us through the granular detail of how you do that because there's lots of people listening to this that like I'd love to have that mental Australian foreign can you give us any specific techniques that you were employed to be able to do that yeah I mean previous experiences helped what I've gone through in in life life experiences tough moments um go on being doubted so one that Springs to mind would be a loan spell in France when I went to lorian in January didn't play a minute after two weeks I spoke to the manager and he said it wasn't his decision you can go back to Tottenham if you want and that kind of decision in that moment saying no you know what I'm not going back I can't go back it's embarrassing to go back I need to I need to prove to you that I can play I'm gonna stay fast forward five months the end of May I didn't play a minute but I stuck it out uh I stayed in France on my own I lived on my own for five months I tried to to learn the language my Skype called my family and friends every day um luckily for me they were they were supportive and helped me get through but I was I was very conscious at the time that this was almost like it probably had more value than actually playing because next year next pre-season I'm gonna be hungrier than ever I'm gonna be mentally stronger than I've ever been because of this moment that most people will go back I knew that there would have been so many people got on the first plane back to England get in their comfort zone around their family around their friends and have four or five months at tottenham's training ground which is one of the best in the world and just kind of take the foot off the gas a little bit but in that moment it was no I need to I need to knuckle down I need to to work harder and um I would better for it so what's intriguing there is you've taken an incident and related it to some kind of value or or competence in this case it's resilience or pig-headedness or stubbornness so what were the kind of characteristics that when you look back in your career up until this moment of the injury you were drawing on that was saying that's a characteristic that's really going to help me yeah I mean I think this comes through education and time and awareness I look back now and the childhood I had was just amazing um I've got given so much love so much confidence so much belief um in difficult moments my my parents would just blah it's fine it happens just just go again just just believe in yourself and go again and they were so supportive so I was very lucky that in those tough moments I always had anchors so to speak that I could I could fall back on and know that my parents would be there the the relationships that I developed in football at that point I've got a sort of circle a network of people that I can pick up the phone to and I know that they're going to be honest with me they're they're gonna tell me straight and tell me how it is and a listen I listen because I value their their word and I guess that's allowed me to get to that point where you can consciously build up resilience um if you're not aware of the situation you're in and you you're not able to sort of analyze and and sort of focus on okay where can I get something good out of this how can I how can I grow how can I how can I be better whether that's from a physical point of view or Mentor whatever it is to be aware of that is is a good place to be I guess so your journey so far in this story has been you know the head injury incredibly painful but you think people get injured in football then you're in the hospital and you don't really know what's happened to you that the the you know tube in your head the 50 Staples then you come out of hospital and you're thinking right now is the time to get back and to recover when is the first conversation about you might not have a future as a footballer so in terms of someone telling me that I think it was in the September so I had I had the skin I had the nine months later nine months after yeah so we wanted to just wait um to let the body heal in the June in the summer I remember I went on a training camp to Portugal so at the start of the training camp I hadn't run I hadn't jogged I literally just walked and the the brain's amazing the the the the body the the muscle memory was incredible by the end of the two weeks I was pretty much doing everything I was sprinting I was I was running I was doing doing the Lots my mind had cleared in that sense the doctor's advice was a skull needs time to to heal to fuse back together because I've got 12 metal plates in there it needs time to to fuse and get strong again so we'll scan You in September yeah so I come to you in June time you've just finished this couple of weeks on the grass and I said to you are you gonna play again what's your answer on that September no doubt there was no doubts and it was it was all geared towards that scan and the scan I think it it was around the time where it was the first round of the caramel cup um and the game was on the Tuesday I remember on the on the Monday Nigel Atkins was the manager at the time obviously me being me I was fit I felt like I was Stronger than I'd ever been before I said I can play tomorrow um I'm ready and he's like yeah we'll see we'll see so I joined in the training on the Monday I went for the scan that Monday afternoon it was like this is it's not good the the gaps in the skull they're just too big it's the whole whether the pipe had sort of been put in it hasn't fused well enough there was just gaps everywhere and I think at that point the club naturally probably thought he's done um there's no chance he's gonna play again and we had those conversations but hold the the chairman ihab was was excellent he sort of said look we'll give it another six months and and see where you're at then so my mind I'd come from what I'm going to play tomorrow to the next checkpoint was was February and six months time the next scan so I had six months of training on my own um I was going to the hospital four times a week to to oxygen chamber because there was a correlation between reducing oxygen to Bone healing and I've done all this for five months with the end goal that I'm gonna play again in February and give us your mindset at this point then because I've spoken to footballers who have two weeks out with a hamstring strain and they struggle like are we still talking here about optimistic Ryan thinking everything's going to be okay yeah absolutely so at the time so when I when I was coming back the club were in the championship so I'd left Tottenham in got to the Champions League um left Tottenham to go to Whole to pursue my career and sort of grow again and come back to the highest level again by the time I'd come back ready to play again the club had been relegated we're in the championship so for me it was I need three months to just prove that that I'm Ryan Mason and I'm gonna get my Premier League move again or hopefully get hold back in the Premier League but I need to get back to that level it was it was an obsession I I can't I can't play in the championship I'd worked 23 years to be a premier league player I'd I'd got there I'd achieved it I'd had I'd had my Premier League games and I can't be a championship player that's it's not right but let's talk about consistency though because at this stage now we're coming up to what is it over a year since you've had the accident you've had this comeback day that's then been pushed back and I can see the obvious incentive like the outcome of playing first team football again maybe getting a move or getting all promoted but what keeps you going on the like a cold February morning when you're tired you're still six months from a decision of whether you can come back and you you'd have an excuse to stay in bed half an hour longer or decide not to put the full effort in when you go to the gym how did you overcome that resistance dreaming no honestly uh I'm massive on visualization I dream of I say dream consciously thinking imagining certain situations yeah I imagine myself playing for Tottenham again that that was probably the goal I'd left them but oh that was now the new goal to to get back to that level and go and play for Tottenham again go and play for England again so every day I was I was at home or on the pitch and yeah you have these forces images of this this dream to to kind of achieve that this Obsession to to get there I guess so did you have self-doubt or have you learned to push it away because when I'm awake right during the day I'm brilliant at no negative thoughts and then I'm wide awake three nights a week two o'clock in the morning with all the things that I haven't thought about during the day start coming up to the surface and you know as you know they feel much worse in the middle of the night so were you experiencing any of this yeah I mean I am to kind of answer that question I I played for Tottenham my Premier League debut was at 23 which which isn't normal and many opportunities to leave many many chances many clubs come in for me but I believed I was going to play at the Tottenham and I I couldn't accept ever leaving Tottenham without playing for Tottenham in the Premier League so 23 is is quite old considering I made my my debut for Tottenham at 17 in Europa League I went and played in League one at 18 for Yeovil and had a full season there so I had five Four Seasons where it was this end goal this obsession I can't accept anything less I can't I can't accept if I leave Tottenham now then I'll regret that for the rest of my life and I don't like regretting things I don't I don't don't think that's a good thing and if if you go with your gut and if you if you're I say obsessed about something but if you really believe in something then I don't think you'll you'll regret things and I had that when I retired um I mean you mentioned a minute ago about how did you turn up every day and just just keep working on your own well I knew that there might have been a possibility that I retired it was it probably was in the back of my head but I wanted to give myself every opportunity and the day I retired the day I had to retire I I look back and think do you know what not even in these last year my whole career I give everything that to get to where I wanted to I sacrificed everything I don't regret anything I I could accept retiring because I dedicated my life to football to get into the highest level and it was easier to come to terms with retiring because I knew deep down that I couldn't really done any more so how did the retirement come about it was more scans so I had a scan on the the skull but then at that point we we decided you know what I think we need to look at the brain as well and scan the brain and see where that's at and that got damaged quite bad um and that was taking out my hands at that point I spoke to sort of three or four specialist so some professors and they were like look you can't play football again if you do then the risk of dementia goes up to 45 the risk of this goes up to 60 and all of these things these numbers it was like whoa um quite definitive I guess and didn't try and fight it when I heard those no um I just had a child so my son was three or four weeks old and it kind of just made me realize that that you know what like I've got another purpose now now I've got to be a good dad I've got a sauna I've got this this new energy that I can devote to to something else this this whole new world has opened up and the timing was great honestly the the timing of the whole thing if I look back it was it was perfect but one of the characteristics that you said has been invaluable on your journey was the Inner Circle that trusted group of people that you'd learn to surround yourself with how did they react to this news relief yeah massive relief the day I said I had to retire my mom my dad my wife now um it was like a it was a it was a weight off their shoulders um they mentioned it before but they realized that I was so obsessed with coming back that I think they recognized you know what we need to we need to just let him do it we need to we need to support him we need to be there we've said we would rather you not play but they accepted that it was never an option um but they are retired the dad said I retired it was emotional I'm not gonna lie it was it was very emotional for me and my my mum my wife my my dad everyone close to me it was it was tough but once what made you emotional at that point my dreams I weren't gonna achieve my dreams the the new dreams that I'd sort of imagined every day for a year I wasn't gonna have that and it was sad it was sad that I had to accept sacrifice in my whole life to get to a certain level to live this life to to enjoy playing football um that had been taken away from me it wasn't nothing I'd done um because I wouldn't change anything that I'd done in that incident I I would do it again tomorrow um had been taken away from me by by an action an incident that was tough that that was that was hard that was hard I'm not gonna lie it was it was difficult to accept and the months after retiring were were tough because you soon realize that you know what I'm I'm not a footballer yeah take us there it was tough it was it was it was tough obviously like I said I had my son who was this Focus my my wife is just amazing she's been amazing for for everything the recovery the the whole process she was supportive she realized that I needed to go and find something else come find a new obsession um which was golf initially so I learned to play the piano I started taking up golf I was like you know what I need to I need to be good good at golf this is my my new thing and then after time sort of had two or three months away from football it was kind of at this urge to get back in and I spoke to some people at the club John McDermott at a time the academy manager he said look come in get a feel for it and just see where it goes also on all this doctor's advice and all those stats that you were told and the damage to the brain and the gaps in your skull pull of the game was so strong that you still tried yeah Jake I I uh so I grew up playing football in my garden I used to come home and play football break time football at lunch time I'd come home and play football and then my dad or my mom or my family would take me to chigwell to go and train it was this this this Love of the Game this this Obsession where I never felt tired when I was young it was just this Joy of kicking a ball against a war war kicking a ball in a goal in an empty goal and having this dream imagining I'm scoring at whiteheart Lane because that was my dream as a kid to to go and play at White heart Lane and score at White heart Lane that was my dream that was The Ultimate Dream as as a kid and I achieved that which is which is pretty cool that's um something I look back on and he always gives me a good feeling inside but yeah during those moments there was new dreams there was new dreams of coming back to play for England again because I only had one cap I was in sort of four or five squads and I believe I would have played for England again if you ask me now I'd probably be playing for England I'm 31 I'm in my prior mum I would have got more England cap so that was that was the pull that was the pull to to come back and prove that I am I'm a good player see what really interests me in your answer is this phrase you've used a few times about the dream the dream kept you consistent chained on your role in the dream of scarving up white heart line for Spurs was what kept you through that five years of going out on loan from 17 to 23 when you made your breakthrough and I'm interested in the technique of dreaming because all those dreams were almost obvious ones to take when you're on that path of being a footballer but then the world gets pulled to mundier and you've now got to you've got a blank canvas how do you go about dreaming to give you that new Focus because I'm thinking for people listening to this of that maybe are stuck in a career or maybe at an age where this is starting to plot their life ahead I think what you're describing is something with a really powerful technique yeah I think naturally I've always been someone who visualizes so when I was younger I'd done the same thing but tell us about visualization for somebody that's never done it I wouldn't know where to start with it yeah I think I guess it's if you desire something so one how'd you get there but then I guess you've always got rather the end in mind um if you if I wanted to play for England I wasn't going to visualize me going to the gym but four o'clock in the afternoon and grinding and grind for all those difficult times because that doesn't send signals to my but it doesn't give me joy it doesn't give me happiness but if I see myself playing for England putting on that England shirt then makes me come alive it gives you gives you energy so that's that's quite powerful um and it's interesting in terms of dreaming because I when I when I went unresponsive in in the hospital had an outer body experience and I remember Glenn huddle might have spoke about on on one of one of the podcasts and I hadn't ex I had I had this Vision where I was looking down on myself with my wife and two children and at the time we we didn't have kids so I visualized myself I had this dream body experience I had a son I had a daughter and that's what I've got now which is which is really really strange but it was a massive help in my recovery because it kind of in that moment where I diet I guess my body stopped working I was unresponsive the thing that I craved and wanted the most was a family um so that's always in my head it's always in my head even now like I think about it all the time when I go through sort of tough moments or challenging periods oh I've I've got a wife I've got a son and in that I've got a daughter in that moment where everything was lost everything was gone that was my body's way of saying you know this is what you value the most which is it's a massive help to me now a massive help because mentally um yeah nothing nothing's going to phase me they are I'm ready for anything anything that comes in my life I'm I'm really unprepared for anything and I know that whatever happens I've yeah I've got what I always wanted I love that you know what I like about that is we're so defined by what we do aren't we you know the first question you ask anyone you mean oh nice to meet you what do you do and actually you've taken it far beyond just you know just being a footballer to something much more real which is being a parent and you know handing on everything you know to your children and it feels um it just feels so much more real isn't it amazing how like the truth can come to you in the strangest of circumstances massively massively and I mean I read a lot of books I love reading and I think that's why I think naturally for age I I've I've grew quite a bit um I mentioned earlier I probably wouldn't have been able to deal with it three or four years earlier but the awareness that I need to grow I need I need to learn I need to be open-minded it's it's allowed me to to get to this point I guess but having kids gives more responsibilities more challenges and it's tough it's tough because you have so many different roles to fulfill so I I have many different roles in my life to fulfill and it's a challenge and and consciously I need to be so aware that I need to be the best version of me in every moment so I go into the club I'm a coach I need to be the best coach I go home I need to be the best husband the best dad to my kids I'm a son I've got so many different relationships that I need to be present and and very very invested in that moment where it's tough it is tough but I guess that's that's the challenge and if if you want to keep growing and influence people and get inside of people and make people um feel good um and inspired then you have to be present in in all the moments throughout the day so tell us about transition zone because that's a really interesting point around how do you go from an intense role that you have now at Spurs and we'll talk about when it was even the intensity was dialed up even more when you were appointed as a manager to then being able to switch off when you get home and be a great husband to Rachel or a great father to your children how like how do you make that transition I think you work at it I guess um I'm not perfect but I'm definitely trying to work towards that one other thing that uh that stuck out the most was when I when I speak to a lot of managers that have managed the game whether that's currently or in the past one of the big things they always say is which I wish I I've been more present at home I wish I'd have been able to you know be more focused when I get home my my wife talks to me and you know I'm thinking of training I'm thinking of this I've got so many other things in my mind and why does it have to be like that you know why why can't you get home and for those three hours after school with the kids be be so focused and so present on being in that moment and giving them the full you why not why not so how do you do it because it's almost like conventional wisdom now yeah the stories of like football managers just taking the wives to go and watch a reserve game on their anniversary or you hear the stories like you're saying of they sat at home and the wife's talking to them and they're thinking about a challenge I've got the training ground how do you avoid that so on the journey home so I make calls on the way home I speak to people but the second I get on my drive it's I need to switch off now I need to once I get it through that door it needs to be the kids need to wrap my energy um I need to I need to I need to be present I need to be there because the reality is my kids are quite well trained they go to bed at seven o'clock so I have an evening I have an evening with my wife I I get to watch football um Rachel's amazing I get to watch football I get to watch the training from earlier on in a day so it's time to catch up it's time to catch up but when those kids go to bed I can't I can't get that back that time back so it's a conscious effort and and like I said a minute ago I'm I'm not perfect um it's it's not easy it's not easy because the the role I'm in it's very demanding and there's pressure involved but think if I'm aware of of what I'm doing and kind of get into a certain state of mind then why not it's a great mindset to have um I'm interested in when you stopped fighting though for your football career when when was that moment well not that long ago probably two years ago um new retired in I've retired in 2018 the February and so for two years two three years two three years on you've fought for the game yeah I'd say I thought um I used to sometimes join in training when I worked in the academy so I went back I worked in the academy some days I would join in with the under 18s the under 20 threes and what were you secretly thinking I'm good enough good enough to play again I'm I'm in my Prime um I had phone calls with the doc doc Waller Mark Waller who was my whole doctor at the time with probably had a few conversations over the last few years doc do you know what um thinking of coming back and within 10 seconds he shuts me down and that was it and you know that happened probably every two or three months I'd go into my wife and I said Rachel I'm gonna come back I want to go through it all again I need to and she sort of kind of would talk me out of it and then it would be okay and I okay yeah you're right another two months will go along and I train again with the 23s and someone had played in the first team three weeks before and I'd be like you know I'm bettling you I should still be playing um I've got so much more to give in this game and it was these little these little spells where I would fight against it but always once a kind of I got through that that initial sort of thought and those dreams again so that you know what that was that was stupid that was just uh that was just me being stupid and then my mind had sword sort of focus on the next day I guess but there's something around the concept of cognitive discipline service isn't it because the idea of cognitive dissonance says that you can hold two competing thoughts in your head at the same time but you can only focus essentially on one of them you know so you can have the idea of the I'm still riding the footballer and then I'm also around the coach well there's only one of them you can only move in the direction of one so when did you like replace it and be and start to have a more powerful vision of Ryan the coach rather than the footballer I think time was was a good thing um I managed the first ever game at Tottenham Hotspur Stadium the under 18s against Southampton give me this it's different Buzz yeah you don't get as high quickly did you get back into coaching after stopping playing a couple of months a couple of months part-time why did you give yourself such a short period of just love the game yeah love football I love being on the grass I love I love watching football it's it's all I've ever known um yes I have this passion for for playing golf I have this this desire to to be excellent at golf but I spent decades trying to be a footballer I give my whole life to that game and the next two three four decades um I'm gonna love football I know that and there was there was an opportunity to go back to to the club that I loved the club that I do love and work and help people because I've valued so much the people that helped me get to where I got to the influence of certain individuals that are a big part of my life now how they affected me and and got inside of my mind my body and made me feel a certain way who would you call out and there's this and there's some people Alex single thought um John McDermott was was a great help when I was at the club those two were great they were like my youth team coaches so John's not the fa and Alex is at Liverpool is that right yeah exactly yeah so they've gone on to have amazing careers but more importantly they've they've affected so many people in in such a positive way and not just footballers either you know I think back of my best coaches they weren't how they made me have a tactical understanding of the game they were the ones that made me feel a certain way they give me belief they give me confidence they they made me feel energized all of these sort of things I guess that's what makes a good coach how do you influence people you know my my sister my little sister's a school teacher and she's a coach to a certain extent she's just helping kids shape their mind and and trying to affect them so that soon become a passion I wanted to help people I wanted I wanted to be that guy that people sort of pick the phone up to me in in a couple years and say look I'm having this trouble at home or so how do you be that for people then how do you be someone that allows others to grow what do you do I think it needs to come from within I think you need to have a passion for it otherwise it's forced then it's fake and in my environment footballers they smell it if if you're not if you're not honest if you're not if you're not sort of organic and yourself then they'll smell it and I'm sure it's like that and every other form of life um we live in a in a world where it's people skills is connections his relationships and how to impact people I might only I might not see you for another five years Jake and this is this is my opportunity to to form an impression of of who I am and what I am and I guess that's the the passion to to try and influence people and and and and help people yeah but what stands out for me in listening to your whole incredible story Ryan is just how conscious you've been whether that's the footballer you were conscious of how to improve how to make the most out of loan spells or that example in France and as a parent how to be conscious of maximizing the time I'd like you to expand in more detail on how you become that coach that shapes people's lives because I get the Integrity in acting with authenticity piece but I think you're aware of some of the methods that you use to get that emotional connection to make people feel they can run through brick walls and I think there's a lot of listeners that want to understand how you do that so they could do it themselves yeah I mean I guess what comes to my I've been very lucky to be exposed to so many great people uh first of all but then they've been great football people as well um and in my environment I guess I guess it's what you praise what you value um what do you value respect hard work um people who want to listen want to improve because then I feel like you can you can really invest time into them and you can get results luckily for me my mind was shaped by my parents the people that I was exposed to and I think if you're aware of so I'm trying to given a good example but in football so my loan spells get thrown into a new football club go out and loan to to Yeovil you go into a new changing room who are you gonna align yourself with you need to be very aware I guess so what type of person I am I'm someone who wants to work hard um respectful wants a team to do well okay I'm probably gonna naturally gravitate towards those people and then that that becomes contagious you know I a strong believer in in the energy that we give off it's it's so contagious um Misery Loves A friend is a good saying and someone's Down and Down and Out they'll try and find someone else to to bring them down as well and I think you need to you need to you need to find strength some way to to try and focus on positive things and I was lucky I'm very I'm I'm open I'll say that I was probably quiet pessimistic when I was very young but my family is just constantly drilled things into me and to be positive to focus on the good things and to be grateful have gratitude for for what you have got and then it becomes a habit that becomes a way of thinking and then you can you can align yourself with the same sort of people you can you can be open and and sort of try and take things from them to to grow even more or you can you can influence other people and then it just becomes a a way of life I guess so you use that term energy and that's a direct quote that we had when we were lucky enough to sit down with your former manager Mauricio pochettino tell us what you mean by energy because he said that was a big defining factor of his own coaching yes big I mean I guess that's why I played under him um he was one that gave me my debut and I played many games under under Maurizio I think body language is massive so you can you can be aware of what you're doing you can you can tell yourself no do you know what I'm gonna go into this room with my shoulders back my chest up and portray confidence for example or if you're down on something negatives happened try and smile because we're always dealt with with obstacles nothing straightforward in my line of work in my life you know my children get ill that there's things that always challenge us and if if you constantly focus on negative things then that's gonna have effect on on you the people around you your energy how how you how you walk in a room as opposed to okay ever focus on what's positive or how can we get out of this moment what what do we need to do to to get to this state of happiness or this state of real positivity there's small wins that you can get along that along that road let's role play then right when you when you became the Spurs boss who called you Daniel the chairman so after obviously the news had been broken to the management team yeah the chairman we had a conversation Daniel Levy yes so you get a phone call from Daniel Josie Mourinho is gone you're about to become the youngest manager in the history of the Premier League tell us about the positivity and the self-belief and what the Mind does so I've just said those words to you I'd love to know what went through your head at that moment I'm ready wow yeah I'm ready um so what you said to him yeah because if I wasn't I wouldn't have took it I would never have put myself in a position where I felt like you know what this is too much I don't even know if you're ready though you see I think everybody who knows it's a self-belief yeah and optimism like you are one of the most optimistic people I've ever sat and had a conversation with for all the things that you've been through and I think that you know sometimes it's great to just gamble on optimism to gamble on the fact that everything will be great because the truth is you didn't know if you were ready or not how could you you've never done it before no and I think the footballing world probably looked at and thought what are they doing but I'm around the club a lot and that was their feeling that was uh feeling that I've given them I guess they could trust me they had full trust in me because they'd got rid of one of the most successful managers in the world for for many different reasons and it was it was a decision they made and they felt that I was the right man to to take the final seven games um yeah it was it was a big moment but I'd I'd put in a lot of effort to that point I think what a lot of people probably don't see they see a 29 year old managing in the Premier League but I'd coach for sort of three and a half years until that point I took under 16s I'd managed on the 17s on the ratings the under 19s in Europe like I said I managed the first ever game at a new stadium I'd experience a lot I'd spent a lot of time on the grass and I've done the yards to to earn that and feel comfortable to say I am ready absolutely you know that though but when you walk in a room of you know 20 Elite level often cynical Premier League footballers that are really concerned about their own careers and what's this guy going to do for me and is this the right move from the club I'd love to know the first thing you said to the group some of whom by the way would have been your teammates when you were playing at Spurs all those years ago some of them would have been older than you were at the time how did you deal with that yeah the the team weren't in a great place at that point I mean the confidence was extremely low it weren't especially fit so I felt like I had some easy wins straight away so naturally I had relationships with some of the players before they knew what type of guy I was they knew what type of professional I was so they respected me I respected them because we had that relationship but the reality was they were judging me so you address them for the first time you're being judged you're being judged every day in in football you're being judged I guess in every moment in life these these conversations these little appearances you have with people you're being judged so in that moment okay what what do they need what what do they want to hear and had to come from within I guess they had to know that I was I was being real and I showed some sort of passion and you have to deliver you remember what you said yes my job to help you guys um I want the only demand I guess for me was might have been like 100 effort to be all in um and then trust me and the team that will help you and give you a structure on the football pitch to to win games of football um and then we had a game sort of 48 hours later against Southampton was one nil down at half time and I don't think Tottenham had come from behind to win a Premier League game in the best part of sort of 18 months two years and you could feel that I remember I had this I had this sort of team talk in my mind okay how am I going to address them what do we need to do to to change the game train change the momentum and give them confidence and I walked in the change room and talk about that energy the that you give off it was so flat it was like whoa and it kind of kind of struck me that first thing I had to address was what the hell guys that come on it's half time there's 45 minutes left like sit up get your chin up get your chest out there we've got a game we need we need to be ready and you literally said that that was the first message and then then it was look these are a couple of points on the screen you come here and it's how we build up and you need to take this position up to to help us affect the game um But ultimately football is a lot about what's inside well I was going to ask you that round because you because this is coming at a period of your life where you're it's still fresh enough you can remember coming in and being in that dressing room waiting for the manager to come in how much influence do you think a manager really does have at those moments which is half time when the energy is down massive uh yeah that's the manager's job is is probably the biggest part of the job and I look back now and think that half time team talk was probably like a key moment in those six weeks seven weeks whatever it was because I feel that they were like okay yeah he's he knows what he's doing um as as a player you want to feel a certain way so the best coaches the best managers I've played under the best people I've come across they make you feel a certain way describe so what those feelings are that you're looking for belief um free to a certain extent because when we were kids we went and played football we we were free right we had this freedom to go and sort of be instinctive and just run run all day um you were never tired you never got tired playing football as a kid and the best coaches the best people I've come across you have your structure you have your your way of playing this philosophy this this idea of how you want your team to play but you have to transfer energy you have to give emotion give give passion and make the players sort of play how you want to play transfer identity to be intrigued by this I'm intrigued as how do you give the manager and belief and freedom nothing that changes depending on the circumstances the state of games the the feeling the mood around the place the the Run of results but words obviously would probably be one of the the key ones but then how you carry yourself how you say the words as well I mean you could you could read a script of a half-time team talk and go wow that's that's powerful but someone might deliver it and go he's not connecting with me that's that's not real that's not organic and that's just different people's personalities no one's the same no no one I've come across delivers the same message in the same way you have to be you you have to know yourself and and who you are to to be organic you're on the touch line then and you know that somebody says to you around two minutes and then we've got the lads in at half time you one nil down to Southampton you've sensed that lack of energy that's there tell us about how you then go through the process of right this is going to be a critical moment in my managerial career to change it in there tell us how you prepare yourself for it and then what you actually do to transfer that energy yeah so in that in that moment I wasn't aware that it was a critical moment um you're just in the moment you're present and I've done in the hundreds of Team talks up until that point and what I always liked as a as a player was to get back in the changing room and sort of have five or so minutes to sort myself out to go and get a strapping done or go a toilet and just have an argument when one of the players and call someone whatever it was I feel like players probably need that they like that um you let emotion out in that moment or you relax you you deal with it in certain ways and I was very very aware that okay the ladder got five minutes and then sort of go into to the coach's office with with the coaches my trusted analysts at the time and sort of discuss right what do we need to do and what can I show them there was a couple of things I had in mind and we've got some images on the laptop we're gonna go and show them that then you go and address The Lads and it's just you can I think you can plan and prepare in those moments so when you go back into that coach's office right they're gonna have a couple of minutes this is what we're going to show this is what I I want to show what I want to get across but the second you're in front of those Lads it's it's Instinct you you have to go go with it because if it's scripted it's it can become false you can lose the message lose the passion you have for me you have to go with what you feel in that moment um and not hold back because during my winter go Southgate on this and we spoke to him around a quote from when he was with the England set up and um it was one of the England squad that had sort of criticized svengo and Erickson at the time and said at that moment when England played Brazil in the World Cup quarter final that we went to Winston Churchill and we got Ian Duncan Smith and when we put that to Gareth he was he he sort of laughed about it but he said in hindsight now I'm a coach I recognize how unfair that comment is because Sven was just being himself which was calm and and very Placid and logical he wasn't a chopped on pin orator like like we were looking at yeah I agree but then I would also disagree because I think you need to show your teeth at some point so I would say I'm I'm quite as I probably say a softly spoken person I'm I'm very respectful uh I listen to people I hear people out but I'm a different animal on a football pitch when I was a player I was I was horrible I was mouthy I was loud and players they need that but for me um you need to show different things so one moment you might need to you might need to just create noise and and get the players going and shout and scream and and go after some players some players might need that whereas other players they they might not respond to that and and I guess that's the job as a coach to to be aware of how you treat different players in different moments but then how you treat a team in different moments so teams go for ups and downs but I think if you're stable with messages then actually I remember reading when when he first went in ayax Louis van Hall did psychometric tests with his players because he knew that some of them needed an armor on the shoulder some of them needed that we're looking that you need to deliver and everybody had a different approach so he'd be very strategic in how he would do that would you do that kind of analysis on your players to know who can take a bollock in versus who needs a bit of a comforting word yeah I think when you're around people every day for such a long time you need to feel it um personally I think you get a feeling you get a sense I understand you can you can write on a piece of paper how would you react to this and you can you can come to an answer through through a questionnaire but that questionnaire doesn't doesn't take into account how they would react in certain moments on the pitch where there's pressure there's emotion there's there's so much going in in their head they might miss the penalty five minutes before and then they're in a half time team talk the next minute and all of these things I think you need to just go with it what you feel in that moment and part of being a coach a teacher someone who wants to educate people is I think psychologically you need to be very aware of how People's State and wines are um otherwise you might go and now someone when they don't they're not going to respond to that um that's a challenge that is a challenge a big challenge have you ever made the mistake of doing that judging it wrongly absolutely absolutely this is an example you can share with us well in the academy you're you're dealing with teenagers that are going through such a big change in their life they're going through growth spurts or hormones they're going through so many different changes and I remember I sent one player in I won't name his name but I thought his attitude stunk he weren't working hard enough and I just said look just just go in go in you're affecting everyone else go in and later on I went and spoke to him and obviously one to one and tried to to understand why and there were some problems at home and I wasn't aware at the time maybe I would have dealt with it differently I probably would have maybe I would have dealt with him before training and spoke to him and built up that relationship before where I could deal with him in a different way and that was a good learning curve the academy for me was was excellent because you're dealing with vulnerable people at a critical stage in their life to try to shape them because we've got such a we've got such a to say it that the parents trust you so my mum and dad handed me over to Alex John Tim show and all of these coaches and said it's down to you now for the next two years to to shape him and carry on instilling these values that we we've instilled in him and that doesn't change whether you're dealing with a 15 year old 16 year old to a 25 year old through experience with all people we all want to to be treated a certain way and we all want to to connect with others and we might feel like we're respected so you win that first game what's your second one yeah Cup Final against City yeah yeah see this I find fascinating so it's your second ever game as a senior Men's Football Manager and it's a cup final for the club you loved as a kid and there's only one reason why you're managing that team because you fractured your skull on a football pitch a few years before was there a moment where you considered that no no honestly I just just wanted to win I was gutted that it was so soon because it's tough to influence so much in five days is the only thing you can really influence is is a is a bit of belief a bit of confidence and something like that you can help from a structure and a tactical point of view but City or miles ahead of us they were miles ahead of us do you think you could have done anything to win that game could have done anything more could you yeah like when you look at the quality of that team and the quality of your team is it anything you could have done to win it yeah of course like you yeah of course we considered it a set piece now I look back and think could I spend more time on set pieces maybe because they decide a lot of matches they do probably one in three goals in in football come from a set piece so yeah maybe I would have done it differently in that moment it was the right thing for me and I felt like the team were fully prepared so if I'm in that moment again in 10 15 years and yeah I would I would do things differently but what else would you do because I think learning from what you've been through is vital so you know and it'll be interesting I guess for Spurs fans listening to this like what do you think you got wrong on that day and it's a harsh question because it's your second match in charge and as you say it came very quickly but I actually think I've got so much right which is crazy like I look back and see you with the best team in the world at that point they were they were flying um we we grew into the game we suffered for 20 30 minutes we rode our luck which is normal which which can happen in football but we were growing and everything that we we thought was going to happen was happening we was getting a bit more control a bit more possession and we felt like it was going how we wanted to but like I say we conceded a set piece and they were bettling us on the day absolutely so we can accept that um I felt fully prepared for the game as as fully prepared as I could have been when I reflected in the summer and I looked at the work and the progress we've made over sort of six seven weeks I do wish it had come later on because I think oh maybe maybe we could have influenced the game even more because to change a team in six days is wow it's tough it's tough we tried we affected them in in some ways and it was a positive Spell absolutely and for a man whose calling card is optimism self-belief visualization did you visualize getting that job full time and did you believe it was going to come your way because of your natural Outlook no I didn't honestly it was no it wasn't it wasn't the right time it didn't feel right it felt right to to help the club yeah in that moment and I felt like I was the right person to take the team to the end of the season but I needed to grow more I felt like at 29 the first thing someone would say you lose a game is inexperienced he's Young I don't want that excuse it's it's just lazy and I knew that that would happen so I knew I wanted to go but I went back to the academy that's not a normal thing to do to to go and manage the first team for seven games and then six weeks later go and take a a bunch of Scholars that are just coming through the building and just come out of school and have the same energy the same desire to to help them did you absolutely and how was the ego affected by that my ego was was left outside the training ground the day I walked in Back to the academy because it it wasn't about me um I I accepted and I knew that the right thing for me at that time was to go back to the academy so I didn't know that though the feeling it was a feeling and I I didn't want to fight that feeling yeah of course I probably could have pushed and gone you know what I might go and manage a league one club and try and get an interview somewhere and it's opened me up to be a manager but no I wanted to grow I felt like I needed to to grow more I needed more time on the grass and it give me a thirst absolutely but at the same time it made me think I want to get better I need to get better and the best the best place for me to do that was the academy and if I went back to that Academy and had an ego the staff would have felt it but more importantly the players would have smelled it and then I wouldn't have got the results that I felt I did in in that time in the academy amazing and then Antonio Conte comes in and it's probably worth mentioning for people that don't know this but he actually visited you in hospital didn't he he did strange very strange thing um I made my England debut against his Italy side and my last ever game was was against Chelsea when he was the manager he come you see me see my family made a big big impact on my family obviously I was I was out of it but whenever I spoke to my my wife my parents about Antonio it was what a man what he's just a proper man what what a guy didn't have to do it we did um I put on record as well that John Terry came the the Chelsea captain and Willian as well wow proper man the he was the captain and in his mind it was the right thing to do it it was it was a big impact on my family those sort of things so teammates that came look like why particularly what was it that they that they valued one because it's John Terry and his is the Chelsea Captain the England Captain what is achieved in his career but the humbleness to to come and to pay respect and just to say like I hope he's okay simple really simple and Willian at the time I actually spoke to him the other day when we played Fulham and I always wondered why he came it was not in a disrespectful way but I can understand John because when you're a captain you have a responsibility to represent the club in a certain way and my captain at the time was Michael Dawson who is a top top Captain as well but Willian came and I spoke to him after the game it was the first time it had I had this feeling for so long I just wanted to ask him why did you come and I see him at the game the other day and I went over I shook his hand and I just said you come to my bed I've seen a picture don't remember but I see a picture and I said why and he just said uh I wanted to see you as okay and I said thank you I just said thanks um had a big impact on my family it and I look back now and think you know what what what a top man and he may he made it he made me feel a certain way about him without knowing him I competed against him Tottenham Chelsea would competed so much aggression so much passion I don't know the person I've never never met the person but that act of kindness I guess it it made me form an opinion and I see him the other day and yeah he didn't disappoint his yeah proper proper guy and so now your first team coach working with Antonia I'm just so interested in where you fit in the modern game of football because there are so many conversations about aggression and getting amongst them and create fear in the dressing room you know and we sit here with you having a conversation about emotional intelligence and intuition and connection and presence I do feel the game is moving in a direction that allows you to express yourself in this way yeah I do from yeah I do and I guess it's in a different format the game is developing tactically teams are getting better there's no doubt about that the game's getting quicker they're becoming more athletic more robust more endurance but still believe the fundamentals of football are you have to run you have to fight you have to compete it's going to be second balls and all of these these things will always be there they'll look they'll always be there the best the best teams we see are the best teams are the basics the the brilliant Basics and you can affect that and you can affect that in any way you want you can some some groups some dressing rooms they might need tough love they might need to be shouted out they might need fear whereas other dressing rooms might need a different way of connecting to them and that's a that's that's probably what separates the best managers the best coaches understanding that and I have been very lucky and I'm very aware that I'm very lucky I've been exposed to as a player some top top managers but to be working so closely with one now is yes great give us the biggest learnings in from the life with Antonio Conte to to be yourself to be honest to to be to live in the moment don't be scared to show emotion um to show vulnerabilities to all of these types of things the players respect but then also to have an obsession to be the best to work harder than anyone else to to have this desire and transmit this desire that you want your team and you believe your team can can do anything nice so when we go through your whole career and as an aspiring coach the list of legendary coaches that you've worked with are alongside really is is a who's who what I'd like you to do is tell us about who is the best coaches that you've had and what was the one quality about each of them to distinguish them for you so if we start with your very I mean I could go through from under sevens to uh senior level so well see I'm probably gonna cheat your question a little bit here but Chris Ramsey was my youth one of the youth team coaches and he I was physically very immature for my age and I was quite a late developer and the belief that I would be a top player he always said that it'll come it will come keep doing the right things it'll come it'll come it'll come and that just was ingrained in my mind and then you go through like Alex ingelforpe he has these little Little Golden nuggets I guess about like being a goal scorer you're going to be obsessed you're going to score so many goals you're going to play for Tottenham you're going to pay for England you're going to play for Tottenham and I'll stop believing it it's okay stop believing that and all of these little things they they made me feel a certain way so my my Premier League debut under Maurizio I played in the under-21s at the time on the Monday night away at Sunderland because I was coming back for a for a little niggle so at 70 minutes um the coaches said you want to come off there's a game Wednesday I said no I want to play it in 90 minutes I didn't think I was going to play it played the 90 minutes the next day I'll come in and I trained with the first team because I'd been training with them and I was I had so much energy I don't know why it was just I had so much energy and the following day we played Nottingham Forest at home and we were one nil down against the championship side with half an hour to go remember he brought me on he bring me and Harry Kane on and the crowd were a little bit like you heard this grown in the crowd it was almost to say what's going on here um but I scored to make it 1-1 Harry scored uh one of the goals and we won 3-1 and I felt like wow he believes in me and I I asked back now like John McDermott and the coaches at the time they speak and he asked how did Ryan do Monday night this was Tuesday how did Ryan do they said yeah his attitude was incredible um asked him to come off at 70 he said no I wanted to play for 90. he valued that so much that desire to to play that go back to that youthfulness of as a kid you wouldn't want to come off at 70 minutes why would you want to come off for 23 years old playing a game of football some do a lot of people probably would have turned around and gone yeah I'll come off I'll protect myself but that was just that was just me and that was just the way I was and that held a lot of weight with him and he he started me against Arsenal that Saturday North London Derby away from home in the Premier League and I was ready I was I knew I was ready I felt like it should have been years ago but that moment came and there was no doubt I was ready the manager believed in me and it was okay well let's go and show what I'm all about and so what distinguished protesting all them for you that what is it the the one quality that stands out that you think that's why he's a top top manager [Music] many many things this is tough I mean I'm working with a top manager now and there's so many different things that we've got so many different um attributes but for me in that moment it was trust trust and belief lovely trust and belief quite quite simple I guess but the trust that he could play me in such a big game probably our biggest game of the season but then the belief that I could do it and that that gave me a give me a sense of that I can't let him down not in a fearful way absolutely not a fearful way a way of oh I'll I'll do anything I'm gonna run I'm gonna run I'm gonna run I'm gonna do anything to prove that he was right I trust that that I'm good enough but I don't want play a bad game because it looks bad on him so I remember asking Chris Casper uh who played at Manchester United well he felt that answer was about Alex Ferguson and he and his answer was exactly what you've just said he said I just never wanted to let him down you have to shout out me I just didn't want to let the man down which was why I would exhale I think it's really telling that a characteristic so what about someone like Jose Mourinho then I know that you came up and worked with him what was it that you saw in him that has led to such a long time I'll be honest you can see why I won so many trophies with with the best clubs in the world you can see how he he would treat certain people to to get stuff out of them to push them um unfortunately at Tottenham it it didn't end well it didn't didn't work I guess because of how it ended but you could you could always see and tell as someone wired one so much it just it just had something I guess explained that something to the layperson I know you're watching from a distance but it's hard and energy an aura and arrogance right yeah he he came in as a winner and when you come in as a winner that's there that's that's almost you command that respect straight away um and then you have to prove that why you're a winner like I said I wasn't I wasn't sort of exposed to his team talk so I wasn't exposed to all of that but yeah you could tell why with top players and the best players in the world he was able to to push them and and win Premier Leagues and win in in Spain and Italy you could tell so let's talk about the future then like you live so much in the present yet you're someone that visualizes where they want to be like are you ready to go again now if a phone call comes for Premier League management where yeah I mean I'm doing my third child in 10 weeks so my visualization is how we're going to manage three kids only is it is it it's that's that's something to look forward to but no I'll be honest from from a coach's point of view is quite strange because I'm in such an amazing position now I cannot take more off the ball and it would be very disrespectful to stop picturing and imagining other things and I don't think that would be right because then maybe I wouldn't be as good in the moment as as what I am now I I know that everything I'm doing is going to prepare me whenever that time comes whether it's five years ten years whatever we don't know in football there's no plan there's no magic pathway for so anyone Academy players coaches to get to to where you want to I just love football that that's I think that's the that's the the reality of it um I love football I love I love being on the grass I love delivery and I love I love all of it I love all of it and I know I'm I'm gonna have experiences soon that are going to be great they're going to be challenging but the moment I'm in now is is amazing it's a great position I'm in I'm very grateful for it I know that I add value to the club and the coaching team and the players and I want to enjoy this moment because there's pressure in football there's there's always pressure there's pressure as a player there's pressure as a coach as a manager I've felt that I felt I felt it the whole time and you still gotta enjoy it you still gotta you've got you've got to have that love for what you're doing so finally before I quick for our questions if I can rewind the clock to that football pitch on that January day with everything that's happened to you since everything you've learned about yourself and your family and human relationships and the experiences that you've been given sitting here at 31 you know really with the career of a coach probably 41 10 years ahead of your time if I could stop you from going up for that header would you go for it no no yes yes yes sorry yeah I mean I misheard that question absolutely it was the right thing at the time it was it's allowed me to be in this position now that I'm in um I've achieved I've achieved quite a lot um after that I'm a dad of two I'm gonna be a dad of three I'm married I'm happy I live a good personal private life I've got good people in my life is it's opened up different avenues that I wouldn't have been exposed to and expose me to people that I really really value now that maybe I wouldn't have I wouldn't have come across them I mean I'm working with someone now and a coaching team that have impacted me in such a such a good way that no I don't regret anything I wouldn't change anything I wouldn't change wouldn't change a thing the only things that I would change would be in the future because I I can change that I I can be aware that I can I can maybe do things differently I can react differently to certain things but everything in the past is a shape me to to what I am and who I am today so I'm not gonna waste any energy on things that have happened in the past um I've remembered the good things learn from the things that that weren't so good and the tough moments and carry on growing I guess what a story what a story right quick fire questions your three non-negotiables that you and the people around you should buy into respect would would be would be one a good energy uh I like people that give a good energy and then yeah a burning desire to improve to whether that's a footballer whether that's as a person I want to be around people that want to get better and want to grow if you could go back to one moment of your life what would it be or why my goal against Nottingham Forest because it was all I've ever dreamed of to score at White Hot Lane every birthday cake I blew those candles out and wished that I'd score it white art Lane so that moment was was just magic I mean I played for England I I had some other incredible moments I kept in the club in Europe but that specific moment is yeah it always gives me a good feeling what advice would you give to a young Ryan just starting out keep leaving keep dreaming keep going yeah quite simple but believe in yourself and yeah just go for it lovely how important is legacy to you yeah the most important Legacy for me is the Legacy that I leave with with my family my kids their kids because you can affect so many people in this world but I can really affect my kids and I love my kids the bits my wife are that's the Legacy I want to leave we have a high performance book club it's got thousands of members they talk about books they share books they get together if you could throw a book into the mix for them to consider what would you Chuck in there I was gonna say the secret but I think that's been brought up before on here so it's a good one though yeah it's a very it's a very good one it's excellent that's excellent I'd recommend people reading that absolutely um I tried to think of a little bit of a wild card one because I do like reading and there's a book that I read sort of four or five years ago called The Way of the Peaceful Warrior that yes it's it's quite powerful it's quite powerful yeah some sum it up in a sentence the way you look at life the approach the the mental approach to the things you're grateful for um the way you see your life I guess um that would be the in a nutshell yeah and again for our high performance listeners I I I asked John McDermott about about you and I know you've mentioned John in terms of how influential it was about you and one of the greatest compliments he paid was how coachable you were and I think that's a virtue that we don't often talk a lot about being coachable so for people listening to this what other top three tips you would give on being open to feedback that allows you to grow and develop first of all I think what allowed me to get to that point was my my upbringing so I played football my dad took me my parents took me karate I went a boxing club and we used to play cricket so I was exposed to all of these different sort of ways of being taught remember my karate teacher was was so firm same with my my boxing coach it was it was so like disciplined there was no no room for it it was just like look you've got to come inside this box if you don't then then you're out there at the gym so I had all of these different experiences that allowed me to get to that point but it's tough because I was coachable I guess because the upbringing I had my my my mom and dad they they made me see the importance of of listening respect respect people at the time it was always respect your elders yeah and I see the value in that and that was someone who wanted to help me so gotta understand someone who wants to help you and they've given you information and they're spending their time and energy to try to help you why would you not want to listen why would you not take it in if you don't agree that's fine but be open because how are you going to grow if if you're not open and the final question your one Golden Rule really for people to live their own high performance life the final message you'd like to leave people with yeah desire a desire to improve in every aspect of of what you are in every aspect of your life want to get better and work it brilliant you know what I've loved that long conversation actually um it's been amazing to sit in and talk in the way that we have and I think uh like there was definitely you've definitely got something unique and special like your ability to connect and share how you're feeling it's hard to put your finger on it right but I can see how you can walk into a room of teenagers and also a room of chiseled hardened professionals and get them to follow your way because um you connect and that is a rare skill so um I can't wait to see what happens next mate no thank you and thanks for having me on as well I've listened to this podcast so many times and to be on it to have something there that's there for my family for for people close to me it's no I'm very very grateful top man thank you foreign just a quick one to say thank you so much for watching this content on the high performance Channel we would love it if you would subscribe you know most people that watch what we do don't subscribe if you can subscribe we can make this bigger better Bolder than we've ever done before so hit subscribe right now and help the high performance podcast make a real difference to the world see you soon

Channel: High Performance

Views: 188,156

Keywords: Football, Podcast, The High Performance Podcast, Jake Humphrey, Damian Hughes, Liquid thinker, ryan mason, tottenham hotspur, hull city, gary cahill, head clash, premier league, antonio conte, mauricio pochettino, tottenham coach, tottenham manager

Id: 3GyZpy_Gukc

Length: 87min 30sec (5250 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 15 2023