[Subtitles by danielsangeo] Hey! Welcome to an overtime Halloween
episode of the Game Dungeon. Now this was originally going to be
something leading up to the big event, but we all got tricked this year and
we're getting a stand-in instead. Y'know, the great Groucho Marx grew up poor and told a story before about how
his brother Chico was always gambling and pawning off things in
the house to get more money. So even though he had a
job in a paper factory, he never brought home any money
because he was gambling it all away. So one day, his father said he'd
better bring his salary home this week or he was going to kill him. So when payday rolled around,
Chico shows up in apprehension, and instead of his salary,
shows up with toilet paper, a luxury they had never seen
before--they used newspapers. So what I'm trying to say here
is this episode is toilet paper. The show got TP'd for Halloween. This was originally going to
be part of the sampler pack, but it just sort of
grew into its own episode. And if this isn't the perfect title
for this situation: "Death's Hangover". So with that, welcome to the
Halloween hangover episode. "Death has a hangover. A really bad one. "Bastard Dracula has stolen souls. "Only two dead morons can bring them back. "If they fail, Death will kill them again. "As they enter Bastard Dracula's castle..." Uh... I'm not sure our intro really
explained what's happening, but it tried. All right. New game. Let's go. This is a "Breakout" game, but we
have a plot, and story progression, and a "Castlevania"-theme
going on here. Works for me! I also want to mention I got
this on sale for 50 cents! The market has to be bloodthirsty
for that kind of price. Okay, let's begin. "I'm alive again! Time to fight evil! "I wonder why Death chose
these bodies, though..." Yeah, so our protagonists
are resurrected as women. This is kind of weird, but whatever. Our developer obviously has
some sort of vision here. Anyway, what I find more interesting is that the ball is the dumb guy
rolling around inside of a shell. I'm a fan of using your
sidekicks as projectiles. ["Little wooden boy! You take that one!"] ["Get help! Please! My brother's
dying! Get help! Help him!"] Yeah, that doesn't get old with
me. So we're off to a good start. The first few levels are
essentially tutorials. Bash blocks, bash enemies, get powerups. It's your standard Breakout
or "Arkanoid" gameplay. Before the boss, though, we get cutscenes! "Look Andy! I'm B-Batgirl!" "Bats are stupid." "Y-ye...! Ba.sh are sh-sht...pid." And here's the boss. It's a bat! And I was forgetting to use my
powerups so I did this the hard way. Die, bat! Yes! This game understands
how to end a boss fight! And this level fanfare music at the
end sounds really familiar to me. [music] I'm thinking it's really similar to
either a Super Nintendo or an arcade game, but I can't place it. And on we go, now to the sewers. Okay, I think what happened here is the developer was worried
that making this a Breakout game, and gender-swapping the heroes, wasn't
enough to distinguish it from Castlevania, so there was a brainstorming session. "What do we have that Castlevania doesn't?" "I've got it! Barrels and barrels of shit." So I guess this makes the second game
on the show to be overflowing with shit. I don't plan for this to be a
trend. I promise. It just happens. "I wouldn't want to meet the
monster that made THOSE shits..." Yeah, they're bigger than a
man by the looks of things. I do like how the flow of sewage changes
the trajectory of the ball a little bit. I appreciate details like that. Anyway, we continue onward and it's
really nothing you haven't seen before, just more barrels of shit. That's gotta be a shitty job,
packing the shit into the barrels. Actually, why would they even do that? Did you know that there's an
accessory coming out for VR to simulate smells in games? No thank you. "Oh look! Another room of shit.
Well, you know what to do." "Death told me there's
a shit-monster ahead..." "A s-shit monster. He must be real shit!" I feel like now's a good time to just
stop and reflect on your life choices. I dunno, I just suddenly had that feeling. And it's a shit-monster! I'd say it's pretty par for the
course, all things considered. [evil laughter] Okay, time for a powerup! BOOM! Yeah, "Keep Out". Just in case
people decided to wander in here. "You really stank that
place up! Good job, boys." Yeah, hard work is its own reward, huh? Okay. Next it's on to the pervert monks. They don't say WHY they're perverted, but y'know, a story doesn't
have to answer every question. It's just a bunch of cultists and fireballs. "I want to be a pervert monk, too!" Bob would make a good cult
follower. I'd let him join. Anyway, we fight a giant summoned head. It awakens...Damn! And the plot twist is it was
really a reptilian thing. All right. Off we go! From here, it's more of the same, with
just with a different theme for each level. I do like how the crematorium
has breaking up piles of bodies to carve a path to the exit. We
could use more of this sort of thing. For our boss, we get the
World Maggot from GWAR. [music] Now I'm okay at Breakout
games, but I make mistakes. When you run out of lives, you
get a chance to spin the wheel and use souls you've collected
for a powerup. I feel like I should get more for my
souls, but, y'know, it's a buyers' market. Next, we trudge through a
sorceress turning people to stone, and a library infested by spiders. And the game is getting
harder, but look at this. These spiders block things off for you. What was I supposed to do here? If I lose the ball, I die.
If I go for the ball, I die. I had a close save like this earlier,
but this is happening more than I'd like. Next up are the castle ramparts where
you can send the ball over the edge. Aghh... Again, what was I
supposed to do here? Oh, come ON! See, here's my issue with this game. It's kind of old school in its design. This is an ancient concept in video
games, but some powerups just help you, others completely change
the difficulty of the game. So if you're doing well, you can get
upgrades that make the game WAY easier, but if you die and lose them, not
only are you back to square one, but it's even worse, because you were
used to having the powerup advantage and your brain hasn't adjusted
to having nothing again. So the better you're doing
the easier it gets, but if you make a mistake then the
game kicks you when you're down. So it's kind of like real life. When you have a system like that, combined with crap like this where
there's no way to avoid what's coming, unless you're a trajectory god where you knew everything that
was going to happen back here. If you're like that, you shouldn't
be playing Death's Hangover. You should winning pool tournaments instead. "This damn walkway is as
unstable as you, Bob!" "You're hurting my feminine feelings." "We're not women, you idiot!" "You're so mean, Andy." See, look. Now I can catch the ball
and these ramparts are nothing. Nothing at all. The exact same area that burned
through my lives couldn't be easier. And we make it to the top,
to Dracula's chamber. Ooooh! Oh, I need souls to open the door? So I'm down two souls, exactly what I
spent re-rolling to get back in the game? Oh that's cute. Damned if
you do, damned if you don't. Well, we get to keep playing. Death's pissed about this, too,
and now he's taking it out on us. Oh, that's great. Avoid! AVOID! How am I supposed to avoid this? DAAH! No, no! C'mon! C'MON! Oh, I have unlimited continues. I never should've spent the
souls in the first place. Well, back through the grind,
and on to Death himself. I was a little slow to figure this out,
but you have to go for his hands first. Otherwise, he uses that hourglass to
heal himself and you'll be here forever. He's not too bad b--whoa, what killed me? Okay, let's rewind. What
does the slow motion say? I don't know! I guess that hitbox
isn't playing around! Shit... Well, let's skip ahead a bit. BOOM! Smash your hourglass!
That looks pretty cool. All right, I'm coming for you, Death! Yeah! Uh-oh. Into the time vortex we go. "You idiots! You broke my hourglass!" "Weeeeeeee!" "You're just upset we beat you, Death!" "YOU TWO MORONS! YOU HAVE NO IDEA! "WE'LL BE STUCK
IN THIS TIME LOOP FFFOREVERRR! "SHHHIIITTTTT!" And he is not kidding. Here
we are, back at the intro! We're trapped in this game forever! WUAH! See, Castlevania would have you
believe beating Death is no big thing. But you do that, you're taking
reality into your own slippery hands. So we HAVE to beat Dracula,
that's the only way out of this. The moral of this story is you have to kill
vampires. That's just all there is to it. So we'll start a new game
and climb the castle again! Boop-ba-bop-dee-ba-dee
dee-dop-ba-dop-bop-dee-dop. This time, there was a side route that involved a tentacle
monster in the aqueducts. Not anymore! Bop-ba-doo-wee-beep-bop-badda-bo p. And here we are, with the
souls, opening the chamber. Muhahahaha! Inside is a sterile blueprint looking room. It continues on and eventually
we find dead clones of ourselves. Oh, that's a good sign. And it's another endless loop! It
goes on forever! Dammit, Death! Okay, after a small existential
crisis, I figured out the trick. You have to get THIS center
box here to drop the key. See? I missed it the first time. Then you go through the loop again. Then you get to kill the witch...uh, again? Seriously, I killed her back
here. Friggin' witches... But we get her. "Andy? I don't feel so good." And I'm down to Dracula with
no lives. Will I make it? Nope. Okay. More endless looping fun. Nyehh... All right, down to Dracula with THREE lives. Oh god! He's messing me up! No lives! Again! NYAAAAH! All right. I think I've
figured out his pattern. I just have to... BOOM! Yes! Perfect! That's
exactly what should happen! "Great, we're back here
again... Where's Death?" "Bastard Dracula is defeated! I'm free! "The prophecy was he would
be killed by two girls." "So that's why you chose these bodies.
When do we get our real bodies back?" "I'm going home to my family now,
boys. Take care! It was a blast!" And that's it. We're Death
now, except not really. All right, so, uhh... Oh! An extra ending! It doesn't really say anything, just Andy realizing clones
of himself isn't a good sign. I figured out what they're doing here. See, look. They want me to unlock
the full super-secret ending. They want me to play this
at least eight more times, probably in a special way for each. No. No, that's not happening. They do have an adventure mode now,
which is the same as the regular one, but with a side-scroller portion that
was even worse with the cheap deaths. Now for any obsessive-compulsive
types, best I can tell, nobody's revealed these endings online. So you have your work cut out for you if
you HAVE to know what really happened here. I blew up the castle. I'm good. I've had someone with OCD before call me
a bad influence. They're probably right. Well, this was definitely worth my 50 cents. Normally the game's five bucks. You can't always grab these
predatory sales like I did. Oh, and I almost forgot. Let's back up. The prophecy was Dracula
would be killed by two girls. I haven't heard that one before; I
thought it was a stake through the heart, y'know, cut off the head. But that's the explanation
for the gender-swap? I see what they're trying to do here. They're trying to be like
the witches in Macbeth, with a twist on the prophecy, saying he
can't be killed by a man born of a woman. Except there's no twist here. We never
had this reference to start with, there was no clever reason
they had to be women, they're just dumping a prophecy
in our lap in the end credits. This game thinks it's
Macbeth. It's not Macbeth. Yeah, there we go. All right. That's about all I have to say. Have a happy Halloween recovery, and watch out for endless loops-- loops--loops--loops--l-- [music] Hey! Welcome to an overtime Halloween
episode of the Game Dungeon. Now this was originally going to be
something leading up to the big event, but we all got tricked this year and
we're getting a stand-in instead. Y'know, the great Groucho Marx grew up poor and told a st--
I was tempted to buy this game when it was on sale, but since I don't really care about breakout clones, I've passed.
However, the developers must be completely nuts, because they're pushing out one game after another, but always something different - which sometimes doesn't go well, there is a price for their crazy experiments, but I can recommend Super Trench Attack 1, it's a decent game. Also Spy who shot me, their newest one, is very unique. Certainly some creative people (or one very productive lunatic) behind the studio.
What was the vertical scroller around 7:10?