Romans #29 - Rebels with A Cause: Stop Your Selfishness?

[Music] he's super good to see you i sure love you it's so good to be together as god's people amen all right so we're in romans chapter 13. if you've got a bible go there we're taking about a year going through this amazing epic book of the bible if you're new let me catch you up chapters 1 through 11 are primarily about our relationship with god through jesus christ and then chapters 12 through 16 where we find ourselves are primarily about our relationships with one another and the point is that god loves us so we could love each other god forgives us so we can forgive one another god has a relationship with us so we can have relationship with one another god wants all of his relationship with us to flow through us to aid us in our relationship with others now in chapter 12 verse 2 which is sort of the hinge that the book swings on he said there really are two options to be conformed to the pattern of the world or be transformed by the renewing of the mind and those are the big themes that dominate romans 12 through 16. and for those who do not know the lord jesus christ their only option is to be conformed to the pattern to the world for those of us who do know the lord jesus christ there is a much better way of life a second way of life and that is to be transformed by the word of god through the spirit of god in the renewing of our minds and so we're going to talk about today is how to be transformed versus a world that is seeking to have you be conformed and what the underlying issue really is is selfishness are we going to live out of love for god and others or just exclusively solely for the self so let me just unpack selfishness a little bit and that is that we are conceived with a sin nature which means you just start selfish okay how many of you are parents right did you need to teach your kids how to speak yes or no yes how to eat with a fork or spoon yes or no be selfish did you need to teach them that no that's the only thing they knew the only thing a child knows is how to be selfish everything else they need to learn that's inherent in their sin nature then we grow up and when you're little you can't do anything for yourself so you're innately selfish so your parents take care of everything now the whole prayer and goal is that you would become a responsible person and then take responsibility for others but if you don't make that transition you just stay selfish your whole life well then a kid grows up little children true or false i mean we love them we love all your kids they're adorable but they're selfish so uh true or false a little kid is selfish they just start they never look at their parents like how are you doing how could i pray for you dad seems like money's tight how could i generate revenue to help lift that burden mom i notice the dishes are dirty and the house needs vacuuming could you please give me additional chores i would love to serve and i'd love i'd love to be a source of joy and bird lifting for you mom and if you have that kid you got a miracle okay but that's most kids are something we hit the teen years teen years are well are they selfish oh yeah teen is the greek word for selfish it's just total selfishness you don't think about anyone except for yourself and you make decisions that are very short-sighted then you hit your 20s in your 20s you leave your parents house you go get a condo you go drink in old town are you selfish or not yes the 20s are the most selfish years you don't have to think about anyone or anything you don't live with your parents you don't have a spouse you don't have kids you eat what you want you drink what you want you get up when you want you watch what you want around 30 then this is being conformed to the pattern of the world around 30 you're like i need to get married that'll fix my selfishness no it doesn't now we just have a witness to your selfishness that's all we have now it can hold up in court and so what happens around 30 is two selfish people get married and what happens they're very disappointed with this they're like oh i thought i thought you'd be less selfish well now that you bring it up i was kind of thinking you'd be less selfish i thought you'd take care of me well i thought you'd take care of me you're both right you're both evil you both need jesus okay so then what happens is you decide you know what let's add a kid that'll fix it so two selfish people their whole life out of kid if you don't think you're selfish have a kid that will prove that you are selfish because what a child does they test all of your patients now i love we've got five kids we love kids but true or false they just show how selfish you are yeah because they don't sleep anybody who said sleep like a baby has never had a baby they don't know what they're talking about they should say sleep like a teenager that's that's really what they're up at the crack of lunch those people and then what happens is the child is a constant inconvenience and expense right so like here's here's what i know about a child they have a they have a innate sense to not throw up until you're leaving the house and running late that's when they throw up they're they're like snipers they're like i'm just waiting for the shot waiting for the shot waiting for the shot okay dad mom are running late they're all packed we're going out the door and you're just like mom's wearing it now we got to start all over now now you got to change them and got to change yourself and then you put them in the car you put them in the car seat and then they crap themselves they just deal with with a level of force that is shocking for their size like it's on their head and you're like how much psi are you able to push in that small frame then it comes to the front seat it deploys the airbag now we got to get the insurance company involved like it's catastrophic oh true or false true and so what happens is we just live in this world where we are selfish and we keep thinking that at the next season something is going to change let me tell you nothing changes until you're served by the lord jesus who is the most unselfish person who has ever lived he takes away your sin he gives you a new nature new heart new desires and then he teaches you how to be served by him and how to serve others and that's really what we're going to learn how to live in love versus selfishness and how to live in the spirit instead of the flesh and let me just preface it by saying as we get into this sermon a friend of mine always says the best way to use the bible is as a mirror and not his binoculars so as we get into this some of you are going to use this text as binoculars you'll be like this is a really good sermon for my wife it's also a really good sermon for her husband okay so the point is this use this text of god's word for you before you use it for anyone else and he's to start by telling us the difference between our selfishness which is being conformed to the pattern of the world and learning to live in love which is being transformed by the renewing of our mind so he says this in romans 13 7 through 10 and he's going to give us sort of three checkpoints to look in the mirror and ask ourselves how am i doing in living in love and living in the spirit he's going to look at our our money our honor and our love pay to all what is owed to them taxes to whom taxes are owed revenue doom revenue is owed that means pay your bills respect to whom respect is owed honor to whom honor is owed owe no one anything except to love one another for the one who loves has fulfilled the law for the commandments you shall not commit adultery you shall not murder you shall not steal you shall not covet and any other commandment are subbed up in this one word quotes leviticus you shall love your neighbors yourself here's the key with love love does no wrong to a neighbor see what we do in selfishness we use people love is where we serve people therefore love is the fulfilling of the law and so he's saying okay let's look at living in love versus selfishness selfishness is what do i get what do i gain how do i benefit what's in it for me love is i want to do what is best for you you can't be a good christian unless you live in love you can't be a good spouse unless you live in love you can't be a good parent unless you live in love you can't be a good friend unless you live in love and some people they will act loving but they're really not loving because what they're looking for is the benefit for themselves and that is using we live in a world that uses people very rarely loves people and so he starts by looking at our finances which may seem like a strange place but when you look at your money it really tells you where your priorities are and what your first obligations are and so jesus says where your treasure is your heart is so if you want to know where your heart is look where your treasure is and if you want to change where your heart is change where your wealth goes and we tend to think that our money and our love have nothing to do with one another and here's the big idea we either love money and use people or we love people and use money that that giving is one way of loving it's through generosity and so what he asks are these kind of questions number one well let me just say this some will inappropriately use this scripture to say that no christian should ever have any kind of debt you may have heard that that is not true in matthew 5 42 jesus says do not refuse the one who would borrow from you what jesus is saying is if somebody needs to borrow something feel free to lend it to them so the bible is not against lending to people or taking on debt but it is against taking on inordinate debt and or not repaying that debt so the question would be uh first of all your tithe you know are you giving to the lord what is the lord the first ten percent the first fruits uh forbes and wallethub have said that arizona is the least charitable state in america congratulations you're number one bad news wrong list okay that's where we find ourselves because we tend to be libertarian which is you take care of you i take care of me and if you annoy me i carry a firearm for you that's arizona okay that's arizona and so we don't have a sense of responsibility for the well-being of others but first and foremost ty the second is taxes are you paying your taxes and for those who would say well i'm not sure you should you should i do know a few guys who didn't think that they needed to pay their taxes this is not a joke this is a fact they're in jail so if you're watching this from prison the word for tax in the greek means tax okay so if you don't pay your taxes here's the deal you're going to jail you'll do prison ministry from the inside which is not the ideal way to do prison ministry so pay your tithe pay your taxes and then what i would call offerings so the bible talks about ties taxes and offerings tithe is what you owe to god taxes is what you owe to government offering is something above and beyond that so that you can love people you can serve people you can meet tangible needs one of our families great joys is giving we love to give we've been big givers our whole life we see 10 as a floor not a ceiling and my kids growing up we're always looking for ways to meet tangible visible needs can i buy you lunch do you need help with this do you need help with that does a single mom need a car do you need groceries and what it allows by allowing margin in your budget you're allowing margin to love others and to meet practical visible daily needs and that's one way of loving one another and then he talks about not taking on inordinate debt and let me say this that this is not something we're particularly good at as americans number one category if you could guess number one category of american to have significant credit card debt in percentage to their income young women in their 20s they're like i gotta get my hair done my nails done i gotta get some shoes i gotta get a dress so that i can meet a guy who has a job that likes to pay off credit card debt right that's the uh i like to let that a lot of the guys are like oh my gosh that's my girlfriend oh you just got a revelation okay but what happens is we tend to rack up debt and what in the triple debt for those of you who are younger this is what i always tell my kids watch out for credit card debt and then watch out for car debt and watch out for college debt that's the triple threat debt that's what that is okay so immediately when you reach a legal age they send you a credit card and all of the fine print is very i don't know but the percentage rate is about the same as blood money with the mafia that's where your percentage rate is at so you rack up credit card debt and then you go and you buy a car now you rack up car debt as soon as you drive it off the lot it's no longer worth what you paid for it you're already in a depreciation state and then you go to college and they're like we'll give you free money let me tell you this it's never free and eventually the bills come due so now you're in your 20s and now you've got triple debt now you're going to work for years to get up to zero which is very discouraging and then if you marry someone they're also in a hole and you're both working for years to get up to zero and what that does it means that the borrower is slave to the lender to quote the bible and what that means is now you're enslaved meaning your master your creditor you're better they are now in the sovereign position in your life and they determine your decisions there are people who say well i would love to spend more time with my spouse or my kids but i can't because we got to pay off our debt and as a result i need to take a job that requires too many hours or i have to travel or our schedules don't coordinate or i would love to spend more time with my kids and go to their games and be there for dinner but i can't because of our lifestyle and our debt ratio we're in a position that we're not free to do so here's the deal there's a big difference between your income and your quality of life just because you make more doesn't mean you will live more okay because we live in scottsdale and you look around you're like oh my gosh these people have a lot of money let me tell you a little secret some of these people have a lot of debt that car they're driving they are in debt that house they're living in they are in debt the lifestyle that they're funding the country club membership that they're owing all of that is debt they are in serious pain they're living beyond their means they're over their skis and every day for them is this anxiety of trying to generate enough revenue to survive it's a lot better to live with less and have a higher quality of life because there is a big difference between your self-worth and your net worth there's a big difference and what he's saying is live within your means and if you take out debt credit card debt maybe a capital loan for a bank or a mortgage you're trying to start a business make sure you're paying those debts and that you're working toward debt free because what god wants you to be is free if god comes to you and says hey your spouse needs you your kids need you there's an opportunity for ministry here i just want you to have a healthy life that you enjoy with the people you love you shouldn't have to look at god and say god i wish that were possible but i have chosen another lord and that lord is now ruling over my life and i can't do the things that the lord is inviting me to do because the other lord has supplanted you in superior position and i love you with all my heart but part of the reason that we're not able to love people is because we haven't managed our finances and we don't have the time energy and margin to love them because we're too busy paying off debt that we should have never obligated ourselves to in the first place and so this is part of it some of you want to love more but you've architected your life and your finances in a way that you simply cannot and let me say this too while you're at it let the government know that it's not good to have too much debt our our country now owes 28 trillion dollars i wrote it down i mean when i was a kid we would always do this thing where we'd count and then somebody'd say infinity uh 28 trillion is beyond infinity i think it's on the other side of infinity what that is is that's 85 000 for every american that's our debt okay that's our debt uh my son uh recently he's like hey dad show me his phone he's like the government just put 1400 in my account what how did they get your accounts i don't know true or false giving 1400 to every 19 year old is probably not the best fiscal decision i don't know man could go either way yeah it's not a good decision because here's the thing we think if we give people money we will fix their life you give people money it does nothing unless you give them wisdom you can give a person wisdom that has no money and they will figure out money you can give a person money and if they have no wisdom it will benefit them in no way it actually might just increase their pain he also looks not only at our finances but then honor loving people and he's talking here about loving people that are in authority over you and we tend to be a people because we're americans and because we're protestant because our nation was founded you know through conflict and because our commitment as protestants was forged through conflict we tend to have a natural suspicion about being under authority and honoring it but let me use jesus christ as an example okay jesus was perfect were his parents no do you imagine how rough it would be to be jesus mom and dad you're like jesus we're upset with you you'd be like well whose fault do you think that is i mean like i noticed you got a wooden spoon feel free to use that on yourself you know if we have a problem i know who the problem is i mean it's tough to raise a perfect gift and it'd be tough to be his brother right to walk in like whose fault is it can't blame jesus you know i guess it's me again so so it says in luke 2 that jesus submitted to his parents so jesus is perfect submitting to imperfect authority the point is this that authority doesn't need to be perfect to submit to it and you and i are surely not perfect and this is one of the reasons and excuses we give for not obeying or honoring authority like well they made a mistake well every authority is imperfect but even perfect jesus submitted to imperfect authority if perfect jesus can submit to imperfect authority then we who are imperfect should submit to imperfect authority and what this is this is honor let me tell you this honor of authority is something that is tested when you disagree that's how you know you're honoring when you agree you're not honoring you're agreeing agreeing is easier like you're right because you agree with me and i'm brilliant so congratulations honoring is when i disagree but you are in authority therefore i am going to honor submit to he says here respect that authority so honor is tested and you don't know whether or not someone is honoring until you have your first disagreement or conflict every boss will tell you this they're like i hired them they were great until we disagreed and then it went crazy well that's that was the test of the honoring okay the bible says rebuke a wise man he will thank you rebuke a fool and he will hate you the point is you don't know who you're dealing with until you have the conflict okay in addition honoring is not just what you do when someone is present but when they're absent a lot of people will honor when they're in the room when you leave the room then the trash talking begins you've seen this at work and let me submit this to you this is really important in a family system sometimes mom or dad will speak well of mom or dad when mom or dad are present when one of them leaves in front of the kids all of a sudden there is negativity that is poured into the children critique or criticism that is poured on the children and what that is that is discipling the children to dishonor authority which is ultimately sawing off the branch that you sit on as a parent you're actually harming yourself long term and so for us it is okay how am i doing at honoring authority now what this means is you have two options let's say you're in a job and you don't agree with the leadership or the directions or the decisions you can honorably respectfully seek to affect change if you can't affect that change then you can stay and honor the decisions or you can leave but if you leave how should you leave honorably either stay and work for change honorably or stay and submit to decisions honorably or leave honorably leave because the key is this to have a good beginning you need to have a good ending for things to begin well here they need to end well here and so you want to honor here work with integrity and if you do transition so let me just say this if your kid's in a school and you're like you know what i can't trust the leadership in school i don't like the decisions that they're making i can't stay here in good conscience then honorably go find another school if you're in a business and you can't you know agree with the mission statement or the cultural values then honorably leave and find somewhere else to work if your kids on a sports team you're like i don't like the coach i don't like what they're doing i don't like the way they run this thing then honor while you're there and then leave honorably and find another option for yourself okay so he talks about love looking at your life how are you doing with your finances how are you doing with your honor and then he really bottom lines it getting directly into the issue of love and he's telling us that the one debt that will never be paid and i hope you pay off all your credit card debt your college debt your school debt and your mortgage and if you don't know how to do that by the way find a guy named dave ramsey i've met with dave a few times been to his office actually really like him he's a really good guy he helps people especially christians figure out how to pay off their debt if you want to figure out how to do that my whole prayer and goal is that you would pay off your debt but the one debt that we will never repay is love every day we get up there's somebody else to love there's another way to love love there's always more love and so when they came to jesus and they're like all right summarize everything in the old testament he said here it is bottom line love god love people love god love people right paul follows this romans 1 through 11 love god chapter 12 through 16 love people paul architects all of romans on the simple teaching and summation of jesus when it comes to love the new testament is written in the original language of greek i won't pretend to be a scholar i use the tools but in the greek language they have multiple words for love fellaio is friendship so like the philadelphia is the city of brotherly love which is crazy if you've been there a lot of people are getting shot i mean they they need to they need to study the greek word that's what they need to do okay but phileo is friendship eros is romance it's the erotic romantic and then there is agape which is a decision of the will where you love someone because it's the right thing to do whether or not they deserve it and for the greeks that was the highest version of love and that is the word that paul uses here so let me say this love is not predicated on you but it's predicated on him okay and somebody said i can't love them no no he loved us first before we loved him therefore we loved them the way he loved us which means we love them before they're lovely or before they're lovable and there will be decisions because love is sometimes a feeling but it's always an obedient action love is sometimes what you think or feel but it's always what you do and so ultimately the bible commands us to love people that we don't feel like loving it says i love our enemies how many of you don't feel like loving your enemies let's just be honest okay how many of you are married the bible says husbands love your wives and wives love your husbands how many of you have been married for more than 15 minutes and you've found a place where you just didn't feel like it you ever look at yourself i'm not feeling like loving you finally we agree on something okay so in those moments can you still love one another you can you can make a decision of the world because let me say this love doesn't come from you it comes from god through you this is where he told us in romans 5 i think it's around verse 8 that god has poured out his love into our hearts through the holy spirit whom he has given us if love needs to be something that is in you that they earn then it's impossible to continually love if love is the nature of god god is love and he pours out his love unto you by the holy spirit now as a christian you have a supernatural ability to love others with god's love and it doesn't even need to start with you it starts with him you're like okay god you give me this love i'm going to share it by treating them the way that you have treated me let me say this about love it's the one thing that would change everything our whole world would be totally different if there was just more love right we'd have less war we'd have less divorce we'd have less crime we'd have less conflict we'd have less distress we'd have less emotional brokenness we'd have less broken families and 98 of what's on the internet would disappear if there was just love and the truth is this that everyone knows this but the question is who's going to go first no one looks at the world and says you know the problem is too much love oh my god we should back off we all know what the problem is but we're all waiting for someone else to go first so what he's saying is don't be conformed to the powder in the world waiting for everyone else to be loving be transformed by the renewing of your mind and in your areas of influence be an agent of god's love and affection and the bible tells us as well that we should love our neighbor as ourselves first thing that assumes is we love ourselves we just do and that it starts with those who are nearest us and we start talking about loving others we can start to think of all the ways we can love people let me say this start with your nearest neighbor my nearest neighbor her name is grace okay it doesn't make any difference if i love the nations and i don't love my wife right love starts with my neighbor she's my nearest neighbor down the hall from us are our children so they are my next nearest neighbor and the point is simply this that to some degree everyone is our neighbor but who is in your life that needs god's love who has god appointed to pass your path so that his love could flow through you to them and sometimes we think about love and we think about all these people but don't don't look over the people that are in front of you look at the people that god has placed in front of you and let me say this when it comes to love his summary is simply this there are a lot of commandments in the bible but there's a big difference between the letter of the law jesus says and the spirit of the law the letter of the law is don't commit adultery and don't kill anybody and jesus is going through some of the ten commandments that's the letter of the law the heart of the law is love the motive behind all of god's laws and commands is love that leads to life and health and human flourishing to god's glory that's the entire point that's the entire heart behind all of god's laws so i'll give you a story that comes to mind and the point is simply this that sin and love cannot co-exist if you're sinning it's because you're not loving if you want to stop sinning focus on loving i had a conversation some years ago that comes to mind one of the most uh godly older men saints i've ever met in my whole life incredible respect for movement leader church planning network like incredible godly man and he looks like the grandpa from up i mean i mean so i'm like so you're like that's the guy right there he's the guy and so i'll never forget his kids spoke well of him him and his wife are adorable together they've been together i don't know 50 years 60 years i don't even know they hold hands they pray together they're cute they flirt with each other total life goals they love jesus you can just sense the presence of the spirit of god in their midst and i was talking to him one time i was like how how do you avoid sin how do you obey god's commands how do you pursue a life of of character and fidelity how do you do it and he looked at me long pause and i'm expecting like the heavens to open and seeing angel wings and maybe hear a harp like here we go he looks at me he goes i have no idea like if you don't know i'm a dead man i was like well he's like what do you mean i was like well how do you stay faithful to your wife and manage your finances be emotionally healthy and love people and forgive your enemies and you know do everything that god says he looks at me says i have no idea i've not really thought about it i said well what the heck i said what do you do he's like i just spent a lot of time with jesus he said i i get up and i talk to jesus and i sing to jesus and i pray in the spirit to jesus and during the day i i talk to jesus some more and i think about jesus some more he's like i i really don't think about all the stuff i'm not supposed to be doing i just think about jesus and i thought you know what that's the answer i can have the list of all the things i don't need to do or i can spend time with the one who will keep me from doing them i never met anybody i was like i was hanging out with jesus and i ended up in vegas with a neck tattoo hung over married to a clown i don't know what happened you know so the point is it's to stay away from these things is to stay close to this person okay so it's about love that loving relationship with god leads to treating others in love which is the heart of the law so for parents let me just give you a simple example from the driscoll family we got five kids when the kids were little i only had three roles three basic rules and my whole thing was as a dad i don't want a lot of rules i want a lot of relationship i want you to know that i love you and i'm here for you so as stuff comes up i can coach you along because i can't predict everything that's going to come up in a kid's life and all five kids got different personalities and different paths like i just want you to know that i love you and i'm here for you and i'm here to help so i want to build a relationship i'm not big on the rules and so i had three basic sort of overarching um rules if you were number one be safe okay and if you've raised a boy you know that's necessary if you've only got girls you're like why do you need that ask somebody with a boy boys are all suicidal they're like where's the highest point the sharpest object i mean that's always what they're going for okay so be safe have fun always wanted to tie family and jesus to fun so that when you grow up you don't need to rebel rebellion is usually i want to have fun so i need to rebel against my parents and jesus well if jesus and your parents are fun you don't need to rebel that's why we put water slides in the back by the way because they're like i hate the water slides i no they don't actually they really like them and the popsicles and the squirt guns like why do you need to rebel against that we're in our swimsuits like there's no rebellion needed we want to tie jesus and fun together so that there's no need for rebellion and so be safe have fun and then love one another that was my that was my rule love one another be safe you know have fun love one another and love one another covers everything so let's say they're in i know sometimes kids do this not my kids i mean my kids were filled with a spirit they'd wake up in the morning pray in tongues read leviticus and pray for your kids so but your kids you ever see kids in a car like little kids in a car they're flicking each other right they're flicking each other right so here's judas you know here he is he's just trying to annoy right and the answer it you could say don't flick your sibling or you could say is that loving no okay you took their dessert you could say don't take their dessert or you can ask was that loving if you ask the love question that actually answers all of the other questions okay and so be safe have fun love one another so if people are loving they won't be breaking and violating god's commandments so he's looking at the difference and the war between love and selfishness and then underlying this is ultimately the war between the spirit and the flesh if you're conformed to the world it's selfishness and flesh if you're transformed by the lord it is living in love which is living in the spirit so romans 13 9 through 13 we'll read a couple of verses again and then pick up the theme for the commandments you shall not commit adultery you shall not murder you shall not steal you shall not covet and the other commandments are summed up in this word love your neighbor as yourself right you can't love somebody and commit adultery you can't love somebody and murder them you can't love somebody and steal from them love does no wrong to a neighbor therefore love is the fulfilling of the law besides this you know the time that the hour has come for you to wake up from sleep for salvation is near to us now than we first believe we don't know when jesus is coming back but every day we're a step closer the night is far gone the day is at hand so let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light let us walk properly as in the daytime not in orgies and drunkenness and sexual immorality and sensuality not in quarreling and not in jealousy okay what he's saying is this when we think of time we need to think of times in god's terms we tend to think of minutes hours days weeks months years god sees history in the realm of two primary events the first coming of jesus christ and the second or last coming of jesus christ that's how god sees history and we need to see our life in that context and so the first time jesus christ came as our god and savior to live without sin the only perfect life to die for our sin it was the greatest act of love ever conducted on our planet he died in our place for our sins god so loved the world that he gave his only son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life the jesus my friend is god and he was selfless not selfish he lived in the spirit not the flesh and he loved you by dying for you that's how much he loves you there's no greater gift that you can give anyone than laying down your life and calling them your friend and then jesus rose from death and he forgives sin and what he does he serves us he gives us a new nature new heart new desires and new mind so that we can be a new person that lives a new life so let me just say this my dear friend if you have not yet received the lord jesus christ as lord and savior that's the most important decision you will ever make that's the most significant thing you will ever determine is whether you reject him or receive him so we would just beg you we love you so much we want you to know the lord jesus because apart from the lord jesus you can't be transformed all you can be is conformed you can't live a new life you can just live the same life that everyone else is living because the life that we're talking about is the supernatural life that is only made possible for the children of god and what he's saying is this that all of human history is kind of like darkness and light when he's using this language of darkness and light he's comparing and contrasting darkness represents the flesh light represents life in the spirit and and and darkness represents being conformed to the world light represents being transformed by the renewing of your mind and so what he's saying is that human history right now we're in the dark season now when jesus comes back he is the light of the world that's when there is the dawning of the new eternal age the bible says in revelation that actually the sun will never set and that the glory of jesus christ is the light of the world will illuminate all of creation forever but now we live historically in the dark season you know we look at the past and sometimes with our evolutionary mindset which is an erroneous mindset we say oh those were the dark ages let me tell you it's all dark ages till jesus shows up the light of the world that we're living in our own darkness and the point is this when it's dark outside people tend to do the most despicable things because they are hidden that when darkness comes and let's say there's a power outage in a major urban center and all the lights are out for the night you know it's going to be hell on earth and this is why we have lights in our homes we have lights on our homes this is why we try to create as much light in the darkness as we possibly can because where there is more darkness there is more danger now we live in this period of human history where it is dark how many of you just sense and feel that like it's a dark season and it's getting darker this is the opposite of the evolutionary myth the evolutionary myth it's bright and getting brighter i don't know what planet you've been inhabiting but just reality tells me that the world is bad and it is getting worse it is dark and getting darker how many of you would agree with that you feel that you sensed that how many of you are my you know you're like me you've got kids and maybe one day grandkids you're looking down the corridor of time you're like in 50 years what does this look like the path that we are on seems to be headlong over a cliff into an abyss now for the christian that means that our hope is that jesus christ is returning that the same god who was faithful the first time will be faithful the last time the same god who was faithful to get out of the grave will be faithful to get us out of our grave the same god who gives us new life will be faithful to give us eternal life amen so for us our ultimate hope is in jesus and what he's saying is in the meantime what tends to happen when it's dark we tend to we tend to sleep but what he's saying is that that god's people during this season until the return of jesus of darkness we need to be awake and what's really interesting is our whole culture is woke and god's people should be awake there's a difference between being awake and being woke being awake is seeing things in the spirit being woke is seeing things in the flesh being awake is seeing things through the transformed mind being woke is seeing things through the conformed world and what happened during this last year with churches closed and throttled and some still are so pray for them everywhere that loves jesus and believes the bible we're for them because we're all on team jesus that ultimately the church was throttled and closed and as a result many christians simply went to sleep in their faith this last year they stop worshiping they stop giving they stop praying they stop learning they stop gathering they stopped serving there was a lack of a sense of urgency and it's like the church fell asleep meanwhile the world got woke and what he's saying here is that the church needs to stay awake so that it can reach the world which is woke and what he's saying is you need to look at your own life do you have a sense of urgency if you're a christian about the cause of jesus christ and the forward progress of the gospel and people hearing about and meeting jesus and living under his sovereign reign and what he's saying is this that every day we're a little closer to the second coming of jesus now i don't know when jesus is coming back i don't know every once in a while there's a person they're like i know no you don't no you don't really because jesus said no one knows the hour or the day okay so you don't know but here's what we do know he is coming and every day we're closer to whatever that day might be which means there should be an alertness and awakeness there should be a sense of urgency among god's people that whatever time we have we want to invest that time we don't want to waste that time and so the key is living in the spirit not living in the flesh and so this is going to be his underlying juxtaposition say how do you live a life that honors and glorifies god and is transformed it's by living in the spirit not living in the flesh and so he's comparing and contrasting your life in the spirit and life in the flesh now let me say this let me talk a little bit about the flesh the flesh is the sinful fallen predisposition toward self-destruction foolishness self-righteousness pride emotionalism and rebellion right it's the shadow side of us some psychologists would say it's it's the worst version of you it's you without god it's you without the spirit and the flesh is something that we only have until we meet jesus and then we get a new nature and we get the holy spirit but there is still this battle in our being regarding our flesh okay and so paul talks about this a lot galatians he talks about the fruit of the spirit versus the works of the flesh he's already spoken of his own battle earlier in romans where he says there are things that i want to do that's him in the spirit he said i don't always do those things and it's so frustrating to me that's him struggling with the flesh this is the reality of every believer you're not perfect but you're new you're not perfect but you're new and when god is done with you you will be perfect so the flesh is oftentimes your first initial emotional response let me just say this for parents until your kid meets jesus all they have is the flesh the problem sometimes with christian parents is that they're trying to change the child's behavior they're not inviting the spirit to change the child's nature see my goal is not to raise good kids but god's kids okay i'm not trying to raise kids like i train a dog just obedience i want heart change when things change in here then things start to change out there only god can change what's in here so the first priority of a parent is to pray for a born-again new life new soul new creation spirit-filled experience for your child okay that they would have the spirit not just the flesh and some of you look at your kids you're like why do you act like that because they have the flesh you know what they need they need the spirit we all need the spirit and so ultimately living in the flesh is how everyone lives until they meet the lord jesus and some people still choose to live at least on occasion after they know the lord jesus and so when we're speaking about the flesh it tends to be very emotional and very impulsive the flesh has no cause effect long-term correlation this person is like i'm going to commit adultery and they're not thinking about what happens to their grandkids i'm just going to go buy that they don't think about now the debt that they're in and what they're going to need to pay well i'm just going to drink that and they don't understand well when you get the dui here's all the consequences for your employment so the flesh is very impulsive it's very short-sighted it's it's very easily incited it's often triggered by negative emotions like an unhealthy anger or a fear and ultimately when we're talking about the flesh we're talking about you making the worst decisions that later on you reflect upon but in the moment you were just impulsive regarding okay i'll give you some examples the reason that some people live in the flesh so consistently and you know you've triggered someone in the flesh when they get very emotional and they completely overreact and over respond because oftentimes what happens is there's an unhealed hurt or there's an unforgiven offense and when you trigger that the response in the flesh is not to the person or the event but it includes past persons and events and all of a sudden it's like the avalanche and you're getting the response to everyone and everything i had this some years ago i was dealing with a young man it just comes to mind as i'm kind of verbal processing with you and i i told him i said you know you need to you need to make some changes in your life and you know here's here's what i think a better path forward for you would be and he got very emotionally raised his voice he's like you can't tell me what to do dad i was like whoa i'm not your dad he's like will you remind me of my dad okay there's an unhealed hurt there there's a brokenness there and i just triggered it but you weren't responding to me you're responding to your to your dad and i just triggered it so now i'm in the middle okay but let's let's deal with that hurt so that you can be healthy and just respond to the people and things in front of you not respond to everyone and everything that's ever treated you in that way you know that someone has an unhealed hurt when their response is completely out of proportion they're responding not just to you but to someone or something else in addition the the hardest time to live in the spirit not the flesh is when someone else is in the flesh oh you could tell they're in the flesh they just come at you sometimes they look angry sometimes they got a smirk sometimes you're like i know what you're gonna do you're gonna push all my buttons you're going to drive me crazy and you're going to get me in the flesh because if they're in the flesh guess what they want you to be in the flesh let me ask you this two people in the flesh does it ever end well no because the flesh can't love only only can you love in the spirit you can't love in the flesh you can only forgive in the spirit not in the flesh you can only have peace in the spirit not in the flesh you can only have harmony in the spirit not in the flesh and when someone is in the flesh let me say this when when someone is in the flesh it's like they're a suicide bomber they put the vest on they're like i'm going to blow you up well you know you're going to blow yourself up too that's what the flesh does the flesh is willing to blow you up and i'm willing in the process to blow me up there's no wisdom in that it's very short-sighted and let me say this we often have relationships with people who are in the flesh and how many people you have somebody in your life they just get you every time you're like you got it you got me again they just trigger you and usually we have boundaries or we cease relationship with these people the hardest time is when they're family because you can avoid certain people but if they have your last name it's more complicated and so how do we live in the spirit with those who are in the flesh and let me say this when you are living in the spirit you're living above it when you're living in the flesh you're coming down to get into it and this is where you say and do things that you later regret and spirit of god convicts you of and it's very ugly and gross and you feel terrible about it you feel terrible about it now what happens with the flesh as well the flesh is particularly vulnerable when you get hit and i call that hungry isolated and tired hungry you've you've not eaten you've not you've not nourished yourself you're you're just depleted in your in your life energy you're isolated you're not in church you're not in prayer you're not in the spirit you're not in the scriptures you're isolated there's a big difference between solitude and isolation solitude is where you go be with the lord isolation is where you go be with yourself this is very dangerous this is very healthy okay there's no problem being alone as long as you're alone with god if you're alone and not with god you're isolated that's different than solitude and then you're just tired i can't handle any more conflict i can't handle any more drama i've not been sleeping well i'm sick i'm injured when you reach the end of your humanity your flesh is particularly vulnerable to inciting you but let me let me say this i've used this analogy before and i'll use it again and let's just let's just be honest um we've all been in the flesh amen we'll we'll know what this is and if you don't ask your spouse they'll tell you we've all been in this in the flesh we've all been in the flesh and i've used this analogy before it comes from amy carmichael she was a godly missionary but not a trick question usually if i ask a question the answer is jesus or carne asada this is a different question so what's in the what's in the bottle water and i just bumped it what came out okay when someone bumps you you are responsible for what comes out of you because sometimes what happens is well you know you respond in the flesh you get angry name call you escalate unhealthy ungodly behavior you're like will you bump me right but all i did was expose what was in you i didn't create or cause what was in you let me say this friend you can decide whether you are filled with the spirit or filled with the flesh now other people are responsible in the sight of god whether or not they bump you but you are responsible for what comes out of you when they bump you and some of you have people in your life or maybe you're that person in someone else's life where everyone knows that you're like a grenade with a pin pulled they just live in the flesh and so what do we do we avoid them we work around them we don't trigger them don't bump them they will blow up the key is this if you live in the spirit you're putting the pin back in the grenade you're like the same thing happened but the reaction was very different if you kick a grenade with a pin out versus the pin in is there a different result yes okay a person in the flesh is a grenade with a pin pulled a person in the spirit is a grenade with a pin in you are responsible for who you are and how you respond to them they are responsible for how they treat you and so the key is to live in the spirit so how do you live in the spirit well jesus christ lived in the spirit do you know that christ literally means anointed of the holy spirit the jesus lived by the power of the holy spirit and then he says i'm not going to leave you as orphans i'm going to send you the spirit you're going to live by the same power that i did if you are a christian to live a spirit-filled life is to live a life patterned after the emotional health and relational integrity of jesus christ i wrote a whole book on this called spirit-filled jesus and i think sometimes we think of being spirit-filled we think oh gosh the holy spirit's going to make me weird no he's not he's going to make you like jesus you can't be like jesus without the holy spirit and he wants to bring you the fruit of the spirit which is love joy peace patience kindness goodness gentleness faithfulness and self-control and so for those who live in the spirit and spend time with the lord jesus they are able to rise above the flesh and the temptations troubles and trials that this conforming world and those who instigate us in it would bring to us i want the best version of you because i love you and so it's interesting if you give science time eventually science catches up with the bible it's just kind of interesting to watch but the most recent brain science says that we have a rear brain and we have a frontal brain there are multiple parts to the brain that the fro that the rear brain is the same brain activity that an animal would have impulsive short term right you know animals are not thinking about their retirement right they're not thinking about cause and effect and consequence they're very they're very short-sighted very emotional very irrational okay but what we have in addition to that part of the brain only god's children as image bearers they tell us have a frontal brain the frontal brain is more reason more processed more cause and effect more long-term in its considerations i honestly believe that when something happens or triggers us we start in the rear brain and to be conformed to the pattern of the world is to continue to live out of the rear brain to be transformed by the renewing of your mind is to bring that issue to the front brain it literally is moving it which means this my friend many things and many people in your life they're going to start in the flesh they're going to start in the rear brain but guess what to be transformed by the renewing of your mind you've got to then bring it to the holy spirit and you've got to bring it to the front brain okay what is my response going to be what am i going to say what am i going to do how am i going to respond what is my reaction going to be you will often start in the flesh don't stay there you may start very emotional you need to get very prayerful you may start by wanting to return fire for fire you need to bless those who curse you and love your enemy and so what this looks like is sometimes it's literally getting time with god see jesus often withdrew to lonely places to be alone with the father the scripture says the best way for you and i to live in the spirit is to be under god's word so thank you for letting me teach you god's word it's worshiping together as a church family which is our way of praying as a community and it's spending time alone with the lord and it may mean you know what i'm very frustrated by this so then rather than talking to them i'm gonna go talk to him i'm gonna go turn my phone off and get some time with the lord and say lord let me journal out what i'm thinking and feeling let me write a processing letter that i don't send anyone but it's just between me and you lord let me jot down or put together the conversation i want to have with them so that i'm in the spirit when i prepare for the conversation and then i'm following the directives of the spirit in the conversation and i'm not letting the flesh be the one that dictates the conversation sometimes you need to talk to him before you talk to them sometimes you need to pray for them before you engage them that oftentimes literally this is saying i need to invite the holy spirit and get time with the lord before i deal with this person or problem how many of you you get emotional and you just have to do something or say something right now how many of you it's never been good so just learn from past experience i've never met anyone who said i prayed i got time with the lord silence of solitude i journaled i fasted i listened and that was the worst thing ever did i've been doing this job a long time i've met a lot of people who said i wish i wouldn't have said that i wish you wouldn't have done that then you need to do something different go be with him and speak to someone else speak with him before you speak with them and this is how we are not conformed to the pattern of this world but transformed by the renewing of our mind and then he talks about ten commandment killers there are ten commandments here are the ten commandment killers adultery and this is how you know you're in the flesh these are indicators warning lights on the dashboard of life for the flesh adultery this is dishonoring the marriage covenant and it's amazing because people will say like well we committed adultery because we loved each other well the bible says that actually you don't adultery and fornication is not love that's not loving one another that's using one another that's not what is doing in the best interest of someone else's relationship with god it's damaging their relationship with god so you can have a relationship with them it talks about murder this is the taking of innocent life jesus also talks about not only uh adultery and murder of the hands but also of the heart you can commit adultery in the heart by lusting after people you're not married to and technology exists in large part to just make that constant let's just be honest we live in this day he's going to talk in a moment about sexual immorality it used to be if you wanted to commit adultery or sexual immorality you got to work for it you live in a farm out in the middle of nowhere you're like that's it i'm i'm a fornicate all right i got to walk into town i mean this is you this has got work for this then you walk into town there's like 50 people and you know them all you're like i'm going to get caught and since they know me i probably don't have good odds you had to work for today you just pull your phone right the flesh is literally an arm's length away constantly so this is our world becomes more difficult not to live in the flesh social media allows you to immediately respond in the flesh social media platforms are built on the flesh they they instigate the flesh they are sustained by the flesh a lot of advertising is just appealing to the immediate gratification of the flesh a lot of what is constituted as pornography and temptation is literally just saying we are going to tempt the flesh so as the child of god we need to make what he calls provisions against the flesh and when he's talking about provisions against the flesh it literally is that the conforming of our world is to nourish our flesh so what happens if i let go of this water bottle it falls because of gravity the gravity exists whether you believe in it or not so the world in the flesh like gravity they exist whether you believe in them or not and if you don't make a plan to make no provision for the flesh the natural course of life is just literally down toward hell your marriage is going to go to hell your finances are going to go to hell your kids are going to go to hell your family is going to go to hell your joy's going to go to hell your relationship with god is going to go to hell if you don't make a plan to make no provision for the flesh ultimately gravity takes over the flesh wins everything is conformed to the world and everything literally just quickly goes south toward hell it includes stealing which is the taking of illegal property coveting and let's just be honest most of social media exists for coveting the whole point of instagram and photos is we're smarter than you we're prettier than you our car's nicer than yours our dinner is better than yours our kids are adorable they're not picking their nose and beating on each other and you know what they're all lying it's just fake it's all staged and it's just too illicit coveting in you instead of contentment with what god has given you he talks about orgies this is public nuisance carousing just just debase behavior and it's now celebrated well this is who i am well that's who you are in the flesh that's not who you are in the spirit that's who you used to be that's not who you will be when god is done with you and jesus christ has raised you from the dead talks about drunkenness this is just a lack of moderation you don't need to be filled with spirits you need to be filled with the spirit he talks as well about sexual immorality and this is all kinds of sexual sin he talks about debauchery this is just a wicked life without any shame and then he talks about dissensions and jealousy and this is i don't like how god has provided for you therefore i need to attack you i need to tear you down i need to destroy you i need to harm you and ultimately dissensions are who or what are you against it's always a negative anti-message you know what we are for jesus christ we're for jesus christ and our primary message is not who or what we are against but who and what we are for christ and the gospel of christ and what happens with dissensions and some people live their whole life are you on my side of the war and some people the only way they have relationship is living in the flesh forming an unholy alliance and declaring war some of you have this in your family whole families are like civil wars and it's like well we're against them and which side are you on that's dissension god's working in through unity satan works through division and dissension and let me just say this um i love you with all my heart i truly do i love you as church family from the same place that i love my own family and i've been doing this job a long time and i'm now at the age my kids are getting older and the next season for us is going to be grandkids if your home environment is dominated by the flesh it's a horrible place to be it's not peaceful it's not restful it's not joyful if you as a parent are living in the flesh you're discipling your children to live in the flesh why would you ruin your children why would you wreck your legacy and sometimes it's like well because of that person well what about these people why are you looking over them why are you not looking up to him and looking at them and seeking to bring him to them see what happens oftentimes is we put a generational curse on our own family through living in the flesh if dad lives in the flesh and mom lives in the flesh and the kids live in the flesh what mom and dad are doing they're literally saying we're going to just put a curse of living in a flesh-filled environment not a spirit-filled environment on our children we're going to put bitterness in them and anger in them and on health in them and we're going to say that we hang together through dissension and conflict and then what happens is you wreck your marriage you break your kids and you destroy your grandkids i've seen it for 25 years let me tell you this i want to put the spirit on my wife not the flesh i want to put the spirit on my kids not the flesh i want to put the spirit on our family not the flesh i want to put the spirit on our church family not the flesh satan wants the flesh on everyone and everything and that's being conformed to the pattern of this world and this world is a miserable place to be for those who are living in the spirit even though things around us might be awful things in us can be wonderful even though there might be a lot of conflict out there there can be a supernatural piece of god in here even though the odds are not good the odds are good for those who are filled with the spirit i we we have so many of your kids we love your kids with all our heart but the most dangerous person to your marriage is you the most dangerous person to your children is you the most dangerous person to your family is you the most dangerous person to your grandchildren is you the most dangerous person to your legacy is you and if you will choose to live in the spirit and not the flesh there is so much hope for you if you will choose to live in the flesh instead of the spirit my friend i love you but there's not hope for you because god does not bless the flesh he only blesses the spirit god does not anoint the flesh satan will counterfeit the anointing with demonic supernatural power but god only anoints that which is in the spirit and so i love you and i want good for you i want the best for you i want your marriage to be an environment that is saturated with the spirit not the flesh i want your children to grow up an environment that is saturated with the spirit not the flesh and i want there to be generational blessing and not generational cursing on your family some of you ask how do you do that i'll bring the band up and tell you he says and this is how we get the best version of you but put on the lord jesus christ so put off all of the flesh and put on the lord jesus christ and make no provision for the flesh you need to make a plan how am i going to deal with that how am i going to speak to them what is my reaction going to be to gratify its desires so he tells us first who jesus is he's lord all authority jesus means savior from sin and christ means anointed in the holy spirit and then he tells us who we are we're the children of god who can take off our old life put on our new life every every day what we do we take off our dirty clothes we put on our clean clothes what we do for our body we also need to do for our soul you know today i said some things i'm gonna take those off those are dirty tomorrow i'm gonna say some things different you know what today i did some things i regret holy spirit forgive me thank you jesus for dying for that tomorrow i'm going to put on something new and what he's talking about is dressing our soul in the righteousness and the power of jesus christ and what happens in our day when we change our wardrobe we change our mindset so for example when you graduate they put a crazy gown on you and the worst hat ever architected and you move the tassel from one side to the other what you're saying is my whole life up until this point was student and now i live as graduate what i'm telling you today is it's graduation day for many of you in the spirit in addition when you become a police officer or a firefighter or a soldier you take off your civilian clothes and you put on your uniform and you're saying i am now at a higher level of authority and responsibility for some of you today you're getting your uniform and as well what happens on a wedding day is particularly for the girls what do you do ladies you pick your dress and this is such a big thing i still don't understand i got two daughters i've seen thousands of hours of this television show called say yes to the dress and it's not because i'm looking for a dress but my daughters love this show and it's the most predictable show there's no plot twist at all girls walk in dress will you say yes to the dress yes it's the same every episode and i've sat on the couch with my daughter i looked over and she's like i don't get it but when you put the dress on what you're saying is i'm no longer single i'm married and i've got a new life and it starts today i love you here's my question to you what mindsets do you need to put off what mindsets do you need to put on what what responses do you need to put off and what responses do you need to put on what temptations and sins do you need to put off and what obedience and worship do you need to put on what relationships do you need to put off and what relationships do you need to put on i want you to spend some time listening to the holy spirit and to hear what he would say to you so that you could live in the spirit as we worship together you

Channel: Real Faith by Mark Driscoll

Views: 5,279

Rating: 4.965517 out of 5

Keywords: Mark, Driscoll, ministry, thetrinitychurch, scottsdale, arizona, bible, teaching, gospel, theology, jesus, biblestudy, faith, bibleverse, hope, hug, help, love, christianity, christian

Id: wNa2DsCnhPc

Length: 66min 50sec (4010 seconds)

Published: Sun Jun 06 2021