Role Play: Person Centred Therapy

okay max I understand that you have some concerns that you'd like to discuss today so whenever you're ready I'm happy for you to voice whatever it is that you'd like to talk about yeah well I suppose the bottom line is I'm having some difficulties in my relationship with my wife and I very uncertain about actually being here it's been embarrassing talking about these things for the stranger yeah so you're feeling a little bit uncomfortable discussing such personal information with an outsider yes it is I'm a bit awkward brought up let's solve your problems yourself and you know do it outside the family you don't take the problems to strangers and I would love Leedy but also I realize now that given the depth of the problem that I also need to get another perspective on things okay all right I guess some what I generally say to people when they first come along is that it's not uncommon to feel quite uncomfortable talking to an outsider about such personal information and even though I can't predict exactly how you're going to feel and how things will go for you today I do know that in the past a lot of other people have have actually felt quite uncomfortable to begin with but as they've been able to talk and get things off their chest they actually feel quite relieved so you might find that that as we spend more time together that you're more comfortable in this environment too I hope you'll accept that one yeah yeah I'll see how we go well it was a friend of mine had been involved in a counseling program suggested that this is what I I should have temper do anyway okay okay and you're saying before as well but but normally you like to solve things yourself and work things out yourself and I think it's quite a balanced perspective too to be looking at how you're going to resolve things yourself and also to get an outside perspective as well so I can see lots of benefit that can come from from that jewelled approach well I haven't succeeded in doing it by myself so yeah that's worth a go yeah so perhaps we can we can shed some light on on some helpful approaches for you okay I guess to help me understand your situation it would be helpful if you could talk a little bit about what's been going on for you and what's brought you along well suppose things have just deteriorated in relationship with my wife Angelina we'd be where 11 years me Omega tickety's Johnny's not on him Jackie he's 7 right and she's very busy in a job and she's always better I suppose a bit of a control freak right she likes things to be just so and occasionally she would what I would call it lose the plot and she'd yell at me and abuse me but in the past that was never a problem because we could sit down and talk about it and she'd recognize that she'd probably gone over the top and one hour but lately it's really just gotten out of hand and it's it's she's not controlling her Ian's got a temper and it it really concerns me there because I think it's starting to affect the kids right okay so it sounds like to begin with she might often become quite angry but she would settle down and you could resolve things but of late it's become a lot more volatile and she's become more explosive and and you're really concerned about the impact on yourself and the children yeah I mean the kids are younger I mean John John he's a boy and he seems to be handling things okay but you always uncertain as to really how things affect again Jacky's jack is only seven as I said and she's a lot more sensitive I just she's not really here like next to her at all and that's really starting to put a lot of extra concern delay yeah okay so it sounds like if you've got a lot of concerns about both the kids and John's probably handling it okay outwardly even though obviously he's feeling it but Jackie you're particularly concerned about image is quite delicate and you're worried about that impact and all of you are walking around on eggshells at the moment just waiting for some kind of explosion to happen that sounds right oh well I'm considerate the kids were all concerned about the marriage it's important to me to do what you can to keep things together because that's it's better for kids but if I had to see where one major concern it would be probably for Jackie okay because there's been a few instances likely where the kids have been exposed in the full glory of this sort of volatile angry behavior and that's what he was starting to worry me a lot right okay yeah I guess I'm very impressed too to see how much you you're obviously devoted to the children and he's certainly putting their welfare first and you want to make sure that they're in a stable environment so that they're okay and I think obviously that's that's a credit to you as a father that they've got your mobile those kids just made everything today they're just titled a lot I mean they're just everything yeah okay okay and it's really clear when you when you talk about them your face lights up so they obviously they're obviously very special very cool yeah okay all right just in terms of helping me to understand exactly what's going on between yourself and Angelina that's that's causing you such distress would you be able to give me perhaps a recent example of a time where you did have some conflict and and talk about what happened yeah a couple of weeks ago she'd been very busy so just to make things easier for her we're living away and on the way home from work and picked up a triclinic and I got home probably half an hour late and what I normally would and she didn't ask me why I was late or whatever she just waited with tirade of abuse right and would listen to when he comments or observations I had to make about it and probably the worst part for me was that both the kiddies are there you could see particularly young Jackie the impact I was having on them and it just really just broke my heart mmm okay okay so that sounds like it was very upsetting for you to be involved in nothing I said or did was was going to ease the situation it just went on and on and on and on she she bowed out of the anger okay yeah and what actually happened after after she did burn out what happened with the kids in terms of helping kids the kids were very restless that night very cleared me it shocked and surprised these things have been going on for a while but this was the first time the kids had actually been fully exposed to they I suppose the full spectrum of the abuse of the reading arriving just the volatile nature of it requires time okay so that was a specific repair yeah and and how often does this tend to happen its episodic it's always the underneath the surface sometimes it might be sometimes it might be everyday sometimes might be once a week one support line that's because there's no rhyme or reason to things that's actually adding today the difficulty because it's I find it's starting to affect my work and I think myself and the kids are starting to walk on eggshells a little bit okay that's that's very unhealthy environment for the children mm-hmm so it's affecting the children but it's spilled over into your work environment as well and you're feeling uncomfortable when you're at work is that right I find myself sometimes not focusing on my work and thinking about how can I fix things up at home so that you know Angelina is more settled this morning it's more peaceful harmonious life but we used to have the kids lives are not so disrupted they're not exposed to this intensive and negative emotion right okay so it sounds like next for you it's a very constant and unrelenting distress it's it's at home it's at work and you're feeling it yeah it's it's starting to be nonstop in terms of of thinking I can't think about a book I think about it walking on eggshells when Angelina goes to sleep I'll stay awake thinking mx of what I might be able to do when sometimes I just think I'd like some peace and I'd like some peace for the kiddies declaring Jackie because I think she's really feeling it and I wonder whether maybe I should just leave it's at least the kids can have some peace because if I'm not there maybe Angelina won't have a target it's a big step a big step to take to think of leaving yeah I've thought about it i-i've never discussed with anybody but hearing myself say that leading the relationship would be a possible solution is that's a bit threatening the whole stability of the kids because I think it's important to do whatever you can to keep the relationship going and ultimately if if we can work at resolving these issues then the kids will be a lot better off yeah it's part of a fairly brief we take it off and having a battle through explaining it into the kids reflected lifestyle right right um okay mags if I could just summarize what we've talked about so far you explained to me that you've become very frustrated and tired and I think worn out with a lot of the anger and a lot of the volatility in the relationship that you have with Angelina and you work very worried about the impact on both Jackie and John and you've been so worried in fact that you've considered leaving but it's also occurred to you that that's a major step to take and it's one that you would prefer not to do and that that makes you think that you want to even work harder to actually restore things between yourself and Angelina and and work things through so that you can actually be more harmonious and live together in peace as a family with that coverage for you yeah summarizes pretty accurately we were out of the moment oh that's that would be my strong preference right well luckily I would be a copier yeah I probably I'd probably heal it but that would be so difficult for the kids yeah yeah okay okay well I guess this might be as good a time as any just to draw things together and perhaps finish for now and perhaps if you wanted to work with me on this I'd be very happy to support you in whatever it is that you'd like to do in the future in your relationship with Angelina and restoring the family to what it once was and then moving forward I'd be really happy together because I think a lot a lot a lot of things have been clarified for we had a better perspective of what the options are what the what the downsides of silly thinking would be okay I really appreciate talking with you I kind of thanks thank you very much

Channel: Australian Institute of Professional Counsellors

Views: 387,014

Rating: 4.8248796 out of 5

Keywords: person-centred therapy, Person-centered Therapy, counselling, AIPC, therapy, role play

Id: 4wTVbzvBH0k

Length: 13min 24sec (804 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 05 2013