Road to Covenant: More Than Just a Groom

hello everybody welcome back to where the wait it is my turn for this little series that shredder and I are doing about what we are going through and some of the things that we're learning as we are preparing to be married so the title of mine is more than just a groom and today I really want to focus on the example that Christ set for us as men who will eventually be leading our wives in a marriage and I believe that Christ has given a terrific outline for the principles and just the the instruction that we are to adopt as men who are seeking to lead and love and just honor and cherish our wives in the marriage I hope that you know anyone and everyone who is listening would find something that can benefit them wherever they might be in the walks reason why I want to focus so much on Christ and this specific talk is because in Ephesians 5 we see how the marriage relationship between a man and a wife essentially parallels that of Christ of a covenant-keeping relationship between Christ in the church with that I think that Christ has given us so many principles and standards in his life and in his teachings and even in his death on the cross that we as men can adopt into you know preparing for you know being married and also in love learning how to better love our wives as Christ has also loved the church before things that I'm going to speak about today are being a diligent student being a loving servant being a willing sacrifice and ultimately being a humble leader I think that all throughout as I studied this all throughout the life of Christ you see these distinct phases that he himself also went through in the very beginning of his life on earth Christ was you know being a student of his father in the in the in the trade of carpentry and then you also saw in Luke I believe that he was studying and asked some questions to the doctors and so there's there's this clear set of time in his life where he was a student right and so after his baptism we see Christ living this life of serving and healing and ministering to the sick and to the lost sheep so moving in moving from the diligent student into being a being a loving servant and then and on the cross we see Christ basically in his fulfillment of know a willing sacrifice for his people all three of those stages combined this the student the servant and the sacrifice ultimately lead to us now seeing crisis our leader crisis in the example that we seek to follow we follow in his footsteps and we you know seek his his wisdom and his knowledge and his understanding for each and everything of our lives as I ment preparing to be married I've learned that this journey towards marriage towards the altar can be patterned in a very similar manner for part number one diligence student Ben Luke 246 and 52 it says and it came to pass that after three days they found him in the temple sitting in the midst of the doctors both hearing them and asking them questions and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature and in favor with God and man when I read this my heart was truly touched that you know Christ was even setting an example in asking questions of the doctors and you know sitting and talking and sharing with them of how we should constantly be a student when it comes to my relationship with Sharada I have to be first of all a student of the word I breaking up into two different things so a student of the word and then a student of my significant other sure Etta I think that when it comes to being a student the word as a man who will seek to be a leader in his home you have to understand biblical principle I think that that is at the core of our walk and development to the men of God everything that we support should be doctrinally based we have to have daily devotionals even multiple times a day and studying the word and coming closer into a relationship with God so that what you allow in your house or what you support in your house or in your family or whatnot you know that you can go to the word and stand strong on the word and that's going to be your gauge for everything that happens in your relationship and also in your future family oh yes so being a student of the word studying and having your own devotions and even most multiple times a day of studying the word but then also surrounding yourself with the community of men who are going to support you and encourage you along that journey this can be very important to making sure that you're staying on the biblical padded you're continuing getting godly counsel from from different men who are invested in your journey as for me you know I I have a Bible study with a group of men on a weekly basis I'm gonna keep my mind fresh and it was a hear from so many different men on you know how to prepare to be a husband how to even just be a better man of God I also have a monthly talk with my groomsmen where I discuss with them some of the things that I might be struggling with and you know we all take time out to just pray together and I trust that they're also praying for me throughout the month but you're just just some activity to keep us and connected and in tune with the journey that and that I'm on with sure Etta one thing that brings me great comfort during this journey is second Timothy chapter 3 verse 16 and 17 and I think that that sets the stage for even why we have scripture at our hands we have the Word of God before us so that we can continue to be cleansed and continue to be made into better people for you know the struggles and forth and whatever life may throw at us so I think that as a man preparing to be a husband the scripture has become so it has become so important for for me during this journey because I can constantly seek wisdom seek knowledge and seek understanding for how I'm supposed to you know eventually love this woman as Christ also loved the church second part of being a student is to be a student of your significant other the courting never stops and that is something that I just live by every single day I'm constantly pushing myself to learn more and more about Sharada than I did the day before because the biggest deception of relations is that when you meet someone you you can think that they're the finished product and that is the furthest thing from the truth because throughout your life and throughout your relationship how you treat them how you love them how you respect them will continue to shape them into the person that they will be so you're constantly adding to their character just by the way that you treat them part number two yo loving servant dying to self is everyday everyday everyday it's not an easy thing to do we see in the life of Christ that everything he did was servant minded and servant focused loving giving healing you know ministering the scripture says that for the for even the Son of man did not come to be served but to serve as a mark 10:45 so everything that Christ was doing was servant focused and as a man who was trying to look beyond the state of just being a groom I'm working on incorporating these same principles into you know this engagement time period with Sharada and I'm sure and I would rather read this book a little bit ago called the five love languages and through reading that book I learned that Sherrod his love language was acts of service so each and every day I'm trying to push myself to find a new way to find a different way to find a greater way to better serve her whether it be through an act of kindness or helping with wedding stuff a hard with giving a spontaneous gift or just anything really trying to figure out you know how can I lovingly serve her beyond you know the physical way that is that their minds are typically drawn to but we put a lot of those but all those things pretty much in the marriage box so pushing myself to learn more about how I can love and serve sure Etta has definitely been a part of this journey something that I think Christ even shows us that it's important for men to do in the relationships with their wives helpful tip with being a loving servant something I'm trying to do more of now is asking God every single morning to help you die to yourself help you put aside your self your natural selfish nature and show you how you can serve this other person and a fuller capacity scripture tells us in Ephesians 5:33 that as a man loves his wife she will also respect her husband as I push myself to constantly serve and constantly given and and love Sharada and abettor and in a pure way each day of our relationship I trust that the cycle will also come back around it you know she'll continue to give and show continue to love me the same way so it's a cycle and above all else I think that it's just a beautiful thing to see that sure Etta's love tankers in overflow as I learned more about her each and every day as being a student of her I learned more how do I happen I better serve her and love her respect her and the third parts we have diligent student we have loving servant and then there's also the willing sacrifice sacrifice man that's a hard one it's challenging imma be i'ma be real and very transparent and saying that this is by far the most challenging aspect of preparing to be married is not it's realizing that it's not so much about the way that I used to do things or the way that I was raised to do things but it's about how we as a couple as a unit going to do this going to face this challenge or face this discussion of this area of our life so really surrendering sacrificing my way so that we can have our way and you know in the life of Christ and as we see how Christ's life on earth culminated and we as men can learn that we are to give of ourselves in the same way that Christ gave of himself First Church fusions v also tells us that husband's should love their lives let their wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it I know I know in the future that there might come a moment where I had to give my life for my family or for my wife and I believe that it's just so critical right now to start coaching myself through the steps of being willingly sacrificial willingly understanding that I don't have to always be right you know wait comes out to even discussions that we're having sometimes right and I will be having a very intense situation of disagreement I'm learning to get myself to the point where I can ask is this does this conversation right now have any bearing on our salvation and if it doesn't then I know that I don't have to push this discussion push this disagreement to the point where we are you know just fuming at each other I don't have that I can just I don't have to be right I can pull away from you're trying to do that and accept that Sharada may have just an equally right position on the subject and it's okay I think that this in itself is something that we can even practice in our courtship or in our engagements preparing us to fully take on the role of being a willing sacrifice in our eventual marriage know as men a lot of us out here are struggling with pry or struggling with our egos and we feel entitled to just demanding respect in our relationships because wives are instructed to submit to you know their husbands and whatnot but I think that you you got to get rid of that pride you got to get rid of that ego whatever that is that is feeling making you feel entitled take it to God take it to him and allow Him to you know really work it out of you in it and tuck it on you because that is the last thing that Christ embodied when he was on earth he never was prideful he never you know was egotistical and his walk and all of his words were loving and we're caring and were and just constantly putting others you know before himself so whatever it is that may be blocking you from saying that oh I I can I can willingly you know sacrifice my desire or my way or even my life eventually for my wife or for my family whatever that is we really gotta take it to God and let him cleanse let him purify purify us at that because we know that it is not a price and lastly you know the the student I've been doing the student being a loving servant and being a willing sacrifice I think that if we can work to embody those three principles then being a humble leader will just naturally come into play in the relationship as you as you demonstrate each and each each principle the student the servant and the sacrifice I think that your significant other your girlfriend or you know your fiance or your wife will willingly follow your leadership and Trust in your leadership it will naturally lead to you being a humble leader for your household christ tells us that he is the way the truth and the life so you will become the person that she looks up to and that she respects and that she cherishes as a head of the household as you demonstrate that you care about the Word of God that you're studying the Word of God and that your that you lovingly serving her and seeking to learn more about her every day and then also as you're sacrificing your desires or your wants or whatever you may deem important for the betterment of your entire family or for your marriage she will give herself I believe that she will give herself to your leadership and trust that God is working in you and leading you where he wants you to to be as men we have to be very conscious of the lifestyle that we're living around our girlfriends fiance's wives everything that you do is preaching a sermon you may you may not think that it is but she's watching you very carefully to see are you really submitting and surrendering yourself to God are you really living a life that is not just seeking your own satisfaction or seeking your own pleasures but are you actually invested in letting God lead you how you live your life how you seek to study the Word of God and study your significant other how you are serving and how you're also sacrificing will ultimately lead to your significant other better trusting and better giving herself to your leadership as a man I hope that what I've shared today has blessed somebody out there who's seeking knowledge on preparing for marriage or even preparing for a relationship and some of the things you can study and pray over right now wherever you might be just remember that being a diligent student a loving servant and a willing sacrifice will help you as you seek to be a humble leader yeah so that's all that I had for today I am excited about this journey I know that it's going we're gonna continue to learn even more we're only about I think six months or so into engagement and we have a bit of time to go into them into the wedding but we are excited and we're thankful and we're praising God for everything that he's taught us and we hope that we'll be able to share more with you all as we go in this journey thank you for watching also if you have been selected for the giveaway you should know now because we've commented on your post if you were selected random selection weren't playing any favorites but we hope that it blesses you if you're if you if we did comment on your posts then email us and that we will coordinate how we're going to mail the book to you we hope that a blesses you thanks again for watching we will see you next time on worth the wait bye 1 take care

Channel: Worth The Wait

Views: 5,141

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Covenant, Groom, Wedding, Engaged, Courtship, Love, Christian, Christian Men, God, Bible

Id: XwnK29IHfog

Length: 18min 3sec (1083 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 02 2015