r/MaliciousCompliance - ME = 500+ IQ

oh my heart I am so incredibly proud of you for tuning in for your doctor's ex recommended daily dose of reddit's with your host dr. Zach I guess you can say you complied with my recommendation however it seems to have been done out of benevolence unlike these vicious scourges on humanity that we love to call entitled people who complied as well but maliciously all right guys anyways if there's one thing you can depend on your doctor Zach for other than you know your daily dose of Reddit and good recommendations to watch daily dose of Reddit it would be smooth segways because today's subreddit is our slash malicious compliance don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that bell to never miss an episode this story's called you want all the output of every command mailed to you are you sure okay a new project manager was assigned to our team and this guy was an incredible piece of work it was an older guy who had never worked with Severson computers before but figured since we were all young he knew better at some point we were discussing how he weren't alerted of something because the output of the program the very verbose job application went dev know which is shorthand in the UNIX world of take the output and dump it into a black hole never to be seen again a lot of superfluous information is sent to dev know well the project manager said he wanted everything to be saved and moreover he wanted to be emailed these logs so he could go over them and point out what he missed in the meeting we then tried to explain that this was a bad idea but this just made him certain that we were up to something and he was gonna catch us at it so one of the guys changed how deveneux worked he made it's an alias that mailed the project manager instead everything junk output logs you name it this was changed on just 10 systems we had over 40 but it was sending the project manager at least 10 to 12 emails a minutes of about 4 to 5 kilobytes each we had to set up a separate server just to queue the mail and parse it out to him within a few hours his mail quota was reached he was filing them in another folder via a filter at first but that didn't work for long he couldn't even get his real mail he called corporate IT first who didn't know what was going on but assumed he was downloading huge files it took them over three days to figure out hey this guy's getting a crap ton of mail from the inside so they contacted us and we pointed out that he requested this so they upped his quota it was maxed out within 20 minutes so they upped it again and again finally the project managers machine crashed because his hard drive filled up the mail was bouncing of course and when it did it logged that as well eventually the email server we were using to send him in just him mail crashed due to lack of space then we changed dev no back because enough mail was queueing on that special server to send him 1 to 2 pieces of mail every second for up to a week well the project manager thought we did that deliberately to hide what we were really doing and he brought it up to our boss for reprimands the boss knew what dev know was used for he smirked at us and said don't do that again you guys and then he explained to the project manager that his job was to manage projects not to tell the programmers how to do their actual job this led to a huge fight where the project manager was sent home early sulking later that project manager was transferred to our offshore team and was later fired for openly complaining about them using racial slurs Wow as Zangief said in wreck-it Ralph just because you are bad the guy does not mean you are bad guy or whatever he said do you get the gist of it that guy shouldn't have been fired for that's messed up wrongful termination case right there money money money this story's called write an apology to my brothers bullies ok grabs the source so as a young girl ad I went to boarding school in the UK mine was quite something kind of like Hogwarts just without the magic now for the uninitiated boarding school is basically like prison but stabby back then in the late 90s we were just coming to the end of older kids are in charge and we were beginning the era of whiny little Richard heads mouthing off anyway by this time I was a sixth former seventeen eighteen year olds in my younger brother was in the same house boarding house equals prison wing and a fourth former a thirteen fourteen year old that boarding school there's a pecking order and if you're a fourth former here on the crap end of the stick and at the beginning of Dukey Creek with a paddle that's made of poo the six former tells you to jump you don't even ask how high you go for the world record that being said I wasn't one of those six formers I've been through the crap as a younger kid I'd have the ever living crap beaten out of me a few times I'd run dozens of menial errands and faced my own fair share of bullying for my own year I tell people some of the stories and watch their faces go white but it's the crucible in which I found my confidence my nicely balanced fu attitude in my absolute hatred of bullies screw bullies unfortunately my brother wasn't growing with the punches so to speak his housemates were gargantuan [ __ ] but my brother never just became comfortable being himself he always tried to be their friends and as such they kept at on I tried to help but he always begged me not to so I went on for the whole year nothing bad compared to the crap I went through he was never beaten electrocuted etc etc but it was taking a toll on it was grinding him down he just wanted to be friends in these crude name for female reproductive organ ask self pleasure stains just kept at him so it's the second to last day of the year the last day is usually just a half day and then the families come and collect us and my brother is just done he calls mom and asked just to be picked up a day early why is your another 24 hours of an escapable verbal bullying at some point in the afternoon my mom walks into my room and says these freakin garbanzo bags have continued bullying him in front of my mother she's in the dorm helping him get his stuff together and these guys are throwing Barb's across the room mom's urinated well now I am too I've stuck to my word to my brother ain't kept out of it but now these mother lovers are crossing the lines not only that but one of these kids is not even from our house he's just come into my house just to mess with my brother in front of my mother so I follow Mom to the dorm now the main culprit of the year of bullying is this kid bully one he's exactly the kind of bully you'd expect he's taller and facts but that prepubescent fat translates to strength at that age bully 2 is in almost embarrassing cliche in as much as he's the smaller mouthy type that uses his fat buddy to hide behind they're both from rich Chinese families from Hong Kong this comes into play later so I stride into the dorm and spot bully to the little turd from another house before I continue I feel like I should point out that I was far from an intimidating specimen on paper 150 pounds in a bit of fluff on my face I'm not some mutant with a hairy back but like I mentioned I faced a fair amount of crap and I'm not afraid to mix it up I grab bully to by the scruff of his shirt pull him out of the dorm push him against the wall take a skateboard and place it across his neck and then ever so directly inquired just exactly who he thought he was disrespecting my mother like that well bully one wasn't happy about that figuring he was almost the same height as me and probably tipping the scales in his favor he decided to get in my face the massive no-no as far as the unwritten rules of the school goes and then the Mickey ficky swings at me I'm standing next to my mother and this entitled bully swings on me his extra weight meant his hands weren't particularly fast and I jerked my head to the side and his knuckle kissed my cheekbone the other fourth formers action gasp I'll never forget that I touched my cheekbone and calmly asked bully 1 did you just hit me yeah I freaking do what you couldn't do bad I'm glad he asked at this point I decided to show him just what I was gonna do about it so I grabbed him by his throat and proceeded to roundhouse that little Frick in his face it was a glorious sound smack that crisp sound of clapping your hands together but why stop there let's give him a round of applause shall we smack smack smack smack and smack at this point one of the younger brothers of a fellow 6th former friend of mine jumps between us saying he's had enough while I still debate that point I acquiesced and left bully 1 blubbering on the floor and walked off with my family as mom patted me on the back with a well time now we aren't stupid we walked straight to the house master's office he wasn't there he was umpiring a cricket match against another school so we hop in the car and drive to the other side of the school Hogwarts remember this place was a hundred acres and once there was a break in the game I stride out onto the pitch and immediately say sir I just walloped bully one for a bloody good reason at this point I can see bully 1 staggering down to the pitch while being supported by a housemate he's even put a bandaid on his face he's really milking it but suddenly spots me and my mom talking to his only salvation and he knows he's rumbled now boarding school isn't necessarily about the rules it's about justice so many things get dealt with in school and you wouldn't believe the crap that never got back to the parents they weren't ignorant of the bullying my brother was receiving but they were going with the whole let's see if this works it so failed approach they wanted us to learn to stick up for ourselves Brad however a sixth former delivering a multitude of round houses to a younger boys face is not something you can hide from parents paying tens of thousands of pounds a year so I was let go but the issue was not back at school the next term and the parents of both boys want blood the headmaster was relatively new at the school and was to put it mildly also a crude name for a female reproductive organ he wasn't about the old ways and was a Richard about many things he found a casual way to bring it up in conversation to me about how there had to be punishment I agreed I don't think he was expecting that but I continued I'm more than willing to accept a week's suspension for what equated to two minutes of bullying if oh crap there's an if you also punish the bullies of my brother and they were doing it for a year so I guess you'll have to suspend them for a few years Q's some very British muttering and suddenly it seems like this is one of those times where it's getting swept under the rug clearly not there must have been some behind-the-scenes negotiations with the parents because a few weeks later I was told that I would need to write a letter of apology to the parents of bully 100 really now as I mentioned both of these kids were from Hong Kong but also Chinese English is not their first language and their parents understanding of it was significantly less the thing is about us Brits we're really good at sounding like we're saying one thing while at the same time sinking the knife in with a smile on our face I decided to follow this instinct with gusto i sat down with one of my friends and a thesaurus and wrote what I still regard to be one of my finest pieces of work we deliberately used overcomplicated terms to mask what was in no way whatsoever an apology but it sounded like one while it was littered with terms that sounded apologetic to any native English speaker it was clearly putting 100% of the blame on the crappy little crotch goblin they produced while at the same time suggesting if he does it again he'll be getting more of the same I signed off and then I couldn't resist a postscript post scriptum I do hope bully one didn't suffer any permanent injuries which of course is fluent British for I sincerely hope it freaking hurt when I smacked your son in the face repeatedly nice sealed that envelope like you seal away toxic waste by could not run the risk of the school reading it because I'd be totally rumbled and placed it on my house master's desk but two days later after lunch roll call my house master singles me out and asked that I follow him to his office crap play it cool I follow along nonchalant as Frick and we go to his office base about that letter to bully ones powers fornication under under under under under under under under under under under under consent of the king at this point I'm thinking oh well I gave it a good go but my house master continues nada topped off of you and hands me a pristine typed up version of my apology I just need you to sign it I look down it's word for word and right there under where I'm supposed to sign is a postscript just as I wrote it just sitting there all by itself yes I do hope will he wanted and suffer any permanent injuries you freaking legend with a smile on my face I gladly signed the final haymaker and had it sent on its way sometimes school isn't about the rules it's about justice because screw boys all right and here we have a fun little edit to appease the MMA fans and trained ninjas I should point out that since I was a child I have often referred to a wide looping punch as a roundhouse or a roundhouse punch a haymaker as many others may call it please don't tie yourself up in knots trying to picture some Jackie Chan en escapade and instead picture a skinny kid flailing his right arm about with great enthusiasm don't you find stories of brothers defending brothers and brothers beating up bullies of other brothers you know don't you find those charming I find him charming they're very I don't know they're very sweet and this guy no exception even though even though he's just a skinny kid flailing his right arm about with the great enthusiasm that's some good stuff let me know in the comments below any stories of you beating up a bully I guess I don't know I'm curious so we can celebrate your heroism this story's called I know i authorized overtime and you worked four hours of it but I'm only approving one last job I had was an overall mess but the particular manager I had wanted to try and introduce more structure or her rules to the place he had moved here from out of state had a long resume of helpdesk an IT supervisor experience and at first seems like a decent skilled guy then came the overtime policy previously overtime was allowed without needing approval because sometimes calls run long as long as it wasn't excessive excessive meant more than five hours and even then all you had to do was explain what took so long and management was happy to approve it because sometimes tech stuff gets messy and takes a while the previous manager never had any issues approving it and the chief information officer never had any issues approving that approval one of the new managers changes was that all overtime had to be approved and if it wasn't approved spoiler it was rarely approved it meant telling a customer you had to cut a support call short when your shift was over terrible idea but okay pal I'll help you dig that great for yourself and I ended up getting a call about an hour before my shift ended and it was a call that was a bug in our software that was fixed by a particular Windows Update the clinic closed at 5:30 and the office manager asked us to do it after hours I talked to the manager he gives me written authorization to work late and get the Windows updates to run on thirty-some computers I do that and it takes roughly four hours as the clinic's internet connection started to bottom out if I had more than four or five remote sessions going I at one time no big deal I get it done submit my time punch for that day and think nothing of it he calls me the next morning with get approve this motion overtime CIO would never authorize I remind him he authorized overtime for this and that he knew it was one of the larger clinics he says well you should have just started some clocked out checked on them then clock back in when others were ready he didn't need a babysitter him I'll authorize one hour I explained to him that that's a stupid idea and that it's not legal to not pay me for time worked when he authorized that time and I have it in writing he says he doesn't care and I'm only getting one hour of overtime authorized fine from now on I will clock in at exactly 8:00 a.m. and out at 5:00 p.m. he snaps a good that's a policy at me and I leave instead of reporting him to the chief information officer who I was on friendly terms with right away I spent a few weeks collecting things like really annoyed doctors in clinic staff and every time they got understandably angry that I was dropping a call when the issue wasn't resolved I'd apologize and tell him that it was managers fault as it was a policy he implemented and not only is it illegal for me to keep working without the company paying me as I was an hourly employee I flat out wasn't going to work for free I suggested they email the CIO and see see the manager on it telling them exactly what they thought of the new policy and how it affected their practice and their patients opinions of the clinic about a week later the CIO paid a surprise visit and wanted to speak to me he asked me what on earth was going on he was getting all these peeked off emails from clinic sites saying the texts were dropping calls immediately at 5:00 p.m. CST regardless of what time it was the clinic or if the issue was fixed or not and they all said the same thing about it being managers policy I explained the policy to the CIO also told him about the overtime incident and he just lost it got up opened the door to the empty office he was using and yelled across the whole IT floor for the manager in question to get his booty in here right now don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 55,073

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/MaliciousCompliance, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet

Id: XCxSpQ-9-Y0

Length: 19min 24sec (1164 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 12 2019