r/maliciouscompliance | I Need a REGULATION HAIRCUT? Okay...

hey everybody hope you're all doing well my name is Stephen and this is the storytime channel without wasting any time let's get right into the stories our first story is by B the liquor customer takes managers advice a few years ago I worked at a sporting goods store that sells firearms some customers would buy online and then have those items shipped to the store and then come in for the background check and pick them up a customer comes up to the gun counter and says he has an order for pickup I checked the safe and find the guy's firearm and unbox for his inspection to ensure this is what he ordered and it is in good condition as there are no returns on firearms once they are purchased this order was for a very nice and expensive browning satori over/under 28 gauge shotgun of course I get to handle it and admire the beautiful craftsmanship of the inlay on the receiver as these are rarely seen in the store especially in 28 gauge this is the conversation that followed as we're filling out the paperwork wow this is truly an amazingly exquisite shotgun yeah it's also the most expensive one you guys have available online at 2500 but I didn't pay that really well if you don't mind me asking how much did he get it for 1250 what how did you manage that well I bought a cooler for $100 a few weeks ago and it wasn't big enough so I tried to return it however your stores policy dictates that without a receipt it can only be refunded for the lowest sell price in the last 30 days which at one point was on sale for 70 bucks I wasn't going to take that so I talked to your manager after 30 minutes of arguing he was unwilling to make an accommodation and advised me to call the 1-800 customer service number so I did I had to wait on hold for more than two hours to talk to a rep and after explaining what happened I was offered a 50% off coupon on any one item online or in-store now I don't really need a new shotgun but I found the most expensive one to use my coupon on just to stick it to your company for your managers willingness to return the cooler for full price that is awesome what did you do with the cooler I returned it and happily accepted the $70 oh and if you see your manager tell him I'd like to treat him to a dinner because calling the 800 number was the best advice he could have given me this is actually kind of a very fun thought if you had a 50% off coupon for any one thing let's say for a generic store so something that sells groceries furniture electronics stuff like that if you could get half off of one thing what would you go and get would it be furniture would it be some kind of electronics would it be some kind of collectible thing let me know what you would want to get 50% off of in the comments down below our next story is by MCG 42 Rae can't wear blue jeans at work well okay then not very malicious not very compliant but if you want to know what it is like trying to manage 20-something Silicon Valley software engineers then read on I worked as a programmer for a small Silicon Valley financial software company of about 40 people and we were all in one cubicle office space marketing sales admin support and engineering in Silicon Valley the dress code among technical people is extremely casual as in you're going out of the house wearing that and we scruffy people were kept in the back while the people who dealt with customers were upfront by the entrance and all was good until bosses got the notion that engineers should look professional because clients got shown around the office and so word came down from on high that blue jeans were not appropriate attire not good nobody wants to wear fancy duds while coding this was about the time Levi started to sell jeans and other colors blue denim wasn't the only choice you could get gray or black exact same comfy jeans just a different color so we switched to grey or black jeans no more blue jeans just as required and that worked for a while then the message from management with IRA was okay guys no jeans of any color and so we all ignored it and business went on and in my time a software engineer it wasn't the last time silly edicts from on high got ignored but it was the only time there was any effort made at compliance if you want to get extra technical you could maybe argue that gray and black aren't colors they're shades but obviously that wouldn't fly very well against a boss but still maybe it could excusably let you fly by a little bit longer because you had some kind of really technical explanation as to why the next story was written to us by nail bunny 1313 lesson learned about productivity so I was working for a small mom-and-pop health food store full staff including owner probably only 15 I was hired to do data entry type work first day and I'm seated next to the only two other people doing this job we take the online orders and re-enter all the data from customer info to product purchases into another program possibly QuickBooks I'm given a very small batch of papers to rekey into the other program the other two people are typing slowly I mean almost excruciating ly slowly the manager is in another room so he's not watching us work being eager to do a great job I fly through my stack of papers in about two hours of my eight-hour day I proudly walk into the manager's room and ask for more data the key he tells me that that was my work for the entire day he tells me I can leave for the day and that I would be getting paid for only the time I worked now I got it now I realized why the other two worked at the pace they did I was never told to go home early after that although it pained me to type so slowly and worked so far below my potential so you're telling me they hired three or four or whatnot people to do this job when I would assume one suitable for the job person should be able to handle it themselves I am all for mom-and-pop shop is doing well but this is so incompass and is bleeding money uselessly unless Opie was able to look on their phone or browse around on whatever computer they were doing that would be torture than me having to sit there for eight hours and stretch out all this work for just typing into the computer it would honestly feel like I'm wasting my day away just sitting there trying to acts lo how our next story is by cosmic crackhead make fun of my learning disability and make me finish your project fine enjoy your eff context you aren't zoned for a particular public middle and high school in New York City you have to apply interview test and get in it's a grueling competitive process and I attended a very academically competitive metal school students often went on to attend specialized high schools which they take an additional test for called the SH SATs at age 11 I was diagnosed with ADHD MDD and an anxiety disorder I received accommodations for such a site testing classes with two teachers weekly counseling and teachers were not low-key about it in seventh grade the class received books detailing requirements to get into every New York City public high school during homeroom everyone was chatting about their dream schools kids sitting across from me let's call him a ask me what my first choice was I told him it was Art and Design high school and he started laughing hysterically last day what was so funny and he pointed to the math requirement he needed a 91% in math to get in I was already crushed but a continued saying he heard the math teacher and I talking about my 61% a week ago the kids sitting adjacent from me be erupted into laughter as I ran out of the class and a fit of anger the next week a B and I were placed in a group project for English at first they were underwhelmed but when the teacher mrs. K handed out our trimester progress reports and they saw my whopping 105 percent I got an A on most every assignment did extra credit I did not have to do they were delighted each of us were responsible for working on a portion of the Google Doc which Miss K would be checking to make sure we did our part I finished my portion in a single class period while a and B struggled to get past their first questions that's when a spoke up and said Oh P since you're not studying for the SH SATs like us why don't you do our parts B agreed but then said I don't know a she is an R word so don't expect a good grade I grinned and pulled out my progress report okay till that to my hundred five percent each of them offered me ten dollars which I gladly accepted and told them to hand over their email password so I could log into the doc as them I did a horrible job on their portions of the project and asked them to proofread it they said no because they were far too busy with the SH SATs a and B were stunned when they each received a 50% discounted for 20% of our final trimester grade bringing them down from an a-minus to a B they complained to miss Kay that I sabotage their projects so she pulled up the timestamps of them working on the project and scolded them for blaming me when a and B asked have I got a 96% and they got a 50% even though I did all their work I smirked and said I don't know after all I am an R word their faces went white looking absolutely defeated these people are absolute jerks and I'm glad that Opie not only sabotage their work on this project but managed to get 20 bucks out of it too 10 bucks from both of them I don't think they expected to get so outsmarted our next story is by I am Groot do you want to teach this class okay back in middle school we had a teacher we'll call him mr. teacher who was kind of a jerk he kind of an odd guy who came off as very condescending to students he also seemed kind of disinterested in teaching in general one day during math class he's generally butchering a lesson on the basics of algebra literally the introduction to how an equation is formed and balanced one kid is really struggling and asking a lot of questions mister teacher is struggling to come up with a coherent explanation finally the class clown will call him kid who was actually pretty smart couldn't handle it anymore and interjects mr. teacher you're explaining this in a really confusing way it's not as complicated as you're making it out to be mr. teacher says look do you want to teach this class sure I bet I can explain it better than you are right now I'd like to see that go right ahead now the tone of this wasn't friendly mr. teacher was trying to put kid in his place and he was really sarcastic about the whole thing you could tell he thought kid was going to bomb and be embarrassed well kid marches up to the whiteboard grabs a marker and spends five minutes walking the struggling kid through the lesson in front of the entire class his explanation is clear it makes sense and at the end the struggling kid goes oh okay now I finally get it thanks mr. teacher is pretty sour about this turn of events and picks up on a small detail detail acts that kid omitted from his explanation he says you know kid you didn't mention anything about detail Lex kid turns around and looks dead and mr. teacher's eyes and says mr. teacher do you want to teach this class the class erupts and laughter and clapping and mr. teacher looks like he wants to kill the kid meanwhile it was legit like a movie and the bell rings and class ended now with this is an absolutely smooth move hopefully he didn't but if this happened to me that would probably be like the peak of my life I wouldn't get any cooler than that I would love to watch this condescending teacher gets shut down in sulk while the entire class is erupting in laughter and clapping at him getting so burned our next story is by pug C regulation haircut sure this is while I was serving my drafted army duty one-year conscription in my country my hair was a bit long before entering and I had to cut it so it didn't reach or cover my ears or the top of my shirt at the back of my neck at first I didn't mind much and neither did my fellow draftees after basic training however things started to change I got some officers who were on power trips and were very meticulous about all the most minut rules it didn't take long before we got tired of it at one inspection some of my fellow draftees were told their hair had grown too long and they needed a haircut before the platoon would be given weekend leave a soldier must always look tardy and spotless especially when mingling with civilians they said at almost every weekend we had to leave they managed to find something that needed improving before they let us go we were always the last platoon to leave camp and we found we had reached and crossed a line and something had to be done a fellow draftee had a buzz cutter a small machine that could cut our hair really short he charged us a small amount to cut our hair if we wanted but few had used his services until now so most of us had a regular but short civilian haircut almost none had gone for the army look or buzz cut we read up on the regulations and found that the only relevant points were that hair should not cover even the top of our ears nor touch the shirt in the back of our necks we also couldn't use bright colors in our hair cue malicious compliance almost everybody in our platoon decided to join in on the fun and we got creative they were Mohawks aplenty not all of them symmetrical a straight weird patterns were cut sporadic long and short hair all over our heads one even made sure to shave a big bald spot in the back leaving only two dots and a horizontal line making a blank stare face in the back of his head the officers were impatient as we took our time getting this done but they had said something to the likes of don't show yourselves here until your hair complies to the regulations so we let them simmer a bit we eventually formed up on the parade ground with our Berets on mostly covering our creativity a few smirks and Snickers could be felt among us as we waited for the command to bare our heads for inspection I will never forget the look on my officers faces when they realized what we had done and it dawned on them that we were all compliant with the regulations about half of us kept it up for the rest of our service trying out various patterns and looks every month or so it was always a pleasure to see the regret in the eyes of our officers whenever we were indoors and regulations had us go bare headed without our Berets particularly after getting a new cut showing off our new patterns and unbridled creativity it was like constantly rubbing our malicious compliance in their faces when we finally had finished our year of service one of the officers complimented us on our creativity and perseverance sometimes when you're confined to four walls that you don't necessarily agree with you gotta find some creative way to cope with it and these crazy weird abstract hairstyles was within the regulations fun compliant and let you get a kick out of the entire situation that previously you had been frustrated with and our final story of the day is by the annoyed face you write on a text with the underlines was taken my dad makes a lady miss a flight okay my dad is an uber driver so you will think that people would think he knows what he is doing not this one lady my dad would be just driving and saw on the GPS to turn on street 6a because street 6a has less traffic than street 6b a lot less traffic my dad was just going to turn six pay lady let's say Karen did not like that what are you doing oh just turning on 6ei why because 6b hasma gets cut off no I'm going here is 6b it is but gets cut off again I don't want to hear your freaking Bowl I have been living here for 18 freaking years I know what is the freaking best way to get to the airport my dad does not take shoe from anybody so at this point she would be kicked out of the car but she is going to the airport so why not make someone lose their flight you should know what is coming ok I will go this way and turned on the street 3 minutes later a car comes behind them 10 minutes later can we turn on 6 AE now sorry a cars behind us 30 minutes later one hour later and now they are in the airport and the Karen mr. flight my dad was bored out of his mind but he said that lady missed her flight and that was good enough so I see both sides obviously I see the dad side because the GPS said this way has less traffic and will get you there faster sure absolutely I also see the lady side because I don't know if I would actually just blindly trust that an uber driver knows the best route to go anywhere software or not if they've historically gone 6 B all the time to go to the airport and they saw that the uber driver was turning on 6 a a way they had never taken they may have justifiably in their opinion thought they were going the wrong way especially when they've historically gone 6 B all the time and got to the airport no problem that said when the uber driver would try to explain why they chose to go on 6 a I would listen to it and weigh the concerns if they said the GPS software said there's way less traffic on 6a and will get you there faster I would listen to it not cut them off and demand all you go 6 B like a Karen that being said that's all the time we have for today so if you have a favorite of one of these stories I've read for you today let me know which one and why in the comments down below besides that if you please could consider giving this video a like and if you haven't subscribed to our notifications on both of those things are crazy helpful for me right here on the storytime channel and continues to help the channel grow each and every day so no matter what you did whether it was just watching the video giving it a like subscribing for the first time thank you all so very much for supporting me right here on the storytime channel I hope you're all having a wonderful day and I'll see you all next time right here

Channel: Storytime

Views: 36,729

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Keywords: storytime, r/maliciouscompliance, r/malicious compliance, maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance, reddit malicious compliance, Storytime malicious compliance, reddit stories, funny reddit, best of reddit, rslash maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance reddit, top posts reddit, malicious compliance stories, malicious compliance video, r/ maliciouscompliance, r/ maliciouscompliance Storytime, Storytime r/maliciouscompliance, funny reddit stories, malicious compliance posts

Id: qFd9N4fV1ZU

Length: 20min 19sec (1219 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 14 2020