Ripples of Columbine: Lance Kirklin

my name is Lance Kirkland I was shot five times at Columbine High School we walked out and we heard fireworks and then we saw the guy with the gun and I convinced myself that was paintball it was a senior prank and he started spraying the ground in front of us and he kind of hear it and see it and Dan went down and I felt like I start painting my foot and then seconds later maybe at the same time my knee felt like it went out and then this knee like got hurt and then it felt like somebody punched me in the chest so he shot me four times and I blacked out and then woke up sentencing that somebody was behind me and I could see their shadow and I put my hand up to ask for help just figured it was paintball it had nerve whatever and he said sure I'll help you and I looked up a little bit and he didn't grab my hand and so I just laid back down and he put the shotgun right behind my ear and pulled the trigger so I'm clearly in shock I mean I've almost completely bled out just shot my leg severed my formal artery and so I could hear chaos and I wake up again and I see somebody run past me and they go and check on Dan and Dan and died at that time and I'm thinking to myself the last time I asked for help you know nobody helped me well screw it I'll do it again so I put up my hand and it was money Fleming paramedic and he just picked me up and I I kept telling him put me down put me down I'm fine and he was running and carrying me and just hooked me in the back of the ambulance it was somewhere around 35 surgeries I think maybe a few more or less I don't know but now I mean physically I'm fine from day one of the hospital it was just about you know progress like what's the next thing that I need to do to get out of the hospital and just get better so that was my my main focus for that first year but yeah at first you know year or two years it feels like you know every other month I was having something done and it just got to the point in 2001 where and I found out that I was gonna be a dad and was trying to you know pay my own bills and live out of my own and it was just too much at that time mentally and physically to just keep doing surgeries so I stopped you know and I think the doctors could sense that it was coming to an end anyway you know since I got out if I hear gunfire you know far away or something that sounds like it and it's out of place I get nervous I love to hunt I love to be outdoors doing anything and so it was important to me to not be afraid so as soon as I could I went and you know shot my shotgun just to I knew that I I could do it but I just I had to confirm it as fast as possible it's aunty Shamim like right thigh my friends and I were in the first group that got shot so we didn't really know what was going on I had no idea how big of a story it was so that just kind of surprised me so many people wanted my story or you know it asked me questions and as far as I mean so I I didn't really have a problem with it I felt like I was helping I've had good and bad experiences with media and the bad ones just seemed to be more and more often to where they would say it would be you know it's already been an interview in our interview and lasted for almost three hours and then they would cut it all down to you know 30 seconds for me talking and spin my words and that that really showed me as a kid what people are really like you know that everybody is out for themselves for their own game that was kind of a hard lesson to learn in it you know 15 16 but just seeing how adults could take advantage of you like that I wish that I had if you know my dad or somebody were to step in text me a little bit say no you know he's not doing this just feels like that never happened and I always said yes I didn't really have a problem with it I felt like I was helping but for the other people in other school shootings I would hope that the media would have a little bit more respect I guess because there especially if it's right at the event you know that these people are so emotional and it's I just wish that they would let them kind of cope and deal with their emotions and then you know if they wanted to do a television interview later then that would be okay through a lot of different experiences over you know my childhood and the last 20 years there's been a lot of things that both my parents have have done that really hurt me and so you know it's been recent that I've kind of cut everybody out of my life that isn't positive so I don't really have a relationship with either one of my parents for the most part of the last 20 years I felt mentally fine physically fine until about 2015 at that time I bought a different business and ran myself way too thin I'm started drinking a lot and I think what's with all the stress with all the extra stress from trying to run the business and being a single father and I did just kind of broke me and I drank more and more and more and since then I mean I've been in treatment I continue to go to therapy to just try and figure out the the PTSD and how to deal with certain things it was kind of looked at you know PTSD is someone in with like a weak mind they couldn't you know deal with whatever situation I mean I understand that people you know they're coming back from war I've seen horrific things and have been through horrific experiences and I kind of gave them but you know for other people that were involved in Columbine that weren't shot that some of them weren't even there for them to say that they had it I just kind of called be us but now seeing into myself I'm more sympathetic I understand that it you know it can happen to anybody and it can be there and you never really even notice it and looking back I think that I don't know times were I was really anxious even you know before 2015 I think that was part of it I'd never you know noticed it and I figured that you know if you if you do have something like that the symptoms were going to be immediate you know it's gonna be right after the event so I thought that since it had been you know over ten years that it didn't affect me it's been in the last two years that I really dove into the to the therapy part of it and accepting that it's probably pious you know posttraumatic stress disorder noticing my symptoms and being able to deal with them and that gives me hope and you know for a brighter future

Channel: Rocky Mountain PBS

Views: 1,289,147

Rating: 4.9267745 out of 5

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Id: abb3vN6kkbE

Length: 7min 58sec (478 seconds)

Published: Wed May 01 2019