(screaming) - What the (beep)! - What!
- Whoa! (audience laughs)
(upbeat rock music) (audience laughing) - Wait, that was amazing! That baby's body language was like, "Well sorry, you say it all the time. "I didn't know, jeez." - Ryan, let me ask you somethin'. How old were you when you
won your first pro contest? - I was 13. - Won his first pro skateboarding
event at 13 years old! (audience applauds and shouts) Let's take a look at some of this early years of Ryan Sheckler. (high-energy rock music) - [Camera Man] That's unbelievable Ryan. - [Announcer] Ryan. (high-intensity rock music) (cheering) (Rob cooing) (Ryan laughs) - What would you have done if you didn't end of being a superstar athlete? - Probably like try to race cars or go-karts or something like that. - No, that's still superstar stuff. (audience laughing) - (beep) I don't know! - You know, an accountant? - I'd probably go to college, maybe. - Yeah, probably not though. - That's a hard question. - Yeah, no, what would you have studied? - Nothin'. (laughing) - Well, you were a child prodigy, so we decided to dedicate a category to people that are not you (laughing) called Child Not-igies. (laughing)
(funky music) You suck lil' kid. Blading's so cool, it's fun as hell, hey! - [Audience] Oh! - [Rob] Oh, I want to be a
gold medalist, a gold medalist. (smacks) - [Audience] Oh! - [Rob] Scooter not-igy, oh! - [Audience] Oh!
(laughing) - You should get a
helmet for your butthole. (laughing) Aw yeah, dunk it! (laughing) - He said, "Air Jordan"
before he took off too. (laughing) - [Rob] Air Jordan! (laughing) All right, this seems like a great idea. World's next future ping pong star, oh! He's not out, he's just sad. (laughing) Uh oh, here we go. Reeled up, real stuff, oh! Okay. - What I noticed obviously is the five basketballs in the back. So you've obviously tried
this a million times and you still ain't got it. (laughing) - We are about to start
talkin' about something that can get you really really
drunk and it's not alcohol. What would you think it would be? - No idea.
- Nah. - Here's the thing,
young children drink milk and become really crazy. (laughing)
They do. - Yeah. - There's a few things in this world that are incredibly cute, but nothing more than seeing a small child drunk. (laughing) And this category we like to
call Milk Drunk, take a look. (laughing) Aw hell naw I ain't had too many. This is only my sixth glass. Ah, oh! (audiences groans and laughs)
Oh. - He's drunk for real, the reach and miss is what happened.
(laughing) The reach and miss. (laughing)
- Woohoo, yeah! (small electric motor revving) What up you drunk little kid? (crashes) Too much have ya? - [Steelo] Oh yeah, he wasted. - [Rob] Oh boy.
(laughing) I wanna sleep in my own bed. (laughing) - How'd he even get like this? - Oh no.
- Aw yeah, you see here. - [Rob] Oh, I know.
(laughing) - [Steelo] Two things of yogurt? That's way too much. (audience laughing) - This is big as your head, man. - He like a grown man. (laughing) - He really does, man. This is like 15-year-old
little person, man. (laughing) Oh no. - [Man] Keep you hands
where I can see them. - [Rob] Okay, this isn't even my car. (laughing) - [Man] Ma'am what's in the bottle? - That's not mine
(laughing) - [Man] What is in the cup?
- [Rob] It's not mine, I don't know whose it is. (laughing) - But she had a real life accident though. - This is a sad, drunk
baby right here, okay? (laughing) (birds chirping)
- No way, time out! - Oh wow.
- What's up? - [Rob] Angry drunk. (audience laughing) - [Man] What's up? - Shush! - [Rob] Oh boy.
(audience laughing) From angry to the emotional. (baby crying)
(audience laughing) - That's real drunk right there, for real. (laughing)
From angry to emotional. - Yes it is, I hate you! (laughing) It's a kitchen party. - Oh man.
- This is cute. - [Rob] Which one of you
been drinkin' too much? (laughing) Oh okay.
(audience laughing) All right, the one in the
back, you've had enough. - Eat ice cream. (crashes)
(audience laughing) - We've got this photo of you here when you were 14 years old. How does someone so young
get a championship belt? - 'Cause I was good. (laughing) - But you were born to do this? - Yeah, my whole family
in the wrestling business. - So when you were a kid, you were flyin' off everything and that was it? - Yes.
(audience laughing) - And how long you've
been into WWE right now? - Nearly four years. - Like you really did achieve your dream. (mumbles)
Good for you. - Thanks. - Everybody, never give up. (laughing) You can be a professional wrestler if you start wrestling at five. (laughing) All right, dedicated to people like you, Born Badass, take a look. (audience applauds) - One, two, three get 'em. - [Rob] Yup.
(slaps) Smack me?
- One, two, three, get 'em. - Okay, I'll tell you what I'd do. - Why you hittin' me?
- Oh! (audience groaning and laughing) - He was waitin' on this moment though. - His face, his face is so happy. - Why you hittin' me? (slaps)
(laughing) - [Dad] Say hey Vine. - Hey Vine. (beep) Vine, bitch. (laughing) - (beep) Vine, bitch.
- She is so fierce. - What is that Hennessy in her bottle?
- What happened? (laughing) - I only want to just
punch, fight, and smack. - [Woman] Oh my goodness! (kid stomps and shouts) - [Woman] You done that to your teacher? - Yeah, stomp on 'em! - [Woman] Oh my lord! - Stomp him really hard. - [Rob] Stomp him really hard! - [Woman] That's what
you did to your teacher? - Yup, buh-bye! (laughing) - Buh-bye!
- Buh-bye! - Here. - This bitch empty, yeet! (smacks)
(audience groans) - [Steelo] Oh hell naw. - I don't know how they all
coordinated this so smoothly. - This bitch empty, yeet! (audience groans) - Oh my god.
- Yeah. (kid crying softly) - [Teen] Can't tie your shoes? - I can't tie my shoes, but
I can (beep) your (beep). (laughing and clapping) - All right, he may not
be able to tie his shoes, but he can take your girl. I got a two-year-old son, okay? He doesn't understand
that he has the strength and the ability to break everything. (laughing) So this metal screwdriver, 'cause he just learned the word screwdriver,
(laughing) screwdriver, smack,
(imitates explosion), glass. Doesn't quite understand
how stuff connect. Have you ever been around
destructive children? - Yeah, but I don't call them destructive, they're just children.
- What do you say? - Oh, man. - Yeah, I mean, like now my
nephews they break everything, but I'm just like, "Kid's,
what you gonna do?" (laughing) - That's what you gotta do
because you can't turn around and explain anything other than, "Oh no, you just gave a boo
boo to the glass table, you know?
(laughing) Kid's gotta learn, and they
gotta learn by breakin' stuff, just like all the kids in
this category, Kidstruction. (rock music)
(audience applauds) I don't care about
nothin' but skateboardin', and I hate mail boxes. - [Audience] Oh! - Man, he saves his one
homie and pushes him out of the way of the mailbox,
and then he takes it himself. Get out of there Jeff, let me get it! (laughing) - He really did save him,
he really did save him. It's like takin' a bullet
in the suburbs for somebody. (laughing) - Get at him Jeff! (rock music) - Come on! - [Steelo] Hold on, hold on, hold on. - He's screamin' at his butt. (laughing) - He's sayin' come on! - First time dealin' with constipation. (laughing)
He's like, "What are you doin' to me? "Get out of my butt!" - Come on! Whoa!
(crashes) (laughing) (lively rock music) - [Rob] (chuckles) it'll
hold me, I'm not that big. (glass breaking)
(audience groans) - He didn't think that through at all. - [Rob] Nope. - [Steelo] He is pretty big actually. (laughing) - Here Nathan. - [Rob] Hey, you want this tiger? Get it yourself. (lively rock music) - Yeah, come on.
- Uh oh. (crashes)
- Oh. (audience groans and laughs)
- Aw man. - Mom, Mason was throwin' the tiger. (laughing) - Is he on Tinder? Oh!
(audience groans) He was on Tinder though, he
swiped left on some (beep). (laughing) Look at him, he's like, "Aw
naw, she ain't my type." (laughing) - Okay, get it out of here! - I'll never find someone! (laughing) - There you have it for Kidstruction. (audience applauds) Kids, they're sweet and they're not. (audience agreeing)
- Yes. - Somebody got some bad ass kids. (laughing) - Heel yeah!
- This mother (beep) crazy. - Not even one- years old, started walkin' and tried to stab my neck. (laughing) Dang, emotional in the crowd right now. Okay, look, this category is filled with kids that were just bad ass, so we call it Wicked Kids, take a look. (audience cheering) (rock music) - Aw, okay.
- Aw man. - Okay, get, come here!
(audience groans) Come here! You give me that!
(audience groans) - She's so aggressive. - Choked out a bird,
(audience laughing) stole that bird's food. - She pulled him by his hair. I didn't know bird had
hair until this moment. (laughing) - That's my bird seed.
(laughing) (rock music) - [Man] Well, hello there. What's you eatin' little fella? - Whoa.
(audience laughing) - He definitely stole somebody's pizza. - He's funny. (rock music)
(screams) - Oh, oh.
(audience groans) - Bro, he tryin' to kill them! - Man. - He got life insurance
out on her yesterday. (laughing) He tried to kill her, bruh.
(laughing) (rock music) - Happy birthday. - [Rob] Hey, happy
birthday, one years old! (camera person gasps)
(audience laughs) (clapping)
- You wanna know what? (beep) this cake. You're not gonna get me a whole cake? (laughing) ♪ See how they run. ♪ ♪ They all ran after the farmer's wife, ♪ ♪ Who cut off their tails ♪ - [Rob] Everybody's distracted. - [Steelo] Aw, man.
(laughing) Aw man, oh! Look at him, look at him!
(audience laughing) Hey, look at him look up at her like, "Is she lookin'? "Nah, we good." (audience laughing)
- We good? We good? Let's see what we got in here. Yeah, guess what little
Joey's takin' all the cash. Okay, at what age do you stop
gettin' kids baby sitters? I'm tryin' to figure this out. - Baby sitters?
- I didn't have a baby sitter when I was like five. I used to stay home alone all the time.
- That sound irresponsible. (laughing)
- Okay, you know what I mean? - I would say probably like 12, 11, 12?
- 12, yeah, right? Did you do anything sketchy when you were home by yourself when you were five? - I was really creative, imaginative, I spent a lot of time alone
(laughs) talkin' to myself. (laughing) If anybody wants to know
why I am the way I am today. (laughing) - But did you ever get into any trouble when you were all by yourself? - No, I was a really good kid. - That's right, that's a good thing. You are not like anybody
in this category right here because it is all chaos with
the unaccompanied minors. Take a look. (cheering) (rock music) I don't care what type of
car it is, it's so bouncy. This car you got's so bouncy. Yay, yay, yay!
- That kid is spoiled as (beep).
(laughing) - This is my car now. (laughing) (rock music) I don't need any help. Are we at an amusement park? - Never let go kid.
- Should I just go? - Never let go.
(audience gasps) - [Chanel] Who is watching him? - Nobody, obviously.
- Nobody, he's unaccompanied. Good bye, oh.
- Oh, man. Which one was the dad? - None of 'em. None of 'em.
(laughing) - Get in there and get it for me.
- Get in there. You got the body shape, get in there and get us some stuffed animals. How do you fit in there? - Now you gotta win your daughter back? (laughing) Put a dollar in there. (laughing) (rock music) - [Dad] Wait, wait, wait, wait. If you're gonna run away, here. Hey, here. - [Rob] Hey, hey. - [Dad] Don't forget shoes, dude. (laughing)
- That's me as a parent. - [Rob] Okay, go back, go back. - [Dad] Away, here. Hey, here.
- Hey, hey. - [Dad] Don't forget shoes, dude. - [Rob] Hey, hey dude. - [Dad] And there's a bagel. (laughing)
- And there's a bagel! - There's a bagel, it's like a half-eaten bagel.
- But it was half-eaten, definitely.
(audience laughs) He ate the bagel.
- Look, you can see his bite mark in it! - [Steelo] He turn it to
a goddamned croissant. (laughing) - [Rob] Aw (beep). - [Steelo] He got a gun? (pops)
- Oh, okay! (audience groans)
- Oh! (pops)
Oh! (pops) - [Steelo] Oh brother, he's game! - He's got fireworks.
- Do it. (everyone groaning and shouting) - [Rob] Hey! (laughing)
Okay, you gotta know better than to give a kid a firework. (audience applauds)
Okay, so we should... I understand you got five children. - Yes, yes. - Okay, and what do you think that they're going to end up doin'? Because I understand that
you gotta five-year-old that's doin' beats for Kendrick Lamar. (laughing)
- Yeah. - You gota likea two-year-old that can already fully beatbox
before he could even talk. - They tryin' to take my job. (laughing)
Slow down, hold up. - Do you got child prodigies? - I think so, yeah. - Yeah, man. - Well look, this category is dedicated to children like yours. We call 'em child prodigies, take a look. (audience applauds) (uplifting music) - [Rob] Okay, if I could
just, I can't unlock it, unless I use this, there we go! (audience groans and applauds) Okay, she out. - That would make me proud. - She out, bruh.
I would be proud, like she's smart.
- Yeah, that's why they had to film it. They were like, "How does she
keep getting out of here?" (laughing) (baby crying)
- Uh oh. Ope, oh okay, all right. (baby cries)
- She says stop wiping my tears, bruh.
- Yup, future actress.
- That was hilarious. She's a little actress.
- Don't interrupt my cry. (laughing) - [Rob] This is incredible. This is impossible. - [Dad] June, come look, baby's gonna solve the Rubik's cube. (chill music) - [Steelo] No. No.
(laughing) - [Dad] Nevermind, you missed
it, she already finished. (laughing) - Man, it's like he's tryin' to submit this to get into a preschool. (laughing) She's super good at the Rubik's cube. She's not even a year yet. - She was so far away too. (laughing) Took her two seconds.
(laughing) - [Rob] Let me help you
dog, let's be together. I can't walk, but I can help you. (baby cooing) Oh it workin'. - Aw!
- Aw man. They best friends. - Aw, aw, aw! (audience applauds) - Oh my god, that is so cute. (baby beatboxing)
- Pause it, who is this? - (laughs) That's Genesis. - This is his son, listen
to his son's beat right now. You can't tell me that this kid is not gonna go on to be an insane producer. - Oh man.
- Two years old. (baby beatboxing) - Dang.
- Look, he's even got the (Rob rolling tongue) (laughing) - [Dad] Ay. - That's ill.
- That is so cute. - [Dad] Ay, one, two. - One, two, three, four (babbling) (baby beatboxing)
(laughing) (audience applauding) - I need some friendly
advice from you guys, okay? - Okay. - My children, they're getting older, and they need to be punished.
(laughing) How do you suggest I punish my children? - Tel them you put 'em in time out. - Well, your kids have like--
- Time out, okay. - I think time outs
are the most effective. For me as a kid-- - You'd go to time out? - If I had to be in the
corner and couldn't play, look at the TV, it was devastating. It was like my life was over. It was only five minutes in
the corner, but you know. - What, that's it? - To every black family out
there, I got my ass whooped. (laughing) - I listened.
(audience applauding) My mom just had a real scary
voice, so I just listened. You know what I mean? - Yeah, I'ma try that.
You have to have a strong tone of voice and be stern. - Yo, no. You (beep) in the corner. (laughing) You get in the corner now! (laughing) Look, everybody in this category, they need some form of punishment. We call 'em Prelinquents, take a look. (upbeat music) - [Rob] What's up though? Oh!
(audience groans) - Oh! She don't want no siblings. - Man, not only that, but he can't even get up to punish her. (audience groaning) She says (grunts). - Mind your (beep) business, bitch. (audience groans) - I mean, is she wrong? Mind your (beep) business, okay? - Mind your (beep) business.
- Is she goin' through puberty, what
the hell is she doing? (laughing)
Mind your business? I'm tryin' to save us some money. (laughing) (rock music) (baby babbling) What's up Grandma? (smacks) (audience groans) - Bruh!
- Wait. - Bruh.
- That was a mean throw for a three-year-old. - He's gonna be a star. He's gonna be a star. He's gonna make it to the NFL one day and be like, "If wasn't for my grandma." (laughing) - [Rob] He lit her up. - No.
- Eddie. - No.
- Do you know another word? - No. - [Mom] How about a different word? - [Mom] No. - Any other ones? - No!
- Just no? (beep) (audience laughing and groaning) - Oh, oh man. (laughing)
Hey, kids are crazy, man. (rock music) (baby cooing) - What the (beep)? - What?
- Whoa. (rock music) (laughing) - Wait, that was amazing. That baby's body language was like, "Well sorry, you say it all the time.
(laughing) I didn't know, geez" (laughs). - What the (beep). - [Mom] What? - [Steelo] She's pissed. (laughing) (audience applauds) - Nothing I respect more than
when a crazy slam happens and someone's filming it,
and they stay focused. - Yeah.
- You know what I mean? Nothin' makes me as sad as like, "Oh!" (laughing)
You know what I mean? But is it okay to do
that when your kids slam? - No, you should drop the camera immediately.
- No you gotta focus. (laughing) You gotta focus. - I probably land somewhere in the middle. (laughing)
You know what I mean? Because let's say let's
close it out and make sure we got a good shot, but
then let's get there, okay? (laughing) Every one of these
parents in this category should just put your
phone down, take a look. (rock music) (audience applauds) - [Rob] Oh, look at him now,
he's just a wee little boy. He's just got all...
- You're fadin'. - [Rob] And look at ya, oh! (laughing)
- I mean, come on. You just got his full face. Oh, let me frame it up little Jimmy. - She got everything. (laughing) - He looks so bloody happy. - He's so cute!
- Look like a murderer, don't he?
(laughing) - [Rob] I think he's stained for life. (laughing) (audience groaning) (kid screaming) - That wind said, "Mm, mm-mm-mm." (audience laughing) - [Rob] Glad that's not my kid. - [Steelo] That splat is, listen to it. (kid screaming) (laughing) (rock music) (smacks)
(audience groans) - [Rob] You're okay. You're okay. - [Steelo] That's the
kind of faith I want. (laughing) (smacks) (audience laughing and groaning) - I'm that parent. I'm that parent right there.
- You are. Like, no way she's gonna
know where the door is. (laughing)
Let her keep goin'. I'ma film it, this is great. (laughing) - [Steelo] She believes. - There's no way out. (smacks)
(laughing) Man, latest technology in child-proofing. (laughing) (rock music) - [Man] Little man. (whistle blows)
- Oh no, oh no. (smacks)
(audience groans) - But he knew when he called him. - [Rob] Yeah, yeah. - [Steelo] He got his
hat over his eyes too. (smacks)
(audience groans) - Follow my voice Geoffrey. (rock music) All right, everybody's safe. Okay, okay. - [Mom] Lexi, out of the way please. - [Parents] Lexi! - [Mom] Lexi! (crunches)
(laughing) - I like Lexi though. She tried to roll over at least. She was like, "Oh, let me get outta here!" - Lexi!
- She turn into a spy. (laughing) - [Mom] Lexi. (laughing)
- I'd say he was. He didn't go to save her, but
kept that shot nice and clean.
