Removing Subconscious Constraints | Heal Thy Self w/ Dr. G | #265

all right everyone what a special guest I have today if you recall maybe one of my first 100 episodes right around 80 or so we had my Guy Peter cron come to the show and if you have not listened to that show listen to this one but then you got to go back and listen to that one because everything will make sense it's like a two-part movie but you could watch part two before part one and the one before part two doesn't matter cuz Peter Crone the M architect is here and man when I talk about M architect we're going to talk about some stuff you know you know when someone says something like that makes so much sense well that is a culmination of everything that Peter does he just lights light bulbs above people's heads and my guy is on the show finally for number two welcome to the show Peter Dr G such a Such a Gangster intro I love it listen you are the Illuminator the M architect and the Illuminator like you do little light bulbs and oh my God it makes so much sense why I'm the way that I am right it's eloquently simplistic just a Cuts right through and you make sense to gift I'm happy to have you on the show man it's great to be with you my friend I always love your company and just that riff there is just so beautiful so smooth so flattering thank you yeah I've been doing it for a little bit it's it's all the freestyle rapping I do on you know just spoken word word exactly okay okay okay so whoa I have you know I've been following you for a long time we've been friends for a long time yeah and um you've it's it's like people are it's making more sense to people now it's like we're more open listening people want to improve more than ever that's what I'm seeing at least mentally emotionally even physically yeah but I want to go from the beginning yeah what's the biggest obstacle to us improving as human beings in your experience um I mean solid question out of the gate I'd expect nothing less I I think the the biggest illusion because it's sort of a catch all is the illusion of Separation right so one of my quotes you know I'm writing quotes I think I probably shed couple on the first episode part one but as long as you perceive yourself as a separate entity you have no choice but to survive right so think about it in terms of second laws of uh thermodynamics like as long as an individual or an entity is taken apart from the whole there's entropy it just falls apart so if you're not part of the gang you're not part of the tribe you're not part of the family you're not part of the group then in Primal terms you have to fend for yourself so that is where for the most part people struggle relation ships health wealth any any Arena of life that we all want to thrive in is there's an impediment based on the fact that you think it's a you there that has to do something so that's the biggest obstacle right out of the gate is the illusion of Separation which is really the it's the fundamental structure of the Identity or the ego that we think we are we are is that part of its actual format is that it's it's individual it's a separate like I can't look through your eyes and your experience I can't have your feelings if I'm a great listener I can as much as possible have empathy and compassion which I enjoy doing for people but I still can't have your experience so the the equipment itself of brain and body gives the illusion that there's a me here and there's a you there and then whatever based on our conditioning I have to do what I think I have to do to be love and accepted by you and you're doing the same thing with your own means of coping strategies and compensations and that's actually the obstacle to True intimacy and connection that's why most relationships don't work yeah yeah yeah so it's the separation you were so we are like you said hardwired this is the our physical experience is like it's very clear to me I'm here in this chair with this microphone and this pink hoodie and you're over there and got your Scooby-Doo yeah I love the Scooby-Do shirt one of my favorite cartoons you know you wel back up so so there's and there's time and there's space between us it's going to take me two seconds to walk to you and you to me yeah so how do we begin to transcend this illusion that me you distance in between great question so obviously in the Manifest World there is going to be space and as a result of space it gives rise to time in terms of the movement in space so this isn't necessarily literal like we can't merge our bodies I mean if you watch The Matrix and Neo like Dives head first straight into the agent and sort of merges with him you know I I I mean I've got some pretty cool Powers I don't have that one yet not yet so not yet so so really the the dissolution of the um illusion of separation is more to do with the conversation about it versus the literal experience of it right so I'm still clearly here I'm having a conversation with you but it's within the fabric of the hole right so look at something like the ocean and people go hey look at that that's a great wave especially if they're a surface right they're talking about the wave but the wave only exists by virtue of the distinction in language the ocean isn't going that's a cool wave the ocean's just no this is all me I'm all ocean right so it's only by virtue of the Linguistics that we've created like you're Dr G I'm Peter like we we all have the sort of placeholders in time and space but in language I'm British you're American like there's no such thing other than how it delineates our personality so to overcome that is not so much I'm going to m with every cell of your body but it's really that I'm recognizing your body my body we're all part of the whole fabric so there's no separation from the whole within that there's going to be the experience of Relativity which is actually the only way that we have experienced yeah I mean I had this as a visceral experience I was years ago stretching my Cals before I went for a run and I was leaning up against the wall and very similar to this just a white wall but you can see here even like I can look at yours I'm sure you can see this there's there's delineations right there's differentiation there's a little bit of paint That's raised there's different marks but for whatever reasons as my eyes got close to the wall it was so perfectly uniformed that I got a little disoriented like I don't know if you snowboard or skied in a white out right where the snow and the clouds merge and it's you don't have any perspective so what I realized at the moment is like oh Consciousness as a as a Unity one entity doesn't have an experience of itself without relativity MH so that's the beauty of the game is that yes it occurs as though we're separate which is necessary to have an experience and to have relationship to relate to other space time even to relate to myself but it's all part of the whole fabric but that's the exploration of Consciousness itself is without the diversity without the we we wouldn't know that we're one yeah right so that's the beautiful Paradox about being human that that's that's beautiful so then is the is the part of it then for us to have the experience of the illusion of separation for us to remember that we're one or is it also for us to be in relativity and be like well for me to know myself as empathy I need to know myself is not yeah empathy all the above so both right so again one of my quotes i' say yes we're all one but would we know that without the we right right so sort of one of these coin you know like sort of an awak weening conundrum that you sit and meditate on and and hopefully have some Epiphany but so we need the relativity in order to be able to discern that we're not separate but the beauty of then actually transcending that and realizing oh I'm part of the whole is it shifts the experience for the individual from Fear limitation and suffering to really Freedom love and possibility so I'm still here I'm still separate to you physically but I'm not going to be coming from a place of animosity or judgment or fear or that you're a perceiv threat because you're part of me you're an extension of me everything is a reflection of me at the deepest level so it it's an entirely different world to operate in versus functioning from a place of pure survival which is the default factory settings of the brain and the ego and then all of a sudden it's like oh hang on a minute I I am and always have been held in ways that I didn't fully comprehend when I was looking through the illusion of Separation which gives me that sense of just inner peace yeah which changes everything in the way that I think feel act and consequently the results we get most people are in the state of survival separation trying to have a better relationship trying to have a better body trying to make more money or with the best of intentions and maybe even some good strategies but it's always going to fall short because you're not tapped into Source you're an isolated unit so for us to tap into Source talking about strategies it begins with a relationship with our body with our with our self should we start like there's going to be people listening to you and go I'm in survival mode yeah and I'm just realizing it when I'm hearing this podcast yeah how do I move away from this default mode that we're in and go into more higher operating system or deeper levels no it's beautifully articulated so the first thing is to notice it that's exactly where you have to start is go oh wow the way that I speak to my wife my husband my parents my boss whatever it is is from a place of inherent fear it's just become normalized like things that we have done usually most people listening to this are going to be adults 20 30 50 whatever years on the planet so most of their habits have become so normalized that they don't know that there's a different option they really think that their neighbor is a pain in the ass like it's not a truth because if I talk to the neighbor on the other side he's like no Dave's awesome I love Dave you know so it's like who's true so you start to realize that who you are is a walking view but the view is based on the accumulation of Trials tribulations failures disappointments heartbreaks all the things that we go through and then certainly our care providers and the things that they say to us and we adopt those scripts as though they're fundamental truths so first notice where you are stuck that you are in survival that things do trigger you like that's always the opportunity is to see where do you get upset um you know you've you've probably heard this one it's one of my more popular quotes which I say life will present you with people and circumstances to reveal where you're not free so really life is the conduit it is the we are the beneficiaries of struggle which might sound you know counterintuitive people like I don't want [ __ ] struggle it's like well struggle is only the perspective you have because once you start to recognize the domain of your own extraordinary nature there is no struggle the struggle only belongs to the identity so longwinded answer to the question but you have to notice first of all you are in survival mode then investigate what is the underlying fear it's always going to be a perceived threat that survival is like I'm not going to be okay like and that might be rent not going to meet someone I'm not going to get promotion I'm not going to be I get a new job or whatever the perceived threat that's a future-based connotation that's one fear um for a lot of women particular it might be I don't feel safe I don't feel safe in the world I don't feel safe in my relationship I don't feel safe in the workplace and for the individual it's it's Justified right we don't want to deny people's feelings but we want to look at the fundamental truth is it a truth that you're not safe or is it just how you feel and usually it's just an experience it's not a fundamental actual state of existence so once we investigate that then we can say well if it's not true that you're not enough if you're not going to be okay you're whatever the not is noot who could you be then that's when the freedom starts to come it's like wow I've been a people pleaser perfectionist for 20 years but that was on the foundation of the belief of inadequacy that I wasn't enough which was because my older brother was the athlete or my sister was the academic and they got the attention and I didn't so what that for me meant was that my my parents didn't think I was as good as them and I've compensated over the last three decades and I might have the Mercedes in the corner office and whatever as a compensation but really my energy is I'm not enough and that's exhausting see is it true like where am I going to find this not enough it's a conversation it's not a truth who could you be in the absence of that my God I'd be so relieved I know and then you start to see that all we've ever been up against is our own dialogue incredible because that's that is what creates our Persona that we live by and we just identify with oh well this is Dr G right and all of these things that drive me no but and then the hard part is right like we've got that corner office and we got all the awards and accolades and people tell us we're doing so well yeah we even stick to that identity even more it's the dver sometimes that not enoughness caused so much so much success in our lives so that becomes then that self-fulfilling prophecy right like cuz the ego is you could say the ego and the ego gets a bad rep like it's a bad ego I'm just saying interchangeably with Persona or your identity it's just the you that you are for yourself is primary in imperative is to be right because it doesn't have any foundation of itself it's just language right there's no actual truth there so you need the evidence to reinforce the conversation and the narrative it's kind of it's so slippery so people often say we'd rather be right than free and when you see that it's like o that's a tough one yeah that's a tough one because we suffer in that rather be right so much yeah so so then what does when we go okay I'm noticing this I have awareness around it I've been in survival mode now I'm choosing to see myself as like this struggle be part of this Evolution and bringing me more freedom yeah when how do we know we're bringing in more freedom in our lives is there a somatic feeling in our body is there a clearing or better relationships better how do we know that we're really going on the right way of creating the space towards more and more freedom now let's chat about something crucial that is omega you know I'm all about keeping clean and pure when it comes to products as well as food on my plate but when it comes to supplements right we have to make sure we have the best of the best but especially when it comes to Omega-3s and and I really mean it Omega-3s are 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relatively Works in in every domain so the previous tension you know is a very crass example if you're on the highway and you've been driving for a few hours and you need to use the bathroom and the next rest stop is a while away like you know you feel the tension of just the pressure on your bladder just is very simple Anatomy right so but the degree to which you felt constrained and discomfort because you needed to go take a pee and then when you get there and it's the relief right so so that's the first thing to notice is that there will always be an experience of some form of Liberation and lightness that comes on the other side of transcending a constraint that then the beautiful thing about it it does Cascade into the body see like I'm I'm as you know categoric is saying that you can't access true Health physically unless you free your mind that to me it's that category I agree you you can get to a place of some sort of Health but as long as you're living in survival then you have to be in sympathetic mode you're dumping cortisol adrenaline noradrenaline all the things in your body you're not going to sleep properly you probably don't digest your food properly it might show up as some sort of digestive issue they say that you've got croh C like what whatever it is but to me they're all symptomatic they're all Downstream from the fact that if you're living in here in some sort of prison or prisons um then your body doesn't know how to fully relax so that's the first thing is to notice the Liberation the lightness that comes over someone and I always see it when I'm working with people I will invariably point it out so they get that feedback I was like that was a nice breath they're like oof yeah I really let go of something so the Cascade into the body is instantaneous so the Vitality that I assert is always there is always trying to flow but when there's constraint it doesn't actually access every cell of our body so when we remove the blockage which is the linguistic dialogue of insufficiency or insecurity or scarcity then Vitality just starts to flow through the body so you feel it what does that mean you've got more energy you're more at peace what does that mean in relationships I'm much more pleasant to be around I'm less reactive I'm less argumentative or hostile so relationships improve your value in terms of self-worth also becomes exponentially better so that usually manifests in your finances or in your career like out of nowhere you just got a new job offer you got promoted so the energy it's it's all interl right so as I step into freedom on the other side of these constraints there's an entirely new Arena to explore and every area of life just for that reason just gets enhanced yeah I mean we all know that feeling maybe for some people it's a sliver in the week where they just feel alive and they feel like healthy and they they don't have their anxiety that day or the depression mhm it it's sort of like that Vitality that's flowing through your C you feel healthy you know you want to go out you want to go on a date you want to do all these things yeah but but that's our inherent space to be we should be vital and imagine a world where people would be connected that way and that's what I'm committed to and that's what you're committed to doing that's beautiful now you mentioned just a little bit ago about safety yeah and and I I I saw one of your videos recently on the masculine and feminine aspects oh yeah and I I got to ask about this stuff what what is your perspective on you know we we have our own inherent stories our constraints we bring that into a relationship what is the reason that relationships keep degrading at a staggering rate you know divorce at a staggering rate yeah are we me is it because we're just not it's not a good fit or are we meant to work through things in relationship in order to come to this free place together what is what is what's happening in these relationships that so many people are just like it's not working for me I can't find anyone no it's a great question and obviously I would never be so audacious to think that I could speak to the billions of relationships out there in a couple of minutes but as a general theme you know to whatever degree this resonates with the people listening it stems back to what I said that Primal design of the brain and the ego is that I'm separate so if you think even of the word relationship oh like I just fell in love with someone or we have a great relationship relationship already implies two or more right I'm relating to something so it speaks from the perspective of I'm separate but now I found right so first of all for me that's the illusion again I'm not expecting people live from this perspective but we're all connected so of course you felt related it's just what we're actually doing is removing what's in the way of the already perfect connection so that's a different take on relationships right so you know I tell people everybody loves everybody it's just most people don't know that yet right because you have your guard up you've got your dukes up because you're in survival mode and it's like someone's a perceived threat so in the absence of the ego in the illusion the absence of it then there really is just Unity yeah which is beautiful first of all like Poetic philosophical maybe not so practical but if at least you can lean into that right then you can start to see okay in my relationship what aspects of my identity are being triggered by the other person because we always will attract the person that is best suited right now for whatever it is that we're working on right relation ships to me are the best conduit to be able to reveal these constraints with which we arrived right if it's just superficial and you're not really connected you don't go deep enough into the the marrow of your own ego that needs to be sort of revealed so that you can transcend it and ultimately mitigate it and let it go so that's why is that people think they're separate they're being driven invariably by ego constraints of inadequacy insecurity or scarcity and they use each other meaning the to people to justify their perspective going back to I want to be right that what you did was inappropriate well making people wrong and judging people as a victim mindset it's just categorically it's an onoff switch you're either a victim or you're fully at source and responsible for your existence most people don't want the ladder much easier to point fingers whether it be a corporation because you know McDonald's coffee was too hot and I'm going to sue them or whatever the [ __ ] people do um but that's why people then have this feeling of powerlessness so that's to me that's sort of the two predominant things is one you're in the illusion of Separation so you're not really bound and two because of the feelings of inadequacy in that back and forth that battle of egos you're not actually relating because people don't know how to listen it's self-defense not you're not honoring someone's reality you're listening at what they're saying and how does it like relate to my perceived safety value am I being loved here am I being appreciated versus just getting their reality it's just a human being who's expressing something now of course there's a gamut you know if someone's being really hostile really abusive God forbid physically abusive then yeah get yourself out of that situation right but if it's just words then you're being impacted by your own perception not what someone's saying so the work in terms of having a relationship as you know cliche as it is is to have the best loving relationship with yourself where you recognize you're a sovereign being you have freedom your worth is inherent and for that reason not that you command respect but there that's inbuilt in the way that you'd want people to treat you because that's where you come from if somebody feels inadequate they feel they're worthless they're not valued they're not loved they're not wanted then they are going to Garner from their environment the kind of person that will sort of reflect that so someone especially sadly usually a woman who's in a physically abusive relationship anyone with their right mind doesn't want to be in that situation but there's some payoff for her that she gets to be right about the fact that she's a piece of [ __ ] or nobody loves her and so this current Dynamic reinforces that that's how Insidious but also dysfunctional the ego is it'd rather be right about a very discomforting situation than actually discover its own phenomenal essence of the true soul that we are so you started with the so that's they're the Dynamics some of them you know there's many it's very subtle but the safety component is big I think if there's going to be one factor that people who are committed to being in a relationship really want to make it work is that both people have to recognize to what degree are they a safe space for the other person and it presents slightly differently in the masculine and The Feminine as a stereotype not always the safety that the woman is looking for craving and honestly deserves is physical safety it's a little bit more in that domain right like how many women walk around a street at 7 8:00 at night and it's dark as sad as it is to say there's an inherent fear for them because for freaking centuries they've been abused by the masculine right there's no reason they're probably going to get home fine they get their groceries they get to their car whatever has to happen but they're not at peace because there's this perception that there's a world out there especially if a guy's walking towards them on the same side of the street or like they're in my perhaps idealized well there should be no need for that woman to be in a state of fear so safety for the woman in a relationship usually manifests in the way that she doesn't feel fully held and that's often times because men myself included in past relationships too like don't always fully commit you know and that's hard that's hard for men to look at like have you been a real stand have you been fully committed for your lady in the face of whatever she expressed and women Express the gamut of relation of of emotions let's face it so that's number one safety for the woman now where a lot of women don't take responsibility you know that's sort of pointing at the guys hey dude step up hold your woman metaphorically figuratively but also literally let her know that you're not going anywhere that you're the rck for the women to be responsible and accountable for where they contribute to a relationship that's dysfunctional and perhaps falls apart is that the safety manifests slightly differently for the man just anatomically physiologically we're stronger we don't necessarily worry about that so much but where men become especially sympathetic um empathe athetic compassionate sensitive guys they struggle in the arena of safety as it relates to emotional expression that they're going to say something and they're going to hear the wrath of their wife their girlfriend the mom right so a woman's opportunity to support the masculine is much more in being a compassionate listener and let the guy say what he's saying and of course they both overlap right like so the man's role is also to allow his wife girlfriend or whoever to express herself fully and not necessarily take it personally understand she is maybe just saying something that she doesn't mean but it's a way that she's expressing her emotions so that as two particular archetypes I'm not saying these by any means are the comprehensive view of relationships but when you can look at it are you as a man being responsible for being fully fully um the provider of the experience of safety for your partner as the way that she's held and for the woman are you fully allowing your partner in this case the masculine to feel that he can say something without being chewed to pieces you know cut to shreds and you having an emotional reaction and and I I don't think women understand how powerful they are in that regard that because often times you hear from women again as a very common expression I just don't know how he feels he doesn't Express his feelings he's not emotional my invitation to that woman who's saying that is how easy are you to talk to and I know from experience that I have definitely had experiences where it wasn't easy to talk to a person because they were very reactive they interrupted they didn't honor my experience it doesn't saying my experience was true it's just how I feel and that's a power of listening that most humans on both sides you know could really benefit from learning yeah you know I saw and it's so true for the men because we tend to just grow up kind of holding our words inside anyway or opinions MH men don't tend to be very emotional for the generally speaking yeah maybe they might be opinionated but really the emotion behind it yeah um and the space for the man to feel safe to say hey honey I got to tell you something like this is how I've been feeling about X Y and Z it may not be what you see in your reality but it's so real in mine yeah and often times we're just scared to express that because we know what's on the other side and it's not going to be worth it exactly we're not trying to argue we're not trying to be cut down we're tired we have to go to work and and and it's so true that so many men cuz you know I hear so much about the men being the Rock and creating the space for women to express but we don't talk about enough that the men need a space to express their truth too absolutely and that's why it's something that I'm very passionate about sharing because I think women when they hear this through no judgment this is not an accusation it's just an observation it's an opportunity that if you really care about your man and it could be a son it doesn't have to be a husband it could be a a boyfriend it could be a coworker who's a male but to what degree cuz if you look at it in terms of the archetypes from care providers right the father figure in the family traditionally is The Rock right again we're getting into these stereotypes but usually the breadwinner he's the one that does the lifting the moving the fixing the driving the things that provide this feeling of like okay we've got he's got our back but the mother is the nurturer and so the nurturing quality is like come here it's okay I've got you it's there can be a physical Embrace of course but it's more I I I will love you regardless of what you did or what you're going through or the fact that you've got a boo boo or you fell over or you you know you didn't get picked for the soccer team or whatever it is that you've gone through so the feminine I don't think they fully and and for for good reason right like women have been beat to [ __ ] for so long literally figuratively emotionally they're kind of tired you know and so much of the Wrath that we hear the what to a guy might seem as overreaction drama dramatic is really the accumulation of many generations of women not being held it's quite the antithesis you know think about that like a woman who you know biologically we could say I know there's a lot of contention about this but is you know sort of the weaker of the two just based on pure physics right anatomy and yet she's in a house in a space trying to create a family with a man who is representing the Predator the threat that's that's no [ __ ] easy game came to play right like so women have to become very strategic they that's why they become very manipulative they play these games because they're not held fully safe they're not they're not in a in a container where they know that no matter what my man's got my bag as sad as that is to say you know there's a lot of work for both sides to do like guys have got to step up like you know stop lying stop cheating stop you know whatever you're doing and if you if at least if you want to be in a relationship if you don't that's fine you're going to do whatever the hell you want to do but if you're declaring especially in vows in front of people in a church or at a ceremony you know for good and bad until death does part all these things well then [ __ ] step up right and and and I'm speaking to myself and everybody in that regard this is something I'm committed to in the right container with somebody but then I'm also at the same time saying to the feminine which is a part that often doesn't get looked at like hold your guy too yeah let him show vulnerability cuz women crave that like I mean you and I are probably I I'm I'm super vulnerable I'm I'm I'm I go there a lot but I've also been in situations where I've been vulnerable and it wasn't met and that's that's tough you know that's a bit of a red flag right like where you show some sort of it's not even a weakness right because it's not necessarily that we're weak it's just a feeling that I have a feeling of whatever we might have but if there isn't a space that is safe to speak into then there is going to be natural division there's going to be a divide and a separation I mean the one example I was working with a baseball team and this was male on male but it sort of speaks to the same Dynamic which is the manager of the team came to me I was sort of accountable for the mindset of the team and he said hey you know I'm struggling one of our pitchers he went to the media and shared something that really is a family in-house issue it shouldn't be out there in the public and he was pissed he's like you know this is something we should resolve in the clubhouse in the locker room not through you know some journalist and I said no I agree it's a very sensitive subject that we don't necessarily want out there and I said but let me ask you a question how easy do you think it is for the picture to talk to you because I knew they had some sort of history and to his credit he he got what I said he's like yeah I'm not the easiest guy to talk to I said I know he has a great relationship with that journalist so he probably feels heard and that's all that's all we want we all want to be seen we want to be heard and we want to be held and that moment he took responsibility and he cleared it up of course at that point the story was already out but he went on apologized said hey I realized I'm your manager but I don't show up that way I want you to know you can come and talk to me about anything because it's cliche it's like oh the door's always open come on in you know whatever people say but is that genuine is it sincere yeah do you really actually mean you can tell me anything and if a woman listening right now thinks that she can and she wants to be powerful and accountable then when was the last time that you really offered that space to your partner to your man to be 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like be more vulnerable I want to see more vulnerability and then when it comes out unless the person is able to hold it it it's it's a trigger for them and then what happens with the men is the moment we just become a little vulnerable it's not accepted or loved it sucks right back in and you ain't getting that for a long time exactly we we we kind of hold that in is is this is this reinforcement of like how to open the space or close the space um a virtue of the female's relationship with her father the way she grew up the the signals that she learned from Dad yeah and I would say so the counter to that right the little boy with his mom yeah the other side yeah same thing right to what degree often times the mother can be the disciplinarian so often times the masculine the adult was only learning and got conditioned by the fact that the feminine isn't safe to speak to because you know mom finds out what I did or the fact that I did this stole that broke this I'm in I'm up [ __ ] creek right so these patterns get established early on look it takes it takes so much work it takes such a big human being I mean you know I've been in the most beautiful relationships with Incredible people and yet if they've got their own stuff and they as you said you say something and they get triggered it's not necessarily their fault but there's work to be done you know and so much of that does come from the absence of usually the the opposite gender I know that's a whole other conversation out there but like you know the fact that yes the little girl didn't necessarily feel safe the father wasn't present he maybe worked too hard or he didn't really reinforce that space of doesn't matter what I've got you I'm always here for you and beyond words it has to be actually demonstrated we have to we can't just know it we have to feel it you know we're sentient beings at the end of the day and so it's another thing for a woman even to say to her husband you can tell me anything you want I want you to be vulnerable but as soon as he is to your point if she in any way snaps retaliates judges criticizes make making people wrong is such a popular sport for humans unfortunately that whole energy of judgment um that is the antithesis of the energy that we're looking for it's not an embrace it's repulsion right and not it's not like repulsive as a judgment but it is energetically repulsive you're pushing away it's an avoidant energy and so then the masculine or the feminine are going to go into their shell they talk to their girlfriend they talk to their guy friend because they don't feel safe with their particular partner I get it there's no judgment I have all the compassion for the dynamic but if you're committed to getting really you know intimate energetically intimacy is often collapsed with physicality which it can show up there but intimacy to me is an energetic thing where somebody holds you somebody gets you somebody allows you as a sovereign being to have your experience and all your feelings MH that to me is the definition of Love really it's letting somebody be who they are have their experience and express themselves fully without any judgment unconditionally this is unconditional love yeah allowing someone their reality which is kind of a sort of paradoxical statement because somebody's reality is a reality you can't allow it or not it's not your permission to give they're having it it's just are you a safe enough space for somebody to share that reality with you beautiful and and and can we hold their reality as their reality because you have a very different experience right like you said all all of these achievements and and all of the things we went through trials tribulations that's our reality yeah and can it be held unconditionally yes we we know conditional love throughout our lives so much and we call that love Yeah but truly the unconditional love and it's sort of if there ever was a goal is to be able to do that yeah there's no there's no greater gift you can give another human being I just want to add the disclaimer doesn't mean that you condone or agree with or accept their reality right but you are respecting it you you you get that that's a reality because I know for myself you know there's been times where somebody has made false accusations of me in a in a intimate relationship that I could assert her because it's not who I am but that's their reality so there's it's a it's a it's a subtle balance right CU honoring somebody's reality while simultaneously when appropriate when they've said their peace say hey can I just address this one point you know that's actually not a truth or that doesn't occur to me as a truth and that's where it takes a little bit of time to be able to learn how to communicate give someone their sort of time on the pulpit and okay I'm listening and if there's something that's in conflict with your own reality that's where most people just react yes no you're wrong that's really fast yeah re really quick I mean the number of times that people interrupt you know and I would if if if there was an Accolade I'd give myself or a superpower that I'd ascribe to what I do I'd say it's just listening like you know really allowing people especially when I work with people to have their reality and to really pay attention to what it's revealing because if you listen if you really are if you're truly with someone if you have presence again I think it's one of the greatest gifts is to truly be with someone's experience then just by virtue of Being Human beyond what they say you'll feel where it's coming from so the words start to then become secondary tertiary you you you're like oh first of all I'm sorry that that's what you're feeling but what I'm actually hearing is that you're scared for example you know it's like and they're like yeah I'm really scared and then that's beautiful CU you meet them there right versus them having some story about well I don't know if I want to go to this thing and so and so is going to be there and that's what they present yeah but what you can hear underneath that is like yeah I'm kind of scared cuz I'm embarrassed cuz the last time I saw that person D you know there's going to be some history with it and when you can meet someone there that's where you feel held energetically and and imagine how open the man woman feels in that Bond because it's an incredible moment where someone could be like oh my God you can sense what I'm trying to express to you yes I am scared you're right and that's okay yes it's okay I'm with you oh my God I love you you know what I mean in that that's that is like the highest level of intimacy it this listen I hope anybody and everybody who's listening to this has had at least some moments of that because that is relating that's truly relating that's regardless of the form of the relationship I'm much more interested in relating like you know again one of my quotes is say most people are in a relationship but they're not in relationship mhm subtle right you're in the form of it but you're not in the energetic Dynamic of it and there's nothing more beautiful than to be in relationship yeah to be able to relate to get someone's reality is as I said that's an extension of love and there's no love Lang there's no touch or words of affirmation or no gift that would equal the depth of that connection of relating no the beauty is that when you have that depth of relating if you are in a appropriately you know romantic relationship then intimacy physically just becomes exponentially otherworldly yeah it's just a beautiful exper yeah yeah I love I love that we hit that on the head man I I I could talk about relationships all the time because we got a lot of listeners who are asking relationship questions all the time this hopefully this helps these are these are the keys that we're that we're really listening to yeah you know something incredible that I saw on your Instagram the other day um I I think it's when you posted it it was about this guy smoking in the hot tub yeah yeah and and and I want to start bringing into this the conversation the habits that we have that are so self sabotaging there's so many people that I they go I feel like I'm doing everything right but I want to but I I just can't get as much visibility I want or as much money as I want yeah and and there's these self-sabotaging habits yeah H can can you give that example of the hot tub first and foremost cuz I thought it was so cool yeah and and then and also why do we keep going into this self-sabotaging whether it's in relationships but maybe just life with work with all the things that we have mhm so the hot tub for sure so great question so the hot tub and as a Prelude to the Dynamics that are at play there I was just sitting uh it was in Arizona I was there working with a professional golfer at a tournament and just at the end of the day I actually cadd that week just as I don't normally C but he needed it and it was a good way for us to bond and for me to see his behavior psychologically on the course anyway so at the end of the day I'm sitting in the hot tub there family a couple with their baby comes in and it was a big hot tub so on the other side the woman was playing with the baby outside and the husband was near me he's like you know the typical social interaction like hey how you doing and you were here on vacation and you know we get to sort of relate I'm I'm actually here for a goore oh you're a player I'm like well I play but I'm not that good you know and then um I said no I'm here I sort of you know they call me the Mind architect or I call myself the Mind architect and I help pro athletes and people get out of their way and he's like that's awesome and he just went straight to it he said so how would you stop me smoking so I'm listening from the energy that I was speaking to earlier of being present with him and I gave the honest answer I said I wouldn't so now he's like in a world where smoking is renowned for being bad like he's in in the human world people know at this point that smoking is not good for you so he's asking a question that has the undercurrent of like okay will you fix what is inherently a problem so he's now confused I said I wouldn't so that sort of is contrary to Everyday vernacular of like well you want to quit smoking so that gave it got more presence he's like well what do you mean you wouldn't stop me help me stop smoking I said well because there's nothing wrong with smoking now he's really confused right I said you're just smoking smoking is smoking I'm not denying the physiological impacts if you're built like an ox you'll probably get away with it if you're more sensitive if you're a v Constitution if you maybe have a cognitive disorder in your lung there's many par factors that can account for whether you get get away with it or not I said there's nothing wrong with smoking you're just smoking and he's like and then I said let me ask you a question do you judge yourself for smoking he's like absolutely I said well there's your problem and I said because you judge yourself for smoking the smoking is the byproduct I said you judged yourself way before you started smoking he's like yeah I've been judging myself for years I like yeah smoking is the means by which you cope with the Judgment smoking is just the symptom you know like any quote unquote substance right that's not the problem when people tell me they do whatever smoke too much weed they do cocaine they they drink they whatever it is pick your poison for me it always comes back to the dialogue you have with yourself right this is the self-sabotage to now go to the second part of your question why people don't have enough visibility or they don't make enough money or whatever they can't find the right one it's because of this internal critic this idea that you are flawed that somehow who you are is not enough that you're not loved that you're not wanted whatever fill in the nod right and so I said so then I asked him I said so is there anything like wrong with you inherently wrong with you and he's like well no I thought there's something wrong with me cuz I smoke but I'm like well that's a cart before the horse right it's like no that you think there's something wrong with you energetically that creates suffering that's a very discomforting energy to sit in it's self berading and you found relief in nicotine he's like absolutely and I said now you reinforce that dialogue you get to be right as I said earlier the ego wants to be right see I'm a loser I'm a bad person I've let my parents down fill in the blank of ways that you get to be right about your own inadequacy and then you use smoking as the way to sustain that and I said but when you realize there's nothing wrong with you other than the conversation you have about yourself which is just founded in words then there's nothing to fight so that was that exchange I saw him like a few days later and he came running up to me like a little kid he's like I haven't even had a cigarette I'm like great because you haven't being the [ __ ] out of yourself so you don't need relief from your own internally created suffering so that's where you know you start to see that we are as I said earlier a walking conversation why it's difficult to access that is because the the most prominent and Powerful conversations that impact us are part of our subconscious right they're things that we took on at a very young age and then we've just developed the compensations as an adult like for a woman who thinks she's not fundamentally loved or beautiful there'll be a lot of emphasis on trying to be beautiful and there may be strategy she uses from Cosmetics to clothing to maybe plastic surgery as a means to try and Garner what she thinks she's missing because of how she sees herself for the guy it's the antithesis it's in performance usually right I've got to be the fastest the strongest the wealthiest the best and so those compensations are usually on top of a feeling of not being enough as well so that until you reveal these subconscious constraints whatever it is that you want in the outside world is usually going to be that invisible ceiling that you keep hitting your head up against it's not that it's not there it's all available in the quantum field like this this isn't a a universe of pure possibility it's what you're hitting your head up against is your own constraints and and I use yoga as a perfect example right because when I went to yoga sometimes with my athletes who are great athletes they're like [ __ ] yoga's so hard I'm like yoga's not hard you're just stiff yeah right so just as an anatomical very easy visual right like and I know for myself like tighter hamstrings internal rotation all the things we do like this so it means opening up this way we're usually tight so yoga is the the difficulty of doing yoga and poses is commensurate with the degree to which you're not open anatomically people can get that right so that's a nice correlate to the mental so the degree to which you're not getting what you want in life is the degree to which you are tight mentally beautiful because now we have sort of that invisible manifest that invisible barometer right we can see all right like wait a minute hold on I haven't been getting this XY z a I'm like whoa okay well I must be constrained mentally yes you know because we don't have that practice we can't see it's not tangible so subtle okay okay so so we can we can actually do an audit of our livestyle yeah right so what are all the things that we want to achieve or create or attract Y and if we keep not being able to like the invisible ceiling as you said then we have to look at our subconscious cues that are coming in that would be the place to look you don't have to just to keep it very specific in language cuz that's another resistant energy I have to I have to I should I must right these languages you know like that's why spelling is you know to cast spells like I don't know if you know but Abracadabra like magic right to me life is Magic abracadabra it's actual translation from the Hebrew is like as I speak so I create incredible isn't that amazing so as I speak so I create that's magic if you really get it right like we we're having a conversation now we're not necessarily creating anything we're creating a conversation hopefully some inspiration but if I came to you and you're a contractor and I said hey I want to build a house with you and this is what it's going to look like I'm using words hot air hot air and then in three six eight months or how like I have a house that's magic if you don't understand that's [ __ ] magic I don't know what else to talk that's magic right so so this is where I get so passionate about words and language CU people don't understand as I tell people words are the Wardrobe for the soul the Soul's infinite but if you're living in words that are by Design confined because you're not being responsible for the ones you're using then your soul is going to be quote unquote feeling trapped it's not expansive so yeah it's that's magic is you're taking hot air through declaration you're saying I want to fill in the blank now where it gets slippery is that most people say what they want as a reaction to what they don't want which is part of their subconscious programming right so again you got to be conscious of like am I saying I want that because of a reaction to something I don't want then you're actually reinforcing the constraint I see very subtle right so if somebody says I want to lose weight what they're actually saying is I feel that I'm overweight or I'm fat that's why all the weight loss diets in the world don't work because people keep reinforcing the subtler identity and feeling that you're overweight or there's something wrong with you is a subtler program which is that I'm not loved or I'm not wanted and that's why people found comfort in food like the guy smoking the cigarette or whatever right so there's many layers to this to understand where's the actual constraint but nonetheless it's still founded in words it's still magic it still works just you're committed to something that's a limitation but you're still creating it that's how powerful you are unbelievable we we're creating hot air spells all day all day and we don't even realize what we're saying to ourselves no and then the ones that don't come out of our mouth and they're just the stories in our head those are those are the the air spells in our brain you know it's incredible because that's reinforcing everyday or reality you're saying yeah especially those because they're so Insidious cuz they're so close that people listen like you go to bed you lie in bed it's quiet and you can hear this I want to that that noise it occurs to people as that it's who they are it's not who you are it can't be because you're aware of it if you're aware of the things you're thinking you can't be the thoughts right I mean I know it gets a little headyy but like that's just basic physics right I'm aware of the fact you're over there and you're talking okay it's easier there's like you know six deat between us when you're in your bed and you're listening to your head or you're in the shower it's right there it's like this is me no you're the pure awareness the Consciousness that is the presence that is the witness of the thought it's like a 24-hour radio show the question is to what degree are you picking particular stories and shows that you listen to that reinforce the constraint of your own ego or are you being inspired by The Narrative that is your true desire that is the language of your soul and we tend to defer unfortunately to the ego because again it wants to be right and we live in a space where we feel scared or whatever it is and it's very confining but it's all there it's just how again it comes back to how good of a listener are you but but then isn't this isn't this so hard for us to be like well I have thousands of thoughts a day MH you probably know more how many 20,000 30,000 and then we go how am I going to control all those thoughts yeah how am I going to control all these words I I I especially me I say a lot of words a day yeah so so it is there is there a practice or is there like a some sort of exercise or strategy that we can take to start becoming more aware yeah so the first thing to do is recognize you don't have to control any of it great so the control component is all the ego right there's a relief think about it right now as we sit here think about like it would actually be overwhelming to the point of probably death if you right now in this world in this room we could be exposed to all of the noise that's going on in the world around the world and even if that was just radio shows and podcasts absolutely overwhelming if you think about it right yeah so there's a lot of noise out there but let's just say in your own house and you listen to the radio you listen to your phone whatever you're listening to it's yeah 24 hours of quotequote you know storytelling noise whatever it is but you get to discern discernment is where this comes in not control discern which story do you wish to assign to your actions meaning what what are you quotequote inspired by versus defined by right so most people are defined by the constraints the the limitations I'm not this I'm not that fill in the blank and so the ego wants to be right about that so you you tune into that that show every day it's oh this is my favorite show this is where I beat the [ __ ] out of myself and I've got evidence all day for why I'm not going to succeed in my career or I'm not going to find a beautiful loving relationship that show is you know it's like people tune into their favorite radio show podcast or TV show right like they like the host they like the it's just a habit but the same is true of the ego so the tip is first of all notice what shows are you addicted to it's a form of addiction because again the ego wants to be right that's in one of my quotes is say uh being right is a poor man's version of selfworth because at least you got that I'll show you that I can [ __ ] this up you didn't actually want to [ __ ] up the career the your health your relationship but at least you did and you got right you're right there's some value in that it's insane so so notice where you are trying to always be right and secondly you know the the the easiest thing to do is slow down slow down slow down pay attention why are you actually saying what you're saying is it a real truth or are you trying to be right about something usually it's that or or the flip side you're trying to make someone wrong for something I mean making people wrong is it's a Olympic sport for humans I mean and everyone's winning gold you know cuz people are good at it so notice that and yeah just it's it's listening versus just thinking that you have to stop control avoid thoughts as just be with like if a 5-year-old came up to you and said you know what you're you're an idiot you're fat you know and if you weren't like you're not great shape not an idiot then it's kind of cute you know it's adorable but if someone came up to you and said something you know without trying to reveal anything that would be discomforting for you but you know what you're not a very sensitive person like you've been really bad to girlfriends you know that might get your attention as a show that again I'm just picking stuff out of thin air here you know it's like oof right because it resonates right still just noise but something that is a little closer to the Bone for you that sort of there's a Lance of Truth or again quotes obviously just flow through me but I say other people's words can only upset you to the degree that you already believe them yeah so that's that's again goes back to what I said earlier about like you know life is going to present your people in circumstan to reveal where you're not free so wherever you get triggered There's an opportunity to see what is the constraint in you and sometimes it's a it's a good thing to be revealed like you can be responsible go wow yeah I have been irresponsible I've been a dick or I've been mean or whatever it is you know sometimes people's accusations do have a component of lesson and Truth in them so to pay attention to where do you get triggered and see the absence of freedom and then like I said earlier in the absence of that constraint what becomes available to you and you start to tune into a new show I mean literally quite literally in the realm of frequencies when you step out of a constraint which is a lower frequency you get exposed to new music it is no different than moving the dial on a radio you go to a different frequency what does that mean you start playing different Tunes whole new experience whole new experience when I'm working with people and in my Mastermind which is my three-month container which is sort of my most powerful offering when I'm coaching people because the morning is dedicated to Theory teaching much of this and my methodology in the afternoon I coach people and then I help people see what I'm doing and you see the lights go on there's nothing more beautiful right when someone steps out of their constraint but what I will invariably say to the person is I introducing you to a world with which you're not familiar yeah cuz it's brand new it's brand new it's a whole another radio station that wasn't accessible from before they didn't even know it existed didn't know existed might have been there but it hasn't been tuned in yep absolutely and and then this is that this is when we start attracting new experiences with work new partners new friends new state of health yeah and then we go I didn't know this was all possible because I was going to the doctor and getting this medication and seeing the same people on dates yeah and and wow because that's encouraging because it's a realm of possibility mhm that is there for every single person viewing and listening yes like it's there for us and and and it really takes us tuning into that the last part of this I know you've been trained With ayurveda You Love ayurveda Stuff uh and you mentioned the physical Downstream Yeah you mentioned a little about about the nervous system what happens when we're in that subconscious constraint away from our own Freedom what's happening in our body that's manifesting as I'm sick my energy is poor my my my I have this illness what's happening in between sure great question so I would go back to the Upstream source of it all which is why I love the word disease right because a lot of people have disease but if you break it down into sort of we could say it's ontological Genesis of how it came it's disease the absence of ease so if energetically emotionally psychologically you're in the absence of ease which we could call you know a lat term stress you're not in ease then eventually over time to to whatever degree you have a strong robust Constitution or not disease will manifest over time because if you're in that state so anatomically physiologically what happens is through the lens of via we have these seven datus these tissues right so you eat and in Lay terms that becomes like the plasma we call it Russa then it gets into the blood and then it gets into the muscle and then it gets into the bone and then it eventually comes down to the reproductive system which is the source of creation right whether it's be procreation or just being a creative being the ability to recreate a cell without any sort of you know deformities or compromise so that Cascade if you're in a state of stress disease because of the psychological world you live in which is phal flight you're not digesting your food properly right because parasympathetic would be rest and digest most people are in sympathetic because they're in a state of I'm not this I'm not that going back to the very original question feeling they're separate so they have to survive that means then the Cascade through your body as a very simple metaphor if we've got seven tissue systems through the lens of IA and each tissue system needs 10 bucks as a way of surviving but you're intaking 40 bucks or 50 bucks there's compromise right they're not all being quote unquote satiated or fulfilled so that means then eventually that system starts to degenerate now this is all so subtle I mean this happens over decades for some people right um which is going back to my statement that if you want to have real Health real Vitality you have to free your mind that's absolutely for me categorically number one why I'm so passionate like in my freedom platform I have my Free Your Mind program right so people can do that then you can access Vitality we talking about so that's what happens in the body and why people get sick is because energetically I know this is a big thought for people but just humor me the brain yes is in the skull but your body is inside of your mind so think about it this way I know you've had a lot of experiences of being in a house that isn't perhaps healthy moldy environment then you are inside of that space that means you are at the impact of your container the body as far as I'm concerned is that the impact of the container which is our dialogue our mind so so our Aura you know if you imagine that image going around the body is kind of like the mind and so if we're living in a hostile container of I'm not wanted I'm not loved I'm a piece of crap whatever it is that people have then your body is in a hostile environment disease you can't be at peace you're not being held by a story that is loving compassionate etc etc so that's the Cascade so then obviously it manifests if you're a athlete who play footall as a kid you know and you got a dodgy knee then now you're 40-year-old and you're getting arthritis rheumatiod arthritis that's just where it locates cuz that's the absence of Integrity there but it's really the inflammation that's been accumulating over decades that's just now found a nice cozy home to express itself in your knee for somebody else for a woman you know and obviously there's a genetic component right we have our predispositions based on our genome but yeah that's that's why to me having a mind that is based in Freedom love and pure possibility is the greatest access to having Vitality physically I as a visual person that visual just change everything because I totally can see are you held by your stories are you kind to yourself yeah uh and and that's affecting your body because me knowing my moldy homes that I was living in I know the effect of the container so just to think of the Mind as the container for everything else versus a lot of people associate it like right here in between our eyes right yeah no no no it's the container and those stories are what's what's creating our health or not creating our health yeah absolutely the okay so I wanted to bring to the surface some of your projects and offerings that you have Yeah you mentioned the Mastermind you said that's the highest level one what is this for coaches no it's for anybody I mean usually people who are committed to making a difference so they could be a coach they could be a yoga teacher a nutritionist they could be an executive a leader or just a parent who wants to make a difference to kids so anybody who deals with humans but humans you care about and you want to be able to help them break free and and they're suffering beautiful and then you have another one for yeah so that mus is a three Monon container we're in the middle of one right now depending on when this comes out but people can always go to the website and sign up then the one that's more accessible uh for everybody is this membership platform called Freedom so that's a my version of a conscious Netflix right it's like instead of watching garbage and violence and predictive programming on their platform you know you could do self-development work to me I say freedom is where you get Spiritual Awakening with human optimization it's the merging and the the Alchemy of soul and matter so you know most people out there obviously there's people who are meditators and spiritual teachers that's great but maybe they don't help you to have powerful physical body or great relationships or how to make money you know so I like to speak to both camps right the yes we're Spiritual Beings having Human Experience let's remember that so we can live from our Divinity from our Essence where there's just boundless possibility but then let's have some practical tips on how we can actually navigate this Human Experience so that's freedom and it's a very very cheap or affordable monthly subscription yeah yeah we were just saying we spend more on a few coffees a month you know what I mean fancy dinners or even going out for drinks or something like that you know that's that's already expenses let's do something for the better for bettering ourselves bettering our loved ones what's the website you mentioned Peter chrome.com okay yeah that's all on there you can sign up for future masterminds you can join Freedom right there um that's that's really my legacy now moving forward is that that I want to get it's an AUD audacious statement but as I said earlier Magic The Power of Words this is my vision this is my commitment I want to inspire a billion people to find true Freedom why not yeah you're that powerful you and I know you don't have the stories to hold you back so I'm just waiting to see that number yeah um man my my my boy Peter Crow my guy listen everyone viewing listening go back to the first episode too if you love this one um fantastic as always nothing less than ever expected it is fire gems freedom I love you man and I'm happy uh that you came on for the second one thank you so much thank you I love you too thanks for having me on and uh much love to everybody out there more than anything let's find Freedom in all the areas of your life Freedom like George Michael said Thank you so muched there you go

Channel: Heal Thy Self

Views: 15,719

Keywords: healthy eating, healthy living, health food, holistic medicine, holistic healing, spirituality, mental health, food review, product review, naturopathic, organic, nutrition, diet, full episode, Heal Thy Self, podcast, vegan, vegetarian, eric berg, doctor oz, dr. hader, lewis howes, rhonda patrick, tedx talks, christian gonzalez, dr. g, doctor g, usda, life tips, life hacks, self growth, emotions, healing your emotions, self love, perspective, love, subconscious, mind over matter

Id: aS_cS4_MpA8

Length: 70min 46sec (4246 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 04 2024