"Remembering Devon" | Extended Prison Documentary Interview

tell us your name and your age um devin starkey i'm 18. so devin we actually met you last night when you came in during intake first of all talk to us about what's that like how did this all happen how did you come through that back door to begin with well um i was just walking down the street with my girlfriend and my step-brother and um i guess i had a bench warrant for not appearing in court and a cop knew me by face and just turned around and picked me up i don't know when i was on my way home so bench work for not appearing in court tell me about sorry making one change you think it's quieter but it's not but if oliver's happy uh be good thank you sorry okay quiet on set please still wrong are we good so you said you say you got brought in for failure to appear in court what court hearing how did that all come about um well my 18th birthday was june 26th and um i went on the run probably the mid to end of april so i was 17 at the time and my court date was june 2nd so i would still been 17. the main reason i really couldn't come to court is i mean i was scared i didn't want to be locked up in placement for my 18th birthday i was doing good i was i'm well i wasn't doing good i mean i was on my own living from house to house wherever i could but i was trying to actually i think that was a turning point for me because i seen how hard it was i mean i couldn't make it on my own so so you you had gotten in trouble before in the past and you had had a court hearing and they i take it put you on probation right yeah and then you had a follow-up court hearing so it was that follow-up court hearing that you did not go to and you didn't go to it because you were afraid of what they might say right well i mean i've been on probation since 2003 or 2004. i've had multiple violations i mean been sent to placements boot camps but um this recent when i got out of a boot camp last august and um was doing good and then i started smoking again and then that's when i went on the run scared to fail a drug test and stuff so then i didn't come to court because you were on the run tell me what it's like to be out on the streets when you say on the run you literally had no place to live tell me what that's like well the reason i mean i burnt all my bridges um at first i was living with my my stepmom i started bringing drugs and i was calling her out she kicked me out um i got one of my closest friends arrested with me his dad didn't want me there no more because we ever got him arrested i just kept getting in trouble bringing trouble all around me so in the end and then i was stealing from people that were closest to me so no one really trusted me anymore and um so the past month or so i mean i've really been living trying to find a place to live but man living on the streets is tough i mean you gotta worry about where you're gonna sleep i wake up every morning thinking about the night later that night where am i gonna sleep that night it's kind of rough and what are you gonna eat right um your mom told us it was a really hard decision for her not to let you come home tell me what that was like when you knew you couldn't live at home anymore um disappointing in myself seeing that i've pushed my own mother far away where i wasn't allowed back that's hard that was hard for her too and that's when you went out on the streets was was there a time when you were out on the streets that you called her and asked her to come home several times um [Music] i guess um i in my mind i wanted to change but like i just wasn't proving it to her and she couldn't trust me so um she had to protect her household so you were calling and asking mom let me come home and she said no can't come here and i mean i understood her reasoning but i tried putting the blame on her so that way she would feel bad and let me come back but in my mind i knew i knew i had uh i had set that into place you know you talk about how for whatever reason you kind of you bring trouble with you and you've burned your bridges um do you ever stop to think you know before you do something before you smoke or before you bring drugs around do you ever stop to think oh man maybe i shouldn't do this this could be trouble or is it just something that sort of happens just um well when i say it's just something that sort of happens i think to myself well how can you just let something happen over and over and over and not expect change i mean unexpected change if you're doing the same thing nothing's going to change but in a way i mean yeah it just it kind of happens it's hard it's even hard for me to understand sometimes have you had counseling has has counseling worked at all or what are your counselors what i've seen worked for me a lot is a structured environment like i've been in placements the boot camps i do excellent there i don't get no trouble or nothing but as soon as i get the freedom in the streets i'm out on my own i do whatever whatever comes my way i mean i don't care i mean disregard for the law disregard for all authority because ultimately you don't think you're a bad kid dude tell me what you think other people think of you versus who you really are well i have a pretty good um reputation as a drug dealer um a gang member um just a bad kid bullying but in my mind i see myself as a great athlete i have athletic scholarship options already a great student which i have a 3.7 gpa um i mean i'm i'm really intelligent i'm lured on easily it's just i make bad decisions the bad decisions don't necessarily mean kids are bad kids right if you could tell other people what is it you could tell other people that you think they don't understand about kids like you we don't mean and we don't mean to be bad it just it's not like we wake up that morning and say um i'm gonna go out and do this i'm gonna go rob this person i mean sometimes i mean well some kids in situations they don't need things like they're gonna go stealing they don't absolutely need it but another kid is a situation like mine when i was on my own i didn't have anyone giving me money i had no jobs so when i stole something it's because i needed it it's not because i wanted it or anything do you blame it even on drugs or alcohol and getting involved in drugs and or alcohol or gangs where if you could trace it all the way back where where do you remember it starting where did the trouble start well i had this job for the posterior and like i was 14 and it was this guy in a van he drove us all around and we would walk up and down houses asking for people to sign up well the kids in that van got me and started smoking weed with them and then i started feeling out fake subscriptions got in trouble for that and then the weed that they gave me i brought to school i got in trouble at school from that got expelled then the next step was in trouble with the law and then i was placed on probation because i was mad at i got mad at the principal for expelling me so i went out there and damaged his truck so i got a criminal mischief charge and then ever since then it's been so hard for me to just stay clean and i've been stuck in the system do you ever feel hopeless like there's no way out of the system once you get in talk to me about what it's like to actually be in the system yeah that's i mean i think that every day but i see plenty of people like get in and get out of it so i know it's not it's not impossible it's just you have to it's a constant battle you always have to be thinking what are you doing what's this gonna do to you how's this gonna affect you so you say you react well to structured environments and you've been in structured environments before tell us a little bit about the various places you've been since you've been in the system whether that be in placement or boot camp tell us about those places where have you been um my first time i was sent to christian haven it's a um residential placement in wheat field and that i'm really actually i'm grateful for being sent there because um based on the name christian haven i mean it brought me a lot closer to god brought me closer to myself thinking about who i am and what i'm doing i um i got caught up in school brought all my grades up had job opportunities because they taught you vocationals there um i've been there i was there for 14 months and then i got out and uh right when i got out started back at the same stuff back into trouble i mean i think i was arrested three weeks after i got out of there people wonder how is that possible well you you're gone for so long and then you go right back to the same thing you were at before nothing's changed where you go home it's just it's easy to change when you leave the environment but you go right back to the same environment you're gonna be right back in the same situation and um my past not this time but the time before i came here i was sent to um nevada it's called rite of passage it's a uh they say it's a placement but it's a damn boot camp man these people are on your butt all the time that was and it's so far away from home you don't get to see your parents or nothing i was there nine months so tell me about that nine months what was it like from the time you woke up in the morning until the time you went to bed at night you woke up at five in the morning you put your sweats on and you go run three miles then you go to breakfast then you go right out straight from breakfast to you don't even get to use bathrooms you go to a porta-potties during the day and you get 30 seconds and 30 seconds in there well right after that you go do an 18-20 which is 18 different exercises 20 reps and then after that then you go to it's called a ggm a guided group meeting it's 45 minutes long and you just bring up what your issues are bringing up any problems you have with your peers something to just settle with disagreements throughout the day after that you go to school for an hour and a half then after that you do a cadence run which is a two miles you have to be in like two two rows of lines of people you gotta be so far apart you gotta be screaming out of cadence running two miles then you go to lunch then you go do another 18 20 after lunch i mean you're pretty sure you get the idea i mean i went their way and 240 pounds came out 187. did it do you any good physically physically yes actually that's where i got my welding degree the vocational there i took very um very serious because i mean welding's something i found i enjoyed and it's a pay is great i mean i got certified when i was out there the home instructor ron stock and um mr c pretty good guys they taught me a whole new world of things so when you left there and came back home did you think that maybe that was going to be the time that i did actually i mean when i got home i got i had a job i had a mentor i had a therapist come into my house a substance abuse counselor um i had school my schedule was packed from morning to end so i mean it was still structured but once once they seen their stuff was going well they started to put me back into the same environment i was in and then i had lost my job i got arrested with a half pound of weed my car got impounded and then that's when my mom started seeing i'm risking her house and i've been pretty much on my own since so you're less than 24 hours away from your court hearing tomorrow tell me what's going through your mind as you think about another court date another juvenile court date oh man not really not much because i mean i've been through so many of these court dates um i don't know i mean it's right now in my head it's a 50 50 detained or released because it's my d my uh detention hearing but i know i'm now that i'm 18 though legally they can't hold me no more than 120 days so i'm not really too worried about it but at least i get this out of the way this warrant and be able to move on have you talked to your probation officer yet or anything no so you say the most they can give you i know by law is 120 days yeah how do you think you'll react if they re-entertain you i mean i'm gonna be upset yeah but what can i do i don't got a key to just to walk out i'm gonna have to do it and just wait is there since you're 18 is there any fear that they might try and wave you to adult tell me about any thoughts you might have on the fact that you're 18. um well i really don't think that they'd wave me because i haven't committed any recent crimes haven't had any charges pressed since i've not even since i was 17 i didn't really get any charges it was just a basic benchmark that landed me here this time because i didn't go to my court hearing which was going to let me be released from probation do you think you'll be able to tell the judge in court if if she asks you what were you thinking why didn't you show up for your court day what are you prepared to tell her i was on my own i was scared i mean you think about it a judge you got this prosecutor that's a lot of big people to go against when you're just by yourself i didn't know i wasn't with my mom we weren't speaking so it was just me and you didn't want to have to face that alone right so what is your relationship with your mom now talk to me about your mom and what you think your relationship is now oh well we just started recently speaking when i got shot norm on the 5th of august that's when noam she came to the hospital she and she just started crying and then took me home and we been trying to build another build our relationship back up but um i'm grateful for it because she's always stuck there for me even though i pushed her away do you feel like you've put her through a lot and she's also put you through a lot oh talk to me a little bit about the night that you got shot kind of set the scene for us you were i was out with some friends drinking a little bit um [Music] an opportunity came for me to make some money and i guess i was messing with the wrong guy at the wrong time and i got shot but that was pr that was something that got me thinking a lot you know i still i've still been thinking since this happened i should be dead right now the only reason i'm not is because i moved at the last second that's what he did just pull out a gun yeah yeah i pulled because he was in the car and he pulled it out from under his seat and had it right at my chest like right next to me but i mean you got me thinking i can't be doing this i'm 18 years old i got a lot of years to live and if i keep messing around with this i'm going to end up dead or in jail what's your biggest fear um failing failing at life because i know i have i have all the essential tools and capabilities to carry me anywhere i want to go but it's just um me finding a way to use them why or who could help you do that if you i don't think anyone like i mean i told you yesterday i'm the type of person that learns from what i go through somebody can tell me over and over and over don't do this this is what will happen i won't believe him until i do it for myself and um i'm just right now i'm searching through me to find where what i want to do and i think really my girlfriend caitlyn she's got a real inspiration on me she um she always pushes me not to go with my friends pushes me um and the night i got shot right before it happened i talked to her i was on the phone with her and she was like don't she was telling me don't do it don't do it you're gonna get shot one of these days and then that same night if somebody said okay devin here's the deal you get a fresh start we're gonna set you up we'll give you a job you know put you in any neighborhood you want to live in do you think your life could be totally different most definitely i was just ripe the night actually the night before i had arrested friday night i was sitting there talking with katelyn and i was asking i was telling her i was like i wish i could just go back to when i was 10 years old with the knowledge that i have now man i could i could be anywhere if i would have started messing around with the drugs as soon as i get this legal trouble out of the way i mean i know i have a good job i want to start a family and i think that family having a family of my own it'll just show me that i know i can make it in life i know i can do the right thing who do you want to prove that to more than anybody myself do you feel like maybe does it ever make you sad to think that maybe enough people don't believe in you okay kids tell me you know what i know i'm a good kid i believe in myself i just don't feel like anybody else believes in me anymore right now i'm at that point my family they don't believe me well they didn't my mom's trying to believe me right now um the teachers and pretty much everyone is just telling me i just because i've i've lied so much i've always past four years every time i've got in trouble i'll be like all right it's the last time i'll say whatever i can say to get out of trouble wait this time i can't say nothing i just have to show them are you afraid of what the prosecutor might say no what do you think would be the best outcome from court tomorrow what do you hope release um discharge from probation because i'm 18 i mean i hope the judge will just sit there and just be like look we're done juvenile is down with you you're 18 years old you're in trouble from here on you're going to the county there's nothing else they can do pretty much and i'm hoping for that because i know right now i mean i'm getting i have a job coming right now i got my ged testing on the third um i'm back in school i'm trying to get this apprenticeship as a welder i got a lot of good things going for me right now i'm working on my relationship my mom let me come back home so it's not like i'm out running the streets anymore and my mom set very firm ground rules for me to come back home and we both agreed the first violation of them i'm back out because this is a big um step of trust for do you think you can do it yeah you've obviously had a lot of contact with police over the years you feel like you've been treated fairly by law enforcement or do you ever feel like you've been targeted by law enforcement what's your experience been and how you've been treated well the first couple times they i was treated fairly but once they started having to return to the home they get less and less patient with me less and less courteous but in a way i just think i mean i've done it i'm doing it to myself they should there's no reason they should have to come back and back and back just because of the things that i do sort of on the same line you've been on probation in the past what's your experience been with your probation officers do you feel that probation works um actually i think i've had a wonderful probation officer dave paddock he's he's stuck with me every time he's helped me give me plenty of chances but at the same time he's put his foot down plenty of times when i've gone too far what's the toughest thing about being on probation tell me about probate if a kid's never been on probation what's the good and the bad of probation and the good i they gave you a chance and they didn't lock you up the bad you have to stay on this thin line you don't have you don't have any margin for air or you're hit do they interact a lot with you do you see them a lot do you talk to them how much not really to believe be honest not really i mean the only time i did see him is when i contacted him or he might think my probation officer showed up maybe three times since i've been out to my house what about being in a place like this in a detention center tell me what it's like to actually be detained well no matter how much filming you guys do here it's not showing nothing what it's like because i guarantee you it's completely different when you're gone i mean i've been here three this month i've been here four times it's the first time you guys have been here usually half the time like i was telling them earlier they don't let you brush your teeth maybe once a week they barely give you give you bars of soap in the shower they'll give you one towel i mean they humiliate you [Music] i've seen it personally where a deal where a kid was talking to a deal disrespectfully he opened up the kid's tray and spitting his food and gave it to him they do not treat you fair here at all they don't care if this is just a job for him and they can do whatever they want because there's a law here so what's the hardest part for you about being locked up in a place like this not taking or taking their crap i mean you have to take it otherwise you're not getting out of here you're just gonna catch more charges what's it like to sleep here there is no sleep i mean these kids banging on the doors i mean that's a pretty loud noise when you think about every door down this hallway people screaming i mean banging on walls throughout the night you hear that loud ass toilet flushing no privacy i mean the floors are dirty it's disgusting i mean you sleep in some whitey tighties no clothes they give you a couple thin ass blankets not a fun place to be no so for kids out there who think it might be some badge of honor to come to detention what would your what would your advice be other kids who'd be watching a show me personally i don't like telling people i've been here it's it's actually a shame on you i mean i wouldn't want to come here this is no place to be what advice would you give other kids who might be heading down a similar path that you've gone about say a 13 year old gangster one of me is watching this what advice do you have for me well you see where it got me you go ahead and keep doing what you want to do you're going to end up just like me in and out of placements i mean i've been locked up three of the past four years three of the past four years that's a lot of my childhood teenage years right down the drain i mean this is the time i'm supposed to be having the most fun of my life i've been inside these damn cells does any of it do any good does any kind of lock up do you think no any kind of lock up works for a kid no what does lock it do lock it lock up is nothing but time you come here you do a little bit of time you get right back out you're doing the same thing it's just a matter of when they catch you that's how i thought of it the most of the help that i got really was i mean the harder situations that i personally went through let alone the boot camp that kind of helped me disciplined me more gave me a lot of respect for authority um kids when they're locked up all they think is oh my freedom's gone but they can't keep it forever so i got away with it i'ma get out eventually i know you said you you might have a baby on the way yeah when you think about having your own kids and knowing what you've been through what kind of a parent do you think you'll be i know i'm gonna be an excellent father i know that for sure i mean my dad right now he's in jail about to be sentenced to prison soon um and i know right now i look at myself when i was this close to getting into jail i mean i was in the adult system at 17 for that half pound of weed and they were trying to charge me for distribution and um i'm thankful for the second chance they gave me but i know i don't want my kids to grow up fatherless and i mean i want to share every little thing that i went through with my kid and tell him where it got me and where he didn't get me do you ever blame any of your problems on your dad taking off or no has even any influence in your life at all yeah i mean i lived with him for a few years i mean we always we've always had contact we've always talked he just recently went to jail but and he always he always got on my butt about the stuff i did always got on me but that really wasn't enough i guess because he would just just yell at me but it'd be a disappointment for me just for that few minutes he was yelling right after he got done i was back to doing it so how do you feel deep down inside about your dad serving time is that why he's a big boy he can handle it it's his i mean he made the mistake he's gonna have to do it now i mean that's the same way i think about myself any final words you want to say before court tomorrow or for anybody who might be watching who hopefully now has a better understanding of kind of what it's like for you to go through this anything you want to say no to people when the bad choices that we make i mean just because we make them it doesn't doesn't distinguish your whole life i mean a lot of people don't know all the good things that i've done i mean i've won state titles for computer um programs that i've made i'm i do have done a lot of good but people just see the negative and base that on your entire life it's really not that way if we were to come visit you say 10 years from now what do you think your life would be like downhill um stable um i know i might have a family [Music] have a house have a reliable job and if you could even just say if you come to see me 10 years from now or if you come to see me a year from now no when you come and see me 10 years from now you will see me with a house a family of my own a stable job and just the perfect picture life i do um we've talked a lot about your feelings about your future and yourself do you ever think about the people you've beaten up and robbed well i mean yeah i have but tell me a full sentence yeah actually i know there's there's good in all you kids yet there's also victims on the other side who you know now are going through their own issues do you do you think about your victims at all i think of it as i mean i've been a victim that can be a victim it's just life it comes at you it goes at you everyone gets their turn playing the the taker together the were your victims random victims or were they people i mean was it other gang members or was it just could it have just been somebody walking down the street it could have been someone walking down the street if i seen something that i liked i mean it's no no cat organization or anything i didn't categorize anything so i could have been somebody walking out of a grocery store and you could have said she's got a big purse i wonder if there's money in that purse so it wouldn't have mattered who it was so tell me kind of tell me about that mindset like what goes through your mind well like i'm i'm not the type of person just to go rob anybody i mean i don't really do that i mean i've drug dealers yeah because who cares if they get robbed i mean they're doing it illegal anyways but um i try not to pick on people that have their stuff going straight because that's eventually what i want to be is have my life on on track so do you have any remorse for anything you did in the past do you ever absolutely yeah absolutely you what i do i feel bad for him for people mean i'm not going to go into details but people that i've done harm to because i think that's the other thing judges and you know people want to know is some kids don't have remorse actually one one person comes to mind is my mom i mean i've done so much bad to her cussed her out um stole from her broken her things destroyed the house just because she made me angry i mean and my mom she i grew up with my mom being a single mom she still has no diploma she didn't have a job with two kids by the time she was 18. and she supported us she and right now my mom has a great job she's got a brand new car she has her own she owns her house i mean she went from nothing to happen with everything you need so you feel sorry that you caused her grief but you're glad that she's finally back on her face maybe that will help how do you think you're going to feel the first time you see your mom in court tomorrow disappointed that she has to see me like this again i mean it's not it can't be too easy on her seeing her kid in a jumpsuit and shackles do you think you'll be able to find it in yourself tomorrow during court to [Music] some kids clam up in court they know what they want to say and then court day comes no that's not me i mean i've had a i'm not going to say a good relationship with my judge because i feel my judge does not like me but i never i'm never quite i'm the type person if i got something to say i would say to anyone so you're not intimidated by a judge or a courtroom or no final words attention you obviously the state and the courts have intervened a number of times in your life and usually they've responded by locking you up and you were saying before how you know that doesn't really do much to rehabilitate it doesn't do much to to really help you with get on a better path let's say 10 years down the line you fought for that perfect life for yourself and then you have an opportunity to affect you know the way the state does handle kids like you you know so going back to some of the earliest times you got in trouble what do you think what do you think a better better way to respond a better response that would have helped you get back and help other kids get back on a better track rather than just locking them up understanding that you've got to do something they've done wrong they need punishment they need guidance so talk to karen about some ideas you think that a better way to do all of this better way to help kids if you could talk to the governor for a half hour and he said okay devin you get to help me make the laws for juveniles what should we do um number one i would say is put more time into it don't just shove a kid in the cell and say here you go you're done i mean you gotta actually work with him i mean you gotta if he doesn't know how to behave right how's he gonna learn it if no one's there to show i mean you can't kids don't just think of it on their own i mean the the court system are is telling us that we have to be better we'll show us how we have to be better show us how we can change show us how we can grow to be a a productive citizen of society do you think a lot of adults and and politicians just really have no clue what it's like to be in this system do you ever think about that i well i think that the ones that had that grew up in this situation they might i mean they do but if you know if they've never been through this then i don't think they do they have what they have um an idea of how how you how people portray it i mean you don't never really get the full full subscription or whatever how it is until you've been here so if you were a judge and a kid came through your court and he was brought in for drugs conversion auto theft how do you think you'd handle a kid like that well the first thing is i'm gonna put him in drug classes i mean he's doing the drugs then people think obviously you're influencing them thinking it's a cool thing that they're good for you or whatever but and me personally drugs is my downfall that's what got me started and that's where i fall every time and in my case i need a lot of moral support when i'm at home i need support from friends families teachers anyone what what makes you want to do drugs are you trying to just it's not that i mean not that i like doing them with anybody else not that people influence me but i just like the rush that they give you maybe the and they take away a lot of the problems when you're on them you don't think about nothing it's a lot easier to forget about pain in your life if you're high or you're drunk or here right well that's pretty much what most kids tell us what would make you stay away from drugs the single biggest thing somebody could do for you that would make you stay away from drugs actually what has stopped me now is um her she told me if i didn't quit drinking we were done i haven't drank since so your girlfriend really is key for you well good luck in court tomorrow thanks can we this 20 seconds of silence thank um it sounds like and you can answer to karen it sounds like you know you've been involved with the courts and the judicial system a lot do you and you can answer as honestly as you really feel do you feel like you owe anything back to society um as many opportunities as this as lake county the judicial system has given me my the only thing i can really give in return is to be a productive citizen i mean do as best as i can and give back to what they've given me have you ever thought of apologizing to any of your victims or making amends um not really i haven't really thought about it but i'm not sure it'd probably be a good idea but have you thought about writing a letter to the judge at all or have you done that i have i've done that past but never they never respond to it i don't even think they get the letters do they oh they've never responded to any of mine if you had to guess what the outcome of tomorrow's court hearing will be any guess i'm guessing anywhere from 15 to 60 day commitment and then i'm done can you handle another 15 to 60 days easily that's what i mean if you think about i've been through three years of this it's what's another 15 days to two months nothing and the worst thing that could happen tomorrow 120 days that might be a little bit hard spending in this place but but if you have to you will yeah if i have to it wouldn't be a problem can you roll your arm just not not the hard arm the one with the tattoo i just wanted because you referred to her or just kind of hold it like you were but you just had referred to it at one point did you have that done yeah yeah because that's a good i've seen kids who've done them themselves but that's like i can't quite actually pierce got it oh well i got it when we were on intake but he kind of referred down to it yeah oh you mean like that i think you'd look down at it and said um a motor out of a tape player um vaseline rope and a battery and a safety pin are you kidding me nope the vaseline he burned he put the vaseline like candle on a can emptied out the candle wax of a metal little metal candle holder put the vaseline in there with the rope coming up lit the rope held that on fire in the ink and it turned into ink and dropped into the tube dipped the safety pin and did that just by hand no the the motor the motor tied the safety pin to a uh the little motor and as it spun it just went up and down and then he connected it to a l like a l bracket can i save it yeah did it hurt yeah a little just the outline but it's pretty amazing i'm

Channel: Calamari Productions

Views: 90,252

Keywords: prison, prisons, prison interview, prison documentary, documentary, documentary 2020, tragedy, real crime, true crime, Streets, gangs, drugs, theft, robbery, calamari productions

Id: chCLGbSYgoc

Length: 47min 39sec (2859 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 01 2021