Relationship Therapy 101 | The Joe Budden Podcast

let's advance this district in conversation and I'd like two more so get into where you you where you've gathered all of your thoughts yeah where did all of this stuff come from what do you mean where did it come from just I mean you just live life and you see how she goes there's a word for that jaded no I'm not jaded over no tricking on the whole no hoenn I don't care about that I'm jaded for I'm jaded for other reasons like really reasons and I know the game I know how it is for when the girls out by how money she hustling I respect that but I'm just saying we can't we can't act like it's not a turn for that there is a turn for that is that's a lifestyle but being jaded is for me comes from more personal experiences like when you just spending money tricking that's just like you know what it is right then and there you leave that alone you don't care about that all right are you jaded I'm jaded kiss you're aware of it absolutely are you doing anything to repair it yeah such as I don't look at all these hoes you try to be two stacks no I'm just uh you just don't approach you try to forget about the past and not apply the same past experiences to new relationships like when you meet someone you give them a chance to show them who they are and experience them like whatever you went through was like less and that's in the past you can't put that on the new person and think that oh she might be the same way or he might be the same yeah I'm saying like you got to put that [ __ ] in it's experience like yeah I went through that I've dealt with that I've seen that I know how those type of relationships can go I know how women can be like really really sneaky and this than a third but you can't apply that to every woman though are you guys jaded definitely what every man is Jo know you know what though it's almost hard not to be jaded he's not a conversation about girls beating us up in our own houses last week like it's kind of hard for people not to be jaded in in the world today though because we see so many relationships are on public display that you kind of just feel like goddamn like let's see all the negative [ __ ] like that relationships go through it's like you start to feel like is there any like good people left in the world is there any relationships that will work long that's such a but that's such a small scope where maybe I'm just saying that a lie in all of these no no I'm just saying that a lot of noblest know a lot of people in today's world would feel like they see a lot of relationships on public display you see it every girl every day you open your phone there's a couple here a couple here a new couple o couple broke up maybe mother fight this started there so you start to feel like well damn like especially if you're single like if you have somebody that you've been with it's kind of like damn I'm we staying out of the way of that but if you're single you're trying to get into this dating game and meet people you gotta kind of sort of meet people with that in the back of your mind like damn man like I hope she's not like this type of woman or that no you would only think that if you're jaded but I'm saying it's hard not to have some type and you'd only think that if you'd like didn't trick cuz you could just pay them to not feel that way see can you pinpoint uh can you pinpoint the events that turns you into jaded kiss and and the woman who cost them um just just and seeing close relationships from you know people either family or close friends seeing certain [ __ ] that they go through some [ __ ] that I went through like in dating women that's what I'm looking for tell me more about that is just serving [ __ ] that happens like whether uh you know women lying or you just know women I've been with a bunch of men that you didn't know that you may know but you are and in a time of need no I've never been abandoned in the time of need have you ever been abandoned no carry better need of course all right so tell me more about you became Jada since you never been a bandit come on tell me more no just like I said you know tell me about us preceding a specific incident that happened to you okay not sheriffy this is not good this is not therapy relationship 101 boom all but no but I just know you date women and things happen like if you date if you date a woman and you find out oh she lied and you know guys that you you asked her about if she if she actually dated or been with she says she didn't and they come to find out she was actually still with them while y'all were dating and [ __ ] like that like that will make you move a certain way in other relationships like it's hard to trust women after that it's hard to trust and you can only really go for your experiences the other day my mom my mom or the other week my mom said to me man you're gonna oh you better be careful out there you're gonna get to a point one day where you don't trust women and I said gonna oh yeah so then I started to think and I'm like damn it I don't think I trust women but that's being jaded it is but you have reason not to yeah but no you can't let that and that's what I'm trying not to fect to women or everybody has reason not to mm-hmm but like I said when and and what I'm doing now is in meeting new women I try not to bring that energy into meeting new women like I try to forget about that it's hard but have you ever failed in that yeah absolutely can you give us an example of that I don't know of failing in what meeting on the woman in of meeting a new woman and trying to put some of your baggage to decide and not being successful in it and that affecting the relationship yeah well I mean just not just not trusting and then sometimes women like well damn like you don't trust me so it's like and I'll be like you know what you're right I don't so in if I if I it could have been a great relationship for me that could have been a great woman for me but me being jaded and not trusting and not allowing myself to move on you know it got in the way of that but you know it's not something that you can just do overnight it takes a while to not be jaded in trust you know you know have a healthy relationship what are your first signs that you think are untrustworthy signs do those come from your past I don't really look for sign I wouldn't say it's a sign you just got to spend time with somebody in cuz people have various are developing patterns and you start feeling energy and you like something's off something ain't right something ain't had enough and then you start going back into your old brain like oh I've been down I know what this is oh I know what this looks like and then that gets in a way of you might be causing a bigger thing than what it really is is going on because of past [ __ ] you know I'm saying but it's that's part of growing and getting an oyster which is why I think being single for a while is is healthy because it helps you to get over a lot of [ __ ] it helps you to look at [ __ ] differently like get to know yourself and get to know the type of things that you're willing to deal with and not deal with so when people ask you go Wyatt how you been single so long I'm like I need to be single honestly I don't think I could have a relationship right now and it'd be like a real thing like I I just can't see it so how about you that will be what how do you feel about you've been through a lot of very public icy breakups a lot of things that would leave you jaded how do you deal with that as a single man and you you kind of I want to say serial monogamist but you like your serial monogamist well because the opposite end of that spectrum is mall to me so there's no middle ground what would be the middle ground dating sometimes giving it some time mall save be single sometimes date sometimes lost dating uh maybe not jump into relationships so quickly I think you do that I don't I don't think so you do I think I have I don't think I do on a regular basis I think from the public's perception they would see that but in private knew no I don't think that would be the conclusion at all if people knew what went on behind closed doors you don't think you jump in relationships quickly no I think I have okay I don't think it's a repetitive I don't think it's a repetitive thing I think it just happened if you times how long have you been single well right now in the past seven years they can't do that you just named all my relationship years I was wasting for three years oh no I was maddening before that imagine I don't know if he was mad single that was the most single I've ever seen I was there for a hot boy summer your yeah and it was a few at old summer-like melomelody was lit before thin if you if you think about it was that old can tears and I was youth that was user I mean I was in an outward may be like pictures of some of that action I was but you're single is different than those know what was going on with you back then yeah a lot of likes from you underneath what was going on with me back then okay um I don't think that I think that you would benefit more from being single more you know what's funny don't you didn't almost funny and this is why perception is just important I think a few tough I think I think there's been a few instances I think I try to fix broken [ __ ] Oh human nature is to fix something as well I think there's been a few times where something appeared to be happening fast but internally some [ __ ] was broken and Here Come Joe to come Joe to fix some broken [ __ ] and then you get whatever you get from the relationship the other person anyway in the world you feel you've healed or you don't need anything and you just move on and then the guy is just left here with [ __ ] mud in his face that could lead to trust issues I'm glad that I stopped doing that cuz that's a dangerous ground to be on trying to fix someone that's not there like try to be Savior man oh yeah yeah that's a bad trying to fix themselves at the same time you don't you're not even fixed exactly so you know that's that's the broken people are the ones trying to help the other broken people yes Louie I agree and completely neglecting themselves and just continue on that cycle but which is why I say I think it's when people like look at me like how you been saying and I'm like don't I just don't think it's that crazy to be single for a long time like I think that is so many people especially now you have access to so many people and different energy and people that you can meet all over the world I think that now is like I'm surprised so doesn't grab you up I I kind of look at it the opposite now I used to think that too like how could you get in a relationship when you have access with one button to everybody right I look at it and I view it as now I can see everything out there and it looks [ __ ] nuts which is which is why I'm saying it's easy to be jaded now because like I said you see so much and you taking a lot of that like we don't pay attention to exactly how much energy we take in and hold on to like that's always in the back of our mind but subconsciously it's there and then your brain to go to some [ __ ] and when you're dealing with somebody and you don't even realize like oh because I've seen that whole situation play out how that played out now in my mind I'm thinking like damn I'm trying to avoid some [ __ ] like that but you know realize how that's playing it to the current situation that you're in which is why I me being single it's a lot I mean it has a lot to do with me like if I wanted to have a girlfriend and being away I could absolute but do I think that I would be the best boyfriend right now no I don't I don't think so I don't I don't believe I would I'm I'm a good guy I'm a good person is that is that a confidence issue it's not a confidence issue it's the self-esteem thing no I wouldn't say I don't why wouldn't you feel like what wouldn't you feel like that because I don't think honestly I could give a healthy a healthy relationship as much time as it demands I don't think that I can give a healthy relationship as much energy as it demands whether that would be by choice right yes by choice I'm just not ready to give that much energy and attention because it takes a lot of energy a lot of time and a lot of attention to build a healthy relationship and I don't think that I'm in a position to give it that much time and energy right now what do you think neglecting that is not allowing you to even try because how would you know you're guessing no I know me I've been single for long enough like I know me how old are you 37 when do you think this will change um hopefully within the next two years so like I would want to have hope they would hopefully implies that it is something you would like to switch it's oh absolutely Oh relisha I want to have a family I'm gonna kiss absolutely I want that but I want it when is right I'm Jaden I'm not saying it's gonna kiss Terry it's not it's never gonna be perfect but I want it marriage I want it when it's like right when I'm when I know for a fact like you'll listen I'm ready for do you worry about being too old and starting to have kids um sometimes yeah sometimes I think about it like sometimes I think about being too old to kind of like get out there and be active the way you would want to be with your kid yeah but um I don't think I'm at that point yet more as these news questions I kind of like that I kind of like I asked me one question therapy session I'm not therapy but it just like that but there y'all are in relationships like so I can't really ask y'all a copy but you can be jailed in a relationship yeah and how does that affect it really no it's a whole new bag of jaded miss cuz everything you're talking about is at the beginning of my relationship getting over those things mmm but once you get over that you move into the next steps of however you view marriage however you view moving in with someone mhm however you view monogamy however you view just dealing with somebody every single day and then you start realizing all the [ __ ] you saw in your childhood and how that affects it Scott you and you don't have these and then at that point it's almost too late cuz now I'm with this person I want to be with this person and we just might be on two totally different pages because you knowing that [ __ ] you know when in the dating mode like you're just talking [ __ ] like you're not really sitting there really discussing marriage cuz you terrify somebody mmm if you want to sit there be like well these are my views on marriage that's [ __ ] weird it's scary and it's weird right so you don't ever really really address those things until you get to that step well no I just mean [ __ ] just be lying I get right to it so let me yeah you know if we keep [ __ ] at this pace with your prog you're pregnant right I feel about that yeah I'm just giving my views on it yeah but what what you want me to do I'm responsible for giving you the information so in your relationships have y'all ever fell or in parks I'm here for ya roaring parts there have ya ever felt like your girl may have stepped out on you no no I think so young men are so [ __ ] delusional and you know what sometimes okay not talking about my significant other to the world I'm not in that respect I don't think she has but let's just put a whole different sometimes ignorance is bliss sometimes perception is okay in a relationship I notice everyone else that's not in a relationship for a long time things like oh my god no what are you talking about like you're supposed to be partners and best friends and everything what's that tell eat it now like sometimes perception keeps a relationship going mmm like me just not knowing [ __ ] and me not wanna know [ __ ] is fine no but hold on you're not really [ __ ] and not wanting to know [ __ ] is women too whorey with a twenty-foot ortho sometimes that's why I just I laugh it at the timeline so much in granted I've been a relationship five six years somewhere in that that range and I know that's a small amount compared to a lot of people yeah but I still have a little bit more knowledge than the people on the timeline that give this [ __ ] fairy tale that they think our relationship should be right yeah and it's not that yeah it's never you and and I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to look for the perfect cuz it's not that you are if there's no such thing as the perfect no and I know that you're gonna come off like that no that's what I'm trying to put that I know people I'm definitely not I know that I will never have the perfect I'm just saying I want to be at my best and I don't think right now I'm at my best for a healthy relationship I don't believe that so sometimes yes but but or it would be me being in a relationship right now and not knowing that I'm 100% committed in there and then it would be a lot of other [ __ ] I got to do it because it will be my [ __ ] so now I'm in a relationship I'm not spending so you get picking fancy ways to say that you want to continue to follow more I'm loyal to you that's not it cuz I'm not even that type of do now cuz I don't know if you ever ready for something and you're not really describing yourself professionally you're okay personally I know I have nothing to do with your so I know that's why I'm gonna continue list and say personally your family has their health y'all well everything is good you're well-traveled your skin is [ __ ] lathered you take good care you great hair line mm-hmm you're charming you're attentive all of these things you try taking on a date every week more first of all relax calm down we just chilling the cream is smoke balls coming you think yeah you jump off you are jump off it's okay all of these things that you described and all of these characteristics that I've seen you put on full display foot for people that you may not be committed to hmm what's the difference we mean I'm just saying the [ __ ] that you describing as to why you would not do something it's not really ineffective hmm like I don't it doesn't appear that way always I wouldn't be my best I wouldn't be my best me I wouldn't be my best self I don't feel like I'm in a position to give the attention it's not like I'm out here as a single man 2500 single man [ __ ] above the 10 grand it's not even it's not even about that I just know that I'm not ready to be in a relationship with like okay all of my time and attention is here like I'm no I'm not and it has nothing to do one too [ __ ] about you're not gonna know that until you do that with that person that's not sure like I think I know the perfect girl Delta I think a majority of the successful race relationships are not people out there seeking a relationship I think they meet somebody oh wow I guess this is what I'm you know this is pretty close I'm not seeking anything no I know that I want sex but I'm not seeking it I'm saying I was where you were as far as your fancy way of saying [ __ ] [ __ ] Rory job Jules oh no yacht was once where you were hmm no Rory did that so more didn't have to go through that but yeah no I was doing the running through the [ __ ] thing and then you meet somebody wasn't a plan ladies room well now someone will be now now this night was [ __ ] ladies and [ __ ] we know that some women if I got lucky well yeah wasn't something that I Blake was like you know I'm really ready for this Rory try to school us that he was the man at one point no man I was I remember when I was running through the [ __ ] women is great pitches are some lower tiers feet oh yeah I wasn't like yo I'm ready I know I can give it my all and I'm this person I'm a whole person not you make it work if you want to be with that person I had I had to figure that out you speak but I know look at you listen yo when you want to be with someone you make it worry I'm all my Joe Parrs I've never listened to you and Cyn have a conversation

Channel: Joe Budden TV

Views: 111,459

Keywords: JOE BUDDEN, joe budden 2019, hiphop, rap, JOE BUDDEN TV, Slaughterhouse, i'll name this podcast later, podcast, The Joe Budden Podcast, Joe Budden Podcast, state of the culture, revolt, revolt tv, pull up, JBP

Id: oah1Pvl8JmM

Length: 21min 19sec (1279 seconds)

Published: Wed Sep 18 2019