- It is not Mothers Day. (laughter) But I am wearing socks. (laughter) You take out your message
notes inside your program. Have I told you lately
how much I love you? I do. I wanna say hi to all our 20
different campuses out there, we love you and we thank God for you. Take out your message notes, today, I want us to look at the
subject of recovering from traumatic experiences, recovering from traumatic experiences. We are in this series called, Rethinking Your Life. And we are rethinking
different areas of our life and one of the areas we're
gonna have to rethink to be all that God wants
us to be is rethinking how we handle traumatic
experiences in life. Now this message is actually
gonna be in three parts. The first part, we're gonna
look at what God says about evil and suffering and pain in life and trauma. The second part, you're gonna hear a testimony of a woman who went through significant trauma. And in the third part, you're gonna hear an interview
of a leader from Rwanda who has been involved in the recovery from the trauma of the genocide
of 1994 in that country. So all three of these
are gonna go together. Now let me start by just giving
you a definition of trauma. I wrote it down. Trauma is an experience of
feeling either overwhelmed or helpless or paralyzed, overwhelmed, helpless, paralyzed, maybe frightened by a
deeply distressing event. That's what trauma is, being overwhelmed or
paralyzed or frightened or just feeling helpless by some kind of deeply traumatizing event in your life. Now, trauma can come from
a lot of different places. It can come from abuse, it can come from abandonment, it can come from mistreatment, it come from betrayal, it can come from rejection, it can come from abandonment. Obviously the death of a loved
one can be very traumatic, divorce can be traumatic, a deeply distressing event in your life, a violent accident, being a victim of a crime, can be like a scam. You've been scammed, you were swindled, that can be traumatizing. But the kind of trauma that I want us to focus on this weekend is the kind that has
occurred when an evil person traumatizes you with their evil, either an abuse or in some way, you have been traumatized by
the actions of another person. I'm not talking about hurricanes, I'm not talking about a bankruptcy, I'm talking about when
you've been traumatized by the actions of somebody
else who was very hurtful, maybe violent towards you. Now at some point in your life, you're gonna have the
most traumatizing event. Mine was six years ago when
my youngest son took his life after struggling with mental
illness for his entire life. Nothing I can imagine
would be more traumatic than losing my son who took his own life. But every day in the world, there are evil people doing
evil things to innocent people. And that's what I want us
to talk about this weekend. And of course, that's
what happened in Rwanda. Every day there's injustice, every day there is bigotry, there's bias, there is prejudice, there's unfairness, things like that. And as I said, at some point, you're gonna face trauma in your life. So what does God say about it? What does God say about evil and what does God say about trauma? Now, when we talk about this, the first thing that
people always ask is, okay, this is a good question. If God is truly good, if God is truly loving, if God is so loving and good and gracious, why doesn't he just get rid of evil? Why didn't he just wipe it out? Why does he let bad things
happen to good people? Why doesn't he just wipe
out all kinds of evil? What good questions, legitimate question. First you have to define evil. What is evil? Because we always think
evil is something out there. Evil is anything that opposes God, rebels against God, disobeys God, rejects God or ignores God. Now, if that's what evil is, the opposite of what God is, God is good and evil
is the opposite of God, then I have made evil choices in my life and so have you. So have you. You have not always done
what God said to do, you have not always done
what's best for other people, you have made evil choices and I have made evil choices too. The Bible says no one gets
off clean on this one. And so really the answer of why does God allow evil in the world, why doesn't he just
wipe out evil right now, the answer actually has two parts. The first is in fact, God is
gonna wipe out evil one day. At the end of history, he's gonna send all evil to hell. The Bible says hell was created for evil. Hell was created for
the devil and his angels and God is going to banish it all and they'll be an eternal
punishment in hell. God is gonna end evil one day. You say, well, why doesn't
he do it right now? Well, he could, in fact, God could
eliminate evil instantly by doing one simple thing, take away our freedom to choose. Because where does evil come from? Our bad choices. See, if God took away
my freedom to choose, your freedom to choose, then there wouldn't be
any evil in the world. Everything would always be good, but you would have no choice about it, you would always do the right thing. You would never do anything wrong, you'd never do anything selfish, you'd never do anything unkind, you'd never do anything hurtful. Be real simple, God takes away your freedom of choice and there would be no evil. Now I need to give you
a little backstory on why you exist. The first thing is the
Bible says, God is love, that God is a God of love and you were created to be loved by God. That's why you exist. God made you to love you. God wanted a family. God wanted children. That's the first thing you need to know. The whole reason you exist
is because God made you to love you and if he
hadn't wanted to love you, you would not exist. God made you to love you, God wanted children to love. Second thing you need know is, he wants you to love him back. Nothing wrong. Every parent understands that. Every parent wants their
kids to love them back. God wants you to love him back. But here's the issue, love cannot be coerced, it can't be forced, you can't make people love you. Anybody who's been through
a divorce knows that. You couldn't make somebody
fall in love with you, you can't make somebody
stay in love with you. Love cannot be forced. It has to be voluntary, it has to be willing, it has to be a choice. If there's no choice, there's no love. That makes sense? Okay, so I can't love God
unless I have the freedom to not love him. Does that make sense? It's not real love. If I'm forced to love him, then I'm just a puppet, I'm a marionette on strings
and it's not real love. So God gave you the freedom to choose. That's your greatest blessing
and it's your greatest curse. And all of the evil
that exists in the world is because we were given
the freedom to choose and we don't always
choose to do what's right. In fact, people do choose
to do wrong all the time, I do, you do and everybody else does, Hitler did and everybody else. God could easily get rid of evil, just take away our freedom to choose. It is the alternative or the
alternative that allows you to willingly love him. And God says, okay, I'm gonna
give you the freedom to choose and you can either accept me or reject me, you can obey me or you can disobey me, you can love me or not love me, you can trust me or you can distrust me, you can doubt me. That's all. God gives you that freedom. You're free to make any choice you want. You're not free from
the consequences of it, but you are free to make your choice. And so God could have just
taken away all of our freedom and then we wouldn't have
any evil in the world. The Bible says, every human
being has made wrong choices and that's called sin. I've made wrong choices, you have too. There have been times I said, I know what God wants to do, but I'm gonna do what I think is best because I think I know better than God. I think this will give me more pleasure, I think this will make me more happy. I think this is what I want. It's not what other people want, it's not what God wants, is what I want. That's called sin. Here's what the Bible says. Look at the verse, Romans 5:12, sin came into the world
because of what one man did, that's Adam. And with sin came death. Did you know that before Adam's sin, there was no death. Adam could have just lived
for eternity on earth in the garden of Eden. He could have lived for
eternity in paradise, but the moment sin and evil
entered the world, God goes, I don't want you living on a planet where there's sin and evil for eternity and so death entered the world. I'm glad I don't have to live
on this planet for eternity. I want to live forever, I just don't want to live where
there's suffering and sorrow and sadness and sickness and disease and death and depression and racism and all the
other problems in the world. I just don't wanna live
there for eternity. I want to live for eternity, I just want to live in a perfect place. And once earth was
broken by sin and death, God says, well, you're not
gonna live here forever. Now it says, notice that verse, it says, sin came into the world
because of what one man did. He chose between the
knowledge of good and evil and he chose evil and with sin came death. By the way, not just death came with that, sin created a lot of other problems too. Let me read you a list. I made this list yesterday. None of us, none of the
things on this list, were in the garden of Eden in paradise, decay, damage, debauchery, debt, disabilities, deceit, defeat, defiance, defilement, dehumanization, none of these were in the garden of Eden. Delusions, dementia, depravity, deprivation, date, deviants, dictators, disunity, deportation, despotism, disloyalty, disgrace, depression, destruction, devastation,
desertion, distress, disease, divorce, dysfunction, none of these were in paradise. Distrust, disputes, destitution, disease, disasters, desperation and despair, that's what sin brought into the world. So you wanna know why there's
suffering in the world? There's suffering in the world
because there's sin and evil. And why is there sin
and evil in the world? Because God gave us the choice and none of us have chosen
correctly all the time. Now, let me give you a couple other things the Bible says about it. Number two, everything on earth... This leads to the second one. Everything on earth is
broken by sin and by evil. Everything on earth is
broken by sin and by evil. Nothing on this planet works
correctly all the time. The only thing perfect on
planet earth is God's word, but our relationships are broken, the weather is broken, the economy is broken, your body is broken. It doesn't... Have you noticed your body
doesn't always work correctly? Have you noticed your relationships don't always work correctly? The economy doesn't always work correctly? Nothing works correctly
cause we live now on a planet broken by evil and by sin. Now, Jesus warned in the world, you will have tribulation. He said, count on it cause
we're on a broken planet. This is not heaven. We want heaven to be... We want earth to be heaven, heaven everything is perfect. It works perfectly. God's will is done completely, instantly, continuously, quickly, all the time. None of that's true on earth. God's will is done seldom, incompletely, incorrectly and often just ignored. That's why James says in
the book of James, he says, don't be surprised when you
have trials on the earth. You don't need these... This is not heaven. That's the place that's perfect. Things don't work here, nothing works perfectly here. That's why Jesus said in Matthew 24:12, there will be more and
more evil in the world, so most people will stop showing
their love for each other. He said it's gonna increase over time. Number three, this is
an interesting point. God grieves when he sees us hurting. Sin and evil cause pain, cause suffering, cause hurt. And he said, well, what does
God think about all this when he sees people hurting
from all these things I just read, abuse and assault and
abandonment and all those. God grieves when he sees
his children hurting. It may surprise you to
know that God has emotions, God has emotions. But why do you have emotions? The only reason you have emotions is you are made in God's image. The Bible says God gets angry, the Bible says, God grieves, the Bible says God laughs, the Bible says God is sorrowful, he's sad. God has emotion. God is an emotional God. He feels things when he
sees us hurting each other, when he sees mans inhumanity to humanity, it bothers him, it grieves him. Look up here on the screen, in Genesis chapter six it says, in Noah's day, the Lord was deeply grieved that he had made man and his
heart was filled with pain. His heart was filled with pain. You know the shortest verse
in the Bible is this next one, John 11:35, Jesus wept. It's the shortest verse in the Bible, but it's filled with importance, why? Because it shows that God grieves, Jesus wept. When God sees you in pain,
he grieves too, alright? And so like a parent
watching a child in pain, look at this verse. The Bible says in Isaiah 63:9, in all their suffering, he, that's God, suffered too. In all their suffering he suffered too. I want you to write this
down in your outline. God suffers with me. That's one of the most important
things I want you to learn today, is that God suffers with me. When I suffer, God suffers. We don't have an apathetic God
who's an apathetic to pain. When he sees me suffering,
he suffers with me. When he sees you suffering,
he suffers with you. Of course, the greatest example of this was when Jesus came to earth, he suffered evil with us. This next week we're gonna
celebrate the holy week with Good Friday and Easter. The greatest evil ever done
was done to Jesus Christ on the cross. Where someone who was perfect, the only perfect person to
ever live because he was God, the son of God. He was innocent, he's tortured, he's abused, he's humiliated, he's murdered. That was evil. That was evil before Easter. God suffers with me. Look at this next verse, Psalm 55:8, you, Lord, keep a record
of all my sorrows. You collected all my tears in your bottle and you list each one in your book. Is that one of the most amazing verses? Let me read it again. You, Lord, keep a record of all my sorrows and you collected all
my tears in your bottle and you list each one in your book. Not only has God has seen every tear that's fallen from your face, he's counted them. That's how much God cares about you. That's how much God loves you. That's how compassionate, that's how much God feels your pain. He's not just seeing
every tear you've cried, he's counted them, he's recorded them in a book. I want you to write this on your outline. God pays attention to
the details of my pain. Some of you are in
tremendous pain right now and you think God doesn't even care, God doesn't even know, oh, he knows more than he knows, he's keeping a record and
more than keeping a record, it pains him. God suffers with us. We serve a suffering God. A lady once asked me, where was my God? Where was God when my son died? I said he was the same place
he was when his son died. He was weeping, he was grieving at what men, what humanity was doing
to his son, Jesus Christ on the cross. He was grieving, he was weeping. God says, I suffer with you, I grieve with you, I pay attention to the
details of your pain. Number four, the fourth thing
we know about evil and trauma is that one day God will
judge everyone justly. God will judge everyone justly one day. God is a God of justice and evil will not get
away with evil forever. There is a day of reckoning coming, there is a judgment day. God is not just loving, he is lovingly just. God is both. God cares about justice. God cares about justice more than you do. You say, I want justice
for what was done to me. Believe me, there will
be a day of justice, there will be a day of reckoning, there will be a day of judgment. The Bible says it is an
awesome and fearful thing to fall into the hands of
God and the day of justice because God's not just a God of love, he is a God of justice and what is wrong must be righted. Hebrews 11:27, look up here on the screen. God has appointed that
every person will die and after that they face the judgment. God has appointed, that is one appointment
you're not gonna be late for. That is one appointment you can't cancel. That is one appointment
you're not gonna miss. That appointment has
already been set in history when you're gonna die
and it says after that, you're gonna face the judgment. Now, a lot of people
think they're getting away with secret sin, but let
me show you another verse. Look at this, Hebrews 4:13, people say, well, nobody
knows what I'm doing, well God does. Hebrews 4:13 says, nothing
can be hidden from God. Everything in all creation
is exposed to his eyes and each of us will give an
account of our lives to him. That's the justice part of God. It's why we need salvation, it's why we need a savior. Because without that, all we've
got is justice and judgment. Nothing can be hidden from God's eyes. God sees it all. I think I'm getting away with something cause maybe nobody knows about it. The most important person in the world, in the universe knows, God knows. And so what am I saying? God says this about evil and trauma, evil is the downside of our free choice. It's the downside of our free choice. Number two, everything on earth
is broken by sin and evil. Number three, God grieves when
he sees evil and sin hurt us. Number Four, God's gonna
judge everyone justly one day, but there's one more
and this is good news. Number five, God can bring
good out of bad if we trust him and only God can do that. Anybody can bring good out of good, that's no big deal. You can do that, I could do that, bring good out of good. God specializes in
bringing good out of bad. God specializes in turning
crucifixions into resurrections. And the worst thing that happened, the worst evil in history, God used to save the world. He can bring good out
of bad if we trust him. We looked at this verse
last week, Romans 8:28, we know that in all things,
that's even the bad stuff, God works for the good
of those who love him. For those who have been called
according to his purpose. If we're living for God's
purpose, God is saying, I will use even the bad
stuff, even the trauma, even the parts that you're
most embarrassed or ashamed or wish it never happened. He says, I can even use that too. I'm a God who knows how to
bring good, even out of bad. If you'll give me the pieces, I will give you peace. Now Kay is gonna come and
lead us in the second part of this message. - I first heard of Rwanda in 1994, April of 1994. I was getting ready to teach
a women's Bible study here on campus. And I had the news on and I
saw these pictures and stories beginning to trickle in
of horrendous genocide against the Tutsi happening in a country that
I had never heard of before. And I was so disturbed by that and I went to Bible study that morning and I asked those who had gathered, we must pray for what is
happening in this place so far from us. And over the next 100 days, the news and the stories just
got worse and worse and worse and I felt so helpless. Like there was absolutely
nothing that I could do. And then my heart was heartbroken for what the suffering
that so many were enduring. I want you to watch a testimony
of a woman who lived through those 100 days of genocide
against the Tutsi. - In 1994, I had no idea, I couldn't even begin to envision that one day I would stand in
the cities and the villages and the churches and the schools and the hospitals and the communities where those terrible killings took place. I never dreamed that I would
meet women like Annick. I never knew that I would meet women widowed by the genocide, women who were infected with
HIV because of violent rape and violence against them. I never knew that I would
come to love orphaned children who had died, whose parents had died
in that terrible genocide against the Tutsi. I had no idea in 1994, that there would be an opportunity for me to be an eye witness to
the incredible healing and restoration and rebuilding of a very beautiful but
bruised nation and people. I had no idea that one day
my niece would love Rwanda so much that she and her
husband would move there to serve God, that my grand niece and
nephew would be singing praises to Jesus in Kinyarwanda. I never knew that close friends
would adopt three children from Rwanda and I would grow to love them. I never ever would have
known that all of my heart and my resources and my
passion would be so intertwined with this tiny country in
the continent of Africa. But in 2005, in the way that things
happen in this life, so many times unconnected
pieces began to come together. A man on our staff talked to his mentor who knew a businessman in Rwanda who had heard that President Paul Kagame was a man of purpose. And when this man heard
that President Paul Kagame was a man of purpose, he said, ''I have a book that I want you to read, it's called, The Purpose Driven Life.'' And President Kagame read that book and wrote a letter to Rick and said, ''I would love for you
to come and visit Rwanda and where we can explore
together some of the principles in this book as we are
rebuilding our nation.'' And so within a few months, Rick and I went to Rwanda
for the first time, met President and Mrs. Kagame, influential business leaders, well respected church leaders
and we instantly fell at home. And I would have to say
even more than that, we fell in love and there
were relationships that began and a partnership began and the peace plan launched in Rwanda. And here we are, 14 years later today on this particular day, remembering the tragedy of the
genocide against the Tutsi, honoring those that
were murdered and maimed and widowed and orphaned. And yet in that celebrating the resilience and the healing and the
hope and the new life that is happening on a
daily basis in Rwanda. And so it is a great honor for me today to introduce to you President Paul Kagame, His Excellency, Paul Kagame and Rick, who you get to hear in an
incredible conversation. Give them a warm Saddleback welcome. (applause) - Thank you. Thank you. So how are you? (laughter) Mr. President welcome. Glad you're here and
glad to have you back. He's been here several times, three or four times at Saddleback church. As Kay said, Saddleback
is observing Kwibuka25, observance of the 25th anniversary of the genocide of the Tutsi. And we stand in solidarity
with the nation of Rwanda that this never be forgotten, that it has to be remembered. Last night since you weren't here, I interviewed the Arch Bishop
of Rwanda, Laurent Bonder. He's here, right here. Stand up Bishop, Arch Bishop Bonder. (applause)
Glad you're here, thank you. And thank you so much. I see Mary Kimanzi down here. Mary is the director of
Purpose Driven in Rwanda. Stand up, Mary. (applause and cheering) And thank you. And the ambassador to the
United States from Rwanda, I see you here, please stand up. (applause)
Great. Thank you. (applause) And my old buddy Joe Ritchie, who is the first guy that introduced me to President Kagame. Stand up Joe. (applause) Now we've been friends almost 15 years. So I wanna show you some
photos on the screen here. You can look up here, Mr President. I'll look this way, you can look that way. Here we are, this is at the 25th anniversary
of Saddleback Church and the primary speaker,
President Paul Kagame at (mumbles) speaking
at the 25th anniversary at Angel Stadium, which was packed out. Then a few months later
when we went to Rwanda and here he's greeting
me at Amahoro stadium where I'm gonna speak there in Amahoro. Here he is telling me a great joke. (laughter) Okay and I've used it
on you several times. You're gonna see a lot
of pictures like this where we're kind of conferring together at different meetings. And here's another one, so he's given me advice
on my family right there and here I'm telling him a joke and he's kind of grinning and then we're just talking to each other in different meetings. Then this was... Oh, this was at the
inauguration of president Kagame where he had asked me to pray. I'm holding up my Rwanda passport. (laughter) Okay, so that I'm Rwandan. And then here was when we gave the award to President Kagame. He is a man of peace, our highest peace award,
which he received. And here we are praying together. And so we had a wonderful... We've had a long conversation
and commitment to each other. Saddleback is committed to
the nation of Rwanda longterm. I thought I'd give you a little
update before we began that, the peace plan began in
Rwanda at his invitation. It's now all over the world. We've sent over 26,000 Saddleback
members to 197 countries. But it all started in Rwanda and in Rwanda about 10%
of those 26,000 over that, nearly 3000, 2,783 Saddleback members have actually gone and served in Rwanda. So I'm gonna ask it all 20
of our campuses right now, if you have been to Rwanda, would you stand up right
now in all 20 campuses. (applause) Hey, look at this.
(applause) Great. That's great. (applause) God bless you. These people have launched over 400 different training initiatives, training nurses, working with police departments, working with farmers, working with judges, working with pastors. Over 4,558 pastors have been enrolled in the three year educational training
program of Purpose Driven. And we figured out that
we have bought over 6,800 plane tickets to Rwanda. (laughter) So some agency is really happy with us, I'm not sure who that is. Now, Mr President, in the past we've talked
about reconciliation a lot. But this time I want us
to talk about resilience. How do you bounce back from trauma? We're in a series that
I've been teaching on pain and on trauma. And there's no greater example than Rwanda having greater trauma and having bounced back from that. And so what I'd like to
do is I listened to your Kwibuka25 message and I saw in Rwanda some
principles of rebounding. And what I'd like to do is introduce each of these principles, maybe read a quote from you and then let you talk to
us about these principles. So if you have your notes on
the backside or the front side, we're talking about this first steps to recovering from trauma. And we can see these all
identified in the nation of Rwanda. Now, these are not the only steps, it's just what we have time for today. And each of these steps
take a lot of time. You have to be patient with yourself, the process is slow, recovery is not instant, it's not overnight, you can't rush through these. In fact, the more painful the trauma is probably the longer it takes
for you to recover from it. It's more important for you to go deep, to go deep in your recovery
than it is to go fast. So let me give you the first principle and I'm gonna read a
quote from the president and we'll talk about this. The first principle in
recovering from a trauma is you need to accept help
and support from others. Accept help and support from others. It's almost impossible to
recover from trauma by yourself. We're wired to need each other. We need each other to recover. You're not gonna get well on your own. First, You need somebody
who's gone through what you're going through. The Bible says this in Second
Corinthians chapter one, God comforts us in our troubles so that we can comfort others. Then when others are troubled, we can give them the same
comfort that God has given us. Now, what that verse implies is this, there are people out there
who've already been through what you're going through. There are people out there
who've already been through what you're going through. You need to seek them out, you need to get their help, you need to enlist their
wisdom and support. This is called following Jesus. Galatians 6:2, by helping each others
troubles and burdens, you're obeying the law of Christ. What is that? That's the law, love your
neighbor as yourself. Now you need other people in your life, you need a family. And maybe your family
died as in the genocide or maybe your family is unavailable, but you need a family, you need a spiritual family. At Saddleback church, we
have over 7,000 small groups that are families and if your physical
family isn't available, you need to create one. And the best example of this is Rwanda, where you created new families. And I want to read this quote
in your Kwibuka25 speech. You said, ''In 1994 there was no hope, only darkness. Today light radiates from this place. How did it happen? Rwanda became a family once again, the arms of our people intertwined to constitute the pillars of our nation. We hold each other up.'' Talk about that. - Well, thank you Rick for this invitation and the opportunity to be here talking to the wonderful audience and
members of Saddleback church and I thank you and Kay
for always being kind to us and welcoming and we appreciate that. Now, first of all, it's very difficult to
have had a tragic situation in our country. Million plus people have died, many others with wounds, all kinds of destruction. So here every individual, you will understand have
their own struggles, have their own problems to deal with. The starting point is to make
sure that these individuals don't feel they are alone or left alone. They must... An environment has to be created where somebody may start thinking
there's somebody to look up to, there is a friend, there is a neighbor, there's somebody somewhere
who may not only be having their problems of their own, but may have something to share and therefore in that
sharing and getting together, problems are addressed. And if you look at the
background of our history, if you look at our
history and the background of these programs, first, the country was divided. There was such ideology and
politics that played out to the extent you had
the section of population made to believe the others are different and not only different, they should hate each other. So, we found ways of saying no, this country has been a nation of people with a lot in common and less in terms of
differences in actual fact. So we identified... - Not as different as
everybody would think. - Absolutely. - Yeah, okay. - So we tried to identify those things that we can build on that people will believe after all we are a family indeed, we are same people, we may be different individuals
standing here and there but at the same time we
have a lot in common, we have a lot of common aspirations, we have a number of things. So we emphasize this unity, coming together and in the process realizing
formation of the family, the feeling at least of a family. And once we achieved
this then those victims, the people who were affected, some were affected more than others, but definitely these survivors
were affected to the extreme. So we created conditions to make them feel that they are not alone. They've lost their family members, they've lost everything but they are not alone. There are others who are
want to identify with them, who want to be with them, who want to feel together
their pain with them and around that. That's when we found we fall. - So building that sense of family was the the starting point for recovery. - It was a starting point. The second point was
also to make sure that the truth about what
happened keeps coming up and the truth is liberating in a sense. When people get to understand, of course there is a lot
of anger that goes on, there is a lot of fear, follows with that kind of situation. But you want to bring
out the truth as well and around the truth, you will find levels of accountability. And as long as there is that
process of accountability based on the truth, the other person who is
so adversely affected starts feeling at least
that there is a way and the other story
about building a family starts also taking root, is a process of forming
unity and the family then there is a process of the truth and there is a process of... - So, the family has to
be built not on lies, it's gotta be built on the truth? - There's no question about it. - Let me read you, I thought this was really eloquent. He said, ''Our bodies and our minds bear amputations and scars, but none of us is alone.'' That's a powerful statement, after all of the genocide. Our bodies and minds bear
amputations and scars, but none of us is alone. Together we've woven the
tattered threads of unity into a new tapestry. Sisters had to become mothers, neighbors had to become uncles, strangers became friends. We created new bonds of
solidarity to console and to renew each other, Rwanda is a family. That's why we exist despite
all we've gone through. That's powerful. That's eloquent. Mr. President. Now you went from that
into this second principle talking about truth. I want you to write this down. I hope you heard what he just said. The second key to recovery
is to focus on what's true, not what you feel. Focus on what's true, not what you feel. When you're traumatized, two things can happen to your emotions. First your emotions can get disconnected and second, your emotions
can get distorted. Either one of these things can happen. When you've gone through
a real trauma of any kind, first, when emotional pain is unbearable, we disconnect from our emotions and you actually stop feeling anything. You're numb, you're kind of dead inside, you're so painful. It just shuts down. You don't feel anything, you kinda insulate and you isolate. And when you've gone through trauma, one of the problems is you don't feel anything
anymore for awhile. A number of people, they disconnect and you kind of stuff it in a box and it has to gently be reawakened. But also when you go through trauma, often our emotions get distorted
and we start believing lies or we believe things that are
true that aren't really true. Let me read you this first, second Corinthians chapter one, Paul of course went through
many many traumas in life, shipwrecks and beatings and stonings and all kinds of things. Second Corinthians 1:8-9, Paul says, we were crushed and
completely overwhelmed, that's called trauma, and we thought, notice he says we thought we'd never live through it. We expected to die. Many people I'm sure felt
that way in the genocide. We thought we'd never live through it and we expected to die. That's what you're feeling in trauma, but as a result, he said, we learned not to trust in our
own feelings and ourselves, but to trust in God. Paul says, we thought we were gonna die. His feelings were wrong, he didn't die. Now let me just say this before I ask the president a question. Sometimes victims actually in trauma end up blaming themselves and they start saying things like, well, it was my fault or I deserve this or I'm a bad person and
that's why this happened to me or I'm no good or there's something really
really wrong with me. Those are all lies. They're not the truth. They're lies. But when you're in trauma, sometimes the victim actually
starts blaming themselves. The antidote is what
Jesus said in John 8:32, the truth sets you free. And so you need to listen to
the truth, not your feelings. You need God's view of you. And you may, when you've
gone through trauma, need to change the way
you talk to yourself. I want you to write this down. I want you to write
these three things down. And then Mr. President,
we're gonna talk about this. The trauma is not my fault. We're talking about the kind of trauma that is perpetrated against
you by someone evil. The trauma is not my fault, the trauma... Number two, the trauma is not my identity and number three, the
trauma is not my future. The trauma is not my fault, it's not my identity, not my future. Now, Mr. President, you had to lead an entire
nation that was traumatized. Literally everybody in the country, there was no non traumatized person. So how do you lead a
traumatized nation to say, well, it's not my fault, it's not my future, it's not my identity? What would you say about that? How would you... How did you do that? How did you lead an
entire traumatized nation? - We started by talking about this quest for unity to habits, where we created a feeling of a family, we talked just about the truth. So that process leads to
creating certain conditions that will enable people to think beyond their feelings and what has happened to them. But at the same time, we are also aware that you
can't dictate feelings, you can't dictate to someone
how they should feel. - Can't command a feeling. - You can't do that. So the best you can do is to
create that environment where somebody can start seeing things happen. You want to do things, you want to be there, you want to communicate and then in the end the truth starts unfolding to someone that after all it is not there, they shouldn't be blaming themselves, it's not their fault. So the truth will keep
bringing that up and with everything that
happens that can be done, you don't just communicate, you do things. When we have been out there helping out as much as we can and it is like a family trying to help, when the country is investing and is trying to do certain
things for education, for health, for shelter, for all kinds of things. And then bringing in the very people who have been traumatized. And actually also showing them that, no, they are not helpless, it's... - They're not helpless. - Yes, it's not hopeless
situation for them that they can even pick themselves up together with other
members of this family, do something that takes everyone along even with these very difficult conditions. So you just have to have this
presence of people saying, we feel with you, we want to be with you, we want to act together and be able to create a better future. So that's what we kept trying, all kinds of things that could
be tried have been tried and still communicating to the person who has suffered the victim, that no, all is not lost. They have lost a lot but all is not lost. They still can pick
themselves up together with the family that we have
tried to build in the country and create a better future than the life we lived in the past. - I'm gonna read you this quote. You said, ''Genocide hibernates in denial, both before and after the killing, there's a long chain of events
that are interconnected. That's why revisionism,
which is denying the truth.'' - Yes. - ''Denying the truth
that it really happened is not merely demeaning, it's profoundly dangerous. What happened here must
never happen again. Our country cannot afford
to live by twists of fate and revisionism. We must never forget the truth. We must be deliberate and
decisively guided by humility.'' - Yes. - Alright, let's go to the third, key to recovery. And it is this, and again, you can see this in Rwanda. Waste no energy on revenge, learn to forgive. Waste no energy on
revenge, learn to forgive. Trauma depletes your energy. Any kind of trauma just
drains you of your energy. You're gonna need energy to recover, to rebound, to have resilience. You can't afford to waste
your energy on anything else, so that for your own sake, you need to not focus on the revenge cause you're gonna need that
energy to recover yourself. If you waste your energy on
resentment or retaliation or revenge, then you don't
have that energy for yourself. You've got to decide, do I wanna be bitter or do I wanna be better? Where am I going to put the energy? Anytime you hold onto hurt, you actually are allowing that person to continue to hurt you even
though it's already happened. When you hold onto hurt, you just keep on letting them hurt you over and over and over. Now I know what somebody's
saying, he's saying, well, what about justice? Justice is important and the Bible says that's the
role of God and government. It's not your role, it's not my role to be a vigilante, it's not my role to go out there and seek revenge and retaliation. The Bible says, it's God's
role to administer justice and he has ordained government
to administer justice. If you wanna read that, it's Romans 13, whole chapter of the Bible about God telling governments
are to enforce the laws. Let me read you two verses. Romans 12:19, God says, don't insist on getting even, that's not for you to do. I'll do the judging and
I'll take care of it. Now there's big difference between justice and personal retaliation,
but he's saying, God says, judging and justice are my job and I've ordained the government to do it. Look at the next verse. Proverbs 16:12, good leaders do not tolerate evil because justice is what
makes a government strong. So you say, well, okay, so what do I do with all
my negative emotions, all my pent up anger? If I'm not gonna try
to seek revenge myself, what do I do with those pent up emotions? Next verse, Lamentations
chapter 2:19 says this, get up and pray for help
all through the night. It's usually at night that those
emotions come in strongest. Get up and pray for help
all through the night. Pour out your feelings to the Lord as you would pour out
a water out of a jug. What a beautiful verse. Pour out all your frustrations, God can handle that. Pour out your anger, your bitterness. You could tell God that, God can handle that and you pour it out to him. Now, you notice I said, learn to forgive cause forgiveness has to be learned. Forgiveness is not natural, forgiveness is not easy, forgiveness is not fast and
when you're traumatized, it makes it even harder. And sometimes well meaning people have actually hurt victims of trauma by pushing them to forgive faster than they really should. They have to work through
the stages of grief. Now, here's what the
president said recently and I don't wanna ask you about this. ''There's no way to fully
comprehend the loneliness and the anger of genocide survivors and yet time and time again, we've asked them to make
the sacrifices necessary to give our nation new life. Someone once asked me why
we keep burdening survivors with the responsibility for our healing, it was a painful question, but I realized that
the answer was obvious, survivors are the only ones
there's something left to give and what they have to give
is their forgiveness.'' That is so eloquent, that's just eloquent. How have you led a
traumatized nation to do this? - It's a very difficult but I think as again in this speech you were saying, the truth is stubborn and we must be very stubborn to cope with the situation as well. So we keep trying and
we keep communicating, we keep questioning, we keep finding answers and for forgiveness you don't
expect everyone to forgive. And I think people will understand if you people decide not to forgive, you will understand. Much as we keep asking people to forgive, but forgiveness may come as a result first of, as a result of deep understanding based on many things we talked earlier and trust and forgiveness in a way related. Once you have created trust, which will depend on what
you've come out to do that will convince many people that may be the situation... First of all, they
understand the situation, the situation they are
having to deal with, they understand it. Then from action carried out by leaders, by government, by... People will start reading
from these actions that may be the situation is different from what they faced before. And, forgiveness also may come as a result of realizing that, well, first we have to live the future, we have to have better life coming for us. How do we get there? Then they may... You don't forget that you've lost so much, you keep that in mind, but the people in Rwanda have
found it possible to forgive so that they create a better future and so that we stop losing even
the little we remained with. - Are you hearing what he's saying? That forgiveness, we don't forgive for
the other people's sake, we forgive for our own sake because first we don't
wanna hold on to the pain, it keeps hurting us. And second, we're gonna need
the forgiveness ourselves and third, we want a better future. So you don't say, well, they
don't deserve the forgiveness. Well of course they don't. But you don't either
for the things that... For your forgiveness. But you forgive not
because they deserve it, cause they don't, but you forgive because
you want the better future and you don't wanna hold on to the pain. That's good, that's profound. - And you really can't go to those people who were responsible for
the evil that happened and ask from them anything. Or you can... In fact what you are expected to be doing is to be
holding them accountable. I'm sure the immediate thing
that comes to people's minds, especially in my country, is that those people
should have gone to jail or should have even been hanged. So, you don't ask them anything, that's why we turn to the survivors, the victims and say, the situation is as we all know it or is like this. There is a way out of this. It doesn't explain all
of the pain we carry or provide sufficient relief to that, but everyone needs to live into the future. So how do we do that without one holding accountable to an
extent the people responsible, but on the other bringing
everyone along so that... And that can only be
facilitated by the forgiveness of the people who have suffered most. What...
- Those who suffered the most? - Yes. Who have really been bearing the brunt of what has happened in the country. - You know almost 15 years ago, I asked the president this question. I said, so what is it as a leader, why do you not feel the need to retaliate? He said something very profound. He said, ''Leadership absorbs the pain.'' I wish every leader in the world
could learn that principle. Leadership absorbs the pain. (applause) In other words, if you hit me and I hit you back and then you poke out my
eye and I poke at your eye and we both end up blind, at some point somebody takes
the last shot and you go, okay, fine, you got the last shot. I'm not gonna retaliate because we're gonna stop this right here cause we're actually more in the future. - Or you retaliate until when? - Yeah, yeah, exactly. When he wins because you've
made you a mean person. - Yeah, it keeps going and
that becomes the life you live. You live the life...
- Cause you've perpetuated. - Yes, absolutely. - Alright, let's go to the
fourth principle of recovery. And this has to do with hope. You've gotta have hope. Hope and trust God for
the strength to recover, hope and trust God for
the strength to recover. You can't move forward without hope. You can't move forward without faith. You have to have faith in God, faith in yourself, you have to have faith in others, you have to faith that you can move, that you're not paralyzed, that you're not helpless, you're not hopeless. You need hope and you need faith. Jeremiah 29:11, God says, the plans I have for you are plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. God has plans. God's plans have hope and have a future. God is a God of recovery, he is a God of restoration. this week I went through the whole Bible and I found 32 times where
God says, I will restore you. 32 times. God is a God of restoration and there's story after story after story of a nation falling particularly Israel and then God restoring
and a nation falling and God restoring downfall. If you've had any trauma, particularly the kind
we're talking about today were perpetrated by an individual, by evil against you, I recommend this next verse for you. Job 11:13-19, gives a lot of good advice. It says this, give your whole heart to God and hold out your hands
for him to help you. Then you will lift your
face without shame. God doesn't want you living in shame. You will lift your face without shame, you will stand firm without fear. God doesn't want you living in fear. Then all your troubles
will fade from your memory like water under a bridge. Your life will be brighter
than the sunshine at noon and life's darkest hour
will shine like the dawn. You will live secure and full of hope. God will protect you and give you rest and you won't be afraid of your enemies. In fact, many people
will ask you for help. If ever I read a verse that describes what Rwanda
is going through right now, it's that passage right there. That all those things
that you get rid of fear. Rwanda has been rated the
safest country in Africa. And yeah, go ahead.
(applause) You can clap for that.
(applause) He said, your life will be brighter. Every time I go to gala gets brighter and brighter and brighter, there's more lighting, more electricity through the whole nation. He says, you'll be
secure and full of hope, God will protect you and give you rest. You're not afraid of your enemies. In fact, many people
will ask you for help. I'll tell you this personally, seven other African presidents
have called me and said, when can we get what's going on in Rwanda? (laughter) I said, what do you mean? I said, well, you know this
Rwanda model peace plan that was created there and I said, well, I'm happy
that you're interested in and I said, we're just one church, we can't go to every nation
all the time like that. I mean, we can't send 3,000
people to every nation. But I said, here's what I can do, I can send the Rwandans
cause they're trained. And that's what we've been doing. (applause) And the peace plan was started in Rwanda, it was birthed in Rwanda at the
invitation of the president. Let me just read you the
countries where it's now going on with their own national
boards and committees. It started in Rwanda, then Malawi, Zambia, Ghana, Benin, Togo, Cote d'Ivoire, Botswana, Tanzania, Kenya, Mauritius, Seychelle islands, Ethiopia, Cameroon, Gabon, Burundi, Liberia, Uganda, Sierra Leone. Starting this year 2019, South Sudan, Zimbabwe, Madagascar, Egypt, Mozambique, Guinea Bissau, Angola, Somalia, Lesotho, The Gambia, Senegal, Equatorial Guinea, Cape Verde, Saotome, Republic of Congo and Niger. This all started in Rwanda. (applause and cheering) That is the tribute and
testimony to the people, the character and the churches of Rwanda. Let me read this quote from the president. ''Our nation has turned a corner. Fear and anger have been replaced
by the energy and purpose that drives us.'' Ooh, purpose drive, I like that.
(laughter) The purpose that drives us, sounds like purpose driven to me. The purpose that drives us forward. ''In the end, the only conclusion to
draw from Rwanda stories, profound hope, hope for our world. No community is beyond repair and the dignity of people is
never fully extinguished.'' This is the president speaking. ''25 years later here we are, all of us wounded and heartbroken
yes, but unvanquished. Our prayer is for no other
people to ever endure the same tribulation we did, especially our brothers
and sisters in Africa. At a memorial event some years ago, a young girl brought us
all the tears with a poem. She said there's a saying
in Kinyarwanda that God's spins the day elsewhere, but returns every night
to sleep in Rwanda. Then she asked the question, so where was God on those
dark nights of genocide? Well, looking at Rwanda today it is clear that God has come back
home to Rwanda to stay.'' Amen. (applause)
Amen. Years ago you told me, I realized pretty quickly that the nation could recover quicker if we involve the churches. - Yes. - How's that worked out for you? (laughter) - It has worked out very well. (laughter) I have to thank you Pastor Rick that with Saddleback church and when you agreed to engage with us in our country. It was in recognition of what we knew that would contribute and it did. But a little bit of history to that is, church in Rwanda became part of the problems
we faced in history. In fact church and
colonialism were intertwined and one siding the other for many decades. And what we saw in 1994, churches became killing sites as well and religious leaders got involved directly. But at the same time, we also understand the essence and the far reach of faith sector, churches connect with people. They have followership, thousands of our citizens. So, we thought reforming in a sense, if I may use the word, this faith sector and sort of assist in
returning that to it's known... - What it should be doing. - And expected roles. What it should we be doing. Then we had a bigger
chance of actually reaching all our citizens and also helping them to recover from the trauma which we talked about as well as assist in many other ways. And this is what has happened. We've seen... And I wanted to thank you and
the entire Saddleback church, the way they have impacted
our people through... And it wasn't just preaching, it wasn't just preaching in church. It was also preaching on the aspects that we retransform our lives. - Lifestyle. - And lifestyles and many
things in the country. Talks about health, about business, about... The very things that actually add up to what is required for lives to change and transform us or wanted to happen. So many things have happened since we got together and since Saddleback church has been in Rwanda and working with other denominations, we have seen a tremendous change. It's part of the progress, very significant, part of progress has
been achieved of that. - It's been our honor and
your wisdom to invite us. Those of you who are new to Saddleback need to understand that the
peace plan is very different. We're not like NGOs, we don't do stuff for people. All we do is training. In the great commission
that Jesus gave, he said, go into all the world
and teach them to do, teach them to do it. Then he said, do it for them. We don't do anything for Rwanda, all we do is teach Rwandans
how to do it for themselves. And so our nurses teach nurses and our doctors teach doctors and our pastors teach pastors and our judges teach judges and farmers teach farmers and landscapers teach landscapers and managers and businessmen
teach businessmen. We don't do stuff for Rwanda, they're very capable
on their own to do it. They're self reliant, they don't need paternalism, they don't need subsidies, they don't need money thrown at them. What they just need is opportunity and opportunity often
is trade, not aid, okay? And it is giving people
a hand up, not a handout. So we don't believe in dependency. For instance, we don't create orphanages. When President Kagame told me we have a problem with orphans because in the genocide it
left almost a million orphans and I told him, I said, ''Well, we'll be glad to
help with the orphan problem. We just don't believe in orphanages because that word's not in the Bible and it's a western idea and there are 135 million
orphans in the world. You couldn't build enough orphanages and when you take a kid off his land, if his mom and dad have died, you're guaranteeing permanent poverty.'' So we said, we're actually
gonna come and help shut the orphanages down. We believe kids belong in families. And so we began a program
through the churches of adoption. Adoption is the answer, not orphanages. Here at Saddleback Church, we made a commitment to
adopt a thousand orphans, 500 in the US and 500 outside the US. We're over 600 families have
adopted here in this church and so yeah, you can clap for that. (applause) So, what we've done in Rwanda has not been anything we do for them. We don't do anything for them. We go and stand alongside them and say, let us help train you in some
of the things we're learning and we could gather partner in that way and that way now they're going out and training other nations. And so what we passed on to them, now they're passing on to others and that is the multiplication factor and you should be proud of that. And we're all proud of the
fact that the president opened the door for us to
work with the churches there. And thank you very much. - Thank you. (applause) - We have... I have a present and it's
a significant present. What do you give a president? (laughter) But there is a Japanese
form of ancient artwork called Kintsugi and Kintsugi is the art form
of mending broken pottery with gold. And this process gives
new life to a damaged or aging ceramic by celebrating
their frailty in history. In other words, instead of seeing the
brokenness as a bad thing, it becomes part of the beauty. And in Kintsugi, you put the pieces back together and you put it together
with gold and as a result, the imperfections are actually celebrated because it creates greater beauty. And so we have here for you Mr. President, a vase of Kintsugi that's
been rebuilt with gold and... (applause) This represents what
God has done in Rwanda. He took all these pieces and he put them all
back together with gold, making the vase far more beautiful than it was in the first place and we congratulate you
and we celebrate you. (applause) We love you. (applause) Thank you so much. (applause) - Thanks for checking out
this message on YouTube. My name is Jay and I'm
Saddleback's online pastor. I wanna invite you to take your next step by checking out our online community or help get you connected to
a local Saddleback campus. Three things we have
to offer you right now. First, learn more about
belonging to a church family by taking class 101. Second, don't live life alone and get into community with others by joining an online small group or a local home group in your area. Third, join our Facebook
group to be more engaged with our online community
throughout the week. Take your next step and learn
where our local campuses near you by visiting saddleback.com/online or email online@saddleback.com. Hope to hear from you soon.
