- [Narrator] Legal Eagle
is coming in loud and clear thanks to Ting Mobile. (upbeat music) - What about human rights law? - Oh no. ♪ No money, no, no money ♪ - Oh no! - Environmental law? ♪ No money, even less money ♪ - Immigration law? ♪ No money, plus it's a bummer ♪ (laughs) - That hurts my heart
because it's so true. (playful music) Hey legal eagles, it's time
to think like a lawyer. Today we are covering the long-requested Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, and
specifically a music video that shows up in season four called "Don't Be a Lawyer." ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ - I remember really liking
Crazy Ex-Girlfriend, I think I saw a couple of
the episodes from season one. They clearly did their research about what it's like to be an attorney, and the musical numbers
were really good too. If memory serves, I think
this is about a woman who is a partner in a Boston law firm or she's just about to become partner and she decides to give that up, follow an ex-boyfriend or
someone she wanted to be her boyfriend out to California, but not any place in California, specifically to Riverside, California, or to some other place
in the Inland Empire, which I've actually practiced there, and it's not my favorite
place in the world. Come at me, West Covina. Oh boy, I'm gonna get
some hate for that one. As always, be sure to comment
in the form of an objection which I will either sustain or overrule, and stick around until
the end of the video where I give Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
"Don't Be a Lawyer" a grade for legal realism. So without further ado, let's
dig in to Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. - I'm majoring in pre-law myself. - Oh no, no, no, bad idea, trust me. Being a lawyer is the worst. - (chuckles) Rude. - Sit back and let me
tell you my tale of woe. (upbeat music) ♪ 20 years old, pretty smart kid ♪ ♪ Didn't know what I wanted to do ♪ ♪ So I took the LSAT ♪ ♪ And then just like that ♪ ♪ Got accepted at Glendale U ♪ - Okay, right off the bat,
this is definitely accurate to a lot of people that
want to go to law school. First of all, the test that you take to get into law school is called the LSAT, you probably know that,
but more importantly, there's so many people who aren't sure what they want to do for a living, and so they delay going
into the real world by taking the LSAT and
going to law school, and invariably, these
are the people that have the worst experiences in law school, because law school is a
whole bucket of stress, and if you aren't sure, if
you aren't absolutely positive you want to be a lawyer,
don't go to law school, it's not worth it. All of the advantages of
law school can be achieved in other places for a lot less money under a lot less stress. Frankly, you're probably
better off just getting a loan for $300,000 and then lighting it on fire and posting it to Instagram, because that's pretty
much what you're doing if you're going to law school and you're not really sure
you want to be a lawyer. ♪ Everyone said it was a real safe bet ♪ ♪ A prestigious and lucrative vocation ♪ ♪ So I set out on a journey ♪ ♪ To become an attorney ♪ ♪ Without a moment's hesitation ♪ - Yeah okay, so this is another
big myth about law school. People think that it's prestigious and that you're guaranteed
to get a good job. The thing is that the
really well-paying jobs out of law school really are only achieved by maybe the top 10% of law graduates, and if you go to a really good law school, like say Harvard or Yale or something, maybe the top 50% of those graduates get the really prestigious
and well-paying jobs. If you're going to a lower-ranked school, the chances are less that
you'll get those jobs, and you might be making just
barely over the median salary. The median salary for law graduates is about $70,000, which granted, is a lot more than the
median salary in the US, which is about $55,000, but still, it costs you hundreds of
thousands of dollars to get that, and that doesn't go very
far if you're living in a major city like
New York or Los Angeles. ♪ But here's some free advice I'm giving ♪ - Not legal advice. ♪ When it comes to deciding
what to do for a living ♪ ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪
(laughs) - So look, like I said, if you aren't sure that
you want to be a lawyer, you should definitely not be a lawyer, and even if you are sure
that you want to be a lawyer, sometimes it's not the
best decision you can make, and frankly, there are
so many people that say "oh, I'm really good at arguing," or "I'm really good on my feet, "so therefore I should be an attorney." Lawyers in real life actually don't do that kind of
stuff all that often. Certainly if you're a trial lawyer, you'll probably be in court more often than transactional
attorneys, but even then, almost all of what attorneys do is legal research and legal writing. You are stuck in a cubicle
or an office and you're just writing in front of a
computer screen all day. So it's definitely not as glamorous as it's often made out to be. ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ ♪ Don't do it, quickest
way to ruin your life ♪ ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ ♪ Not worth it, I'll
leave you dead inside ♪ - Ah, these guys have some
pretty interesting suits, if only there was some
sort of custom suit-maker that could make really nice
custom slim-fit suits for them instead of these weird pink and burgundy things that they're wearing. Indochino. ♪ The job is inherently crappy ♪ ♪ That's why you've never
met a lawyer who's happy ♪ ♪ It's a guaranteed soul destroyer ♪ ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ - Oh wait a minute, so
the blackboard here, this is, it's a Bar exam. All of these students
are taking the Bar exam. You can tell because in the
bottom right hand corner, it mentions the MBE. The MBE is the Multistate Bar Exam, it's sort of universal Bar exam, at least for the multiple
choice questions. Every state has a different Bar exam, so no lawyer can practice
in every single state, you'd have to take every
single state's Bar exam, but the MBE allows states to sort of reuse multiple choice questions
in a single year, and funny story, when I
was taking the Bar exam, on the first day, and this, remember, was in Los Angeles, California, there was an earthquake during
the first session of the exam and you could tell who was from California and who wasn't from California because the ones who
were not from California were hiding under their desk, and then the Californians just went on continuing with their test while the out-of-state folks
were cowering for their lives. That's why I passed. (upbeat hip-hop music) Okay, despite what you may
want, I am absolutely not even going to try to
attempt to learn this dance. I will say though that
in doing some research for this video, I did see
that another legal YouTuber had both covered this
video and impressively, learned this dance. ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ ♪ Don't do it, the quickest
way to ruin your life ♪ - Her name is Even Cornwell, she is a law student from
the UK, though I think now she's probably an actual
practicing attorney. I'll put a link to her
video in the description, definitely check her out and
give her some subscribers, and by the way, I was
checking my analytics, and only 30% of the people
that watch my videos are actually subscribed to my channel, so please, seriously,
subscribe, what are you doing? ♪ Law school debt, daily regret ♪ ♪ Is that what you dreamed of as a kid ♪ ♪ Or did you hope one day
that you'd find a way ♪ ♪ To spend four years workin' on a ♪ ♪ Pharmaceutical company's
merger with another ♪ ♪ Pharmaceutical company ♪
(laughing) - (groans) Oh, that's so true. Well, it's partially true, so like I said, when you're a young attorney, you get staffed on these giant cases, especially if you go into
big law, which is what I did. The only companies and
individuals that can afford these ridiculous rates of like
a thousand dollars an hour are huge companies, Fortune 500 companies, and so odds are you're gonna get staffed on something like a
pharmaceutical company's merger with another pharmaceutical company. Though in fairness, it's really
only transactional attorneys that are going to be stuck
on something like that. If you're a litigator,
odds are you'll get stuck on something like the
pharmaceutical company's bankruptcy pan or the
pharmaceutical company's law suit against another
pharmaceutical company for a possible infringement
of some pharmaceutical patent. And generally speaking,
there are two main types of attorneys, there are
the transactional attorneys that are gonna work on the
contracts and the business plans and mergers and acquisitions, and then there are the
people that you call in when something goes wrong to litigate, the litigators and trial lawyers, the let's call them real lawyers. No, I don't want you to think that transactional attorneys
aren't real lawyers, I mean, they're not real lawyers, but I definitely don't
want you to think that. Oh boy, I am gonna get some
very well-worded angry emails from a bunch of transactional attorneys. But what are they gonna do, sue me? (scoffs) They can't. ♪ Your only expertise is runnin' up fees ♪ ♪ Speakin' legalese like (bleep) ♪ (laughs) - Big myth, actually we
try to avoid using legalese because it's really not persuasive. Whether it's to a layperson
like a member of a jury of the judge, we try to avoid any legalese if we can possibly avoid it, so it's really mainly the law students that use legalese in
completely improper situations. ♪ But it's not too late
to avoid this fate ♪ ♪ Find any other job to pick ♪ ♪ Sure, your parents might
think you're a failure ♪ ♪ But no one's ever said ♪ ♪ "First let's kill all the tailors" ♪ - Why would anyone want to kill someone that makes such affordable,
high-quality custom-made suits? Indochino. And this kind of reminds
me of a famous lawyer joke where a person is talking to the devil, the they say "For my
first wish, I wish that "all the lawyers were dead or disappeared" and the devil grants it and
all the lawyers are gone, and then they make a second wish, and the devil reneges on the agreement, and he says "what are
you gonna do, sue me? "All the lawyers are gone!" I know you all wish we would disappear, but it's in everyone's best
interest if we don't, I'm sorry. ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ ♪ I'm serious, it really, really sucks ♪ ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ ♪ No one you work with
looks like Ally McBeal ♪ (laughing) - Oh man, I don't know if you guys are familiar with Ally McBeal. I definitely grew up watching Ally McBeal, and god, I love it. That, obviously I loved Law
& Order, probably the best, and Law & Order is one of the reasons that I became a lawyer, it
was amazing, but frankly, Ally McBeal made it seem
like a whole lot more fun. ♪ I can't stop this feeling ♪ - I should probably do
a real lawyer reacts to Ally McBeal at some point. Let me know if I should do that. ♪ There are so many other professions ♪ ♪ That don't turn you into Jeff Sessions ♪ (laughs) - Look, Jeff Sessions is barely a lawyer. Don't lump him into everyone else that happens to practice
in the legal field. We may not look like Ally McBeal, but we also don't sell our souls the same way that Jeff Sessions did. ♪ Just say no to the lawyer employer, no ♪ ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ - What about human rights law? - Oh no. ♪ No money, no, no money ♪ - Oh no! - Environmental law? ♪ No money, even less money ♪
(laughing) - Immigration law? ♪ No money, plus it's a bummer ♪ (groans) - That hurts my heart
because it's so true. There are so many people
that want to go into these different variations
of public interest law, and they really don't pay very well. Also I would lump into that,
being a public defender, which look, I am not the kind of person that rallies behind district attorneys, I think it is totally proper and good that public defenders are
out there providing a defense to the indigent, but there's so many forms of legal profession that are worthwhile and they're good for the country and they're good for the soul, but they really don't pay very much, and things like environmental
law and immigration law, yeah, they definitely
fall into that category. You know what really gets it
right is How I Met Your Mother. Marshall is a law student in that and he eventually becomes
an environmental lawyer. He leaves big law and takes a salary cut of like 100% or like 90%
of what his salary is to go into this environmental law, and that's, that's
really, really accurate. (upbeat music)
- Okay but, what if one day you make
it to the Supreme Court? ♪ It'd be great to be
on the Supreme Court ♪ ♪ But you'll never be
on the Supreme Court ♪ (laughing) ♪ There's truly no chance
of that happening ♪ - That's so true, I mean, think about it, there are nine justices
on the Supreme Court and there are literally
hundreds of thousands of attorneys in the US alone, not to mention hundreds of
thousands of law students, tens of thousands of law
professors out there. The chances of getting
one of the nine spots on the Supreme Court are basically zero. Plus, you need to be effectively
personal friends with the president or potentially
the Senate Majority Leader. So yeah, you're not getting
on the Supreme Court. Also, that would be a terrible job. I just don't understand why
people would want to do it. Maybe if they are power hungry I guess, but man, doesn't seem worth it to me. (upbeat music) - The preceding song in now way reflects the views of CBS and the CW network. Ah screw it. (yells) - (laughing) Oh no. I had some very interesting interactions with the lawyers from CBS. That's uh, that's a story for another day, but let's just say I'm not super sad that that just happened
to that CBS lawyer. (upbeat music)
(body thuds) - See? ♪ Don't be a lawyer ♪ - Oh my god. Oh it's so good, it's so good. (playful music) So with that being said, let's give Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
a grade for legal realism. (gavel bangs) On the one hand, you have
some hilarious insights into the crap that new
attorneys have to deal with, the drudgery, sometimes the lack of pay, sometimes not getting
the job that you want. There's a lot of really terrible
outcomes for a large swath of the people that are out
there that become lawyers. On the other hand, if you're like me and you were watching Law & Order for fun when you were 10 years old and
convinced your parents that it was educational TV because
you wanted to be a lawyer, then law school is probably right for you, and being a lawyer is
probably right for you. I have never regretted the time
that I've spent practicing. I've been practicing
for over 12 years now, and most of it has been wonderful. Once you get past the drudgery of being a first or second or third year attorney, it gets better after that. So you know, you can
push all the grunt work onto those other poor new
first year attorneys out there, and I suspect it's the same
if you're a doctor as well. The first years are terrible
and then it gets better over time and the pay
gets better over time. So all in all, I give Crazy Ex-Girlfriend "Don't Be A Lawyer" an A minus. It's a great song and a hilarious critique of the legal profession. Now if you decide that you
want to go to law school, you'll definitely need to save some money, and the first place that you can start is on your cell phone bill. You can save a ton of
money with Ting Mobile, and bonus, if you do go to law school, Ting Mobile will help
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pharmaceutical companies with the merger with a
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will get a $25 service credit by going to LegalEagle.Ting.com or using the link in the description, and that $25 credit could
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month no strings attached. Again, all you have to
do is click on the link in the description or go
to LegalEagle.Ting.com and get a $25 service credit
for whatever server you choose. Plus, clicking on the link
really helps out this channel. So do you agree with my grade? Leave your objections in the comments and check out this playlist over here with all of my other real lawyer reactions like South Park and How
to Get Away With Murder, so click on the playlist
and I'll see you in court.
I've seen a few of his videos before and this one definitely made me laugh.
Loved this, and it made me laugh lots! Thank you for sharing :)
You beat me to it! This came up on YouTube and my first thought was "I must share to the community!"
I think CXG is one of the few things he gave an A to. The only other thing I have seen him given an A to was the Social Network and that movie was a masterpiece that was robbed. How it didn't win best movie and best director is beyond me. Thankfully it won best screenplay and music.
My dad who was a criminal defense attorney passed away around 11 years ago and I’ve often wished he could have heard this song. He would have loved it. At least he got to see Richard gere’s version of razzle dazzle from Chicago.