- Yeah, I'm cutting him, I'm
cutting, I'm cutting him. Okay, okay, okay, no! (upbeat music)
(monitor beeps) (logo sizzles) Hey guys, welcome to another episode of the Wednesday Checkup. I'm wearing scrubs. But that's because I was
reading your comments and I see the same two
words over and over again. Surgeon Simulator. But wait, he's family medicine. Does he even perform surgery? (pen clacks) Be it known that Mikhail Varshavski has a medicine and surgical license in the state of New York. So, basically, what it is that I'm saying, I think I'm gonna crush this game. I also have my scalpel here. Bee, whoop! It's been one of those days and I'm angry. Bam. That wasn't as dramatic as I hoped. Diazepam? My man's getting high on benzos. Okay, we got a heart transplant here. Hello sir, my name is Dr. Varshavski. It's a pleasure to meet you. I'm gonna give you a nice little poke just to make sure you're not awake. Hello sir, hello? What have we got, 22 seconds,
you have 5.5 liters of blood, your rhythm looks awful 'cause
that's not a real rhythm. I am going to go down and grab this. Oh, it did not grab. Get outta here. All right, now we have the surgical field and I have to do a heart transplant. Is there a bone saw? Is there a bone saw in the house? There you go. Whoop. What's going on here? Yeah, I'm cutting him, I'm
cutting, I'm cutting him. Okay, okay, okay, oh no, no, no, go, no! Sir, I am sorry, please do
not sue the hospital for this. Time to knock these ribs down. Why is he losing so much blood? Let me get the old school bone saw. Okay, the hand goes up. This is a weird way to do it. Let's cut some bone. No, come on, this is
the right way to do it. Argh, break those ribs. Why is my hand covered in blood? Chop, chop, no, no, no, I don't need to chop his lungs. This is the most frustrating
thing I've ever played, and I play Overwatch. It's hammer time, 'cause our
patient has only 800mls left. He's basically dead. No. Yeah, cut those ribs, cut those ribs. (hands slap) I swear, real life is easier than this. Brutal murder achieved in a mere seven minutes and 32 seconds. I feel like I need to
give this a second try. Hello sir, my name is Dr. Mike Varshavski. Okay, I know what we have to do. We're gonna raise it up first, we're gonna angle it, and then go in. Eh, there you go. Okay, no we don't want to cut lung. Bap, bap, bap, bap. Whoop. That looked like I was cutting the liver. I am sorry, sir. By the way, there's so many
more ribs in the human body than what's shown here. Looks like there's like four ribs. Okay, okay, let's get this
breastbone outta here. Let's take out this lung. What is it stuck on? Yeah, get that lung outta here. Eh. Okay, wait, my guy's dying, sorry. I promise we don't have this
much fun in the operating room. No, it's not what I needed. My finger's stuck. Okay. What is happening? This is not realistic at all and my surgical view is obstructed, but I need to cut these
ribs out, so, yeah. Oh no, my patient has only
two liters of blood left. Oh no, wiggle it free. (sighs) And why did I kill my patient
even faster this time? All right, I got this. If I got through med school, I should be able to get through this. Why is there a bottle
of soda on the field? We're gonna tilt his hand
and pick up the sternum. If this was real life I
would've lost my medical license like 20 times over again, okay. Sir, I'm not even gonna say
hi to you 'cause I'm a surgeon and we don't say hello to our patients. I'm just kidding, I love surgeons. Now we don't wanna cut his stomach. All right, the rib is broken. Let's get this out of the way. Yeah, boy, oh my watch fell off. (laughs) You know, patients have actually-- Okay, my patient's dying, wait. All right, the patient's liver
is just floating out here. Okay, let's get this out of here. The right lung, let's get it outta here. This is not the way you perform surgery. Gently over the stomach and
cut out, oh, look at that cut. You know you like that cut. That's a plastic surgery
incision right there. Get that esophagus outta here, bam. Now I have the heart. I think I'm cutting it out. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, the heart, what are you, how did I lose the scalpel? Is the heart loose? The patient's bleeding out. Looks like I'm murdering my patient. Okay, let's try and get the new heart out. I got the heart. The heart is live. Drop it in, oh, wait. I did it!
(triumphant horn) I got a D. Now I know why someone said,
in a review of this game, that this was a comedy. Because literally all I did was chop his incorrect number of ribs off, as I chopped them off and threw
his lungs off to the side, which by the way weren't
connected to anything 'cause I didn't cut the lungs out. Proceed to butcher his aorta
and pulmonary artery and vein, and don't even take his heart out, go into the transplant bin
where the new heart is on ice, and then chuck it into his chest, and apparently that's surgery complete. I can't finish off with a score of D. Do you have hope for me? Because I have hope in myself. I think it's kind of rude to just start bashing him with a hammer, so I'm gonna go in and get this first. See, I don't understand why it's taking points away from me for this. I'm cutting his lung a
little bit, that's okay. Free the lung. Free the lung. There you go, lung is free,
let's get it outta here. This lung is just sticking outta his body. I grabbed it like a football. There you go, get it outta here. My watch even came off,
I'm so passionate about it. All right, there's a lot of
blood in the surgical field. I'm just gonna go right for the heart, see if that's a good way to do it. Okay, heart. Why is that not in? Okay, I need to go in
and make my final cut. Okay, he's grabbing the scalpel all wrong, and now he's causing my patient to die. Oop, my patient has (laughs)
a test tube inside of him. This game is probably so much
more fun in virtual reality. Oh, it worked, I got a D again. This game's really hard, mostly because it's very poorly made and it's clearly a comedy,
it's not a real game. I wanna continue playing more games, I wanna do more reviews, so if you're up for it,
smash the Like button, get this video to 20K likes, guess what? I will make the video where I go out and buy all sorts of
board games, video games, whatever I can find on the shelves and play them on camera. Stay happy and healthy. (upbeat music)
