r/AskReddit Mall Santas of Reddit, what is the weirdest thing a kid asked for?

[Music] mall Santas have read it what is the weirdest thing a kid asked for Christmas I used to be manager at a pet store that would host pet pictures with Santa every year naturally as the largest male at the store I would dress up as Santa one afternoon we were doing it and a pilot walks up to me when I say pilot this man looks like he just landed an aircraft exited the cockpit and walked into my store nametag on and everything he says listen I don't have a pet can I please take a picture with you I say of course he walks up to me sits on my lap has his picture taken and walks out the door never saw him again I was the kid didn't ask for anything but I have a relevant story when I was like 5 we went to see Santa this Santa just happened to be an ass my sly five-year-old self slipped him 5 euros and told him to give me better presents than my brothers he took the money I told my dad a while later he kept the 5 euros 5 year old me was devastated to hear that was one of Santa's helpers and not the real one it wasn't a mall and it wasn't weird but the moment sure was awkward my neighbor has this great Christmas display that he and his family put up every year they usually had me to be Santa because I do a good center voice and I'm good with kids one little girl came up to me and I do the usual what would you like for Christmas she asked if I could bring her daddy back to life for Christmas it took me by surprise he was killed in a car accident and this would be her first Christmas without him very sympathetically I told her that unfortunately even though I Santa can do many things bringing her dad back was something I couldn't do it clearly broke her heart because she probably thought Santa could actually do it I told her that even though her daddy may not be with her now he will always be with her in spirit and he will always love her I was a santur in 1997 for a small authentic Old West Village I was 17 at the time and doing some local theater and the costume lady was asked to find someone to be Santa for the weekend she told me she thought of me because well you're not fat but you're big I'm 6 feet 6 / 198 centimeters so I put on a cheap costume that didn't fit well and the beer smelled like the last Santa threw up in it and I waited in a prop shed in the pleasure that was normally a sheriff office or something tall skinny smelly Santa in a shed sitting on a plastic lawn chair it was no wonder all the children screamed when they were put on my lap none of the masked for anything in fact as they were too busy being scared of me I had a pair of girls and later a pair of guys from the local Christian high school dressed as elves on the first day to take Polaroids and collect money on the second day they flaked and I was by myself all day I charged people money to enter my creepy shirt and take pictures of their own kids my 9 years old kid asked for light bulbs I'm sure Santa wasn't expecting that not the weirdest but my favorite thing I have heard a kid ask for at my daughter's preschool there was a Santa kids were asking for the usual things like toys and unicorns one little girl goes up you can tell she is thinking really hard she asks for two rolls of tape dream big kid one year my cousin only asked for tape for Christmas and his birthday he had created this superhero called tape man who saved the world with tape his mom even made a really awesome costume for him he definitely got a lot of cool patterned duct tape that year worked as an elf for a couple years and we had this wish jar that you could put slips of paper in a little girl wrote something down on a piece of paper and folded it and quietly slipped it into the jar the mom came rushing back after they left asking if we could get the paper out of the jar for her she unfolded it and in crayon it said I want dad to come home the mother started crying and took it with her got some other weird and sad ones but that one hit me right in the fields I'm a teacher I had one of my most difficult obstinate button-pusher kids come in at recess to talk to me he said he was worried he would not get what he really wanted to be a real elf moved to the North Pole and make all the presents he had tears in his eyes and was the most sincere I had ever seen made me really appreciate how hard life was at home he just wished for a way out when I was like nine I wrote a goodbye letter to my parents telling them Santa was going to pick me up and take me to the North Col i sat out in our car and waited on Santa to show up and take me away the most dumb thing about this was that it was the middle of the summer when he was feeling better my father-in-law looked just like a real Santa I used to mess with him around Christmas when we were out and about with a quake Rudolph needs to get back to the pole we need to hurry I got a lot of really great looks from kids the best was a shy little girl that came up and asked for some specific doll without missing a beat he says I'm not sure what the heck that is but I'll have Legolas look into it he always acted grumpy about it but we all know he loved every second my dad also looks like a Santa amusingly he dresses more like a Hells Angel or cowboy he never was a biker or anything but big guy long hair leather jacket so many kids would be like look mom Santa or it's a cowboy and the parent would turn to look and just a look at oh no on their face and rush the kids off honestly dad is a big softy so he is amused by both reactions he told me recently a guy came up to him and said I've been real good this year and dad replied okay what do you want her to look like and the guy gave him a wee look and said oh I'm not into that and then later dad saw him walking on and down with another guy pretty sure dad was being hit on there was a joke a radio host told that I heard about ten years ago so there was a mall Santa in this kid and the kid wanted a tanker truck that had a hitch your crane / hook or something and when it comes time to tell Santa what he wants the kid says I wanted rock with a hooker I was an assistant manager for a mall Santa with no programs there was a special needs twenty-something black guy that would come by nearly every day he easily weighed more than 250 pounds so we did eventually convince him to sit next to Santa instead of on his lap every time he had to remind Santa what he wanted for Christmas his list was home alone on DVD Straight Outta Compton on DVD and Prince's 1999 album on CD Santa was awesome and brought in the Prince CD a few days before Christmas my three-year-old son asked Santa once for a baby rhino Santa told him that the baby rhinos mama would be very sad to lose her baby though then my son said okay well I'll take the mama too maybe she can sleep in my mom's bed not a Santa that I have been a mrs. Claus for the last few years and I always ask the kids what they want while we do our crafts my favorite was this 4 to 5 year old girl that told me she wanted one of those loud horns she made a gesture like she was using those canned air horns and she made a little horn sound she said she wants to use it to wake up her baby brother when he naps in the daytime so he knows what it's like grew up as a military brat with two older brothers in Berlin there was something called snowball satellite on military TV and kids could meet Santa I think I was like 1 and a half years old so our only no details from what I've been told and then later watching the show on VHS because we taped it so anyway my one brother was on snowball satellite like 5 years old and he made wishes for all of us and when he started to say what he wanted for his little sister me he said he wanted some hair long contemplative paws ribbons which is ironic either way because I was a baby with barely any hair could have used some hair on my baby noggin but hair ribbons wouldn't have made sense because there wasn't enough hair anyways my mom really loves telling this story and cracks up every time probably a bit late to the show but when I was super young old uncle Nick asked me with a microphone what I wanted for Christmas in front of the village crowd apparently I confidently asked for the world to a response of nervous laughter luckily the father Christmas knew exactly what I wanted and gave me a globe kept it for years so I was an elf a few years ago got to overhear a pretty good one a very sweet little girl climbed on Santa's lap and asked for a reindeer egg she was pretty sure that because reindeer flew that meant there were some kind of bird and birds hatch from eggs and a howl she promised to take good care of the reindeer hatchling when it arrived and to keep it warm and play with it and make sure it was loved parents assured us they had already gone to a shelter to adopt a dog that week they thought she would be happier with a nice dog who loves kids I thought it was a good compromise Santa told the little girl that reindeer need to live in the snowy areas for a while and be with their parents but maybe when she got older she could visit reindeer I hope she liked her dog when I was little I had a toy kitchen and I had lost the plastic knife I wanted a new toy knife to play kitchen with when I sat on Santa's lap and he said what would you like for Christmas I shouted at the top of my lungs a knife my parents had to clarify that their three-year-old did not want a dangerous weapon for Christmas I don't know why I shouted it I think I was emphasizing that I really really wanted a toy knife that is it for today thanks for watching do all the YouTube stuff and I'll see you all tomorrow

Channel: Robots reading Reddit

Views: 921

Rating: 4.7948718 out of 5

Keywords: Robots, reading, Reddit

Id: 4ho4bImKNm4

Length: 10min 28sec (628 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 09 2019