Rashan Ali: Why Betting on Yourself Pays Off EP. #10

what's up everybody how y'all doing today it's your girl Brandy Harvey I am so excited that you have decided to join us for today's conversation I am like elated for this one y'all don't even know I am like my cup runneth over to be able to talk to as I told her before we got started I always say the same thing about her she is a good human a good person so I am excited actress author multimedia personality philanthropist you've seen this woman on CNN CBS and bet she is everybody's homegirl certified and verified old Atlanta yes and the host of the cool soar podcast she's a wife she's a mother but an all-around good human welcome to Vault empowers talk Mrs Rashawn Ali thank you so much I'm so happy to be here you said all those good things about me I Echo those sentiments about you listen thank you it is so like we run in the same Circle we do always been and I've been on sister Circle and all the things we always kind of find our way in each other's space but I always say the exact same thing about you thank you good people thank you thank you good energy all the time so I know this is going to be a good conversation I'm ready I'm excited so most people don't know as they see you currently on BT and you have this wonderful world it's Miss Tandy listen you are you are listen you are shutting things down and shutting some folks up okay all the time but there's been a journey to get here yes and you have had quite the rise so you start off at left eyes assistant Post Andre Rison the house burning down yes yes yes so uh I was working where was I working I've had so many jobs but I was working I think at Fox Sports South as a production assistant and one of my good friends she and I swam together I went to college on a swimming scholarship and she was working at an insurance company and the president of left eye Productions was on the phone with her boss and I guess they were just having conversation Hey Left Eye needs a new assistant and so he hollers over to my friend Shalonda hey do you know about it that's you know into entertainment that wants to do this type of thing she's like yeah my friend Rashaan so I just come back home from college and so I was living with my parents and apparently Ida called my parents home and my dad left a note on mine that was before cell phones and all that right before the text messages and all of that and my dad left a message on my bed uh Idaho from Left Eye Productions call left eye is looking for a new assistant that look at that piece of paper I was like she burned out houses I am not doing that but something in me told me to just you know just just try and I I promise you I feel like in the next within the next two days I met with Ida and then I went over to her house and uh the rest is history for that part of my life for just a few years it was a short time but enough for me to uh experience a whole lot in in the entertainment space and and see how a lot of these Stars especially back then well probably now because TLC was the highest you know selling group yeah and female in in girl group history at the time but seeing how you know everything that they go through behind the scenes and how creative she was and how out you know she was out of this world really really a talent before her time and we were able to see that in the in the movie that they they did on VH1 which was great but that was a great time in my life I had learned so much growing up as a middle class kid and then being becoming somebody's assistant I was like wait I gotta wake her up what does that mean I gotta follow up on phone calls like I was like somebody's doing that for me and just learning how to how to do that yeah but it um it gave me the opportunity to to see the behind the scenes of a mega star and also really learn her heart which was bigger than I have I've never met anybody like Lisa yeah so so happy to have shared space with her for even a short amount of time yeah yeah so you go from Lisa being her assistant and that pushes you into laface records yeah because you were out of the face I was I mean and that is like height of 90s r b music it was it was a heartbeat of Atlanta at the time and I didn't even really know I think I got a grasp of like how big it was but being so young you're just kind of going through the motions I was trying to find my way so I was in the music video department so I was responsible for helping book The the directors like Hype Williams and Dave Myers and going through the treatments and and cutting height this is when the music industry was so filthy it was so filthy lucrative I remember getting checks written for Hype Williams for a hundred thousand dollars for one video like a four minute video and like how the makeup artist used to make like 3 500 a day and like you know I remember Devon Stevens for his choreography he was getting twenty thousand dollar checks for it you know like all of these big just big checks in the 90s yeah in my 20s and I just got to see so much yeah before LA and Babyface sold it sold the sold the face back to to Arista but that that time was like wow yeah like you know first class you know like I've never done all these things you know flying first class yeah doing Pink's first video when pink was still r b and right you know you said she was still dating black men there listen still dating black men then like listen I was just pink though I think it's from Philly don't get it twisted exactly yes and I remember her when you said that in one of your interviews I was like but that was the pink I fell in love with exactly that was the pink I fell in love yeah you go yes r b pink yeah and I still enjoyed her as her career has just evolved and she's like morphed into who she really is and wanted to become but it's something to say about long longevity in this business and what you've been able to do yeah yeah yeah yeah I mean I I you know I always think about like when somebody does my Behind the Music remember those back in the day it's gonna be yeah it's gonna be like and then in 1997 you know it's just all these different pictures yeah but I think that's the beauty of Life the journey and being able to really evolve and also when things don't go your way like figuring out who you are in that space and then becoming who you are in the next space uh that has been truly a blessing for me that it's the movement I always say the the blessing is in the movement what do you do when things aren't going your way you might have a couple of days to be like oh man this is bad but what do you do when you get back up and I think that's the the beauty of evolution and becoming who you are in the space that you're supposed to be in in that particular time in your life in that particular time in your life yes and so um I recently watched one of your interviews you were interviewing I mean really you call taught him Your Vessel yes Ryan Cameron and if people do not understand and know who Ryan Cameron is he is a staple in Atlanta radio yes and so you did a contest a contest like American Idol you competed to be on his show yes so I do have a degree in broadcast journalism yeah uh back story I wanted to go to film school and so I got accepted into American University right after I finished up at Florida a m University I and I applied to Florida State NYU I wanted to be a director and so I got into American I'm all excited I go up to Washington DC I visit the school I'm like yes I'm going to film School my mom was like no you're not and I was like huh but at the time I wasn't one of those children that knew how to fight for myself like like make a way like because they were always there to provide both my brother and I got full scholarships to college athletic and academic so everything was paid for so in my mind I'm like where is the money that you save can you pay the money that is needed for me film school so I had to figure out what my life was going to look like so I came back to Atlanta to kind of figure out what that space looked like so that that film process or not being able to go to film school I was like what am I going to do next so literally working at Fox Sports South and I worked at the Atlanta Board of Education and accounts payable I don't even like math but it was a family friend who got me a job so I'm listening on the radio it's like Ryan Cameron's like looking for a new co-host we're going to have this city-wide competition and I'm like well have a degree in it I was really good in College radio I had my own Monday night show I was really popular on campus especially because of my radio show and I was like well I might as well give it a try I've tried everything else yeah and I did a whole video on myself I did these three vignettes and one had an accent one had a hood Decatur girl one I was doing a real interview with my man DJ navs but it showed my versatility and I had my guy Taye who I spoke about on my Instagram page just how he walked the tape in to Hot 107.9 went to a big audition and they narrowed it down to 10 people and here I am today yeah because of that opportunity and now I had to make sure I worked hard can't just be given something and think that it's gonna just plan pan out for you I worked hard yeah on radio and it has been my Foundation to this day and you always even when I was watching your interview around Cameron I was like this is two radio people like having a whole conversation because y'all sound like y'all are doing a radio shell right the entire time that is exactly what you know your background is yes and you say that you worked hard because this has been years uh because when I first moved to Atlanta in 2007 you were one of the first voices wow I learned on the radio wow one of the first voices in 2007 when I moved here in Atlanta and so I always wanted to and I still do submerse myself every morning with that with a morning show Absolutely that's very for the culture of Atlanta and you've had such a long career and I recently watched a it was a little real snippet of an interview that you did and the girl asked you about imposter syndrome yeah she asked you about a posture like how do you deal with imposter syndrome and I loved your response to it your response was so good because you said I deserve everything I have I've worked hard to be here I don't suffer with imposter syndrome right now that is [Laughter] and it's crazy because on my podcast uh coming up this week is is an interview I did prior to that interview where I was just kind of dealing you know it's a journey yeah so I was like wow that is going to come back up yeah even after that reel has been posted on your page but I think that shows your vulnerability it shows that this thing really is some days you wake up like I am the best yeah and then some days you're like what am I doing yeah it's such an ebb and flow it's Ebbs and flow and I think when you can show people that I am as real as they come yeah I'm gonna have great days and I'm gonna talk about them I'm gonna have bad days I'm gonna talk about those but going back to that conversation absolutely yeah absolutely we deserve everything that we have worked hard for nothing has been given even though you know both you and I have have grown up in in a space where there's been opportunity but we still had to take the opportunity listen and work the opportunity and work it all the way out all the way through even probably more because people think that you just got here because it's not who you are and your name yeah yeah I work hard for everything that I have yeah nothing was just handed to me on a silver platter not one thing I was so glad to hear that because I got an award uh some months back and I remember when I when they sent me the email I asked my sister I was like I mean I don't know like why they want me to do this and my sister had to remind me right of all of the things that you've done along the way and this past weekend I was at Princeton and I posted that somebody somebody posted and I reposted that I was at Princeton and people are sending me all these things like oh my God sis work sis that's good sis right and I'm sitting up here like this is my 12th year doing this conference at Princeton University but because doesn't make the gram it doesn't happen it never happened it never happened right and so you think in all these different ways that you're walking around undeserving and then you get these moments of the girls that were there like well 12 years ago when you came to the program you impacted my life in this way yeah that's what it's about I'm not out here faking no baby the work is real it's really big it's being done and you talk about your journey I always say your journey has less to do with you and more to do with other people witnessing it that that girl yeah 12 years ago that young lady I get stories like this all the time there is a young lady little short story I went to her third grade class it was a science class and I was talking to the class and I guess she came up to me afterwards I was like you should be you should do more things and stem we need more black girls in science fast forward we're at our um we're at a conference AKA conference she became an AKA she was like and she randomly but not randomly sat beside me she said I want to tell you something when we leave this seminar wow we walk out she was like I remember you coming to my class when I was eight years old and I just want you to know that I'm in my second year of Dentistry School whoa yeah yeah you just never know yeah it's because of you it's that conversation is because of you yeah you know and you said that you were going to no schools every school Ryan Cameron went to you were in those schools being on the radio because you knew how important that was you never again you just don't um you do the work because we learn that you and you endear yourself with the people by being of the people in the community and I was raised because my parents a dad High School football coach legendary High School football coach Mom very much in the community social ran the social work department at Emory Hospital Big Time executive in the 80s so I I understood what giving service being a servant and being and having a servant's heart so being in those schools I knew that this is the way that you establish longevity in in the radio game and also you again endear yourself to the community but it all it made me feel yeah even though I was doing those things it served my heart yes to be able to see the smiles on those faces and to hear people like I grew up listening to you I remember the time you came and you judged I stopped showing I remember when you judge the talent show when you gave you know like all of these different things and uh people never forget that yeah they never forget that and those people who were cheering me then cheering me on then when I see them in the you know out in the streets in Atlanta I saw you only rock and mortgage commercial I saw this you know I've been cheering for you for years that's what makes it feel good I literally saw you on the rocket morning I was like she's coming on the show look at this girl is such a blessing the evolution of your career has been really really magical to watch yes thank you and uh but it has not come without its challenges yeah it's come with quite a few challenges a lot of them and you said that if you have not been let go you have not fully succeeded yeah right I heard that quote from Tom Joyner so you've been let go a few times oh yes but there was one particular time that you weren't let go but it kind of put a little snag in the situation yeah you were pregnant with your now 16 daughter daughter your old daughter Bailey and you were on the 18 Morning Show here in Atlanta and you were on maternity leave yes and so you went on maternity leave and then they called you asking you to come back yes one particular person who knows who he is but they retracted that because they knew they was out of order yes very much so out of order but you had a replacement you had affiliate I did so talk about that situation yeah that that one is uh that one was career changing and life-changing at the same time because when you come back to your job I mean literally I had my last day of work was a Friday and I had my daughter on a Sunday that's how committed I was wow to this station wow and when they decided to as as you know in in radio women like to hear men's voices first so most co-hosts are female yeah and so this guy was still under that uh belief system that a woman did not need to lead morning radio that model still oh it still exists most women that have their own morning shows are celebrities or singers or whatever you know you have a few I did in the morning is doing her thing like it's a lot of them that still are but the majority yeah it's it's a male leading and so he was under that belief system and he said hey I was like Hey when is when is my guy going to go back to his spot because this is I'm back I'm back you know I'm up in here you know nursing my you know put putting the milk in the little things and everything and making sure I have milk for my baby later on I'm doing all the things right to make sure I'm committed to this job and uh this happened and so uh he was like no he's gonna lead the brakes now this is what's gonna happen and my response was you know if I had a penis we would not be having this conversation yeah um it was very male dominated it was very male driven and he really had no rebuttal for that and but I could have filed a lawsuit of pregnancy discrimination lawsuit I did get some information from my uncle who's a labor attorney and he's like yeah you totally have a lawsuit but do you want this to to hover over your entire career yeah and I said no and so I let I just sat there yeah on my own show so many women make that sacrifice oh I know so many women yeah like they just have to kind of suck it up and say okay I'm not gonna proceed I'm not gonna cause too much trouble yeah because this trouble will follow me exactly exactly uh in retrospect I probably would have done the same thing it was good for me to well you know what I'm lying in retrospect I would have got that money and I'd have set my own stuff up and that would have been straight no but it grew me in a way though it grew me in a way because my friend in person he's such an incredible guy he was so uncomfortable being there you know um and so he had to do it and he didn't want it he didn't want to do it but you know but this was also like he's trying to keep his job exactly and he's such an incredible guy so he's still on the radio yeah yeah yeah so he so when a new program director came in they they switched it back and so I got my gig back uh but it took a while it was like a year or so where I had to kind of kind of sit there and just watch it happen yeah yeah so you said it it humbled you and it taught you patience yes what to teach you about yourself in that season wow that I um I knew I know I've always been a good person but like that literally solidified it because I wasn't evil or mean to anyone that had quote unquote done anything to me and I think that's that's nothing but God's grace kind of showing up saying I got you and I know this wasn't of my will but I got you and look at me now all right look at me yeah I love it look at me now get me now Look at me now I had to go through that yeah I had to go through that yeah yeah and so many people take those moments of adversity and they allow them to keep them down yeah but there's so much power in the bounce back right so much power so much power in the bounce back and you know what are you gonna do when things don't go your way yeah how are you going to uplift yourself and also understand again that someone else is looking at how you respond to that situation yeah so then when they're faced with something similar I remember that happened to Rashawn she did this and look and look yeah so it's the example it's the example that we're constantly setting someone is always watching this we man never we may never meet those people yeah but someone's watching and you never know how your influence will help them I love that yeah I love that because you had to do it again yeah oh I'll tell you you were you were let go from sisters well sisters Circle it ended it was ending and Thursday you were released out of the sister Circle world but by Monday you were taking over for Ryan Cameron in his absence yes so during the pandemic you know nobody knew what was going to happen and so we were already Kinda Yeah right there on the edge when it came to to being like being canceled from tegna Techna was a parent company a lot of people thought it was TV one but techno was the the production company and TV one was the cable partner so a lot of people tried to blame TV one it wasn't there for us at all the black show you know how we do we go right right so um they let us go and I was sad for like a day yeah and I went I called Ryan I always call him especially when things I know might hit media and even after we start working together he was still still played that Mentor type role and so that was like let me call him before it hits the media and I called him a couple times I'm like hey that's not like him not call me back and so uh I called his producer I was like hey is everything is everything going okay with Ryan and he was like you know not really and so I found out that he was really really ill in the hospital and when I found out the severity of it I was like oh this is like I need to be in the prayer closet type of yeah hospitalization and so uh I called the program director Derek Harper and I was like hey if you guys need anybody to to fill in like I know Ryan didn't trust a lot of people but I'm like I could be the person that could fill in for him you had a really clear statement you said if there is anybody who can hold the city down in his absence it's me oh yeah yeah absolutely well yeah because Atlanta is a very special place it is it's a very special place and we love we love love yes but we love who we love we love who we love yeah we love what we love you're absolutely right and so yeah having coming under his tutelage and we've done some really great work together and they meet me then me establishing myself in in the industry I mean I knew I was the person yeah and so I literally really did it obviously that was during the pandemic I did it for my front but from my front room and I was out look you know looking outside every day I did it Monday Wednesday and Friday I filled in for my Monday Wednesday and Friday for six months yeah and uh and I was the person that was able to interview him back from the hospital yeah once he was able to talk again and all of and all of that so it was uh yeah it was surreal yeah but it speaks to the power of relationships for you and you were so clear on relationship building and establishing and maintaining those relationships over the years yeah and people identify that and they trust you for that yeah you know yeah you become very trustworthy it's a level of comfort yeah it's a level of comfort and I'm never gonna be a person to set people up or make them feel uncomfortable you're not looking for the expose no you're not looking for the salacious conversation I'm looking for people to leave a conversation with me and say wow yeah I've never spoken like that yeah I've never said those things out loud you want a level of comfortability yeah like you do with your with your guess a level of comfortability you can get you can get anything you want it's Listen by how you approach it yeah that's with life in any interview you can get anything you want you can have Publishers like we're not going to talk about this we're not going to talk about that okay but there's also a way that you can approach a question that makes people feel very comfortable exactly and so that's just how I I'm everybody's home girl I got your back and if there's something that is completely off limits of course I got you yeah you know yeah but there's a way to say hey how did you learn from certain experiences in your life that make you better to this day that make you better yeah that makes you better absolutely so you've done some things over the years that have made you better uh one of those and this is where we share a little similarity you have competed oh God Fitness you've competed in Fitness and you did three shows three and if anybody knows how much work it takes to go into preparing for a fitness competition it is going to take you beyond yourself it's going to take you beyond I mean I did three shows in 10 months that is ridiculous especially for someone who just started just started now you see the a lot of professionals the the pros the pros they can go oh I've got a show in Virginia on Saturday and I'm gonna double back and go to go to Utah you know this next weekend that's a professional yeah I mean I you know I did one in July and I spaced them out though yeah July September and then the following May which was good but I'm an amateur I'm Masters I'm 45 plus I got a family I'm cooking this crazy meals I'm trying to live my life or whatever that was yeah it was it was it was a lot yeah but I'm glad I did it um you know I'm still on the fence about if I'm gonna do it again because I do like this shape that it puts you in and it gives you a really nice window yeah it does did that window close because I started Living oh like I got a little little butt dial I got a little belly so I'm fine you know it is when you start back living oh when you start back living and you start back living because it takes so much discipline to get to that and you talk about those transferable skills that you picked up while you were preparing for competition yeah and so what were those skills that really have transferred over into your life yeah and I'm like trying to pick those skills back up uh they're there but they're there they're they're there just like them ABS they're up under there oh my God that's what to tell myself and the fun we've been having yeah um the the discipline I mean you know growing up as a student athlete and athlete in general you know I have the discipline but that level of discipline is something that you you can't mess around with no it is something that um really has led me to be greater especially coming out of it um but knowing that I can always tap back into it yeah is the beautiful thing um but the other part that people don't talk about is you know sometimes there's this body dysmorphia too because now you're I'm looking at myself like that ain't competition ready or that you know and so it totally changes your mindset totally totally does and I competed at 25 years old right so what it did for me is it gave me at that age discipline so when people see me all the time like you always look the same right and that's a good thing it's a really good thing because but it was because I learned those skills you know and that discipline and how to reel myself in and know when you you looked out too far come on back now and that's how I feel right now when people look at you and be like what you mean what do you mean I know where I need to be and I know what I need to do to get to what I want to look like yeah so I've you know got food in the car just because it's so easy to go to your favorite restaurant like they have the sauvignon blanc and the spinach dip and some trout please you know it's so easy and you understand the mindset yeah and so that mindset I know has to play into being the multi love leveled personality that you are right because I know that that has to play into how you show up for tapings yes I know it has to show up and how you show up and prepare yes for your interviews yeah absolutely and one of the greatest I think accountments that I would have ever received was from a cameraman I used to call him uh what I used to call them he was on sister Circle and he would be out there when I go before everyone else would come out I would go out there I do my vocal exercises I would run through the teleprompter I would go all go over all of my questions and and I would do it every single day he said Rashon that is what sets you apart that is what sets you apart your level of preparation I never I mean I would be out there by myself a b c d like going through the whole telephone Slow Down slow down all right and enunciating everything in the teleprompter going over all of my segments but that level of preparation goes back to radio yeah two and knowing that I don't want to first look crazy about the gate right that's number one I look crazy uh but all of it plays in tandem yeah from when you're a kid preparing for all the sports that I was in and being a great student being salutatorian of a high school class and going on to FAMU and like being I've been a high achiever my entire life so that is that that is not going to to change I think it just gets better yeah with time so even if even if you have a producer like you're a great producer they can give you all of these things you still got to do the work yeah you still have you're the one that's on set the camera's on you the lights are on you yeah how are you going to show up yeah and so I think that that's how I I live my life not not even just professionally but like personally too yeah just be prepared be prepared yeah yeah you know my trainer Rock he says you prepare for the day the night before and so that's why when you have your meals already in the car and you got your gym bag already ready yep and you're you are prepared to win you're prepared to win the day before that makes you prepare for the day the night before I love that yeah yeah yeah and it sticks with me yeah I can tell Heidi listen but you know them days that you don't because I'm at that Starbucks drive-thru like yes I would like this morning give me the sugar yeah I'm not ready right right right but you've been betting on yourself for a long time yes you've been betting on yourself and most recently you're in the third season of the cool store podcast the third video season so I started my podcast since 2016. people don't know that I've got hundreds of episodes they were just audio so I started in 2016. I just started doing the video because I wanted to elevate yeah because especially when so many people started podcasts I'm like how am I going to separate yourself exactly and I'm like let me bet on myself like don't worry about uh trying to find who this person has find your a production team tap into your producer that used to be on sister Circle she can produce your podcast shout out to Nicole you know and and do your get your makeup artist yeah get your stylist like God gave you everything that you actually need yeah to take yourself to the next level yeah stop waiting on somebody to give you a yes and that's when I tell a lot of young people stop waiting on people to tell you to give you a yes you say yes every morning to yourself you say yes every morning to yourself yeah and so uh I started betting on myself and so that's what people have seen the elevation but I've been doing it since 2016 you've been doing the work doing the work which speaks to your entire life with doing the work yes putting in the work yeah you've been doing the work for a long time but you um it hasn't always in doing all the work that you do it does not always you know show up in the best way for everybody right it doesn't show up in the best way and so your husband one day as you're the multi-talented multi-faceted multi-leveled personality said to you one day and this created a shift for you is the world gets all of Rashad Ali and I can't even get a piece when you come in the house peace of Rashawn yeah that uh that was pretty early too back when you talked about going to all those schools and going to all these appearances and that was before people were attaching the feet [Laughter] I was doing the Lord's work of course I will I'll be there 3 30. nice doing the Lord's work yes yes but then you're like you come home and this was early in our marriage I'm not even sure we yeah probably younger children um but I had to figure out what is going to be the balance here what am I going to not sacrifice but how can this make sense how can I really start saying no and being okay with saying no because I'm a reform people people pleaser I'm a reformed people a couple people like that on the show yeah Daniel said the same thing yes yes yes and so being in that space where you're constantly saying yes when you start saying no and putting yourself first it may not be attractive to other people but then I stopped caring what those people thought I literally give zeros I just don't I do not care about what other people think yeah I don't I stopped doing it I stopped doing it and when I stopped doing that and started saying no to all of that and and learning how to balance that life that's when things shifted at home how did you do that how did you start to create healthy boundaries but also how did you start to create them for the safety of your marriage um it was a process it didn't happen overnight I started saying no to a couple of things started saying hey I can come if and then making home a priority it wasn't because I was so into [Music] making sure rashan Ali was a brand like a real reputable brand that I just didn't even care what was going on honestly at the house and that's the truth yeah like hey well aren't you benefiting from it you know that's your mindset yeah yeah and when when you start thinking like that then it's you that could really be detrimental to your relationship which it could have been yeah if you allowed the email to take over that yeah that that's hard to acquire that Beast sometimes this is a big beast yeah it's a big it's a big beast yeah but then at the at the end of the day and I don't like seeing that particular quote the end of the day but don't worry my mother says it actually five times in a conversation at the end of the day uh these people love me more than anything in the world yeah you know obviously outside of God of themselves but you know uh and you can't take any of it with you yeah you want to set your family up yeah for success but you really can't take anything any of it with you so let's take the trip let's go out to dinner we celebrate 21 years of marriage tomorrow wow wow thank you congratulations it's not and I still like him a lot yeah you like them I like him I think they're so important yeah I always tell younger couples like your spouse yeah because I feel like love goes like this but I really like him through those hard times I'm like man you wanna watch football game [Music] yeah I like that guy I like that guy so but we've worked hard for these Smiles we've worked hard for the like yeah we worked hard for the life that we have and are continuing to to develop yeah because you know our daughter our older daughter is about to go to college next year and then we'll have a rising ninth grader So within the next five years it'll be yes which again yeah yeah and we got changes it does but we put in the workers we spend time together yeah we go out I was running to you at the airport that day exactly on your way back from Jamaica exactly yeah sure yes we were coming through customs together and did yeah to go but we had to learn that and then we had to position ourselves too which is why I'm so grateful for so many opportunities that have come my way that God has ordained from my life that we've co-created together because you've got to do the work you got it you gotta you got to do that work you gotta do that work um and so where I am now I like to celebrate the wins yeah yeah you know sometimes you're in the well we got to do this we gotta how about live a little bit yeah because you said you are not a bags and shoes girl you're an experienced girl I'm an experienced girl so what are you looking to experience in this season More Travel More International speaking engagements more International I want to just go interview people and yeah in beautiful places with water in the background you know because I'm I love to be around water but I want to I want to travel for for a living and come back home and make sure everything's good at home and now my daughters are my my younger daughter went to Belize this summer so she did girls born Global yes she did so you know I'm a huge supporter of girls being Global I used to be a chaperone on the girls I've done Costa Rica Belize twice I love it yeah so yes both of my daughters have are in the program yeah uh and my older daughter went to France earlier this year she spent 11 days she was there with a family she went with her IB program at her school but you know she fully fully immersioned full immersion so with a family and everything like that so I'm developing or we are developing in them to be worldly yeah they have stamps that I don't have and growing up middle class I you know my parents didn't we didn't I mean we got in the car we're gonna go to Disney World exactly we're gonna go see your grandparents in Charleston and that was kind of the extent of it and nope you know there's no shade to my parents at all but they did the best they could right but now I'm like my daughter just got back from a pre-college program in graphic arts at this art school in Maryland and to be able to just praise God write a check and say no you're going there for two weeks that you can't yeah a pair of J's yeah and that that experience that she has absolutely absolutely you can't so I we have you know tried to create a life where the experience from the work that we've done yeah can afford them experiences yeah that they'll never forget yeah and so if they decide to do to to have children but even for themselves after college or during go yeah yeah go yeah live I love that live yeah because it gives them a sense of pride in what they've been able to accomplish and see but it also changes their perspective right it elevates their conversations it elevates what they can offer in rooms because they have a set of experiences that others may not have yes yeah and understanding like the little things that we take for granted yeah like a dishwasher listen or air conditioning you go to other places and baby you are confronted with some things my baby FaceTime me from a room her first room believes I said oh Lord let me call Marty's a little like my baby about to have a stroke listen I just gave that that talk at the orientation at Princeton for a girls program two weeks at the well and I said now I know some of y'all parents gonna call up here my baby said it's hot it is too hot in her room I said because they've grown up with hvacs you and I grew up with it was one air conditioner in that window unit or y'all had a fan of everybody right right right okay so they got a different idea of what life looks like yes you know yes they are pampered pooches they really are I'm just like so the next time you come in my room or change the thermostat down to 60 man do you pay this not at all not one cent not at all yeah so what has motherhood taught you about yourself oh my god what have your children taught you motherhood did not come easily for me talk about it it was not because people think it's like soon as you get it you are gonna be like you're just gonna know and that's what everybody says to me you'll you'll really love your own yeah I didn't hold a child until I had one I didn't hold an infant because that is that I was like okay wait till they bought three all right now I don't want to hold your baby oh that's so that wasn't that wasn't my thing yeah um so I had to learn how to embrace motherhood now I had my first child in the in the height of my radio career as a local personality I was like the highest paid uh at the station I was super popular back then there was no Uber or Lyft so I had a personal driver to my gigs at night uh just making money and you know that little little shoes yeah so any other but I was feeling good about myself and so you get pregnant and then everything changes yeah and I was like I gotta nurse her right now and I'm about to go to the club you know I gotta get on the radio I gotta nurse her again I gotta then I gotta run home and you know it was like so it didn't really I had to learn how to embrace it um and I think more people need to talk about that yeah on the open because we are supposed to be especially as black women the most maternal creatures on this Earth yeah and it doesn't come that easily for for everyone so they've taught me a level of patience they've taught me how to raise independent children I'm not a helicopter mom and I think not approaching it like that for me everybody has their own way of being a mother they taught me that you can be the type of mother you need to be for your children you can't emulate somebody else yeah yeah being the mother that they are to their children that's what their child needs my babies have um they they really live a life where they now if they can keep the room clean a little better but I'm just I'm talking about like in the grand scheme of things yeah very independent children yeah and I think we've done a great job of that and they've got an outstanding father yeah my husband is he's top-notch yeah if you know God forbid I leave before him and in the younger part of our Lives they're they're they're set they're Daddy's Girls and I I wouldn't have it any other way and you know I don't you know he would be the primary parent like if anything were to to happen yeah God forbid I don't like saying it like that but he's that good yeah he's that good he hates when I try to there's no comparison but there's honesty I'm saying what his strengths are yes and what your strips are absolutely yeah I'm gonna make sure everything's taken care of when we go on trips and all these and I'm gonna cook I'm gonna do these things but and I'm a nurture as well but he's just so damn good yeah he's great and that's a great partner for someone like you to have absolutely who it didn't come so naturally too and he was the one like he was and he's the he's the baby magnet you know everybody loves Smitty yeah they they do all the kids do yeah but I'm I'm extremely blessed yeah to to have a a partner like him and they're extremely the best to have a father like yeah did you find somebody as some people say that they found somebody like their father absolutely your father coach who huge community community pillar your husband following the same you all kind of had the same backgrounds growing up parents together for all the years and both Greek and all the things yeah did you marry someone like your father very much so very much so he and my dad's birthdays are one day apart wow one day apart they're both Educators both coaches and when we have family gatherings they are just literally on the couch just talking about they act very much alike yeah very much alike so I did I did I married my dad I mean someone like him yes you know someone like yeah someone like my dad did you think you were always looking for that I was looking for the love that I knew the love that you knew yeah I got it from home yeah my daddy called me pretty from the time I can remember hey pretty yeah and my dad was was a teacher so Summers were were Daddy yeah my mom was corporate so there was no Camp it was Daddy Camp yeah and he was our swim coach so we would go from football practice we would go uh back to the pool we'd go to swim practice come back to two days for football practice and I was the name of my company is the coach's daughter because I've always been around my dad yeah like and so he showed us the type of love my brother and myself like that's what you're supposed to get from a man so I I didn't expect anything less now I had some crazy boyfriends no we all go You Gotta Have It you gotta hand me a couple thugs so yeah yeah yeah I learned that yeah learn love from from my dad you know learn love of a man for myself yeah so you have to go searching it out nah so even in your process of seeking and healing and on your journey you've talked very openly about therapy and how therapy and meditation and these spiritual practices that you carry are so important to you yes so talk a little bit about how that plays into your success and how you live your life each day you always have a center you always have a center even last night I was meditating in our backyard I did some grounding exercises because I I felt misaligned over the last few months just traveling and partying and you know your energy especially when you're giving a lot of energy you're receiving a lot of energy and you're not cleansing that energy it it will get in there and so I was like let me just do my centering prayers I had my palisanto sticks and I'm just you know I'm just looking at the moon and just praying and just walking on the grass and just thanking God you have a center once you understand how to get back yeah and also journey in Grace because the journey is this yeah it is but if you can give yourself I have to constantly say give yourself Grace you're not going to be walking around here like Jesus every day or whoever you so you know you're not going to be this this level of perfection every single day so give yourself Grace and therapy has just it changed my life how so I was able to unpack a lot of things that have never been attacked yeah yeah just unpacked yeah and even though I came from this great upbringing there's still stuff stuff there's still stuff there that you've carried on that doesn't even belong to you cool child we so good at picking up other people's bags around with us honey who bag is this I love your bag you're so cute let me wear it exactly I did a lot of that growing up and so just unpacking yeah a lot of that I started therapy when I was 40. I'm 48 now so 40 four maybe I started at 35. okay 34 35 yeah yeah and I also wanted to normalize therapy for my girls yeah so I'm like I'm going to see but I'm going to therapy or be quiet especially during the pandemic when we couldn't go in you know I'm in therapy I'm on Zoom you know like everybody just leave me alone everybody be quiet you know um so normalizing that for them but it's just really helped me and even when I get off track like hey I need to check in please I gotta get it back together can you can you talk to me now yeah yeah yeah yeah [Music] but the things that we've been able to accomplish I remember her saying like just you you good now but wait till where we're going yeah and now to see that yeah and think about that first conversation yeah because the first conversation can be scary yes right it can be really really scary it is because I remember my first conversation in therapy and I remember going in thinking like okay I'm gonna do this this is awesome and I got in there and I was like that feels so good I don't know that I need to go back oh you know I think good by the time the next session came I was like yeah I I think I'm good I don't think I'm gonna come in today and she said that's fine but I need 24 hours notice and so I will have to charge you I said well let me try to see if I can make it right right right right and you went back in there you probably was crying way back in there and was like I have to be here yeah I have to be here yeah but it does help you unearth and uproot a lot of things that we don't really know or don't really think that they're big enough right right because we think that we think that we're looking for these really big traumas but it's some really small traumas that have left the biggest marks yes and and being able to tap into that yeah and say oh wow that's why I am a perfectionist because somebody told me I wasn't good enough yeah yeah nine yes yeah and this is why I'm such an overachiever and like even though it's not a bad thing but like yeah all the things all the things that you don't really think are things and then you get in therapy and be like oh yeah that's a thing that's a that's the reason why yeah so let me kind of course correct and I tell people all the time you know therapy is like for those people who you know may not think that it's for them or still kind of walking that line you know it's like you take your car in for a tune-up you go into the doctor for a checkup for your body it's really like being able to recalibrate the system a little bit yeah you just get to recalibrate yeah just trying to reset some stuff yes with somebody who don't know Ray Ray and Taytay in them right trying to get up in here and talk about right right right right they won't judge me talking about things that are you know deemed taboo yeah especially in the black family yeah you know so um I'm grateful yeah I'm grateful you remind me I need to go ahead and schedule another appointment so you're grateful um what kind of end on this because I think this is this was a really really good part of your story and journey that really was so powerful when you talk about gratitude you said you were so grateful for Tyler Perry you said because you got the role your current role is Miss Tandy on all the queen's men um he had a staff meeting I mean you know a team meeting and he talked about his vision and what he wants to do for everybody and I want to make everybody Millionaires and all these things and you bought into that Vision yeah I mean just constant conversation I mean the thing about uh Mr Perry is that when we were in the bubble we shot in the bubble the first world I got was one uh one episode on Sister season two and then I got cast for missed handy on um all the queen's men and so we shot our first you know season in the bubble and so he actually would come out you know once we rap for the night because we had the food trucks and everything like that and like whole session yeah I'm just talking about life and you know the journey and you know his thing was hey everybody just come to do your part to do your part and that that just that just sat with me like everyone is expected to do what they're supposed to do if you're an actor know your lines make a decision and people talk about how fast you know we go it's because he wants you to make a decision about what you want to do prior to you getting there you know he'll make an adjustment as well obviously technically um behind the scenes as well but that opportunity for all the Queens men really it changed my life uh the character changed me because it was completely outside of who I am yeah right so is it apart yeah that can't be there yeah and then you know being on a a show that has become popular we're in our third season uh it changed my life financially yeah as well and so I uh I'm forever grateful for for the opportunity to even be in that in that space yeah you know he's he has been a vessel to to change a lot of people's lives and I'm glad to say I'm one of them yeah yeah I love that I love that so what is this season teaching you right now as far as the season of My Life season of your life I have to trust that everything that I've dreamed of that's already in the vortex is here hmm and that I am attracting it to me so not to worry because as creatives and as high achieving people yeah we're like so sometimes like what's next next you know um but trusting that it's here it's already here it's already here we're just beating at the time we're supposed to meet and continuing to stand in the gratitude that is part of the journey into really really Journey again journey and Grace because when you're good it's universal law that good comes back to you yeah yeah and so I just got to make sure that I continue to believe that even in those days when you doubt you know because the Doubt's gonna come it's it's human yeah we are being humans yeah yeah we're being yeah so anything can come your way how will you respond yeah I'm trying to respond no I am responding in gratitude and knowing that will it what is for me let me say that again and knowing that what is for me will never miss me it's never going to miss you so what are you grateful for right now this moment this moment amen because a minute yeah and I'm blessed to have it yeah with you amen that's a perfect that's a perfect ending I couldn't have asked for a better one So Divine thank you the multi-talented multi-layered multifaceted old Atlanta yeah New Atlanta all things but just the overall good human thank you I am so excited I think you are one of those people that you got a sigh a lot of people cheering for you and you don't even know it like everybody got their pom-poms out thank you for you and what you're going to do it is so amazing but you are all around good human so you guys thank you for joining my conversation with the beautiful Rashawn Ali this is Vault empowers talks and guess what we got more on the way for you so be sure to like subscribe go ahead and hit that button right now and send this to somebody who needs to be in gratitude for this moment be present for this moment for his surely Divine nothing is going to miss you I'm your girl Brandy Harvey eat well give a damn move your body every day until next time y'all peace what's up everybody I hope you enjoyed my conversation with the beautiful and multi-talented Rashaan Ali I know some of y'all might need a few Cliff Notes so here it goes I'm going to give y'all my three biggest takeaways from my great conversation with Rashaan the first thing is express some gratitude be grateful for every moment along the journey Rashaan tells a beautiful story of her working with Tyler Perry and she bought into his vision in such a great way but she's been grateful for what that role that she walked into because of Tyler Perry she's grateful for what it has done and all the doors is open in her life the second thing is show yourself some Grace it's not going to be perfect on this journey it's Ebbs and flows the road gets windy but if you allow yourself to have a little grace to say today may not have been perfect but tomorrow I get another shot you keep winning the third thing that I took from her wonderful long career and having longevity is that she has done the work work you don't get out of doing the work people no matter if you start off as the assistant of left eye and it takes you to be an actress on Tyler Perry's show the work is going to speak for itself but it shows up the moment you show up until next time y'all peace

Channel: Vault Empowers

Views: 6,253

Keywords: podcast, vault empowers, vault empowers talks, podcasts, motivation, black women in business, vault, Brandi Harvey, success, mindset, empowerment, elevation, empowering, motivate, growth, daily motivation, rashan ali, rashan ali podcast, Steve Harvey, vault empowers powered by Steve Harvey, steve harvey motivation platform, Steve Harvey podcast, Brandi Harvey podcast, betting on you, how to bet on yourself, bet on yourself

Id: DZeu_6Rgl9Q

Length: 58min 34sec (3514 seconds)

Published: Thu Sep 21 2023