Randy Marsh Is THE WARRIOR OF LIGHT [FFXIV]

[Music] oh dude I just took the biggest crap hey where are you guys we're over here by the cart okay I'm back dude we've been waiting forever well I'm sorry I had to take a dump if you didn't eat so much you wouldn't have diarrhea all the time fat ass hey I don't need to take any lip from a freaking [Music] girl hang on guys my dad wants something what you've been on your computer all weekend shouldn't you go out and socialize with your friends I am socializing artard I'm logged on to an MMO RPG with people from all over the world and getting XP with my party using TeamSpeak I'm not an artard all right sorry [Music] guys finally I'm online again yes here feel think oh [Music] [ __ ] it's [Applause] beautiful what once I Rose above the noise and confusion just to get a glimpse Beyond this illusion I was sing Ever higher but I flew too [Applause] high so you the adventurer of whom I've heard so much well met friend my name is minia and I lead the Scions of the Seventh Dawn uh my name is Randy and I just really like beer wellcome we are the Scions of the Seventh Dawn an order that transcends political boundaries Hey look it's the president alel and my sister aliz At Your Service okay Stan it's late go up to your room and get ready for bed please join with me in honoring their memory and how do you propose to honor the memory of those you cannot remember prel shut up sh our single objective is the preservation of the future of aoia I am laab Brea of the Asians servant to the one true God I'm Randy and I'm an alcoholic among our gravest concerns are the Godlike beings known as the primals what do you want to do huh what do you want to do our order is home to a number of individuals who like you possess a rare and special talent look there beside the black wolf he's become one of them thankd no and so I implore you lend us your power you of all people must see the truth in this you who have the strength to rule you should have never come to our town going to go fight for my children's future [Applause] I mean you had her killed you black hotted bastard wow that is huge she always was a most unwilling puppet I dare say her grace was grateful that someone thought to cut her strings will you look at that is that the biggest crap you've ever seen or what how do you even think of this stuff come on that's pretty impressive hey Stan Stan look at this his size is staggering huh never seen one that big have you oh man yeah that is [Music] hot and so they came at a friend's behest with memories of the lost and dreams of redemption with hope yet in their hearts three weary Travelers whose arrival would set in motion great change we've got to keep moving we're in deep hypothermia all of us we've got to keep a blood flowing I claim the right to name a [Music] champion on my are you ready to run come on friend let us put an end to this Mama's F just remember Stan win or lose those are your two options win or lose hang on I almost caught the dragon I can get him wait where's he going now no no I said [Music] no oh do not look at me so a smile better suits a hero no you can't die everybody really likes [Music] you man that is hot oh yeah you are safe thank the 12 thank you Sharon do you feel strong enough to talk at the last moment I invoked a teleportation magic Shar and I found myself a in the live stream I don't know what it's like to have periods but I'll try to be more understanding from now on look at you whole grownup and womanly hey Sharon did you see the box of Jack Daniels all right see you Sharon have a good night such strength it defies all reason how how can this be a who what are you welcome welcome find yourself an empty seat and I'll be with you in a moment here a mug on the house let's get some color back in them [Music] cheeks this is come you are right on this day let us all remember that no people on this Earth are really enemies only folks with differences never now what I have for you is a nice goat cheese and heirloom tomato frittata and we're going to top that with a little cream fre oh yeah by the 12 I thought ishgard remarkable but this we are certainly not in aoia anymore oh wow wow this is going to be our best special ever oh a thousand pardons my lady the signs of the Seventh Dawn I presume I hope your voice is not too F wo what the [ __ ] is going on my such naked suspicion oh dear have I offended you what I'm upset about is a wee Little Thing Called cultural appropriation ever heard of it that's why we can't wear sombreros on SEO de Mayo why we can't dress like Indians on Halloween might I suggest that we continue this conversation at the company offices too many eyes and ears here you understand you racist son of a [ __ ] you have no right to wear that stuff it is offensive I see now that this was neither the time nor the place to indulge said longing over there someone's coming all right all right here you go boys kill him surely you can do that punch wait wait wait wait wa what the [ __ ] spoil not your appetite for the feast children of man all right now for my big zii we are going to start off by getting some extra virgin olive oil into the pan the dish will be served whether you will oh yeah get that all over there it's all slick it's all wet and Slick the village is not far my Lord if it please you we shall escort you there directly but as his Radiance wishes and may I say how terribly sorry we are that you had to come so [Applause] [Music] far Ambush Shinobi and me without my brute the step has spoken then the Hanes we have one the mul have one the dawn Throne is ours kill him kill them all you want a war well you got one game on [ __ ] today the day I finally shut up Kay my Lord kumay leas [Music] gotcha ah stop Shelly [Music] [Music] no coward stop what Farewell My First friend my enemy why are you saying that why AR you making those words with your [Music] [Applause] mouth come to have a good laugh have you I see you Fida I see you for what you are [Music] Mark me savior of the Savages there will be a reckoning that's nice now how's about you take that [ __ ] stick and get off my farm before I shove it up your ass and you're blowing Mist out your butle my Lord was destined to lead us onto a glorious New Age yeah whatever all you're doing is blowing smoke sorry fruit steam [ __ ] I will cherish this moment lock it away within my heart until the day we meet again go Vape some more you [ __ ] puss you look troubled my friend was it something he said oh dear we seem to be missing a corpse well it must be somewhere I only hope it isn't walking around that's it a wall we could build a huge City wall so that we have complete control over who comes in you can't just wall yourself off from the outside world putting walls up never helps anything tearing them down brings us together the black wolf has shed his Pelt never to return to Gamal or her Legions have you forgotten what happened all those years ago or are you just trying to make up for it at last I found you who are you I'm afraid such questions will have to wait we have precious little time go to the crystal tower I left something for you near its base all you need do is find it your time has not yet [Music] come but I see you've met my guest I will escort him to the Cherian myself come with me I will answer whatever questions you have when we are somewhere more private the realm in which you now find Yourself Belongs to one of the 13 Reflections or shards the first to be precise I'm a small business owner from the United States how wonderfully exciting what a brave and Reckless and marvelous thing you did can I give you guys my card I'm just starting to grow my business but answer me this traveler did your garments come with you when you crossed over your teeth your nails oh that that's weed marijuana you know just as I thought right we were going to organize a room for you weren't we come along I know you you're the warrior of light from the source can I help you find something what did you just you can hear me oh oh I get it you can be a spooky ghost all you want but no everyone just wants to prove that Randy's going crazy oh Gods how long has it been go ahead all you want bro all you want don't mind Randy he's just losing his mind as such I would suggest you first seek out one of the twins alino is on kusia is not here to compete leave him be go what a cat we'll not be throwing this one back it is home to a city called yulore I'm a sneaky little bee buz where the rich and privileged W away their days in Idol yeah you like that Al meanwhile traveled south to the Arid wastes of armar I knew you'd turn up sooner or later but I had been hoping for sooner Shelly we need to talk about your marijuana problem those who dwell there live in constant fear of attack by the Senators have you seen HRI I swear I only took my eyes off him for a moment told you kids got demons no no no no no but you must be wondering about than he has taken up with a new companion fasi C I'm a butterfly another self-important little brat just what we need it's me up here huh reminds me of my childhood I'm flying free with my beautiful butterfly wings it seems we won't be joining you butterflies have no concern for such things danad I'm going to go find me some butterfly poon to the north is the fairy kingdom of Il Mech that is where you'll find a I have told her many things where we came from what we fight for but of that day I have not spoken I mean you can't just wait until she's a teenager and Spector to figure out everything all at once the question remaineth however who shall take up the flame of Hope which minfilia ha born for so long I am emit s aan oh hey [ __ ] you a war waged without knowledge of the enemy is no war it is mere bloodland just once might we not seek to find Common Ground look it's not going to be easy it's not something anyone wants to do but we're just going to have to get really really high to the east lies the once prosperous civilization of Rak Tikka your stoer is stationed there in the heart of the forest we apprehended them as you ordered but are you certain these are Senators M apologies Master matoya but Thou Art mistaken before thee standeth our dearest com the truest hero Among Us hey everybody want to thank you all for coming tonight my name's steamy rayon and here's a little bit of rattlesnake 1 2 [Music] 3 it cannot [Music] be yeah whoa why did you spam me why what have I done to deserve this this Mercy now listen up my friends the time is almost here we're going to make it not one more good person dies on my watch weapons at the ready let's make this count stick together fight and struggle we have work to do seek salvation by your own hands though the losses be grave endure them though the victories be Hollow claim them how many times must I tell you the trolley won't run boring come on is a beautiful wonderful dream one we share should you survive the remaining calamities you will become our equal no no I'm sorry but I'm not like you how well do you know the Exile has he ever dained to show you what hides beneath the cow Thank You For Fighting For This World Mexico we fair you well my friend country that speak Spanish yell in mexic Ru everything nobody can build anything will you just relax nobody's going to find out anything what the hell are you doing will you listen to me for 5 seconds keep building giant robots the cops are going to ask questions hang on he's got a gun [Music] I can imagine how torn you must feel looking at that Sky knowing what it means to everyone and that you're responsible I almost did it I almost made something of myself you know when you get real close you start to think that maybe your life is going to matter you're in a corner and there doesn't seem to be any obvious way out but that doesn't mean it's over however hopeless it seems you haven't lost yet I mean this was something I made something that came from me that was a part of me but you heard what the Asen said the light you shine will warp the world around you whether you like it or not even your Stoler and' had to concede that point I know that this late in my life I'll never come so close to finally having meaning there were times in the years and decades that followed when I wondered if we might not have been better off just letting the rejoining happen but seeing that giant talor stir to life cured me of any doubts I still had and I can finally feel proud of the part we played in helping this world survive [Music] you're right I thought being a victim would solve all my problems being a victim has a downside too well come on [Music] then this world is not yours to end this is our future our story I didn't hear no [Music] Bell am it can't be damn you damn you all remember remember us remember that we once lived no no everybody really liked [Music] him Stan Stan Stan I need your [Music] help I've got to try to take it easy from now on son get Daddy another beer will you there was a time when I would have borne the weight of such expectations without a second thought I know that but this disease is just eating me up I hate my illness to tell the truth I'm beginning to wonder if I chose the right path I know exactly how you feel I've got alcoholism maybe I am not the person I thought I was the person you think I am I'm going to die and thus do we meet face to face at last my warrior of light Guided by the crystal conflict looms Monumental which will decide the fate of this world and all life upon it oh hey I didn't see you there guys I wanted to talk to you because I want you all to think about how we're viewed as a family pray forgive me I was delayed it's fine Oran we're all here now let's get down to business then shall we we don't really have any black friends we don't reach out to the black community yes it is quite the quantry Shelly you never bring any black dudes over I mean Stan your three best friends are all white thoughts objections I did gain a sense of where things lie we'd like to think that wouldn't we but actions speak louder Than Words gag I guess I guess I just want you to think about it we must prevent the taro's plans from coming to fruition I shall continue what I've begun in Charan I should also like to steal the surfaces of an archon or two and thereby gain access to a greater range of reading material testicular cancer most common in older men and can be extremely aggressive oh this is good nadana an alchemist residing in distant fa and one last thing you might experience a Teensy weeny Touch of violent ethereal sickness her missive describes the sudden appearance of a tower [Music] what in the subsequent summoning of what I can only assume is a Luna Primal allow me to tell you a story surely you've yet to hear the one about van Daniel the sued AEL oh great everything's getting a reboot now that fact is of no consequence not to mention the recent inscrutable behavior of the Forum do you remember when the decision was made to come to Charan oh man I really like it for's refusal in grania had those same undertones it was as if having stared unblinking into the face of impending doom it simply turned away to pursue something more important how do we know they're not we need to be brave enough to ask questions this inquiry is now in session words with Venom words that bind words used like weapons to cloud my mind I'm a person I'm a man but no matter how I try people just say hey there's that guy mind your tongue Aron everywhere I go it's always the same everyone just thinks of me as that one single name hey guy guy hi guy stop now go call me guy fill me with your hate try to bring me down oop up you're too late when will it end will there ever be a time when I can be thought of as more than just [Laughter] guy respect hello students my name is Dr Marsh and I'm going to talk to you a little bit about what happened at the school yesterday how do a man and a woman make a baby anybody a man and a woman what do they do to make a baby how is that even possible the man puts his penis okay into the woman's vagina by the 12 what happens after that okay now sometimes a man can feel like how long his penis is is actually important but is it I should hope not the truth is it doesn't really matter what does matter is length time diameter plus weight over girth divided by angle of the tip squared okay so then let's move on to the example on your study sheet how about you could you read the first example for the class it is a rare thing indeed to see such a diverse and talented group of individuals assembled for a single purpose we shall Provide support and protection to those in need during our time in Gore so if the Admiral want wants us to go to garold then that's what we'll do the most Dependable Warriors of alar and aligo have assembled at the Sultana and general alin's behest accordingly I have been designated commander of the ilad contingent I will be your Twinkle Toed gentleman of light for battle and blood we come as a step is sorely lacking in both should I take them out now Oran estan and myself have visited goold recently so we'll lead the reconnaissance efforts you can't go out there you'll freeze to death as a matter of fact I have something else in mind for the two of you and alphao all right come on both of you we've got to pull together every warm piece of clothing we can find no why why wouldn't they safer to Brave the Wilds than trust in our magic if a world without conflict is your desire why reject the unity and prosperity of Gamal I'm warning you you're on the wrong side of this just trying to get answers put it down now now what I have for you is a nice goat cheese and heirloom tomato frittata and we're going to top that with a little cream fre oh [Music] yeah you know my intents consume the God then the world stoke your Fury to a raging in Inferno and dance among the ashes or perhaps you would face me here now I don't even know how to deal with you [Music] anymore at last my God what are we going to do it is a rather curious crew she have chosen they're endearing forms intended to ease the passengers Hearts perhaps perhaps it's okay guys we need to talk my name is living way and we are the lerit pleasure to meet you all but I'm still trying to make sense of this I wanted to keep this from you really wanted to wait until you were older but you just had to keep asking questions by thine unperturbed countenance I gather this eventuality was anticipated oh yes quite expected you have to be careful when we think somebody's on to us we are all part of a secret society very ancient very important Society of men who follow the way of the rabbit and protect the secret of the Easter bunny so too hath The Watcher claimed I dare say it is beyond anything we have ever seen confusion and bewilderment are completely understandable we are called The Hair Club for Men perhaps you could tell us a bit more about your terrestrial collaborators you don't seem to understand how serious this is the secret of Easter that we protect is is something that could Rock the foundation of the entire world might I ask where exactly you intend to take us I can't tell you you have to be allowed into the society first but but perhaps it's time oh God oh God oh God oh God I'm so startled I've got the video camera got it turned on again okay this is Randy Marsh I'm shooting this video of myself 20 minutes ago some huge creatures attacked our town it's still chaos out the window I barely made it back to the house Sharon is here with me and there's Shelly wave to the camera shell Randy will you put down that camera we need to figure out what to do I don't know what to do I'm so startled oh my God oh my God oh my God go rzy run got to get out there you are you've spoken with the survivors we thought to share what we have gleaned fortuitous timing Al and I completed our own investigations not long ago [Music] [Applause] you're right about that you must travel to elpus to the time when Hermes served as its Chief in all likelihood none will be able to see or hear you and how might we address you my new friend Integrity a fine name and I'm pleased to see you understand our words what are you doing here we are here to speak with Hermes the chief overseer of this facility may we please be friends oh oh okay if the final days are indeed as described they will bring death to all that I hold dear utterly preposterous I refuse to accept that our world could be undone by some unforeseen Calamity those people from the future have had a hard life where they come from is dirty and overpopulated and poor you can't even imagine the kind of depression they come from I've had my fill of your fiction I will return to my duty and you will not bother me again you might want to just startop for a second and think about how crappy the future really is the two are somehow involved yet it's difficult to believe that they would deliberately seek to end all life but that's impossible why would he do this he is a gentle soul and well intentioned yet it does not take ill intent to beget ill this is wrong all wrong whoo What the hell was that all about you heard what she said she means to destroy us all can't just keep us in here if we ourselves are flaw does not stand to reason that we too should be discarded that is sophistry and you know it you all need to stop right now before more people get hurt as you move forward so too will I and when mankind has found the strength to stand against despair we shall silence the song of Oblivion perhaps one day but for now it's just too much for us fair you well my light of the future till we meet again every great Empire reaches a point we're going backward can seem more appealing than forward when the world is changing so fast it makes us yearn for the old ways when life seemed simpler but it doesn't mean those old ideas are good for us now we have to face one hard reality the new Star Wars was not as good as everyone thought it was it may seem fun to go back and recycle the past we loved but we end up with no sustenance this is all wrong why must we suffer so there must be a way to restore things to the way they were we can't accept it we won't accept it does this look familiar [Music] it is time to stop pointing fingers figure pointing gets us nowhere Steve order we have no time to waste on debate this is alphano the Scions have need of you what's all this gathering firewood so to speak we alone can accomplish little but joined by others we may yet build a bonfire to carry us Heaven's W yeah well you know my son is just a little bit more clever than some well shall we make a toast to Victory to our comrades to the future of the [Music] star hey this tastes like [ __ ] so are we ready as ready as we'll ever be oh come on try it again with faing engage you approach the bounds of my ultimate where those who yet value you monsters go back to hell what what is that the rest is up to [Music] you oh alphano yeah everything sucks that's where we're at today everything sucks why does everything suck this hard there is someone here who has wished for this ruin and I believe that together Al and I can overcome their will how did we get here completely confused and with [ __ ] for choices I know I know don't worry about us you must take the next [Music] step what's it all about huh are we just bags of carbon and water put on this planet for no purpose you're born you die then you're just food for the worms in case the Practical implications were lost on you your comrades no longer need fight their fight call them back to your side yeah we're back yeah at the end of everything I find you my friend oh Jesus we forgot all about that guy you struggle in vain you will not silence Our Song of Oblivion why did it have to be like this why couldn't we try to live on this planet together maybe we're not perfect beings but we'll keep on trying to make it better I wish to hear your words share your feelings know your thoughts things are different now it'll be harder but you can change you just have to demolish what's there and start over one day life will fill the universe again and Hermes will see this and smile how I do not know but I do know that where there is a will there is a way after all miracles happen every day do they not all right let's not make that mistake again and so I come before you to issue Challenge and offer singular Bliss oh you think so bring the Chisel H finally mastered the desire to kill me have [Applause] [Applause] [Music] you it's more [Music] what of you my mirror born into to this world bestowed name bid to seek out strife and [Music] Adventure some wounds do not he the dead cannot be returned to us but we the living can yet choose another course let us GI them a new Legacy we who yet walk the path should not think too much in the destination when the hour arrives we shall welcome what comes with open arms we too are Miracles each and every one of us born of the warm breath of life that traverses the heavens swirling through eternity was this life a gift or a [Music] burden I understand now the choice you made in death there is life you once SP to preserve the honor of my dear friend it is a blessing that I may now repay that de farewell Warrior of light and thank you for showing me the way there is a path only you can walk and it must not end here not like this did you find [Music] fulfillment you risked your all for us before you came we had never known the beauty of the night sky you do know you're not alone in this don't you forget not the comrades who boarded the ship at your side I [Music] expand your horizon go forth and seek [Music] [Applause] [Music] discovery [Music] yo what's going on everybody thank you so much for watching I hope you enjoyed I got a quick message for you but make sure you stick around until the end cuz the adventure ain't quite over yet I just want to give a quick shout out to the stream community and these folks in particular for the help in filming not only for this video but all the videos I've done in the past and all the videos I'm sure to do in the future definitely wouldn't be here without you this one's for you I really do hope you enjoy and hey if you're looking to be a part of these Shenanigans or you're just looking for a place to hang out come find us on Twitch Link in the description below and uh let me know your favorite Randy moment all right peace [Music] out of Theon check it out might you have a moment to speak f oh yeah [ __ ] are gone bre spring break spring break this is going to be the best spring break ever they're going to be gone the whole [Music] week

Channel: Kev Was Here

Views: 131,715

Keywords: ffxiv, final fantasy xiv, ff14, final fantasy 14, ffxiv funny, ffxiv meme, ffxiv msq, Randy Marsh

Id: nK8dEEm78nM

Length: 44min 13sec (2653 seconds)

Published: Sat Mar 30 2024