r/AITA MY DAD RUINED MY WHOLE FAMILY! - Reddit Stories

would you be the jerk for saying no thanks to planning a baby shower we'll get into that in a bit but first am I the jerk for thinking my girlfriend is a social climber my girlfriend and I have been together for about 8 months and since then there have been multiple occasions where I've ended up feeling frustrated due to this kind of behavior context we work in the same industry so this makes a lot of my meetings and connections desirable for her most recently I had an important meeting with a potential new agent it was my second meeting and he was coming to meet at our house for a check C then we me and the agent planed to go out to dinner my girlfriend came home during the meeting said hello and then pulled up a chair and said I'm so hungry what are you both up to are you going for dinner this threw me a bit I was a bit lost for words and after a bit of awkwardness the agent said we should all go for dinner at the dinner she spoke about herself she exaggerated a few things to look more impressive made it clear she was agentless and would randomly bring up that she did great work today Etc I will say she comes across very lovely and sweet so of course the agent ended up being interested in her when we were leaving he wanted to meet up with her in New York at dinner she said I'm in New York next month despite it not actually being confirmed and then it became awkward as she had to admit the New York trip didn't have dates yet and wasn't 100% when we got back home I just said that something didn't feel right and I didn't expect her to come home and do that she got upset and defensive would say things like I just won't talk to anyone in the future which feels a little manipulative I don't think gop's the jerk here she should have read the room and understood that this was a big thing for op and even if she truly didn't understand that after the fact if op explained it to her I feel like you'd like to see some kind of apologetic Behavior right her going on the oh I just won't talk to anyone then tangent is pretty rough equivalent role 3321 wrote not the jerk dude she's very very manipulative this was planned by her and she has zero remorse it's all about her she did it once and she'll do it again if given the chance also concerning is her ability to lie like it's no big deal not a trait most people would want in their partner also hi I'm Steven and if you guys enjoy getting to decide whether or not all of these people are jerks why not hit those like And subscribe buttons down below that said our next story is am I the jerk for refusing to go to the office for violating a dress code I 15-year-old female am in high school and got dress coded by my teacher during history class the dress code in my school is usually not so enforced it was also a pretty hot day so I wore a pair of shorts the rule in my school is that our fingertips have to go past the length of our pants otherwise it's out of dress code well today I got up to turn in an assignment and my teacher noticed that I was wearing shorts he told me to hold my arms down to my shorts and then basically announced to the whole class that my pants were too short I don't think anyone even noticed what I was wearing until he pointed it out my fingers went past the Hem of my pants by 3 cm it's not like I had anything hanging out the shorts were jean shorts that had no holes in it and were pretty modest as it went halfway down my thighs there were at least three other guys in class wearing Tink tops and sandals which are also against the rules but the teacher didn't seem to notice he told me to go to the office and call my mom for a change of clothes this was at the beginning of class and we have a final coming up soon today was supposed to be a big review lesson and I didn't want to miss it I've also never been sent to the office before so I was really upset I just found it ironic that we were learning about gender biases literally yesterday yet I was being removed from class for being a distraction to the men in the room so I said no I understood that I violated the dress code but seeing as it was the first time it happened it didn't seem fair to remove me from class during such an important lesson it was also really objectifying to be shamed for my clothing choices the teacher and I had a bit of an argument that went on for a couple of minutes and it delayed the class the teacher and some of my classmates are mad that I didn't just go to the office am I the jerk the thing I've always hated about dress code rules that are like your fingers can't go more than 2 in below your shorts people have varying arm length there are some people out there that have some really long arms you mean to tell me that shorts that went basically to mid thigh are just too inappropriate for a high schooler I mean I mean let's be real you can't see anything besides legs and most of the time they're going to be sitting down at a desk so how much of a distraction can it really be I mean I get it you can't have people walking around in booty shorts but it's just stupid to dress code somebody for a perfectly acceptable wardrobe just because it doesn't meet the rules you should feel so ashamed of yourself that you let boys see 4 in above the knee at least it's not Amish levels cover those ankles up Rizzy 24 wrote not the jerk misogyny is Alive and Well file the complaint with the office take it to the school board if you have to find a teacher or a parent or an adult who will support you and make it known to the school adamans that the way you were treated is not okay because it was not okay our next story is am I the jerk for wanting to take my bio kid to Disney and not including my bonus kids I 31 have a kid to with my boyfriend 31 he has previous kids from a previous relationship 8 and N years old I'm the bread winner due to him not being able to keep the good jobs we lost our rental a couple of months back due to his lack of financial responsibility I didn't know he wasn't making payments towards certain bills therefore me paying for everything plus playing catchup became too much during these past couple of months we've been living with his parents and our goal was to pay off our debt well I've caught up on nearly 10,000 on debt while he's been able to only pay off 500 I do give him Grace knowing he doesn't make much money however I know he has no other payments other than his phone and daycare therefore paying a little extra towards debt should not be an issue anyway this summer I really wanted to take a trip out to Disneyland I told him about us going as a whole he agreed well as it gets closer he's now saying we don't need to go it's going to be too hot and too packed the little one won't remember the older kids aren't that into Disney anymore which he tends to do this type of tactics when he realizes he can't financially do it I have no issue doing 50/50 but that's where he won't meet me halfway he rather no one go so my question is would I be the jerk if I decide to make it a trip with just my bio kid and I and him pay his way if he can afford it I hate this situation but I'm a firm believer in not letting my kid lose out on experiences if others aren't willing to do that for them this is why I work so hard so she will never miss out on anything and have everything she wants and needs I mean I don't know how close op is with the8 and nine-year-old kids like I don't even know how long they've been necessarily living together or how serious things are it's not even like actual stepparents at this point right it's just your boyfriend's kids so I can't fault op for taking their kid on a trip to Disney and not bringing your boyfriend and their kids to what would be a much larger bill because well Disney third try is the charm said everybody sucks here we lost our rental a couple of months back due to his lack of financial responsibility if you're not able to keep stable housing and have debt you're not able to afford Disney for anyone right now and kids are just kids don't treat any of them as bonus just kind of happened XX wrote normally I would agree on treating your kids and step kids the same but one he's her boyfriend not husband so I'm not sure if his kids would qualify as her step kids yet and two it's not her job to provide for his kids from a previous relationship it's his and their mom's job agreed on everything else though vacations and expensive Adventures like Disney are an earned bonus not a right if you're living under someone else's roof in debt or have just crawled out of debt or living with and supporting a financially irresponsible partner then you don't need to be going to Disney regardless of your child's age you need to figure out why you're with someone and have a kid with someone who is jobless terrible with money and keeps having kids they can't and won't provide for why are you bailing him out of his own irresponsible choices to teach him to continue not working and blowing the money he had because you will take care of it why are you raising a kid in that environment you need to pay off all of your debts get some healthy savings move into your own place without the boyfriend if you are irresponsible and shortsighted enough to still go to Disney now I hope his parents kick you guys out what a slap in the face for the help they've provided this next story is am I the jerk for telling my sister she was lazy for Banning play dat [Music] [Music] [Music] wants so 12-year-old's solution is to give little sister her way or Nazi her friends and that's bull and I told her so I said a plate is supposed to be an experience for your child not a break for the parent and called her lazy and that it's her job as the parent to teach her 4-year-old boundaries not her 12-year-olds to work it out she said I don't know what I'm talking about because I'm not a parent and I shouldn't judge her am I the jerk because I'm a clueless childfree man is there something I'm missing here I know she's overwhelmed but I feel this is more her job than her 12-year-olds op's absolutely not the jerk and I think they're providing really good advice and I think some parents are all too willing to try to jump behind the ability of saying well you don't have kids you don't understand or even worse just you don't understand what it's like to raise a kid in my house stabby 77 wrote this I've never liked children and for some reason never had a problem with making myself very vocal on that Point even when I was a kid myself when I was young my cousin used to constantly get shunted with watching her mom's friend's daughter every time they would come visit because the adults wanted to chat and smoke and drink without any of the kids around and she was too young to be unsupervised they tried to do that once when I was there have us both watch her and I basically told my mom in absolutely no way shape or form was I watching her kid and letting her follow me around all day she was also a spoiled brat I Nei NE liked nor got along with which made it even worse luckily my mom took one look at my face and knew I wasn't joking I would have left her standing on the front lawn and taken off to the woods to climb a tree or just walk through the forest and she knew it my cousin ended up having to watch her again I don't know if it's growing up in a small town or growing up in lowincome housing that was almost exclusively single mothers with children but it was far too common that anytime parents got together the kids would be told to basically go play because the entire thing was just a reason for the moms to get a break from their kids I honestly couldn't care less when I was young I spend my childhood pretty much in the woods looking for animals but there was no way I was going to allow a tag along especially one young enough that I wouldn't be able to do anything I actually enjoy if you want me out of your face that's fine but don't think that means you can use me as a free labor because you're frustrated by your own children but would rather spend money on smoke and booze than pay for a babysitter for a couple hours the other version of this I saw a lot growing up was older sisters and brothers being shafted with looking after their younger siblings all the time I understand in the past when birth control was not a thing how something like that would be necessary but it actually irritates me to no end when I see people continue to have children they don't have time to take care of because they just thrust the onus onto their older children and effectively usurp their childhoods a lot lot of the girls I know in my child-free groups don't want kids because they feel like they've already had them because they were forced to basically raise their younger siblings it's one thing if your children volunteer or if you offer to pay them and they agree but it's another thing to force them you are only going to build resentment between the two children as well as between the older child and yourself not the jerk she's being selfish because she wants to give herself personal time by taking away someone else else's if she needs time away from her kids she can find another way to do it you don't effectively punish your child for wanting her own age appropriate play time and socialization with their friends this next story is am I the jerk for refusing to call for pizza and telling my daughter if she wants Pizza she can call the place my daughter is 15 and stays home by herself sometimes we have a money fund for these days so she can order some food if she doesn't want to make herself dinner really simple my my daughter has anxiety and doesn't need meds according to her doctors she was on the lowest dose and it was way too much for her really we work on confidence boosting SL counselor yesterday my wife and I were not home my daughter wanted to order some pizza the place she wanted pizza from only does phone calls for orders she texted me and asked me to call the place and make an order I told her no and she can call them herself that money is on the table or she can make herself a sandwich for dinner I came home M and my wife and daughter were ticked I didn't make the call for her my daughter's anxiety made it difficult for her to call my wife is upset I don't help I think both of them are being over the toop I explained that there was food at home she could have ordered from somewhere else or just ate at home they both think I'm jerks and I told her she needs to be able to make a phone call or she is going to run into many roadblocks I also pointed out that not everyone has online ordering now I'm not going to lie I actually do have anxiety sometimes if I have to call a place or put in an order for a place it's definitely not my favorite but I just try to rationalize it this person is working there it's their job and in all reality they don't really care like they're just there to take your order help you out and get on with their day and if you did bump into the rarest situation where somebody is giving you some kind of grief then that place didn't deserve your business anyways is it really going to ruin your day it's an important life skill to have to be able to still pick up a phone call and call someplace not just for pizza but you might have a doctor's visit over the phone you might need to schedule an important thing like a dentist visit or something trying to push your kid into understanding that they need to be able to make that phone call and trying to give them the confidence to do so I don't think is going to make anybody The Jerk cron Lort wrote not the jerk no therapist wor their pay will tell someone with social anxieties to push any required interactions off to their partner or parent this was a teachable moment and a chance to face her fears it will only get worse if she continues to avoid it our next story is am I the jerk for kicking out my wife's friend I 38-year-old male am married to my wife 37-year-old female and we have three kids 12-year-old female 10-year-old male and 9-year-old male my wife has a friend group of like 6 to eight people but her main friend is this one woman I'll call Christie I don't like christe very much she just always says some type of input on everything if I say the fridge is empty for example she'll say there are people who have less don't complain she genuinely just upsets me the Freak off and she needs to shut the heck up sometimes okay so my daughter recently got her first phone since her birthday was a couple days ago when the friend noticed she started opening her big butt mouth on why it's bad parenting to let a 12-year-old have such a costly device while I was sitting on the couch a couple inches away from her and she's talking to me directly I told her she can always leave if she has a problem and she asked me who I'm talking to in my own house so I tell her to take her and her judgments to the door and make sure not to look back she did leave and my wife called me a jerk for what I did and said and left the house to go to altitude with my 99-year-old am I the jerk I don't think Opie's The Jerk here if somebody is in your living room they should not be insulting you to your face over something like this like it's totally fine to have your own opinions on kids having smartphon or whatever but you're really going to sit on somebody's couch and insult their parenting to their face like that unless this person is actually being like abusive or a monster or terrible Opie very much is not the jerk to show them the door our next story is am I the jerk for saying no thanks to planning a baby shower for a cooworker Bambi is having a baby I do not like Bambi I'm not even really friendly with Bambi I am professional if we need to discuss a work thing but overall she's just not my type of person Jessica decided Bambi needs a baby shower mind you four other employees have had babies and Jessica never thought they needed a baby shower Jessica texted me and another person saying we needed a time to meet to plan Bambi's baby shower and I responded with I appreciate you reaching out but I won't be able to participate in planning it I can help view Department calendars and come up with a good date and would be happy to help with tear down and clean up the day of Jessica is not pleased my boss doesn't care and a few friends think I just need to suck it up I might be the jerk because it wouldn't hurt me to help plan but I don't want to so I chose to say no am I the jerk op is absolutely not the jerk saying no you're not interested to helping plan a baby shower for a coworker should always be a totally acceptable thing unless like you're their best friend in the entire world and even then if you didn't actually want to it's still not not your obligation I am Irene wrote absolutely not the jerk just because someone asks you doesn't mean you have to do it they want and your response was beautiful you offered help that you were willing to give apparently Jessica wants you to be her hands and feet for everything it was Jessica's idea she can accept the help you've offered and fill in the rest if she feels it's so necessary to have the party you give only what you want to give everything outside of that is a no Jessica is just upset because she couldn't steamroll you into doing everything this next story is am I the jerk for refusing to use the take me home outfit my father's girlfriend bought for my daughter I'm pregnant with my second child a girl due next month when my older son was born my husband and I got him a take me home outfit to leave the hospital in choosing it became a very special memory for us and we decided we'd do the same with whatever future children we had last month my father's girlfriend of 2 years I'll call her Betty presented me with a onesie for my daughter she specifically said that she wanted me to use it as a take me home outfit Betty had expressed the desire to buy that outfit three times since I'd announced my pregnancy on all of those occasions I explained that me and my husband wanted to pick it and buy it ourselves and that choosing the First clothes our daughter would wear at home meant a lot to us both when Betty gave me the onesie she jokingly said she was saving us the effort I sincerely thaned Betty but told her my husband and I still wanted to pick the take me home outfit ourselves I don't think she took it seriously as her only reply was that we wouldn't find anything cuter I'll be honest I really don't like the outfit she bought but even if I did I wouldn't use it as the take me home my husband and I were really looking forward to getting it ourselves and even our son wanted to help us choose his sister's special clothes a little under 2 weeks ago we finally picked the outfit it's a light yellow one that we fell in love love with my father and Betty came over for lunch on Saturday before they left my son excitedly showed them the outfit when Betty asked about the one she'd gifted me I reminded her that we'd wanted to choose the babies take me home ourselves the onesy she got me will be kept with the rest of my daughter's clothes she didn't say anything my father called me the next day to tell me I'd made Betty very upset with my attitude he said that she put a lot of care into the outfit she'd picked and it was petty and in considerate of me to dismiss her generosity pretty much everyone that knows about this is on my side but I'd be lying if I said I didn't have my doubts I also recently found out the onesie Betty bought was very expensive so maybe that's what's making me doubt myself that said I did Express how much this meant to me and my husband and I told her not to buy the outfit several times am I the jerk Opie's clearly not the jerk in this situation it's not quite to the same degree but it reminds me me a lot of stories I've read about mother-in-laws or relatives that want to try to pick the name and try to push a certain name over letting the parent pick the name themselves admittedly I haven't really heard of the concept of a special take me home outfit but if it means a lot to the parents and they want to pick that is absolutely their right and it should be respected especially when they make it so well known mother tradition 774 wrote not the jerk since the outfit she bought was expensive and it's existence is causing drama I would give it back to your dad's girlfriend maybe she can return it for a full refund or at least store credit don't get me wrong you're under no obligation to return it I just feel that a gift that's being held over your head like this isn't a gift worth keeping this next story is am I the jerk for making it clear that this is my kid too and the baby blanket is staying even if it doesn't match their theme of the nursery I am very very frustrated and annoyed some backstory my late mom used to make baby blankets for any new members of the family I'm the youngest of a family of four and my mom has passed away I thought that I would never get a blanket for our children since my mom is dead my dad gave me a baby blanket he made apparently he started to learn how to make them when Mom was diagnosed I can't even explain how happy I was when I saw it it is a perfectly good blanket even if it is a bit ugly I want to make it clear that it functions perfectly and it isn't a hazard at all all it's just clear that it was his first time really making it and his color choice is unique it's pink blue and green striped I personally love it and put it in the nursery for when our child is born my wife moved it and it wasn't even in the room anymore I asked why and she told me she doesn't want it there I told her it's for our kid and want to place it back on the nursery she told me no and this started an argument she eventually admitted that she hates it since it doesn't match the nursery theme at all more argument and I told her it's my kid too that she is awful for not allowing a blanket made by the child's grandparents since it didn't match her theme she called me a jerk and she left for the day I just can't blame op here I think op is definitely not the jerk like I get it she probably thinks it's absolutely hideous but I feel like it's almost heartless to not recognize the meaning and the intent behind it and also the fact that it's a loving gift from the child's grandparents regardless of extra meaning and not just that but it also does mean a lot to op too and op gets to have a say in the nursery why does the mom get to decide the entire Nursery theme or what doesn't go in there own kangaroo 6931 wrote so far not the jerk it's off the scale I'm almost in tears by this story your father learned to do a skill from scratch to be able to keep up the memory and tradition of his late wife so what it's not perfect so what it doesn't match the theme that is an incredible effort and thought with a huge amount of meaning behind it get that blanket back in there and give your dad a huge hug and thanks and tell your wife that freaker theme this blanket stays your wife is being completely thoughtless to not see how much this means to both you and your father our next story is am I the jerk for telling my parents friends that my dad is the reason we don't see my mom's oldest daughter quick background to start my mom was married twice she had a daughter Neeve with her first husband he died when Neeve was 6 or seven years old my mom's first husband's death was already tragic and traumatic for Neeve but what was worse was he died after leaving her school in the middle of the day to get back to work her class had an activity hour for parents to join in and Neeve and her dad made some kind of frame for a photo of them he was dead 5 minutes after he left the school there was an accident NE treasured that photo and the frame my mom at my dad a year later and they got Married 2 years after that so Neeve would have been eight or nine when NE was 14 she and my dad were arguing I was too young to remember but I heard this story from my grandparents NE and my dad would argue about my dad being ne's stepdad and my dad wanted her to accept him into the role of a real father figure but Neeve didn't want that my dad would get so frustrated over it and Neeve would too she wanted my dad to leave her alone and then one day it became a bigger fight than normal because NE told someone she only lived with one parent and my dad was hurt or whatever it got crazy intense between them and then my dad did the worst thing he could ever do he threw the frame NE and her dad made the last thing she did with him before he died Into the Fire there was a photo of NE and her dad in there too from that moment on Neeve wanted nothing to do with us I don't really remember Neeve well I was only like five when I saw her last I remember how much she despised my dad and knowing why I totally get it she never forgave mom for not divorcing dad on the spot either Neeve has not been in our lives since she was 17ish she moved out of state to be with her paternal aunt and before that for like a year she lived with our shared grandparents but she didn't want to be around my parents at all I only remember seeing her one time when I was five and I'm almost 17 now so yeah don't really remember her but knowing what went down it doesn't surprise me and I don't blame Neeve my parents had some friends over mostly new friends but some old ones too and at some point NE came up in conversation and my parents told her friends that NE had become such a troubled person and dad brought up how she disowned everyone and had wished for him to Die the last time she saw us they were really making NE sound terrible so I told them the reason NE hated us all and the reason she wasn't around is because Dad burned up the last thing she ever made with her dad something she probably had a lot of mixed emotions tied up in so it was his fault not nees my parents were furious with me for saying all that to their friends they told me it was not my place and I humiliated my dad am I the jerk Opie's definitely not the jerk they absolutely defended Neeve in a place where Neeve couldn't defend themselves it's not fair for them to try to slander Neeve and make all these people believe that they're just some awful spiteful person for no good reason although to be fair if there's a situation where both of these parents come over and say yeah the step kid was just so awful and cut us all off and moved out you really need to have like an open mind and critically think there might be a very good reason for why they acted that way most people don't do that without having a pretty good reason a whiskey kitten wrote not the jerk your parents are though your dad sounds like a selfish monster and your mom totally failed her daughter it doesn't surprise me they'd want to rewrite history and shift blame onto her and I'd say it is your place their actions also robbed you of a relationship with your sister Bor of B said not the jerk way to go op you stood up for what was right without thinking of the consequences and that takes courage your dad did something that is Despicable and unforgivable and Neeve is 100% in the right to cut him and your mom out of her life your mom is the bigger jerk since she stood by silently while your dad humiliated and hurt your sister her daughter in the worst possible manner as a way for you and Ne to get some closure maybe you can try and find ways to reach out to her and let her know that she made the right decision and that you support her but with that being said that's all the time we have for today now if you want to hear another crazy am I the jerk here story check out that video on the left or if you missed my latest video check out that video on the right that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

Channel: Storytime

Views: 10,382

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Id: Ad8dVnzG5cw

Length: 29min 54sec (1794 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 29 2024