Rageaholic Cinema: PUNISHER WAR ZONE (R.I.P. Ray Stevenson)

oh for [ __ ] sake [Music] all right [Music] foreign Marvel Knights the comic imprint turned cinematic experiment launched by the very first and forgotten Marvel Studios film Punisher war zone one which a huge spandex soap operas for gritty Urban realism and what could be a more relatable realistic opening to a grounded Urban Crime Caper than Frank Castle suspended by his shins from a chandelier spitting harder than a CNN Newsroom as he gives an entire room a meatball Chomp and mafioso as a nine mil [ __ ] with dueling MP5 [ __ ] gays [Music] The Punisher goes off like Randy Johnson in an Aviary snapping slag next snap and skulls oh did I mention any knife punches of prick's head off because yeah he's sure you can set [ __ ] right off his shoulders hey there this is good old Jr Jim Ross bringing you the Bud Light instead replay oh boy that's gotta hurt if you as a red-blooded American male fail to reach full [ __ ] mast after this Five Alarm wapa cost give my best to your boyfriend for the first and final time in this film franchise we actually open on The Punisher punishing no overwrought origin story no pensively pausing to Naval gays about the ethical necessity of vigilantism a bloodbath from beginning to butt [ __ ] end the most the mob can muster is a solitary shot into his bulletproof vest which ends about as well as you would expect a limestone hat and a six foot [ __ ] drop thank you by the time the goddamn gray matter settles Castle walks away with a lightly soiled attack vest and a broken nose oh I'm not pausing for dramatic effect that's quite literally all the damage they do Butterbean took more battle damage against Bart gun that is until he comes into contact with New York's fattest police brief Hands Held above its brain box and effectively helpless all seems well and truly lost that is until he remembers this is the same NYPD that allowed antifa to seize City Hall for a month in [ __ ] change listen Billy Rosati's getting away silver Rover you might want to head down to the docks first helpful New York cops uh Punisher war zone my personal favorite fantasy film yes we all get dressed up and head out to the mobster's ball we learn that while we may have the one true Punisher on tap someone sprang for the fake Garrett from teeth let's just all calm down here okay it's not how much you steal it's once you steal and how you steal it you know it's just um take it easy man okay thank you look what has happened I don't get involved in politics in order to buy some botulism to sell to the religion of Peace Jimmy McNulty tries to make a withdrawal but unfortunately for him foe Garrett happens to be a [ __ ] fed it's he got me some money running a little low boss you just picked up 200k from a Luciano construction site I had it laundered through the Pussycat Lounge like you told me remember we'll bring it back if you have to ask you can't afford it Etsy can't find your funds last you saw almost in the hands of a fad [ __ ] if you checked the Ukraine which is apropos of what passes for a plot as they're attempting a traffic said Pinko pox particles to the filthy vodka swilling ruskies either way I'm sure Garrett's got it all in hand between picking out life insurance policies and announcing his immortality I'm certain FBI guy has a beautiful bullet-free existence ahead of it that didn't quite go according to plan oh [ __ ] what the [ __ ] was that age it down repeat Asia down [ __ ] I'll check it out the Paul Giamatti value model and the bass is from Flock of Seagulls go off in search of gunshot wounds and sure as [ __ ] they [ __ ] find them and hey you know what comic films can never get anywhere near enough of open catwalks conveniently extending over an industrial Death Pit foreign [Music] depository subsumed by a jagged razor murder machine The Punisher looming above an advantage with the controls my friends I guess you could say his ass is glass terrible oh hush up Leo that woman would go on to be speaker of the house with twice as many open wine bottles but when Flock of Seagulls at last opens fire with Frank's ammo Reserves at post pandemic levels it's time for Frank to run run so far away yay but when he paused the Fallen fed for a firearm like a Suburban hipster pretending to understand the drug war he finds Only The Wire thank you oh no I often member of a murderous massively corrupt three-letter agency guess I'm only getting eight hours sleep tonight the glowies go in just in time to break out the gore mops and fish The Frayed flesh ribbons that were once Jimmy McNulty out of the murder pit enter agent black dude our compulsory ration of institutional outrage in human [ __ ] form kick it in the door of New York's flabbiest he puts them all on notice we have a certain way of doing things around here special Asian booties like letting Mass murderers Run free ah if only jigsaw choked out a psychopath in a Subway saving at least one life sorry Black Dynamite if you want to arrest a perp in New York you'll have to plant a moga hat and a hood on them like anyone the [ __ ] else but to be fair the cops are far too busy doing nothing about terrorism to notice your buddies from the bureau told me the city is under some kind of Terror threat nine New Yorkers are a bit sensitive about that if you know what I mean 11. with all due respect captain it's [ __ ] what if it had been your man lying there huh in a pool of his own blood you Krispy Kreme [ __ ] would be beating down every door in this city easy there Elmer fed just pretend they were killed by a Clinton the solution to your is to banish our boy to the basement uh Punisher task force Welcome to The Punisher task force I'm detective Martin's hope what the hell kind of name is soap right take a look at some of the Case Files get a lay of the land which drawer what the alleged Punisher murders which drawer oh sweet summer Child Try which [ __ ] building all of them and that's just the Lower East Side meanwhile it is an underground volcano layer The Punisher utters his first line of dialogue at 26 minutes even [ __ ] you wanted to know why this is the most comic perfect depiction of the Punisher choke on your [ __ ] answer meanwhile Newman evidently heard his Hideout was in a Subway and stopped in for a sandwich you ever heard a jihadiblogger.com I'm posing as a one-armed Mojave Warrior who took a crap in a cave next to bin Laden I think I can score you a couple of rocket launchers what do you want Frank Frank did you not hear the part about the rocket launchers if I may momentarily shelve the fat and [ __ ] dick jokes as much as I may worship Ray Stevenson in the role of the Punisher not nearly enough attention is paid to Wayne Knight who absolutely embodies microchip and Away the beanie bedecked hipster from the Netflix Punisher show massively [ __ ] failed to replicate every scene he waddles the [ __ ] into is steeped in sincere concern for his sociopathic companion such that perhaps more than any other incarnation of the character he emphasizes the co-dependent crime-fighting relationship betwixt the two theirs is more than a mere monetary relationship where he nabs a sack of drug lord lewd in exchange for some 12 gauge goodies and speaking the [ __ ] of which brought you some treats it's gun show season in Virginia no background checks no problems I [ __ ] up micro look I know this thing with the FED is eating you up inside but that doesn't mean you pack up your tent we all make mistakes Frank yours was not killing the FED in the first [ __ ] scene but the baddies are not idle for while Frank kicks the [ __ ] back in the Archie Bunker recliner the mafiosos are discussing their recent infiltration by the feds with a side of super villain origin story your facial muscles bone structure everything destroyed square inch of skin left intact Janice Dickinson super villain origin story just take it off already okay let's do this polymers alloy plates in just a little bit of horse hide a little bit of what she's single fellas but while the moocs Mumble back and forth in the hallway what's the matter with you can't [ __ ] control yourself you know how sensitive he is about us seen anything so just shut the [ __ ] up but now that Punisher turned pretty boys T-Zone into a disaster Zone he yucks it up with his stoolies in the car and struggles to formulate an appropriate new title for himself [ __ ] if only there were some manner of facial scar related mobster nickname of some sort we're gonna get rid of Frank Castle he took out like 30 of us I mean how are we going to kill him before he'll kill us looney bin Jim no his name is James it's a good idea really it is don't mind him sorry about that Billy Billy is dead from now on you call me jigsaw would you like that line reading honey glazed or hickory smoked but before he can get bring his batshit brother from a loony bin and if I've learned one thing from Decades of reading Grim dark 90s Comics it's that in spite of Rapid advancements in the field of mental health there remain an alarming number of Victorian era asylums with Decor consisting exclusively of concrete [ __ ] gargoyles and cracked security procedures not seen since the [ __ ] game awards to nominate this award to my reformed Orthodox read by Bill Clinton and so they spring him and every other patient in the complex by executing their masterful complicated plan of walking in the front [ __ ] door and taking him the January 6th method if you will and cut these off now I'll take care of this guy oh no brother that's so's mine did you know kidneys and applesauce are a delicacy in Sweden and Sweden and chipotle and speaking of Chipotle who likes raw meat stuff might come in handy or four well uh in case he starts you know not feeling so good oh but he's doing just great it's [ __ ] [ __ ] on the case of the conscience Frank stops by the home of the Widow he recently created to drop off a [ __ ] pile of cash and as we all know if there's anything a trophy wife hates it's a great big bag of [ __ ] money step the [ __ ] away from my little girl go inside Grace what's this something to help out no no you don't get to do that for your daughter who punishes you a Marvel editorial I believe he taught you how to shoot took you out to the range showed you what to do this is where you do it Greece don't pull I can't find my red pen come on do me a personality but what is a super villain without his super villain murder Fortress and so jigsaw and the flunky bunch commandira conveniently vacant skyscraper for an impromptu meeting but when McNulty catches his reflection in a mirror it's time for some disturbingly intimate brotherly love just when I think I'm okay and see my reflection somewhere I look horrible oh brother nothing could be more horrible than your accent but if New Yorkers are good at anything it's Wrecking skyscrapers and so he and his painfully obvious stunt double shatter every reflective surface in the building with their [ __ ] face then the rescues show up and the bad accents get plenty of company we don't talk vampire it's Russian Village my man is concerned why because you're hosting yet another mobster meeting under a low-hanging Chandelier if Punisher can do this to your face what might he do to our deal that depends is that before or after the body bag zip shut and speaking of body bags who wants wine today's recommendation is a dry Pinot jugular a fruity bouquet with the slightest hints of homicide thank you second close negotiations meanwhile an arms deal goes down just outside micro's micro pad while the filmmakers flash the first of about 50 Dirty Harry references well this is the 44 Magnum Auto mag that holds a 300 grain cartridge and it properly used it can remove the fingerprints sadly if properly used it'll only malfunction every fourth [ __ ] shot how am I gonna shoot fast if you jam come on dirty hair you may want to get a different gun this isn't it's not the best The Punisher tails the [ __ ] bag to Newman's apartment and decides to proper some New York hospitality foreign tattoos made you an arms dealer Hot Topic would be goddamn gun broker from there we're introduced to the 46th president of the United States how's she doing as long as she's got her cooking shows she's good it's the only thing she notices it's fine I'll be ship shape and time for the debates but before he can shove any adrenochrome casserole down her gullet Frank Castle goes from Punisher to quitter I just came around to tell you that I'm going out of town for a while I never thought of the Punisher you know taking a long weekend I'm not planning on coming back are you aware that Billy Rosati survived let the cops take care of him this is where the Punisher comes in this is why I believe in you because that's what's gonna happen Thor about three entire seconds pull a couple of Berettas for what three two one of course that is the last one give or take a hundred but there's just one small catch the Punisher murdered absolutely anyone who knows where jigsaw is fortunately for Frank there's a new gang in town as Speedy Gonzalez here explains in an accent that's a hate crime in 14 [ __ ] States leader was black dreadlocks some kind of acrobatic stuff over the roofs that's McGinty and his Urban free flow gang he's on a constant meth high Hunter Biden you heard it correct folks The Punisher is about to pound parkour crackheads and don't worry no matter how much you hate pointless parkour elements being wedged into every solitary game title in 20 years Frank Castle hates it 50 times more intensely oh but don't worry he'll replace it with plenty of RPG elements rocket launcher well the sky Reigns bad weed and Bob Marley albums The Punisher does the one thing he's never been allowed to do on Netflix [ __ ] punish thank you The Punisher does the one thing he's never been allowed to do on Netflix [ __ ] we were Partners in Narcotics fortunately most of the bow we confiscated ended up in my nose Internal Affairs tried to get Nikki right me out he wouldn't so they send him Undercover he's dead because of me unfortunately for Frankie to happen to drop down the same alley the only two carbon-based life forms on The Punisher task force happened to be traveling down and after a brief battle which he wins might I add he's somehow still ends up arrested just in time for Jiggy Smalls to make the moves on the dead feds [ __ ] buddy turns out when you siphon shitloads of marked cash from a gaggle against those you paint a Target on your back the size of movie Bob's bald spot [Music] hello Mrs donatelli oh will you be calling yourself Miss from now on what do you want from us I'm looking for my money we don't have it I swear to God when my [ __ ] money you're gonna give me more money fortunately for the popos Paramore Punisher tips off agent asshat and they head to the Boppity boopity residence for a wellness check all the same but when the FED who [ __ ] arrested him actually arrives on scene he finds decidedly little wellness and a Smith and Wesson welcome how you doing fortunately for Frank the officer was left to watch over him it's not only the head of the Punisher task force he's also the president of his fan club let me out you know Frank you know throwing you a tip now and against one thing password of the crime database Etc but letting you go so fine Flock of Seagulls goes to check out a suspiciously punisher-like noise but elects to powder his nose from the inside instead and you know what I love about Ray Stevenson Punisher the believability and the believability sightings rated very high his combat prowess characterized by tactical comprehension of firearms on a masterful application of CQC rather than cartoonish acts of superhuman strength take for example punching clean through a human [ __ ] face opportunity officer knows candy turns the tables on the mafioso yet as he attempts to affect an arrest The Punisher is ready for the interview unfortunately for the mob blob he'll be conducting said interview with Kurt Cobain's microphone shotgun got it Castle while Punisher slips out the back with the wife and kid the cocaine coupos console themselves by capturing jigsaw and his batshit bro you might explain it to me how a handcuffed criminal escapes custody from the back of your locked car I was one of Epstein's prison guards unfortunately for them they have him in custody for all of 18 seconds before the feds pull [ __ ] rank how hard are the FBI gonna go after jigsaw you inquire put it this way every major mob lord of the past 50 [ __ ] years now has a YouTube channel what do you think you tell me what you know if it's any good I recommend life without parole you're gonna give me and my brother here the immunity and the money all you're gonna have to explain but whoa [ __ ] Blitzer why you had the lead on the thing that killed half the [ __ ] City and you didn't do a goddamn thing about it [Music] happy [Music] [ __ ] dead man hey Jamila it's a green I hope the guy he finds you in the game you deserve the FBI covering for criminals using Russians as Fall Guys now I've seen absolutely everything The Punisher goes Roman for Romans leaving the lady of the house in the tender care of Carlos but if the Border crisis has taught us anything at all it's that some nationalities are naturally better at evading security than providing it oh and how are you today my friend run get out of here I asked you a question no come on that's just cheesy and crass guess I'll have to ask it again meanwhile Punisher goes to check in on micros Memaw and I don't know what today's cooking show recipe was but I'm certain it was mind-blowing you won't be attending that hat convention in July wife and kid kidnapped microchip see above an army of ethnic stereotypes armed to the gills and lying and wait for the Punisher in a piss stinking smack House Hotel [ __ ] you better believe it but as anyone who's ever used Tinder knows traps can go both ways so what's the plan I'm going in to get them you call that a plan it's all I've made multiple disparate ethnic groups crammed ass to elbow in an urban [ __ ] box and armed to the gold-plated teeth now if I remember my college diversity lectures this will turn out just fine foreign s for all the hype for all the hacky video essays about how dread and the raid invented the cramped Kick-Ass Corridor climax three years before the raid and four years before goddamn dread came the Cinematic Slaughter you are about to witness my friends cling dearly to your dicks oh yeah an arming [ __ ] on one side a violent vigilante on the other this brings us to rule of rageaholic Cinema number 35 always Endeavor to enter with a bang grenade [Music] thank you with Castle kicking ass and taking hyphenated names below the Mobsters on the next floor take a more scientific approach holding up in one room revolvers drawn preparing to pounce from Ambush unfortunately for them the punisher's periodic table needs only one element surprise super grenade but with all that [ __ ] bag slaying and operating it's soon time for punisher to stop popping heads and hit the head unfortunately for our eternally scowling hero in the adjoining stall is looney bin Jim and his [ __ ] strength it starts out as a fairly even UFC fight until the movie remembers Ray Stevenson is 6'3 and LBJ is four foot [ __ ] all at which point it becomes a CM Punk UFC fight oh [Music] bravely ran away away Frank follows him to a Roman bath so jigsaw can play pick the murder victim while the director plays hide the homo erotic subtext game what do you say you shoot one of these two I'll let the other one go free mama or micro micro or mama who to kill who to kill who to hell why pretend we all know Fatty's [ __ ] micro three you're nothing more painless than a 45 to the forebrain with this gadget guy God and jigsaw wasting two shots on his tactical Kevlar Frank Castle proceeds to go full [ __ ] Punisher there is more actual punishment in this single scene than in two separate seasons and half of a daredevil [ __ ] Netflix show he beats this bastard like an Asian on a United Airlines flight pounding this prick from Pillar To Post but this simply would not be rageaholic Cinema without a weapons grade one-liner and if anyone knows weapons it's the [ __ ] Punisher let me put you out of my misery this is just the beginning Punisher war zone is a murderous Masterpiece an impossibly underrated early entry in the Marvel Studios Pantheon and a film we've intended to cover on rageaholic Cinema since this Channel's Inception and hopefully now you know exactly why God speed into the Hereafter Mr Stevenson the normies may see you as volstog or Titus Polo but true aficionados know the punishers Phil mcov wouldn't be one tenth is tasty without Warzone rest in peace while your enemies Rest In Pieces big man I'm razor fist God [ __ ] speed [Music] [Music] break it away [Music] [Music] Ray Stevens I can't talk enough about the guy the guy's fantastic we started shooting and I've been around Firearms my entire life and it took me a while to learn and to get good at it Ray picks the damn weapon up and immediately starts putting rounds into the paper targets we had set up and all of his shots were where they needed to be and I'm like well we can skip all the basics we can just move right to the play time

Channel: The Rageaholic

Views: 115,993

Keywords: RazörFist, The Rageaholic, The Punisher, 80s Action Movies, Action Movie Review, Rageaholic Cinema, Punisher: War Zone, Ray Stevenson, Action Film, Marvel Knights

Id: UzUkYZham2w

Length: 29min 39sec (1779 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 15 2023