Pro Tip: Use Rubber Bands to Cosplay as Thanos

a tick that makes you allergic to meat is spreading a single bite can reprogram your immune system the vegans have launched their first attack jeff bizos realizing that he can change his gender and become the richest woman in the world then he marries elon musk divorces him gets half of his money changes gender again and boom he's the richest man in the world i'm screenshotting this to a rule 34 artist i love how pikachu is so happy he has the power to literally kill everyone in the hot spring scientists say that if a giant asteroid hadn't killed off all the dinosaurs intelligent dinosauroids might have evolved in humanity's place imagine a velociraptor opening an only fan's account norway is opening a whale watching museum in the shape of a whale finn a place to observe whales in my country it's called mcdonald's nurses show triplets to the father who passes out with excitement photo from 1946 when ultrasound did not exist he went to buy cigarettes so fast he forgot his body pov you became friends with another kid you never saw again crawling through a tube and run into another kid hey which way is the exit oh i don't know i never made it out kids ghost vanishes in front of you being the only pro axe in my family i'm surrounded by idiots don't worry i don't suspect they will be around for too long over a period of 200 years three ships perished at the same location of the coast of wales on the same day december 5th and all three had only one survivor the three survivors all had the same name who williams who williams anybody want to come on a cruise with me nothing is scarier than disney world in the 1940s maybe germany in the 1940s i know amazon drivers be like damn this house again i work on an ambulance the thought is the same trump will be the first president in 150 years to not attend his successes inauguration to his defense jfk had other things running through his mind at the time using mind control to drive a car imagine a kid jumps on the road and you go oh she's a kid and the car goes even faster my university is burning 20 minutes into new year [Music] c 2021 is already getting better a bar of iron costs five dollars made into horseshoes it's worth is twelve dollars made into needles it's worth is three thousand five hundred dollars made into balance springs for watches its worth is three hundred thousand dollars your own value is determined also by what you are able to make of yourself tearing yourself apart and selling bits to as many people as possible is the key to wealth got it if i lock someone in a fridge will they die of hypothermia or suffocation suffocation first depending on the type of fridge and cooling system what about if you lock them in a freezer most of the time the air system won't be hooked up to a proper vent and they will suffocate first freeza i haven't tested bully you're gay kid i thought we were keeping our relationship a secret the class how to get murdered by a bully just moan when he hits you dear santa i want a baby brother for christmas love sarah could be worse santa could go in personally greg will not stop referring to his testicles as greg stickles how do i discourage him from this behavior greg has been muted weird breakfast cravings go math the problem is we start our day on cell phones not on our knees i'm not sucking the first thing in the morning america is back syrian children oh god hahaha this had me dying you must be from syria guy pulls out sign on gopher's kiss cam my sister guy can't she's my sister camera i incest my mom thought this was a stain on my hoodie probably used to white stains on your hoodies first time growing and harvesting broccoli but why so black edit oh frick my life the broccoli i meant sorry mate what would be the coolest way to die okay so this is my suicide plan strap a bunch of balloons to a football helmet i'm wearing put a garrett around my neck and jump out of a skyscraper decapitating me cleanly and allowing my head to float away preferably to a nearby school or park to be found by some poor kid my a-hole is so sore from last night's indian what was his name this is so wholesome all the male gamers a girl gamer who said something in voice chat bro i'm a male with a high pitched voice and people have literally asked if they can freak me napoleon was buried without his beam napoleon boner apart what stopped you from killing yourself i called the suicide emergency hotline and no one picked up i thought it was so ironic and hilarious that it made me laugh and laugh and temporarily not think of suicide you get sent back to 9 10 2001 to prevent the attack on 9 11 you have no proof of what's going to happen how will you prevent the attack get naked and very greasy and run around the building screaming about the attacks an hour before it does not stop it but catching a greased up guy is super hard and all the conspiracy theories will also feature a greased up naked guy who warned everyone and got away please why does it look like my dog has butt cheeks i'm wheezing i'm trying to catch a squirrel but i'm dummy thick and the clap of my ass cheeks keeps alerting it what is this wrong answers only kurt cobain's toothbrush einstein calculating the radius of curvature of that ass it was his cousin or aunt theory of relativity british urgently wad the blood of irish people nhs say it is vital that irish people in britain step forward to donate blood allieds not again sperm cost is skyrocketing your balls are a gold mine my socks net worth is higher than elons being pregnant you technically have two hearts inside of you this makes you a time lord if you're pregnant with twin boys you technically have 2ds inside of you this makes you a popular category on certain websites having shreks outside sounds pretty adventurous but what if a bug crawl up yay hole then what you gon do threesome stop guys joining the military is the male equivalent of frick this shoes i'm gonna be a stripper yeah but one is a noble career which takes a lot of bravery and courage and the other is the military i've gotten so good at among us i found out my girl is cheating where were you last night i was with dylan and sarah we were at that's crazy cause sarah called me and asked where you were which means you were alone with dylan again wait i can explain i'm sorry baby we didn't even do much sabotage hero 2 with your bare hands coincidence or not if a to z equals 1 to 26 then knowledge equals 96 hard work equals 98 both are important but full just short of 100 but attitude equals 100 percent gay sonic 4 gives you 152 percent just saying pro tip use rubber bands to cost players fairness and next year as captain hook how to stop gay marriage show them a pic of me and they turn straight lol truth [Music] they turn straight all right straight into oncoming traffic what if you had to have shreks every day during pregnancy to keep building the baby with the same man this is a great question perhaps if you mix it up you can combine jeans like a build-a-bear my sister is about to have a baby and my brother showed up to the hospital in a suit because first impressions matter he looks like he is taking part in a game show who's the father confuse your doctor by putting on rubber gloves at the same time he does oh wait this is my prostate exam is it rude to kill yourself in the middle of class you have to raise your hand and ask first you might need a whole pass for that you should have killed yourself between classes if i'll let you kill yourself now everyone will want to kill themselves excuse me teacher can i kill myself i don't know can you yes to make a sword out of the blood of your enemies you will have to kill 359 people to get enough iron from their blood to make a long sword or just keep one person in a vegetative state so you can continuously drain blood from one person and then stab them with the sword so they are killed by their own blood get a person with aids for extra damage peter offers replacement sayings for the anti-animal language in daily conversations thanks peter for showing us there is more than one way to skin a cat man perfects kfc recipe at home after trying for 18 months get this man a kfc console impressed with himself the man eagerly bites into the still hot drumstick i've done it i really did it i figured out the recipe he thinks to himself gleefully as the grease runs over his chin he is blissfully unaware of the man in a crisp white suit lying in the blazing heat on the roof of the opposite building across the street as this man sets the focus of the scope on his rifle and compensates for the windy whispers you have licked your last finger pulling the trigger is ryan reynolds meme you punch a couple hundred of orphans and all of a sudden you're mean i mean what are they gonna do tell their parents flight attendant is there a doctor on board dad nudging me that should have been you me not now dad dad not asking for a graphic designer to help are they me dad there's a medical emergency happening right now dad why don't you save him as a pdf and see if that helps funny the police told me my dad is a pdf file too chameleons are fun course they'll grab anything you give them unzips pants this shadow is permanently etched on the steps of hiroshima following the nuclear explosion photobomb a shark could swim faster than me but i could probably run faster than a shark so in a triathlon it would all come down to who is the better cyclist are we talking about an african shark or a european one how can there be an african shark if they got no water remember when you bury a body cover it with endangered plants so it is illegal to dig it up you know what's even better eat the body source wolf children the zoo is a pretty safe place to fart she's my pants in the gift shop haha damn elephants you see a nuclear bomb in the sky coming real fast what you do run under it and present my gaping a hole to nuclear daddy this is why god has left us let's harm present and future kids at the same time i'm gonna hope that's just a beer belly pretty sure it's more of a d belly how it started how it's going and so a truck driver is born couldn't help but notice your bulge from across the floor this makes me want to play russian roulette with a fully loaded grenade launcher oh no my son is a one punch man fan no dad i have cancer can what stop speaking chinese you freaking otaku he is one month man women who went from a low shrek's drive to a high shrek's drive what happened i hid my 40s and oh my god looking at my wife any minute now i'm looking at this guy's wife also north carolina assisted living facility workers accused of running dementia resident fight club can't talk about fight club if you don't remember fight club just for consideration mad max was set in 2021 is it socially acceptable to dress like this straight away or do we give it a few weeks this is happening every year in amsterdam they call it the gay parade why is my church closed and the strip clubs are open the church of satan progress strip clubs no touching churches don't have a great track record for that tim your extra wet tonight how turns on the lights the weekend no one can tell it's a gun a folding gun i gave mike at the wrong lunch box when you play simon says with your uncle and he says simon says don't blink and then he starts freaking the cat why would i want to blink when your balls deepen or alabama girl and she says you freak better than my uncle do not compare me to my father she then looks you dead in the eye and says i'm sorry dad damn i'm kinda tired of hearing she's from america will non-americans please finally do something interesting to distract us ahem germany it's been almost a century girl shoots self with nerf gun she didn't cry louder since it hurt she cried louder since she wasn't dead psychologists the brain learns fastest when closest to death my mother making sure i get an a that's why usa has school shootings they just want better results in tests from their students caillou borrows his disabled friends towel but decides to keep it because what the frick is she going to do about it chase him she didn't stand up for herself that's why she lost her towel fresh buns just wait until they come out with a milkshake advertisement look how dark these are i like my men like i like my grapes haha good one 25 at a time okay wow i like my grapes like my woman squeezed and in a barrel for 50 years me jazzy purse she had some corneal ulcers and had two her both eyes removed because she originally has no fur you can clearly see her eye sockets resulting in a gorgeous spook of a scully cat put a finger in both of its eyes and its mouth then send it down the bowling lane here take this and you sit wisely jesus last words before he died on the cross this crucifixion was sponsored by raid shadow legends when your girlfriend invites you over to smash at 1am clobbering time when her mother answers the door and asks why you're here me lady tis the clobbering hour care to join breaking news at 11 depressed pigeon mrs shizzing on people me too buddy me too i can't believe we used to go to bowling alleys place our fingers in those three holes where everyone's fingers had been then proceed to eat chips wild wild times where i come from they are called nightclubs there was a seal at my dad's work today i'm gonna lose my mind okay so where does your dad work he's a butcher today i learned if you grind a marine sponge through a savinta salt water it'll reorganize itself back into a sponge it's the only animal that we know of that can do that how many animals have we done this too we should thank god superpowers ain't real what if somebody teleported their nut inside you ain't that how jesus was born lmao enough girl in my class makes fun of the kid in a wheelchair also her i hope you see this lily you human garbage break her legs to let her feel the same in bed with wife she climbs on top she says it's over i have the high ground then you cross sabres would you rather have 30 million dollars or 30 million loyal friends 30 million loyal friends and ask them all for a dollar i would ask them all five dollars or ask a dollar a month from everyone you're describing only fans my sister proposed to her girlfriend today and look at that older woman's reaction plot twist the old lady is actually having a heart attack what's your worst shouldn't have said that fat shaming a fat person almost got eaten alive i see what you did there i'm deaf legit needs subtitles hi death i'm dad yeah yeah sweet joke you heard it before us bangs all cotton and tomato products from xinjiang over slave labor good thing iphones aren't made of cotton or tomatoes nimbus no it's a perfect day don't you keep saying no cumulus but you're getting wet down there oh man it's raining again ah that explains the rain smell cool face who else wants that he sucked you go up to a bartender and tell him make me a 2020 what drink does he make a molotov cocktail how would you feel about being straightforwardly asked to have shreks by a friend depends on who the friend is to be honest gotta take care of the homies roses are red violets are blue who wants to hear a horror story your parents are behind you them why is your password 917201999 me pancakes you wouldn't get it my pass is 19 19 19. what is the best nonsexual pleasure or sensation a human can experience farting away a stomachache the question said non-shrek shall hawk just can't understand why this duck isn't afraid of him it's probably a millennial and has been waiting for the sweet release of death its entire life like the video and subscribe right now and watch my previous tank memes videos [Music] thanks

Channel: Clumsy

Views: 634,241

Keywords: memes, dank doodle memes, best memes, dank memes, memes compilation, dank memes compilation, best memes compilation, clean memes, ddm, tik tok memes, memes clean, reddit memes, pewdiepie memes, family friendly memes, funny memes

Id: gvyMKiCXhec

Length: 19min 20sec (1160 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 14 2021