Podcast | Conversation with Lacey Sturm

I'm always the same line with six kids and he struggles is probably growing up in America and I did not know where we're going to stay there was nowhere next thing was going to come from and my mom always trusted God and I was it all well tell me about God and I'd be like she'd give our food stamps today center and then I'm gonna Cole we're gonna eat and she say humph like five years old you think I was take care of him that was that and then well we watched him for vice and so I believed when I was at almost 10 years old I had a cousin that was her mom his mom was a teen mom and she had a baby same time and mom had a baby and they kind of lived in her house and stayed with us and so he was like my little brother when he was three my aunt married a man was a he didn't he the man she married beat him to death so I remember thinking I thought I was going to care of us and if I stopped believing in God and atheist and hated Christians because like challenging will sit in Brooklyn cherry notes many angry we talk about God and was an evangelist racism Wow and then and then when I was fifteen I played to commit suicide and had and it kind of got the des Plantes aside and so after I woke up and I was like why you care about me I was just was up today because and you know and I always loved and knew that you loved me and and often it was holy and that was really powerful that I knew everything I thought as well was really just counterfeit verses so shallow and conditional and selfish compared to God's love Fitz no holy and amazing and his holiness like I found my life flashes home and in that moment when I encountered him and I knew all the things I thought were good really were like when you say you're good thing next to God's likes hang on a big mixer Mountain and Ebro so so like you if she cast you away forever be justice and you want that justice in at the same time he's like I can make you noobs he let me answer I remember waking up next day and knowing his love for me and walking to school and realizing oh my gosh this isn't an accident like God made those trees and God made this earth and you know when you when you as a fan of a band I would like look at all the lyrics all the artwork and all of that they did so I could learn about who they were when you and when I met God and encountered him and Sam just was draw all the sin and I started to see the world and recognize this is his artwork and when I sat in the cafeteria at school that morning looking all right all the people I hated the day before and realizing every single person there my planner is good every single person there is his artwork Wow and so it would just be fascinated with people like the people that I you know all the different cliques in their school and they just have their own groups and their people nobody talks to you and the special and special needs kids of all these different groups and every single person I was like I got to know everybody Wow he what God got you know what would you say work out how his fingerprints on you and I just became fascinated and fell in love people who uh and uh and then so started that's how I love to be : change man so good and at this one thing I'm just overwhelmed in last three four years if we have a school day in July individuality the beauty I've been doing rotten you just it's like your first encounter with the world owes and open your eyes about how everything is you need to God made that is so cool yeah that's like where each one is song or one of his poems and uh you know not a cookie cutter because often Christianity comes cookie cutter for uniformity but it's not for me I mean like I'm and I was like yes I grew up in a single mom home also she's an artist and poor and I barely make made the bills pay but she but individuality is and the beauty of each person is totally like so that's a cool and and so then you got inspired and begin to write when when did you start writing songs or a woody well my mom is a musician all good and uh so we always have music around us and I don't kind of play guitar from just having a guitar around and picking it up and playing around and and so I wrote some my brother my brother playing guitar I played the bass and we try to figure out you know rock songs in the 90s it's not lead a very honest form of music and I like pop music as a little girl my mom like pop music and some the eighties and whatever and then when I heard Nirvana the first time I thought oh well you can actually use music to express your emotions and express he has something that in in ninety it was room true and it early 90s late eighties experiment too realistic and then the Nirvana came was like this voice for kids like me they were really made fun of and salt outcasted and I was just so thankful to know I could be myself and make our toes it and so that's my brother and I began to learn other types of songs and writer and sauce and no not become a Christian but you know sort of fuels our depression so that's the thing I know I notice about art is that art for art's sake you know an expression for expression sake it can just leave you in that place that's and see you can make it deeper and because music to music meditation you know you get to some pinhead and you can sit all the time and sounds I listen to identified with hopelessness identified with despair if they didn't bring you anywhere after and you know so I kind of glorifies that depressive because I didn't trust happy people because like how can you be having a world where children get beaten to death what's wrong with you following around with you and so identify with people that were stabbed like if you get it you know and and so that's what drew me to music oh they get it but then when there's no solution it just makes it compounded and you know the Bible says meditate on things that are pure and lovely and good and praiseworthy you know and I was just stops it when I meditate on everything to sadden and if you didn't to me I didn't I said the first person just a verse and I thought you're just naive not facing reality guy after becoming Christian and seeing that this world actually is a beautiful love story or a whole love letter and it has both sides he identifies with our suffering he faces all of that darkness and he turns it into something beautiful we let him you know there's redemption in the end this means we are willing to look at our hands and believe and have faith for that um like a menace sorrow here was a Minnesota but yet he he for the joy said I had the joy of having us in his arms now endure all the sufferings and so tell me more about your personal walk with God or a ship for that if you want another Wow I mean it it's been like in the beginning when I came to state I was like seven a theist and didn't believe most I see for myself I can feel it for myself and feelings were a really big part of my journey and I felt that and just friends of God I had a tangible encounter with him my spiritual eyes were opened I could see things and and then whenever I was going through this walk as I matured angle Lord allowed me to just I learn the hard way about how your feelings aren't as always teaching you the truth they're fickle they change and so I followed my feelings into deception so I was married when I was 19 divorced not 21 and I wrote a I've recently just finished reading a book about how I ended up in an emotional affair and feeling like the Lord led me there and in the end realizing I was so deceived and back in a suicidal place and having to ask myself if I didn't hear God that time maybe I'd in hand the first time and questioning about again and having to choose to choose outside of my feelings and my own understanding and so interesting like the Lord says you know except for you life and death know that you would choose life so you can fit and I'm sitting there in this despairing moment thinking maybe I don't maybe God maybe I made it up in my head which is so ridiculous and outside of that situation in the moment it seems so reasonable and outside that's like reading the stories in the Bible you're like how many times did the Lord come through and now you're worshiping idols again like what's wrong with you and outside the situation you think that's ridiculous and inside it's so so reasonable so I'm sitting there going maybe I made it up you know and and I had to choose despite my feelings and despite my understanding and it's like when you're in a marriage and you don't have the feelings and you're not we can't remember why I got married in the first place and you helped to choose am I going to honor my covenant that i made my commitment and i remember being young and you know when i cry talking about it with just in my encounters with God and His love just healing me and teaching me and being such a good father to me and and I remembered in that moment having to choose because I didn't feel him close because I rejected him over and over in my perception I'm like no this is God because I think it's good and people in my life came to tell me I you need a title situation and a failure understandable you know it's complicated and I just push people out of my life little by little but then after I came out of that miraculously God provided somebody coming at the moment that I I needed them to and speech the right to wrote that I think the most powerful thing that I learned about somebody who's resistant to the truth because of their own journey to find truth is that they need to feel understood first and then once they know you understand where they're coming from then they can listen to some other perspective on it and so when this man came and spoke about his own journey with having a relationship with someone he shouldn't have and feeling so like connected in so many way their gifts were similar and so they never met anybody who have similar gift is them and I thought oh this must be from God and turns out very destructive and just because something connects emotionally does it mean it's meant to be remote romantic in any way which pop culture Kiki knew the opposite if you can make the refined soulmate doesn't matter the plot you have to overcome to get there you know I mean so it's so good you just finally find somebody who could tell me the truth acknowledges connection acknowledge this agape that was so pure they turned and twisted into this romantic so this perversion perverted the agape is meant to be there and so I so it came out of that and I was like why me parents like I need somebody to tell me right from wrong because I don't know and so I I came close I skipped the scriptures I quit saying I can hear from God because I deceive myself and I just clung to description say nothing like that it was written in churches come on and then I said to somebody who tried to get me out of the situation me anything can you please you tell me what I'm doing if it's wrong I will listen to you everything's like you know I'll tell you what I think you have to choose yourself and I was so good you wasn't going to tell me what to do right he's going to ask me questions and let me decide when myself and I was like okay anything you set up like that's it I'm doing what you said you like that I'm going that way yeah because I and so I end up meeting my husband during that time and I might talk to my spiritual Papa you didn't tell me - you're okay and we walked through our dating impurity and married eight years now and I can't believe that that wasn't possible if they're all the people that's a beautiful town yes your son David oh great five-year-old really - Wow so um there you have some we go and as a family my husband plays guitar Oh together yeah wonderful you're filling our hearts with so much hope and and and you really even deep within an essence of how to share the gospel with people by seeing them enjoying their seeing their you know value and and then listening to them and not talking right away necessary but this really engaging them that's why I'm seeing your amazing soul and in that respect and it's a really powerful and we could be communicating to so many and so I I personally see you leaving a real soul winning army you know in a new way of advantages or not so much like eating the people in the head with the with the viable body but yet being the Bible you know and and being the eyes of God in the years of God and so I think you're touching that and I think you just a leader for the next generation of evangelists you know when many many many like so many more than if you the old way you know is thinking for the old way we got saved that way but now there's a new way and I think you part of that leadership for the new that's what I say you know I would be like if it wasn't for the warden just one no how can I love you back thank you so much how do I love you back you know can I do anything for you guys I can't complain okay okay I'm living playing that's so good well we're looking forward to the plants unfolding please have it to be family and know your and child together and it was really keen to support yeah and you know that's so funny because that's what I've noticed since I walk in the door I fell family and that's so that's a piece of missing from our unity no you don't only get along with your family and always agree with everything babe like that your family you know and to come into the place that's like family and like you can say something maybe which I haven't ever heard you say me I don't agree with but you could and I still would just so honored respect to you because you've been family from the moment I walk in you know yeah so and I would honor you like well maybe that's true maybe God's saying that through him and the whole multifaceted wisdom with God that when speech about today no that's my favorite verse I love it because we all have a fold and learn from anything yeah the manifold yeah that yeah that we are something to learn from somebody we see life from a different perspective that's like sharing through that different color yeah I've never seen that color you know wow we're family and also friendship you know you know because like the kingdom of God is a family father son but then they reached out to Abraham for friendship they maybe he became a friend of God and so God wants family love but also friendship love is like friends like each other you know they find enjoyment you know they see who you are and so those are the two things to me the kingdom of God like the two pillars like the family father son and then the friendship you know and and then the whole Bridal like to say eventually got married with the prince you know wonderful and you know eventually we become somebody like Sicily like somebody and out of that enjoyment and becomes marriage comes and so it's both sons and daughters and Brides you know for the lawyers family always a family oh yeah you know yeah I think friendship is even deep red family must be same cake yeah great when it's both and it can be both you know like like hamdu married 38 years and now I'm I'm seeing my wife as a friend deep deep friend you know and just you know now relatives but also friends you know it's the combination it's amazing heaven on earth yeah I think you we minimize friendship in our culture we don't even know what it means like if you become too close and people get it twisted like a couple over here is it that's the heavenly relationship yeah man it's so God wait so having cultured friendship yeah culture of heaven God likes you yeah david says he like me to make me king he didn't just hire you you're of your king which is you like me to make me kingship that you know i mean that's a personal friendship you base that I like it I don't know how to say well I have some people your friends Wayne because I like them legacy there's no particularly reason other than you like them there's something that you like yeah you know I mean it's design is really yeah can't explain it it's been great thank you so much for hanging out yeah Oh

Channel: Georgian and Winnie Banov

Views: 2,084

Rating: 4.8297873 out of 5

Keywords: Suicide, Salvation, New Life, Lacey Sturm, Flyleaf, KoRn, Brian Head Welch, Nirvana, Jesus, Georgian Banov, Global Celebration, Christianity, Faith, Atheist, supernatural life, culture of Heaven, Heaven, God, Love

Id: zm53QZKL9yI

Length: 19min 7sec (1147 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 22 2017