Like this place. Look at all these drawings. I know.
- And did you see the duckies in the yard? Lily loves duckies. I'm gonna mention that. Okay, we'll do, because that's really gonna set her apart from the rest of the kids. We should also mention how she always perks
up when we watch Charlie Rose. That was one time he was interviewing Elmo. You boys ought to relax. Oh. I'm sorry, we just- We really want to make a good impression. Mm. Gay adoptive parents with a minority baby. Sugars, you can get into any school you want. Really? Oh, you didn't know that? Oh, yeah. All of these schools like to brag about
their diversity. Your diverse times three, in demand. You're like Jimmy Buffett tickets to these hybrid-driving straight
white folks. Oh, I hear that girl. Yeah. [doorbell ringing] I'm coming. Where the hell's the dog? Who is it?
- It's our neighbor. The dog is gone. Maybe it ran away. It was chained to a tree. Maybe your wife took it. According to my credit card, my wife is in
Europe searching for the world's most expensive hotel.
- Then what do you want from us? You come over complaining about the dog, and
the next day it's gone. You tell me. I'll tell-
- How dare you? You come to our house, you ring our bell
many times and you accuse us of taking your dog! You should go home.
- We're not done here. Yes we are. [door closes] What did you do? You don't want to know. Gloria's grandfather and uncles were
butchers, so she's always had a certain comfort level when it comes to killing. One time we had this rat- What? First, you smash it. Then you cut the head off. [Jay] It was like nothing to her. I go to church now. She left the head out there to send a message
to the other rats. Hey. Hi, honey. How was your day at work? Amazing. Great. What happened? Instead of wasting my lunch hour surfing the web, checking football stats, I
put on some mellow music and I meditated. Wow. For how long? I have no idea. I just woke up 20 minutes ago. Hey, mom, I need a bar of soap and a black
marker for an art project. Okay, well, the marker's over there and the
soap is under the sink. Isn't it great how much time you have now
that you're not wasting it online? Oh, my God, is this what you
always sound like? Look what I've built, Dad. Dunphy Towers. 200 condos. A happy family in every one. Way to go, buddy. I gotta hand it to you, honey. 24 hours without video games, he's already contributing to society. Die, die. [whack] To be fair, he's using his imagination. There's no fire escapes. They cut corners. I'll cut your corners! [whack] [phone rings] Hello. Oh, hi. Luke, honey, it's for you. Hi, Griffin. How are you? Yeah, he's right here. Hold on. Hey, Griffin. Oh my God, What happened? There's a parasailing donkey video on
YouTube. Oh my God. Wait, Luke, what about the contest? I quit. I'm not made of stone, you know. Oh, I can't believe it. Got a B on my paper. Good for you.
- Yeah. No, it would be good for you. It's terrible for me. Thanks to your moldy encyclopedias, my take
on mitosis was completely out of date. They don't even call it protoplasm anymore. It's cytoplasm. Well, you could have asked one of us. Now you're making jokes? I'm not making a joke. Really? What's the difference between a
gamete and a zygote? Don't fall for it, Claire. She's just making up words. Huh? That's it. I need the internet. I'm out of your stupid contest. Hmm. And then there were three. It's just kind of scary. We're not buying her a car.
