People who have caught their PARTNER CHEATING, how did you catch them? - Reddit Podcast

Predators who have caught their significant other cheating how did you catch them did you give them another chance we went to a Halloween party at a friend's place I'd known she's had a bit of a crush on one guy who was to attend at one point late in the night she was quite drunk she lined up at the washroom immediately after he went in I kept a bit of an eye on her and when the bathroom door opened she went in but he didn't come out I stood at the door and waited when it opened and he stumbled out I immediately went in and confronted her about it I'm proud of myself for not committing murder that night we're going through divorce now 10 years married with two kids really you're gonna do it at a mutual friend's party in the bathroom that's just got bad idea written all over it I didn't catch him he called me the next morning crying and told me everything I respected his honesty recognized his remorse and truly believed it would never happen again so I decided to forgive him but after he cheated he became incredibly paranoid he started checking my phone accusing me of Revenge screwing people behind his back even got mad when I was assigned to work with a man on a group project in school I couldn't stand by the fact that he was the one who cheated and I was the one being punished I really had forgiven him I wasn't holding his mistake over his head and my attitude toward him didn't change after the fact at all but he was driving me away more and more every day after about a month of this I broke up with him and he completely lost it sounds like this was a hitch in the relationship that you guys just weren't gonna get through one way or the other I met my future husband when I was 15 years old by the time I was 20 we were married and I was pregnant with my first child at 22 I gave birth to our second child and that's when things changed suddenly he was never home he would leave the house to pick up milk and return at 5am he was drinking so heavily that most mornings he'd wake up in a panic wondering where he left his car only to find it in the driveway luckily he'd never killed anyone driving home while blackout drunk my husband had wanted to be a writer so I would constantly find half written stories or story outlines in these hardcovered journals he left them everywhere and I'd pick them up and pile them on his desk one night I'm getting ready to host a party for my father's 50th birthday the hall was already booked and I had already decorated we were expecting about 80 guests I was quickly trying to get ready in out the door as I had to be there before guests started arriving but I could not find my pantyhose anywhere while rummaging through our dresser drawers I found them along with another of his hardcovered journals I opened it up and scan a page wondering why this particular book was stashed in a drawer as I read what was on the pages my entire world was Crashing Down on Me Not only was my husband an alcoholic he also had a pretty serious drug addiction then the worst part hit me he was having an affair with my best friend she was my maid of honor my best friend since we were 10 years old I've ran to the washroom and threw up I just couldn't handle the information I'd just gotten I quickly finished getting ready and left the house I hosted that party that night with both my husband and my best friend in attendance and did so with a smile on my face it was a tough night but I survived we've since gotten divorced and I no longer have contact with either of them ah yeah a lot of red flags there unfortunately going out for milk and not coming back till 5am I'm sorry but I'm gonna need some answers and the worst part is he was cheating with your best friend he was my first proper boyfriend and in hindsight he was a pretty crappy boyfriend but at the time I thought the sun Shone out of his butt so I was crushed when out of the blue he dumped me with no reason a week later a group of his friends who'd taken a liking to me contacted me with the real reason for our breakup because apparently they'd seen what was happening and they were sick of his crap basically he'd been seeing another girl behind my back and when she found out about me she refused to sleep with him so he dumped me in the hopes of getting into her pants she inevitably told him to get lost at which point he tried getting back with me I did not take him back I found out while I was deployed the guy she was cheating on me with emailed me and told me everything every detail he apologized and told me he had no idea we were together I put a hole in the wall went to smoke an entire pack at the smoke pit went back to my laptop and I thanked the guy you gotta at least respect the guy for coming to you and letting you know if he honestly didn't know she was with someone at least he's doing what he can to try and make it right my girlfriend was out with a friend we'll call her Susan on a girl's night until all hours and told me she was staying at Susan's place for the night the next time I see Susan she pulled me aside and told me that they actually went to the house of a guy my girlfriend worked with we'll call him Patrick because that's his name Susan goes on to tell me that she woke up in the middle of the night and found my girlfriend fooling around with Patrick on the couch while Patrick's girlfriend was asleep in the bedroom I thanked her for letting me know then went home and told my girlfriend to pack her stuff I kind of hope someone told Patrick's girlfriend too the whole situation is messed up but she was in the house my ex-wife and I were together for six years married for two and a half of them she worked in a hospital and started getting a little too buddy buddy with a doctor I confronted her about it and she assured me he was just a friend and tried to make me sound crazy she even had this idea and that she could convince her trick me into being friends with him so that she could be with him without me being suspicious I did everything I could to get her to talk to me but she never would it's a very long sad and messed up tale eventually all her lies started making less and less sense I found a program that would decipher text messages and picture messages from an iTunes backup of her phone it had all the evidence I needed I still can't shake all the texts images and general disrespect of our marriage and family that I discovered we have a two-year-old together after all this was a little over a year ago and I still have serious bouts of depression over it the day I found out I texted the picture he had sent of his junk to both him and her she came home sobbing and trying her best to convince me to try our marriage again I could never trust her again nor did I want to try but for a while I thought that maybe I should give it a chance that was a waste of a couple months of my life she refused to change jobs or stop contacting him even with the threat of losing her family looming over her head I made the hardest decision of my life that it would be better for my daughter to grow up in two separate homes where she didn't need to witness her parents constantly fighting her in tears I share 50 50 custody of her with my ex-wife which saddens me deeply because I can't see her as much as I want but it's better than her growing up in a household full of lies and deceit throughout the ordeal I lost 30 pounds from constant stress and depression I learned that people don't change selfish people will always be selfish people I did however receive the amazing gift of a child from it all though and I would never change that that's really rough to hear my friend that's probably the worst part is that when that trust is gone it's almost impossible to get back and it sounds like your wife wasn't really putting in any work to get there either I was deployed in Iraq and my wife was being distant for a few weeks during my deployment she mentioned several times in phone calls this contractor she was working with and how much they click and all I trusted her and never thought that she was cheating but I joked about it and we laughed it off I even met the guy while home on leave and he shook my hand thanking me for my service a month later I'm back in Iraq and one particular night I can't get a hold of her I called and called and no answer I'm very much a trust my gut type of guy and I had a sinking sickly feeling of something being up I never was one of checking or sneaking into her accounts but we shared passwords with each other I decided to check her Facebook account there was nothing in her inbox but there was one lonely message in her outbox she didn't delete to the contractor guy she worked with saying I will always love you that was when my worlds Came Crashing Down shortly afterwards she finally calls me back not knowing I know and confesses she's pregnant with his baby I couldn't get a hold of her because she was with her mom confessing what she had done that night I remember punching a wall and straining her broke my thumb and leaving my Barracks knocking over a porta-potty thankfully nobody was in it there was a month or two before I was to be home and we tried working it out being distant once I got home I decided to give it another chance she told me she would stop talking to him and request him to be removed from her project I met her at the office one day for lunch and she wasn't in her office yet while waiting for her I saw she had her email pulled up but not her usual email turns out she had a secret email account with him after that I was done and out the one thing some people don't know is that there can be layers to unravel when your significant other is cheating my doubt started when I took my significant other's phone on accident unlocked it and Bam texts that were pretty inappropriate I confronted her about it and she tried to talk her way out of it but they were just texts so I told her to stop doing it and everything would be fine unfortunately I found out in a pretty annoying way I was chilling at home and I get a message from a really good friend if I wanted to go play laser tag we were in college and it's what bored college kids do I decline and just go about my evening the next day I'm talking to that exact friend and he lets me know that my significant other and this other guy the guy that she was sending the text to and that everyone else also knew were being a little bit too close I confronted her and bingo she was cheating on me and did soon after that a surprise visit from out of town she's not home well it was a surprise and I wasn't sure of her plans for the evening so I go to my mom's house to wait a while a few hours later I go back to my girlfriend's apartment but she's still not there on a hunch I drive by her male friend's place and sure enough her car is there I get an uncomfortable feeling about it but try not to worry so if I go back to my mom's place to get some sleep up early I go over to my girlfriends again not there drive around the block and she's still at that dude's place I never liked that jerk at this point I'm angry I go back to my mom's and call my girlfriend's home phone the message was something like this I came into town last night and we need to talk a few hours later she rings the doorbell and we go upstairs she confesses that she cheated I was in love with this woman so I accepted her apology and gave her another chance we stayed together for a few months but I came to realize I couldn't forgive her so easily especially since she was still hanging around that guy so we broke up the end when they're caught and they're not willing to cut off contact with the person that they were caught with there's definitely going to be problems they can't seriously expect you to sit there and just be okay with you continuing to spend time with them I'd been dating a guy for a few months we didn't have a title on it but a couple months before the incident we had decided that we had no interest in seeing others and we were exclusive he decides he wants to buy an iPad and a few days later I asked if I could see it to see what apps he had and if there were any I might like to put on my own I noticed an app called MeetMe that has around five or six notifications on it I honestly had no idea what it was so I opened it it went straight to his inbox which was full of messages from other women just as I saw that he asked if I was ready to go to the grocery store so I left it there he could tell something was up at the grocery store but I didn't bring it up in public obviously we get back to his place and I open up the app again I said what's this app on here called meet me I've never heard of that before he said oh it's just a social networking site kind of like Facebook it's really big with my friends from up in Oregon so I opened up a message that says something like hey girl you want to come see me so I can play with those tatas us or something along those lines I said oh so this blonde girl Shelly is Gonna Fly all the way from Oregon so you can play with her tatas how sweet of her then we get into a huge fight with him mostly claiming that I'm not his girlfriend so he can still do things with other girls seemingly forgetting about the exclusivity talk it ends with him confessing that he did it because he's in love with me and those strong feelings scared him so he turned to other women but he never actually met up with any of them he also cried so that was cool I gave him another chance but we crashed and burned not too long afterwards because I just couldn't trust that sketchy jerk that's one of the worst most popular excuses for cheating I've ever heard it's just stupid when you think about it the fact that people think that this is a legitimate excuse just shows how stupid they are my ex just started grad school after being out of undergrad for about two years we'd been going out for nearly a year she would introduce me to a lot of her classmates and stuff and we'd start to hang out with some of them the people she had made the best friends with were guys which I didn't have too much of a problem with most of them seemed cool one of the guys she was probably the closest with and she started talking about this guy all the time he had just gotten married a couple months prior I guess I had met him a few times and I got just a bit of a jerk vibe from him but whatever a couple weeks go by and she just starts to act different it's our anniversary weekend and I have dinner plans for us get a nice card all that kind of stuff she has to cancel on me at the last minute because she has to study that weekend I stay at her apartment because I need to do something downtown the next day and I wasn't living around there she ended up having to go to her parents house for some reason she left her laptop and I took it to go on Gmail her Gmail was logged in and I know I really shouldn't have done it but I started to poke around just a little I felt terrible while doing it but I could feel some distance between us and she wouldn't talk to me about whatever it was she had deleted the majority of her Gchat conversations but must have overlooked one of them it was a quite obscene conversation with that married guy about what they had done that weekend and many other times before that so I took the card I had gotten for her wrote Fu all over the words telling her how I had loved her and set it on her computer with that conversation still open and left that's it no follow-up I guess she just came home and found that and put it all together and decided to let it go my first boyfriend cheated on me with his ex at least twice but I didn't actually find out until years after we broke up he and I got together for drinks and to catch up and I just flat out asked him if he'd slept with her he couldn't answer me and that answer was enough looking back I knew in the back of my mind something was up and I should have accepted that and moved on sooner the paintings she did of him the way he'd disappear for days after seeing her heck he even drove to my school in her car to tell me we should take a break it makes me angry to think about how naive I was I was trying to be the cool girlfriend who didn't mind her boyfriend hanging out with his ex because they were just friends joke's on me I guess my ex-boyfriend and I had been dating for two years when he cheated on me it was his birthday and we were supposed to be going out for dinner that night I decided to surprise him with his birthday present earlier that day I went over to his house since he was off from work and saw that he had left the door unlocked so I went in and called out for him but he didn't answer his TV volume was turned up really loud so I went up to his room just to catch him pile driving my cheer captain there was no confrontation I left quietly though I did come back to stick nails in his tires at a spite he begged me to forgive him but I declined I won't lie I was tempted but it really hurt to give him everything and I mean everything I could emotionally and he was my first for him to turn around and betray me like that really hurt I will say that holding grudges did me no good I was able to forgive him just for closure purposes when it comes to forgiving someone for something like this that's more what it's for it's for you you need to be able to move on and it's hard to do that when you're still holding on to those feelings my roommates in college confronted her after they knew she had someone over while I was out of town she convinced them that she would tell me what had happened after I returned and 24 hours passed my roommates told me because they let her have her time I kicked her out immediately and ended it about a month later she moved into the same building same floor across the hall her door was about eight feet from mine it's a college town with tens of thousands of apartments and no it was not to see me we talked once after the breakup and it was truly over that's incredibly awkward to have to be across the hall from each other after all of that my wife had been acting distant for a few weeks and suddenly started meeting a female friend of hers a night a week or so I was suspicious especially when the friend called looking for her on a night that they were supposed to be out together a few nights later I found some pictures and text messages on her phone we argued and I ended up going to my buddy's house at three in the morning God bless him the next day we argued some more and of course it was my fault after all I didn't pay her enough attention we went to counseling and I stayed because of our kids but I've never forgiven her and honestly I wonder if staying was a mistake the marriage was Rocky once he met a girl in his summer session course and was studying with her while I was gone at work sometimes she'd come early in the morning like 6 a.m and then be there when I got home at 9 00 pm he would make her breakfast lunch and dinner with the groceries I was buying for us with my hard-earned money I put my foot down and said that he had to limit his time with her that my needs weren't being met he was withholding sex for weeks at the time citing that he was too tired or stressed he said I was overreacting that nothing was happening between them and that I was just trying to sabotage his career goals I read his chats with her and he was pouring his heart out about our troubles but there was no evidence of cheating I sent him to sleep on the futon the day I came home from work to have lunch and found them boxing in the backyard shirtless in the following months I tolerated none of his crap but what really got me was when I happened upon a pros and cons list comparing me to his ex his study buddy and some other girl I hadn't even heard of yet I also found love letter drafts to two girls thrown in the trash not even hidden needless to say I ended it right quick and kicked him out I was actually pretty merciful and let him live in the garage for three weeks but he definitely didn't deserve it last I heard he's dating the third girl on the list and living with his study buddy jerk this sounds like it has nothing to do with you and more with him just not knowing what he wants sadly a lot of the times that's the way it goes it's not the person who got cheated on that has anything wrong with them it's the person who did the cheating when you subscribe make sure to hit the Bell to turn on notifications put the playlist on in the background to finish listening to all the stories linked at the top of the description and if you like am I the jerk give am I the genius a shot Linked In the description as well either way thanks a lot for watching and we'll see you guys next time

Channel: Am I the Genius?

Views: 23,027

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Id: X1WErIcCXV0

Length: 20min 5sec (1205 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 11 2023