What if God is just a bored,
sarcastic old man who inflicts misery and suffering on mankind for amusement?
After the creation of the world, God sits in his well-furnished office with a book in his hands. In
front of him stands a large table, symbolizing the earth. Trees grow on the earth, elephants walk,
and primitive people live there. God rests his feet carelessly on the table and reads his book.
A servile butler named Jeffrey asks God if he likes the book. God replies that it only slightly
satisfies his taste. However, God is pleased that the book contains a recipe for a black hole.
The Creator turns the page and, out of the corner of his eye, notices that the people of
the earth have become lively. A primitive man had been rubbing a stick against a rock
for hours. God finds what is happening amusing and is moved by the people’s actions.
Suddenly God notices that the man has managed to light a fire. The Creator does not like
this kind of independence at all. Furious, he wonders what epoch it is on earth. The
butler tells him that they should still be 200,000 years away from getting fire according to
plan. Out of rage, God orders Geoffrey to put out the fire. The butler carries out the errand
without delay and blows toward the crowd. The people on the ground perceive this blowing
as a powerful gust of wind, which immediately puts out the fire. They become frustrated
and fall to their knees in helplessness. God calms down, picks up his book again,
and mutters that the people are annoying him. He orders Geoffrey to drive them into the
cave. Butler swipes his hand over the ground, affecting the elephants. The animals trumpet
aggressively and run at the crowd of people. The frightened people hide in a cave. God notes
that it would be good to shrink their brains. Soon people are out in the meadows again. This
time they do a ritual dance to bring rain. God swears as he observes the people's actions and
doesn't understand what they don't like this time. Jeffrey explains that they forgot to turn off
the drought on earth. God sighs wearily and generously allows the butler to give the people
some water. Jeffrey, surprised by this generosity, smirks while saying, "God is merciful," and sprays
the earth with water from a mister. The people raise their hands to the sky and rejoice in the
rain, and the creator laughs like a child watching them. He asks the butler to spray a few more times
to make fun of the people's amusing behavior. After laughing to his heart's content, God sits
down with the book and casually orders Geoffrey to release a plague. The butler is surprised at
this sudden change in the creator's mood, and the smile slides off his face. He sets the mister
aside and dutifully walks towards an antique box with a frightening vial inside. Jeffrey casts a
wary glance at God and, with an impassive face, releases a plague on the earth from the vial.
People immediately fall, groaning and convulsing. God looks blankly at the human suffering for a
few seconds and then resumes reading his book. Time passes. Now there is a modern-day London on
God's table instead of a lawn with a primitive tribe. The Creator sits beside the table in silk
pajamas and stares boredly at the ground. Jeffrey brings God a bottle of excellent wine from
Lucifer. Satan also delivers another letter to the creator suggesting how to make
things right. He hopes that God has some free time to go bowling with him.
Listening indifferently to the message from Lucifer, God draws Jeffrey's attention to a
tall building in town. The butler informs him that it is Ashley Tower. The Creator lazily rubs his
eyes and orders Geoffrey to set fire to this and the neighboring building. He wants to see what
people will do. Butler takes a box of matches out of his pocket, lights one of them, and throws
it at Ashley Tower. God rejoices, praises Jeffrey for a perfect hit, and listens cheerfully to the
people's cries. He watches enthusiastically as people run to the roof of the building, trying
to escape the fire. He warms his hands over the flames and mimics the human cries for help. Police
and fire trucks quickly approach the building. God asks Jeffrey what he thinks the people
on the roof are thinking right now. Butler assumes they are thinking about their
families and hoping to be rescued. The Creator looks thoughtfully at the burning
building and orders Jeffrey to send a "twister" or "sucker" at it. The butler guesses that he is
talking about a tornado. Jeffrey notes that they are pretty rare in the city. Then God loses his
temper, calls people petty clowns, and complains that they couldn't even find other universes in
space, which he created on Sunday night for fun. In his anger, God demands a tornado.
Jeffrey hesitates to disobey him and, with a slight movement of his hand, summons a
tornado right over the burning building. The natural disaster destroys all the people on the
roof and spreads dust throughout God's office. The Creator coughs and orders the tornado to stop
since it becomes hard to breathe in the room. When the dust clears, God is satisfied and
asks Jeffrey to bring him some marmalade toast.
