(applause) (laughing) That's nice. Come on, accept the love. (applause) (laughing) What are you, Mussolini now? What happened to you? (laughing) Thanks for coming. Nice to have you here. Thanks for having me here. Yeah. You know, I gotta say this suit, I don't think I've seen a suit like that. I think it's very, I think it's very sharp. I think you look great. I went to a Dolce and Gabbana yesterday. Okay. (applause) And I'm bringing their name up, a whole bunch if I can. because I'm trying to get
them to give me this suit. (applause) Really? So Dolce and Gabbana. Yeah. Did I mention that? Yeah, you mentioned that's a Dolce and Gabbana suit. It's really Well-made, really comfortable kind of style. And I like it. I went to their store yesterday, I was shopping around, there was a shirt, a patchwork suede shirt that I looked at and I thought, I could go there maybe. And I looked at it and I sort of tried to look at the price tag without them seeing. I was looking at the price tag, so they didn't think like, you know, he's looking at the price tag Cause like celebrity, it's hard If a celebrity is seen
looking at a price tag, right? Yeah. I mean, I'm really cheap but I don't necessarily
like people to know that. Yeah. (applause) But the shirt was $6,500. Who can spend $6,500 on a shirt? That's insane. Not me. Yeah. I mean, So you took this suit, did you pay for it or did you not Pay for it? I don't know if I paid for it. I took it. And we're going to work
the thing out later. (applause) If I were you I'd keep mentioning their
name over and over again. (applause) Yeah, Dolce, Dolce and Gabbana, Dolce and Gabbana. No, it's actually, I really love this suit, but I don't know whether they're giving it to me yet or whether I'm paying for it or if there's a discount or it' kinda getting worked out later. I think a few more mentions
on a few more shows and you'll get that suit. Really? Yeah. And I'd like to
mention just one more time, no one makes a better car than Porsche. (applause) It's an amazing driving machine. Porsche, feel the road. (applause) Now you're, you know, I was, didn't meet you until you came to the show and I've always thought you were great and it was really nice to meet you. And then I find out you were
a little under the weather. I just started to get
a cold earlier today. Mm-hmm So I kinda thank you so much. Yeah. We actually have a show
sympathy light that flashes. Really? Yeah. I know, I felt like, Totally insincere. Totally phony. (applause) I'm just kidding. You're the best audience I've ever. (applause) What a pro. No, I'm glad you brought up the cold because my nose just started dripping just literally an hour ago and I was thinking, hey I'm coming out to
promote a cocaine movie. (applause) So it's a cold, It's really a cold. You are going to think he
was researching the role. Yeah. (laughing) Now speaking of which, you're getting great
reviews for this movie. Yeah. People are very excited
about your performance. The movie is great. And in it you play it's
interesting character bisexual hairdresser. Mm-hmm. Did you, is that a role you got to research in some way or no? Um, I knew how to cut hair a little bit. Right? (applause) Yes. They are so far ahead of me. Mm-hmm I can't believe it. Yeah. My only real bisexual experience was, you know, that you and
I long, long time ago. (applause) No, no, no. I'm just kidding. (applause) Totally kidding. Why are you telling
them you're kidding now? That hurts me more. (applause) I'm afraid Johnny Depp might get mad. (laughing) You know, Now what a
threesome that would be. Hey, come on. After that monologue, I can do anything. People are hearing now that you're bringing Peewee, the Peewee character back which is, everyone's excited about that. (applause) This is a very exciting thing. That's true. You're planning some movies? Yes. And some products, you're going to come out
with some Peewee products? Well, there was a couple
things I didn't get to do. (applause) This audience is mine. That's right I'm trying to do some products that I didn't get to do
the first time around. There were a couple of things I couldn't get somebody interested in. And the first thing I think that's going to come at our sense, I'm going to do, You're going to do. I'm going to do a women's
accent and a men's accent. The women's is one of two. I'm not sure yet. It's either a Peewee in Paris or a O to Peewee. (applause) You know what people would buy that, they really would buy. I hope they will. Yeah. And the man is Peewee (indistinct). Very nice. Form a French field. These were classy products too. Yeah, yeah. What are these, What do they smell like? The sense. Smell me. They smell just like me. (laughing) You think I've forgotten? (applause) You said something, you said this thing
recently in time magazine that has a lot of people talking, you said, and you've mentioned this a few places but I think it bears repeating, because it's true. You take people up, strange people that you
don't really even know. You take them up on weird invitations. Is that true? Yeah, I just started doing it
a couple of years ago. Because, you know, people a lot of times invite me places. I go run into somebody on the street and they'll go, I'm so happy to meet you. And you know, why don't you come over for dinner? My wife will cook you
a home homemade dinner. And she makes great, you know, whatever. And I always, you know,
write the number down and then throw it away. But I started to just recently think, you know, what would be so bad? Maybe that would be entertaining. (applause) And so I've done it, maybe four or five times over, about a three-year period. And I've had just lunatic, really crazy experiences. And tomorrow nights is my next one. Is this, this is for real, right? Yeah, yeah. I'm going to a Passover
Seder tomorrow night. And for the Jews out there. (applause) Yeah. And I don't know anybody there. I mean, an acquaintance is taking me with her to a Seder across the street from where she grew up
at the rabbi's house. Right. And I got about a 30 minute rundown on all the people like that, you know, who was having the messy divorce and whose kid was, So I don't know, I mean, And it's going to be
be so strange for them because you're there, you know, for no reason, really. Right. That's such a strange, I didn't think about that. Yeah. (applause) Now, and this is something
you want to keep doing. You want to do more of this? Until I knock on some wood. Until I have a really
horrifying experience. But so far it's been incredibly
entertaining and fun. Everyone's really nice. And you know, you get free food and I told you I was really cheap so, Yeah, yeah. You're gonna have to pay off this suit. Exactly. Yeah. So what do we, is there, You wanted, so people watching now, we're going to think if they see you that they
can invite you, right? Oh yeah. Well, anyone who happens
to be watching out there and it all starts, What do you mean anyone
who wants to be watching? I mean all the people. One of the most watched programs. To all the most watched people out there who watched the show To all people of America. To all people in America
who are watching the show. If you want to invite me
somewhere crazy or or normal like a dinner or anything, they could send it to your show. Like an invitation of some kind. Late night with Conan O'Brien, which is, late night with Conan
O'Brien 30 Rockefeller Plaza. Suite, it was 901 West. I'm asking you. come on. What is it? I don't know. New York guy, What's 10112. Right, Okay. So where is my home address, Which is, which is? I remember. (applause) You rascal. (applause) Go for that. And if I go on anything really crazy, maybe take a crew or something and I'll come back and show it. That would be great. Would you let us shoot that and then show when you're on the show? That would be amazing. Yeah. The rabbi already nixed cameras. He was okay with it we heard it was me. Not the guy. Um, one thing, the last thing I wanted to mention before we go, because we're running tight on time, but I heard that you send out the most interesting Christmas
cards of any celebrity. That you are you that sends out the most, you know, remembered and hard
to forget Christmas cards. Me and Reba McEntire. She's got good ones too. Okay. And Charlie Daniels, Charlie Daniels. As a matter of fact sends gifts. In addition, I just send a card. I've been doing it in about 20 years. I have like a different card every year. This past year, I used
a picture from blow. There was a Christmas scene in blow. And so I had Johnny Depp sitting on my lap with a big Christmas tree. And that's the first of my, you didn't get one out there, did you? (applause) So I was thinking, I mean you don't have to do this. But I brought last year Johnny Depp's, So this is the beginning
of my celebrity series. All right. And I was thinking, maybe you'd take a picture, I could use it on the card. Because I don't have one this year. I would love to be on the Christmas card. Yeah. So I got a center beard, You want so do it now? Well, I mean, as opposed to when? early February or March? (applause) All right, all right. I'll do it. Do you mind, We'll just take a second And I'll, (applause) Well, they have Chrissmas set back here. Yeah, yeah. So I'll just move out here. And where do you want me? Move the chair up front or something? Yeah, is there like, you got a still guy. Oh, there he is. Still photographer. Okay. Just talk amongst yourselves
for a minute there. (applause) Okay. This is good. This is compelling television. Great. So I'm just going to
sit in your lap like this. This could be anybody at this point. (applause) We got it? that was excellent. Thank you very much. What the hell's going on here. Wow, (indistinct) Hey. You know what? It was just amazing
having you on the show. Thank you so much. Congratulations on everything. Thank you. Please come back.
