Pat McAfee's opening monologue at the 2023 ESPYS (📍 @CapitalOne)

live from the Dolby Theater the 2023 ESPYs presented by Capital One please welcome ESPN's Pat McAfee [Applause] All-Stars crushing it thank you hell yeah welcome to the 2023 SB I am not your host no no there was supposed to be a funny host a host that's friends with The Rock uh host that does interviews out of a cold tub a host that I've never met but from the pictures on the internet I think that some about yay tell that future billionaire decided to stand in solidarity with his Brethren and sister and the writers strike so we can't help but respect that obviously so the fine folks at ESPN and Disney Jimmy pitaro and Bob Iger had to figure out who was going to do this part of the show so they went down to the newly renovated ESPN Talent offices and it was literally me or Stephen A Smith unfortunately for all of us Stephen A Smith is busy this evening trying to get to the bottom of the whole Zion Williamson of model fans face tattoo thing so since he's doing the Lord's work I will be the one that'll get the opportunity to say it is an absolute honor to be in this room celebrating the hell out of sports excellence sports are the greatest thing in the world sports are amazing in a world that is seemingly divided by everything if you go to any Stadium or Arena or locker room you will see people from all different backgrounds socioeconomic classes races religions differing of opinions all uniting for one thing and that's the beat the hell out of them sports are a beautiful thing and I am lucky to be in the sports world Sports provides Society with so many things every single year inspiration for those moments that are difficult you know Sports give you something to think about as you keep it moving this year obviously we saw one of the most inspirational things that has ever happened in human history ladies and gentlemen Demar Hamlin is here tonight hell yeah we all watched the situation unfolding on Monday Night Football as Joe Buck and Troy Aikman were trying to navigate the waters and we all at home feared for the absolute worst and Skip Bayless was like get that dead body off the field we got playoff implications on the line he said it the tweet's still up hashtag delete the Tweet skip but as we watched on we saw something that we could have never expected Denny Kellington in the Buffalo Bills training staff the EMTs the doctors at the hospital the teammates and the Wilder Survive by Demar Hamlin has him here tonight here at all and back playing football running faster than he's ever run before absolute dog I still don't think Skip should put that tweet out tomorrow they're insensitive pretty beautiful stage here obviously lucky to be here and tell you that Sports also provide magical moments in celebratory moments every single year in the past 12 months three teams have brought their fans in City a championship for the first time ever the LSU Women's Basketball team is here tonight congratulations to them the Vegas golden knights won their first ever Stanley Cup that's hockey foreign it's a good team it's a good team and the Denver Nuggets won their first ever NBA championship every player that is not Serbian is here tonight and we appreciate you all making the appearance you know every once in a while though Sports will contribute to society some monsters I don't like it I don't love it but it is what it is for instance this year what we contributed well I guess the NFL contributed more specifically the Kansas City Chiefs contributed more specifically Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelsey contributed I don't even cheering for this there was a man who would put a wolf mask on and actually go into banks with a gun and Rob them for money so that he can watch these two play football so next time you're thinking about that little left-handed shot put thing and you're thinking about the whole and we're down 30 and now we're winning and making the most must-watch games of all time think about the bank tellers Pat okay think about them you might win a Walter Peyton man of the year if you just decide to suck next year and not terrorize all these cities so we apologize the Sports World obviously isn't perfect sue us don't actually shout out Brett Favre that one's for me that was for me and Shannon Sharp shout out skip pointers for YouTube NBA royalty is in here tonight and it is a beautiful thing we'll be celebrating King James becoming the all-time leading scorer hell yeah Chris Paul Dwayne Wade are here obviously Banana Boat brother Carmelo Anthony's retiring will be celebrating the hell out of that how could you not one NBA star is not here that I was kind of hoping for he is seven foot five needs to apologize to Britney Spears it's bad she just said like need it now he's supposed to be the next one so I was hoping he was here so I can meet him and say hello because I think all of us learning of him very recently can't wait to watch him take on the NBA's best the Kardashian family [Applause] little laugh around the room Kendall Jenner starting five would win the NBA championship every single year you know it you know it Jamal if they're in the bubble your ass is getting smoked dude Hitman love that stop talking about who's not here let's talk about who is here I look around the theater and it is packed to the gills with badass women in here you know my beautiful wife and I uh just gave well I didn't do it I think my wife gave birth to our first child two months ago a beautiful baby girl named Mackenzie she's two months old she just took her first trip pooping through Diapers at a rapid rate but that is not what this is about this is about whenever I look out into this crowd and see so many powerful and strong and trailblazing women I see a future for my daughter that I hope remains forever in this room tonight there are champions Bianca Bellaire from the WWE is here Becky Lynch is here from the WWE the fastest woman on skis the mountains have ever seen Michaela shipron is here tonight to all the other incredible women trailblazing for girls like my daughter to attempt to follow in their footsteps we appreciate the hell out of you here's to the badass women tonight at his glorious in closing the people who are being honored tonight or nominated tonight are the 0.01 percent of the 0.01 percent I'm not a mathematist but seems like a pretty special group to be in you don't just fall your way into that group there's commitment and dedication for a long part of your life there's High School parties that you don't get to go to there's college parties in a college life you don't get to live think about the Oklahoma women's softball team they've won 53 straight games three straight national championships do you think they're having a college life absolutely not hell yeah there's people in here that do crazy things to get their body from one game to the next there's acupuncture obviously we shove needles into your body to make yourself feel good sounds like a nightmare to me I never did it that's why I retired after eight years and got fat there's people that change their entire sleeping patterns there's people that live in a way that no fun is had so that they can show up for their teammates in as we've recently learned the all-time leading tackler for the Green Bay Packers said that he would actually drink his own urine every single day for his 12-year NFL career and it's that type of commitment in dedication to craft and sport that makes me hammer home the fact that I hope you genuinely have fun tonight I hope you genuinely reflect upon all your hard work in a manner in which it has been acknowledged and I hope you'll help me introduce the first presenters of the evening Saturday Night Live Superstar Heidi Gardner and two-time two-time Super Bowl champion and bank robber enabler Travis Kelson thank you for watching ESPN on YouTube for live streaming Sports and premium content subscribe to ESPN Plus

Channel: ESPN

Views: 849,543

Keywords: espn, sports, CapOneESPYS2023, Pat McAfee's opening monologue at the 2023 ESPYS, (📍 @CapitalOne ), 2023 ESPYS opening monolauge, 2023 ESPYS, Pat McAfee, opening monologue, 2023 espys, espys, espy awards, espys 2023, espys speech, espn awards 2023, espys live, espys live stream, espys highlights, pat mcafee espn, mcafee espn, pat mcafee espys, espys monologue, pat mcafee espys monologue

Id: JaGJhQNV7u4

Length: 12min 29sec (749 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 12 2023

Reddit Comments

[u/Roccostrat10]

Overall Pat did a great job with the allotted prep time, him killing AJ with the drinking the piss and everyone clearly being like WTF and Pat trying not to crack up was great lol

[u/thejeffroc]

Straight up called out AJ for drinking his own piss on national television 🤣

[u/Shamaster1]

8:06 "Kendall Jenner's Starting 5 would win the NBA Championship every year"

This part killed me when he went in on Jamal lmao

[u/johnnythrillwaukee]

Lots of inside jokes

[u/Ok_Barracuda5617]

I wish there was a video of AJ’s reaction.

[u/loud_milkbag]

Zion joke felt awkward and didn’t seem to get many laughs but otherwise well done. I appreciate the inside jokes

[u/Affectionate-Tip3752]

The fine folks!!!!!!

[u/Tomoomba]

Honestly better than I expected and you can tell Pat really is a good guy with the direction he decided to take his monologue. Just still it's not the type of speech I would've expected from Pat.

[u/LiAmTrAnSdEmOn]

Introduced as "ESPN's Pat McAfee" felt a little weird.