Pastor Paul Chappell: Becoming A Gracious Spouse

turn if you would to the book of Ephesians chapter 5 next Sunday we'll be preaching a message on the blood atonement of Jesus Christ as we consider the cross and what he did for us there and then the following Sunday of course we're going to be preaching on the resurrection of Christ but this morning we're going to finish our series on the Christian home I'd like you to stand together with me please as we turn to Ephesians chapter 5 let's stand together Ephesians chapter 5 and we're going to read in just a moment beginning in verse number 20 of our text and we're going to be preaching this morning on the subject of marriage and how to be a gracious spouse how many of you are husbands let me see where you are let's see alright alright how many of you are wives let me see where you are all right we're gonna preach to you husbands and wives this morning if you're not a husband or wife I give you my money back guarantee there's stuff in this sermon for you alright there's stuff for single moms and single dads and and young people that are still in college you're gonna learn about what God wants for you should he bring you together with a spouse someday so take good know some of us that are married now wish we would have taken better notes when we were younger right and so there's something for everybody here today and I'd like you to read with me as we turn to this passage beginning in verse number 20 and we're going to read down through verse number 29 for our text this morning and so follow along with me giving thanks always for all things unto God and the father and the name of our Lord Jesus Christ submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God wives submit yourselves unto your own husband's as unto the Lord for the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church and he is the savior of the body therefore as the church is subject unto Christ so let the wives be to their own husband's in everything husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word that he might present it to himself a glorious church not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies either loveth his wife with himself for no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it even as the Lord the church let us pray father we thank you for the sanctity of the Christian home we know that Satan attacks marriage we know that he has created counterfeit marriages and father we pray that you would help us to come back to the Bible and learn your will for marriage today may we keep the standard where you have established it for we believe your standard to be higher than any church to be higher than even the Supreme Court we believe that your word is the final authority for our faith help us to trust in it obey it and believe it this morning in Jesus name I pray amen you may be seated a good marriage is not something that happens accidentally it's not something that just comes together over time but a good marriage is a marriage that must be built by the grace of God it must be built upon the grace of God we learned a few weeks ago that all of us are called by God to be full-time ministers of grace and I want you to see that in the notes with me this morning from Ephesians 4:29 the Bible says let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth by the way no godly husband should curse let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth but that which is good to the use of what's the next word say edifying so God says instead of using language that tears people down I want you to use language that builds people up alright but then notice the next phrase the next phrase says here that it may Minister grace unto the hearers that it may Minister grace unto the hearers so God says in your relationships I want what you say to be ministering grace and grace edifies and grace builds and grace encourages so today we're going to learn how to be a spouse that is gracious how to be a spouse that is edifying in the home now how many of you have notice that in the world there's plenty of foul language plenty of cursing plenty of negativity people that are picketing people that are rioting how many of you believe that if you can't get some grace at home you're not gonna get it anywhere and God wants us to find our homes to be a place of grace now a lot of times in today's society because of all of the dysfunction many times people don't really understand or comprehend God is designed for the family and I had a couple of children recently that were asked some questions about marriage so one of them was asked how do you decide who to marry and one little boy named Alan he was 10 years old he said well you got to find somebody who likes stuff you like like if you like sports then she should like sports and she should like that you like sports and she should keep the chips and the dip coming I'm telling you that guy just had it on the market did me he just I mean ten years old he's got it down pat right and then there was Kristin she was age ten she said now no person really decides before they grow up we're they're gonna marry God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you're stuck with now hopefully she didn't get that from her mother right hopefully that's not being passed down from generation to generation then the other question was what is the right age to get married and Camille said 23 is the best age because you know that person forever by them not sure about that and then Freddie aged six says no age is a good age to get married you got to be a fool to get married so I'll tell you what these kids coming out there they're a little apprehensive about getting married well I want to speak to you this morning about God's plan for marriage and I want to tell you that if you follow God's plan he's gonna bless your home I've been blessed for 36 years to be married to a wonderful godly woman and I thank the Lord for a grace filled family and not every moment of every day has been filled with grace but when we're following God's Word and when we're filled with the spirit it's good in the chapel house and I want to share some principles with you on how it can be good in your house too the first way to have a gracious family life is to begin by serving you're going to have a gracious family when you begin this relationship not thinking what do I get out of it but what can I put into it how can I be a better servant toward my spouse and the Bible speaks of this in verse 21 it says submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God God says I want you to have a spirit that is a spirit of servitude now the Bible says in mark chapter 10 and verse 45 for even the Son of man came not to be ministered unto but to be a minister and to give his life a ransom for many how many of you are thankful that Jesus Christ came and gave his life for you amen he died on the cross for our sin and if you want to summarize today's message if every husband would be more like Jesus and never ever every wife would be more like Jesus we would have stronger families today because Jesus came to be a servant to be a minister to see the needs of our life and meet that need God calls us to be servants in the home and first of all he calls us to serve by yielding our own will by having a yielded spirit in verse 22 we read this famous verse to the wives wives submit yourselves unto your own husband's as unto the Lord now men if that's your favorite verse in the Bible number one you're dumb and number two find another one alright moving right along sometimes though that's my favorite verse the Bible well it's not even the men it's two wives alright so ladies here it is why I've submit yourself unto your own husband submit speaks of arranging under it speaks of yielding to another now let me tell you about this word because I know as soon as I speak about submitting to a husband they don't teach that at Antelope Valley College they don't teach that at the University you attended they don't teach that in society today that a woman is supposed to support her husband how utterly ridiculous the world says to that concept but let's just back up a minute and let me just share with you before we really delve into verse twenty-two that spiritual hearts do met spiritual hearts christ-like hearts are looking for the opportunity to yield and looking for the opportunity to come into God's order you say why do you say that well the Bible says in Ephesians 5:18 be not drunk with wine wherein is excess but be filled with the spirit when a person comes to the realization that they are a sinner and they say Jesus I know I'm a sinner and I ask you to come into my life and be my Savior at that very moment the Holy Spirit of God takes up residence in their life they are born again by the Spirit of God and God calls upon us as those who now have the Holy Spirit indwelling us he calls upon us to be filled with his spirit we're not to be filled with self in fact were to die to self we're not to be filled with our own agenda but were to desire his agenda we're to be filled with his spirit and God calls upon us as spirit filled Christians as Christians that are full of God that we would literally have hearts that are willing to submit to his will it doesn't matter if you're man or woman husband or wife your job in mind is to find God's will to find God's authority and get under God's Authority Andrew Murray said men ought to seek with their whole hearts to be filled with the Spirit of God without being filled with the spirit it's utterly impossible that an individual Christian or a church can ever live or work as God desires so a spiritual heart submits secondly a supportive heart submits someone that has a heart to support someone that has a heart to encourage is looking to yield and to help now let me pause and just speak to this issue ladies for a moment and men please understand this submission on the part of a wife does not imply intellectual inferiority there are several areas many areas where my wife is way beyond me intellectually there's just some area she has studied there there may be a few books in the Bible quite frankly that she has read and studied and written ladies Bible studies and we have wonderful fellowship and sometimes I well what do you think about that passage in Ruth and tell me about Naomi in her response there and there's just a lot of areas intellectually I think of mathematics I I loved history in English and I was all all into literature and so forth and she loved calculus and she loved all the upper math and so when the kids came to ask me questions in high school about calculus I'd say you know you might want to ask your mom you know and I never really let him know I didn't understand it all but I knew that their mom had better intellect in that area submission does not mean that a woman is spiritually less than her husband how many husbands here this morning would be willing to admit there have been some days when your wife had a stronger walk with God than you did any husbands want to admit that right now every smart husband has his hand up all right the rest of you will see what McDonald's later on this afternoon when the Bible says that a wife is to come under her husband's leadership it does not mean that she's intellectually inferior or spiritually something less how many of you know the ground is level at the cross all of us are sinners safe by the grace of God it simply means that of her own volition and of her own will and as unto Jesus she has chosen to follow her husband's leadership I love what Joyce Rogers a pastor's wife wrote about this subject she said to prove submission is a wonderful concept Jesus became the ultimate illustration of its validity although he was co-equal and coeternal with the father he was completely submissive to the father's will what an amazing statement how many of you believe and understand that Jesus Christ is co-equal with the father in all of his attributes of deity that's what separates Christianity from Islam from Jehovah Witness from Mormons and other cults we do not believe that Jesus Christ is just another one of the gods we do not believe that he's just some man that became God we believe that Jesus Christ is eternal God Father Son Holy Spirit equal and so Jesus Christ an equal person of the Godhead nevertheless voluntarily submitted his will to the Father as an example to all of for the way that we are supposed to live our lives God has called us to follow the Lord Jesus Christ and to love one another with that spirit now sometimes I know husbands take this passage way too seriously and I heard about a husband that got so into this Ephesians 5:22 it was creating conflict in the family it was like he wanted to read this verse all the time at family devotions and finally his wife got tired of it and she shared a little insight about her prayer life she said sweetheart I want you to know I've been praying that God would help us stop all of this arguing by taking one of us to heaven and when he answers my prayer I'm moving in with my sister I just want you to know that so I don't advise husbands that you quote this verse every time there's a little marital conflict in fact if you have to run around saying I'm in charge I'm in charge I'm in charge you may not be I'm just telling you that right now so what is a wife do when she has a husband though who doesn't obey the Bible he's not even a Christian maybe I mean how does a wife come under that and how does she operate in that context because that's real life isn't it well look what the Bible says in 1st Peter chapter 3 it says likewise ye wives be in subjection to your own husbands there it is again that if any obey not the word they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives while they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear now the word conversation if you see it there in your notes the word conversation by the way your notes are in the outline if you want to follow that word conversation means lifestyle okay so it means that if a wife has a husband that is not a believer that by her very lifestyle he can come under conviction and one day he can be won by the word one day he can see in her life enough to be convicted of the fact that he needs Jesus Christ as his Savior now probably about 25 years ago we started all of the adult Bible fellowships started getting formed at that time and and one of the classes that we decided to start we call them connection groups now they meet at 10 o'clock every Sunday morning one of them was called the ladies class and my wife taught the late glass and boom just immediately it seemed like there were several dozen ladies had their names on the roll of that class and they were attending and a lot of these ladies had husbands that weren't coming to church husbands that weren't saved husbands that were even critical of their faith and it was amazing because Terry did not teach them lessons on how to straighten out your husband you know how to how to get your husband to church she didn't teach them lessons on you know what to do to your husband she taught them lessons on how to be a godly wife and how to be a godly example and how to read the Bible and apply it to your everyday life and amazingly you'll never guess what started to happen there were these husband's that started coming into church and these husbands that started accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior because of these wives who were living out the gospel in front of them they became attracted to what the wife had there was one lady named Sean my vet and she attended for about ten years and finally her husband started coming kind of sitting in the back and actually you could tell he didn't want to be there I mean he had a furrowed brow you know you ever tried to preach to a guy like this I mean the body language is like all right go ahead give it a rip Punk you know they just kind of sew just not really they're in the spirit you know and and her husband Tony that's how he was he was in the back but then he kind of moved up a little more in a little more and finally Tony accepted Jesus Christ as Savior and I remember going up to Tony I said Tony what was it that finally brought you to Christ and this is what he said he said pastor every morning I watched my wife get up take out her Bible and read it pray every day she had such a wonderful spirit towards me and he said finally after watching her quietly live the Christian life in front of me I knew that I needed Jesus Christ as my savior why because of a wife who did her very best to support someone who didn't always deserve it but she did it for the Lord Jesus Christ himself and God blessed her with a Christian husband so we must serve by yielded nough stew the Lord and and as a wife yield to her husband God begins to honor that and then also we must serve by love for Jesus Christ let me just touch on this notice if you would in verse 22 wives submit yourselves unto your own husband's as unto the Lord now there's two quick lessons I want you to see before we leave this verse number one the Bible doesn't teach that a woman in general is in subjection to the male population all right that's not what it teaches it says unto your own husband okay so ladies the Bible says that in everything whether it's government whether it's the church or whether it's the home God is a God of order and in your home he has given this to you but not only do we see that you submit to your own husband a key to this whole passage verse 22 as unto the Lord let's say that together as simply stated because the obedient spiritual wives submission is ultimately to the Lord her attitude is that she lovingly submits as an act of obedience not primarily to her husband but primarily to the Lord every wife here would say there's days when my husband does not deserve my support but my lord is always worthy and so a godly wife as unto the Lord supports her husband how do we have a gracious spouse in the home how do you become a gracious spouse first of all through serving one another notice secondly this morning through sacrifice through sacrifice one towards another now motifs in verse 25 husbands love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it now I want you to notice as we turn the page a little bit to the husbands God calls the husband to lead by sacrifice and we see first of all this sacrifice involves a selfless love ladies hold on for just a second some of you that are going what in the world I got to submit he's just got to love just give me another minute I want you to see the kind of love we're talking about because the Bible says husband's love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it we're talking about crowns in the forehead and nails in the hands kind of love and God says I want husband's to love their wives with a selfless love I heard about a little girl that was asked what's the best picture of love you have seen and she thought about it she said well she said my grandmother has arthritis she can't bend over to put on her her toenail polish on Saturday nights before church and she said every Saturday night my grandfather who has arthritis to kneels down and paints her toes with the toenail polish an unselfish love probably my strongest mentor and ministry has been dr. Don Sisk dr. Sisk is now in his mid-80s he's been married to Virginia for more than 60 years all of you who've heard him love him you know him he loves missions he loves to see God's people get involved in missions and he loves to preach he's called to preach and there's something about the call to preach it just never runs out you just do it until God calls you at home and and he loves to preach but his wife is now experiencing her first or rather her third a tumor but this is the first talk time that the surgeon said we cannot do surgery on the tumor because of your age and so now Virginia's in her 80s with an inoperable tumor and this past week because of the tumors she began to experience hallucinations and she was passing out and for the past several weeks dr. sis who loves to preach has canceled his meetings he's not traveling he's not preaching out he's not seeing his friends he's staying at home he's ministering to his wife's needs and he's helping her to have food and he's helping to take care of her while she's in the bed and he's reminding her when the hallucinations come that that's not reality and he's loving her like Jesus would love her with a selfless sacrificial love this is something that happens husbands when we make the willful choice to do what God has called us to do Jesus said in John chapter 10 and verse 18 no man taketh my life from me I lay it down myself I have power to lay it down and power to take it up again listen the Roman soldiers did not put Jesus on the cross he voluntarily went to the cross of Calvary because he loves you and because he loves me it was a selfless kind of a love I heard about a couple that was having a heated discussion about family finances and they were being very selfish the husband finally got on one of these kind of a authority kicks and he said look he said I want you to know if it wasn't for my money you wouldn't have that television over there and if it wasn't for my money you wouldn't be sitting in that chair right now if it wasn't for my money it wouldn't even be in this house right here right now and she thought about it for a moment she said are you kidding if it wasn't for your money you wouldn't have me in here right now now folks I hope we're not staying together for the money or for the kids as noble as that might seem kids grow up and leave the home you better have something more than that in life God has called us to a selfless love it requires a willful choice it requires a devoted commitment Jesus said whosoever will save his life shall lose it and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it and the way to find the meaning of life is to learn to love the way that Jesus loves and so it's a selfless love God calls husbands to a selfless love but it gets deeper than that fellows so hold on a second and look in your notes he's called us also to a spiritual leadership and I have found that a Christian wife responds well to a spiritual leader in the home and noticed what kind of spiritual leadership verse 26 he that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word now let me give you the picture here the picture of marriage husband and wife is pictured in Jesus and the church Jesus and the church the church is called the Bride of Christ how many of you as a church recognize that we are to follow and submit to the Lord Jesus Christ and that Jesus purchased us with his blood and so this relationship between Jesus and the church is to be mirrored between the husband and the wife and Jesus provides leadership to the church and so in this verse he's saying the husband is to provide leadership in the home and specifically he says that as Jesus washes the church through the water of his word we are cleansed by the Word of God that the father and the husband is to provide spiritual leadership so that the Bible is so permeating in the home that the home is sanctified from the wickedness of this world so notice if you would in verse 26 it says that we are to be sanctified and cleanse with the washing of the water the word sanctify means to make holy or consecrated now how many of you have noticed that in the world in which we live there is much that is unholy and we notice that there are cable TV channels and we notice that there are old friends and we notice that there are situations at work that would pull us away from a lifestyle that is reflective of Jesus Christ our head that's why the word church at cleshea means a called out assembly how tragic that there are so many churches today that are looking more and more like the world and sounding more and more like a warmed-over rock concert and very little Bible is preached ladies and gentlemen the church is a called out assembly and we're to be distinct in this world you see but your home is to be distinct in this world your marriage is to be distinct in this world and so think about this matter of a consecrated life that the husband is leading toward not only producing a consecrated life but secondly producing a cleansed life notice in verse 26 that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of the water by the word that's why a husband should read the Bible in his home you say pastor I don't know how to do it I don't know where to do it some of you still get nervous just to pray for your lunch and by the way take those small steps in leading your home but you know it's okay to open your Bible with your wife in the morning and read a verse or two or three why because the Word of God cleanses your home wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his way and wherewithal shall we young man find cleansing by taking heed there unto according to the Word of God thy word have I hid in my heart that I might not sin against thee I think about our children going out to schools tomorrow oh how they need the Word of God to direct them from right and wrong and God wants our homes to be a place of spiritual direction Jesus praying to the Father said father sanctify them through thy truth thy Word is truth and words the only way that the church would be set apart in this world is by the Word of God and the goal of the husband is to lead by example in bringing his family around the truth of the word of God to ladies is back in the day were at a laundromat and they were sitting there kind of fixing up some pants and sewing up some pants and they were talking as they did it and one lady said my husband is so miserable he can't find anything good about our house he can't find anything good on television when we go to church he doesn't like the song director he doesn't like the pastor he just can't find anything good he is so unhappy and the other lady said well that's interesting she said my husband's so happy he likes to go to church we laugh all the way on the way home from church with joy in our heart and and he loves the pastor and he there's just joy in our home and and they were just kind of comparing notes a little bit and then suddenly it grew quiet as they were there in that laundromat patching their clothes got very quiet when they noticed that one lady was patching the seat of the pants and the other lady was patching the knees one lady had a praying husband one lady had a godly husband and she had a happy home and gentleman always remember that your home will be the reflection of your leadership your home will be the reflection of what's going on between you and the Lord and when there's something going on with you and the Lord and there's joy in your heart and joy in your life and your love in the Bible and you can't get enough preaching and and you're reading it at home listen it's gonna be reflected in your family because you as a spiritual leader are setting the tone so many times fail to say well my wife doesn't do this and she doesn't meet this need or that need and they never like it when I look him in the eye and say your wife is a reflection of the leadership you're giving in the home God has called you to lead in that place every couple needs to recognize that God has called us to a consecrated life to a cleanse life and every husband should care about that every husband should have a protective nature for his home that that the world would not invade but that this would be a place of Grace and a place of peace and in a place of order let me give you just a couple thoughts on on how to maybe set up some protective barriers in your home first of all let me encourage you set apart time every week to build your relationship that's what you did when you were dating that's what you did when you open the door for and and you were getting along in those early moments of relationship and make sure that even after you're married you have a date night where you sit down and you tell one another you love one another you listen to some of the needs that are going on in one another's life secondly let me encourage you with this as you make these protected protective barriers make the Word of God your final authority every family needs a final authority and I got news for you it's not the husband the husband's under authority - I'm under the authority of this book right here and you should also agree that in your home that the Word of God will be your final authority so many men their company's the final authority they'll move across the country for 50 cents you ought to determine to get yourself into the church where the Holy Spirit's working on your heart and where you're growing and get some roots in there and put your spiritual life before your your life of career and do what God has called you to do first and foremost but make God's words your final authority when you make major decisions get into the Word of God and pray and seek God's face and then thirdly agree on some boundaries of holiness agree on boundaries of holiness when I meet with our new members and the core class always tell them the same thing you're gonna hear some sermons that challenge the way you live some of you have heard a few things this morning that you maybe haven't heard in church and some sometimes people say you know you get kind of personal and you're preaching I don't know any other way to go hey folks if this Bible is not affecting the personal way you live I'm not really preaching this Bible is a change agent in our lives it's alive it's sharper than any two-edged sword piercing to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit it's a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart every time the Bible's preached something ought to happen deep within your heart that shows us we've got a change and we've got to grow and I'm saying this morning we need to grow in our marriage make sure you have some boundaries in your life Romans 13:14 but put on the Lord Jesus Christ and make no provision for the flesh to fulfill the lust of the flesh thereof how about this verse Psalm 101 3 I will set no wicked thing before mine eyes let's say that together man I will set that might affect the channels you have on you television and you sit down and talk about that and you talk about some of your friends and some of the stuff they do at parties and as a husband and wife you ask this question is going to that party going to help our marriage those are good questions and you sit down because the world is programming you through television and through the internet but sometimes we need to say Lord put a boundary around our marriage so that we're not taken way away from you in this world we want to live for you in this world and so make sure that you have some guidelines of accountability lots of couples in our church husband has one part of the password for the internet wife has the second part they've just decided we're gonna be together on the internet we're gonna know what's going on there make sure that you're working together in this matter of sacrificially living for one another and so we see that spouses gracious spouses serve one another gracious spouses sacrifice for one another like Jesus did and then notice finally this morning gracious spouses bring security into the marriage through security into the mirror you know one of the great things I love about being a Christian is that I never have to doubt the love of God for me I mean it's as simple as John 3:16 for God so loved the world he loves me husbands you don't want your wife wondering about that wives you don't want your husband wondering about that you want to build security into that family trust you want to elevate dependability so that you eliminate doubt you want to live your life like Jesus so that no one has to wonder about your love for the family now let me share a few thoughts on how to build security first of all through expressive love you build security through expressive love look at verses 20 and 29 so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies now some of you ladies go that's a whole lot of love right there pastor you just really don't understand it's not talking about the size of your husband okay what it's saying is God knows the ego that we men have and God knows that we want to take care of our headache I mean guys have headache but it's really not little it's a migraine and guys you know when we have pressure we don't have just a little we got a lots of pressure and and and and God says I know how you guys like to take care of yourself so I'm gonna put it down on the bottom shelf for you take care of your wife like you take care of yourself I want you to express your love to your wife and notice what he says here verse 29 no man ever yet hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it so God says the way you nourish and cherish yourself I want you to treat your wife in that way so first of all expressive love he uses the word nourish off' which means to provide for one's needs nourishment provides security nourishment is done with your talk it is done with your teaching it's a nourishing along the way of expressing your love to your spouse so one exhaustive study has shown that no woman has ever shot her husband while he washed the dishes in other words talk is cheap God says I want you to talk it but I want you to walk it I want you to be expressing your love to your spouse this is an expressive love but secondly there is an emphatic love there's an emphatic love because it says we're to nourish and then it says here we are to cherish and this speaks of fostering tender care you might cherish with your touch you might cherish with your tone there's a way to cherish there's a way to alienate Paul said in first Timothy to 7 but we were gentle among you even as a nurse cherish Ithorian in other words he loved the flock and and he cherished them he wanted them to know that he loved them and he said just like a nurse cherish if they're shut and I don't know about you but when I have to go into the nurse and get some blood drawn I want the cherishing type I'm telling you that right now I had to get some blood drawn the other day and I like it when they say ok mr. Chappel this isn't gonna hurt it's just gonna be a little little sting that's a good thing I like it when they say all right just put your arm out here and they they put that rubber band and I like it when they say oh you got a good vein I'm like yes praise the Lord for the good vein get the good pain right there hit it dead on I do not like it when they're like digging up didn't find it we'll get it here though and start digging around that's not a good thing and I've had some nurses that I think watched one too many episode of Godzilla when they were growing up they don't even try to find the good vein they just start poking and seeing what they can get all of us appreciate someone that has this spirit that's more along the nurturing cherishing side of things and husbands too many times we can come home from work and instead of showing emphatic love we're still fighting like we're on the commute we're still barking out orders like we were at work and God says I want you to learn how to nurture and how to cherish I want you to build security in that home and Terry I really believe married me in part because she sensed that other than the Lord she was number one in my life no one else mattered more and I made her to understand that in every way possible with notes and candy and Hallmark cards and everything else you could possibly imagine Precious Moments figurines we've got chests loads of those things why I was cherishing her I was letting her know that she was all to me the fact of the matter is that emotional love wears off but biblical love doesn't have to wear off I heard about a lady that went to visit her husband as he had just had a surgery and he was he was coming out of the anesthesia and he looked up and there was his wife and he said oh you're so beautiful she was so flattered she stayed there for a little while a little while longer he looked at her and said he said to her he said all he said you're so cute she said what happened to beautiful he said the anesthesia is wearing off I meet some couples like that you see the world's love wears off back in 1974 captain and Tennille really popular pop singers and they sang a song love well what keep us together all right we know some of you were in 1974 love will keep us together and it did until several years ago when they divorced the world's love can't keep you together God's love can keep you together and God says I want you to learn how to build a gracious Christian family now think of this as we close look at this slide here real quickly I want you to see it fellas slide here real quick there we go here we go a gracious spouse submits to the Lord sacrifices for loved ones and provides security through godly behavior all right let's have all the married men say this ready begin a gracious spouse submits fellas you sound like the third-grade class now we're gonna have to do better than that here lunch is coming but it could be a while just depending on how you help me right here all right all right I want the fellas all the married men fellas if you're not married pitch in help some of these guys here we go some of some of these married men can hardly speak right now so some of you single men help them here we go ready begin a gracious spouse okay this is what God calls us to do he says I want you to submit to the Lord and a part of that for a lady as submitting to her husband I want you to learn how to sacrificially love and then as you do that you're gonna provide security through your nurture and through your cherishing in the home now the wonderful thing about this as I close is that everything God tells us to do in the home he already has done for us through Jesus Christ so think about it for just a minute Jesus Christ submitted to the Father in the Garden of Gethsemane father if it be possible let this cup pass from me nevertheless not my will but what does he say so Jesus is the example of submission secondly he says I'm not only submitted to the Father but I sacrifice for you I went to the cross of Calvary I shed my blood for you and not only did I do that but all who accept me as their Savior are secure eternally secure in my hand no one can take you away from me you can never lose your salvation you are sealed by the Holy Spirit Ephesians chapter 1 and verse 6 God tells us then look to Jesus for your example he submitted he sacrificed he provides security now if you're here this morning and listening to this message and you are not 100% sure that if you died you would go to heaven you do not know in your heart of hearts that Jesus Christ is living within you then I want you to be encouraged with this thought you can't build a Christian marriage just with these principles you've got to have the Lord in your life helping you along the way giving you the grace if you're here today you're not sure that heavens your home you don't know that Christ is in your heart then I want to encourage you this morning to recognize that all of us are sinners who come short of the glory of God and that Jesus died for our sin he shed his blood so that our sins could be forgiven and he rose up again to prove that He is God and he's seated now at the right hand of God the Father and for whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved you can call today to the Lord Jesus Christ and ask him to come into your heart and save you now you can't do it for your wife you can do it for yourself and you can't do it for your husband you can do it for yourself but every individual here should have a spiritual birthday when you prayed and receive Christ as your Savior so that you can say from that day forward I know that I'm safe and on my way to heaven because Jesus Christ is my Savior and if you've never prayed that prayer I call upon you and encourage you today to trust Christ as your Savior and if you're a saved man or woman I encourage you to follow these principles for godly relationships gracious living in your home

Channel: Lancaster Baptist Church

Views: 5,100

Rating: 4.8846154 out of 5

Keywords: preaching, sermon, Christian, God, Jesus, Lancaster Baptist Church, Lancaster Baptist, Pastor Paul Chappell, Paul Chappell, marriage

Id: 5Ubt0C0vMlA

Length: 41min 32sec (2492 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 03 2017