Parents of Oxford School Shooter's Victims Rip Apart Killer in Victim Impact Statements

Nicole is the mother of Madison bul thank you good morning M if you could please State your full name for the record Nicole F thank you and is there something you wish to state to the court this morning yes I do thank you you make your seat ma' morning your honor Madison Baldwin a name that most didn't know prior to this horrific act but now a name that everyone has come to love a name that has brought so much Joy to the World your honor I know you haven't had the privilege to know her only of what what you've heard she is an old soul wiser Beyond her years at only 17 she has taught me more than I could ever thank her for having her young myself she made me the mother I am today she gave me the courage to be stronger a few key things about Madison was her laughter contagious smile intelligence passion kindness Fearless drive and determination she is the light when you need it most when the world gets dark she's the stars that small Beacon of light that is so far to see but up close burns like wild fire at times I catch myself missing these characteristics worried that I might forget them but then I realized she's here Madison lives in all of us her Legacy remains her kindness continues now and forever she will always be the heartbeat of our family on November 30th 2021 is a day that has forever changed my life it burns into my body like a cigarette burn enough to scar but always a constant reminder the day I found out that my daughter's life was taken a life that was still so young and full of life after that day she became a statistic a victim a planned Act of tragedy How Could my daughter be summarized in such intrusive manner how could these now be her associations I would like you to know that these accusations are false I would I will not allow her name to be followed by the phrase Oxford shooting victim she will be remembered by her name a name that is loved unconditionally one that is has no hidden remark the strong name we gave her madison when I received word that the school was under attack my daughter had already been gone for over an hour this I didn't know while driving into a designated area pretty much on autopilot waiting for the unknown as I paced the Meyers asking where my daughter was all I received was blank stairs as the remaining kids re re reunited with their families we were left there in silence waiting for the answer answers that we are still waiting for next thing I hear can the family of Madison Baldwin follow me as I walked into the room I felt this chill come across to my body so cold that I felt it in my bones I pleaded not to go in but following command the words we heard were I don't have good news on these three children they are deceased the sheer blunt statement could destroy you to the core I was completely paralyzed I felt every scream that I ca that came from my body I felt every breath I took was fading my mind was in a state of dementia and then my body drops to the floor we were literally suffocating suffocating together in disbelief replaying those words in my head within seconds I thought did I hear them right I was definitely misinformed the sobs came from a deep part in me SE tears soaked the cold floor I laid on I managed a few calls but conversations I've blocked out leaving for the substation I stared out the window looking for for her but replaying those words in my head my mind and heart were literally in two different places the rest of the night was excuse after excuse on why I couldn't take I couldn't be taken to my daughter I needed to see her I needed to prove that the information was not meant for me but all I was offered was a table the next day at the medical examiner's office to identify her getting back back home felt like forever I had to tell her 11-year-old sister at the time that her best friend was gone Payton screams will forever haunt me and when she asked me that simple question why as a mom I didn't have the answer the next morning I was on my way to prove somebody wrong at the medical examiner's office in my head it wasn't going to be her as I walked down the corridor I entered into a room with a steel door and a small glass window I couldn't move my feet I couldn't get close enough to look but when I remembered I was there to prove somebody wrong I looked through the glass my scream sh should have shattered it my daughter's lifeless body was laying on a cold metal gurnie I remember her hand laying out from underneath the sheet and her fingernails were blue blood smeared in her hair and they made sure I saw her from a side that was more acceptable for a grieving mother that was not my daughter Madison was far from lifeless as I banged on the door demanding to touch her I lost my ability to stand I was dragged away from her I was not allowed to touch my own daughter I was not allowed to hold her hand and just let her know I was there it's a feeling that no parent should ever feel but that's my baby I deserved the right to be with her but I was not allowed instead I was dragged away from her screaming like a toddler saying profanities in the most ignorant way that is when I realized I could no longer deny it I didn't want to admit I was wrong I didn't want to visualize a moment without her I didn't want to believe she was gone but it hit me like a semi TR I knew her dreams were no longer the future but only dreams your honor I thank you for the dedication to this infuriating act I admire your knowledge of the law and the stance on to listening to all keeping your composure and consistency throughout this sentencing I thank you for the clear representation of your courtroom I thank you for the countless hours that has that this has taken from you and your family's life to give the best possible judgment I thank you for being a human being to the prosecution and Advocates Karen Mark David and countless others I thank you for the constant efforts to keep my daughter's legacy alive the righteous hours the rigorous hours that have consumed you your non-stop actions to make sure all facts are given appropriately your compassion for our family Jen my Advocate and others Advocates I thank you for picking me up on some of my worst days Days in moments that I thought my life was not valuable keeping me sane during every moment even when weakness was at its worst you all have remembered my daughter and kept her spirit alive in the most PR presious manner thank you for taking away from your life to get Justice for her life and lastly thank you for doing the unthinkable the tragic the raw the vulnerable and infuriating moments when I know it breaks you inside to make sure that we are slightest the slightest bit okay to make sure we continue that we remember and that we keep fighting for justice to the waste that took my daughter's life that name will never come out of my mouth that life will cease to exist to me and just like trash it will be forgotten so while the attention that he has been seeking for this horrendous crime you will get no reaction from me but again this is the life he chose if he really wanted to make a different outcome he would continue to he wouldn't continue to make the excuses he does now the suffering will come when he least expects it the regret will consume you as you sit alone with the only voice only voices in your head guilt would eat away at your soul this might not happen tomorrow next year or 10 years but it will happen as you get older you will realize the path you've chosen and it will haunt you just like the idol that you admire so much both of you forgotten in the system and when these emotions flood into your body like you're bleeding out no one will be there to save you no one will forgive you your hand will not will no longer be held as you claim in sanity your outb Outburst for attention will go unnoticed no one will love you and no one will come as I don't wish death upon you that would be too easy I hope the thoughts consume you and they replay over and over in your head the thoughts won't stop I'm sure you heard that paraphrase before I hope the screams keep you up at night and they cause real hallucinations you won't be able to write it on paper for the attention that you so badly seek those four walls become your home suffocating and guilt it will come I promise you I'm happy you decided not to be a coward that day and take your own life I much rather you stick around to see what the life you have chosen for what suffering really feels like and that your significance is not above anyone else I truly feel sorry for you that you thought this would be a better life choice so your honor I have chosen forgiveness we live in a world where forgiveness is not deserved but needed forgiveness a word that holds so much controversy what does it really mean to me forgiveness is an encouragement it encourages me to forgive the things that are out of my control I have chosen to forgive I have chosen to forgive for myself and some that might seem weak or giving in it's my new joury Journey with Madison because honestly that is who she was and that is what she would have done I no longer carry that burden it does not define me it does not F Define her or it does not define our family I forgive myself for the grief that at times felt like multiple stab wounds but managed to survive I forgive myself for the weak moments of fear of the world around me the time it's taken from my family and loved ones time I will never get back I forgive myself for not allowing joy and happiness in my life to reflect and to learn I forgive myself for any anger that raged inside me and took out I took out on the ones I love in hopes that this would destroy me or suffering would be unbearable you failed I'm so much stronger than you and your weakness consumes you I don't choose to forgive the destructive n nature that caused her death forgiving is a choice I choose not to forgive you for the choice you made this is exactly what you wanted this is not a life that I would ever want to live what this is done is ignited the light that I thought I lost Madison's light your honor I hope you stamp his faith with whatever fate that might be to continue to live the life sentence that he researched that his life sentence is the same as my life sentence I received as a life sentence that I cannot escape from day by day passes I hope his life seems more meaningless lost and forgotten so when my time comes and I will never worry if our past or Fates will ever meet again but when our true day of judgment comes my Justice will be served that this that his life sentence will continue so that he may live in his own personal prison for eternity with no one waiting for him I can only wish him the best on his new life and the rep repercussions that follow your honor as I close this chapter and I start a new one I would like to make one thing clear these actions did not break me I am not broken I am just rearranging the pieces I am surviving each day navigating this journey celebrating the good and learning from the bad choosing happiness forgiving when needed and when it's deserved I am living I'm living because of my baby girl Madison thank you thank you first off now sorry for your loss thank you for your statements this morning showed a lot of strength and encourage so I appreciate thank you good morning sir if you could please State your PO name for the reference for your last name good morning my name is Craig Schilling s i l l i n g thank you thank you for being here sir is there a statement that you wish to make uh yes your honor um but before I make my written statement I like to have a candid moment with y'all um to to try and directly convey to you that this statement has been the hardest thing I've ever written in my life uh you guys have the uh condensed version 15 minutes or so but it took me months and months and months and I've swam through raw emotions trying to get this done so thank you for letting me be here well absolutely sir thank you I'll begin now honorable Judge row I am here before you today as a direct result of the horrible crimes that were committed back on November 30th 20 2021 the day that my son was murdered for the longest time and for reasons I do not care to mention here today I did not know if I was was going to be able to do this you see on that day my life was torn apart and for a while thereafter I struggled with dark thoughts and found myself completely lost in a seemingly Endless Sea of raging emotions with no care as to what happened to me grief had consumed me and has squeezed out every bit of joy and happiness in my life still today it's uncertain if I'll find my way back the events that took place that day have rocked three generations of my family and has altered our future forever these days there's not much happiness in the holidays birthdays and those Milestones days don't carry with them the special feeling they always used to life used to flow at some sort of Rhythm and balance and the continuity within our family was evident there were Gatherings vacations and funfilled events what I feel most would deem your typical family situation that continuity and all that came with it were lost on the day that my son was murdered like a SED electrical line the flow was no longer there instead we fallen into the darkness still in shock in total disbelief over the fact that this actually happened to us completely blindsided we've been carrying on with more questions than answers and left to deal with the ders of emotions we've never experienced before one could venture to say that there are no words that can accurately describe the pain that we feel on a daily basis I have PT PTSD and struggle most days to even get out of bed anxiety stress sleepless nights and uncontrolled emotional artbreak breaks make even the simplest most normal things difficult scattered thoughts raw emotions and that uncomfortable elephant and the room feeling I get with everyone I interact with cause substantial uneasiness and affect everything I do the things I used to find enjoyment in are no longer reliable in that respect and are done to merely have a feeling of something normal golfing bowling ball games hunting fishing camping kaying are just a few of the activities I used to do with Justin that seemingly will never have the same effects on Me based solely on the fact that he's not there to do them with me I've always operated on the premise that if you get the kids into the things that you like to do that you'll have those things in common forever and we'll always have a way to spend some quality time together even it's even if it's just for a quick nine or an hour on the boards blowing out a few Pockets Father's Day forsome with my three kids out on the link was something I've been looking for forward to for a long time but we'll never have this unfair reality is something I will never get over day-to-day life goes on for so many but in the clutches of grief and heartache the difficulties are real and has so many side effects it almost feels like time slows down and everything around you speeds up it's been two years already but feels much like yesterday I still find myself waiting up for him to get home from so we can get a few minutes to chat as it was often the only time we'd have that chance to it's unbearable to know that he's never going to walk through that door never in a million years did I think that something like this was going to happen to me although we all know the unfortunate real possibility that this can happen to anyone anywhere anytime there's absolutely no way you can prepare yourself for this level of pain it doesn't matter how much you think you've prepared or how strong you are or how big your support network is is you have you have this level of pain and it's truly debilitating and it takes you out having seen news reports and documentaries on tragedies of this nature I don't feel it uncommon at all to watch in horror and disbelief that something like this could actually happen and I've done what I believe many others have done on and let have thoughts of how I might feel or act if something like this ever happened to me well now that it has happened I can 100% assure you that the worst thoughts or feelings you may have do not hold a candle to how it actually feels for centuries man has exploited Thea The Fragile nature of the human being and over the years have developed many many ways to inflict pain torture and kill millions and millions of of human beings have met their Fates by way of such devices as we have all learned in school there is a full spectrum of reasoning Behind These perversions although throughout history those reasons have been widely understood the sheer brutality of Senseless violence has never sat well with the human psyche so we have evolved till now and in our modern society we have established laws and regulations to essentially protect ourselves from ourselves however as it seemingly always the case there are those for reasons we may never know who wish to defy the now widely recogniz and greed upon state of human decency and can continue to commit such senseless acts of violence in my opinion it takes a deeply Disturbed individual to leave the compass of basic human decency the act of taking another human being's life is not only exasperating but extremely selfish and unjust I believe that once an individual crosses the boundaries of basic humanism and admittingly maliciously kills another person that IND individual should meet the same fate unfortunately based on the laws that govern our land this has been deemed inhumane and is wiely frowned upon in modern society so in L of EX execution I feel strongly that the individual should never be allowed to walk among his peers again this is why I'm going to ask you to lock this son of a pitch up for the rest of his pathetic life his blatant lack of human decency and disturbing thoughts on life in general do not in any way warrant a second chance my son doesn't get a second chance and neither should he this individual has proven by carrying out these heinous and completely unnecessary acts of violence that he should never consider be considered fit to rejoin a society that despises this exact Behavior his very name should be condemned recognized only by by his cowardly vile and malicious Defiance of human law now with all that being said I'd like to direct my comments toward this disgusting individual that I speak of he sits across the room for me at this very moment dressed in Orange emotionless although I'm sure he may have a half-baked idea of just what I'd like to do to him I'm not quite sure he has adequately envisioned the exact nature of this idea I'd really like an opportunity to physically show him how much pain he has caused me and my family but in a civilized society governed by complex laws such as ours this type of display is not permitted but you can rest assured you piece of shit that baby bird screams would pale in comparison to the screams that you would exude if I were only able to show you but luckily for you they won't let me so I will hope hope with every bit of hope I have left that with every passing thought or memory you have about what you've done you remember my statement and take time to imagine it happening and recognize it in the worst way possible I've tried to put myself in your shoes and over and over tried to imagine what could have possibly been so horrible in your life to have caused you to commit these crimes I actually thought long and hard and can come up with no logical EXP ation the fact is that what you did was reprehensible and completely unnecessary you see we use things called words to convey our thoughts and our concerns and our opinions sometimes those words we share with Excuse me those time sometimes those who we share our words with don't hear them or choose to not listen but this is no reason to throw a tantrum and do the wrong thing you simply have to speak louder and to more people until you get the results you desire life is not easy in any sense of the word it often feels cruel and unfair but you what you have obviously overlooked is the fact that life is the most precious gift each and every one of us receive and you have completely wasted yours you said you wanted to be remembered as a person who committed the biggest shooting in Michigan history and this may be true but I will have it entered on file at this time on this day for the world to know forever that Ethan Crumbley should be remembered as the biggest coward in in Michigan history an individual who unfairly prays upon unsuspecting and helpless lives without the courage to meet their same fate a truly detestable and ignominious excuse of human being now my last words for you before I conclude is that I truly hope your new roommates welcome you in properly and show you the kind of treatment you can only get on the inside as it's clearly all you've ever wanted and in my and is my hope that there is some kind of pain involved I also think that as you rot away lamenting over your wasted life you should take time to ponder the fact that all you though you may have taken four lives the selfless gesture of organ donation by my son saved at least five lives thus overshadowing your delusions of grandeur and effectively nullifying all that you feel you've accomplished do in that for a while and maybe you'll realize that as long as there are good people in the world willing to selflessly give of themselves to help others evil will never Triumph my final thoughts are directed towards everyone else it is with every bit of my heart that I offer all who have helped my family over the course of the last couple years the sincerest thank you the sheer magnitude of humanitarianism and good will that came in from all over the world has been humbling and has gone a long way to showing me there is still good out there I strongly believe that it resides within each and every one of us that it is our responsibility as human beings to let our goodness shine onto everyone we interact with whether we like them or not because the way we treat each other both directly and indirectly affects the lives of more people than you can imagine not to mention it's simply easier to do I beg of you all please be kind to one another and P your energy towards walking the path of the righteous and do your part to help eliminate these types of tragedies thank you for listening this morning I wish you all a very BL

Channel: Law&Crime Network

Views: 35,114

Keywords: law and crime, law and crime network

Id: yypvRuVFDHM

Length: 28min 56sec (1736 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 08 2023