Our Relationship Was Built On Lies! | KARAMO

all right welcome back friends my next guest says her relationship was built on lies she claims when she first met her man he lied about being a former NFL player owning rental properties and having much much more money than he actually did but she still fell for him anyway and soon got pregnant with his baby she's here to fix their unhealthy relationship so please everyone help me welcome Natalie to the show [Applause] good to meet you take a seat Natalie thank you so all right we gotta start off okay your man lied to you and you started relationship off on the LIE a lot of lies tell me about that so to start the owning a few houses and renting them out he does not have none of them got it um then we have the minor mention of being a former NFL player um and he'd never played in the football never officially on the team oh we can ask him for clarification but no no there's some other things like you know with his former relationship status things um so he would say he's single but he was not well I'm not totally sure he was unemployed for some reasons and so I was supporting him you were supporting him uh-huh giving him money paying the bills of my house and we have uh four kids between us I have two he has two got it um and you have one together yes so how long have you actually been together like almost two years but this last two years have been very muddy and confusing and what made somebody in confusing you know just like lots of he was not ready to give up the relationship I was like I'm done with not trusting you um good for you how did you feel when you got pregnant with her oh wow I was I was so overwhelmed I was devastated and you know I have because at this time did you know about the lies or did you were believing that I hadn't but it had gotten really toxic between us and so I knew I should not be with him I was terrified though so your marriage was riddled with in the past was riddled with a lot so you brought that over of course yes okay what kind of trauma and pain um well I would say it goes way back to you know as a child I was raised um Christian and you know with a very heavy emphasis from all my community on a purity and Purity culture and so like I went into my marriage as a virgin like I thought my body was the biggest thing I could offer my husband right and so that really messed up my mind and so because I taught myself all through my life to shut down my sexuality so I could be a virgin on my wedding night that ended up bringing up a whole bunch of dysfunction in my marriage and then we ended up we were never a match anyway so we you know got a divorce but that still carries like to today I still have a lot of stuff to Wade through with that trauma have you had a lot of relationships in your life um I got married at 20. so I was married until I was 26. met Kevin six months later so we're way not so this is really like your only second relationship yeah yeah I mean yeah yeah are you two together kinda unsure not sure but you want to be back together maybe maybe yeah um I can see a piece of you still holding on right because it's like there's nothing to repair I feel like we actually need to start brand new but you can't really do that either because we it was all dysfunctional because they're all messy it was all broken today do you trust Kevin oh Define trust um I trust that he loves me I trust that he loves his kids and wants the best for his kids over the course of us being together I've had a number of friends let me know like they you know saw his profile on dating apps there's somebody who needs to be here so everyone you want to meet Kevin yeah so let's go ahead and meet Kevin Kevin come on out [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Kevin thank you for being here man yeah listen take a seat yes sir I gotta start off Kevin do you think you're a liar I was I was I was Grandma um I I honestly she was six months out of her divorce I didn't think she was looking for no relationship I was out of my relationship recently so I was just like oh single mom divorced mom shoot she's ready so you know that's what so why did you tell her lies in the beginning because I didn't think we were going to make it that far so I was like who cares are you together or not no no no no no no the title is no no we're not together you're not together do you want to be together I do you do I do why do you want to be with this woman she got me with them I see blue eyes smooth talker this one she she got me she got me you know and uh her personality you know the way she is the woman The Way She carries herself Kevin has Natalie ever betrayed your trust she has in what way she led me on to believe like things were good and golden and that we were eye to eye and working on something and it turned into her going out with her friends and that turns out to her you know meeting other people talking other people all while I'm trying to be you know we were broke up yeah so in Mexico she stepped with someone else yeah okay and in your relationship have you ever cheated no never once at all okay why do y'all why do y'all why do y'all make that noise y'all don't believe it jeez no I think I think I think it's pretty interesting yeah I want to hear what they have to say because part of this is important for me to get their comments and understand what's going on so all right so why do you believe that he was cheating um it just seems like you lied about everything else so I mean just yeah that's just what yeah so do you believe he doesn't have he has a shady character probably yeah yeah regardless of if you're gonna pick another person for a day or started with that premise and you kept it going like I wonder how long did you take until you told her the truth he didn't tell me the truth I dug it up while pregnant so so I think the biggest thing is you're here in the audience saying like a dog doesn't change his coat like you're the same person how do you respond to that well uh good thing is I have got my help you know I have gone through therapy um I am concurrently going so why haven't you told her the truth yet though no he yeah since I was pregnant I broke up with him while we were pregnant which was a whole other mess of drama and uh I started digging like looking up the addresses I don't know why I didn't do that earlier because I was like look I can't pay you should have done that earlier because no one has to get into relationship and start and being now I'm a pi yeah so I wonder what else do you two argue about at home oh man um we definitely argue about parenting we'd parent differently and what is the parenting Styles how are they different so I come in um you know we got I got the old strict strict dad those rules you know what Dad says goes and she's more of a softer gentle let's talk about it let's be more understanding and you know it should be yeah what Dad says like if I come in I'm saying boys clean up your room they clean up the room you know when I came to if they don't clean up their room they're getting yelled at shamed a little bit okay and then when she's like clean up your room they said no you do it they don't say that that's not true that's not how we do this you know that's not how it rolls when we say when we're the parents we know better so you know that was the way that I was raised you have kids I do you're talking about co-parenting yeah what would you do if your kids picked up this secretive lying Behavior um I would be angry I'd be really angry just because you know um I want my boys to be able to express themselves I want them to do that in a certain way though I want them to be like you know man enough to be able to tell the truth and stand with it you know because that's something that obviously you know I struggled with so you have a woman right here who now you've gone to a place who has trust issues from a past relationship you know for a fact she hasn't been a lot of relationships so she doesn't have experience and so you're using that to your advantage but I think based on what you just said is that you actually do want to be a better man I do what do you think with the first steps to be a better man for her would be well of course first I've been in therapy if it's ever since uh uh what November of 20 so amen yeah [Applause] my my therapist he's he's my that's my guy he is um so what could you say to her now now that you know that where because I only brought this up so you could see where the behavior started because sometimes we got to go back we got to reel it in so that we can figure out how we're moving forward what do you think you need to do now knowing that you don't want your kids to do this Behavior to some other woman what do you got to say to her absolutely definitely got a man up and just say you know I apologize for how I came into this situation I apologize for lying to you like you didn't matter to me will this couple reconcile your question is should y'all get back together ah I don't know have you ever cheated no why do y'all why do y'all why do y'all make that noise y'all don't believe it I have gone through therapy what do you think you need to do now knowing that you don't want your kids to do this Behavior absolutely definitely got a man up and just say you know I apologize for how I came into this situation I apologize for how we got started which is how which is by lying to you um treating you like you know like your word wasn't like you didn't matter to me um and then also just taking advantage of you in our situation boom that's it have you ever heard him say they took advantage of you um I feel like we actually got an argument the other day because I said I felt taken advantage of and you said you felt taken advantage of yes I do so yeah so now so now because he's finally he's giving you a vulnerable spot yeah he just said he took advantage of you yeah yeah thank you for that yeah yeah thank you I only brought that up is because you weren't wrong you know what's better even though you have been a lot of relationships you know what's better you know what's wrong you know what you don't deserve oh yeah I do I sure do and so I say that to say even though this is a Charming Man a handsome man we can all see it you're also a Charming beautiful woman and you deserve to have time to learn more about what you want yes your question is should y'all get back together I want you to go ahead now that you've gotten the answer that this man you already knew he was lying to you but he said I took advantage of you I believe you'll learn how to co-parent because this man is stepping up he wants to be there I know you're a good mom I know y'all gonna figure that out and sometimes having good guy bad guy it works in a household y'all will figure out the reason y'all can't get communication right is because y'all still are healing from all y'all been through so that's why your communication is muddled but you heard him say I took advantage of you what decision do you get to make now because when someone takes advantage of you they take away your choices so what choice do you get to make now um make us proud girl yeah I mean don't tell me I feel like this has been the limbo that we've been in for two years of like is it possible to like build something brand new because I do I do love you and I do have a special connection with you you know and so ah I don't know like how do you even figure that out how do you figure out if there can be trust Bill how do you figure that out I don't know it's terrifying well the thing is is that in this relationship trust is not going to be rebuilt but can it be he's just not his head he does not is that it's not going to be rebuilt okay you got to move on you got to move on you don't think it's you don't think it's possible I'm only going off of healthy and unhealthy behaviors can we see the unhealthy behaviors boom lack of commitment lied about being in the NFL lied about money lied about owning property you just heard him say take advantage of you these are things that are so unhealthy the foundation is broken you can't build a house on a foundation that's broken also you need time for yourself you need time for yourself the beauty of what you have right now is a great guy who's going to co-parent and I actually believe that therapy is doing the work he's doing the acknowledgment you have Kudos Kudos no you you did wrong in the past I'll give you kudos for that because you you came here to say should we moved back in together or get back together and I'm telling you the answer is no but the thing is is you have to have the courage to say to him that we cannot be back together hold on a second now hold on hold on hold on a second I want to ask okay what you got you got you guys think that somebody just can't get better you think that somebody can't help themselves like I obviously really want this because I held on to it I did the work of getting into therapy to get myself better hold on let me tell you something you didn't hear five minutes ago I gave you props for doing that I didn't talk none about you I said she needs to do the work it's her turn now you have a lot more work to do and the thing is you need more time yeah but until you have the courage to say I need more time we can't be together I promise you you're going to be in a pattern that's going to make you unhappy and I think you're ready to deserve happiness are you ready to be happy of course do you know what real happiness feels like I I'm not sure and that's the reason why you need more time because if someone to ask me right now do I know what real happiness feels like I'm gonna tell you yes I do yeah you feel me all right everyone come back next time friends so we can keep talking and growing I love you all come on where you going I'll tell you where you're going right here to subscribe and right here to watch more period

Channel: Karamo Show

Views: 228,272

Keywords: Karamo

Id: QK_Bd-YT9wQ

Length: 14min 47sec (887 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 04 2022