*classical music* Welcome back master, young lady. Welcome to @home cafe Welcome back master, young lady. M: *gasp of excitement* M: I'm so excited! M: How about you, Simon? S: Yeah... M: We are at our very first maid cafe in Akihabara M: and they're doing a special Gudetama event so, it's like, double exciting! M: We have adorable maids everywhere who are going to feed us Moe Moe food M: and then on top of that, there's like Gudetama hanging around M: a-and we can take pictures with them M: and this is the most exciting magical day ever and Simon is a little bit overwhelmed right now. S: I don't think I- I appreciate this enough yet? S: But um, Martina's really having a good time M: YOU CAN BUY CURRIES IN THE SHAPE OF PUURPIES!!! M: PUPPIES!! [The menu offers both alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks] [Savoury food with custom drawings...] [And adorable desserts!] *explaining menu in Japanese* S: Alcohol, thank you, I'm gonna be needing alcohol! *explaining menu in Japanese* M: Thank you! S: Okay... S: So, my first mistake is S: I should have drank before coming here M: I'm just so pleased right now M: I'm pleased and I'm excited and I'm happy M: and I don't think I can eat anything on the menu M: It's so pretty M: I'm gonna get like a pink puppy curry M: And I'm just gonna stare at it S: Okay, I'll... I'll... I'll eat anything. I just- M: Okay S: What's happening with my life right now? M: We're gonna pick something M: And then we're gonna ring the bell. S: How did I end up in this situation S: Right now? M: This is the best situation ever! S: What life choices have I made M: We're gonna get M: The extra large Polaroid too! S: That have geared me towards S: This situation? Mom, Dad M: Good Tama-chan(?) S: Where, where did we S: How did we get here? [Goofy Music] [Sad Music] M: If I stood up beside them, it would be like M: This and then it would be like Godzilla Martin-- Heheh-- or something M: Okay. Pass me the menu; I need to order something! M: What do you want? S: Do they have scotch? M: Scotch straight on the rocks. S: Just straight scotch. Just leave the bottle at the table. S: I'm gonna get a Screwdriver. M: Okay. Simon's gonna get a Screwdriver. S: Can I ask them to substitute the orange juice for more vodka? M: No. Accept it. [Funkay Music again] [Bell rings] M: The hot mocha latte. Maid: Hai M: Hai M: Hitotsu (One). Maid: Hai M: Hai. Umm... M: The green tea latte. S: And uh Screwdriver. Maid: Oh! Maid: Screwdriver S: Screwdriver, yup. S: Okayy Maid: Oh! Okay! S: Nice. M: Okay! S: Mhmmm S: Pink curry sets? Maid: Ohhhh! M: With the magic. S: Magic! I'm ready for magic!... Okay Maid: [Talking about hair?] M: Oh, this is amazing! Maid: [Speaking Japanese] M: Wolverine! S: Wolverine Maid: Ovary? M: Wolverine S: Wolverine S: Wolverine M: X-men! S: X-men S: I don't think she knows Wolverine M: Thank you [In Japanese] M: Her hair is amazing! S: I say give it twenty minutes and they might offer Martina a job here. M: I don't speak enough Japanese, but I'm just saying I like everyone's clothing and hair... And tiny sizes M: Should I let them know it's your birthday today? M: Or do you wanna keep that a secret? S: F@#k, please no. S: I'm usually very comfortable in restaurants. This is the one place I just wanna be like S: Okaay, you just go do your thing. [Sad Music] Simon's inner thoughts: What the f@#k am I doing here? Why am I filming this video? M: Hang in there. You've got one that's gonna involve a lot of interaction M: Don't make them feel sad when they-- S: I'm not gonna! M: Don't you make them-- Don't you put that curse on me, Ricky Bobby! M: You make sure that you are as happy as possible, okay? All three of you need to be-- M: Whose the third person? I don't know. I'm speaking in third person now! It's happening! M: I'm becoming one of them. [Robot Voice] The hive mind is starting! M: Captains log: Simon has fallen into a state of confusion M: He doesn't know what to expect, being here S: What am I doing with my life? M: So much clapping and happiness and laughter M: Isn't it wonderful? S: Yeah... S: It's great... [Cheerful Music] [Confused Music] [Cheerful Lalala Music] [Confused Alien Music] [Back to cheerful] M: There are all these people with these, like, adorable desserts and they're, like, very manly looking, and they're M: Like, digging into their marshmallow rabbit sundaes. M: And it's wonderful M: What should I do? What should I draw on my omurice? M: The stress is too real! M: What should I have? S: [Basket] Balls M: No, I can't do that. You two have a poor attitude considering that you're boys and everybody here are cute girls! M: What is your problem? S: I'm a married man! I'm accounted for. S: No woman has any effect on me apart from my loving wife! Okay? S: That's a damn fine answer and you know it! M: Okay, so here's the deal. You can choose a polaroid picture to take of people, and they ask you for your nickname. M: And so Simon is 'Honey-Senpai' M: And I'm 'Sailor Moon' M: And Dan is 'Princess Panda' M: So when we hear our names being called, we've gotta go up, and we've gotta pose with them for a photo [Chill Music] [Sad Music] [Dan sighs] Dan's inner voice: H-How did this happen? How- How have I got here... In my life? D (inner voice): What has led up to this point... Cause... This doesn't feel right Nothing... feels... good... here [Picture Noise] M: Woooooow! Thanks [In Japanese] M: Awwwww yeeeahh! S: Wow. That girl looks like she's like twelve compared to you! M: Thanks Simon! S: You just, like... M: You've ruined my life! S: I'm just saying-- M: What are you doing with your hands?! M: You just-- you just look and your hands got wider and wider! S: I d--- heh [mumbles]--- she's so small M: So you're saying I'm big?! S: You-- no you-- girl, you got curves is what you got. M: You are digging a hole, mister M: You are digging that hole! S: Hey, I like curvey-- M: Keep it up-- Maid: Okayy. Drinking. Drinking. M: Hai Maid: Okay... Sketch M: Hai! Maid: ... Or bunny... or M: Usagi! Bunny Maid: Bunny? M: Yes! Maid: Okay S: Aww, that's a great bunny M: That's a really good bunny [Funky Music again] Maid: [Talking about doing magic in Japanese] M: They're gonna make it pink for you. S: Oh, okay! M: Okay [Flashback Dialogue] M: You've got one that's gonna involve a lot of interaction. S: Okay... M: Don't make her feel sad when they-- S: I'm not gonna! M: Okay Maid: [Magic instructions in Japanese] Maid: [More magic in Japanese] [Simon follows] S: Ehhhh, okay S: Yah! yeah... M: Okay, ready? You're gonna repeat her S: Okay... Maid and M: 3,2,1... Simon and Maid: [Japanese] S: OH! Maid: Woah! S: OH! Maid: Wooaaahh S: Oh! S: I think it-- Magic! Maid: Tung! S: OOhhhhhhhhhhh! S: I--It worked! M: You're a wizard, Harry! S: Oh, wow! S: Oh! S: I f--I felt the magic! M: Yes! S: Ohhh Maid: Moe... moe... kyun M: Moe... moe... kyun! Okay S: Okay M: Okay! Everyone: Moe... moe... kyuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun S: Ahh! M: Okaayy M: You don't need salt and pepper! M and S: Thank you [In Japanese] M: Put so much magic in this! M: So much magic... S: This is wonderful! M: Ahh? See? I knew you'd come around! S: Heeey! M: He's just excited 'cause he's hungry and the food's here M: But you know what I'm about to do S: Heheh M: Take-- Take photos for the next twenty-five minutes, son! [Nutcracker Music] M: Oooooooo S: I gotta say, Dan's got the manliest dish, even though it's a puppy S: Still looks like manliest dish out there! [Cute Puppy Barking Noises] M: You wanna know something amazing? M: This will be the first omurice I've ever had in all of Japan! S: Oh, right! M: Yep! M: Aand it's got a bunny-- oh no--- it's got a kitty on it! M: Fah! So excited! S: And now for our food-snobby side to kick in M: Hah S: Let's see S: Mm S: It's curry S: Mmm M: Pretty good omurice actually S: Yeah... S: I can taste the magic in this M: Can you? S: Definitely need to finish my drink [Intense Music] [Japanese in the background] M: Oh yeah S: Okay Maid: Bunny S: Uhhhh S: Princess Maid: Princess? S: Princess! S: I'm wearing the tiara! S: Okay Maid: Smile or kyukyu(?) S: Kyukyu! Maid: Kyukyu! S: Kyukyuu! Maid: Sorry... Oh! Okay, okay S: Good? S: Okay Maid with camera: Moe, moe, cute! Maid: Thank you [In Japanese] S: Thank you! S: Oh, yes! I forgot. Sorry! S: Okay S: She asked me to squat. I almost had to do a full squat. S: To get down there M: Oh duckie S: I'm a big boy! Haha S: Ohh, thank you! M: Kawaii S: Ahhhhhh! S: Oh, yeah! Very cute! S: This is wonderful! Look! M and S: Thank you! [In Japanese] S: Well I am having a much better time now than before! M: See? Is the-- Is the full chugging of the Screwdriver or is it just--- S: Maybe M: The joy that's come over him? S: I think I'm gonna get another one of those Screwdrivers M: I think it was the magic curry. That's what I think S: I gotta say S: Hear me out here S: I look a lot happier than this girl in the picture S: I mean, whose the cutie cutie one here? S: Her or me? S: Definitely think it's me! S: Yup! M: Mhhmmm S: Yuuup! M: Mhhmm M: Now one of the things about coming to a maid cafe is to understand that it's not just about M: The actual food or like sitting in a cafe. It's about the interaction with the maids. M: So, even if you don't speak Japanese, just try your hardest to kind of like M: You know, play along enthusiastically M: They wanna explain the menu. There's gonna be dances M: You're gonna have your curry turned into magic pink sauce S: Yep M: So, you know, go with the flow S: So that's it for our super fun adventure here at our very first maid cafe M: Yep! S: Is it going to be our last? I don't think so! M: We're not sure. What's really cool about this particular location is they have like M: Four or five floors. It's like the whole building. M: And they actually have like different specials that come through M: So like the Gudetama special S: Yep! S: Yep! M: With special Gudetama food S: Uh-huh M: Who knows what they'll do next M: However, we're really lucky that we can film here M: Because the majority of maid cafes do not let you film M: So we're sharing this with you guys through the power of moe moe-- M: You can do it with me, ready? Ready? M+S: Moe, moe... M: I don't know the last word! S: Dooooo! [cute, funky music]
FINALLY! Something that feels like it isn't just about food!
I mean... It's still a cafe, but shhhh.
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