Orlando Bloom's Guiding Relationship Principles: "Do I Feel Safe, Seen, and Celebrated?"

some of the deepest fears I have are like related to a historical pattern of Behavioral thinking which I don't know that I was even conscious of start and some of the biggest movie franchises of all time please welcome Orlando Bloom Orlando Bloom I think that our deepest fears they often lie in areas unknown to us because anything that I try to hold on to doesn't serve me and that's really hard hey everyone I've got some huge news to share with you in the last 90 days 79.4% of our audience came from viewers and listeners that are not subscribed to this channel there's research that shows that if you want to create a habit make it easy to access by hitting the Subscribe button you're creating a habit of learning how to be happier healthier and more healed this would also mean the absolute world to me and help us make better bigger brighter content for you in the world subscribe right now the number one Health and Wellness podcast J shett J shett the one the only J shett you know you were saying you're new to the world of podcasting but it seems to be something you're opening yourself up to where's that where's that coming from well first of all I love what you do thank you for having me it's so beautiful um to see to see the messaging you put out in the world to the edge is um is the first time I've worked in a unscripted space and I'm very proud of it and I thought I'd try you know like I I haven't intentionally not done podcasts I just haven't and I and I've been wanting as you said to to work with you for ages so I was like to at least sit down and have a conversation with you and I I I tried to get to one of your your your your speaking engagements which I wasn't able to but it's like I just thought this is an opportunity to like have a heart-c Centric conversation and I love the messaging you're putting out and actually you know Edge is a show that came up it was the the birth child the brainchild of a period of time that I think was really challenging in the world for everyone you know through covid where I think fear was sort of around all of us we were all like wait what you know what what are we what are we living through this is so unique and I was it was sort of palpable in in my environment and I'm not I'm not comfortable with fear I'm like I'm always like I run into I like I like I want to transform it I want to like I want to you know it's people say what are you afraid of right you know oh Shar I'm like I'm afraid of fear you know because it's like I want to confront anything in my life that feels challenging on those levels so actually initially I would love to have spoken to you on my show I had this idea where I would speak to people you know and also people like in blue zones and spaces in the world where people like have just got it figured they've got it dialed whether it's through diet lifestyle choices and all of the things that you speak about it's like I was like I want to go and explore the people in the world that do that and I've had this amazing opportunity with UNICEF for many years 20 years now almost and so I've sort of been in communities where I've seen how an impact what a great impact positivity can have right which I think is the message of Unicef also the funding that they support supp for communities so I was like I want to go and sort of talk to people but we didn't really get we got no hits nobody was really interested in me doing that I think there's also a Blue Zone show that is is is apparently epic as well so um so but how about we just throw you out of a plane and you know see if you can swim to the bottom of the ocean and we throw you up a mountain I was like I can do that you know it also feeds into my um sort of adrenaline sort of fueled sort of a ects of my life I think you know as a kid you know I was I I think I just was so active and physical and sort of approached life with that fearlessness and in some ways you know that was a blessing but I came definitely came out banged up and bruised I think I had a I was diagnosed with dyslexia when I was like maybe 9 10 so I had some extra schooling in that space and that really helped me because I had I had a kind of unusually high IQ but I just was really challenged at focus and concentration I think I was probably undiagnosed early on with like probably ADHD which I've subsequently kind of come to realize that was definitely something that I've um I've been navigating and now I've kind of found my way through to the sort of magic of what that can be for me do you remember your earliest fear as a kid it's funny because I'm an actor but I used to just be terrified at getting on stage no way I had real stage fright as a kid I was I was actually my mother enrolled me into a ballet class as a kid so until like I think from probably a toddler tiny toddler until I was maybe four or five and I think at around 4 we did this performance in Canterbury at the Marlo Theater which is the biggest theater in town pretty big theater actually and we did a little ballet show which was just me as there was probably a whole lot going on and I'm for so I don't entirely remember but I do know that I was dressed in a monkey suit I remember having a really hot itchy monkey suit on and having an itch on my bottom and I was a little embarrassed so I turned around to scratch my bottom so nobody would see me but the whole audience just ripped because kind of cute right this little so I I think my first fear was like I think it like being on stage so I kind of you know I did um I did all the National Youth Theater stuff in London I did Youth Theater everything I could do at school was my sort of start and I was just constantly every time I did it like I used used to remember walking on stage and I'd be like my mom used to do this she you can you know my mom had this one thing and she shake her fist at me says a lot about my um but she'd shake her F and say you can do it you know and I so I had this thing and I'd sort of go and then I I was quite um you know I was I was confirmed in the Cathedral of Canterbury by the Archbishop of Canterbury because it was like where I from and stuff which kind of a big deal so religious practice was always kind of a part of my life um so I'd always sort of say a prayer as well and think and then kind of go out and do it and I'd like and it was like never more focused than when I was on stage and that was a great feeling because otherwise I think I was struggling in school to to to articulate my thoughts or follow or continue my thought thread um so yeah I think fear for me was that which is ironic because of course now I'm you know then I went on to being an actor but but uh and also I have a you know I think at 16 I moved to London which was quite Young and I was on my own to do my a levels and and it was when I was 16 that I met a Buddhist practice um so early yeah so I was very young to meet a Buddhist practice and it was a philosophy and a and a and it is a religious practice but it's way more of a sort of philosophy and a almost like a Guide to Life if you like for me what was it about it at 16 that resonated with you I think that having left um the sort institutionalized schooling that you and I both recognized from London and England rather not London I was in Canterbury but I went to a private school I had a pretty solid middle col ucation but so it was like it was like there was sort of uh you know Chapel every morning Simson you know and so I had a I had that sort of in me and I think I really enjoyed that but when I moved to London I didn't have I didn't find a church or find a community and it was when I was studying for my a level that I realized um I needed extra art for my sculpture exam which I hadn't thought thought through I'd given up art quite a young age I just didn't have a teacher that I didn't just it was unfortunate so I met through my best friend I met an artist he introduced me and I did extra classes and I'd sort of go back to Kent he was actually from Kent so I go down on the weekends and I'd he'd set me up in a room and he'd say with an easel and he'd say here just do this and I'd hear him in the other room and he'd be going num and I'd be like just and and one day I just I I walked down so what are you doing he goes I'm just I'm just chanting that you're going to be really successful in your exams you have a really successful life I was like cool well will it help he goes yeah I was like great so I just got down on my knees I was like and so David who is who I've known since I'm like yeah maybe 17 16 or 17 but he he was he he is he he Shak abuk of me which is what we call in my practice where where somebody introduces you to the practice so he is and he was wonderful because he he sort of at 16 I was living in London and I was a real terror way I was like a club kid I was like having a really good time everything was like you know I mean I was I wasn't I don't want to mischaracterize myself because in some ways I always knew what I wanted so I kind of had a sort of self discipline regulator almost I didn't go too far but I always pushed the boundaries of what was I could do and I was having a really good time and and I was like and and I said well you know he explained it in a very sort of simple way to me but it was like I was like well can I chant for these things that I kind of you know like it could have been anything and he was like yeah sure and sometimes it was like well I want to have a really good night and this that and the other and and he was like see what happens and and I would and sometimes I'd wake up with a really sore head and I'd be like oh okay so words like integ Integrity wisdom courage compassion things that were like were started to come filtered at a young age into my into my thinking through also the writings of isaku aada who's my mentor and so it was like it was just it was this perfect moment for me because I think I always wanted a road map I think there's an art to living and for me this philosophy is for me it's it's it's a it's a way for me to understand the art of living and I think it's really like the law of cause and effect and I think all religions kind of mix and match and meet the the the central core of all practices I think is is one of you know good Goodwill I believe right but there's almost like science like cause an effect what goes up must come down it just sort of it it worked for me as a as an idea and so yeah I became a but it took me four years I I I shabuka my sister my best friend and it was like and they and one day my best friend goes well I'm going to go and get gansen gohanson is this scroll that um we we chant to and uh I was like wait you what he said I'm getting goano uh I uh and he'd been chanting for like maybe I don't know 68 months and I was like uh I was like okay I'll I'll join you I'll do I was like I've been doing this for four years and I hadn't all you know years and I hadn't so yeah I became a member of the sci which is the organization and that was yeah when I was n a bit later because I'd started chanting but I just used to just I chanted and it was like it kept me in Rhythm and and it and it was and that's really for me it kept me in a flow it's like the Rhythm of Life and in a way the when I was doing my uh my sculpture exam I remember I was painting like a a whalebone and a lemon or a pineapple like it was it was a well bur and and and like a some kind of piece of fruit and I was like I'd look at it I'd be painting and it was a 15 hour still life oil painting exam had a still life drawing exam as well as the sculpture I'd go to the toilet be like come back and be like and finished the painting and and I think like yeah I I got the highest grade and then and the they called and said we'd like to keep this work as the highest grade for the country kind of thing as like like this is the bench and I was like I hadn't been doing art and I so I really tested it and it was you know I think I think the power as you you know you know when you set an intention and uh and at such a young age you know for young people for young people today I think having something like a something that you can trust and I think you know I really admire I think it's hard to to have faith with the with the chanting and with the practice or the habit of that what was some of the more philosophical lessons or principles that kind of became anchors or accompass in your life at that time where there certain teachings or lessons that stood out and you like oh these are going to form the principles that I'm going to live by yeah um so many they Saku fortunately well has has written extensively and it's very accessible for those who don't know please tell us who so daaku Kor is is my mentor he was um he is he brought this practice from Japan around the world it was um you know it was in in the 60s he I think he he he is when he left Japan and traveled first to Hawaii and um the founding members of this practice and many of whom are wonderful Japanese women who have been have been a living around the world and but he brought this practice to 193 countries I think now his mentor Jose TOA and before that machuki Jose to's mental machuki um in the 60s in Japan um brought this practice forward and daaka really made it accessible he wrote extensively he he's written a book about his book about his life is written from a uh another perspective it's like it's him but it's written as a another person isn't would you say third person well if it's not the same if it's it's him but it's not it's he's got a pseudo name for who it is yeah yeah right so he but it's just it's I think there are so many ideas within the practice but at its core it's like I just find that through chanting you say nam I devote myself to the Mystic law of cause and effect through the vibration of sound and the sound is now m m is the title of the Lotus Sutra and as you may or may not know but yeah you know shakuni or Buddha the Buddha Sid Arthur the um he wrote sutras meaning teachings and in the last eight years of his life it was the Lotus Sutra before he passed that he sort of proclaimed as the teaching that would lead all living beings to Enlightenment in this lifetime and so that's why we chant Nam m m being also the title of the Lotus Sutra and then I cite two chapters from the uh expedient means and the lifespan chapter from theota Sutra which is part of this practice which is beautifully Japanese because um it traveled from India through the silk Paws and and landed in Japan and it was Nishan dionin who was a um in the in 1270s 1270 around then so you call that the 13th century um he he propagated the teacher and he brought this teaching to the world at that time so he he he enshrined in Sumi Inc the gansam which is as I sort of said that scroll that I chant to he inscribed it with sui ink and he gave because he recognized that sort of humans needed uh something uh a mandala something to to to look at and really it's like it's like polishing my mirror so I excuse my ADD bra but is like polishing my mirror so I think about when I chant I think about they in India it was like bronze mirror and you polish it and then you see your reflection right so the more I chant the more I see my reflection and then I see the things or or like a it's like a a tea leaf a GL a glass of tea and I'm like stirring away and it comes to the surface and you do chanting and I think as you get older and I have you know two beautiful children and you realize that like it's sort of I think death is a big part of life and it's something that we uh some people can be very uncomfortable with or challenged by and we're mystically you know here for such a short period of time relative to everything and this practice is like kind of constantly preparing you and it's sort of so the obstacles that you see in life because of essentially you know what the way that I've learned through my practices that we're born We Grow Old we'll get sick and we'll die and so will everyone around us and hopefully nobody we love too soon but the truth is you will lose and there is and I think that when you you can see the obstacles in your life and it may be just waking up in the morning and getting a bill that you can't afford to pay or you know for somebody or when you when you take the obstacles in your life as the opportunities for your growth when you when you reframe it as oh wow because the truth is at least my truth through my practice is that we're never not going to have opportunity uh obstacles right and it's just how we see those obstacles and whether they become our benefit so it's like pain a a canvas right like when I broke my back or when I had you know near-death experiences and or you know experiences I say about a few kind of interesting things in my life or a heartbreak or a heart reveal or you know something that happened in school or things like those are the deep colors in your canvas otherwise everything's sort of like plain nice you know and you want those Rich textures right or at least I do so I find I found that um that that you know the practice has given me the the sort of the pathway and and by the way I am like I I I intentionally sabotage myself you know what I mean I mean I literally I'm like I'm like I'm not chanting I I hav't chanted because I'm like I get in my own way you know I'm far from like I'm like literally you know and I get picked up on it by by friends I keep a I have a very you know I have David and my best friend Mark and Chris Chris who's in the show actually I call gibo um we all practice and so we kind of keep each other kind of accountable a little bit as well but but as you get older you know I think you you know you probably experience in in in your own way but it becomes so much harder you know just to keep that kind of that faith in everything because because but it's been for me that it's been I think I was such a young age to get it yeah you know I know people who are born into it because you know their parents you know were were so and that's like this you know Fortune baby I call they it and that's so bless you know such a bling but um but the eight wins is something that Nish shonin wrote this book I didn't intend this to be a I love it it's beautiful I'm just like riffing beautiful he wrote he wrote he wrote The Go show and and it's like letters to his disciples and it's crazy because they're like they're written in 12 20 1270s something they're in the 13th century but they're so weirdly current like it's a bit because it's like there's a samurai sh shingo Kingo who I kind of like see myself as like maybe I was you know like I have this like nice idea of who he was but like he had he had shared the practice with his master and his master was like given him all these lands and then all these other Samurai were jealous and so they're like they tore his character down and he was banished and then he managed to kind of come back because of his practice and communicate to his Lord and it kind of worked but it's like we know that story it happens in every office or in every city or at least you know we've heard it time and time again so they're so sort of current and relative but absolutely why that eight wins is a really great um is one that I grew up a wise man is not swayed by the eight wins a praise censure honor disgrace um pleasure suffering Prosperity Decline and you know W that that is really powerful you know and that was one that just like for me it was like you know just I don't think I've I think I've been swayed many a many a time how does one not get swayed by praise and what was the second word praise and censure so the opposite yes yeah yeah exactly yeah so how does one not get swayed yeah I think I think as a as a as a young man and I don't like I feel I'm young at heart so I kind like you look young some years ago um you know when I was like when it was when I was what I feel like really in the eye of the storm and just like my whole life was just like tabloid fod in some ways it felt like um constantly and anything I did I think that was really challenging for me it was like and I I I don't think I handled I don't think I didn't have any kind kind of major meltdowns but like I was really upset about how my character felt like it was being dragged actually it's why I started an Instagram big account which I did some I started very late in the game but I only did it because actually my partner Katie had said it's a really good way to gather the reins and create a narrative and like now I know it's like I don't know how many people even really use there's so many different new app things media platforms you know but in a way it kind of was able it sort of helped me to kind of create my own narrative at least and to put messaging out that I felt was you know reflected my whole my my ideas and views you know which obviously are mostly very Cent centered around my practice um and daak aada really his writings I love seeing you person about daada it's of my some he says some one he has he has phenomenal well beautiful things and so yeah you know so I think um I just I just kind of my practice definitely helped me with that it was definitely anchoring I think um I think I kind of I got very good at hiding which I would never encourage and if you know but in a way I kind of like I got very good at putting a hat on and going moving through the world without and you know if I could go back I would probably say to that kid like you know what shine it bro just be you're here to make mistakes and if they're public or private you know they're the mistakes that you will that's that deep purple in your canvas yeah just it's it's not really how you go down it's how you get up right so and trust your heart you know trust that you're in the in in the flow and that's that's something that I don't think I had a lot of you know as a kid so as you as you as you move on you just go well the noise just eventually subsides and now I'm like have a perspective on it just from years and I'm like it's it's it's it's it's it's helped to know you know and like I think it's but that was it was definitely through chanting that I I think and my practice and friends and the community that I had around me at the time and and also being on the road and working so much I think I just didn't most of it was just like uh hardly didn't really look at it didn't really pay attention but yeah hearing you say that I mean what's beautiful is that it often feels like so many of these lessons can only be lived and understood when they're lived but it's helpful to know the lesson you're learning and how it fits in it's almost like you had to go through that you couldn't have asked yourself to deal with it better or do better at the time no no but the fact that you had this lesson philosophy practice to yeah back on or to like kind of understand look at give me perspective for sure that was a massive blessing yeah yeah when you're talking about fears and your first fear all the way through to this obviously when you watch the show there's this feeling of the external fear right like the idea of jumping out of a plane the idea of rock climbing the all of these things are naturally inherently scary right right what's the internal fear when you're doing it like what is the dialogue that's going on because obviously you're quite a reflective thoughtful individual what what's really the fear because it obviously isn't jumping out the plane for you yeah I think it comes back to trust and faith right and and selfworth right there are protocols that you follow like all of these like adrenaline junkie athletes that you see you know maybe posting a 15c clip on on a on a social media page have spent their lives and potentially weeks days years hours to perect effect whatever it's you're seeing for a 15c moment and you know like Luke Akins jumped from like the stratosphere without a parachute Landing in a net Camila Jabba who is who who was my free diving uh coach along with Will tuich who was who who who runs this um vertical blue competition in in the Bahamas where I was diving Supreme athletes who you know Camila has Swan to she's the Mexican world record holder of like 18 80 plus meters now that's a you know I I think I got to 37 m in about the four days which was like aund few and I was really struggling because of my mask I had I think I I wish I'd not worn a mask I wish I just like had goggle like you have these I wish I I'd thought that through cuz but I had some with equalizing but you know Andor mock who's this adaptive climber who just you know was born with one hand and uh started climbing as a child and just you know is the woman in her field doing what she does and it's like a glass heart you know it's just it's just overflowing these people are just overflowing but what it is is that they are experts and they it is a life choice almost right so in a way like people have said to me oh have you gone back to doing the free the the wings suiting or the and I'm like I really can't wait to do that but it's like it's not something you just P dip in and out of you know it's a real lifestyle choice and it's a commitment and it's it's something that gives you excellence and I think the so so trusting in that moment that everything you trusting myself for me it was about becoming capable right in a way like like learning to follow the protocols learning to be present enough to take on board everything that's being told to me so that I can apply it to the moment that I'm in so when I'm in the plane and about to jump and I'm really and I'm I uh you know I think the to be fair I think the climbing I got such potty mouth on the climing because I was so frustrated and terrified by the by the gear by the KN SPID whether I tied it right or whether the Rope was going to hold me or whether I was going to and mostly because actually I had Mo's life of my hands right like so but it was I think becoming capable and having that like education and then being accountable for myself so in the moment where the fear is really kicking in it's just trusting like kind of coming back to what everything I've learned from my practice was trust in your life having faith in your life I think faith is a is so important and I think misguided faith is sometimes so challenging for us as a as a as a as a species because it's led to so much heartbreak and and conflict but actually I really admire people of Faith because most people of faith if it's not misguided are really doing everything they can and because it's my Buddhist practice we try to be respectful of all Faith you know I kind of feel like I know my path is the right one I wish everyone would join me on this but I but I totally respect that everybody has their path and I think that's what it comes down right respect so it's like a bit of it the whole show was a bit of a human experiment for me and I think the experiment and the lessons that I continually Learned was a bit of like self-respect becoming capable trusting my life and trusting that this was part of an important and necessary part of my life and I after all I'd chosen to do it you know and I could find myself at times in these like super challenging phys physically challenging moments mentally physically and emotionally they were all totally different so you know like Wing suiting just was it's super unnatural to jump out of a plane and then I think what Luke said to me was that I'm probably the first person to have jumped at 26 jumps so 25 jumps I got my my my my a license for skydiving and my 26 jump was in a Wings suit but he had me on this trajectory but he knew from what he was watching and you know we were working every day for yeah you know a few not even that long but um but he knew that I was capable to it so the the free diving I just didn't know if I was going to come back up I was like wait what what if I because I had and I think I was emotionally really challenged by this idea like respecting my life you know treasuring my life because I think in some ways in my youth treasuring my life valuing my life understanding the value of life and being grateful for it in a very profound way like I think I have you know a stadium of Angels or Buddhas or however whoever you want to call them but um and with climbing it was like I'd find myself in these moments as I said I'd be like I'd be like I'm really having a hard time here and I would with you know I'd have I had this um one of my assistants who became a producing partner who was working with for so long who knew me so well but I would just be like freaking out she could see I was freaking out but I was freaking out but about something like why am I wearing this t-shirt what does this t-shirt mean you know what I mean it was so so interesting how the mind right it's like you become you know what I mean instead of just getting in your you know I became very um I was like trying to control control the control the environment control the things because I felt so out of control like this t-shirt is not the right t-shir or whatever it might be you know it was like for me it didn't it could have been anything but it was like because I needed to control whatever I had Poss you know on me because I felt so kind of out of control in some ways so it was a human I felt like it was a human experiment honestly I was like I was like how much does it take for me to crack you know how much pressure before I and what does that look like in some ways um so but in a way like you know that was the you know I kept coming back to Nam you know you you what is meant for you is not going to go away right it's not and this is but it's also it was my first time in an unscripted world right yeah you know I think because of the nature of my upbringing dyslexia and education that was such a challenge although I got it all did it all um this is trusting yeah my heart right you're trusting your experience right I mean that's what you've done so well youve like you're able to communicate from the heart listen be present and you know what I mean and come in with the with the points that like like oh wow you're you're actually absorbing and and taking that on and I think and and sharing and putting a message out but it's sometimes hard for people you know especially I think you know when you're younger yeah I mean I I think what I'm listening to you right now these adap are great my mind is firing I'm like I'm have more of this good I'm glad we'll get you another are you finished that one do you want another one when I'm listening to you right now and I really appreciate you going there because of course the external is hard but I love how you boiled it down to that idea of trying to control the little you think you can control in the midst of the fact that you can't control any of this and it's interesting how that is such a great metaphor for life somehow yeah because we're all trying to control everything we can control and what we can't control not recognizing that so much is outside of our control and that makes us in life feel helpless and it can often make us Retreat and hide and disappear but when you're climbing a mountain you can't disappear like you can't Retreat from that right it's almost like you have to sit in that discomfort and you have to sit with that emotion which is actually what real life is demanding of us but we find a way to kind of hide it push it away deal with it yeah and so it's it's the most physical real way I I remember when this is why I think you're hopefully the show will you know encourage people to do we all have something that's uncomfortable for us whether it's internal or external and I think everyone needs a friend who encourages them to do some extreme sports now and again my wife needs less encouragement than I do I as as life has gone on I've become a bit more reserved and I had a friend a couple of years ago who made me do skydiving who made me do crazy things with him and I was really grateful for that because it made me realize how many blocks I had up here that I was unaware I thought I'd conquered so many blocks but there was still so many so much lack of trust and so much lack of that feeling of oh actually I can sit in discomfort I was almost trying to get away from discomfort because at one point in my life I'd put myself through so much of it and now just wanted to be in a comfortable space which is fair fair but but one thing you say in the docu series kind of in the beginning was this idea of you say being on the edge makes me feel most alive but then at the same time I see you as someone who really values the little things dayto day and obviously with your Buddhist practice is Mindful and present how do you reconcile the two because you know if you're feeling all this adrenaline and this extreme SPO and that makes you feel alive but then how do you also feel alive in the tiny moments and maybe being with your kids or yeah yeah being with blue as we just your beautiful dog that we just with now thank you yeah I think you know it's such good questions I think to let two things and I want to come back to that question but I think in a way like what are the parts of the show is like what did it take for me to be remarkably present look I'm I'm one of the most privileged people I consider myself the experiences that I've had in the world at a at in life I feel just so grateful all the time I wake up feeling grateful and you know I feel you know that partly that's my practice to giving me the opportunity but for some people it's like look just getting up from the couch and going to the kitchen what does it take for them to do that I know through Co which was the idea was like what does it take for that person just to go to the park just step outside take your shoes off socks off stand in the grass and look at the trees and just that may be all it takes but it may be so challenging for one person for that person so like yes for me you know when I was kind of raw dogging it with my all my kind of ADD and just things happening I was just like in it I say that because i' when I say raw doggy I mean I was just like I've subsequently found like a really amazing like peptide which is fantastic that's helped me really kind of connect my thoughts at times cuz sometimes it's really disjointed but in a way I love that about my thinking because it kind of is sporadic but um for some people as I said the the the hope for the show for me was like it took me okay for me who you know arguably throughout my life has really um you know love the thrill like if I'm going really fast either on a motorcycle or in a car or whatever it might be I feel like I'm more focused like I'm more likely to have an accident at 30 mil an hour than I am 60 mil hour you know because I'm just there's a I switch into some other mode and it's kind of true for everything I've done in my life like if I'm if if the if if it's really up against me then I'm going to I'm going to step pop in a whole other way like for example one the Rings where I was like my first movie really and I'm with Ian McKellen and Ian Holm and Christopher Lee and Vio mortinson and even Elijah who I'd seen in movies and you know like these amazing actors all of whom had so much experience and it was an amazing gift but it was also like okay step up you know and the blessing of that um so I think you kind of take that high of these insane things that you're doing but it's all really like Rel relevant to the like sometimes I can wake up in the morning and I just can't figure out even which way to go you know I'm like I can feel like I'm like wait what I'm so grateful but wait where what am I my brain is like it's like trying to bring it online and it can and it can be really overwhelming in terms of you know so it's like back to chance back to breath back to presence back to Stillness back to gratitude back to like I had this I think I I think I had this kind of really remarkable plant Journey medicine Journey mhm and you know I I I set an intention around the feminine cuz we touched on my mother briefly and I was like you know my mother gave me this which is wonderful and loved me wholeheartedly and was in boarding school at the age of four so was like she's didn't really have a full you know sense of what nurture and things was but she was so love is and remains so loving and a great opportunity for me to continue to grow and evolve but I set an intention before I was like because I'd wanted to ask Katie to marry me and I was like I just need to kind of check in and I'd never done you know this particular medicine and I was like I want to just so I I flew somewhere to meet this and I and I'd set this intention around the feminine right and I was like and basically the three points that came out I was like am I clean am I good here can I do move forward with this because it's important to me um to know that I'm clear right and uh and so it's with a right so you get this feeling of and somebody had explained to me you have this amazing feminine energy coming at you and uh think you're supposed to do three cups and I took five well I wanted to have this this this I was just waiting I was there and I didn't I was just on a couch with this amazing room of musicians and this wonderful guide and he just looked at me at 6:00 in the morning and he was he had been journeying with me and he was like you want more and I was like one more and then I had this like sensation of lightness and this I think basically it's like our minds right you like you're exploring aspects of your mind that the neurop pathways that you just haven't like looked at right you understand that it's the map of your mind right that's kind of and you've disconnected your ego enough to be humble enough to take on and I and this message was well first of all just be grateful look at your life right second of all you don't have an issue with women you know look at your life wonderful women in your life and even if even if there are aspects of women in your life that you have it's all been part of your Evolution um but maybe the feminine in you it was like she was you know there was this there was this like so maybe you could nurture a bit more of the feminine in you right and I was like okay but it was like nurture I guess the creative artistic side the just like pondering and poetical and things that I hadn't and then but the last one that I remember that was so it was like whenever you're with somebody it may be the last time you see them again you just don't know so make it great whatever you got to lose you may never see this person again we don't know life is like you don't know M so just make it great cuz at a young age I'd had a real challenge I'd have people come at me consistently right and I'd be like and I'd be in whatever mental state or moment that I was in and sometimes I just like you know I mean you know and and all they want is this moment and it's so easy for me to just go hey yeah photo sure yeah he that no problem and then carry on but sometimes it was just like you know I could it felt like almost acid because I was just it didn't what it represented at a different time in my life was was a restriction right and I wanted to feel free but I think that moment of that thing for me was like you may never see this person again you don't know life is not built like that so just make it great it's not hard right or at least leave it with that you know so I think that was the did I answer the question yeah yeah I know I mean so much you gave me so much more to unpack that I love it I mean on on that point I do think if we lived in a world where you genuinely believed that any moment with anyone could be your last yeah the way you'd speak to them the way you'd look at them the way you listen to them would just transform and I'm sure you have friends I I have friends who've lost parents Partners people and they all regret their last conversation with them because it was conflict or it was an argument or it was a debate that they didn't need to have theyve been in Conflict who knows yeah yeah and they and they didn't know that that was going to be the last time and I've spoken to friends who've who've held that for so much longer because it becomes such a hard release to know that you could have should have would have said something different might have done it differently might have done it differently but going back to what was revealed to you and and even that I mean I look at relationship as such a area where so many of our fears are brought to the surface I found this with my own wife like we've been together for 11 years and married for eight what's the secret and it's this it's it's being comfortable with the idea that she is also the deepest mirror I'll ever have right because no one in the world sees all of my flaws all of my mistakes all the moments when I'm not perfect you know I always joke about how like my wife knows whether I meditate this morning or not like no one else does but my wife knows and my wife knows whether it was quality or whether it's distracted my wife knows whe you know my wife knows whether I left my socks on the floor you know whatever just whether it's silly or deep it's it's she is in a position and when your partner doesn't abuse that Authority and doesn't use it as a form of control yeah right but actually reflects back some care and compassion it it can be a really it's it's almost like you can't grow without it have you what have what have you what scared you about relationships and what like you said you had no problem with women that wasn't a thing but what was revealed to you in your relationship yeah um what's been revealed to you in your relationship is a better question I think I think um I'm constantly learning to let go okay because anything that I try to hold on to whether it's good or bad doesn't serve me not in the relationship and it doesn't really serve either of us and that's really hard to keep letting go and to keep letting her go you know the idea of Cu I think when you're in a deeply loving committed relationship you want to you want to control or own or have or and you know even just letting go of ideas of how things should be or the idea of what intimacy or intimate moments are to you versus them or how you know whatever it may be because everybody because you've chosen that person they're on a journey with that person you know you're going to learn this lesson and if you've chosen that person then that's the person you're going to learn that lesson with you I mean that's the opportunity right that's yeah that's that that really resonates I I feel like that's why we'd rather let go of the person and have a new six-month period with someone new because you don't have to let go in that six months like that six months is almost full of holding on and every idea and every hope and possibility remains intact like you don't have to dism mantle it or question it or break it down but you are so right that the amount of misconceptions I've had to let go of as we spend more time together and I think it it's going to change every day right absolutely it's like every day you choose I choose you yeah you know because also you know your wife is changing right seven years from now she's be completely different human yeah you have no idea right you know you can I mean you you you clearly have been around each other and you do probably KN know have a sense but we don't know you don't know it's the same thing as like I may never see that person again yeah every day may you may never see that version of that person again or you know whatever it may be but like yeah we're just you know we have we I'm forced I I I seize the opportunity every day to grow and as you see from the show I'll never choose the uh the pass the easy path you know like it's just not I am yeah and you know in some ways my relationship is the greatest opportunity for my continual growth and you know and I know we both see it that way so that's how we grow and we do and she will not you know she'll hold me accountable and I'll do the same and sometimes you know you'll be confronted by your own self you know MH and I think you know yeah trust right trusting your path your journey your faith your that this is what's meant for you mhm and then you know the universe will take care of the rest and and making mistakes and going okay I did that was yeah did that sorry I I I sort of am like there's no yeah I think I think I've you know seen how learning more like the mistake I think like I I think very early on in life actually weirdly I didn't enjoy making mistakes does anybody I don't know maybe some people really do but I I didn't I wasn't comfortable with with messing it be hard to find someone who enjoyed making mistakes yeah and yet anyone any Sage you're worthy will tell you it's not it's only through mistakes that you grow right so it's like going okay you know like that's where the where the that's where the rich stuff is that's where you're going to so I just try to keep growing um and you know accepting and you know yeah how how does it feel to introduce your Buddhist practices and teachings to the kids like how does that work I'm fascinated by well yeah I really I just I say to Daisy and she I she sometimes on the other side of the world on a movie she'll be like I say um he I think and Flynn chanted you know from I did the same with him and I don't like so Flynn's mother has a beautiful faith in life I think and I really respect it and I don't challenge any of the things his views that he's obviously imbued through his mother and um you know I I I we we we love to go on walks I love to go on walks with my son and and we talk a lot I try to you know and at different stages look he's 13 now so it's almost like dad is getting pushed aside I kind of know what that feels like I was the same you know so I'm not I try not to take it personally and I miss him and I'm like I just text him I love him and I miss him but but we have these wonderful walks and talks and I kind of just throughout whatever we're saying I try to keep reinforcing just the the the the undercurrent philosophy and thinking of my practice and and and which is just you know are you are you respecting are you are you you know if there is that kid in class who's not you know are you are you supporting that kid that's not getting the support because that's where you'll find the richness right because I I kind of like I know that's in his heart as well I see it and funny he said to me dad you know I'm really good at just bluffing and I think like but this is him at 13 you know flexing a bit in his way of trying to like trying to kick he was like yeah but Dad I just knew that would that would be the thing that people would I'm like good well just keep working that then yeah because even if your thinking will try and make you say you're going to do just keep working that even if it's even if you think it's like you're putting on a show fake it till you make it you know what I mean just keep doing the just keep trying to do the right thing and eventually you'll start to realize what the right thing is right but I love to walk and talk with him and and and I I just don't overwhelm him with it because in in my faith I Believe by saying say to me Nam Namo yooo r r n so by saying this once you never have to say it again you protected Seven Generations in your past and seven generations in your future thank you for that gift that's beautiful so I believe that deeply believe that and I believe so sometimes I will just walk up to somebody and say just say Nam your name V kill just once and I'll tell them that and then I'll walk away whatever and it'd be like I believe that it's like finding a a needle in the either haast that and if you so you never have to do it again you've done it seven generations pass I'll see every time I see you now and if you ever good yeah and if you ever and if it was something that resonated with you at the time or at moment then great I you know I encourage people to do that it's not you know I'm like well this is how you do it just it's not a it's not a meditational process right like a meditation I do as well having meditation TM practice but for me it's like yoga for the mind you know it's like when I'm really stressed out or I feel like you know that too much coffee you ever get really stressed out seems so like Jo yeah I'm no this I'm sitting here opposite Jay shed do you want me to show you the other side of me no I mean like you can see you'll see the climbing episode you'll see the part you see the party mouth and the I'm like no I'm like a red line I'm like I really like mostly I'm like I can really you know I can be in the red like um and that's something that that I just try to navigate but I like that I embrace it I accept it absolutely you know what I mean it's like can be on in that space it's like it's like the difference between driving at 30 or 60 it's like obviously I would you know God forbid you want to observe the speed limit because there are children and things but like I know what you know so sometimes I can be really intense how have you how have you accepted the parts of yourself that most of us judge criticize or feel uncomfortable granted that they're not affecting other people from I think um because of that practice I'm constantly looking at that but I think I think it's time honestly and I think it's experience MH because the experiences have taught me like that you know shame is not my friend guilt shame if you spend any if you if you overly if you spend too much time in that negative thought pattern you know we're like energy we're like little planets right but if you broke our bodies down I was having this conversation with somebody who was giving me a massage the other night she's this amazing woman and she was like but we're like little we're like little galaxies if you actually dissolved us the the trillions and billions of you know you know cells cells and everything it's like a little it's like a little Galaxy so we're all little galaxies going around the planet right in a way mhh so all of that energy which as you know and talked about many time but it's like it's whatever you're saying you become right as we all know these all these old adages are so true so it's not like but so yeah it's I think for me it's like I the shame game doesn't work I don't want to I don't want to receive it from anyone I mean I did this I had this amazing experience and I went six years ago maybe seven years ago now seven years ago more than seven years ago nearly eight years ago I went to the Hoffman Institute which is wonderful yes and it was um I'd had a really I'd been seeing k for a year and i' broken up and then we sort of no we hadn't actually we'd broken up yet I'd been seeing her for for for a little while and then we had broken up and we got back together you know the Young Love weirdness of trying to find things and but I I'd been triggered into this really unique pattern of behavior that I felt I'd inherited from my mom right this thing of like seeing I'm here you know with my I'm over here you know I think why you know what I mean and trying to get the attention right and I I I was like oh one of the worst years internally I can ever remember because I felt like I was playing a part instead of being a part and I was just cuz I had so many feelings and I was so and I was in water that was Uncharted so um a dear friend of mine Buddhist had um an actor friend from New York had had suggested that I do this two years ago and I hadn't picked up on it James leine this amazing actor human just wonderful person and I was like I sort of remembered when I we'd had this breakup and I'd remembered I'd taken my passport left everything else and walked into New York because we'd been in New York and then I was like got on a plane home but before I got on a plane home I went to his house cuz it was like 5 in the morning when we had this rip roaring AR again and I was like took my passport and walked out the door and I was like and he had talked about it and so I I did this course and I left with these three thinking and it was it was a wonderful week where you don't have your phone you don't have the email you have so you have no connection to the outside world really and you don't and people you know obviously I was me but I had this nobody's there for that so it's really people are on their own they're all in their own form of need so I was wearing like a a name tag that was my childhood name or whatever and then I did seven days of like I guess kind of like a group therapy and it felt like three years of therapy in seven days in a way and they take you on this beautiful journey through these seven days where you have like a Thanksgiving dinner a Christmas dinner a birthday and a whole thing from it's like it's beautiful the way it's constructed and I came out with this thinking and I talked to James at that time about this as well of feeling safe seen and celebrated I want to feel safe so in in terms of my relationship so with self first right so if I look in the mirror I feel safe do I feel safe with you today do I feel seen by you am I kind of observing myself and do I feel celebrated right but really it's for my the people in my life like do I feel safe with this person do I feel seen by this person and and I feeling celebrated and can I do that for them obviously right it's a it's a it's a mirror so if I'm feeling that way then you're good it's a green light and if I'm not then I'm going to just step back take pause until I can feel that way and if I can't feel that way then maybe life in the universe will take us on different trajectories but whilst I feel that way so safe scen and celebrated was something that really made me kind of go I came back into my life and into my relationship after this and then I said we were SE we separated it was interesting and I was like looked off I was like okay this is what's meant you know this is some years ago now yeah but this this stickiness that we had this connection and she was never really not a part of my thoughts um and she would reach out in weird ways like Instagram or whatever and I'd be like processing and I was like so and then I I made a sort of decision because I had this safe scene celebrated thing not to to see her unless she would and then she she actually did this this Hoffman as well W and had an amazing experience herself wow and so we just kind of I think it was like the it created a foundation so we're constantly sort of bouncing off this thing and sometimes the foundation's really Rocky course um and sometimes I don't know you know sometimes is this are we is the universe are we still gr I I gave her this picture of a tree you know and I was like and it was it was just beautiful bought it in India I think but it was this this these two trees growing as one I was like this is this is what it should be right as long as we we can the dra the branches can go all over the place but the roots and the and the and the base of the tree is the trunk is growing together you know it's the it's the pillars of the temple right yes you need them to stand strong together so that you can hold the you know hold that but I yeah it's it's it's been a yeah that's great criteria though I like that safe seen and celebrated yeah it's like a a beautiful way of checking and connecting wavelength yes the visual you just painted right now of the two trees feels perfect like that visual just resonated so strongly sometimes people are not up for that as well though you know sometimes they're not ready for that she like I it can be really overwhelming it can be really overwhelming all of your good intention right all of your desire for the greatest outcome can be super intimidating and overwhelming depending on whether your wife is ready yes in that day in that moment and as we as we know from you know the remarkable you know I I I had this thought I was like when I had Daisy my daughter I was like I mean I feel like every man should have a daughter before they get married in a way because it's like you see every emotion Under the Sun yeah in a split second and it's like and you have nothing but love because you're there there's no judgment there's just like I'm just like marveling at her explosion of emotion and she'll be like no daddy no dad Mommy I want and I'm be like if I'd been in you know a partner a reflection of a partner doing that could have really messed me up at different times in my life wait what see me look at me look at me look at me look at me I'm over here Mommy I'm over here you know whatever it may be you know our patterns from from childhood whatever that may be and I like and I'm like and it's it's in a way it's like you know so I can have those you know with a powerful human you know that that that I've chosen in some ways every day yeah it's like got to keep leveling up and trying and making mistakes and going okay no that didn't work or I'm going to do this and that's no I don't do that you might you know but you know sometimes it's very interesting isn't it I think the masculine in in in in relation to the feminine mhm you know mhm like my mind map again you know like I'd set an intention around the and I was like oh no it's not women it's like the feminine within you it's like but in this world that we live in it's like trying to find the the the the the right level because it's not like obvious you know it's not there's no it's you know I think people are always you know how do you how do you have the right balance it's like it's you can't it's like sometimes you're just really you know Mass overly overly you know edgy and sometimes you just like you can be that you can hold that big space because you because in your mind you're capable but you know I think it's just choosing right you just keep choosing you choose life and you choose to you choose to go on a journey and you choose to keep it real and you choose to for me at least yeah I feel what you said about like for me I my sister's like like four and a half years younger than me or something and I feel like I I remember holding her when she was born last year I got to walk her down the is at her wedding like and it was I've always my nickname for my sister is kid because I've treated her like my daughter since she was born and she's always felt that way to me and you're so right like my wife would always say to me gosh when you're around your sister you're just you know completely different in this and it's it's that fatherly brotherly does she does she like that sister no your your wife does she she finds it adorable she finds it adorable like lean into that more is that not not really not so much it's just like no it's just like no she finds that adorable but she sees what capacity I have for tolerance and for what you're saying that being that bigger holding when you have your own daughter yeah when you have it for that love and you're so right that when you've been able to experience that it's so much easier to understand I always feel like I was raised by my mom and tried to raise my sister the best as I could and it was almost like that's made me a better husband than I would have been right because I had a different experience with women that I wouldn't have had if I didn't have a younger sister and had a younger brother or whatever it may be right right and and so that resonates very strongly but also this idea of I've seen myself act with my wife with the people I love in a way that I don't like at all and I've seen myself act in the best way possible and I'll oscillate between the two depending on where I'm at on any given day and it's what you said earlier that it takes two people to be able to let go it takes two people to be able to forgive it takes two people to be able to not over amplify or underreact or overreact and you're constantly playing in that space space if you want a loyal committed long-term relationship which has very different positives than a short easy quick moment and quick fix yeah yeah and and it's almost like it's what you said it's choosing what you want once you decide your we have that idea in my practice once it's like in Sensei discusses you know once you decide your whole world will move in that direction once you decide you know what I mean everything is set up for the universe to support that decision but you must decide whatever it may be and then if the wheels fall off along the way you know you realize that you've decided and there are mistakes but then you set about fixing and I you know I I wrote this um like a mission statement when I when I first met her because I wanted to uh I wanted to try to articulate all these crazy feelings I was having at the time um which was like a reveal that I hadn't had in a long time in somehow and one of the things that I said in this like this this this this letter I wrote her was you know I want us to we're going to bring our little kids out you know our inner child we're going to bring out and I'll duke it out with you as as much as you like so long as we just promise to keep getting up you know because it's like if we don't get up I need to know that like you'll duke it out I'll duke it out but that we'll get up you know and keep you know because that's because it doesn't matter about you you're going to go down people are going to make mistakes things are going to happen life is is is set for that you know there it's not you know it's not meant to be the opportunities as we said at the beginning for don't come through an easy path they come they're not when everything's going great it's when the shit's hit the fam right and that's when you know so I kind of feel like I'm constantly like when's the next one you next next lesson when's the next one coming you know how much how much you know how much humility do I need to learn today you know or what do I need to do and what choices have I made that have led to this and and how am I going to own that what's the difference what's the difference between that because I I resonate with that I always say to people but when things are going bad work hard and when things are going good work harder right you're always pushing yourself to learn grow evolve more when actually things are good because a lot of us we do the opposite when things are good we get complacent we get lost what is the difference for you between that mindset getting exhausting versus energizing because I think a lot of people would say gosh if I'm always having to figure out what to learn and what message and from the universe and my partner that's exhausting but it seems like you're energized by that which is what you see in the show like you're energized by the idea that there's more to learn what's what's the difference what have you found um how are you able to sustain that level of wanting to evolve and grow I think I think that I just came in that way bro that's that's that's just how you're buil I think I came in that way I think we all come different right when I reflect on all of the opportunities for growth in my life they all reinforce this idea that this is what I need to learn at this time right in retrospect when you're younger and in that moment of Crisis whatever that may be and listen I didn't have a mobile phone till I was 20 right but there is a window of time in my life which is almost like a void because of the immense pressure and experience that life was throwing at me at such a rapid Pace that I I literally can like there are black almost feel like blank spots right like I can't even like my friend breast friends would go but remember when we went to Japan on that Prest and I was like we we went to Japan together like yeah I'm like okay so you know um but yeah I think that's it I I think that I think starting at a young age with ch with a practice like mine help me as well to recognize constantly reinforcing this idea of opportunities through obstacles or opportunities and even when you're in it and it's nightmares oh these exams this thing this you know are this boyfriend or this girlfriend or this situation this like I think it's always simplify as well right steady y like life you know is you know at least my experience is like I I I love the high octane right and I've been at the at that depth I love the depth as well but when I'm steady when I'm just when I just like come back to the simple right simplify because sometimes you just need a walk you know what I mean you just need to go Outdoors sometimes you just need to look at the sky take a deep breath sometimes it's just and it's a few little touchstones that you can create for yourself you know so that you have tools right create your own toolbox and I think that's what I got from just so many different things whether it's Hoffman or a plant Journey or so many or or an encounter with somebody important or my relationship to daaka my mentor or and and I think it's also we're wired we're all wired differently so like you know if you but if you keep leaning into that area of um and not being afraid to lean into the discomfort of life then that's what the show has given you you know you're leaning into the discomfort you get the benefit right and you know again that might just be getting up from your couch turning off the TV or not scrolling on your phone or putting you know just deleting that app for like 24 hours so that you're just not being ruled by something outside of yourself I think in this new age right we've been in the age of of the internet I think in this new age of AI which we're all there's so much anxiety and sort of you know you know nervousness around and I saw you know um Sam mman speak about some of this stuff and um I thought it's so interesting but I think my takeaway from from what he had said and what I think is true for my life and what I can sense is discipline self-discipline because it's a choice to pick up your phone it's a choice to get lost in your phone it's a choice to keep scrolling or you can choose to put it down and step outside and simplify do that medit do that yoga class you could it's all choices right but I think the the people that I think that if as and when you know we see this new chapter of life it's going to be totally different my son your your children when you come into the world they're not going to know a world without super intelligence they're just not going to know that like my son doesn't know a world without the internet how's that impacted his life I do yeah so do I yeah but they're not going to have a know they're not going to know a world without super intellig and it's going to bring remarkable benefit to our lives no doubt I'm sure Health healing you know access life but it's like those old adages like Devil's hands you know idle Idle Hands of the Devil's Playground so I keep thinking like what's going to be my what's the discipline I'm going to create the routines and disciplines to create and keep working at so that I don't slip off into that cuz I do it I can find myself just going and I and I kind of love my algorithm by the way like like it'll send me all of your things and other people's you know and like messaging around it's definitely listening to me messaging around oh this relationship person is talking about fantastic things you know and I'm like oh that would be great for the world to see or whatever you know or whatever it may be so like don't there's not it's not all bad but it is I think the discipline the self-mastery of discipline right self discipline and self-mastery to know skill needed the one is the one that will protect because if you're like what do they call them in in games where it's like non-player NPC is it right we can all become those we can all just switch off and turn on our autopilot and just be like because you don't want to because it's overwhelming yeah it's overwhelming you're overwhelmed by the consistent I mean you know if you keep looking at the news you're just going to be overwhelmed it's wild it's wild so many friends who were like on both sides of you know conflicts you know whether you know and just it's just you just go you can just be overwhelmed right you can just and that is where we're at I think we're we're overwhelmed we're over consuming we're we're Overexposed honestly we see and hear and understand we get so much more information than than than than we need and then we continue to get more and then what's true what's not true yeah it's a lot and and that's why it's a lot and that's why if anyone's not feeling disciplined or is struggling there's a lot of compassion and amplify so much it's so hard I I you show me a human I'll show you anyone right you know even and that's true of relationships right I think one of the things like Le and Gabby Hamilton were a big part of my life at a period in my life few years ago that were that that where I was separated from my my my partner um Flynn's mom and um and I was living kind of on my own in Malibu and and they were such a really beautiful couple the way they I learn learned so much from seeing how they interacted um and I and I always appreciate that I took that away with me but I think it's like I kind of respect couples more than anything else almost almost now today somehow as well when we talk about relationship because it's the the people that have kind of gone the they're continuing to choose and not to upgrade or think they're upgrading or that the grass is greener you know cuz we can all do that and maybe we will and there's no judgment there either too by the way no judgment on any of it but personally I kind of go oh wow you know I admire that because it doesn't it's not easy man you know because as people as we age and change and it's like we're all being told that like you can get this new handbag that will go with this new car or you can get this new watch and this new thing and you're just going to keep and I love a shiny object so do I I love a shiny object you know how how have you managed to maintain your Buddhist practice and philosophy in Hollywood because I imagine that dude that bu's philosophy and products has has maintained has been my anchor it's not I haven't maintained it it's been my it's it's h it's maintained me it's held me it's it's I really feel like it's my super Cape it's my Cape it's obvious it's my like it's my superpower you know and it's it's available to anyone but I got it at a young age and I'm like it it it's my wings it's my it's my shield it's my it's my wisdom it's my courage it's my compassion if I just use it and sometimes I won't there are days I won't chant and I'm like I mean look I'm years and years into this so it's it's it's just I feel that it's never gone far from me but but I know when I'm not I'm like wait what's going on often it's been when I've been in a relationship by the way yeah wow often I've been in a relationship and I don't and I was like wait what why why is that why am I not when I'm because what's being so yeah but it's been it was that was it was my yeah it was literally my I can feel it it's it's very obvious it's very evident from the show and today it's very real in in your in your veins what's something you feel you're being called right now what's the fear you're being called to overcome right now or the lesson that you're being questioned I I sat with this question last year and it was really really interesting for me in my own meditation it was revealed to me that if I really want to serve and have the impact that I want to have that I'll have to be okay with dealing with more stress pain external kind of um energy coming at you to overcome so you can you can have you can bigger paint a bigger canvas have it will require that that's and and that was a very interesting almost request or question that I was hearing from the universe or from from my own spiritual practice of this is what's required of you are you ready for you are you okay what what have you heard that or felt that you are being What Fear are you being asked to overcome or what lesson are you being asked to learn right now anything comes because you've conquered so many fears and the show and gone to the edge what's what's an edge that is being requested of you I think that our deepest fears are often they often lie in areas unknown to us subconscious in our subconscious some of the deepest fears I have are are like related to a historical pattern of Behavioral thinking which I don't know that I was even conscious of you know like I've inherited and possibly from in my mind because of my practice and Faith generationally lifetimes previous lifetimes of thinking MH um because that's how I kind of live my life like for the next life I'm like that's how I'm looking at it now I'm like I'm living for the next one you know it's like like the Egyptians with the temples it's like they were doing that because it was like and I kind of like if I can live like that but I think that when I allow myself it feels connected to I think selfworth which I think is something that like we all kind of like you know like is Jay ready for that bigger canvas is he ready to put that message out into the world does he deserve that has he done enough for that am I worthy of that right have I have I done the work am I doing am I in the flow enough am I and also like cuz it's not it's cyclical right sometimes you're just not in the flight I had seven years of just being what felt like at some of that like swimming up River just and I because I was just I'm going to swim up this River now for some reason you know and that was partly that time when I was separated and living in mountain and like training with lead and stuff and I really kind of put my body and my mind through a lot of different before I did the show even before I did to the edge so I think I think it really for me it's like that we're enough right I think somebody said it on your wall there that you're enough but it's like I think we all struggle sometimes to really deeply believe that we are enough that we're valued that we're valuable you know we're imprinted by our parents from the age of 0 to 7 right but that's not even taking into account the the the time that you know you're in your mother's so there's a whole heap of information that is just like is it yours or is it somebody else's I'm I'm constantly trying to go like how do I detach from my this idea of what do is that is that my is that is that my baggage look like my baggage I mean I know okay that's mine all right I take that let's unpack that but all that other stuff you know and I've I've I think Hoffman taught me a lot in that space But I think I've interestingly like it's a fear of like being alone are you good to be alone I think that was the biggest for me in a long time am I good to just be on my own and I and I'm I'm constantly working on that yeah am I good enough on my own because am I good in my own company do I feel good with me just to be with just me today or for this next hour because I spent a lot of time in my youth with people who I you know really love and admire and adore and continue to but in a way it wasn't serving me I was like it was you know we talk about energy and drains and things you know there were there were there were relationships in my life that I didn't even really realize the impact that they were having and then when I did I was like oh wait a second this needs reframing and until I'm ready to reframe I'm going to just take pause to feel safe seen and celebrated but I think that I think my so in am amongst all of that I think it was probably being alone and being good with being alone and recognizing cuz we're going to be born and we're going to die alone right so it's like how how how good are you with being being alone right that's beautiful man I think and that you're enough right you don't need all the other things cuz I love a shiny object I you know whatever like although this isn't shiny but it's the one from New Zealand I don't yeah it's but you know I do I'm like I've got a fast car couple do I need them I like the way it feels but you know do we need to keep consuming all this stuff when the planet is got a ticking clock it's interesting it's really interesting I find that we're all paradoxes and we're almost giving ourselves permission to be a paradox until all of it's purified and it's almost the permission is what allows you the ability to purify whereas if you're living in the conflict of I'm only one thing you don't get the opportunity to dissolve the part that you may not be comfortable with because you have an accept it yeah but no that answer was beautiful being alone and being comfortable in your own skin and being enough and and that is the lifelong journey I feel like that's you know that is it and uh orando I I feel like I could talk to you for hours we have and I hope we do yeah we did I want to end with what we end every episode on which is called the final five of on purpose these are pretty much the same five questions that everyone gets answered and every question has to be answered in one word to one one sentence maximum okay so gosh I hate that kind of pressure these are your final five and you can take your time they're thoughtful questions uh Orlando these are your final five the first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received um my mother used to say have respect from the Dorman to the director and I think respect mhm all life anyone you meet because we're all on that Journey MH and the person that's opening the door for you could be running the country you just don't know great answer question number two what's the worst advice you've ever heard or received the worst um I mean the worst of advice that's a really tricky one you can skip it if your mind's blocked it out that's pretty cool I yeah it's hard for me to yeah that's good hard for me to the worst advice yeah yeah sorry dude no that's good don't be sorry that's totally great I mean if you blocked all out that's awesome because I I like to make a log of bad advice everyone's received because I feel like there's so much bad advice that goes around I mean I like yeah I'm not no you blocked her that's cool yeah I'm like if if it doesn't if it's not a aha for me I'm like yeah leave it leave it that's what I'm saying I don't I skip the question don't need to apologize uh question number three what's the first thought you have in the morning and the last one you have at night so we wake up in a family bed and Katie usually says thank you God for today I'm grateful in every way especially for and Daisy will go and we'll all go daddy mommy fny you know we'll all do that yeah um that's beautiful and that's and I'll then say yeah I think gra you yeah and at night yeah it's the same it's it's the same because it's like we woke up you know and I think yeah question number four um what's something that you used to value that you don't value anymore woo um dude that's so annoying other people's opinions of me right answer uh Fifth and final question we ask this to every guest who's ever been on the show if you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow what would it be I think it comes back to my first answer that my mother kind of instilled in me which is just respect yeah you know a law of respecting life all Life by Saku wada wrote this amazing um letter he came to the UK I think it was in the 80s to visit the young the youth members and he was there but he chose not to stand before them to have a communication I think he could feel like the anticipation and the complete so he wrote this letter or he may have been busy I but he but he was there but he didn't but it was a choice is from my and within it he said there's a piece about I'm going to not maybe land this but you'll get the my point this this lifetime is about you know um from the material from the external to the internal and making all mothers happy because I I I'd love to actually find the quote to read do it do it yeah yeah do it it okay so here we go I'm a member of a Buddhist organization since I'm 16 and my mentor is a Japanese man in in in Japan a man named daaku aada and in 1994 he wrote a message of encouragement to the Youth of the UK he wouldn't see them but he sent this message this is an excerpt from the message that he sent to these children to for them to listen to he reserved himself from being there but I wanted to read it because I feel it's so important and I had it written for you as well to read along but it says the times are changing from an age where Justice from an age where power is Justice to an age in which Justice is power in this new age the Supreme guiding principle will be the benefit of all Humanity rather than the interests of one particular Nation or ethnic group we will see the transformation of history from the revolution of the external environment to that of the inner self the inner Human Revolution it will be an age in which the actions of leaders will naturally be based on the guidelines of making all mothers happy the actions of leaders will be naturally based on the guidelines of making all mothers happy respect right cuz we can't us mortal men really fathom you know the power of what it means to be a mother in the world but like if we can have a little bit of because you know so interesting isn't it so interesting to see the times how they've been changing and how this m masculine that's been living in with us and we've been living with and under and around and for and is sort of transformed and how we're learning particularly as men to respect and understand the power of the Mother Mother Earth Mother Mother the mothers and it's like and he he goes on to say about respecting your father and mother and I really think he means All fathers all mothers you know I was talking about this with David who introduced me to my practice just earlier and we were saying he was saying it's I've really come to understand that it's all mothers respect all mothers respect all fathers particularly because they hopefully have some sense you know of the value of life and there is some people that don't of course there are some people that that's not but yeah so I think that's that's that that was beautiful idea I've never heard it been put that way it's a wonderful you know and and that idea as well which actually interestingly um I wrote a note of what Sam said about Alman and he was like the journey is now because I think it's way more it's not the external it's the internal if we are those little galaxies right if we really start to understand each of us and have like respect and take responsibility right imagine if you know I think what I what I kind of understood about my practice was if I'm good enough and capable enough to just take care of my side of the street right then if I get so good at it I can start to take care of other people's side of the street because there are some people that just don't have the skill set they may not have had the education they may not had the upbringing whatever it may be the circumstances they were born into a life that just didn't provide anything like the tools necessary to be able to cope with what life is like obstacles I was talking about that some for some people it's just it's just there the whole time right it's like if we're all becoming capable humans and able of taking care then we can start taking care of your neighbor right you know what I mean start taking care of the person next to you because they can't right because that's what it's going to take right in my mind for this next chapter with where you know jobs are not what they used to be and people need you know that boundary right they need that um that frame of reference that you need that kind of the security through through uh through boundaries right um so yeah the discipline but the respect and the uh all mothers happy let's make all mothers happy right it's funny orando sometimes I don't do that though by the way I try we try you've said it here now uh everyone who's been listening and watching thank you so much Orlando thank you for being what I was saying to you a second ago thank you for being so vulnerable thanks for being so open thanks for being in a space of Discovery to you know this conversation was us discovering what was in your heart what was in your mind it was us kind of unraveling and opening and those to me and my favorite conversations when you don't know where you're going but you know you're going there together and I think that's so true for so much of what we discussed and everyone's been listening and watching back at home or at work or wherever you are in the world make sure you tune in to the edge which is premiering on April 18th if you haven't already and also please please please let me and Orlando know on Instagram Tik Tok you guys cut up the best clips and everything let me know what resonated what connected tag us both so we can see what you're practicing what you're staying with you uh and what you're putting in and implementing and applying in your life but a big thank you to Orlando for showing up thanks so deeply wonderfully and I'm excited for more of these conversations to me too absolutely love it thanks so much for having me if this is the year that you're trying to get creative you're trying to build more I need you to listen to this episode with Rick Rubin on how to break into your most creative self how to use unconventional methods that lead to success and the secret to genuinely loving what you do if you're trying to find your passion and your lane Rick rubin's episode is the one for you just because I like it that doesn't give it any value like as an artist if you like it that's all of the value that's the success comes when you say I like this enough for other people to see it

Channel: Jay Shetty Podcast

Views: 160,920

Keywords: Jay Shetty, Jay Shetty Podcast, Jay Shetty Interview, On Purpose Podcast, Jay Shetty Inspiration, Jay Shetty Motivation, Jay Shetty Video, Self help, Self improvement, Self development, entrepreneur, success habits, purpose podcast, Jay Shetty relationships, orlando bloom jay shetty, orlando bloom, katy perry, orlando bloom relationship, diary of a ceo, orlando bloom on purpose, lord of the rings, orlando bloom interview

Id: VynQtg-kok0

Length: 94min 36sec (5676 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 22 2024