Ordering for Your Drunk Friends at the Drive-Through - Nick Swardson

yeah like Austin's a good drinking town a good drinking town I'm a good drinking by the way you guys don't drink and drive be responsible no response for that that's awesome that's great the whole crowds like I mean I gotta get oh [Applause] I had disappear of my home transport be careful yeah I don't drink and drive it's one thing I don't - I mean I hate being the sober cow it's the worst I rarely do it but the worst is being the sober cab and everyone in your car is shit-faced and you have to go through a fast-food drive-through and get everybody food the worst because you're in control you're at the speaker you're sitting there you got to navigate all these idiots in your car you're like mark what do you want yeah can I leave it what is that kyocho Africa I don't what's not Vietnamese what did you just say I don't know what that is let's take a meal number what meal nobody wanted 94 they don't have a 94 they don't go that high they've never gone that high there's never gonna be a meal number 94 Steve what do you want today I have a wedding cake no they don't have wedding cake nobody has wedding cake you physically can't eat a whole wedding cake all right dude chill out of the scarier vodka soda and then there's always the guy that ruins it it was like beyond blocked out like Carrie what do you want any like leans in the microphone like yeah it's off can I get some [ __ ] okay nobody gets food nobody gets food you had one easy task just pointed a glowing menu it's a glowy just pointing at it pretty sure McDonald's is gonna [ __ ] anytime soon or a big [ __ ] or whatever they would have idiots drunk friends I was reading a magazine the other day and they had a an ad for Jack Daniels this is a real ad which I loved said Jack Daniels drink responsibly which made me laugh right away because like no one's ever been close to responsible anytime I've drank Jack Daniels I've never been close that's not like a responsible night there's no couple that's like hey honey you want to stay in the night yeah let's make a fire catch up on some modern family and just chug this handle of Jack oh it's never happened that's the wrong ad for that product all right that ad should be like Jack Daniels [ __ ] good luck I hope you don't suck your own dick in front of your family it's the right ad for that product yeah the word whiskey and Gaelic means water of life which is true and it sounds so much better when you tell a girl I'm sorry I've water of life dick [Applause] yeah I'm pretty picky about what I drink I don't like frozen drinks but a chick friends like daiquiris [Music] yeah those drinks taste good right frozen drinks to taste good but you know guys we don't look that cool drinking them because they always come in like festive glasses you know I mean like Fat Tuesday like tubes just sitting there like a guy at a bar like yeah it's real good look god forbid to get into a fight or something what'd you say that's definitely good look cuz I don't want a brain freeze alright let's see you drinking like really fast like taste kids ha ha no I don't want a brain freeze smells painful thing on the face of the earth and I would think like who's the first kind of experience that like a brain freeze I mentioned how horrible that would be if that happened to you and you didn't know what was happening and that happens that would be awful so here's my impression of the first guy to experience that ok first guy to experience a brain freeze I'm gonna say it's a guy who invented ice cream why not and I'm gonna make him British cuz that's fun for me to do and hey Skitch says my poster the first guy okay trying ice cream for the first time experience a brain freeze he's like alright everyone I just created this delicious treat it's frozen it's called ice cream I'm trying it for the first time right now here we go it's amazing oh my god it's the best thing I've ever had I'm gonna eat it as fast as I can I'm gonna eat it oh my gosh oh my god somebody kill me back what am i dad I'm okay [Applause] what the hell was that that was the most pain I've ever felt in my life it was like piranhas were eating my brain that dumped him in my ear and they ate my brain away so try ice cream if you want but there are demons inside of it you

Channel: Comedy Central Stand-Up

Views: 1,981,331

Keywords: Nick Swardson, Taste It, Nick Swardson comedian, Nick Swardson stand up, stand up comedy, comedy central stand up, comedy, Austin, Austin Texas, drinking, designated driver, sober, drive-through, drive-thru, fast food, food, friends, drunk, wedding cake, Jack Daniel’s, whiskey, drink responsibly, dick, daiquiri, brain freeze, pain, ice cream, heels, women, funny, funny video, comedy videos, jokes, funny jokes, funny clips, laugh, humor, best comedy, best stand up

Id: bMEG7O9qZ6s

Length: 8min 17sec (497 seconds)

Published: Sun May 26 2019