"OKBaby" Breakup Analysis | Dangers of Combining Romance, Children, and Business

hello this is dr grande today's question is can i analyze the case of the okay baby breakup just a reminder i'm not diagnosed here in this video only speculating about what could be happening in a situation like this if you enjoy this video please like it subscribe to my channel and consider supporting me on patreon i will put the link to patreon in the description for this video first i'll look at the background in this case then i'll move to my analysis oscar morales and kira sivertsen operate a youtube channel named ok baby it's a family channel both of them were born in 1996 and they live in salt lake city utah the name of their channel comes from the first letter of each of their names and the word baby presumably because they feature their children in their videos as i understand it they have four children the couple uploaded their first video in 2015 at the time of making this video they have over a million and a half subscribers and the channel has been viewed over half a billion times over the last few years they have averaged somewhere between two and four million views a month here are a few of their video titles that i think summarize their channel pretty well bear charged our car using our family for views q a she said her first word we're having a gender reveal an unexpected surprise date and is this bad parenting now moving to their controversial announcement on january 7 2022 the couple uploaded a video titled we broke up two days later they uploaded a video titled responding to your questions about our breakup i will summarize both videos here much of this is paraphrased starting with the first video cura started by pointing out that they haven't uploaded a video in a while oscar said he tried to vlog but he had a lot of sad emotions they tried to make this video before but emotions were too raw oscar has now accepted the breakup so here they are recording the video he tried to save the relationship to no avail kira went on to explain how they have always been best friends but then she became concerned that's all they were then we see this disagreement where oscar said that he saw some behavior that he would not consider full-blown cheating kira was intent on establishing that there was no cheating she appeared to be upset that oscar introduced that topic she talked about how if he can introduce that she can introduce how he wasn't there when she had mental health issues does oscar really want to get into that type of back and forth akira then goes on to explain how much they hurt each other they both made mistakes she wants oscar to find someone else and be happy she doesn't share the same interests as oscar for example he likes excitement seeking and she does not it's selfish of her to try to hang on to him oscar then asked kira why she was so mean during the month preceding the breakup she explained that she had decided to end it but didn't want to tell him because they had a vacation to las vegas and to disneyland and she didn't want to mess that up they talked about how leading up to the breakup oscar had been angry he said he did explode a few times sounds like they had some bad arguments from kira's perspective the relationship has had problems for about a year oscar was not aware of this he didn't think they were in bad shape the couple is in a good place right now they're still trying to figure things out no one is dating and no one is looking for another love interest they remain best friends they're still sharing finances they will keep making videos together they live in the same house but they are sleeping in different rooms during the second video the couple attempted to clear up a few things they reiterated this idea that they were in a good place kyra wanted to make sure that the audience understood the motivation behind oscar's vasectomy which i guess was covered in a prior video it was his choice she discouraged him from getting it because she wants to have more children the couple talked about how they are broken up right now but it's possible that they could get back together in the future kyra said that she is not looking for a better partner she's trying to find herself she's choosing herself oscar asked her why they didn't figure this out together like why she couldn't find herself if they were still romantic partners kyra said that she could not grow without leaving her choice was not based on oscar's character he does have some bad traits but he is amazing overall she said that she loves oscar but is not in love with him kira believes that oscar is happier now that they are broken up now moving to my analysis it's important to note that there is no way to know for certain what's going on in this case this couple could be acting for all i know i will run under the assumption that they are being genuine but even still i don't know what these two are actually thinking or feeling i'm not sure they know exactly what they're thinking or feeling with that in mind here are my thoughts about a few items that stood out to me in this case item number one presumably these two were in a committed and stable relationship for some time they have four children together this is the basis for their financial success there are many reasons they should stay together breaking up under these circumstances requires some type of significant motivation typically an affair would be motivating but kyra denies having an affair or even being interested in finding another partner kira gives hints about her motive to break up with oscar suggesting that they have different interests maybe she didn't feel cared for or acknowledged and of course wanting to find herself it feels like a full description of the motivation was never adequately provided it's a bit murky oscar appears to be genuinely confused about kyra's motive and i think his confusion resonated with their audience again it feels like a piece of the puzzle is missing i get the sense that part of curious problem with oscar is that he didn't realize that she was unhappy the fact that he didn't know what was wrong and is now confused may be exactly what's bothering her item number two this couple makes a living producing videos about their family life breaking up romantically is quite inconvenient even if they are going to live in the same house and try to run their business as usual on the cynical side there are two things that occur to me on this point one kira may want oscar to leave but that would destroy their business two perhaps this was something that was staged to breathe life into their channel their channel is all about a young family pregnancy childbirth first words first steps it's all about early stages not middle or late stages of family life by breaking up they reintroduce romantic and sexual tension they can now return to the early stages of a couple trying to figure out if they want to be together it introduces kind of a mystery into the videos i don't believe this is what they are actually doing but again if one were to be cynical one could make an argument that this is kind of like the ross and rachel story from france they had to stay apart until the end to keep the tension going for the entire series when they were together it was boring when they were apart no one knew it was going to happen and it was exciting item number three oscar suggested that kira was engaged in some type of partial affair i guess he was referring to an emotional affair or something like that again kira denies this but if a third party really was involved in this relationship then this changes everything about how to interpret the behavior an affair could fully explain the motivation and how oscar had the sense of being ambushed it could also explain why kira was being mean to him before she told him when someone finds an affair partner they often suddenly and dramatically devalue their current partner the other partner is fantastic and their current partner is the worst thing in the world people tend to undervalue stability factors and obligations and overvalue the excitement of new relationships young people are particularly vulnerable to this tendency item number four is the vasectomy issue based on what they said oscar decided to do this even though kira discouraged him instead of okay baby he was thinking more about no baby i wonder if this is not the true motivation for the breakup kira was not ready to stop having children but oscar was looking at this from a cynical point of view as i mentioned their channel is about the early stages of family life having another child would generate more interest in their videos some of their best performing videos were about the time around childbirth usually growing a family means adding expenses but in their case it means growing revenue item number five when searching for a logical and coherent explanation for the breakup it's important to remember that this couple runs a family channel perhaps this speaks to their decision-making skills and judgment like not too much should be expected from them in these areas i'm not a big fan of these family channels for a number of reasons one reason is they're not showcasing any type of skill or talent it's like they're saying look at us we know how to reproduce like they figured something out that no one else has ever discovered there was one video that literally featured oscar changing a light bulb the look of satisfaction on his face after successfully changing the light bulb was disturbing another problem i have with family channels is the involuntary participation of the children in video production the kids may say that they want to be in the videos it may appear to be voluntary but they cannot truly consent these videos will be around indefinitely the behavior of the children forever memorialized and available to future employers future love interests really anybody could watch them moving to the last question is anyone a victim in this breakup there's no way to answer this question so i will look at this from both perspectives i will argue from oscar's point of view then from keira's point of view starting with the theory that oscar was a victim which appears to be how many people feel about this case under this theory oscar was just minding his own business trying to be a good partner and kira started being mean to him she deliberately withheld the fact that she decided to break up with him which is unkind and disingenuous oscar deserved to know that it was over especially considering there was no element of violence in this case if there was that's completely different when a partner is under the threat of violence sometimes they have to break up by surprise to protect themselves kyra was so mean to oscar that he figured out what was going on now he's trapped with somebody who really can't explain why she doesn't love him anymore in addition the alleged partial affair leaves oscar in a position where he can't figure out if he is really to blame or if a third party is involved maybe he blames himself but he should not oscar never has an opportunity to make changes or reconcile he's out in the cold just that quickly now looking at this breakup from keara's point of view the idea that she is a victim she is with oscar for a long time he's oblivious to her needs she wants him to care for her to pay attention to her to take an interest in topics that she enjoys when they do try to communicate oscar gets angry he admitted that he exploded on a few occasions kyra decides that he is simply not the one the heart wants what it wants she doesn't hate him but she doesn't love him she knows it's time to move on now moving to my final thoughts the breakup situation featured in this case illustrates the complexity of the motivation for terminating a romantic relationship there are many reasons for couples to stay together like children finances and convenience but for some people nothing can compensate for a lack of love i don't know who is right or wrong in this particular breakup maybe neither one of them is right or wrong but i do know that it's better for a couple to figure out if they are compatible prior to having four children i think it speaks to the value of careful selection and taking things slowly even still that strategy is not always successful even if a couple dates for years before starting a family they are still vulnerable to a breakup sometimes poorly timed breakups are inevitable those are my thoughts on the ok baby breakup case please put any opinions and thoughts in the comment section they always generate an interesting dialogue as always i hope you found my analysis of this topic to be more intriguing than changing a light bulb thanks for watching

Channel: Dr. Todd Grande

Views: 120,330

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Id: n-inpAFBcIY

Length: 13min 47sec (827 seconds)

Published: Tue Feb 01 2022