Obscure Units of Measurement

[Music] hey kids I've been told by a lot of people that there's nothing more exciting in the metric system they may have a point but I can still prove them wrong today we're gonna talk about some specific lesser-known units of measurement first is the Schmidt pain index now anybody could tell you that getting stung by a bug tends to hurt but just how much does one sting hurt compared to another our Yellowjackets worse than Hornets are fire ants worse than honeybees nobody in the world of science knew for sure that is until a young upstart by the name of Justin Schmidt decided to boldly go where no entomologist has gone before but how did he plan to quantify the level of pain caused by different insect stings well it went something like this all right honey bee Wow God that hurt I'll give that like a - next paper wasp okay that's like a three next let's try bullet ant Jesus Christ Mary Mother of Satan's left nipple it's like my hand is made entirely out of urethras and each and every one is having a red-hot catheter put in and ripped down five times every second my very being is on fire my only desire left is for death himself to bless me with sweet relief I'll give that a four no four plus in all seriousness though I'm pretty sure the index is meant to be logarithmic like earthquake magnitudes so just like a magnitude 7 earthquake is 10 times as powerful as a magnitude 6 a bullet ant sting causes a hundred times as much pain as a honeybee in total Schmidt catalog 78 different species of the order Hymenoptera which includes ants bees and wasps you can tell a man is really dedicated to his job when after getting stung by 77 insects he says to himself you know what that wasn't enough I need one more creature to inject its venom into me and only then will this list be complete I guess you could say he just really gave a Schmidt no no next is the Waffle House index so for those of you that didn't know the Waffle House is one of the most resilient establishments in the world whereas most restaurants would simply closed down in the event of say a hurricane Waffle House just goes from their normal mode to disaster response mode following extensive protocol that allows that location to keep serving customers in spite of low food supply or even a power outage in response to this business practice FEMA came up with what is known as the Waffle House index which is a system to easily assess how badly in area is damaged by a natural catastrophe if the Waffle House is fully open they're in the green which means things are basically fine if the Waffle House is using their low supply menu you're in the yellow which means that the area is almost certainly mid disaster finally if you're in the red that means the Waffle House is either closed or gone now that's a sign of some real nuclear zombie holocaust type [ __ ] going down so if you're not already dead you should probably vacate the area most engineers could tell you that structurally speaking the triangle is the strongest of all shapes but I believe that there's one shape that's even stronger godspeed Waffle House next we have the Apgar score so the Apgar score is a rating system used by hospitals to determine how healthy a newborn baby is on a scale from zero to ten it's called Apgar based on its five criteria which include appearance pulse grimace activity and respiration and each of these is rated on a scale from zero to two to get your final score personally I think this set of standards is a little flawed here's an example well it's completely blue and it doesn't really want to move at all but it's got a really fast heartbeat and it's screaming really loudly I'd give this baby like a 6 out of 10 that's good enough so in response I've invented my own rating system it's called the ragu score r is for reflexes it's common knowledge that if you hold any healthy baby by its feet and then drop it it'll always land upright if your baby can't do that that's a sure sign that it's defective a is for abnormality if your baby seems weird that's typically a good indicator that it's weird G still stands for grimace just like in the Apgar test only instead of looking at the baby's facial expression you just bring grimace from McDonald's into the room and see how the baby reacts if it starts crying that's a good sign because grimace is absolutely [ __ ] terrifying and finally you wish for ugliness just because that might sway your decision on whether or not you want to keep it now if the baby passes the test it gets to go home but if it fails then it gets shipped off to the factory and made into ragu hence the name of the test some people might be upset by this fact but you know what they say prey go today ragu tomorrow anyway that's all for today until next time I'm salmonella and thank you for watching today's video has been sponsored by ragu brand pasta sauce like the taste of pureed infants then you'll love ragu pasta sauce [Music]

Channel: Sam O'Nella Academy

Views: 10,282,600

Keywords: apgar, schmidt, justin schmidt, bullet ant, sting pain, index, waffle house

Id: el6No1wNKf0

Length: 4min 52sec (292 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 11 2016

Reddit Comments

[u/8bitbasics]

I thought he was embellishing the Waffle House Index for the sake of comedy but nope it's a 100% accurate.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Waffle_House_Index

[u/Tigger-Trading-]

Prego Today, Ragu Tommorow. - Wise Guru

[u/YoursTroolee]

He did a video on obscure scales, not units. One of my faves is the Butt, used in large amounts of wine, sort of like a keg. So if you are planning a wedding, and someone asks, how much wine do we need, and you say, a butt ton, you are actually describing a lot of wine.

[u/themetal94]

This guy deserves more subs. I've never seen a better use of Microsoft paint

[u/niadeo]

Nuh-nuh nuh nuh-nuh crack

[u/inneedofatherapist]

Didn't expect the ending.

[u/Ursuperdumb]

Video was about 4 neats, just a shame he didn't cover the neato scale.

[u/00zero00]

Ok, that ending was hilarious

[u/StagTerrierOtter]

My favourite is the nybble which is half a byte or 4bits.