Obama's 17 Best Jokes and Jabs

after the midterm elections my advisors asked me mr. president do you have a bucket list and I said well I have something that rhymes with bucket list [Applause] take executive action on immigration bucket Malia and Sasha by the way are thankful that this is my final presidential turkey pardon what I haven't told them yet is that we are going to do this every year from now on no cameras just us every year no way I'm cutting this habit cold turkey was that depressing to you seeing a one turkey kind of taken out of circulation turkey you couldn't eat six years into my presidency some people still say I'm arrogant and aloof condescending some people are so dumb I want to take a moment to recognize the brave turkeys who weren't so lucky who didn't get to ride the gravy train to freedom who met their faith with courage and sacrifice and proved that they weren't chicken it's not that bad now come on on Saturday Night Live Cicely impersonates CNN anchor Brooke Baldwin which is surprising because usually the only people impersonating journalists on CNN are journalists on CNN as the father of two teenage daughters I know the whole time you're just like and then he said girl I couldn't believe it I've even let down my key core constituency movie stars just the other day Matt Damon I love Matt Damon love the guy Matt Damon said he was disappointed in my performance well Matt I just saw The Adjustment Bureau so everybody it gets worse just this week Michelle Bachmann actually actually predicted that I would bring about the biblical end of days now that's a legacy I now I have an iPhone but it is you know like the phone you give your two-year-old yeah where like they can pretend to press things but nothing actually you know I tease Joe sometimes but he has been at my side for seven years I love that man he's not just a great vice president he is a great friend we've gotten so close in some places in Indiana they won't service pizza anymore you know if I ran a third time and be sort of like doing a third hangover movie didn't really work out very well did it apparently some folks really want to see a pot-smoking socialist in the White House we could get a third Obama term after all yes we crane that was good you don't think that's funny look I know there's some bad ones in here but this is the last time I'm doing this so we're not leaving any room for leftovers a few weeks ago Dick Cheney says he thinks I'm the worst president of his lifetime which is interesting because I think Dick Cheney is the worst president of my lifetime no one is happier no one is prouder to put this birth certificate matter to rest than the Donald and that's because he can finally get back to focusing on the issues that matter why did we fake the moon landing what really happened in Roswell and where are Biggie and Tupac President Obama will go down as perhaps the worst president in the history of the United States exclamation point at real Donald Trump at real Donald Trump at least I will go down as a president

Channel: David Taylor

Views: 1,280,820

Rating: 4.890317 out of 5

Keywords: obama, 2017, jokes

Id: NajhG8PpC2A

Length: 5min 18sec (318 seconds)

Published: Wed Jan 18 2017