NYC Still Thriving, Classic Cinema & K9 Xanax | Happy Hour w/ DESUS & MERO | SHOWTIME

[Music] yo my god where you at bro uh we at the bar waiting for you here by myself it's kind of pathetic [Music] no i'm gonna need alcohol bartender hey my guy hey what's going on how's it going today man going well beautiful day yeah yeah yeah yeah all right i need a little hair of the dog if you know what i'm talking about oh yeah what's your poison what can i get for you uh something that makes me not remember what the hell hell's going on in my life wanna start with a beer yeah you know me oh jesus hey what's up man hey thanks fan it happens all the time like i got this video i work i work for you i've worked here for like almost four years one time told me that i look like david tell but less handsome was that at was that at the live show he was in the office you told me i don't have the charisma to open an automatic door me josh from work does he come here a lot i've never seen is there a problem in this bar with people doing cocaine in the bathrooms i'm not doing cocaine oh my god the snow king white [ __ ] what's up we weren't this is my homeboy we're my close friends what are you drinking oh man give me hot could i just have a one of your strongest whiskies please strongest whiskey yeah yeah josh look but it's not come on come on come on come on bro the show is going really great show's going great yeah i didn't meet samuel jackson i mean i was standing in his way and he said excuse me but that counts to me yeah i mean i almost get you samuel jackson covered but we did hey hey oh look who it is look who it is nice and hourly thanks for joining us i'm saying we got right in the bathroom before you got here you know that's not true that's an exaggeration he doesn't remember because but he got that good bike i haven't even been in i don't even know about you come on the hip hop she likes like you know what i'm saying you know what they listen they call him metro north why he moves the white let's [ __ ] go no this is i guess metro joshua wants some sniff jose hey hey i'm not gonna be on camera my parents are gonna see this listen your parents are to connect with respected they love you that's true anyways what are you drinking yo let me get a president oh no no damn uh uh that's cool yeah a little pills there you know what i'm saying hey there we go mm-hmm he's getting the draft pack asahi you know what they say about guys that get draft beers right what is that they they want the beer and not from the camp oh sure it's not anything to say salute shout out to eric adams i can't be that i'd rather you say that i'm on cocaine so let's not have him in a second i like how these kind of balls even play the movie it is what is this movie what this is uh this is a six angry men it's about a jury note of nullification yeah yeah the other half they've come to a consensus yeah but there's six guys that are like no no look at this guy marlon brandon babysitting arguing look at my one hair hanging this is but it's not acceptable in hollywood right now if i wanted one hair hanging it would have to start at the back of my neck and go forward this is the western it's got to be i'm just going by the half is this just belly for white people this is every western him yeah for real also he's stunning with that [ __ ] scarf yes [ __ ] john wayne is the dmx of white people oh [Applause] no he got to [Laughter] that's right people remembering if they got warrants like oh oh oh yeah yeah yeah yeah heavy icon situation oh man big body best of god the homie [ __ ] day one no listen listen this is the official bronx family situations here i i know you see what time it is uh-huh you know i got brooklyn heart my love is bx first though you know the foundation okay you know what time it is you can smell the spot for the water that's right you know the pain the glory we here though man josh get over here we're doing bx [ __ ] josh i'm ready yeah that's right don't uh you know what uh say yo shout out to riverdale shut up shut up you're down yeah all right that's the library what you're drinking man oh man barry got us back i got another beer i ain't gonna lie to you man i'm fasting right now i only sit at the sunset see look at that it's my man righteousness i had to though righteous so if you were judged you know how babies listen this is a righteous man drop the charges thank you brother that was that just looked like him as a fact babe okay if you see something on citizen there's like big body best punch someone in the face that was not him i didn't do that i'm telling you babe there's somebody out here impersonating me heavy they're walking around they're borrowing money oh listen the first time any of us have worn a wire including yeah [Laughter] josh ain't never snitched right thank you what i'm saying hit the 100. y'all right his ball [ __ ] when he was like yo josh's knife i did time out for my sister i was like i'll do this out of my head i'm so asking people do you feel like new york is still popping you feel like cause people saying after cover new yorkers dead that's not new york is popping every every corner store is lit every barber shop is a fighter too there's always a disagreement you can buy zaza on the corner za's eye on the corner i gonna hold you down exactly he can't hold himself down at times true but he's gonna hold it down but you can help let me let me say this too let's go you could do things in a box store let's go you can't do in other type of stores let's go let them know primo gonna let you rock you can wait for a cab you could even open up some milk yep but you can't do what you do in the ox store the ox store you can put your mattress down you can just open up your own business in this business your work you could get a commemorative butter you could hide you could bang up a quarter you could back up a quarter you could hide you could borrow his scale mm-hmm you could throw up in the back you know what i'm saying hey you could do what you got to do make your own sandwich yo i always ask like yo it's 98 degrees you got on a suit jacket they always got that good blaze oh good they're strong blazers mouths full of cotton shots of my real ones that when you go to the volcano you're trying to open the door on this lock you like yo okay's praying i can't pray for your friends let him live you respect him praying perspective cause like this is what i'm gonna tell you people got this thing it's like yo man but like yo you're wildin but ain't you muslim i'm like listen brother my beliefs and my way of life is two different things i'm a survivor right you see me god gives me the will to survive and i make these decisions i make but it's just because i fell in love with leather i fell in love with gold i fell in love with mango pina on creston you feel me these are the things i like shout outs to my saint james mom y'all my boys we out here making movies the giraffes at bronx zoo because they're not reproducing as fast as they should have but you know we they yo shout out to the traps giraffe condoms they used to drive condoms i think they get pregnant condoms off of cowards i've been saying that oh she'd be like oh you got to count them why you got certain you nervous what you hiding watch him uh-huh don't watch me man don't watch me watch this why does old puerto rican do that you got a little piece of linoleum because you know you're going up watch out for that oh head on your block that calls everybody you're a racist like yo you notice like with dominicans like no matter what happens for any situation you could always end it off with a chat show exactly yo they just they just hit alex from the block shot shot yo she got the fatty i'm saying like yo man let's get into my opinion politics listen for all my supers for all my pizzeria pumpers you know what i'm saying you know what it is man we albanian you understand but sometimes we got to act a little italian on certain blocks we could be this we out here to get that money that's you understand hello we got mexicans afghani selling pizza we want some of that too you understood yeah i want to slice y'all left the hood we came we take you understand you know what this is man talk to this woman you see the pain man albanian aggression dominican decisions can't tell me allah don't speak spanish he do what i'm saying he's like yo puppy i'm gonna now [Laughter] oh [Laughter] dust in a church pew during a service you don't know my life exactly i don't know your life exactly it's a lot we was in bookings you'd be playing the toilet all night damn man i'm getting bad guys exactly i've got to [ __ ] a lot i learned to have books you can't go to the ceo be like i have ibs also said we just have cheese in it you have for lactose i mean lactate they're going to give it to you yeah bro they just want your piss so they can so you can piss dirty oh yeah yo there's not a lot of work that's why it feels like bookings yeah i know she's like you know we don't like we're like five minutes away from someone taking off this shirt and doing push-ups josh yeah you want to get my shirt i sweat through the cardigan station bro before that i gotta take a piss i'll be right back that's it like i might just take a nap down here on some real book and [ __ ] you know what i'm gonna just get up i'm gonna just sit here and face the corner there you go that works just think about what you've done so i'm gonna punish myself josh's movies that you think are really good lately yeah man i saw everything everywhere all at once [ __ ] killer really good movie really good movie unbelievable uh look have you seen any hood movies lately not lately what should i what should be next on my hood movie last night what is the last hood movie you saw i think i watched belly i thank you for being an ally that's that's what my i like belly means more to black people than saying black lives matter i'll just be honest with you i put up during june 2020 on my instagram i put up the poster from belly just so people know i'm an ally thank you [ __ ] [ __ ] bad for me [ __ ] oh yeah yeah yeah yo homie made these for us too you heard the fire bx jerseys you're playing games you're playing games i read what you wrote about me on facebook latino you robbed me on facebook marketplace oh [ __ ] uh yo uh can you hold my beard but i just want people to know i stand with the community he knows he knows us he knows this he's basically black he's like i'm not putting up the black square he could say the n word but he wouldn't he wouldn't he wouldn't why not that was the n word nabisco right wait let those workers unionize exactly thank you i'm dearly all right that's the real slur can i ask you how do you feel about cracker jacket [Music] [Laughter] hey with how sticky it is is it the representation of white people in a snack form because it takes from you yeah it takes right it just comes in under the guise of doing something for you exactly you think it's good but it's not but it's not good wow yeah wow it's like christopher columbus let's go get [ __ ] up yes give me a drink i need one it is the christopher columbus of snack food it is yes the nina the pinta and the what the cracker jack wow yeah people don't know oh that's it by god is that who i think it is damn it it's a muffled sunday is that fashion oh oh basty you know the original bodega queen yes from day one she's back man hold on they're about to call they gotta call my case [Laughter] yo we got fast you the crib yo how are you i'm good oh man i'm back out here where's master your mother now i am oh time's changed where's the baby at home okay good a good mother because the baby was here i considered it if it would have happened very well no judgment i thought maybe a pa could just watch out he got things he got a life of his own uh he's got his own thing all right yes and i've been djing i just dj'd last week yes in l.a is it from being a mother it it's it's like a nightmare and it's like an exciting roller coaster and it's weird because then you're like considering more kids i'm like am i like a maniac what am i thinking i'm like you get that you get that is it fun like putting drip on the baby i so i try to avoid it because i also want her to grow up with like a right mindset the kind that you you know that we have you know it's like when we have both do we enjoy it don't you think it made you a better person no no no no no that's what i'm telling you i bought the 40 years you got to see myself when he was born give that baby supreme that baby needs dunks no i don't put a best buy credit card under her name drip registry for vashti's bag let's go spoil that baby because my father said my nephew is spoiled because his mother and his father both have lexuses and he's never rolled the train and i was like isn't that the dream of an immigrant parent the child never would drink yes also have you been on a train lately no they'd be savages now and today though man the train is like is where you meet up to settle everything yeah the train is not somewhere you go to like find love it's where you look for your enemies you know you look for yourself you talk to yourself you're good imagine you couldn't give generations they never got to do that imagine i want my nephew to never have to do it i want my nephew to never have to touch a box i want like i want him to only touch like discover cards but you know it's like i want it to be balanced everything's about balance it has to be a balance i'm not a racist okay you can have uh the the baby can grow up with enemies that ride in lexuses that's boom and they're like why is josh here that's why josh is here thank you josh that but even working bro josh also josh he's like i heard a snort wait what are you guys sipping on we're sipping on everything are you drinking i i am i might do hey the one and only time i was here i came for a client dinner i got really drunk and i saw tony hawk i said some things to him that i don't remember and i'm kind of glad i don't remember because i think it was embarrassing every time you see tony hawk like you lose it like you just say yeah exactly everybody know who gets nervous when they see tony hawk tony hawk is a good legend yeah see some people like oh everyone for the whole is like oh my god you're turning off everyone else is like tony hawk that's not your real name barry what's actually drinking you know i can't drink like an old man like i normally do i usually do a whiskey uh-huh just neat i can't do that now what is it what are you drinking now rosie right now you're first keep it light yeah i feel you i feel you do you feel like your drinking has changed since covington liquidators the baby was born no one touched her for six months of her life eric adams is definitely showing up i'm seeing what's going on right now up man can i just get the um i'll get the laganitas i'm familiar you see some people's names you're like oh okay stacy anne right yeah i know like i don't i'll i'll continue so what are we doing here exactly right what's the point of this i'm like where do i find the uh good nannies at exactly she's amazing whenever my daughter cries she's like oh that's a big feeling and that's okay i'm like will you talk to me all day please does he yeah does she try with the chili food no but i feel like if i asked her to she wouldn't i feel like she was the difference that's great and like she was [ __ ] up too this [ __ ] is this [ __ ] is an endangered species this is made from pain and sorrow [Music] oh let me get a little bit man my [ __ ] stitched with heartbreak y'all just got your own bar like what is this bro i walk down there's a party on here all my favorite people right you know it too like oh wow cause she like really did her research yeah that's nice yeah just talk about what you're doing you're moving out here yo li you know he's climbing last last time i seen best we was at a party right before quarantine it was it was uh valentine's day at china chalet before they shut it down what was that doing bro i was in that i'm doing it so i walked up and i heard his voice and it sounds so familiar and i turn around he's accusing the security guard smoking k2 and i was like that's got to be bad but i was like he was like nah i seen you on murder broadway cop and k2 get out of here get out of here and then i triple checked like now he does look extra strong he might he might have been on that yeah but we ain't know it was the last one we had before before everything got lost what they say about alcohol you rent it now jersey jinxing to build it what's up what's up what's going on bro this table is divided by skin tone wow wow this is [Laughter] yo shots on my mid jinx man [Applause] rip shout out to act three you know what i'm saying if you use the light skin you can go up a [ __ ] i used to braid my hair all crazy i used to watch the pasta pasta [Applause] and i have to dvd some pastor possible videos to make sure she's not on there she looks exactly like me you'll be like that's these little sisters yo y'all remember i know you used to watch brock's um cable access remember booze entertainment yeah [Applause] that was before anybody they had the camera in the club and all the crazy jamaican clubs in the free oh shout to stacy's bashment wait a second what was i because i when i moved to new york i remember speaking spanish oh do you remember that yes was that just regular public access that was that robin bird that was that was a bad issue okay having a good time ah [Laughter] are we putting oatmeal in formula uh breast milk breast natural shots of breast milk you can freeze that [ __ ] for like a year yeah most diapers are terrible because they're filled with chemicals okay so i do healthy nest uh-huh coterie is really kodu coterie is the like bmw for diapers but i do healthy now okay now as soon as i have kids i go on twitter and i read other people who have kids and i'm like i'm gonna be a better person than you is cloth diapers like out of control that's not gonna happen okay so i was the same way when i would hear parents talk i was like uh-huh that's sad for you right that's terrible for you because i'm gonna be a better parent exactly and then you have a kid and you're like my your whole world is turned off oh sure they were right yeah yeah everything they said was right so the cloth diaper i also was like i'm gonna do some calls and i was like no i can't do this do you ever pinch your kid at an anger it's okay just ask it picture's crazy apparently i always see moms doing like lots of crafts and i'm like i don't really have the time for that i don't know what are you doing puzzles right it's just like they're making things out of like food coloring and like dough yeah okay i can't i really do be thinking my wife is like okay because she does a lot of that stuff wow and i'm just like oh it's not it's just you in the house you get your wife's on cocaine and who's sitting next to you [Applause] much is the kilo what's the price i don't know he's lying his last three things on your search engine go also for the record is 38 unless you're uptown you can get it for like 36. all right excuse me can i get another uh cerveza i could do i could tell you a kilo is 2.2 pounds and then that's all i know i love it that's enough that's the kind of guy you want in court we got brussels sprouts which apparently if you're from the bronx we've never had these before because they don't grow them and the girl orders french fries you're like oh she doesn't feel comfortable [Laughter] yo ma yo yo if you want to show homeboy that you're classy seasonal vegetables at the chinese spot it's just egg to embrace our west indianism send the child five yards just two years mother i didn't have a choice yo for real okay but also [ __ ] [ __ ] your ass up oh so if you can fall into our house and die yeah what block was that no you say you're blocked okay oh no we talked about black river there's no payroll oh i'm like yo you don't say a shout out to if you want to take a hot shower you get a bucket you fill it with water and put it in the tree at 6am and you come back at 5pm and you hope that's it that's just full of 10 bucks and you'll be like i understand what you can't talk about those are the cousins when you go visit them they're really mad you ain't bring [ __ ] like like you didn't bring vhs my thing is why they why didn't you send me versace jeans i was like i guess you sent me an iphone i'm like do you know how much an iphone is like oh so they asked for wheelchair they're like oh cause they sent me a macbook i was like that's not how they work down bro i'm not if it doesn't the battle is not going if it's fragile and they can't go in the barrel it's not going i think you're not you're my fourth cousin once removed you're not getting a magnet right right like i don't know you you don't need all that [ __ ] just to all your enemies yeah yeah next season of survivor it's just you it's the best just besting me on with the bike on 12 o'clock there's just a hundred people in jamaica walking around with joking off t-shirts [Laughter] [Applause] has the same oh tolerance as me so my dog could do like three outside the business like what's up [ __ ] let's go my dog takes xanax and it's still like this is talking about y'all gonna catch a case y'all keep [ __ ] around [Laughter] who take care of your dog when you travel in the world who's taking care of your dog you travel in the world we talked about spoiling children you guys are spoiling you're spoiling your baby dog listen hello see they're gonna be like i can't live here because of that that's not our problem that's y'all probably breaking generational [Laughter] but that comes from struggle that doesn't come from spoiling that's right exactly so that's why when she was talking about club diapers i used club diapers too but it was kleenex what i'm saying [ __ ] in the [ __ ] and i'm just you know what i started at the bottom your body was different bro just different bottoms yeah you went to kingsbridge got a shape up and it was over for drake after that you see two dominican girls he was like all right first of all give it up for basketball yeah yeah okay she was back then when we had the open bar sponsored by the yard [Laughter] wow yo apt [Applause] [Laughter] myself on fire right now oh my god oh shout out to everyone to have uh sex in the windows what's up wait what's up so next time [Laughter] has a question what's your sign what can you guess oh [ __ ] no no i just i would guess libra oh wow okay brother wow [Music] [Music] yes [Music] yo welcome to the official jesus admiral youtube channel like comment and subscribe to see some dope content that you can only get here sit back you know what i'm saying watch a video or two or three or five you don't say whatever you want to do you can take your pants on and off

Channel: DESUS & MERO

Views: 152,079

Keywords: Bodega, Bodega Boys, Bodega Hive, Bronx, Late Night, Mero, TV, comedy, coronavirus, covid-19, desus & mero, desus and mero, desusnice, podcast, politics, quarantine, social distance, talk show, thekidmero, trends, tv talk show, sundays, Josh Gondelman, Big Body Bes, Vashtie, Brandon Jinx Jenkins, eric adams, happy hour, full episode, drinking, Albanian politics, bookings behavior, big Cracker Jack, throwing drip on babies, public access television in NYC, K9 Xanax

Id: ETUeFBFyyDo

Length: 37min 38sec (2258 seconds)

Published: Wed May 04 2022