November 27, 2016 - Carter Conlon - When I Don't Understand

I'd like to share with you a word that's been boiling deep in my heart all week matter of fact for a long time now and it's a message that's simply called when I don't understand when I don't understand the way that God is leading me when I don't understand the work that he's doing in my life when I don't even know if he's still there doing something when the deepest question of your heart can be if I missed God did I miss something in my life did I take a wrong turn somewhere along this journey what happened to me and why is the closeness that I once felt to him to Jesus Christ seemingly gone so far from my heart what could it be that God is doing in my life Psalm 22 please if you go there with me in the Old Testament Psalm 22 now father I thank you with all my heart Lord for the touch of heaven on this day you have been with us in the sanctuary you have met with us Lord God you have touched our hearts already in the worship you've spoken about something to come you even had a sing this morning I will understand it one day in the by-and-by so God thank you Lord for renewing faith in our hearts and giving us confidence in you and your faithfulness to us you yourself Lord said I will never leave you or forsake you and so Lord that makes it definitive would you help us to understand now your workings how is it more that you lead your people and why did the valley sometimes seem dark and even foreboding I thank you for this with all my heart in Jesus name Psalm 22 now I know everybody knows that Psalm 24 most know that sound 22 is the psalm that Jesus Christ quoted on the cross when he said my God my God why have you forsaken me but if you read the whole psalm you'll see it's a psalm of victory but I don't want to look at it from that perspective this morning I want to look at it from the perspective of the life of King David who actually was the human instrument God used to penned this song and we can draw the inference that he must have been experiencing these emotions in his own life it would almost be fraudulent for him to be writing something that he wasn't even personally going through there had to be something now obviously the hand of God was on him and he was describing it was entering the fellowship of Christ's sufferings but I want to talk about King David himself as a vessel that God used in Psalm 22 and verse 1 he says my God my God why have you forsaken me why are you so far from helping me and from the words of my groaning oh my god I cry in the daytime but you do not hear and in the night season and I'm not silent having started his life with such promise presence of God being in him in an unprecedented way perhaps even in many in his generation starting out with an anointing of God from his very youth and I'd suddenly feeling forsaken by God feeling like the Lord has abandoned him on this journey that his prayers are not being answered said I cry in the daytime and in the night season I'm not silence on in other words I am seeking you I'm calling out to him crying out to you but why are you not hearing me somewhere near the year 2000 most likely between 1997 and 2000 I was very very sick we didn't know it but our home in New Jersey had toxic mold poisoning in it by the time it was discovered the entire attic was black there was they tell me no visible wood in the attic and it was not that old of a house and having come here in 1994 I found myself in 1995 developing a cough which subsequently turned into a form of bronchial asthma to the point where even walking down the street sometimes I could I felt like I was going to pass out I'd have to stop and gather my breath again and you have to understand I was a jogger up to this point I'm used when I first found out I was sick I was jogging in Central Park I started coughing so badly I could hardly breathe but not knowing what the problem was ended up seeing one of the best doctors in the country in Alban II and after it was diagnosed he ended up telling me he said you will most likely never recover from this he said the damage is quite extensive to your bronchial tubes but during that season in the mornings I had an oxygen tank in my office at home in our apartment here on 51st and I would have to breathe into an oxygen mask for about 15 minutes to try to get rid of the headaches in the morning because that is one of the signs of toxic mold poisoning is you get terrible terrible migraine headaches and the one thing that seemed to help it was oxygen so I'd be sitting there with an oxygen mask and it was a time of despair it was a time of questions coming into my heart like you experienced we all experienced these questions and I started writing during my devotions I started writing poems really as what they were and they eventually became songs and most of them were published in a CD called quiet times which thank God has blessed many many people throughout the world especially those who are at home alone sick and firm seems to be a touch of heaven on these songs that gives them strength to face tomorrow but I wrote one in particular it was called when I don't understand and it was written from the depths of my heart I remember the morning sitting at my desk actually writing this not as a song I would start hearing the tune later on but initially it was just a poem that I wrote and I'd like to sing it for you this morning before I continue in this message Greg's gonna help me on piano Skol when I don't understand I think the words will be on the screen about me as well but I don't understand the way the heads you lead and my fear tries to say no one cares it's then that you whisper with heaven sweet long and tell me forever your they tell me forever you're their author trials and testings my heart would believe I've lost touch with mercy why would God receive such a flawed sneaking vessel to have for his own to share in his glory come to his throne but I don't understand the way that you lead and my fear try is to say no one came it's then that you whisper with heaven sweet home tell me forever you're the until me forever your day it's his blood that has saved me and called me to peace by his Spirit I'm quickened and I'm giving release from weakness to glory by his life within I'm free from Dominion and power upsie so lead me dear Jesus to where I can't go give strength I've never had so that others might know you call not the righteous but the week for your own to pass through the veil and an air raid when I don't singing but they understand the way that you lead and my fear tries to say no one cares it's then that you whisper with heaven sweet long until me forever you're there tell me forever you're the prophet Isaiah God says through the prophet Isaiah in chapter 55 verse 8 for my thoughts are not your thoughts nor are my ways your voice my way says the Lord far as the heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts for as the rain comes down and the snow from heaven and do not return there but water the earth and make it to bring forth and bud that it may give seed to the sower and bread to the eater so shall my word be that goes forth from my mouth it shall not return to me void but it shall accomplish that which I please and it shall prosper in the thing which I sent it in other words God saying to the prophet Isaiah I do things my way and you may not understand why you may ask the question why and sometimes we'll never get the answer to the question there's been times in many of our lives when we do get the answer but there's times when you won't get the answer it really boils down to a place of trust I have to trust it you have to trust that God knows what he's doing and the day we gave our lives to him we were sealed in the hand of God the Father that's what Jesus says and we're being carried by His mercy by his faithfulness and by His grace until that day that we are deposited at the throne of God in eternity and God knows what we need it must have been hard for King David to understand this season in his life especially knowing that he had for so long been living a life governed and sustained by the promises of God listen to what he says in verses 9 to 11 of Psalm 22 but you are he who took me out of the womb you made me trust while on my mother's breast another as he's raised obviously in a godly home because he had the power to trust God to fight a lion and a bear even in his young teenage years I was cast upon you from birth from my mother's womb you've been my God be not far from me for trouble is near and there is none to help he was going through that season in his life where there seemed to be no natural answer to the question why God I remember when Samuel David could say came to my house and I was brought in from the field and he poured that flask of oil upon my head and began to prophesy that which God was going to do in and through my life that I was going to lead the nation of Israel and be a forerunner to something much greater that only God Himself fully could understand her comprehend at that time and going out from that place of anointing and taking on a giant called Goliath and defeating him with only faith and confidence in Almighty God joining the army of Saul leading squads into battles and coming back with incredible victories that he ended in his heart knew that only God could have won these victories now he's pursued by a madman the king who's lost the Spirit of God and his envious of them is now pursuing him to take his life he's surrounded this may be the very illustration it doesn't say there's no history historical data that tells us when this was written but you have to assume it's at this these kind of pivotal moments in David's life excuse me what'd he do in his heart that he was surrounded and his own natural strength was not going to be sufficient to meet the need that was before him and David could have asked the question like you and I asked why is this necessary why can't we just proceed from the promise made to the place of the promise fulfilled what does all this middle ground have to happen it is there a divine purpose in it will I ever understand it I want you to think just for a moment about the prophet Elijah and through the story of one sequence in his life how faithful God is to prepare us for that which we are going to have to face every one of us in the future this is a man who prayed for the spiritual restoration of the people and of a nation that he loved and so hard did God respond now we know that God could just come down his presence is sufficient he could bend the whole nation we pray for New York City for example he could bend the city in a moment of time seconds if he came down in the fullness of his glory there's not a person to be standing in the streets not a cab would be driving not not an arrogant god-hating person or casual person or even a religious person would still be standing people be laying in the streets if God came down with the fullness of his presence and power and we know he can do that we know he can do that but for his reasons remember his thoughts are higher than our thoughts his ways are higher so the Lord responds to Elijah's prayer by sending a drought and a shortage of food and even a potential depression upon the people so that they might turn back to God again he had to produce something and he chose to do it this way to cause the people to begin to think about their ways have you noticed does it come to your attention that there is an increasing depression happening in the United States of America today have you noticed that opiate and heroin addiction is starting to infiltrate our cities and not just teenagers in the street anymore now it's mums and dads now it's 50 and 60 60 years old that are high on opiates and heroin and all kinds of addictions there's a depression and people are looking for something to satisfy and God is producing that cry in the people of it if you really seek Him you begin to understand that and so he sends him to sit by a river a brook cherith it's called in 1st Kings chapter 17 verses 3 and 4 and Elijah could have asked the question in his heart why the delay Lord I know who you are I know the power you have why the delay why this three and a half year delay in answering my prayer and why here are the no 5-star inns left in the country where I could ride this out why do I have to sit beside this Brook and just trusting for Ravens to come down and drop a dead rabbit in my lap every day that's exactly what happened Ravens were finding animals and they're killing them and they're bringing them and dropping them 'god fed him beside that brook there are two reasons that come to my mind that why the lord did it this way now having having the privilege of looking back historically and not forward as it was his case I we now know the full story and knowing the full story as God knows the full story of your life my friend God knows what you're gonna face tomorrow number one Elijah if you're going to represent me before the people you must be aware of an apart acre of their sufferings nothing annoys me more than a preacher who descends out of an ivory tower to preach the God's people who has never suffered doesn't want to be a part Dave goes back to a five-star environment lives there stays there and comes out with all these wonderful theories about God week after week the second thing the Lord was teaching him is that he could provide in the wilderness he was in a wilderness it was beside a broken he had to trust God for the provision every day for three and a half years knowing God knew that Elijah was soon gonna have to face and pass through a wilderness of his own feelings of failure and depression wasn't gonna be far down the road that Elijah was gonna flee he was gonna win a victory but then he was gonna flee from a queen called Jezebel he was gonna run into the wilderness hide under a juniper tree and ask God to take his life he was going to be overwhelmed with a sense of failure on the mission that was given him he needed to be taught of God and prepared that when your wilderness time comes I can and I will look after you I will not fail you I will not forsake you God knows what you and I are about to face in the future and what it will take to get us through he knows what you're gonna face next week next year the year after and being a faithful father a heavenly father he will start to prepare you now and start to plant in you what you're going to need to get through those days and you sit there may say oh god why oh god why oh god why and sometimes we will understand in the future most times we will but sometimes we won't then the second curious thing happens after the brook dries up he sends it legend to a poor Widow why a poor Widow why not a rich one why does God send Elijah to somebody by her testimony she's going out she's gathering a couple sticks to make it fire she's got a little bit of flour a little bit of oil she's gonna make cakes for her and her son and by her testimony she's going to die and God sends he lied you to this home and says I've commanded her to feed you and look after you and there's a reason I see it's that he needed to see what God could do with a little faith and a little bit of resource because God was about to use him to train others to believe for the next generation God was about to use them folks when revival comes if we experience a spiritual awakening in America people are going to flock to the house of God with seemingly so little faith and so little resource but we have to have the eyes having gone through it ourselves we have to have the eyes to see that God can take nothing and make something out of it he doesn't need our talent doesn't need our abilities he doesn't need our resources he has all the talent he has all the ability he has all the resources he simply needs somebody who has a willingness to say God would you take my life and would you use it for your glory may God give us eyes of faith that we're not looking at people are going to come to these altars in the condition they're going to come in we don't see them that way give us the eyes of Jesus to say this is who you are but this is who you will be in the not-too-distant future from now this is what God is going to do in your life again in Isaiah chapter 55 verses 12 and 13 he said you shall go out with joy and be let out with peace the mountains and the hills shall break forth into singing before you and all the trees of the fields will clap their hands now this is after he says my ways are not your ways my thoughts are not your thoughts I've sent my word and my word is going to prosper in the thing which I sent for it and here's the promise now there's people Israel it does apply to us you will go out with joy you'll be let out with peace the mountains and the hills will break forth into singing that's every obstacle will be commanded to worship God and all the trees in the field will swap their hands instead of the thorn will come up the cypress tree instead of the browser so come up the myrtle tree in other words instead of all that appears to be barren hopeless all that seems to cause pain you see is talking about briars and thorns instead of everything that has caused pain there's going to be fruitfulness in your life and it will be a name for a name to the Lord and an everlasting sign that will not be cut off God was saying through Isaiah yes you're going to go through pain and you're going to go through times of feeling barren but I'm going to bring you out with such power I'm going to bring you through with such glory you're gonna know me in such an intimate way it will seem like all nature itself is copying its hands at how faithful I've been to you and I'm gonna take you and you're nothing so I'm going to take you in your confusion and I'm gonna do a work and you're so powerful that it will bring my name the Lord says to glory my name not yours my name my name will be brought to glory in Psalm 22 again David goes on in the latter half of verse 21 he says you have answered me I will declare your name to my brethren in the midst of the assembly I will praise you you who fear the Lord praise him all your descendants of Jacob glorify him and fear him all you offspring of Israel for he is not despised nor horde the affliction of the afflicted nor has he hidden his face from him but when he cried to him he heard when you gave your life to Jesus he heard you when you said Lord take my life and use it for your glory he heard you when you said Lord prepare me to be a vessel in your hands he heard you when you said God teach me to get through what I'm gonna have to face in my life he heard you he has not despised your affliction he is not offended by your weakness or even by the questions that come into your heart but when you cried out to God he heard you he heard you you see the reason we get into trouble in our understanding of God is because when we pray we immediately formulate an answer in our minds as to what the answers going to look like that's what you do it's what I do when you went to that altar and you uttered your sweet words remember those sweet words Lord take my life use it for your glory what did you see crowds healings demons fleeing and you created this picture we all do of what this is going to look like what the journey is going to be and yet the journey doesn't pan out the way we thought it was going to be but God did hear us and God did answer your prayer he doesn't want to lose you he doesn't want you to fall by the roadside it doesn't want you to be overwhelmed by the struggles he knows what you're going to have to face do you understand that he knows what you're gonna have to face when I was sick here in New York City back in those days I prayed this person Lord I cried out to you and asked you to lose use my life for your glory I came to New York City by your will not by my own and I stood by a man of God and I fought his enemies as if they were my own and it was a difficult time it was a hard time and now I can barely breathe or walk down the street without feeling like I'm going to pass out and I remember the prayer I was there used to be a restaurant called beefsteak Charlie's over on 51st or its eighth rather near 51st and I was walking by and it was one of those nights where others I would see these black dots around me all the time as I was walking because I was always on the verge of passing out I wasn't getting enough oxygen and I cried out out loud is this really necessary and I meant it with all my heart it wasn't an accusation against him but but God hasn't it been hard enough here we've had to fight to get through and Lord you sent me to help this man of God and I've given my all everything I've got I've given for this battle to the point of exhaustion and now now I'm so sick he can hardly breathe is this really necessary that was my prayer I was so surprised when he said yes it is very necessary and immediately there were three passages from psalm 119 that came into my mind before I was afflicted I went astray but now I have learned thy statutes in faithfulness Lord thou hast afflicted me that I may learn your ways that I may understand I began to realize God was saying it is my faithfulness that has allowed this into your life you are not being overpowered by the devil this is not even the devil attacking you I have allowed this to come into your life for a specific reason and it was estranged the reason he told me because I didn't know at that time that I would be called soon to lead this church I had no idea we'd never discussed it pastor David Wilkerson and myself it wasn't even in my thinking to be the senior pastor of this church I had come here only and specifically to help pastor David Wilkerson through a certain period in his life and I didn't even know how long I was going to stay here but I felt like I had done faithfully what God called me to do not knowing that probably a year or so from when I prayed that prayer on this platform one day Pastor David that's the way he always did things prophets are very unique in different different kind of people we'd never had any discussion of this at all we're in the middle of worship he leans over to me and says you're ready now and I have no idea what he's talking about no idea what he's talking about is his half deaf in his right ear so you got a shout to get get back up and I said ready for what and he says you're ready to lead the church now he said I'll be putting honor on you and he said I'll be beginning a slow department a gradual departure from the church he said but you are the man God sent to replace me I've never had this conversation before and it's in the middle of 10 a.m. worship you see the Lord spoke to my heart that day on the street and here's what he said to me I have to teach you how to be dependent on me told me in front of beefsteak Charlie's I don't want your opinions and I don't want your ideas I want you to obey me I want you to learn how to follow me when I speak I'm gonna take away your strength and I'm gonna make you dependent on me you can't accept every invitation that comes to speak at conferences and places because you won't have the strength to do it if I'm not with you I have afflicted you in faithfulness how faithful God is years later I wrote another song the grades gonna come and help me with this again yes both Greg and I have colds were both on dayquil today I was reading a psalm 46 God is our refuge and strength a very present help in trouble therefore we will not fear even though the earth be removed and though the mountains be carried into the midst of the sea though the water waters roar and be troubled though the mountains shake with its swelling there is a river there's it in other words as a place and a promise who streams shall make glad the City of God and I do pray when I don't understand is a song written at a certain time in my life but thank God for his faithfulness because he brings you through those times you don't understand and I wrote a new chorus a few years ago called I will trust in God I will trust in God I will trust in God all the days of my life I don't always have to have the answer anymore I don't need to know the reason but I do know that God will be faithful he will be faithful he would be faithful to you and be faithful to your marriage and be faithful to your children be faithful in your home you'd be faithful to keep your mind you'd be faithful you're not gonna fail you're not gonna falter you're not gonna fall the devil is not gonna gain advantage over you because Jesus Christ has inter wolf in the honor of his name in keeping you and he's gonna plant in you what you need to get through the days that are ahead of you you have to understand that the trial that you're in today has a reason that is it has a purpose in your life and one day you're gonna be able to sing this song with all of your heart I will trust in God I will trust in God a whole of my dings though the seas may roll and mountains leave their place hearts have been may fade tears of on every face safely I will stand in God's Amazing Grace I will trust in God I will trust in God come with me in Christ I say I will trust in God I will trust in God I will trust in God come with me in Christ I say I will trust in God let's take it from the beginning of sing it as if it's your own song now I will trust in God all of my day though the seas may roll announcing their play the hearts have been made tears on every face safely I will stand in God's Amazing Grace I will trust in God I will trust in God come what may in Christ I say I will trust in God I will trust in God I will trust in God come what may Christ I say I will trust I want to give an altar call this morning we're gonna sing that song again cuz as a whole congregation but for people that are you're really really you're going through such a trial and you had that question deep in your heart this morning why Oh God why have you forsaken me why are you so far from me why did I start with such promise and it seems like I'm in the valley of the shadow of death you don't know the answer right now but you will soon God's putting his strength in you and if you just want to come and join me here at this altar and and just say god I'm gonna choose to trust you today I don't need any other answer the answer is that you are faithful and you will never be anything but faithful to me you will keep me in all my trials so let that be your song today let that be the song that you leave this sanctuary with today I will trust in God I'm not gonna leave your singing why why any longer I trust your Lord you will not fail me you will not forsake me whatever it is that you're going through let's stand together and just make your way down in the balcony go neither exit and the anok between the screens and just make your way here and we're gonna pray together for strength I love that verse in Amazing Grace through many dangers toils and snares I have already come tis grace God's favour God's strength God's promises have brought me safe thus far and grace will lead me home praise be to God father in Jesus name for day I just pray for these men and women who have come forward today God for strength in every home every heart every ministry that's represented here every marriage got every situation Lord God you are the one born you are planting in each of us Lord that which we will need we will need to get through the coming days you and so father we thank you God we thank you for the hard places we thank you for the tears we thank you for the sorrow or whatever it is you placed in us God you tell us that all these things will work together for good because we love you and are the called according to your purpose like this Oh God even under the hard places let that which is as sweet as honey begin to flow through our lives God and begin to bless others Lord for coming after us as you've kept us when we had nothing help us to trust for others who come into the house of God and they have nothing Lord help our words to be kind help our words to be empowering enabling for people who will come looking for help and looking for hope God we thank you with all of our heart for how merciful that you are how kind you are good you are how faithful you are just lift your hands and begin to thank him just begin to thank him out loud just begin to thank it for how faithful God is how faithful he is to placing you what needs to be there God knows God knows God knows God knows God knows what you need God knows what you need God knows and will be faithful to keep you he will be faithful he will be faithful to you thank you lord thank you God thank you Jesus thank you for touching so many hearts Lord for giving sight to so many blinded eyes God we just thank you for your faithfulness to us Lord even in spite of our faithlessness Lord you remain faithful and when our hearts condemn us Lord you're greater than our heart thank you for loving us God in spite of our questions our struggles our trials our frailties work you love us God your love is an unconditional love thank you for your love thank you for the greatness of your redemption thank you for the shedding of your blood thank you Lord for paying the price God for our wrong thank you for your Holy Spirit God your strength your power your promises to us God we bless you we bless you and we praise you this day and we thank you in the mighty in the unmatchable name of jesus christ the son of god we give you praise and glory this day oh god we thank you lord thank you God thank you lord thank you God I will trust in God I will trust in come with a price I say I will Oh still I will trust I'm what may I won't trust you I will I will trust I put I'm soon my I will trust you

Channel: Times Square Church

Views: 35,139

Rating: 4.8690176 out of 5

Keywords: Carter Conlon, Sermon, Times Square Church

Id: RGHWo82KktU

Length: 39min 43sec (2383 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 29 2016