No One Likes Poor Petey | Fugget About It | Adult Cartoon | Full Episode | TV Show

[Music] how you doing I'm Jimmy Falcone a former Mafia big shot and current Suburban snook living in witness protection in Canon it wasn't easy giving up the old life my family and me was used to living a certain way look in a certain way and mostly walk in a certain way and so I say and he goes what's the matter with you'll still got people come on the sooner you learn how to speak Canadian the sooner we can send you to your new home wait a minute they don't have American cheese in Canada they do but it's called processed cheese does it still taste like crap yes for the most part yes there's no Cliffs notes up there how am I gonna almost not fail my classes they're called Kohl's notes but I'd recommend studying harder you're cute wait a minute they call a garbage disposal a garberator yes that sounds sexy how come they don't have Canadian bacon in Canada they call it back bacon what from the back end of the pig why don't they just call it ass bacon that might go good with that progress cheese do they call it a stick up or a hold up people it's not that hard bathrooms are called washrooms whole milk is called wait this can't be right it says here it's called homo milk oh what kind of sick country you taking us to and who exactly milks these homos but we had no choice but to pick up this God forsaken language before they ship us off to vagina Regina Saskatchewan where I'm still trying to learn my ABCs but if you think just because we live in the Great White North we're gonna drink homo milk forget about it let me tell you something about a friend of ours named Jimmy I made the wise guy and the Kappa with a gambini but when we found out that they'd be whacking Uncle teach they take the bus he threw him from the 19th Floor sweep it wasn't much along till the marble once in dead so Jimmy had no choice about to talk at the wall the beds the fans will say they helped if they could use him as a pun so he rented out his friends and moved through Saskatchewan forget about it forget about it oh forget about it [Music] I did it I recreated the universe all those Friday nights spent honing my math skills and letting my limbs atrophy have paid off time to discover once and for all the true nature of our world oh my God my shoes stop your shoes aren't in there they're on your feet I know but the is where they sleep besides with no shoes in it what's so important about a stupid box because inside this box is an exact replica of all existence one glance and I will unravel the mysteries of creation and discover the true meaning of life yeah fine whatever just put it back in my room when you're done and now the Moment of Truth wheel over Stephen Hawking wow this is amazing an endless vast expanse of nothing I mean I knew it would be that but but it's just so darn big I'm just a speck planets is back I'm a speck on a speck on a speck at least you have legs a little pasta bolognese a nice Chianti some antipasti and butter bean that raccoons going down why you gotta waste a good meal just strangle it Jimmy get rid of that trap you know how Petey gets when we kill animals Humane this and do you have to slaughter them for fun Nats cook the boys gotta learn we're on top of the food chain because we evolved over hundreds of years before you say anything kid I'm telling you this Furman has it coming don't go eat my geraniums buddy I'm a man and I kill things what do I care if one little raccoon dies when the universe is endless human endeavor pointless and life meaningless utterly meaningless well that was weird he didn't even make me feel guilty which somehow makes me feel guilty [Music] I just have two peas because I had a big glass of water for lunch why food won't fill the void Haiti ate for God's sake there are children starving right beside you so what we're all just mites of dust with no reason to live whoa whoa whoa no reason to live what about day of attract Vector that's worth living for a Fendi bag and stole credit scratching a real itchy body and have you ever seen the tanned backside of a hot Brazilian I was gonna say nut how about your family aren't we worth living for and you better say yes or I'll kill you promise may God have mercy on your soul Peter Frampton Falcone nice try but there is no God what I've seen the universe mother and it's a never-ending desert of nothing God has left the building well if he's leaving I should be allowed to leave do I have to finish my pee I know I just did no wait there we go ah young Peter taking a kick at the can of the old kick of the can game brings back memories my father used to kick my can now don't forget to recycle this why bother they're just a bunch of random molecules ah nihilism existentialism's ugly cousin but I defend your rights to your beliefs so all I can say is recycle or pay a fine for Canada where every day is Earth Day foreign can we talk I'm worried about Petey I don't know what's wrong with him and I don't know what's wrong with me for suddenly Karen what's wrong with him Jimmy I tell you this every time you worry about the kid you get him drunk you get them laid you'll find the meaning of life I'm not sure that's good parent and teach you remember your first time sure her name was Sharon and she had the body of a goddess she needed help changing a flat tire and then she pulled your pants off and showed you the time of your life how did you know that because she was a [ __ ] ah not horse [ __ ] or prostitute what you're dead Peter he told me all about it it was a tubby teenager who liked Broadway musicals he had to set you straight it's true I haven't listened to Miss Saigon since I can't believe this Cheech I mean I think about that day with Sharon a lot I mean a lot like just last night with Cookie and it's not just the sex but how I wooed her how I won her it gave me the confidence to do so many other things geez Jimmy you're not gonna bother how could you betray me so Sharon how could you not let me know one more note and I swear to God I'll put you out of your misery [Music] oh Virgin Mary I don't know what to do my dear sweet little boy is going to spend eternity in Hell Fire because he doesn't believe in God if there's no God who knocked me up hey oh I need your help he's my only son don't tell me about Sons mine totally dissed me chose his father over me of course his dad did have that Deluxe apartment in the sky please Mary stay on topic I bet he goes and gets himself caught up with that Apostle gang and literally throws his life away and for what uh mankind plays what they ever do for him I wanted him to go to med school but he wanted to be a carpenter he could have been Dr Christ for Christ's sake but no he wanted to make chairs aye such a disappointment look Mary how about Petey you mean Peter he was no saint let me tell you he made a pass at me Jesus's Bar Mitzvah he had a thing for older women not many people know this but I am the original MILF I'm talking about my boy Petey how do do I get him to start believing in God again all right all right here's what you do tell the kid to pray for something I'll call the ex and make it happen you do that for me oh thank you so much no problem I got nothing going today except lending my image to a piece of toast in Newark then I'm wide open [Music] come on everybody time for church Jesus Christ Jimmy I've been in Canada for six months I got nothing to confess as you know I will not be joining you to worship your tin God fine by me hey if you don't gotta go why do I gotta go we gotta get everybody out of the house Petey don't know it but I hired him a girl and she'll be here any minute but you were so upset that your father did it for you yeah but I got to thinking about it in the shower and I came around ah church is for suckers no it's fun I love going into the confessional and making the priests blush I like going in and punching them into Bojangles but not every week pity I'm trying to accept this whole not believing in God thing so does that mean you've canceled the exorcism no I already paid for the caterer just do me a favor pray one time if God doesn't answer I'll never bother you again indulge the woman who brought you into this world so she doesn't have to take you out is she really so naive as to think I can just get on my knees put my hands together and say I pray that a pretty girl shows up on my doorstep and it'll happen religion is nothing but one big Band-Aid on the scab of Life hi my car broke down and my cell phone's dead can I come in and use your phone I can't believe it God actually exists and he has the same taste as me yeah I don't mind waiting auto club I'm at a really cute guy's house and his parents aren't home how could this be I was certain there was only nothing this and then she appears God has spoken the auto club will be here in an hour exactly what should we do to kill the time this is amazing can you hang on I gotta give thanks thanks I guess now it's my turn to show gratitude for letting me wait here thanks again [Music] foreign no I can't I must reject all sin okay so what are we gonna do for the next 57 minutes um buttocks tip a word score you have a very rich vocabulary I'm a big fan of 18th century erotic literature Brenda you're amazing you're the most fascinating player I've ever seen I can't wait to see which exotic word you'll put down next oh I'm not finished all right fellatio one two four five seven eight ten double word score makes twenty and well that's it for me I thought you were waiting for the auto club they're taking too long I'll just drive it to the gas station then why did too many questions well can I see you again sure I can do five to six tomorrow or a quickie at 7 45. I'll take both Praise Jesus foreign I thought life was a big pile of junk it was the most amazing thing Pop I prayed for a beautiful woman to show up at the door and then just like that one did That's My Boy and then what happened isn't it obvious I found God I bet you did we played Scrabble and talked and talked and gazed into each other's eyes and talked some more and then she left Petey if you pray to God for a pony and he sends you one you gotta write it you don't challenge it to a board game pops I've never felt this way about anyone this weekend I'm taking her to a church picnic and a scavenger hunt followed by a screening of Return of the King director's cut 13 hours of G-rated Bliss 13 hours at a thousand bucks an hour that's I have distressing news Jimmy yesterday I noticed a car parked outside your house I ran the plates and well it belongs to a known prostitute what a prostitute's not allowed to park her car she knocked on your door a prostitute can't knock on a door and she went inside with only Petey at home a prostitute can't solicit my son okay I'll give you that one soliciting sex is illegal Jimmy and that's against the rules okay McCool here's the thing yes I hired a girl for Petey but nothing happened why would I believe that Jimmy have you met my son I believe it but Canada we're the oldest profession is still logging [Music] Hey where's Petey praise the Virgin Mary he's been spending all his time at the church I don't know what kind of scam he's running but I swear to God I'm gonna muscle my way in you don't have to muscle your way into God's house Gina his heart is always open to you what like one of those people who don't use electricity I found a higher calling and it's called The Lord's work that's my son now let us say grace everyone join hands cookie switch seats with me I don't want to hold hands with a boy dear Lord God in heaven savior of all men except men who love men please pour your golden love Upon Us ew cleanse my family of all unrighteousness I know that's asking a lot seeing as my sister puts out for anyone with two hands my uncle's a degenerate and I'm pretty sure my mother used to pole dance for Loose Change what the hell Petey okay my turn God please forgive my son for breaking the fifth commandment and not honoring his mother and for being a massive douchebag amen Sticks and Stones mother which is what we should be hurling at Teresa for parading herself around like a modern day Jezebel who's Jezebel she sounds fat look kid you need to learn how this whole religion thing works I'm very curious to hear what you can teach me about piety we'll talk about pie eating later when it comes to being a Roman Catholic from New York these are the rules every day but Sunday you do whatever you want and don't disrespect your mother wow why'd you hit me haven't you read your Bible an eye for a tooth so stop telling God I'm a [ __ ] why'd you hit me what I thought it was a thing [Music] there's only one person who truly understands me and uh economy done let us pray [Music] foreign [Music] God be with you my sweet yeah whatever back at you hey how was the date magical we baptized three Jews today granted they were tied up but still anything yet he won't touch me I tried everything showing him my lower back tattoo of benediction eating a banana during morning mass and sexting him photos of my bing bing during the 10th Station of the Cross he thought it was a painting of Noah on the ark I'm so ashamed don't be or doobie honestly I don't give a [ __ ] oh man I forgot to get her to stamp my card Petey can I talk to you I'm busy pop I'm making Brenda diorama of the Rapture look that's us ascending to Heaven while the rest of the planet Burns in Hell Fire look son I gotta tell you something I did this thing for you maybe I shouldn't have but my dad did it for me I was just trying to help Jesus will see your good intentions even if no living human does well Brenda's not really who you think she is she's he's a college student I hired to you know show you a good time what do you mean higher that's ridiculous she loves me does she ever ask if you're a cop every day and I ask her if she's a cute little bunny are you dates in one hour increments so she's a fan of time management what does that prove do lots of men recognize her on the street she comes from a big family with a lot of uncles who like to spank her so what she's a prostitute what we haven't even kissed that's kind of their thing damn you why do you try to ruin everything for me why can't you just let me have a happy ending that's exactly what I was paying for this might not be the best time to tell him I used his college fund I don't care what he says Brenda's not a prostitute I refuse to believe it that doesn't prove anything I will let you pay me for sex oh [ __ ] Daddy can I have a sit down sure princess what's troubling you well pathetically speaking if you were shaken down someone and a cop got wise and started shaking you down what would you do ah Gina we went over this in kindergarten always pay off the cops first you give him what he wanted sure paying off a copying a crime well it is but you know what I mean it's a cost of doing business but give this little rat nose coupons what he wants he wants everything it'll cost me a fortune hypothetically speaking oh my little angel in a situation like that you got no choice but to hit him where it hurts his kneecaps I knew it ah kneecaps you're so adorable these little kneecaps stop Gina I gotta talk to Dad alone sure remember what I've told you Petey what's the good word well Pop I want to say that I forgive you I know that you were just trying to help me by hiring Brenda thanks and I'm sorry it didn't work out with you Little Hooker girlfriend says who I hate the sin but I'm still in love with the sinner I'm Gonna Save Brenda but keep it under an hour and you also said that Ahoy did he really mean Ahoy and uh excuse me what are you doing don't have to sell your body for sex I'll take care of you Brenda young man there's no Brenda here yes there is she's right there six no seven roses up four no five seats to the left of the prostitute you know Brenda raise your hand what the hell are you doing here I'm here to save you I know the truth and I don't care our relationship is stronger than the strongest man on Earth first of all my name is Stella second you don't know [ __ ] about [ __ ] our relationship was just business you think I like spending my free time in a church I'm a hooker for God's sake Stella what are you saying we spent all that time together are you trying to tell me it was for nothing no it was for a thousand bucks an hour standing here talking to you is for nothing [Music] excuse me but may I use the [ __ ] off you okay kiddo don't bother trying to cheer me up it'll never happen first science let me down now religion there are no answers life sucks you know I remember when I was 15. man I was awkward overweight pimples four fingers on each hand but life got better and it will for you how can you be so sure this is your time the age of the nerd and who's a bigger nerd than you no one that's who one day you'll invent some cool computer doohickey and before you know it you'll be knee-deep in Asian chicks really would I lie to you you just spent the past week lying to me nothing gets by my boy you know I have been working on a new memory enhancement chip I'm up to a 60 increase in recall with only a 20 chance of death count me in I'll be your first customer and you know who that'd be good for watch his face you know I mean the guy with the thing we met in the place this is kind of a happy ending huh pop no you know don't get the concept of a happy ending at all how you doing I'm Jimmy Falcone Alias McDougall back when I was a capo keeping the family business away from my actual family was a freaking tap dance like the time Petey got himself a girlfriend Peppa malazi face like a pizza but we're talking Petey here so he had to take what he could get problem was her old man was one of my business associates listen kid I got a feeling pepperoni face is going to break up with you impossible pepper said I was the only boy for her yeah the only boy willing to kiss a meat love is special but it ain't that it's her old man are you saying her father doesn't approve of me it's actually me he ain't big on we had a little disagreement then how do you know I'm getting dumped call it a hunch her dad was in the trunk wasn't he now that we live in Canada I don't worry about that stuff no more but at the time it was very stressful oh boohoo pepper was my first love and you took her away from me I still love you you know what forget about it let me tell you something about a friend of ours named Jimmy I made the wise guy and the couple with the gambini but when we found out that they'd be whacking Uncle teach they take the bus he threw him from the 19th Floor Suite who wasn't much alone till the marble wants him dead so Jimmy had no choice about to talk at the wall the beds the fans who say they heard that they could use him as a pawn so he read about his friends and moved through Saskatchewan forget about it forget about it oh forget about it foreign [Music] what a movie those were some very realistic decapitations trust me it had an uplifting message don't bang your girlfriend in the creepy graveyard all right give me your wallets a Canadian mugger that's adorable better do what he says yeah I don't think so kid run Jesus my son owns a rape whistle hey are you running away You're chicken crap I can't see nothing through this sock that's better this guy is like the Special Olympics of crime don't make me shoot you old man change of plans Pinhead hand over your wallet here take it and take my bus pass it's still good for six days oh velcro looks like we got us a real high roller what a snook fake gun sock on his head fist pants where's the professionalism it's punks like this who give crime a bad name you know Jimmy I've been a Mugger but I've never actually been muggered myself it's nice to know how the other half lives [Music] that looks fun quit snooping ma peeking over your shoulder to see what you're doing is not snooping Theresa Maria Falcone is that a picture of you drinking a beer no it's um an app it's an app to make it look like I'm drinking a beer and that's an app to make it look like I'm Frenching another girl while Frat Boys cheer us on Teresa why would you do something like that you know how it is after five beers you're on autopilot and flashing a policeman that's autopilot too no that was tequila he was about 5'5 dark clothes wool sock on his head possibly from a right foot something like this relax McCool we took care of the mugger you took care of him well then James danger McDougall in the name of the crown I have no choice but to place you under arrest for murder not today copper come on Jimmy oh I didn't mean that kind of take care of what's wrong with you I meant we stopped the mugger oh thank God hurt me suck head man it's funny cause he's traumatized great Goins ghost Petey you're clearly in shock from your encounter with a Criminal element which is odd considering you're descended from gangsters nonetheless in my estimation the best way to confront your fear is head on I invite you to come with me on a police Ride Along won't it be dangerous this is Saskatchewan it'll be safer than Picking Daisies get away from there it could explode at any second whoever was behind the wheel likely pried the plates off before they fled the scene good eye Petey I also found this under the seat phenter means the driver was a willfully negligent speed freak well to a rundown of the serial numbers and see if we can trace this hop head or you could just arrest that guy it's not my fault these long hauls are killing me I didn't mean to run over all those school children school children never mind cover your ears Petey I am about to do something most uncanadian wait we don't need to use unnecessary violence observe respect spectacular physics it's Nature's policeman come along little trooper [ __ ] Canada where no one turns a blind eye to police brutality now [Music] hey McCool you lost weight oh what's wrong with your face guess it's gonna be a junior cop what do you mean Junior cop I signed up with the provincial internship group of law enforcement trainees my only male Heir is gonna be a freaking piglet hey just like cousin Carlo good old cousin Carlo the crookedest cop and all the five boroughs officer stop that I just need a parent to sign his permission form no son of mine's joining the bacon Brigade McCool said you might feel this way McCool it's bad enough he's got me on this straight and narrow now he's brainwashing my boy you got all the mental you need right here what am I supposed to learn from you plenty robbery extortion pandering I'm like a college of wise guy knowledge oh for God's sake here you go sweetie thanks Mom you're letting him join the PAW Patrol what kind of parent are you he's just being a rebellious teenager at least he's not getting drunk like his wino sister hey shut up Robbie well I ain't living with Note 5-0 don't worry I'll make her look like an accident Gina no go rotting your brother when did you stop being fun [Music] I can't believe Petey's turning his back on our way of life he's given a pasta no he's rejecting my whole family heritage I rejected mine too when I guided my father like a goat yeah but Graham said it coming I guess the wisdom of our ancestors is gonna die with me don't worry Jimmy if you die I'll eat enough pasta for both of us go to the car oh no not you guys again I'll give you a head start Punk foreign I can't mug anyone I totally blew carjacking I'll never figure out how to be a criminal I'll never figure out how to beat the criminal guess who's gonna be a 2 a dude Criminal [Music] come with me if you want to learn are you a Terminator no kid I'm a learninator enough with the [ __ ] Rhymes Jimmy what do you think you are Mother Goose [Music] all right Benny this will be your room wow no one's ever been this nice to me thanks Mr Jimmy nice Jimmy you're really giving back to the community if Petey don't want my Pearls of Gangsta Lee wisdom then I'll pass them on to Benny over there Jimmy I don't often throw around words like hero so I won't I'm just a simple man trying to make the world a worse place one kid at a time [Music] [Music] foreign [Music] full of grace help me with my daughter's booze problem that's good booze problem try raising a teenager with the power to turn water into wine ah Mama mia bathtub was permanently stained Purple Jesus was a lush it got so bad we had to put him in AAA ancient Alcoholics Anonymous didn't work little punk refused to acknowledge a higher power No Way Ma I am the higher power got the ego on this kid so what did you do I took him down to the Dead Sea and said you turned that into wine and drink every drop he chugged it like a champ then he punched a centurion trashed the temple and ran off with a [ __ ] from Babylon but he never got drunk again wow the things they left out of the Bible no kidding like his brother Rusty what and I've said too much [Music] hey Petey I know paperwork is dull but it's a big part of law enforcement oh I love paperwork in fact I just saw some cold cases which ones all of them sweet Da Vinci's Inquest you solved 27 years of cold cases I can see how they baffle a less intelligent cop but it's all in a day's work for junior officer [Music] oh [Music] he's not with me [Music] Teresa we need to talk whoa that is not mine it is now you are going to sit here and drink this until you learn that terrible things alcohol does to a person works for me cheers that's it drink it up alkie after I'm through with you you'll never want to look at liquor again Chianti it's nice you want some well since it's already open did I ever tell you how Gina happened your father got home from stabbing Frederico the Fink and let me tell you he wasn't through poking stuff make it [Music] if you're gonna hide out in Mexico stay away from the senior readers before you know it you'll have eight kids in the job cutting lawns in El Paso foreign what the hell is this now it's my mule McCool lent up to me for being a junior super cop congratulations and ask for an ass good one Mr Jimmy ah who are you well since you're so busy being super cop I decided to Mentor this Wayward kid I gotta take a dump that Mr Jimmy's such a great guy you're lucky he's your dad listen Bernie is it you probably think you're special to my dad but he's using you just like he used chicha's Mexican stepkids to work his lawn care racket in El Paso Papa Cheech please don't go back to New York get back to work so Mr Jimmy's just using me why to get back at me and once he's done he'll drop you right back in the gutter tell him not to bother I can drop myself in the gutter should not be driving shut up I'm going to the store for wine and breath mints in case I get pulled over ma'am have you been drinking um step out of the vehicle ma'am I'm fine um fine ma'am you're under arrest for drunk driving what the hell are you doing you doing sir I have the situation under control I need you to step back I'm gonna step into your ass if you don't take off those bracelets it burns you were warned sir shame busting your own mother and father I was just following procedure you threatened an officer of the law do the crime do the time pop what are you doing something I should have done a long time ago son of a piggy this is madness following the letter of the law is one thing but pepper spraying your own father twice is conduct Unbecoming a piglet you are so done playing CSI Regina no I'm not Mom signed the permission form I can be a piglet as long as I want permission Revolt come on Jimmy mama wants a cheeseburger sorry PT I'll need your hat uniform and badge and your mule [Applause] [Music] what the hell is it just me or is the house roomier holy crap Betty freaking robbed us the kid learned good they even took the vent covers I am so proud of that thieving lion load down dirty bastard too bad I gotta kill him [Music] Betty stole my laptop Benny stole all my shoes then he stole my Dora DVDs for when I deal with a cocktails Benny didn't take none of my stuff my eight tracks and Thigh Master right where I left them too bad you got me kicked off the force so I totally catch him and get our stuff back don't even talk to me pepper spray Patty fine enjoy sitting on your invisible couch watching invisible TV what's she talking about I don't see no invisible couch ah what happened last night did I do this no but you did do this quit judging me Jesus Mary and Joseph what kind of role model am I I don't know Ma you tell me [Music] I can't believe Benny stole from me after I treated him like my own son you treat your own son like crap well there you go I treated him better than my own son we don't need PD to find this clown we'll do it our way where's Benny who where's Benny what's a Benny where's Benny Ash sorry sister fudge language you know Jimmy as nuns go she was actually pretty uh gentle [Music] hey Petey I decided to forgive you for pepper spraying me can't find Benny huh I'm out of leads on this one I can't help you I'm not a junior cop anymore from what I heard you were the best Junior catfish towns ever seen where'd you hear that down at the station when I was signing you back up for piglet really that's awesome wait a minute you're not using me to get back at Benny are you maybe a little well good cause I wanna bust that son of a [ __ ] but if we're gonna do this we do it my way buy the book you got it this is gonna be great just you and me it'll be like an 80s buddy cop movie he's a hot shot mini cop with a mega mind he's a retired wise guy who just wants his couch back teeth I ain't this kid's babysitter no you're his new partner [Music] too old for this [ __ ] you do it more by the book you do it less by the book [Music] Jimmy Falco Petey Falco in Jimmy's way Petey's law Jimmy's way Petey's law find Jimmy's way alright we agree on a title now let's quit wasting time and catch this guy [Music] oh God this goddamn headache time to rub it in huh well go on tell your mother what an ass she made of herself actually seeing you wasted with a real eye-opener I can see how drinking too much can turn someone into a total loser a total loser really you mean it Ma I swear no booze until I'm 19. 21. we're in Canada it's 19 here 18 if I go to Manitoba in Quebec it's like 12. you go have fun but if a frat boy gives you a drink make him take the first sip thanks Ma 12. man them French know how to live [Music] I can't believe you attract many down so fast how'd you do it forensics informants you hire a psychic no I found them selling our stuff on Craigslist way to go Columbo and my outfit's essential to the plan right because if not you're grounded you must be ingmar and brunhilda brune Hilda yeah you're grounded one of you is ingmar yeah yeah that's me my wife and I are looking to buy an entire house full of stuff I got a house full of stuff to sell the garden stuff is tacky crap so I'll give it to you cheap you agreed buy the book oh right sorry son Mr Jimmy [Music] that hurt I taught him that move pop he's getting away don't worry I got this [Applause] oh Petey you're brilliant it's just like that game 's trash what's it called house trap Kitty no do it by the book screw the book this time it's personal wasn't it always personal come on take the shot I can't do it good for you kid he's a dumbass Punk but he don't deserve to die you did the right thing he could walk away from that maybe not pop stay with me hop hop we're not that different sure I'll never be a crook but I'm still your son pop pop [Music] [Applause] [Music] knock it off Cheech it ain't funny anymore all right doc says I can go that was some interesting police work Jimmy it was all Petey and he would have brought Benny in if that plane hadn't somehow got to him first So McCool you're gonna give him his mule back yes about that unfortunately PT won't be reinstated as a piglet what he was so good he was making the other cops look bad and that's my job no one left at work either that's okay I think I've had enough of police work and let's face it cop Stoner and [ __ ] [Music] how you doing actually who cares shut up and let me talk to me crime is like any other business except with more killing and less resumes yet both use an equal amount of paper clips it don't matter if you're a banker or a good fella you still gotta climb the corporate ladder Jimmy give me a ride to the track I'm feeling lucky and can I borrow your pants unless you're a Cheech he always had a different career philosophy I'm telling you Jimmy the key to success is aiming for the middle you mean like a gut shot I mean your career if you're on the bottom you're always going to get stepped on ain't that right Mario that you have to wear cleats I can't find my regular face step and shoes anyhow if you aim for the top you got a long way to fall like that time I tried doing it on a ferris wheel that was a fall from grace remember Grace Jimmy with the cans later I saw what Cheech meant how'd it go see gambillied still be alive if he just aimed a little lower in Life or if Jimmy aimed for the wall instead of the window you do understand Mr middleman that you're the reason I had to kill him understanding is for overachievers well you aimed us to the middle and now where you stay if you think I'd kill gambini all over again to save cheech's half-fast ass forget about it let me tell you something about a friend a person named Jimmy I made the wise guy and the couple with a gun beanie but when we found out that they'd be whacking Uncle teach they take the bus he threw him from the 19th Floor sweep it wasn't much alone till the marble once in dead so Jimmy had no choice about the park at the wall of the beds the fans will say they had that they could use him as a pawn so he rented out his friends and moved through Saskatchewan forget about it forget about it oh forget about it only four weeks left the summer break you can do this cookie you can totally do this Yo Ma Grimes so what get up off your butts and go buy some more but we want to find out if this broad Says Yes to the Dress y'all got anything more see-through what a day I'm running out of ways to look busy at work nice example Jimmy no wonder the kids lays around all day take it easy lazing around is what summer break is for now how about some pork rinds for Daddy we ate them all you kids bum around all day on my sofa watching my TV eating my pork rinds and you can't even bother to tell your mother to go and buy more that's it you're all getting summer jobs hey where'd they go you get your resume together I can't get a job I've been fired from everyone I've ever had welcome to the meat pit before you order here's a video of where your hamburger came from [Music] to care for fries with your Massacre the only place I'm fit to work is in a science lab or perhaps some sort of theoretical think tank so if you'll excuse me not so fast you're coming with me Steve no jobs congratulations Petey you had the best and only application in our summer hiring spree Agnes bring Nemo around you're going to be pointing out all the exciting Regina landmarks as our summer tour bus Barker go put all them acting classes to work kid Teresa took the acting classes don't you know me at all whoopee summer's officially begun you're a tour buff McCool huh there's nothing like being regaled with Regina's tantalizing history in an open top bus whilst the wind tickles your scalp welcome to Showbiz Petey no stop so here's a travel mug to pee in and if you look to your left you'll see one of Regina's most um prestigious grain elevators imagine the grain that's been elevated here and this one is red sexy and now we will end with a dip in Regina's historical Municipal outdoor pool that's the whole tour two grain elevators in a swimming pool look everyone there's a jellyfish in the pool no that's a tampon so how was the job hunt oh it was uh brutal yeah yeah we had to fill out applications in like triplication do I smell fake butter topping ah those popcorn crumbs aha movie tickets you weren't out looking for jobs you were out seeing Paranormal Activity 10 same [ __ ] different house it was a scary documentary that wasn't real Theresa you're such a sucker oh there's tons of suckers out there who want to connect with the spirit world here we go back in my Madam scam your days I fleeced marks Every Witch Way from Sunday have an idea how we can make money off of that paranormal crap ew are you watching Ghost poo how are you not in summer school right now I slipped my homework in with PDS he does it without even noticing does anyone know how many pounds of grain one of these elevators can hold anyone I can keep it down thank you sir he was talking to you oh I could say just about anything and it wouldn't matter this park on your right is where a real Bigfoot was seen drunk snacking on a number of small dogs and uh this wheat field is known as area 55 because a UFO crashed here back in the 50s the aliens were buried and the next year the crop was blue next up we're heading to Regina's most deadly deciduous otherwise known as the murder tree oh can we have a picnic there sure but it might make a picnic of you sorry folks this tour is full but there will be another one tomorrow wowzers peties really turned the tour around people actually care what my know-it-all kid has to say we can finally crack open the I Heart Regina shirts and wear them without people laughing at us it's like being attacked by a thousand velvet brushes [Music] At Your Service oh thank God it started yesterday just after your pamphlet conveniently appeared in our mailbox please help us silence Spirits announce yourselves [Music] ah the spirit is really pissed about something you did in your past oh God is this about the elderly man I ran over in college and blamed on my boyfriend who then committed suicide in prison uh yes and it'll be 300 bucks to bust this ghost sorry sorry I meant 600 great news everyone this has all been a terrible dream Regina tourism numbers are through the roof thanks to the initiative of one particular employee Premiere O'Shea has commissioned Yours Truly to announce a promotion for the aforementioned go-getter I owe it all to the executive success self-awareness rodeo at Lake waskosu introducing the new staff supervisor of Regina tourism PT McDougall huh Petey I knew I should have signed up for the self-esteem booster Derby stupid Toby stupid stupid stupid stupid now that you're running the office PD you may want some help running the tours someone with a deep passion for Regina history and 96 vacation days saved up hint no no I'm still running the tours I wouldn't want you exposing my lies I mean wasting your time you might be my boss [ __ ] you're not the boss of me oh look it's time for me to avoid confrontation Agnes you ready for another bus tour look at you rising to the top of Regina tourism for once my pride in you outweighs my shame thanks but the other employees seem a bit disgruntled [Music] could you smooth things over for me sure thing and you know what's great about you being my boss I don't have to call in sick no more I can just shout from the couch you're funny thanks Bob who's joking your tops I know my family taking over the business comes as a shock very perceptive percepticon give the kid a chance will ya Yule once the guy on top it's not his fault you blew it well now that I'm not the boss anymore I guess I can finally let my hair down snaps it's it's Peach kabidi whatever look at all this money I can finally buy myself a unicorn those things are extremely rare you ain't buying nothing we gotta get come on in the dark about this so she'll try and horn in so keep your Yap shut I won't say nothing as long as you cut me in the only thing I'll be cutting is your tongue out oh Cookie all right fine but you better pull your weight I'm already carrying one useless [ __ ] on this Caper yeah oh Cookie I said all right what are you doing nothing it's time for my bed [Music] [Applause] who's my boss I ever had is this what you meant by getting Toby on my side you're drunk you're drunk it smells like peaches beans and insubordination in here knock knock who's there how I'm writing you both up for drinking on the job that's an article 48 and breaking wind in front of a superior that is the 22. we're just toast and celebrate your promotion tell it to the naughty Corner McDougall I ain't sitting in no naughty corner and since when do we have a naughty quarter shut it things better change around here or the staff will I Agnes a just article 26 in your purse [Music] I'm sorry Pop but I had to make an example of someone you humiliated me in front of everybody go to your room you're grounded you can't ground me I'm your boss at work you are the boss at home I'm the boss oh yeah well just you wait till we get to work tomorrow yeah you just wait till we get home from work tomorrow which will be around midnight because you'll be working late [Music] foreign [Music] for myself you can make scarier noises than that you sound like pop putting on his shoes I'm stuck get me out of here go on bring back our little Butterball easy you gotta put my arm off this is ruining my hair foreign what the hell are you doing in here I got scared out there alone I hit his houses haunted just back out so we can start the scam I'm stuck I'm calling the psychic happy birthday former subordinate Jesus that thing's more Fireball than cake how old are you what's this an office birthday party why wasn't I invited I like cake I like singing you know what Regina tourism includes everyone in birthday celebrations everyone I [ __ ] [ __ ] a guy I gotta live with him that must be about as fun as a chapped ass on a long bike ride let me tell you something about boss man he once created an app named Roxy to call his phone every day so people would think he had a girlfriend ooh Mr Big shot's too good for blow up dolls and get this he still sleeps with plastic sheets I stopped wetting the bed in my 20s oh it gets better whenever he watches scary movies he has to sleep in our bed [Laughter] all right McDougall I've had it with your attitude you're fine oh hey Roxy and now's not a good time can I call you back babe [Music] cook we're out of pork rinds so go to the store the store some but I want to see if she says Yes to the Dress the dad's a cheapo and I think he's about to have a stroke huh there he goes what a day someone pooped in my desk guess I owe Toby five bucks can you turn on the news please and get your feet off the couch but my big fat Alaskan Gypsy Lumberjack wedding is on next when you work all day you can watch whatever moronic show you want that's not fair Petey for Christ's sake just hi why would I hire a guy who thinks the photocopier is an ass camera yeah well I wouldn't go back even if you paid me and by the way I'm still getting paid of course you are it's a Canadian government job how do you drink this stuff [Music] where's man was held Kanya I left her a message hours ago I'm calling again I told you we shouldn't have left our phones in the car the last thing we need is you texting some Meathead boy toy while we're working don't be stupid Big Mike can't read ah I'm starving help get us out of here shut why should he aside from losing a little weight there's no plus side to being trapped in here old houses have so much character if these walls could talk while they're talking now Dan happy you hear that you had your freaking freaking time I was saving the battery for selfies quick the battery's dying Who you calling I'm calling ma to come and get us cook before you do anything bring us a jumbo cheese and anchovy [Music] Toby Agnes I need us to pull together as a team okay there is no I in team but you can spell me with part of it and ta with the other part great news PT Premiere O'Shea once the tours bumped up to 12 a day what I suppose this means a few Regina after dark tours sounds positively tantalizing for Canada we're lusting over a moonlit grain elevator is about to become a thing is he kidding you guys are really gonna have to pull up your socks wait where are you going to the liquor store to pull up her socks you dick [Music] geez kid you look terrible don't start I'm not in the mood look I'm not saying this is a disgruntled former employee that you totally screwed over I'm saying this is your pop you gotta quit I can't I just can't sure you can you walk into your own office you drop a deuce on the desk and you strut out like a man what's so hot about it because I lied I made a fake Regina history so the tour would be more exciting you bull crap the whole thing I'm impressed if my lies are exposed I'll be a laughing stock I'm just gonna have to run the tour for the rest of my life you're being a little dramatic I'm glad to see them acting lessons paid off that was Teresa goodbye ivy league PhD scholarship hello basement apartment and TV dinners in my dirty underwear that reminds me where's Cheech look I'm proud of you son you Rose to the top on lies and you'll do anything to protect the scare him just like a true Falcon but oh poor kid seriously though where the hell's Cheech where the hell's everybody ah yes the spirits are present and they are poor things don't know they crossed over probably die because they cut the wrong person out of a job can you get rid of them yes but you must leave this place so I have a Clear Channel with the little shits I mean spirits you know I should leave you three up there to rot for not cutting me in on this it was damn cook I begged I pleaded but they wouldn't have you nice impression of Pop you rats I've been running Spirit scams longer than all here fine sorry now get us out of here and we'll give you 30 70 50. have a nice afterlife wait wait so eighty percent we got a deal Dale cheeks get ready to cross over to the other side she's in the face rumor has it oh that's where the wheat Pirates buried their treasure before sailing back to Alberta what is it pop too bad the bus didn't start huh son you're welcome what are you talking about I got the starter cable so you wouldn't have to do the tour no bus no tour bingo bango you're off the hook I'm driving the bus right now with a bunch of tourists outside in fact I just drove through a red light pop you cut the brake line well it cut something and would appreciate a thank you I can't stop I can't stop that's a boy that shot Titanic Gordon lightfo gotta hopping on that bench that Silence full of candy there's a bunch of zombies in that house ooh zombies it's okay pop this is an amphibious bus I don't know what that means it's a bus and the boat yeah right foreign [Applause] you all right kid better than the boss zombies so hungry best tour ever [Music] I suppose the lesson here is that one should never lie to get ahead in a work situation nah the lesson is you should always have a full guy to blame in case you get caught no it's that you should never cut your mother out of a good scam would you like up we can't hear the TV pick a [ __ ] dress already they're all the same this dress is so tight can you let me take it ah what the hell are we watching say yes oh God yes Yes to the Dress I promised myself I wouldn't cry but it's so beautiful [Music] [Music] [Music]

Channel: Fugget About It - 9 Story

Views: 166,060

Keywords: fugget about it, mob cartoon, forget about it, Uncle Cheech, falcone, falcone mob, family guy, the simpsons, american dad, bobs burgers, south park, peter griffin, stewie griffin, homer simpson, bart simpson, roger the alien, stan smith, bob bulger, gene bulger, cartman, kenny, adult cartoon, funny cartoon, canadian animation, crime family, toronto, ottawa, saskatchewan, free tv, full episodes, animation domination, cartoon network, fox cartoon, canada

Id: FbYJtpWeBY0

Length: 66min 31sec (3991 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 08 2022