No contact rules (when you want your ex back)

hi there it's susan winter for susanwinter.net welcome back to my channel those of you who are part of my youtube family and subscribers if you're new i do sincerely hope that you enjoy the information that i'm about to share with you so i have a thing where people write me for the viewer request for videos and this is about no contact no contact with an ex now a lot of people write me and ask me what's my ruling you might notice you've never heard me give you a hard and fast rule over no contact there's only one rule i have with no contact for sure if you have been physically abused emotionally abused there is no contact that just no contact no reason for a contact done over get away that's it for the rest of you if you were cookie cutter people i could give you a cookie cutter answers but you're not you wouldn't be listening to this channel if you were i don't give cookie cutter information so i look at my audience particularly as being highly evolved very psychologically and spiritually aware so when all of you ask me a question i need to take all of that into account here's something i got from alex asking about no contact so here's how i would play this one out okay alex writes do you advocate the no contact rule for getting an ex back should the dumpy ever contact the dumper they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but i'm afraid it'll have the opposite effect i was dumped three weeks ago i love her and still see a future with her i've been no contact since if she doesn't contact me within a few months i may cave and ask her to meet up mistake okay so in this case alex i'd really rather work with you one or one because there are a couple questions in here i might play it differently than you'd expect but from reading this here's what i'd say um the dumpy to contact the dumper weak move always will be unless you did something wrong you're going back to somebody that dumped you why and what was the reason did you have a chance to argue your side of it if you weren't given closure why would you want to be with this person now i i'm gonna break this down every step of the way because i get this every day you guys i get people calling me every single day asking me every single little bits and pieces let me get let me separate myth from fact okay should the dumpy ever contact the dumper no and why bite the bullet move on if they want to contact you believe me they know how to get a hold of you they got a hold of you the first time then they dumped you would you going back for more abuse generally speaking absolutely not if they're extenuating circumstances that i can't see we really have to talk about it okay number two they say that distance makes the heart grow fonder but i'm afraid it'll have the opposite effect distance makes the heart grow fonder when you're already in a relationship that's working and you happen to go out of town that something has happened distance doesn't make the heart grow fonder what they've dumped you when they've dumped you they're done i'm so sorry i don't mean to be so blunt but sometimes you all just have to see it for how it is i don't feel like i'm telling you there's no santa claus and i'm so sorry to do it but sometimes you can't grow and go to the next phase until you are done with this space and i can't tell you how many people i am working with continually day after day after day and they keep looking for another door they don't like the answer that it's over and that's the answer and i keep saying they're done with you she's done with you he is you didn't have a relationship with him he had a little sex with you he's gone you're chasing a phantom why are you doing it but hope can make us crazy i love hope but hope is mis misapplied in this situation so it does not make the heart grow fonder when they're done with you because their heart is not fond so forgive me i'm so sorry but i got to tell you the way it is okay you were dumped three weeks ago i love her that i doubt i don't think you had enough time i think you're caught up in the honeymoon phase okay um you had no contact since good for you tremendous self-discipline alexander and i know it's hard but we want the inside to be the same as the outside there is no effect that you can create on the outside but not not contacting them if on the inside you're going it doesn't work your outer action must be consistent with your inner energy and that's a whole nother discussion i'll get into that later but just trust me if you're inside going like this checking your phone every day you're no contact yes it's the right move we got to get you inside to not have contact okay inside and the last question if she doesn't contact me within a few months i may cave in and ask her to meet up mistake yes yes here is what has to happen how they knew you has to die totally and completely they didn't want what they saw you need to close that down you shut that down and i know every part of you is fighting going oh no no but that's the last remnant thread that i have of a connection that's not the connection you want to have clear clear your energy field move forward as an inner directive as an inner desire they have a greater chance of showing up in your future they're not coming back to your past think about that clearly that is the strongest directive and motivation i can give you thank you so much thank you alex i didn't mean to beat you i'm trying to help you thank you everyone believe me i identify with this we can all get stuck in a loop sometimes years at a time but if we understand how to work our way out of it if we can mentally shift our perspective it is so much easier to move forward and then the same person that dumped you may just be standing in the middle of the road of your future but you will be a different person and that's that's the real point of all this thank you everyone susan winter for susan winter.net you want a consultation check out my consultation page by the minute by the hour by the day and you can catch me at the susan winter show on itunes or iheartradio thanks a lot

Channel: Susan Winter

Views: 105,795

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Id: FHdNqlt89A4

Length: 7min 3sec (423 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 08 2020