No child is born bad | Xavier McElrath-Bey | TEDxNorthwesternU 2014

I am a I am a firm believer that no child is born bad and I would even go as far as to say that all children including those who made horrible mistakes deser another chance for positive change when I was 13 years old I was arrested charged and a convicted to serve a 25e sentence in prison for my involvement in a gang related first degree murder although I was a child and although I was not the actual killer because I had an extensive juvenile arrest record and I was just is responsible it made it easy for the judge to transfer my case over to the adult Criminal Court a courtroom in which unfortunately I was forced to face consequences that were basically designed for the worst of the worst of De offenders however unlike many had expected after 13 years in prison I came out of age 27 with a bachelor's degree a remorseful heart and a mission to advocate for atris youth today I'm 38 years old and for the rest of my life my life will forever be dedicated to the victim and his family As I push forward as a youth Advocate and trying to help deter children from making the same mistakes that I once made soon after I was released from prison at the I would say I think um I had to be I think I was at the time um it was fall the following spring I got involved with Rosevelt University I got back and I received a masters of arts in in counseling Human Services soon after that I got involved in working with social service agencies and working with at risk youth and for the P for the past 12 years I've worked in position that were designed to help basically keep children out of the Criminal Justice System soout the course of that work I came to find that not only were these children's lives much like my own but that in fact many of them unfortunately were victims as well victims unfortunately of situations that made it hard for him to succeed in the first place a little bit more about myself I was I was raised in the backyard's neighborhood in the poverished community in the south side of Chicago a neighbor that was once made famous by up Sinclair's book uh the John which vividly depicted the Haring poverty diseases and working conditions of migrants and stockyards in in the turn of the 20th century but unfortunately today my neighborhood today is still containing with poverty but in the media is mostly known for violence crimes and drugs personally my my earliest childhood memory begins not long after this photo was taken I was six years old at the time I was I was probably my sisters and I we we were I guess you could say in some ways living a typical life but at the same time there are things going on inside our home that even some my memory cannot fully grasp according to according to my mother she said that my that my father was my my stepfather was just as abusive of my as my father and my my beginning of my mar begin when I was sitting in the back seat of a police car along with my sister my two sisters and my brother and I remember looking out the back window as we witnessed my mother crying in tears it was a police car and when we looked out the back window we saw the image of my mother getting smaller and smaller but she tried to fight stopped them from taking us away it turns out that when they found out about the abuse the arrested my stepfather they deemed our home UNS safe and they Place us all into foster care I would never forget how our foster mother who didn't believe in allowing us to have toys unfortunately confined us mostly to our rooms rooms with no television and no radio I will never forget how early on in my experience of childhood being denied that the exper the natural normal you know procession of learning we were subjected to to work in her home unfortunately hour after hour feeding scary dogs teing to her garden to this very day I would never eat an eggplant I know it sounds funny but it's it is so this is the images and memories that I have are so strong of this experience and the reason why is because this was a part of my life that should have been safe a part of every child's life that should have been safe and what happened for us coming from out of that situation and coming back home which we thought would be a very safe and nurturing hopefully after having dealt with the case managing with my family or my mother came to realize that my stepfather was even more even more abusive when we when we arrived home we were so exhilarated and happy to be home but within time we realized that my stepfather had a drinking problem and he would come home after late night hours of drinking mostly on Friday nights and he would never hesitate to walk in hit my mother beat us and kick our dog I would never forget how we struggle with poverty growing up in in in in in an environment that was so desperate that at times we didn't have light we didn't have gas I remember times when we had to live we had to move from one location to the next because unfortunately my mother cannot afford to pay the bills and we're always faced with evictions I'll never forget how my brother when I walked into the washroom he was sitting he was laying in the tub and the water was up to his chest and he he was fully clothed and he was watching bubbles come up and he said the spirits were attacking his legs I will never forget how years later I will come to this discovered that even my mother contended with schizophrenia and depression just recently I started a new position um with the campaign for fair sensing of Youth as a youth Justice Advocate but for the past five and a half years I I had the ability to work with a one of aind ludal study which is a Northwestern juvenile project here at Northwestern and throughout the throughout the course of that work I came to find that many of these individuals had similar upbringings to mind and according to the Norwest ju project some of the findings which which were really a mirror of my life went on to say that 93% of the kids who had entered into Juvenile Detention had experienced one or more traumas prior to Baseline four out of five had endorsed or had conveyed ever having been physically abused 66% of the males and 74% of the females had met diagnostic criteria for one or more psychiatric disorders including the associated imp impairments one out of 10 had ever attempted to commit suicide but these are the realities that we that when the child stands in front of the courtroom that unfortun are very very Sly spoken of and one thing I also came to realize being someone who was once in the system that disproportionately those who are getting arrested are young African-American Latino males and I believe that is the case mostly because these are the kids that come from environments that are that that unfortunately have been virtually abandoned poor and dis investig communities the kids that I met had came from Inglewood back in the yards the Henry Hornets when they were still existing the majority of us had came from environments that truly lacked quality education educational uh opportunities that would lead into employment unfortunately were non-existent positive Youth Development programs that will help guide a child in the right direction were virtually non-existent Financial struggle of families and despair was a was a was dominant theme of my life and the lives of my friends and so for us growing up in that type of environment and perhaps them as well containing with life situations at home that were not is just not as safe as they should have been unfortunately for me my it was only natural for me to become part of a gang coming out of that environment and realizing that my that I felt safer on the streets than I did within my own home it became a natural possession of events I don't even remember the day I joined the gang to be honest with you and what I mean by that is it was something that sort of evolved over over time and it was basic was solely based upon the most basic and fundamental human needs that we all share the need for love the need for safety the need for a sense of belonging and respect and so and for me what what made gang so enticing for me is that gangs were way more advanced than any social institution within my reach in terms of satisfying the most the most basic and fundamental human needs that I had as a child and what what happened of course within time I came to realize as a as a child being as oblivious as I was to the Future consequences I eventually found myself in situations that I had to question what am I doing even at times I question what was I doing I remember one of the guys he had walked up to me and he had a gun and he said here man take this gun we need you to get on security and I remember grabbing the gun and I didn't even know what to do with the gun I never held a real gun I had a c gun before I never a real gun but I did what I saw on television I did what what I what I had always see on the screen so I put it in my waistband and I remember walk walking across the street standing where he told me to stand and on the surface of me I was being tough like I was going above and beyond to proved I was worthy of my gang but the down I was scared inside so I kept thinking what if I shoot my you know it's it's going to hurt you know so but that must have been some type of premonition because soon after that happened within days me a friend my one of my my best friends and I as well as two other kids were hanging out on the back of an alley and we had access to one of the guns that was provided by the gang and I remember him grabbing it we were playing with it it was within a moment I heard boom and suddenly within that within that moment everything went in it warped in and back out of slow motion and darkness and I realized that I had been shot in my face beneath my left eye and when a Bulet entered my face it shattered the bone it sent fragments in every direction it traveled through my sinus and loded behind my left ear I had blood rushing out of my mouth out of my nose down the back of my throat and I remember thinking of myself swallowed the blood I thought that if I swallowed the blood it would stop me from bleeding to death and I look back upon my life and I questioned myself why why did I put myself in those situations and I remember being in the back of the ambulance looking up and they had the light bright light on my face very much like this light and they they're saying they were saying put this you know they're like follow my finger you know where did the the bullet come out where did it go in you know asking my name my my my year was and I remember the police walking over and standing above me and saying who shot you you and then within that moment I had to decide do I tell all my friend who just shot me in my face by accident it was an accident and all my life I had been raised not to tell of my friends and even there while I was laying on my what could have been my deathbed I couldn't bring myself to do that and I said it was a man in a black car I was probably think about the Night Rider or something I don't know what I was thinking but I said it was a man in a black car so they went with the whole neighborhood they were chasing every car pulling him over every black car they're questioning him where were you at what were you doing at this time of the hour and then they they realize wait a minute perhaps perhaps they put two and two together cuz the Night rer Never carried a gun you know so they probably say wait something this story is not matching up so they asked one of my friends that was there and he told the truth he didn't have the script he didn't know what I told him so he told the truth and so they came to the hospital they looked at me and they said we'll talk to you soon I knew for a fact that something was going to happen I know quite what it was but I knew I was probably going to be in some trouble so about a week and a half later while I'm walking through my neighborhood and I still have locked jaw I'm still contending with a severely bruised face a bloodshot right bloodshot eye still temporarily bringing back my my hearing and they pulled up and said to Xavier come here let me talk to you when they pulled up they said hop in the back seat of the car Xavier so I hopped in the backseat of the car and all I remember him saying is you're going to get locked up I was like for what he said for obstruction of justice and I didn't even know what that meant apparently I had broken law of instruction of justice and so reflecting back upon that experience now as an adult I think about victims I think about those who have been harmed you know today we put guns inside of a lock box and we place them on shelves we protect children because we know what can happen to a child if they get a hold of a gun but because me as an 11-year-old kid with prior offenses because I was no longer viewed as a child or a regular child because I was viewed as a bad child I didn't get no trauma therapy I I didn't get no follow-up Services I didn't get a home visit I got a week and a half to T State in the Audi home and that was the first time I ever been locked up I was probably the first person in the history of audio be locked up for his own shooting you know but I was in there and I did and I did that week and a half and by the time I stood in front of a judge I had to I had to get my friend out of his attempted murder charges I had to tell tell him what happened but surprisingly enough the only reaction the only followup service I have even beyond that was a probation period and I kept getting in trouble over and over over again and I asked myself why why why wasn't a gun why wasn't a bullet to my face where I almost died why was that not enough to wake me up if there was ever anything in life that can perhaps wake someone up it would be coming close to death but that was not enough to wake me up and now looking back you know it's funny I look at myself today as as an adult as a responsible caring adult I'm afraid to get a parking ticket you know I mean I don't want to get in trouble but in reality you know at by the time I was 13 years old I had 19 arrests and seven convictions everything from arm robbery to assault and battery weapons possessions all these things that I did as a child I look back now as an adult and I can't even imagine a child doing these things but at the same time now that I'm learning learning more about myself now that I'm out advocating and now I'm speaking on behalf of children who are who are involved in criminal justic systm now now and and now most more so than ever learning about developmental neuroscience and what they're saying about the development of a child and how their brain are are not the same as adults I'm learning more now about myself than ever according to recent recent fins developmental Neuroscience the prefontal cortex which involves rational thinking and waiting of consequences and impulse control is not fully physically formed within a child as it is within an adult that in fact because that lack of growth in that area is that whenever children make decisions based upon risk they tend to rely more upon the sort of evolutionary primitive parts of your brain which are the amigdala which is the the Amiga which unfortunately tends to always State reward over consequence which unfortunately is more given to the emotional context of the situation which is why children are so susceptible to peer pressure these are things that we know that parents know already but unfortunately the the the the Divide between developmental Neal science and legal policy unfortunately is so wide that we're trying to bring it to a point where we can be empirical in our way in which we choose to address the needs of our children soon after I I I I I got locked up for the first degree murder I would say my life very early on especially going in was typical of that what I experienced when I was out in free Society I was still getting in trouble but it wasn't until I was 18 years old when I was in Pontiac Correctional Center and it's in segregation that I began to mature and wake up and realize that this was not the life that I wanted to live and I think it was because I had matured and I think it because I had thought about what I had done it's because I thought about the victim and I thought about the life that I had lived I thought about my mom who was still struggling with a mental disability I thought about my brother who's still going through hard times I thought about my sister who was getting involved in gangs and I knew in my heart that this has a lot to do with the environment when she kids were are being raised there's no such thing as a bad child and I feel blessed to be here today but I also want to say that no child should ever have to go through what I went through to ever have been arrived here to ever have to even even have to even go through even the smallest amount of trauma that I had to go through in order to realize that I wanted to live a better life and I say that because in reality as adults we have the ability to help we have the ability to help men the environment which these kids are living we have the ability to make a difference in our lives today there are over 250,000 youth being charged every year as adults as if they were adults kids who haven't even so much has completed high school or grade school kids who have never even so much if had a pair of keys or even owned the car or even learned how to drive are being scarred with with with collateral collateral consequences that come from having an adult conviction that will follow you for the rest of your life and fully impact the full spectrum of your future opportunities in terms of Education in terms of government benefits in terms of future employment opportunities these are things that we are doing with our children now that we are perpetuating a cycle of rism and incarceration that unfortunately has been impacting so many people from Back of the Yards from my neighborhood and other communities that are mostly impoverished and disinvested around our country and I say that we have the ability to make a difference today there are over 2,000 individuals who are serving life without the possibility of parole individuals who have been in there since they were children and little little is often little do people often talk even even think about is the fact that the majority of these kids who went in who are serving his life since without the B to be a pro have been convicted for the very first offense as many of these kids who are serving life without the possibility of pro unfortunately 40% have been accompanied by older C- defendants that played a more dominant role in the offense many of these kids unfortunately who are doing life without the possibility of parole that that although that the US Supreme Court in Miller versus Alabama had decided that it was unconstitutional that today still states are refused to allow that law to be held as retroactive to people who have been in prison for decades since they were children this is in my heart and Injustice but I but my my my hope is that we continue to harvest the fruits from developmental neuroscience and legal policy that we continue to invest in the lives of of the children I'm going to leave you one last thought I was talking to a good friend his name is Fernando Moreno and he said he said Xavier he said you know we're looking for funny for our program he said would you believe man that it cost us $85,000 to house one child in a juvenile justice system he said don't you know if they gave me that same amount of money I can literally employ three kids three at risk kids on the streets fulltime for $10 an hour with the help of Community Partners and local businesses he said Xavier according to the Illinois State Bar Association the the Illinois state is going to spend as much as a hundred million to incarcerate children in our state he said if I only had 25% of that 25 million we can with with the help of local local partners and business around our city we can literally employ 1200 kids fulltime there's so much more we can do with our resources in terms of being able to help our children our children are not super Predators our children are not kids to be thrown away our children are our future and when I think about children in general I think about my daughter I think about Sophia I want her to have a better life and I want to know that if she ever makes a mistake that society would be forgiving thank [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 50,167

Keywords: childhood, tedx talks, Northwestern Juvenile Project, Chicago, School, ted talks, abuse, inspiration, ted x, Family, Northwestern University (Organization), ted, Xavier McElrath-Bey, tedx, Prison (Sentence), Parents, TEDx, juvenile prison, tedx talk, youth justice, incarceration, ted talk

Id: 51AqpgPCyGI

Length: 19min 26sec (1166 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 18 2014