Newlywed Game (Funny Moments edition) 44

foreign [Music] [Music] [Applause] all right thank you you know back in the mid 60s I was a desktop game radio station krla in Los Angeles and any morning you could turn on the radio and you could hear me there and I was doing my disc jockey thing I'd do things like you know 70 minutes after mine from K overlay on Eubanks anyway so one day I just call from call from a television producer named Chuck Barris he said yeah he's the same guy did the gong show he said I want to see you I want to talk to you so I went and I met Chuck and I did my regular disc jockey hi there I bought Eubank 17 minutes after 964 degrees unless I hear the Beatles anyway he said no no no Bob he said I don't want you to do any of that this ducky stuff he says I want you to be a game show host because I want you to be the wizard of Whoopi I want you to be the Mogul of marriage of Romance before I knew it I was in Sarasota Florida working for Ringling Brothers but I know that I wanted to be a game show host that I wanted to host The Newlywed Game well I got to tell you I was so frightened and so scared this is a true story after the first show Chuck Barris came to me and he said Bob you just went a half hour without blinking so I had to write myself a note I put it on the podium and I said we'll be back with more of the Newlywed Game right after this message anyway since then throughout all these years I've learned to Blink I've learned to talk a little more slowly and I can certainly say here's our first classic moment from The Newlywed Game ladies question number one do you prefer the sound of your new last name or your old last name my first name my maiden name you prefer the sound of your of your old last name yeah that's pretty you prefer that to ostrowski everybody [Music] there's a hug in our kitchen it's a good name so that that's what ostrowsky means there's a hog in your kitchen it actually it means shark but they're not really positive about it she said you are the clumsiest Son of God in the world in the bedroom hahaha I mean she says you are clumsy in the bedroom it's no wonder she goes to sleep see if you sleep before you can get in the bedroom oh she told you about the dog in my pocket or he is pubg in the bedroom anyways uh where do you work Daryl I'm a maroon oh well the only thing I can think of is a a while back I had a rubber spider and I put it in the shower you put a rubber spider in the shower she hates spiders what happened she came running back down this is before we were married [Applause] you guys are just amazing that's all I can say the reason I say you guys is because in our studio audience and we have a lot of newlyweds that have returned to join us on our 25th anniversary here we welcome all of them here by the way where's Jim Lowe Jim where are you that Jim right there Jim I remember when you were on the you wore a brown and and white check jacket it looked like I put it on my horses that's what it looked like I mean did the whole band get those suckers or just the leaders no no more jokes about his jacket you won't need any more jokes when you see it the jacket and a little conversation we had about who paid for what during their wedding what's this monster that came from my dad but we spent half of that his half in my half and then he spent about another about five 500. all right he said that he contributed three hundred dollars to your way there's no way I'm gonna spend 500 for Booze again [Music] just 250 that's fine leave your father out of it to us and then we spend it for the wedding don't you remember I spent three minutes well we were pretty sharp dressers there's no doubt about it not anymore no I noticed that speaking of shark here's Anthony shark with his wife Glenda joy as they prepared on the Newlywed Game back in 1977. what is your wife's one erogenous Zone that you have never discovered Anthony oh okay oh well I would have to say uh her back her back yeah because you know um I mean I'm always you know underneath her but my eyes can't go around and see you know her back yeah right I thought temperature she said it would be uh her Tantrums no [Music] why what do you think the boring what is boring what do you think the problem is what do you mean the shark tradition you can see it there's nothing but lovers Duds Duds you your family that's a lot that's a lie that's a lie now you're going to lie I apologize thank you back everybody oh about seven years the writers seem to be running out of ideas so I said one day and so why don't you guys just ask for a definition of a word and I knew that we had really hit a vein when I asked what's your husband's favorite rodent and the girl said is saxophone and then I said well what's your favorite husband's favorite a condiment and she said it's karate school it's really happened but then I'm not even going to begin to tell you what happened when I said when's the last time your husband masticated here's some more play on words how many digits have you got uh three really three digits your wife said that you only have one digit one I didn't know yeah what do you think it's digit is [Music] I was thinking something nasty thank you they don't know where that Achilles heel is trying to say it much less know what it is say it slowly it's the last thing he commemorated Shannon commemorated yeah the last thing he commemorated be specific please listen we don't want to have any kids so about once a month we come out of her age stuff I mean they're upon tipping machinations sometimes totally being from what I can tell all the women my husband dated before me had one thing in common they what be specific Stuart they were slightly on the uh rubenesque side oh that's really good isn't it oh yeah it's the first intelligent contestant I met on this show in 20 years and I don't know what the hell he's talking about yeah yeah yeah you know of all the years I did this show and many people ask me who was your all-time favorite contestant well there have been so many wonderful contestants so it's difficult to choose a favorite but one lady comes to my mind and uh I had more fun with this contestant in 30 minutes I think than I've ever had with any contestant investor right there her name is Kathy now I don't know where she is today and I really don't want to know because I don't want to see her 30 years later because maybe she won't be as innocent as she was then I only want to remember her as she is and she established New Dimensions in dementia when I asked her whether her husband was Urban or rural I don't know what they mean well you know are you married what do you think uh heck he's Urban he's Urban yeah how long has he been that way about two months two months it is do you think there's anything you can do about it he went to a doctor thank you did that the doctor gave him anything for his Urban he gave me something wasn't she wonderful that was Kathy one of my all-time favorite princesses this young man is Jeffrey Jocelyn Jeffrey how are you nice to see you here nice to see you Bob may I call your mom you can call me anything you want I just don't care just spell it right that's all I ask if your parents were on the show but in 1972 um I believe I'm not that familiar you were just a gleam in their eye at the time now when they appeared on this show if I remember correctly your dad revealed a little secret about your mom are you gonna want to see this I don't think so well turn over there and take a look gentlemen what exactly was the last physical thing you were doing the last time your wife surprised you unexpectedly dead it'd have to be taking a shower because she's forever coming up and grabbing through the shower curtain she does is that too Mom and Dad you've never seen that before had you no are my friends don't see that no no no I'm staying right here I want to talk to your mom and dad once in a while good for you okay let me ask you a question Jeff uh how long do you think that you should date a girl before things get you know really romantic my parents are still here that doesn't matter listen don't worry about that because uh let me tell you what I ask your mother I asked your mother a question similar to that and take a look at what happens ah let's see before I would uh for how long um you'll meet for one week before uh 20 minutes [Music] foreign they appeared on the show in 1986 now Sandy was only 17 newly married just out of high school and she was one of the the sweetest most innocent millions that I ever interviewed and Here With a Little Help from some of our other newlywed couples as a conversation that I had with Sandy about love the new before you got married what you know now about being married will your husband say you would have gotten married sooner gotten married later or had second thoughts about the whole thing no it'd have to be later why well because we got I got married right after high school which I don't regret because I love him oh man a dog does it have um yeah does he throw tantrums no never okay only when I hit him when you hit it when he makes me mad all right she said you're last night um he is so sexy would you call him a real Don Juan [Music] [Music] let me tell you thank you I did like the stir the pot a little bit you know what I mean encourage the spirited discussions was how did your wife complete this and she said my husband's face is okay but I just wish he would he could trade bodies with who with uh Juan Gabriel oh my goodness [Music] it's not his favorite color do you think about my mother's flowers don't you dare say a word because the all-time disagreeer was a wonderful woman named Pearl Morris who had a lot of things to say to her husband Phil you watch what happens when the queen of Rumble takes issue with the answers given by her husband the king of humble if your husband's last girlfriend called him on the phone and said meet me you know where now where would he go to meet oh if he meets anybody it better be at the house at whose house I want to see what it's going to be about Trump said that he would meet he would meet this girl at a motel what hotel okay you are at the hotel the best to be meant you know I don't care if it is a question where's your dirty mind that you better not be nobody else is she still a jackpot bro oh yeah I would change my wife's top measurement from blank inches to blank inches if he could Pearl it'd be good he would change your top measurement from blank inches to blank inches yeah that's the one no he can't well he might be able to I mean we've got to change him right now we gotta you gotta change her mom what would he change them too from what to what you guys 38 to what about a 40. you're gonna change it from 38 to 40 is that what you tell me all right he said that he would change him from 38 to 34. what it was too much [Music] will your husband say the last animal dish he ate at home originally walked galloped swam or flu she said that it walked away foreign do you remember what you won on the show why'd you run on the zoo we were on the television set on the living room couch do you still have it we still have it yeah we'll do it to recliner chairs in a 25-inch Panasonic color TV and you still have it yes I do and that's fun I mean we gave away so many wonderful buys we're going to show now in order to win those prizes though our newlyweds usually had to reveal a few little secrets Elizabeth said the last wimpy thing you did is that you wouldn't kill a bug either you asked me to help you cats okay behind you have a great big behind everybody Carol has marital problems thank you like most of you many of the couples on our show were pretty young and innocent when they got married but that wasn't always the case from time to time we met wonderful couples who became newlyweds later in life they were wiser more experienced more mature more sophisticated and what is for sure always they always tried to put their best foot forward I was born with six toes and the doctor cut the wrong toe out I'm sorry how did he know what the right one would be yeah and they cut this one out and left that one up there you've been against this one tonight because he knows he knows what it is okay what is it um wherever you can uh don't get pregnant I'll take care of it that's this one wrong I don't know what I'm going to do yes you get mad because I let the dogs is it the sound of it I think Poseidon the side of it all right you know and how you come for every morning remember every morning and during the night oh honey how could you forget that oh honey honey it's a sound of it yeah sorry babe now you blew it is honey do something about your cough oh stop smoking yes what does he say well you gotta remember 32-32 she said that you've got a top card for me please Francis you've got 18 of your own team your fun points are not here they are too much I paid for them your girlfriend definitely has the best chest first name only please oh there's no two ways about it it's got to be Carol it does well there's more 200 about this then said it's a Evelyn Evelyn I think it Carol's name do you know Carol sure does she have a good test oh man yeah is he still a romantic devil oh my God we've got 96 years between his marriage and boy that's a lot of sex yes it is when it comes to making whoopee will your husband say he's got what it takes or it takes everything he's got Catherine everything about making poop you know I have a reasonably good memory [Music] coming back to our 25th anniversary of The Newlywed Game you know I don't think I ever met a newlywed couple who wasn't interested in scoring I'm talking about points okay but no matter how hard they tried some husbands just couldn't get in points of frustration where will your husband say it was the weirdest place he's ever been naked as a jaybird well at a park at a park what are we doing in the park we were inside my truck he was naked as a jaybird no how long ago was this Charles well a couple months ago oh good good answer good answer Patty said that you were in the living room oh I said if you would only eat less congratulated before you kiss me you fall asleep after the movie with me he said he always said he bought for you he bought you dead roses but you said they were dead three don't much time with us I know but she just comes over to visit there's only the two of us in the house she brings money she just doesn't spend it I want all of America to stop what they're doing and take a look at my husband doing his fantastic impression of what welcome to Monday Night Football what was that Charlie we're in Denver oh let me hit it again let me hit it again I see that you do Rambo should have heard what I said hey Charlie we have time do Rambo all right strawberries [Music] Jesus Jesus all right [Music] how many times in his life as your husband May will be and how many of those times were with you Dolores oh wow um I would have to say at least uh 3 500. how many times with you 800 and 200. 00 we've been married four months and there's more than 200 days in a month every day wait a minute I wanted to say 3500 I've only known you four years how many does that for you ought to be 200 days in your month it seems like it all the time three thousand give me a rest what is that dad's hair used to be straight before he got married remember one but I would ask a very simple question and I would get a not so simple answer what will your husband say is the title of the last movie you ask him to take you to that he didn't foreign did your sister go no I think she's going tomorrow I guess he would say I guess well I think it's positive you know like what kind of what they think like to be romantic you know because I mean we're just music take your clothes off in the camera oh believe me embarrassed me oh I couldn't believe it either I couldn't believe it but I know it that's what I said you know I I agree with you really that's right when you and your husband kick off the Super Bowl of Love does he spend more time tackling fumbling or coaching you know what he said he's fumbling fumbling you know you always tell me I'm funny you always do it nobody won't sit on the sound tackle now you said I don't tackle enough the reason why no tackling because you don't know what you're doing in the first place if you get it over just like that is that right he doesn't know what he's doing I don't know what I'm doing based on what I've seen and heard the perfect title for my husband's last girlfriend would be the 1989 Miss what oh let me see well I'll go with uh what the heck Frankenstein's daughter I have a good looking wife I hope you have a very beautiful life I I mean my last three girlfriends is that right yeah now she said the 1989 Miss body the girl was built now what happened to big legs that's all I ever heard of oh yeah looking at you baby looking in the face you was looking at them that's okay yeah what will your husband say is the one thing that makes his eyes bug out of their sockets of that name sexy lingerie sexy lingerie I'll do it huh you got some yeah do you use it you just might see a picture of my husband's wife the only thing that comes to mind Bob is looking up the definition of the word Superman Superman senior what my physique your physique I got a big surprise for you pal have ugly you'll see your nose Porter suggested that in the olden days a glimpse of a stocking was looked on as something shocking he was obviously talking about women but if he were writing the same song today he could just as easily have been writing about men especially if you've seen this what will your husband say is the last specific thing he did when he felt like being a girl for a while he put up my underwear there isn't much difference why he needed to wear them the immediate warm to work [Music] if you're in a hurry there's a heck of a difference I honestly forget to do in the shower what's he forget to do in the shower yes what can you forget to do in the shower I well um you know what can you forget to do in the shower it's pretty tough very pleased to wash his hair well let's not wash my hair I think it's just uh take a towel she said that you forget to wash your hands [Music] laughs [Music] you're welcome back everyone can you imagine that over the many years I did The Newlywed Game certain people work their way into my cart and certainly Into My Funny Bone now to those people were Charlie and Pat Berg one of the dearest and funniest couples that I ever met and believe me they need no more explanation than that will your wife say you have or have not ever gotten romantic with two girls at the same time what's the answer definitely yes yes oh yeah of course I didn't think this was any other time oh never he never happened before that job right challenge he said he has what are they tell everybody who were they who are rotten twice I told you twice you got romantic with two girls at the same time yeah two or three was there two two but I did it twice you did it twice you told her I told him a lot of butter before I got mad but she said oh that's all right you're a nice kid that would be interesting explicitly exclusively right yes our marriage is based strictly on trust she's gone how come you brought her up I I got him out of the home all right [Music] trigger in I don't see everybody else has points in Utah oh I don't know maybe you could trade her in trying trying I said think like I think when you answer the comments then I'm gone yeah girls how will your husband say you would complete this sentence my husband is a closet what pet Queen okay John how did your wife complete this sentence she said my husband is a closet what Tara you have no points whatsoever that's the way I predicted if you get this one right you will move into a tie for last place now your wife said you are a closet what classic freak Closet Freak hang on Charlie she said you're right let me see [Music] okay [Music] [Music] yeah get out while you can think of ourselves what's up is most of your money located in One bank or all spread out let's go first a couple number one Charlie and Pat you have zero 25 we give you 25 you zoom in the first place Charlie what makes he said most of your money is located in one day turn it up quality [Applause] thank you first time you start without your makeup you speak oh my God it's a boy I would say it's a piece of Turkey it's a fake it's a fake he said no game some things just never turned out the way you expected tell me how many movie sessions did it take before you finally got your husband to say I do about two thousand two thousand he said 100. is 100 probably 100. okay what's that I'm a little embarrassed romantically speak which of the following gears have you been in lately have you been in forward reverse or neutral that's what are you shaking your head forward [Music] oh yeah I see yeah he thinks he's a Hot Lover yeah foreign [Music] you know I will never forget this one particular episode of The Newlywed Game and a newlywed husband named Davey lamb and he gave me such a run for my money that I thought you know if I would ever go on the road to do a comedy routine this is the guy that I would want as my partner that is until I found out he was a lawyer and you know about lawyers or the sharks of the industry I mean this guy would have eaten me alive take a look what's the stupidest souvenir that you personally have kept from your wedding or reception Lord stupid as souvenir [Music] was that you snoring a little we have these candy almonds you kept the candy on yeah all right pressure yeah good thing you ate all the cake that's right yeah that's messy everybody what will your wife say is the funniest thing she's ever done in the romance Department it may be hard for you to believe this Bob oh really but uh yeah about a week ago she was uh in the El Buffalo nude and she did a Steve Martin impersonation I just Steve what's his name Steve Martin freshman in the nude what'd you sound like hey I'm Majestic all right he said that yeah Steve Martin in the news I'm curious who's the boss in your family now let me ask her it's a toss-up well it makes all the major decisions what major decisions one or two humps for a camera things like that unfiltered that's why we do walk for a one-hump camera Steve Martin yeah it's sincerely yours hello [Applause] [Music] you think that means love huh I don't know half of it ladies and Gentlemen please welcome Davey Lambs [Applause] [Music] you're a funny guy okay you still funny yeah I'm Still A Guy yeah that was 18 years ago you were in law school at that time yeah I just finished law school I was taking the bar in fact uh this month I'll be practicing all your teen years 18 years doesn't mind talking about his size at all but does it does it ever get in the way I mean do you have trouble because of your size it with your finger prices along not really in fact it's uh interesting situations come up I was in a jury trial about a month ago and we were getting close to lunch and the judge said Mr lamb uh do you have a short witness uh before lunch is taller than me and and we broke for lunch and we broke for lunch stay out here [Applause] that's about all the time that we have for us so I want to thank you all for being here guys thanks for all of our returning otherwise it's been so wonderful to spend this time if you have a chance to look back to remember all the love and all the laughter and all the special people that we shared it with it's just been just a remarkable time for me I love you all deeply God bless you all see you later bye bye bye everybody come on baby [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: Rich Short

Views: 183,478

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Id: JTs02IzPWlI

Length: 46min 53sec (2813 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 17 2023