[Applause] >>NAT PUFF: I'm going to start with a song, if you don't mind. If you do mind, then... stay quiet. [Laughter] [MUSIC: "I DON'T TRUST U ANYMORE"] ♫ You made me believe in hell To make it easy to visualize your body burning, oh well You'll just be bribing the judges as the court's adjourning And I guess it's inflation But damn, it's hard to value my two cents As a kid, I was idolizing millionaires and all the presidents But I don't trust them anymore No way, no way, no more, nohow And I may never trust again No way, no way, no, not right now You made me question my faith I started learning it hasn't gotten worse,
it's never been great I see you suck up to me as they attack my
sisters And before we would shake hands You bellowed in the bathroom, "Out, damned spot!" But I guess that you're proud of me, though But I don't trust you anymore No way, no way, no more, nohow And I may never trust again No way, no way, no not right now Oooh ooh ooh ooh Oooh ooh ooh ooh I remember the days when Your wretched image didn't make me sick And I wish it could still be like that But I don't trust you anymore
I don't trust you anymore I don't trust you anymore
Everybody! I don't trust you anymore
I don't trust you anymore I don't trust you anymore
You won't trust us anyway [Music Ends]
Thank you. [Applause] [Cheering] >>NAT PUFF: Hello! My name is Nat Puff. That song was called “I Don’t Trust U
Anymore,” which I released under the name Left At London. Left at London is the stage name that I use
for my music, but I also use that name in my social media. In March of this year, I quit my job to do
music full-time. I had plenty in my savings to lean on just
in case it didn't go over well, but thus far, I’ve been able to make just enough to support
myself. [Applause]
You guys are a great audience, wow! But some of you may not know me, so let’s
answer the question that I ask myself while disassociating to the mirror: Who am I? [Laughter]
My first experience with my face being attached to my virality was through Vine when, after
a full year of posting videos after videos, and getting about 2,000 loops tops, I posted
a Vine on October 27, 2015, a whole college degree ago, called “When ur tryna remember
how to spell lasagna”. [Video]
[Music: Death Grips, “Inanimate Sensation”] >>VOCALIST: Ah, yeah… N! >>NAT PUFF: And then that's the entire video. [Laughter] It's fine, what did you expect? [Laughter] I would’ve been able to accept the fact that this was my first stop on the virality
choo choo train, except that part of me felt guilty that my Vine sampling Death Grips got
more views than the actual music video for the song I sampled in the Vine. Like, more than three times the views. [Laughs] I’m truly convinced that if I ever meet any of the members of Death Grips in real
life, they will forcibly feed me to the CEO of TikTok. [Laughter] I would later find out that I had much more virality with another Vine that you nerds
probably know of, in which I famously said, “Hahaha, I do that.” [Laughter]
Don't clap for that. [Laughter]
This got about 28.7 million loops in Vine, and this is not including the large amount
of views gained in Vine compilations and Twitter threads. But you also might recognize me from my multiple
mashups that I did, my most popular being of DRAM & Yachty’s “Broccoli” with Metrostation’s
“Shake It” combined. But currently, the thing that I’m known
most for is making how-to videos where I dissect the way artists make music by telling you,
the viewer, how to create a song like theirs on your own. Which makes sense that they’re popular,
because Twitter is full of bottoms who love being told what to do. [Laughter] [Applause] Any bottoms in the house tonight? [Laughter] I see you. For those of you who haven’t seen them,
my how-to videos are pretty simple. I’ve done four, two of which have gotten
quite popular and two of them have been noticed by the artist themselves. In order of release, I’ve done Tay Keith,
Frank Ocean, Tyler, the Creator, and Mitski. All these things and more have helped me build
up a name for myself as an internet personality, as opposed to just a musician or just a former
Viner or just a mashup maker. It also helped me to get hired by Super Deluxe,
a multimedia company that I produced video content for about a year, until it got shut
down. >>[Quiet Voice] And a groan falls over the
room... >>I credit the Frank and Tyler videos with
a lot of my success as a serious musician, and the reason why is because although my
mashups were about music, both the mashups and Vines didn't exemplify my ability to make
original music, but these videos did. Soon after I released the Frank Ocean video,
I ended up becoming friends with Marco Collins, who is a legend in my hometown of Seattle. [Woo!] Hey! Okay, wow, one person. [Laughter] He was the first DJ to play Nirvana on the radio, ever. He ended up playing my music on the radio
station, KEXP. [Cheers]
Okay! Okay. I just gotta mention THINGS more often. [Laughter] [Applause]
Anybody here have a toaster oven in the house? [Cheers]
Now, who here says fuck toaster ovens! Toaster life for life! [Laughter]
This is so easy. [Laughter]
Why was I nervous? Okay. [Laughter]
Anyways, being on KEXP got my music to gain traction, which helped me be where I am today. I'm grateful for everything that’s happened
thus far in the way that it’s happened, but the weirdest part about having all these
facets of my life overlap is mostly exemplified by the fact I have been approached three times
while performing a concert to “play the Frank Ocean song.” And yes, it’s as unbearable as it sounds. Don’t do that! I also get people quoting my Vines in the
comments section of my Instagram. For some reason, people think the perfect
time to say “what about NASCAR?” is during a thirst trap. So I'm used to feeling boxed-in as an artist. Admittedly, as far as not being boxed-in goes,
I'm not the most successful example of all time, but I do feel like I’ve made some
strides. I'm not known primarily for the music, yet,
but much like how Vine took me a year to get a viral video, or how only getting 1,000 followers
on Twitter was a huge accomplishment at one point, you learn to take these things with
patience, with a mixture of graciousness and hunger for more to push you where you want
to go. It’s hard not to take these moments where
you’re recognized for something you don't necessarily want to be recognized for personally. I’ve had people recognize me from Vine or
Twitter, and not even know me by my name or that I make music. Some of you may fall under that category,
and it’s— [whispers] fine. It’s actually fine, I don’t care. However, there was an interesting pattern
I saw when I released the how-to videos. Here is a graph of my Spotify listeners based
on date, with no numbers because I didn't format this correctly. [Laughter]
These are only new listeners, not streams total. This first graph represents the first half
of the month of November. On November 9, I released Transgender Street
Legend Volume 1, which is that first hike up. But the second hike up is the exact moment
I released the Frank Ocean video. This next graph is from the month of April,
when I was bored, jobless, and recovering from surgery. This giant spike of new listeners at the end
is when I was retweeted by Tyler, the Creator himself. Who here likes Tyler, the Creator? [Applause]
This is SO easy! You guys are so easily manipulated. [Laughter]
But I know what you're thinking. [Laughter]
I know what you're thinking, which is, you’re just showing a bunch of graphs to prove that
you’re popular. It’s coming across as really egomaniacal,
to which I say, not according to this graph, I'm not! So what’s next? What’s happening in the world of Left At
London? Well, I have an album coming out, “You Are
Not Alone Enough”, and I’ve started producing and writing a crowdfunded show about songwriting
called “Compose Yourself.” [Laughter]
I love you, oh my God! I plan to start shooting episodes in October,
and I already have a wonderful crew. “You Are Not Alone Enough” is essentially
a conceptual album that is pretty much about my bad luck in dating throughout the year
2017. Some of the songs were written in 2015, but
they still fit the narrative and were updated to be more relevant about the relationships
I had that year. The result is a 10-track-long album that goes
from a healthy relationship to complications due to mental illness, to becoming purely
friends with benefits, to breaking up entirely. I document my former inability to feel confident
even pursuing relationships with somebody else, and even flash back to my abusive relationship
to exemplify my trauma with relationships as a whole. I don't want to tell you what happens next
and spoil the album, but that is kind of an ironic statement considering I’ve told you
about 70% of this album already. The reason I made this album was for two reasons. Both have to do with healing. Firstly, I wanted to heal myself. Most of these tracks were me just getting
out my feelings in the best way I knew how. It let me actually feel closure with all of
these past relationships. Secondly, I wanted to give others the same
opportunity. Hearing people's response to a breakup song
of mine that I already released on 2015, called “Waiting on a Ghost,” it was clear to
me that many people needed something that expanded on those feelings beyond just feeling
them. I wanted to make an album that promoted feeling
your feelings as much as you can, but also showed the healing process at the end of the
album as a push forward, as a jumping off point. I told a friend of mine this album isn’t
a therapy session, it’s the friend that tells you they can give you a ride to therapy. And it’s kind of true! This is by no means a replacement for that,
but it does give you a push to self-reflect, and does the first step to improving yourself,
or at least that’s what I like to think about my art. As far as my own art goes, I’ve written
since I was in fifth grade, working my way up to where I am today songwriting-wise. So I've had a lot of experience and I’ve
learned a lot of tips and tricks, which I intend to show in my upcoming series, Compose
Yourself, which I mentioned before. In the series, there will be a discussion
of how to write a melody, how to write a song starting with just one lyrical idea, and how
to avoid painfully over-used cliches, amongst other things. The most interesting part of this, with the
Vines, mashups, tweets, and everything else, I was moving around so much for the purpose
of not being boxed-in as an internet personality. What I found by doing this is that people
will box you in anyways, so you either have to get comfortable with the box or if you
have the means, move yourself to a different box. I’ve been recognized on the street for pretty
much every single major thing I’ve done. I’ve been recognized from Vine, Super Deluxe,
the mashups, and the how-to videos, but lately I’ve just been getting recognized by my
stage name, Left At London. When you change what people can recognize
you for, as long as you have a strong brand attached to it, it changes their perspectives. You’re no longer that person who did that
thing that one time, you’re called by your own name. And sure, creating a long-running series will
box me in somewhat, but that’s something I'm comfortable with it. Because I got to pick that box instead of
having other people pick that box for me. While I found this out unintentionally, I
realized the best way to build up an internet brand is to make sure you’re not just doing
things to please your audience, but also make sure you’re not doing things just to please
yourself. It’s a balance. To make content you enjoy is to make content
you’re passionate about, which ensures a better end product. And to make content your audience also cares
about ensures that somebody will actually watch it. There's loads of marketing and/or luck that
goes into making the end products seen by multiple people. But if you’re worried about marketing as
you’re trying to work on the product, it shows. If I started making more “how to make a
blank song” videos like my audience wanted but I didn't, then I’d have 600,000 how-to
videos with less than 4,000 views, because I'm not putting actual effort into it. I’m just doing the same patterns people
want me to do. What’s great for me about “Compose Yourself”
is that, as a concept, it doesn’t continue the prompt of how to make specific artist
songs, rather it expands on it until it’s about songwriting in general. As long as I balance what I want and what
my audience wants, then shit gets done. The how-to videos got people to want to hear
my original music, my original music got people to want to hear my process, and then that's
what Compose Yourself does. And alongside all this, I also do a podcast
with my girlfriend called, “Wine, Please!” Which, sure, not many people have listened
to, but it’s still something that I do for my own happiness, which adds balance to the
process, and gives listeners, watchers, and any types of viewers just some extra content. When I quit my job, I started working from
home. Most of my day began to just be answering
emails from others and writing more and more. Admittedly, I feel working at home enables
my depressive tendencies. This is one thing that not a lot of people
talk about in the industry, and it’s just how lonely the industry and the practice of
working at home just is. When I worked at a pizza place before, however,
I had co-workers I knew the names of, I had specific repetitive responsibilities… With working from home, it’s nothing like
that. Sure, there are routines, but truth be told,
I spend most of my time in bed lately. Whether that’s on my computer answering
emails or not. There’s this “once I’m done with this,
I’ll start working on myself” type of attitude that I’ve since adopted, which
I’ve come to realize over time is unhealthy and counter-productive. As creators, we cannot destroy or hinder our
growth for the sake of our work. Like I mentioned earlier, it’s all about
balance and finding it. Because art, content, or whatever the fuck
you want to call it, only thrives if we thrive. While I wrote “You Are Not Alone Enough”
in a dark place, I wasn’t purposely putting myself back in that dark place in order to
make good music. Music was just the way that I happened to
process those emotions and feelings. The best thing I can do for myself right is
give myself moments where I allow myself to breathe. I have this tattoo on my arm that says 478. The 4 is in my mom's handwriting, the 7 is
in my dad's handwriting, and the 8 is in my sister's handwriting. The reason for this tattoo is to remind me,
in moments where I want to give up, to just breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7, and
breathe out 8. I did this right before I went on stage, admittedly. As long as I repeat it for a couple of times,
it’s easy for me to calm down. It doesn't mean my problems are solved, by
any means, but that's what the music is for. Music doesn’t always cheer me up or distract
me, but that's what my other content is for. You see where I'm going with this? The variety helps me survive. It’s not just for the sake of not being
boxed in. Because you are a person, and every person
has so many intricate facets of themselves, some of which have yet to be discovered. You deserve to explore these facets of yourself
and see which ones resonates with you, and what resonates with your audience. You’ll find a much more like-minded audience,
if you do so. I’d like to end with another song, if you
all don't mind? This one is called “I Split My Ribs Open.” [MUSIC: "I SPLIT MY RIBS OPEN"] You go on and on and on and on and on About your plight
Tell me, will you be alright? Tell me if you'll be alright
You go on and on and on and on and on As if I didn't care
And I wish I could be there God, I wish I could be there for you Ah, ooh-hoo Ah, ooh-hoo Stay back, come back, make up your mind 'Cause I can feel it gettin' imminent I know you feel a bit resigned And I have never been articulate So say, are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? >>OPEN MIKE EAGLE: Tryin' on my slip-on disguise
I'm wondering which wire I done tripped on this time
Stuttering in every language I have ever learned And I'm usually hella good at seeming very
unconcerned But there's something in the sky
Or it's something in my eye Oh fuck it, I'm crying, and here's a bunch
of reasons why And maybe we should focus on the one that's
most ferocious >>TOGETHER: I split my ribs open >>OPEN MIKE EAGLE: Ain't nobody even notice
Look at all this blood This whole damn kitchen's about to flood
Afraid to dirty up your hospital scrubs or fuck up your buzz
When I'm gone don't pretend like you didn't know what it was
And nah, I don't mean when I die I mean when I leave without saying goodbye
I'm offended 'cause I'm hurting and your care is denied
You just gon' stare at the sky? Alright, bet, I'ma bear it in mind
But when it hurts, don't compare it to mine Left at London, y’all [APPLAUSE] >>NAT PUFF: Stay back, come back, make up your mind Cause I can feel it getting imminent I know you feel a bit resigned
And I have never been articulate So say, are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Are you safe? Ooooh [Loud Applause] [Cheers] I've always wanted to do this! [Cheers] [Applause] Thank you so much! [Applause]
